Peaps Character Meme
Posted 12 years agoYour Character:
Peapsohanafelekreekekhana Traelli (But you can call me Peaps!)
1. Gender?
Girly girly girl girl with boobies
2. Age?
243 (I know! I'm young! ;.;)
3. Hug?
Awww! Huggles for you!
4. Bad Habits?
Well, some people think I have a bad habit of verping in without permission. And commenting on their lovemaking. And munching on crisps too loud when I'm watching. And watching people. And leaving the door open when I leave. And putting the cat on them too!
5. Favorite Food?
Nuts! Tons of them and every kind. Cashews, peanuts, ball nuts (heee), almonds, walnuts pecans, pistachiooooooos.
6. Ice Cream Flavor?
It's cold and sugary, I don't care!
7.What is your species?
Sugarglider/??? Traelli Daemon!
8. Killed Anyone?
If anyone else asks, no. But between you and me? Yeah, I've had a few oooh..... accidents.
9. Hate Anyone?
I'm supposed to love the other families, but I hate hate hate Ravickers and Mercans. They are meany grumpy nasty arrogant narciss-istic assholes!
10. Secrets?
Plenty! I know of an eighth primary color on the visual spectrum. I called it Supra. I have tons of them because Mama said if I told everyone every secret I knew it'd make their mind explode. Mine already has, so I'm immune to mind explosions too!
11. Favorite Season?
Spring! Cuz I love doing it over and over and over and over and over and over. Oop! Got stuck in a loop there.
12. Best Friends?
I have too many! But I'll try. Mama B'nat, Mizz MaeMae, Miss Hestia, Missus Jenna, DammyWham Damacon, ehhh, I'm bored with this. Everyone's my best friend!
13. Hobbies?
I like exploring new universes and worlds and going back in time to play fetch with myself as a baby. Oh! And seeing all my friends and poking their internal organs cuz they make the funniest faces!
14. Fav Drink?
Hot cocoa, yum. With whip cream AND marshmallows.
15. Birthday?
It's sometime every year, I think.
16. Nice Or Mean?
Well, I like being nice until I don't. Then I'm mean.
17. What do you think of your creator?
She watches me go potty, but she doesn't draw for other people to laugh at me, so I like her!
18. Weakness?
People say I'm crazy I guess. Oh! Or I'm forgetful! Oh! Or I have no sense of direction! Orrrrr Well... I couldn't verp like I do without my arm flaps! So like if they get cut or torn or anything, I'm stuck like everyone else!
19. How long can you stay underwater?
Infinitely! Cuz I'm a daemon and daemons are awesome!
20. What do you do on a regular basis?
I verp around and talk to people! Or play pranks. Yep. Love a good 'where'd my apple go?'
21. Do you love someone?
I love everyone!
22. Does the person love you back?
Not usually. Some do though! Mama loves me, and Mizz MaeMae does most of the time cuz I'm "useful".
23. What do you consider fun in the day time?
Sunning next to a sun or verping around I suppose!
24. At night?
Mooning next to a moon? Or Verping.
25. Do you like to play videogames?
I wish they had them back home! I like the ones where you control the people in the metal boxes and they god vrooooooooom and then you hit hookers with the metal vroom boxes and then you steal their money!
26. Are you gay?
I'm all!
27. Say that you were trapped in a closet with your lover for 2 days.
Oh Elders, I'd be climbing the walls! There's so much to do and so many people to meet, why would I want to be stuck with one for two whole days?!
28. Place of origin?
I don't remember! But my home city sorta is Goddess Gate. I'm not supposed to leave there cuz I'm on 'probation' for some such thing about upsetting the mortals, but I do anyway cuz no one can stop me!
29. Large or small family?
Technically my family is small! There aren't that many Traelli yet cuz we're a fairly new family in the clan. But if you count that I'm from the Mehar clan, then I have toooooooooooooooons of family.
30. Who are your parents?
I don't remember! I know my mama was a sugarglider, but I have a new mama now, Mama B'nat, so she's my parent.
31. Do you have a phobia?
Sharks! They are huge and scary and they sneak up on me when I'm in the water and I can't verp away if I don't know it's coming!
32. Piercing/tattoos?
Nooooope!
33. Do you have a pet?
I have a pet baby mammoth that I visit a lot and take care of cuz her mama and daddy DIED!
34. Lucky number?
42! Such a pretty number
35. Favorite color?
I like ALL colors, but I like supra the best cuz it's my shh secret color!
36. Eye color?
My eyes are purple and my pupils are supra, but no one can see the supra, so I just say purple unless I want to be espific
37. Hair color?
Tealyblue and blueblue!
38. Quick! Someone kissed your love! what do you do?
Kiss them!
39. Fav music?
Things that go boom boom boom twee twee tch tch tch tch ummph tsk ummph tsk ummph tsk. And thump da thump thump da thumthumthumthumthum. I like drums a lot!
40. Where do you want to be right now?
At the beginning of the universe, or rather right before it. It's nice and quiet and I like to sit and think there.
41. What are you in your love's opinion?
I don't have a love, but most people think I'm the single most annoying being in world.
42. Do you have a work?
I'm the letter runner for the clan right now! I take letters to other parts of the world where the colonies are or to individuals that are isolated for some reason or another. It's important for the clan to remain connected to their friends and family!
43. You are alone. What do you do?
Go exploring!
44. Do you like parties?
They're a bit too crowded in for me really. I like them, but I don't really go to them cuz I have HUGE ears and they're sensitive!
45. When you're alone at home, what do you like to do?
Well, I like to garden! I know! Random right?!
46. Someone has drawn you in a porn situation?
Hahah! Penises are funny looking.
47. Favourite film?
That one where everybody's like yay we're on a ship and most of us are poor but some of us aren't and the poor boy falls in love with the rich girl and draws her naked then they steam up a car then they all die cuz the ship breaks but the girl lives and she's an old lady with saggy boobies thats like awww I lost my love cuz he drowned sad.
