Hello! I am finally in a state of relatively stable health. I've been gone for a long time, but I'm comfortable enough to say I'm back and properly alive.

However, I will be moving accounts for a clean start. :D

Feel free to follow : catjar

This has been a really, really bad year. I'm back, but so much has happened.

I've been in and out of the hospital, but I think I'm okay now. I hope. brlghgh

I'm actually alive and not dying anymore and recovering.

Everything will be finished this weekend and posted on monday, with compensation art to make up for the wait. Thank you for your patience.

From this point on I will only be doing one YCH at a time, and making a note in my commission stuff:

I am prone to illness and take a while to work on things, so please forgive my slowness.

Hello there watchers of Bori!
I'm currently posting on their behalf (with permission from them!) to post this journal.

Bori apologizes for the delay in commissions. They've been very sick and in and out of the ER lately which explains their silence. On top of that their tablet pen has been practically shattered. It's really unfortunate, and I am even hoping for their recovery. :(

Thank you all for the patience!

Had a medical emergency which ended in the ER, finally left a severely abusive relationship, and am going in for a neuropsych eval soon.

BPD confirmed though lmfao.

Anyways, back from medical emergencies and finishing YCHs. Thank you for your patience.

YCH will be done ASAP.

Currently getting ready for a big psych appointment to get an on paper diagnosis for three disorders that are completely destroying my life and finding recommendations for therapy to help deal with them.

wish me luck. im really nervous.

I'm giving it an hour, since I just got online.

Bids in the last five minutes will not be accepted. ;V

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Commissions: Open
Commission info here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6295570/

A reminder that I have two (about to be three as I'm typing this) YCHs up!!!!

One is a flatsale and will go until someone purchases, the other is an auction and will end tomorrow.

The auction: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15190097 (Cumshot)

Second auction: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15193150/ (Micro/Macro vore with dragon)

The flatsale: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15190225/ (Solo character riding a dildo, taking it anally)

\o/ If you can't afford, please spread the word or link to people who might be interested. All money goes to a trip to see my boyfriend which i desperately need for mental health reasons.

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Commission status: Open
Commission info: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6295570/

I'm reopening commissions now that I have my life sorted, and my commissions on here out of the way! I'm going to be revamping my price sheet, and until I do, I will have this journal for commission info. :)
I am making changes out of the need for income, increase in skill and size, and making amends for personal convenience.

You can still use my price sheet for examples of the art, however.

I'm currently saving up to go see my boyfriend in feb, for a much needed mental break, so everything counts and if you can't buy, I would love if you could spread the word that I'm open!!

I will have slots for certain types of commissions, but some will have unlimited slots, so make sure to hurry if you want a particular kind of picture.

First, the prices. These are for a picture with one single character.

Sketch: $25
Lineart: $35
Flat Colour: $45
Full Colour: $55

+1 additional character: $10
+Background: $20
+Complexity(if your character has a lot of colors/patterns/parts): $5-$20 depending on complexity (IE: intricate stripes would not cost as much as say, a lot of mechanical parts.)

You can ask for three revisions for free in the sketch stage, but after that it will be $5 per revision. This is to compensate for my time and effort. If you ask for a revision when I'm done with the picture, I will charge you $20 dollars since its extremely difficult going back to fix things you already gave the okay on before.

Default canvas will be 1000x1000, if you want it bigger it will be an additional $5. Over 2000x2000, it will be $20

If you want the art private and not posted publicly, I will need to add $5 since posting my art helps promote my commissions and art to the community and I'm losing potential customers by not posting it.

I will take 50% before the commission starts, and then 50% after it is completed.

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Examples of art:
Sketch:
http://i.imgur.com/qEHpGyp.png (nsfw)
http://i.imgur.com/0Ksb0bJ.png (body horror)
http://i.imgur.com/QhhqDdu.png (nsfw)
http://i.imgur.com/g5ULoYJ.png (nsfw)

Lineart:
http://i.imgur.com/4Z2cpng.png
http://i.imgur.com/iFwkFWv.png
http://i.imgur.com/uY3rbuK.png (nsfw)
http://i.imgur.com/dvJAlpN.png (nsfwish)

Flat colour:
http://i.imgur.com/EDsRFBl.png
http://i.imgur.com/iFhm6yZ.png
http://i.imgur.com/Pi5E6li.png

Full colour:
http://i.imgur.com/xQ7TVJq.png
http://i.imgur.com/qbJfDQw.png (Vomit)
http://i.imgur.com/t4zeYXC.png
http://i.imgur.com/PD28ARU.png


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Onward from pricing and examples, are things I am particularly good at/fond of, and things I am not very good at, and things I will not draw.


