I want to be a bat,
To feel the night’s breeze caress my form
As I stop to alight on a mirror’s surface.

The moon in her brightness:
Rippling, splitting from stillness torn
In a puddle caressed by wings with purpose

Gentle, wayfarer’s soul.
Were I to join you, my humanity shorn
I’d be free of doubts and doubtless reborn.

Hey so I realized a lot changes with my OCs from one year to the next.
Like I’m eternally restless. With that in mind:
These are the characters I’m focusing on these days…

Eshe (deer)
> trans fem, she/her
> main sona, forest witch
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/52503400/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47623104/

Eshe (yinglet)
> trans fem, she/her
> secondary sona, licensed gremlin
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51986994

Alee (some sort of fish monster)
> been working on this character in my head for a while
> she’ll be an outlet for certain NSFW moods :3
More on her later…

Neph (puffin)
> trans masc, enby, any pronouns
> pastel gamer femboy and mall addict
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51466025/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32773865/

Lux (dragon, wyvern)
> trans, enby, any pronouns
> reclusive scholar of enchanted artifacts
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/37352633/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51684089/

Aka Thee Oh Sees II: Rainbow Edition

[descriptions coming soon? …maaaaybe?]



My fursonas:

Romy (whitetail dear)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45550357/

Neph (puffin)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/32773865/



Main characters:

Sidsel [Cecil] (bat)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/34220668/

Lux (lil dragon, sometimes shark)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21558313/

Tilde (rat)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22778511/

Ephrem (monster fish)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44845614/

Tallulah [Lu] (frog)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/20255879/



Other characters:

Percival (beaver)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/20055658/

Remy (camel)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/22331507/

Lurlun (squirrel)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/21772478/

Orna (shark)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/20506148/

Hello to anyone reading this.
I hope you are doing well in spite of everything going on in the world right now.

This past year was a time of major self-reflection, a time for finally coming to terms with aspects of my identity I had repressed and kept hidden away for so long. The results feel surprisingly good. Dare I say for the first time in quite a while, I feel like my sense of self is better sorted and not just a bundle of conflicting desires. It feels like I’m… well, me.

Along those lines of self discovery, I feel like I finally have a fursona that resonates with me on multiple levels. Going forward I’m gonna be a whitetail deer. Working on designs and trying to line up some commissions for actually getting him out there in 2022.

So yeah! Hi! I’mma durr.

As an aside: my two most popular OCs—Lux the dragon and Tilde the rat—were both attempts at making a fursona that didn’t quite work out ultimately. I still adore them and plan to continue getting art of them. Of the current menagerie however I feel Neph the puffin still fits me well, and I’m definitely going to keep him as a secondary ‘sona.

It’s been a long time since I played D1 (year one basically). I wanna get back into Destiny. Would like to meet some cool folks for going on raids and whatnot.

Any Destiny (1 and / or 2) players out there visiting my page? What platform do you use?

Hello there! I’m a complete Destiny noob, so I’m looking for chill ppl to help me improve and do Raids and whatnot. PC or PS4 versions plz.

Same with any Apex Legends players: if you’d like to join our crew on PC or PS4, drop me a line sometime, clementine.

Hey there. Hope you’re doing well.

On this end, my desire to post had basically waned over the course of last year, and in general I’d say that corresponded to my overall declining interest in furry stuff.

A large part of this was burnout over an obsession with “getting my OCs just right.” Whenever I’d post a commission of a newer, revised version of one of ‘em, it was never very long before I’d feel dissatisfied again. Not with any of the amazing artists who were gracious enough to work with me, mind you; rather it was disappointment in my own ideas. Decided to just chill for a while.

Over the last week or so, I think I’ve arrived at a better place. I can feel some rekindling of that passion for seeing my ideas interpreted by artistically inclined friends. Decided to stick to the basics: giving “classic” characters of mine a bit of a refresh. Hope you’re into that.



Basement Dweller’s Addendum:

If any of you like playing Apex Legends or Quake Champions, hit me up sometime.

There are so many amazing artists on this site, and I’ve made some truly incredible friendships and found some folks who seem to “get me” or vibe to the same stuff at least. I commission and explore, see things I’ve missed when my ideas are reinterpreted though the lenses of others.

Yet sometimes I just look over my assorted characters after some time and think “bleh.” Is that it? These are my OCs? No matter how well they are drawn or interpreted, at the end of the idea it’s my brain juice bubbling away in the cauldron. The end result sometimes shows me that my vision wasn’t quite as grand as I once thought. Or at the very least: that I’m not yet adept enough at conveyance.

Years of work and money for creative experimentation via proxy.
I’m still not quite where I wanna be.
Getting there, but there is still a ways to be.

It can be frustrating and disheartening.
But getting to talk to artists and visionaries along the way is a privledge.
Certainly, the words of encouragement have been a great help as well.
So yes: thank you to everyone I’ve commissioned, everyone who has ever left words of support, and everyone who just lurks and enjoys the stuff I post for whatever reason.

My gallery is pure self indulgence (or it will be at some point, momentarily). If someone else enjoys it or discovers a new artist through it, then all the better.



On that note:

I keep trying to make my OCs better. More along the lines of what I *want.*
Many characters have come and gone, fallen by the wayside. Usually for the best.

For now I’m concentrating on my four most recognizable dorks, giving them a fresh coat of paint, reworking their stories and relationships a bit. There’s a rather old character too that will be making a reappearance, albeit under an entirely different guise. She still has some of her old features. She still answers to her old name. She just happens to be a bat now? I like bats.



Lastly:

From time to time, I keep saying this or that character is a “sona” or whatever. But really most of them aren’t. Not in a proper sense. I’d say some of them are more akin to account mascots?

Is that a thing?

So yeah, I’m back at it again: trying to come up with a *proper* avatar for myself. Most of these attempts end in failure, and the resulting creation—kicking, screaming, having never asked to be born into such a cruel fate—gets filed away in the virtua scrap heap for all eternity. Such a terrible thought.

Well no more.

I want to get this sona business right for once!

<note to future self>
Redesigning my characters. Some a little, some a lot.



Tilde: Navy blue pompadour
Neph: From a twink to a twunk
Lux: Back to being a shark, but a totally different looking one
Tallulah: Puce skin, black hair


Then there’s Sidsel, a really old one-off nobody remembers. Total recall.

These days, when a glance at your phone tells you what you wanna know, watch-wearing seems to be fading more and more into obscurity. Save for those perhaps who just wanna show off their diamonds.

I love watches. Especially mechanical ones.
Diver watches in particular hold some kind of power over me.
So yeah, another long shot: anyone reading this into watches / watch collecting?

This nice fellow on my latest surgical team wore a Rolex Sea Dweller (not sure if it was the Deep Sea version). He told me his story about acquiring it, and thinking about such things helped me pass the the hours with their glacial pace.

I’ve considered a Rolex for a while. I’m leaning toward the Submariner “Hulk,” but the rerelease of the GMT II Batman and the new Rootbeer make it kinda hard to decide. Then there’s the Omega Speedmaster moon watches which make a nice ‘my first spenso watch.’

Here’s a really nice explanation of the rise in luxury watches:

https://youtu.be/M8sQPstJRqA

Those two—the AP Royal Oak and Patek Philippe Nautilus— also happen to be tied for my all time favorite watch. Just kinda lame I won’t be able to afford them until I’m like, some famous hypeman or sexual roleplay costume and props CEO.

Those watches are *so* dreamy.

I might take a vacay in Portland, OR soon.
If I'm in your area, we should vape some Orange Cookies and listen to island music.


Also uh... TMI Saturday? Feel free to ask me whatever.
Like why I'm so lame.

To all those who watch me for some reason and aren't already friends of mine: wanna chat it up sometime? I got a bag of quarters. We can hang out at the arcade and then hit up the food court. Maybe make some ritual sigils in ketchup on the tables and summon mall ghosts.

Edit: to clarify I meant online communication. The above stuff about arcades and food courts was for whimsical illustrative purposes only lmao.

....to 1,000 watchers.

Which, to me, seems totally unreal.
Many thanks to you all.

http://youtu.be/XeGzwCrNAEc
http://youtu.be/XeGzwCrNAEc
http://youtu.be/XeGzwCrNAEc

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7797101/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7797101/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7797101/

....When you send someone you admire a note asking if they'd like to chat sometime, and you don't get a reply back. ;-;

So...

This past week, I got so many new watchers and comments from commissions I posted. It was great. Now that's all gone.

Hope some of you newer subscribers from this past week remember lil ol me....

Don't forget folks: BANDCAMP is one of the best ways to check out obscure music.

Here's my own collection: https://bandcamp.com/hauntedhymns



...
Un-semirelated, but damn I want to rock this set:
http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/01.....g?v=1455731422

Lotta dope ass music on the horizon, you feel me?



Aesop Rock - The Impossible Kid
Antwon - Double Ecstasy EP
Arca - Reverie
Bat for Lashes - The Bride
Black Mountain - IV
The Body - No One Deserves Happiness
The Body + Full of Hell - One Day You Will Ache Like I Ache
BORIS w/ Merzbow - Gensho
Brian Eno - The Ship
Chromatics - Dear Tommy
Cobalt - Slow Forever
Com Truise - Silicone Tare
Crystal Castles - ???
Dalek - Asphalt for Eden
Death Grips - Bottomless Pit
Explosions in the Sky - The Wilderness
The Field - The Follower
Frank Ocean - Boys Don't Cry
Glass Candy - Body Work
Grave Miasma - Endless Pilgrimage
GREENMACHiNE - For the Night and Blood EP
James Blake - Radio Silence
John Carpenter's Lost Themes II
Julianna Barwick - Will
Kanye West - Turbo Grafx 16 (which is hopefully better than Pablo.. *cough*)
Kvelertak - Nattesferd
LCD Soundsystem - ???
Lupe Fiasco Trilogy
M83 - Junk
Marissa Nadler - The Strangers
Melvins - Basses Loaded
M.I.A. - Matahdatah
Mogwai - Atomic
Nothing - Tired of Tomorrow
Pantha du Prince - The Triad
Parquet Courts - Human Performance
Radiohead - ??? ....?????????
Rotten Sound - Abuse to Suffer
Run the Jewels 3
Symmetry - Still Life
Tegan and Sara - Love You To Death
Tim Hecker - Love Streams
Tombs - All Empires
Woods - City Sun Eater In the River of Light

Spent a week from hell in the hospital. Had the cancer removed from the side my face, which involved a lot of fancy reconstruction (like taking bone from my leg to replace part of my jaw). Still can't close my mouth. Drool city.

Only started walking around w/o a walker today. Little victories.

Still have some weeks of recovery left, but hopefully I'll be able to eat soon w/o having to be tube fed. The things I'd do for a pepperoni pizza right now...

Last month I was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer.
Thankfully it's only in one location for now.

However I'm in extreme pain, and I've been running around for the last few weeks going to more doctor appointments back-to-back than I thought possible.

Because of this, I decided to step down here on FA as owner of the sharks-of-FA group. Plus I'm just not really feeling the whole shark thing right now.

I'm fighting this, and I'm staying optimistic.
I've got surgery / radiation / chemo coming up... so wish me luck!

Some pretty significant changes have been going on in life, so I feel like a fresh start.

Lux is gonna be a frog guy now.
http://www.furaffinity.net/full/17486837/

At least, for a while.
Plus Sharky Lux'll still be there in the background.

Albums I'm hyped for:


Aphex Twin - Orphaned Deejay Selek 2006-2008
Battles - La Di Da Di
Beach House - Depression Cherry
Black Dog - Neither / