I would hate to lose my gallery. Another of the work I no longer have access to due to Seagate drives constantly failing. So it's disheartening to think I could lose a lot of my older works.

A small prayer to honor the fallen founder.

May your way be paved for ease of travel as you move from one realm to another. May you shed your troubles of life and prepare yourself for new adventures ahead. May the ether eternal accept you and all you've experienced within it's bosom and let you rest.

Let the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beauty shape your new vessel, and return you to us one day. May your soul shine and glow, and May you know peace.

Looking at the... horror that is pre-2020 art pieces I've done, I want to know if anyone would pay me to redo the older works.

If so, let me know. It will be discounted, no doubt, so hit me up and let me know if you want your work clean and updated. My skills have improved a lot and I know I can make the piece look so much better.

I have a lot to post so I'll be posting what I have on backlog

I'm opening 2 slots for commissions. Some of my work will be done soon so I wanna line up new works to work on.

One week away. Next Thursday I'll be 34. I have decided not to do a birthday art this year because I'm backlogged on artwork.

Opted instead to buy a couple refsheets.

For the most part I'm throwing my own party and well, it will be small. I invited people, primarily the furs around town, and I don't know why I bother they never come. No matter where I invite them to, they never show up.

At least it will be a cheap party. Gotta make a list.

Speaking of lists.

Selling sketches 5$ each. If you want a 5$ sketch like. I'll make a list. :D

As a birthday gift for myself, I'm looking to buy 2 ref sheets, one for Zarek and one for Wulfette. So looking for recommendations on artists who are reasonbly priced and can do them. looing to pay 75 or so for each. so if you know someone, please let me know.

www.picarto.tv/ZareksArtwork

Come sit and watch.

What the fuck did I do? What was so bad that you are coming for me everytime something good happens to me? Like fucking hell!!!

I finally got paid by Uber and it was nearly 100 more than I thought. And today when I was doing order 3 of the day, I'm stepping up a stair and FEEL a pop in my calf, and the longer I let it sit the harder it gets to walk on it.

Keeping it neutral is the only way that it doesn't hurt as much. I can't put it into flexion and God forbid extending it. Looking up online says it's a torn muscle that will need work. So that means.... bunk so much bunk.

Currently at the Urgent Care and waiting to be seen.

Art has been a struggle for me as of recently. Either I lack motivation or I lack time. Which only compounds with being Broke.

At present here is what I owe:

URGENT -  Tarsus85 Comic 3pages, prepaid, still in skeleton phase, started fleshing out characters but realize revision is needed on some poses. Will work it out over the coming weeks.

 Basian IHOTH Bundle, 2Shaded, 2Flat, 2Sketches

Free works:

Refsheet, Badge

OTHER TASKS NEEDED

I've been working with the crew that manages Further Confusion as one of their Leads so I'm revising some ideas to manage my department. Have some ideas that I want to put forth, namely a brief manual.

I'm working with local furs to run a small convention here in Fresno. Hoping to get that underway.

Trying to work with SoCal fur to start up a con in Ontario California. Hopefully that goes well.

Financial Situation:

Working 3 jobs will kill me I know it. My left calf keeps trying to charliehorse on me so that is not fun.

Styxx needs a cone, but at present I can't afford one. Hopefully last weeks pay from UberEats gets deposited soon so I can use that to buy one for him. I had to use my earnings from Instacart, which I had hoped to put towards groceries, to buy new headlights for my car and then spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out how to put them in.

I'm figuring I'm gonna have to break company policy and go back on 24hr schedule, because work is so fucking slow and I'm barely making any hours or money for that matter, thus needing the second and third job.

Still looking for other work, but it's getting really tempting to just start Uber Driving as well as Uber Eating. I'll try and set aside Saturday as a day of Rest.

Aside from being dead broke all month long, last check was 30$ and I had to get a cash advance for bills, now pupper looks to have a wounded paw pad. So vet visit tomorrow. Yay more money spent. Struggling to get out of debt, and now working instacart and UberEats to pay bills, though it's looking like I'll have to try Uber driving, with a rental of course, to really keep up with Bill payments and shit. Kmn

I'll be streaming and will be taking in stream commissions. I have pieces I'll be working on but also trying to make money.

stream sketches will be 10$ this time around discounted from 15

picarto.tv/ZareksArtwork

I'll choose 5

Pick 1 to 100 and I'll choose.

ends jan 10th

Are you attending further confusion 2024 and have space in your room? I'm looking for space to crash, my other plans fell through. I'll take floor space np, I'll just need space for myself and my large duffel. Won't be in the room much since I'll be GoFur lead and and managing the volunteers. Mainly need space to crash between shifts. If interested please dm me.

I'm doing my Xmas cards again this year and will be working on them this week. If you would like one dm me your address

I have 5 available if anyone needs one.

Bidding for my Fucksgiving YCH ends tonight. Get in on it while you can.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54347437/

Bids are still low. It will be shaded and it will be done before Thanksgiving!!! So grab that last spot while you can.

Still have one slot left to fill. If interested or know someone who is please https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54347437/ pass it along.

Bidding starts at 15 dollars and so far no takers have been interested in it.

Be a apart of my annual picture.

So far no one is interested and after the failure that was my "best work yet" as others tell me... im feeling vulnerable like my art is shit and not worth what I'm attempting to charge for if.


What follows is a rant:















But hey depression has peaked so I'm feeling a certain type of way. I'm at risk of being homeless, my snake died, my car needs more repairs than I can afford, can't find work to save my worthless life.

I've lost 2 cats this year, in debt from their medical bills. Barely afford food, about to put what money I have to rent so I won't be buying food for a while.

I'm hating my life in a big way. Just absolutely destroying myself mentally with all the stress and bullshit I have to deal with.

I'm just tired I guess.

https://bsky.app/profile/lordzarek.bsky.social

you can follow my other socials as well:

www.picarto.tv/ZareksArtwork

https://twitter.com/HelishDreamWulf

https://discord.gg/j6rzEtM395

https://inkbunny.net/ZarekKayne

So I was checking my bank account, as I do everyday, living paycheck to paycheck kinda warrants constant checking and verifying balances, and lo and behold I see a charge from fucking grubhub. Soemthing I havent used EVER, because the prices were higher than doordash. So i'm like WTF, when and how? So i immediately check Grubhub. the only cards on the account are inactive. No recent and no past orders because again, I signed up but the prices on doordash were cheaper so i went with doordash. I checked my emails, no emails from grubhub. No notifications anywhere.

So first I tried to resolve it VIA grubhub, they were unhelpful as can be. they escalated the issue and told me to contact my bank. I couldnt dispute from the app because it was still processing so I had to call one of my reps to get it handled. They have to wait for the charge to go through to credit me back and then conduct an investigation. in the mean time I have a new card coming in the next 5 to 6 days and just have to twiddle my thumbs like an idgit until then.

I was having SUCH A GOOD FUCKING WEEK . and then this bullshit. FUCKING HELL.


(Yes, one minor inconvenience and fuck everything up. and everything is now FUCKED UP)

So work is playing games with my money, and at this point I'm ready to go to the Labour Board and just file a complaint for wages not paid. The games are getting ridiculous and I do not appreciate the run around.

Unfortunately, I need to do laundry and lack the fucks, and the funds, to do so at the moment, but basically need $40 to get that done.

If your willing to help, I'll do a Flat color piece for you.

DM me, and let me know

Im out about and gonna work on art.

Thank you for your patience and care

I've been diagnosed with diverticulitis, with a perforation in my sigmoid colon. Surgery may be possible. Right now, I've been hospitalized and am expected to remain for 5 days.

Art is on hold. If I owe you something note me and I'll put you on a list.

Thank you for your support and patience.

I'm trying to open dialogue and really get to know people. Ive been trying to not be a shut in, hard when im less motivated to be around people, so im trying to build friendships. So ask me anything you wish.


Also, I'm open fir 5 free art sketches.

Commissions are also open