48. Tell something about your otp before finish.
Whazzat?
49. The End, would you share that quiz to someone?
Oh Oh Oh!
KarnKitsune
Peapsohanafelekreekekhana Traelli (But you can call me Peaps!)
1. Gender?
Girly girly girl girl with boobies
2. Age?
243 (I know! I'm young! ;.;)
3. Hug?
Awww! Huggles for you!
4. Bad Habits?
Well, some people think I have a bad habit of verping in without permission. And commenting on their lovemaking. And munching on crisps too loud when I'm watching. And watching people. And leaving the door open when I leave. And putting the cat on them too!
5. Favorite Food?
Nuts! Tons of them and every kind. Cashews, peanuts, ball nuts (heee), almonds, walnuts pecans, pistachiooooooos.
6. Ice Cream Flavor?
It's cold and sugary, I don't care!
7.What is your species?
Sugarglider/??? Traelli Daemon!
8. Killed Anyone?
If anyone else asks, no. But between you and me? Yeah, I've had a few oooh..... accidents.
9. Hate Anyone?
I'm supposed to love the other families, but I hate hate hate Ravickers and Mercans. They are meany grumpy nasty arrogant narciss-istic assholes!
10. Secrets?
Plenty! I know of an eighth primary color on the visual spectrum. I called it Supra. I have tons of them because Mama said if I told everyone every secret I knew it'd make their mind explode. Mine already has, so I'm immune to mind explosions too!
11. Favorite Season?
Spring! Cuz I love doing it over and over and over and over and over and over. Oop! Got stuck in a loop there.
12. Best Friends?
I have too many! But I'll try. Mama B'nat, Mizz MaeMae, Miss Hestia, Missus Jenna, DammyWham Damacon, ehhh, I'm bored with this. Everyone's my best friend!
13. Hobbies?
I like exploring new universes and worlds and going back in time to play fetch with myself as a baby. Oh! And seeing all my friends and poking their internal organs cuz they make the funniest faces!
14. Fav Drink?
Hot cocoa, yum. With whip cream AND marshmallows.
15. Birthday?
It's sometime every year, I think.
16. Nice Or Mean?
Well, I like being nice until I don't. Then I'm mean.
17. What do you think of your creator?
She watches me go potty, but she doesn't draw for other people to laugh at me, so I like her!
18. Weakness?
People say I'm crazy I guess. Oh! Or I'm forgetful! Oh! Or I have no sense of direction! Orrrrr Well... I couldn't verp like I do without my arm flaps! So like if they get cut or torn or anything, I'm stuck like everyone else!
19. How long can you stay underwater?
Infinitely! Cuz I'm a daemon and daemons are awesome!
20. What do you do on a regular basis?
I verp around and talk to people! Or play pranks. Yep. Love a good 'where'd my apple go?'
21. Do you love someone?
I love everyone!
22. Does the person love you back?
Not usually. Some do though! Mama loves me, and Mizz MaeMae does most of the time cuz I'm "useful".
23. What do you consider fun in the day time?
Sunning next to a sun or verping around I suppose!
24. At night?
Mooning next to a moon? Or Verping.
25. Do you like to play videogames?
I wish they had them back home! I like the ones where you control the people in the metal boxes and they god vrooooooooom and then you hit hookers with the metal vroom boxes and then you steal their money!
26. Are you gay?
I'm all!
27. Say that you were trapped in a closet with your lover for 2 days.
Oh Elders, I'd be climbing the walls! There's so much to do and so many people to meet, why would I want to be stuck with one for two whole days?!
28. Place of origin?
I don't remember! But my home city sorta is Goddess Gate. I'm not supposed to leave there cuz I'm on 'probation' for some such thing about upsetting the mortals, but I do anyway cuz no one can stop me!
29. Large or small family?
Technically my family is small! There aren't that many Traelli yet cuz we're a fairly new family in the clan. But if you count that I'm from the Mehar clan, then I have toooooooooooooooons of family.
30. Who are your parents?
I don't remember! I know my mama was a sugarglider, but I have a new mama now, Mama B'nat, so she's my parent.
31. Do you have a phobia?
Sharks! They are huge and scary and they sneak up on me when I'm in the water and I can't verp away if I don't know it's coming!
32. Piercing/tattoos?
Nooooope!
33. Do you have a pet?
I have a pet baby mammoth that I visit a lot and take care of cuz her mama and daddy DIED!
34. Lucky number?
42! Such a pretty number
35. Favorite color?
I like ALL colors, but I like supra the best cuz it's my shh secret color!
36. Eye color?
My eyes are purple and my pupils are supra, but no one can see the supra, so I just say purple unless I want to be espific
37. Hair color?
Tealyblue and blueblue!
38. Quick! Someone kissed your love! what do you do?
Kiss them!
39. Fav music?
Things that go boom boom boom twee twee tch tch tch tch ummph tsk ummph tsk ummph tsk. And thump da thump thump da thumthumthumthumthum. I like drums a lot!
40. Where do you want to be right now?
At the beginning of the universe, or rather right before it. It's nice and quiet and I like to sit and think there.
41. What are you in your love's opinion?
I don't have a love, but most people think I'm the single most annoying being in world.
42. Do you have a work?
I'm the letter runner for the clan right now! I take letters to other parts of the world where the colonies are or to individuals that are isolated for some reason or another. It's important for the clan to remain connected to their friends and family!
43. You are alone. What do you do?
Go exploring!
44. Do you like parties?
They're a bit too crowded in for me really. I like them, but I don't really go to them cuz I have HUGE ears and they're sensitive!
45. When you're alone at home, what do you like to do?
Well, I like to garden! I know! Random right?!
46. Someone has drawn you in a porn situation?
Hahah! Penises are funny looking.
47. Favourite film?
That one where everybody's like yay we're on a ship and most of us are poor but some of us aren't and the poor boy falls in love with the rich girl and draws her naked then they steam up a car then they all die cuz the ship breaks but the girl lives and she's an old lady with saggy boobies thats like awww I lost my love cuz he drowned sad.
48. Tell something about your otp before finish.
Whazzat?
49. The End, would you share that quiz to someone?
Oh Oh Oh!
KarnKitsuneAsk Hestia anything!
Posted 12 years agoJust a fun little thing. Many of you know my daemoness Hestia Mehar who has been my main character since I was very young. She has kindly volunteered to be asked questions for anyone curious about anything at all in pertinence to her.
She sits patiently waiting to reply!
She sits patiently waiting to reply!
Thank you Wolfrider!
Posted 12 years agoI just wanted to say a special thank you to
wolfrider for the commitment he's had to commissioning me for art as well as his most recent grand gesture.
I now have join.me pro for a full year!
My permanent streaming address is https://join.me/LovelyBlu.
All of you can have Josh to thank for that. I cannot express how awesome and helpful he has been and just how great of a patron he is.
wolfrider for the commitment he's had to commissioning me for art as well as his most recent grand gesture.I now have join.me pro for a full year!
My permanent streaming address is https://join.me/LovelyBlu.
All of you can have Josh to thank for that. I cannot express how awesome and helpful he has been and just how great of a patron he is.
To Furry Fiesta I gooooooo! <3
Posted 12 years agoI'll be gone til Monday, then I work Tues. and Wed. So yeah, won't officially be active again until after that! To everyone else going, safe journey and I hope to see you there! Most likely places to find me would be by the pool hanging or in the smoking area. I'm the blonde with way too many streaks of blue in her hair (my buddy went a little crazy with the hair dye. )
Migraine help, please comment
Posted 12 years agoI am looking into what treatments people find most effective for migraines when they come and would also like to suggest my own remedies for anyone that experiences them. I've noticed that as I get older, migraines are happening more frequently rather than simple headaches. While I'll be getting insurance soon to look into why this is happening, I'm interested to see how other people deal with migraine pains.
My current treatment has been relatively effective:
1. I take Ibuprofen ONLY. I avoid caffeine like the plague, which is in a lot of migraine pills that have never seemed to be very effective on me for migraines.
2. Most of my treatment of migraines relate to heat in some way. The first is making myself some hot tea with lemon and honey. I like Island Mango and Peach by Lipton, but I have plain white tea with a brew pot I got for christmas. Plus, at least two bottles of water. (An often overlooked trigger of migraines is dehydration.)
3. Awesome hot/cold eye mask. I bought this from Walgreens during one of my 'can barely see straight' days. Heated that puppy up in the microwave and let it work it's magic on more than just my eyes. Looking into getting another one that is a long tube I can put around the back of my head.
4. If nothing else works, I hop in the tub. Sitting with my back to the shower head, I slowly amp up the heat of the shower until I can barely stand it and then slowly roll my head to let the water hit where I have the most pain. I keep my eyes shut and breathe with my mouth open. I find that the steam and heat plus the soft beating of the water really helps me to relax.
5. While in the shower or after my neck has warmed up, I do a little bit of neck stretches and rolls with a small amount of pressure applied by hand to give some resistance. It helps relieve building tension in the area.
6. Lavender and vanilla aromatherapy. For some reason, this helps. I'm very sensitive to perfumes and colognes and they will actually make me sick, but a combination of lavender and vanilla essential oils in a warming pot help significantly in soothing me during the stress of being in throbbing blinding head pain. (Bath and body works also has a pillow mist called 'sleep' which is lavender and vanilla. I use this regularly now in my room.)
My current treatment has been relatively effective:
1. I take Ibuprofen ONLY. I avoid caffeine like the plague, which is in a lot of migraine pills that have never seemed to be very effective on me for migraines.
2. Most of my treatment of migraines relate to heat in some way. The first is making myself some hot tea with lemon and honey. I like Island Mango and Peach by Lipton, but I have plain white tea with a brew pot I got for christmas. Plus, at least two bottles of water. (An often overlooked trigger of migraines is dehydration.)
3. Awesome hot/cold eye mask. I bought this from Walgreens during one of my 'can barely see straight' days. Heated that puppy up in the microwave and let it work it's magic on more than just my eyes. Looking into getting another one that is a long tube I can put around the back of my head.
4. If nothing else works, I hop in the tub. Sitting with my back to the shower head, I slowly amp up the heat of the shower until I can barely stand it and then slowly roll my head to let the water hit where I have the most pain. I keep my eyes shut and breathe with my mouth open. I find that the steam and heat plus the soft beating of the water really helps me to relax.
5. While in the shower or after my neck has warmed up, I do a little bit of neck stretches and rolls with a small amount of pressure applied by hand to give some resistance. It helps relieve building tension in the area.
6. Lavender and vanilla aromatherapy. For some reason, this helps. I'm very sensitive to perfumes and colognes and they will actually make me sick, but a combination of lavender and vanilla essential oils in a warming pot help significantly in soothing me during the stress of being in throbbing blinding head pain. (Bath and body works also has a pillow mist called 'sleep' which is lavender and vanilla. I use this regularly now in my room.)
Valentine's Day meme
Posted 12 years agoStolen from
tobiasamaranth
1. Are you single or taken?
Single
2. Chocolate or flowers?
Flowers, I don't eat much chocolate and those kind with fruit flavored things in them gross me out.
3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
I'll be lounging about and relaxing watching some Once Upon a Time
4. Do you like anyone?
Of course I do!
5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
Nope.
6. Who do you want to spend Valentines with?
It would be nice to go out with my friends, but I honestly will enjoy spending a quiet night to myself.
7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Not really. I shouldn't need an excuse to be sweet on someone.
8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
A couple times
9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
Happily, if I had someone to send one to.
10. Do you believe in Cupid?
Hehe. No
11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
My mom used to when I was a kid.
12. Do you still send out Valentine cards?
No.
13. Do you like candy hearts?
I like reading them, but I'll skip on gnawing on chalk.
14. What is something you got last Valentines?
I got a balloon and flowers from a friend.
15. Is Valentines depressing?
Not at all. I actually keep patting myself on the back for not being married to someone incompatible right now.
16. How is your love life?
It's been a bit stagnant as of late.
17. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
No.
18. How many roses would you want to receive?
One is fine with me.
19. Will you have a girlfriend/boyfriend this Valentines day?
Naw.
20. Do you look forward to Valentines day?
Valentine's day is for couples. So no, not really.
21. Who was your last Valentine from?
My friend Jen.
22. Who do you expect to get a Valentine from this year?
I don't really expect anyone to get me something. It would be a shocking and pleasant surprise, but not expected.
23. Who would you most like to receive a Valentine from?
Hmmm! I'm not calling anyone out <3
24. How many Valentines will you be sending this year?
None.
25. Have you ever not received a Valentine?
Oddly, no. I always get something from someone. Never from the same person either but always from friends.
26. What was the most Valentines you received in a single day?
I have absolutely no clue.
27. Have you ever received an anonymous Valentine?
Yes, in High School
28. Have you ever sent an anonymous Valentine?
Yes, in High School
29. Will you be sending an anonymous Valentine this year?
Is it even possible to send a valentine anonymously that actually means something? (IE I don't mean egiftcards)
30. What was the best Valentine gift you ever received?
A beautiful candle holder centerpiece type thing. I was totally not expecting it.
31. What was the worst?
I'm very very very easily pleased. Pocket lint would get a smile from me.
32. Have you ever started dating someone on Valentines day?
No.
Adding to the list:
33. For a Valentine's dinner would you prefer a home cooked meal or go to a restaurant?
home cooked meal
34. What do you think is the best gift you've ever given for V-day?
I gave one of my girlfriends a homemade valentine with a bad poem I wrote myself. I thought it was corny, but it made her cry so it was the best response I've gotten.
tobiasamaranth1. Are you single or taken?
Single
2. Chocolate or flowers?
Flowers, I don't eat much chocolate and those kind with fruit flavored things in them gross me out.
3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
I'll be lounging about and relaxing watching some Once Upon a Time
4. Do you like anyone?
Of course I do!
5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
Nope.
6. Who do you want to spend Valentines with?
It would be nice to go out with my friends, but I honestly will enjoy spending a quiet night to myself.
7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Not really. I shouldn't need an excuse to be sweet on someone.
8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
A couple times
9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
Happily, if I had someone to send one to.
10. Do you believe in Cupid?
Hehe. No
11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
My mom used to when I was a kid.
12. Do you still send out Valentine cards?
No.
13. Do you like candy hearts?
I like reading them, but I'll skip on gnawing on chalk.
14. What is something you got last Valentines?
I got a balloon and flowers from a friend.
15. Is Valentines depressing?
Not at all. I actually keep patting myself on the back for not being married to someone incompatible right now.
16. How is your love life?
It's been a bit stagnant as of late.
17. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
No.
18. How many roses would you want to receive?
One is fine with me.
19. Will you have a girlfriend/boyfriend this Valentines day?
Naw.
20. Do you look forward to Valentines day?
Valentine's day is for couples. So no, not really.
21. Who was your last Valentine from?
My friend Jen.
22. Who do you expect to get a Valentine from this year?
I don't really expect anyone to get me something. It would be a shocking and pleasant surprise, but not expected.
23. Who would you most like to receive a Valentine from?
Hmmm! I'm not calling anyone out <3
24. How many Valentines will you be sending this year?
None.
25. Have you ever not received a Valentine?
Oddly, no. I always get something from someone. Never from the same person either but always from friends.
26. What was the most Valentines you received in a single day?
I have absolutely no clue.
27. Have you ever received an anonymous Valentine?
Yes, in High School
28. Have you ever sent an anonymous Valentine?
Yes, in High School
29. Will you be sending an anonymous Valentine this year?
Is it even possible to send a valentine anonymously that actually means something? (IE I don't mean egiftcards)
30. What was the best Valentine gift you ever received?
A beautiful candle holder centerpiece type thing. I was totally not expecting it.
31. What was the worst?
I'm very very very easily pleased. Pocket lint would get a smile from me.
32. Have you ever started dating someone on Valentines day?
No.
Adding to the list:
33. For a Valentine's dinner would you prefer a home cooked meal or go to a restaurant?
home cooked meal
34. What do you think is the best gift you've ever given for V-day?
I gave one of my girlfriends a homemade valentine with a bad poem I wrote myself. I thought it was corny, but it made her cry so it was the best response I've gotten.
Not so Fast Art Flood
Posted 13 years agoMore like a... gently trickling stream... since FA decided to put a minute limit between pictures. So.... A month's worth of art? *checks her watch* I'll be done in time for dinner maybe?
But! A new feature is sketch pages! Those things most of you miss because I'm doing personal art and don't feel that should be shared on a vast public scale. You will get to see rarely featured characters and insights seen by only a few. Enjoy!
But! A new feature is sketch pages! Those things most of you miss because I'm doing personal art and don't feel that should be shared on a vast public scale. You will get to see rarely featured characters and insights seen by only a few. Enjoy!
dooby doo
Posted 13 years ago(As a note: Yes, this was written after almost 3 days of little sleep. I am leaving it up, because I still believe that voicing my fears openly makes them much easier to deal with. It has also helped in some cases for me to get ideas that could be put into practice. Thank you for everyone who responded and dealt with the ridiculous amount of doom and gloom in this. Your strength has helped me get over a pretty big freak out.)
I'm not okay. A couple weeks before oklacon, I had something odd happen to me. Home invasion style odd. I suppose the weight of that occurrence is now really hitting home. I couldn't sleep last night, with half-awake fantasies running through my head of faceless men creeping around my backyard; uttering soft whispers to make sure they weren't detected.
A single person invaded my territory, and while he took nothing from me, he gave me a very real fear. Somehow, before; I was comforted by the fact that my odd sleep schedule would keep me safe and aware, but now that no longer keeps me asleep through the night. After all, a person desperate enough to enter my household probably won't be dissuaded from such by a butcher knife. If anything, it might turn a simple breaking and entering plus thievery into something much darker, because in my lucid dreams, eventually; I always see them. They have faces that make them vulnerable and more susceptible to violence.
I'm not sure where.this fear comes from, but I can guess it's two most likely sources: fear of the unknown and fear of death. In the former, I'm afraid I won't be aware of the crime being committed, or that I will be awoken and disoriented by the sin in progress. I fear in some of these fantasies that the faceless men aren't coming for material gain. They are coming in their drug-addled logic simply to harm or scare, and that is the worst possible thing I could think of. In the latter fear, I think of being shot point blank in my sleep, never aware of the act but the seconds it might take to process 'I am dying and in pain,' if I'm even afforded that. Worse, even the possible emppowerment of knowing my enemy could even more result in my face gnawed off or my stomach being stabbed into.
The first step for me into conquering my fear is giving it a voice, so I write this journal to make it more real than my paranoid delusions. Make it more real and it is something that can be fought, because you can't fight the dreams buried in your subconscious. Now my faceless invaders exist, and to stop fearing them, I have to be able to thwart them. This is where I am now. It's not a good place to be. I want to make a positive conclusion, to end this on a good note, but as my first sentence says, I'm not okay. So, I'll end with:
To be continued.
[Edit: I've done some good long talking about this issue with a couple of friends and taken the next step to making myself feel more secure. Namely, the dryer now blocks my back laundry room door that is the weak point of this house. I'm feeling a little bit better with that knowledge. One step at a time. And the back porch lights left on constantly. VERY sensitive motion detecting annoying halloween noise thing on back porch. Feels good with just those small steps. Next step: motion sensor lights for the backporch pointed toward the backyard and solar decorative lights for backyard. Ultimate goals: handgun, CHL, self defense classes, possible security camera setup. Right now, bed and a GOOD (slightly drugged) night's sleep is in order.]
I'm not okay. A couple weeks before oklacon, I had something odd happen to me. Home invasion style odd. I suppose the weight of that occurrence is now really hitting home. I couldn't sleep last night, with half-awake fantasies running through my head of faceless men creeping around my backyard; uttering soft whispers to make sure they weren't detected.
A single person invaded my territory, and while he took nothing from me, he gave me a very real fear. Somehow, before; I was comforted by the fact that my odd sleep schedule would keep me safe and aware, but now that no longer keeps me asleep through the night. After all, a person desperate enough to enter my household probably won't be dissuaded from such by a butcher knife. If anything, it might turn a simple breaking and entering plus thievery into something much darker, because in my lucid dreams, eventually; I always see them. They have faces that make them vulnerable and more susceptible to violence.
I'm not sure where.this fear comes from, but I can guess it's two most likely sources: fear of the unknown and fear of death. In the former, I'm afraid I won't be aware of the crime being committed, or that I will be awoken and disoriented by the sin in progress. I fear in some of these fantasies that the faceless men aren't coming for material gain. They are coming in their drug-addled logic simply to harm or scare, and that is the worst possible thing I could think of. In the latter fear, I think of being shot point blank in my sleep, never aware of the act but the seconds it might take to process 'I am dying and in pain,' if I'm even afforded that. Worse, even the possible emppowerment of knowing my enemy could even more result in my face gnawed off or my stomach being stabbed into.
The first step for me into conquering my fear is giving it a voice, so I write this journal to make it more real than my paranoid delusions. Make it more real and it is something that can be fought, because you can't fight the dreams buried in your subconscious. Now my faceless invaders exist, and to stop fearing them, I have to be able to thwart them. This is where I am now. It's not a good place to be. I want to make a positive conclusion, to end this on a good note, but as my first sentence says, I'm not okay. So, I'll end with:
To be continued.
[Edit: I've done some good long talking about this issue with a couple of friends and taken the next step to making myself feel more secure. Namely, the dryer now blocks my back laundry room door that is the weak point of this house. I'm feeling a little bit better with that knowledge. One step at a time. And the back porch lights left on constantly. VERY sensitive motion detecting annoying halloween noise thing on back porch. Feels good with just those small steps. Next step: motion sensor lights for the backporch pointed toward the backyard and solar decorative lights for backyard. Ultimate goals: handgun, CHL, self defense classes, possible security camera setup. Right now, bed and a GOOD (slightly drugged) night's sleep is in order.]
Comment for the funness
Posted 13 years agoBecause Skylor told me to. Wheee!
Comment on this journal and I'll...
1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you a color you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
4. Ask you a question
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Give you a nickname
7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me
8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal!
Comment on this journal and I'll...
1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you a color you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
4. Ask you a question
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Give you a nickname
7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me
8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal!
Weasyl Contest
Posted 13 years agoA contest for invites to Weasyl. Great opportunity for artists and commissioners alike!
Found through Skylor.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3882530/
Found through Skylor.
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3882530/
People I owe stuff to, PLEASE READ.
Posted 13 years agoSo, went to get my work on commissions done for this week to discover... GONE! Every sketch, every completed picture that needed to be mailed out. Everything. IS. GONE. Even my list of who was owed, addresses, how much people paid... everything. All fucking gone. And with that, the last shreds of my sanity. I had them in a nice little box downstairs, which has thusly VANISHED. I just don't think I can start over from scratch with all that work I've done.
So please, tell me how much I owe you and you will get a full refund. I will try to remember who is owed things, and will start sending money out as soon as I can.
Edit: I could probably do some things in digital and not go into a fit of tears if you still want artwork from me, but at this moment... I'm not going to be doing traditional for a long while. I'm going to request that you watch me do it. It will be done in one sitting so you have your artwork there and I know it's done.
So please, tell me how much I owe you and you will get a full refund. I will try to remember who is owed things, and will start sending money out as soon as I can.
Edit: I could probably do some things in digital and not go into a fit of tears if you still want artwork from me, but at this moment... I'm not going to be doing traditional for a long while. I'm going to request that you watch me do it. It will be done in one sitting so you have your artwork there and I know it's done.
What the hell, fetish/turn ons thingy
Posted 13 years agoHit me with your best shot! Ask me about what fetishes I like and I shall most certainly answer. This does seem fun, so hammer out some random stuff! My fetishes aren't publicly voiced usually, so this will be interesting.
Make sure to denote RL or fantasy please. There are plenty of things I can fantasize about, but would never do in RL.
Make sure to denote RL or fantasy please. There are plenty of things I can fantasize about, but would never do in RL.
What kind of crackhead asshole mofo steals fucking MARKERS?!
Posted 13 years agoSo.. my gurl and I were looking for a color in my box, one by the name of violet mist, which is the color she uses for her character. Nowhere to be found. I had taken an inventory of my colors right before the con just to check everything out, and had not taken inventory since then until now. Come to find out... five of my prismacolors were missing and several of Hilary's markers as well. Now... they could have gotten lost in the random shuffling of things, yes. But, seeing as this is the third con in a row this has happened at... I'm a little suspect that someone had sticky fingers.
Now granted, I had let my markers be borrowed by Hilary, and ONLY Hilary. And yes, I did leave them in the room because four out of five people were those I knew I could trust, and the fifth.. well, another vouched for him. There weren't, from what I know, that many people in and out of our room, so I'm inclined to believe these thefts happened while Hilary was enjoying her first time in the artist alley. And that.... just plain sucks.
As I mentioned... this has happened before. Every con I come away with a wee bit less of something, and that is really a shame. So here's my message to the fucking grabby hands assholes out there, and I hope to god one of you reads this and feels like shit. FUCK OFF! You cocksucking motherfucking dickhead sons of whores. Buy your own damn markers and back the fuck off of mine. Some of those colors, you can't GET at Texas Art Supply. I had to order them online and pay a ridiculous amount of money for them. Not only have you made me angry, but you've also made my friend feel sad, and I will CUT a bitch for that.
GRRRR! Okay... I'm over it. Thieves suck. Go on about your day now. *grumbles and goes to order MORE markers... again...*
Now granted, I had let my markers be borrowed by Hilary, and ONLY Hilary. And yes, I did leave them in the room because four out of five people were those I knew I could trust, and the fifth.. well, another vouched for him. There weren't, from what I know, that many people in and out of our room, so I'm inclined to believe these thefts happened while Hilary was enjoying her first time in the artist alley. And that.... just plain sucks.
As I mentioned... this has happened before. Every con I come away with a wee bit less of something, and that is really a shame. So here's my message to the fucking grabby hands assholes out there, and I hope to god one of you reads this and feels like shit. FUCK OFF! You cocksucking motherfucking dickhead sons of whores. Buy your own damn markers and back the fuck off of mine. Some of those colors, you can't GET at Texas Art Supply. I had to order them online and pay a ridiculous amount of money for them. Not only have you made me angry, but you've also made my friend feel sad, and I will CUT a bitch for that.
GRRRR! Okay... I'm over it. Thieves suck. Go on about your day now. *grumbles and goes to order MORE markers... again...*
Mr. Bunny, Granma, and Groundhog's day
Posted 14 years agoA few days from now, it will be Groundhog's day, a day that has bittersweet memories for me in particular and starts bringing up an odd well of emotions in me. It was my grandfather's birthday, after all, and he's been gone for such a long time that while the memories aren't fresh, and the images in my mind have faded, I still remember the timbre of his voice and the feel of my fingers on his sand-papery chin as I sat in his lap and watched a war special on the History channel with him. I can remember the smell of expensive pipe tobacco on his breath and how I loved to play with pipe cleaners as he meticulously cleaned his pipe. The black and white room upstairs was his solace from the world where old cardboard boxes held notes and designs from the days when he worked with Stoner Gas company and traveled the world like some mysterious explorer to places I couldn't yet fathom. He wasn't an easy man to get along with in his later years, as his body turned against him and his mood often soured, but never did he raise his voice to me even when I did something wrong. He would sigh, and resign himself to my bad behavior and speak in a soft voice, "Well... god damnit, Amber." Not out of anger, mind you, but simply as his odd way of concluding he was pacified by my pout and admittance of the truth I'd tried to hide, that I'd done wrong.
When he passed away, it was hard on my whole family, and because of my upbringing with a mother who was over emotional, a grandmother who held her emotions in, and a grandfather who would let them all out in bursts of anger, I responded by pushing my own agony aside and refused to cry over his death in front of them. I comforted my family with a calm and love that surprised them, but I never cried where they could see except for the day of his funeral. In a way, I saw it as my responsibility to be like my grandfather, and be a strong person in his place, to help those left behind and be their rock. It still is a cornerstone of my personality today that I will push my own feelings aside when people need me the most, and be what they need me to be to help them through the hard times. Be it a clown to cheer them up or a shoulder to cry on, I distinguish my worth in the role I play to helping those I care about.
Fast forward a year later, the sadness of my grandfather's death finally caught up with me around Easter when I thought to myself randomly one day, "I wish granpa was here." The haze I'd been in for months had finally cleared and I knew now, that I could mourn properly in my own way. My granma must have sensed my sadness, for not a few days later, she bought me this cute purple Easter bunny plushie I'd been eyeing at the store. At the time, I'd thought 'God I want that so badly, but I'm in High School. Plushies are for kids.' When she gave it to me, I cried outright and hugged her tight because it was so genuine a gesture on her part. It said 'I love you, and I'm here for you.', without ever a word being spoken between us. It was an inexpensive gift others might have scoffed at when some would have gotten jewelry or clothing, but to me, it was a treasure. Every year since, she or my friends have bought me a stuffed bunny as a symbol of their support given in return. When I've most wanted to give comfort to someone, but didn't know how, I in turn would buy them a stuffed bunny of their own, and tell them the story of my granpa, my granma, and Mr. Bunny.
That rabbit has been through hell and back from being locked in a moldy storage unit in the hot summers of West Virginia to knocked to the ground during sleep as well as being cried on many a time in the privacy of my own room. Once, it was lent to a friend of mine, Ryan, who sweetly slept with it to give it the lasting smell of him before he moved away so I would feel like he was still there long after he was gone. It seems odd, but I always felt close to Ryan because he shared my grandfather's birthday. When I started piercing my ears during High School, Mr. Bunny got his ears pierced as well with little pyramid studs, gems, and safety pins that have long since been removed save for two. Even now, though he's much dirtier and his fur isn't as soft, he's still there wedged between my sheets and the wall where he always ends up, ever ready to be pulled out and hugged like the dickens when the absence of a warm body beside me as I sleep is most palpable.
So I conclude this with some advice for my furry friends and hope you'll take my words to heart when I say: It is not the gift itself, but the meaning behind it that matters most.
When he passed away, it was hard on my whole family, and because of my upbringing with a mother who was over emotional, a grandmother who held her emotions in, and a grandfather who would let them all out in bursts of anger, I responded by pushing my own agony aside and refused to cry over his death in front of them. I comforted my family with a calm and love that surprised them, but I never cried where they could see except for the day of his funeral. In a way, I saw it as my responsibility to be like my grandfather, and be a strong person in his place, to help those left behind and be their rock. It still is a cornerstone of my personality today that I will push my own feelings aside when people need me the most, and be what they need me to be to help them through the hard times. Be it a clown to cheer them up or a shoulder to cry on, I distinguish my worth in the role I play to helping those I care about.
Fast forward a year later, the sadness of my grandfather's death finally caught up with me around Easter when I thought to myself randomly one day, "I wish granpa was here." The haze I'd been in for months had finally cleared and I knew now, that I could mourn properly in my own way. My granma must have sensed my sadness, for not a few days later, she bought me this cute purple Easter bunny plushie I'd been eyeing at the store. At the time, I'd thought 'God I want that so badly, but I'm in High School. Plushies are for kids.' When she gave it to me, I cried outright and hugged her tight because it was so genuine a gesture on her part. It said 'I love you, and I'm here for you.', without ever a word being spoken between us. It was an inexpensive gift others might have scoffed at when some would have gotten jewelry or clothing, but to me, it was a treasure. Every year since, she or my friends have bought me a stuffed bunny as a symbol of their support given in return. When I've most wanted to give comfort to someone, but didn't know how, I in turn would buy them a stuffed bunny of their own, and tell them the story of my granpa, my granma, and Mr. Bunny.
That rabbit has been through hell and back from being locked in a moldy storage unit in the hot summers of West Virginia to knocked to the ground during sleep as well as being cried on many a time in the privacy of my own room. Once, it was lent to a friend of mine, Ryan, who sweetly slept with it to give it the lasting smell of him before he moved away so I would feel like he was still there long after he was gone. It seems odd, but I always felt close to Ryan because he shared my grandfather's birthday. When I started piercing my ears during High School, Mr. Bunny got his ears pierced as well with little pyramid studs, gems, and safety pins that have long since been removed save for two. Even now, though he's much dirtier and his fur isn't as soft, he's still there wedged between my sheets and the wall where he always ends up, ever ready to be pulled out and hugged like the dickens when the absence of a warm body beside me as I sleep is most palpable.
So I conclude this with some advice for my furry friends and hope you'll take my words to heart when I say: It is not the gift itself, but the meaning behind it that matters most.
Badges/ Art updates. People I owe stuff to PLEASE READ!
Posted 14 years agoSo I'm finally feeling somewhat better about my life and the chaos contained therein just enough to begin minimizing the queue that I have at the moment. I know this is a bit strange, but I'm going to finish two badges for every major piece based off how long they've been in queue. Due to how fast they can be finished, I'd ask that any who would be comfortable with me doing digital badges or artwork instead of traditional to please contact me as soon as possible. Also, if you do not wish to wait, I'm happy to offer a refund if need be.
Updates pertaining to badges:
Shesta - colored, needs shading
Echo - shaded, minor details still needed
Morphy - Not begun
Kaiser - Not begun
Ashera - Not begun
Mattrex - Not begun
Sammiebelle - Not begun
Kaos - Not begun
Timmy - Not begun
Those set to be in between badges:
Zervon (largest priority due to time length.)
Mite - sketched.
Techtyger
Firemane and Newbie
Kaiden Firelytes
KPFoxPaw
Stargazer
Updates pertaining to badges:
Shesta - colored, needs shading
Echo - shaded, minor details still needed
Morphy - Not begun
Kaiser - Not begun
Ashera - Not begun
Mattrex - Not begun
Sammiebelle - Not begun
Kaos - Not begun
Timmy - Not begun
Those set to be in between badges:
Zervon (largest priority due to time length.)
Mite - sketched.
Techtyger
Firemane and Newbie
Kaiden Firelytes
KPFoxPaw
Stargazer
I've Gotta get this Cub/Loli/Shota issue out of my system
Posted 15 years agoI don't blame FA, first of all, for their new AUP rules that they have posted. Anyone reading this should realize that the admins of FA are trying to COVER THEIR LEGAL ASSES. The issue? Loli/shota has been banned on FA due to recent US and international laws upheld/ passed, one which involved a man with Lolicon manga being sentenced to jail time for 6 months. If you don't want to hear my side of the story, leave. Trolling will not be given any notice at all, so have fun!