Things I'm good at drawing
Any species of furry! Doesn't matter what species, I like to think I'm good at it
Oral vore
Guro
Watersports
Vomit
Weight gain/fat bellies/chub/inflation(food, air, cum)
Sex(of all kinds!)
Dragons
Specific, niche fetishes
Exotic anatomy
Horror
Micro/Macro
Ageplay
Consensual somnophilia

Things I'm not super good at but I am willing to try
Scat
Muscle inflation
Machinery/Mechanical stuff (includes guns and such)
Vore with any other orifice
Farting
Exaggerated anatomy(balls, breasts, etc.)

Things I will not do
MLP porn
Shota/toddlercon
Pregnancy Snuff
Rape/Noncon/Dubcon/Sexual Assault/sexual torture/ANYTHING like that dont even ask me, i will not do it
Anything racist/distasteful
Anything with real people that haven't given consent to the art

If you don't see something you want on here, please drop me a line and I'll let you know if I am willing to try! I'm always willing to work something out, as long as it doesn't fall under my 'no' list.

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Important information

1. Sometimes I can be a little slow at working, but I will always keep you updated. You are free to add me on skype, or follow my twitter and message me regularly for updates on the progress. I will send you updates in each stage. Patience is important, though. I will always get it done, though, Duel Monster's honor!

2. If you are getting art of another person's character, please make sure you have PERMISSION. I will not do art unless there is explicit permission. If it's a surprise, please find a way to show that they are alright with gift art or their character being used. I'm not comfortable with drawing things without permission.

3. PLEASE give me detailed references and/or descriptions of what you want. I am not a mind reader. If you just want to see where I take things, I will be more than happy to go with that. I really do love being given free reign over a picture, but if you want something specific or a specific character, I need details.

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Slots!

The number of slots will be displayed next to the type of commission. You may not claim a slot without being redy to commission. You must be ready to pay and give me the details. You may, however, claim as many slots as you want as long as you are ready to pay and give me the commission info.

Sketch slots (Unlimited):
There are no sketch commissions yet!

Lineart slots (0/5):
There are no lineart commissions yet!

Flat colour slots (0/3):
There are no flat colour commissions yet!

Full colour slots (0/3):
There are no full colour commissions yet!

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Comment here or drop me a note, we can discuss commissioning! Its first come, first serve, so hurry up. \o/

These last few months have been extremely difficult for me. I've been more active on tumblr and twitter, talking about it, and trying to take it easy, but things have not presented themselves as easy. I feel like talking about them and being open will help me start to move on. (Warning for self harm, suicide mentions, overdosing, and depression subjects.)

I also feel the need to explain what has been going on because I have been so inactive here lately.

I have not talked about it much here, but I have been struggling very hard with bipolar disorder and other handicaps that have been making things more difficult than they needed to be. I have been coping with PTSD from traumatic events that I will never be able to forget. Memories have been vivid, the lows have been as low as they have ever been, and I had not taken my medications for months on end. I've been struggling with body image issues, eating disorders and general unhealthiness and contempt for my well being.

All of this lead to a couple breakdowns.

Sometime during these past two months, I tried to kill myself by overdosing on pills I had saved up while I hadn't been taking them. I said goodbye to my mother on the phone, but she didn't know I had taken my pills. Nobody but people online knew I had been planning this. I had been struggling with self harm for so long, but at that point I didn't want to be alive anymore and tried. But still, I woke up the next morning and was hurting and feeling exhausted. I felt sick, I didn't take nearly enough, not even enough to throw up and I was left feeling groggy and upset with myself.

I told my father and I was put on watch for a while, but nothing really happened. I didn't seek help. I continued to get worse and worse, and started hurting myself more and more, and got more and more bold. I started making sure I was bleeding by the end of the night and I couldn't find it in myself to care about myself.

I don't know what happened, though. I finally just said enough is enough this past month after another episode of wanting to die so desperately, I thought I was really going to do it. I said I couldn't deal with it anymore.

I made multiple appointments, and now I am seeing a therapist regularly. I am back on my medication every day, and it is helping me. I am still struggling, especially with the memories of what happened to me before, but things are getting easier. I am congratulating myself for the little things and taking things a few steps at a time. I am setting small goals to work towards every day and trying to find a place for myself in the world.

Things are still so difficult. Sunday, I had a horrible relapse into a depressive state and hurt myself again, but its ok. I'm doing my best. I'm trying hard to remember to eat and drink water, I'm trying so hard to make sure I'm not damaging myself in so many ways.

I think I'm going to be okay. Thinks are super hard, but I am doing ok. I have accomplished a lot this past week by being regular with what I need to do, by saying good things about myself. I am going to be ok.

I am going to be ok and work hard and keep trying my best.

I'm so sorry I've been so inactive, I'm so sorry I've been so unreliable, I'm so sorry for everything. I am going to work so much harder every day to do what I need to do, and get better. I'm so sorry my problems have come up in the way of everything and kept me away from here.

I'm going to get better though. I can do this.

:> Working on commissions in order. Almost done with first set, then will proceed to other two, and then my FA commission backlog will be clear and I will be open again.

(and lucky for u all, i am now practicing other fetishes such as stuffing/inflation and watersports/omo :V )

I am currently in the kind-of-alright state of Georgia.

My laptop has officially been replaced. The new laptop is named Junta and I am transferring all things over to him. :> So you know, progress is being made on things. <3

Love and kisses!!

They have commissions open and u should go check them out, ok? Ok.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5892063/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5892063/

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5892063/

Somebody was tampering with my laptop, cracked the case, broke a seal and voided warranty and lost some screws. Not very happy about this. Saving up money to get a new one. :S

If you want to help, would love. Don't feel obligated since I can't offer anything in return while I still have art to work on.

Will be slow working on commissions as my laptop is having problems handling big detailed things.

Thanks, apologies for slowness.

It is 4am, I haven't slept and I'm working on commissions. 'Y' colouring backgrounds is tedious but it is looking really good so far!!!! I'll finally be done with this tomorrow, hopefully fuahahaha.


Can't wait to open up commissions again when I finish some of my work load. Gotta love having things to do. ^Y^

people acting like feminism is a bad thing im just




please stop

I actually will put a hold on accepting commissions for now. @w@; so I guess I'm saying I'm closed for now until I'm done with a bit more of my current work load. Apologies for inconveniences, and also any delays.

Back to work on commissions tomorrow.

Taken a few days for mental health recovery and feeling a little better. Still absolutely exhausted, but not feeling so in danger anymore.

Updated commission chart so there isn't ambiguity and issues like before, and based on learning how other artists price their art for certain things.

Sorry for any inconveniences/complaints this might cause.

To be honest, I'm still learning to care about myself.

I've been struggling with self-esteem and body issues and my own artistic worth for a while. It took me a while to get the confidence to actually charge higher for my art and it felt good that people would pay for it.

But I sometimes deal with people asking to go lower and then I worry that my time, effort and talents aren't worth what I'm charging. I'm trying to find value in my talents, I'm trying to make a living with my art and get by, but its really hard when I worry that I'm asking for too much.


I want to think my time is worth it, that my artistic skills are worth it. I want to sell my art, make other people happy, but also be able to pay my phone bills and go to the grocery store.


I feel really depressed about this, and sometimes I worry I'll never sell another piece of art in between commissions. I don't like to haggle...I want to be able to know my art is worth what I say it is...

Last night was really difficult emotionally and its a miracle i woke up alive, tbh. I might be contacting friends to supervise me so I don't try to pull a stunt like that again, but at the same time I really dont want to.

I'd like to apologize for no progress on artwork last night. I was making selfish choices that really shouldn't have been made, but I'll keep working hard today.

im terible i just need money for more judai merch sobs

Is anyone interested in quick doodle commissions? $10 dollars a sketch/doodle, whatever u want. B)

Wipes forehead...almost done with all current commissions! Feeling very pleased. Even as I work, I continue to keep commissions open, and encourage them. Just send me a message if you are ever interested.

Phantomfullforce - Full Colour + Shading
Commission one: 100% complete, waiting for approval to post
Commission two: 20% done, Final sketch finished, moving to lineart

Mist - Full Colour + Shading
40% done, Lineart complete, moving to flat colouring

Maddy - Flat Colour
80% done, moving to flat colouring

Esper - Full Colour + Shading
20% done, Final sketch finished, moving to lineart

Will I ever manage to get a picture of judai pissing on me?

??
?
????



??
?

PROBABLY NOT? Do i have to draw this stuff myself smfh

ANSWER: Barely.

I've fallen in love with a fictional character and it is literally destroying me.