On a side note. The AUP now does not want any underaged human or proto-human (Including nekos!) to be depicted in mature or sexual situations. GUYS! Please stop trying to get around the rule, and just accept it. If you have to ask whether this or that is acceptable, it PROBABLY isn't, or shouldn't be.
Now, my position of loli/shota/cub. I've seen it, don't like it, avoid it like the plague. Why? Because I'm too analytical for my own damn good. I look at a loli and don't go "I wanna fap" I go, "How did I feel at that age about sex?" "Was I really masturbating at age 5-9?" When I can answer said questions with, "I didn't know what it was", and, "No, I wasn't," Then I logically realize that I shouldn't be reading this because it is not viable, and therefore, in my mind, can be seen as child pornography based on my OWN judgement. So no, I don't fap, or the female version of fapping (slapping?), to loli/shota/cub.
That is NOT to say that I do not RESPECT said artists! I personally don't think it's right, but here is my stance. If you are a closet-pedophile (and not all loli/shota/cub fans are!), and you know that you can't look at pictures of little boys, and obviously do not want to actually diddle little boys, because you know it's WRONG, and you want to look at loli/shota/cub to healthily take care of that want, FUCKING GO TO TOWN!!! I would much rather this fetish or want be taken out in an unharmful way than have all those repressed sad people flood into the streets to steal my first born for humpage! It may still not be sexually normal to want to look at loli/shota/cub, but it's a lot more healthy than HAVING no other choice as an outlet, causing repression and rage that in the future might make someone take PHYSICAL action to satisfy that perceived need.
Now, onto the concept of underage sex in general. I look young. The max age I've ever been told I look has not been above my real age (24). The minimum age I've been told I look is 15 at the age of 24. How can I confirm this? I get carded, a lot, when I buy cigarettes, beer, anything. Every time I get carded, I ask the attendant to honestly tell me what age they believe me to be. So, to explain, I'm chubby, short, and have small breasts. The only feature that distinguishes me as an adult and not a child is my hips, and certain shirts hide them. I wear boy's skater shoes. I have long curly blond hair and big blue eyes. Does this mean that my boyfriend is a pedo?! NO! I may be in a line of grey, but I act my age.
Despite this, I think the whole pedophile thing shouldn't quite count for people of about 15 and over. Why? Well, I had sex at 15. I know MANY girls my same age who did. I started dating at 15, and being curious about boys and such at 15. By 18, that sexual experience list had gone up vastly. I do not believe I was completely mature enough to have sex at that age, but I knew what it was, how it was done, and I wanted to do it. I believe when you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to have sex is the age you should be considered sexually legal. This would be hard to judge, but just my personal opinion.
So, in conclusion, I'd rather you fap to cub than rape a kid, I'd like people to respect that some women just look child-like and that doesn't make someone a pedo, and that not all 15 year olds should be innocent until proven guilty.
On a side note. The AUP now does not want any underaged human or proto-human (Including nekos!) to be depicted in mature or sexual situations. GUYS! Please stop trying to get around the rule, and just accept it. If you have to ask whether this or that is acceptable, it PROBABLY isn't, or shouldn't be.
Now, my position of loli/shota/cub. I've seen it, don't like it, avoid it like the plague. Why? Because I'm too analytical for my own damn good. I look at a loli and don't go "I wanna fap" I go, "How did I feel at that age about sex?" "Was I really masturbating at age 5-9?" When I can answer said questions with, "I didn't know what it was", and, "No, I wasn't," Then I logically realize that I shouldn't be reading this because it is not viable, and therefore, in my mind, can be seen as child pornography based on my OWN judgement. So no, I don't fap, or the female version of fapping (slapping?), to loli/shota/cub.
That is NOT to say that I do not RESPECT said artists! I personally don't think it's right, but here is my stance. If you are a closet-pedophile (and not all loli/shota/cub fans are!), and you know that you can't look at pictures of little boys, and obviously do not want to actually diddle little boys, because you know it's WRONG, and you want to look at loli/shota/cub to healthily take care of that want, FUCKING GO TO TOWN!!! I would much rather this fetish or want be taken out in an unharmful way than have all those repressed sad people flood into the streets to steal my first born for humpage! It may still not be sexually normal to want to look at loli/shota/cub, but it's a lot more healthy than HAVING no other choice as an outlet, causing repression and rage that in the future might make someone take PHYSICAL action to satisfy that perceived need.
Now, onto the concept of underage sex in general. I look young. The max age I've ever been told I look has not been above my real age (24). The minimum age I've been told I look is 15 at the age of 24. How can I confirm this? I get carded, a lot, when I buy cigarettes, beer, anything. Every time I get carded, I ask the attendant to honestly tell me what age they believe me to be. So, to explain, I'm chubby, short, and have small breasts. The only feature that distinguishes me as an adult and not a child is my hips, and certain shirts hide them. I wear boy's skater shoes. I have long curly blond hair and big blue eyes. Does this mean that my boyfriend is a pedo?! NO! I may be in a line of grey, but I act my age.
Despite this, I think the whole pedophile thing shouldn't quite count for people of about 15 and over. Why? Well, I had sex at 15. I know MANY girls my same age who did. I started dating at 15, and being curious about boys and such at 15. By 18, that sexual experience list had gone up vastly. I do not believe I was completely mature enough to have sex at that age, but I knew what it was, how it was done, and I wanted to do it. I believe when you can decide for yourself whether or not you want to have sex is the age you should be considered sexually legal. This would be hard to judge, but just my personal opinion.
So, in conclusion, I'd rather you fap to cub than rape a kid, I'd like people to respect that some women just look child-like and that doesn't make someone a pedo, and that not all 15 year olds should be innocent until proven guilty.
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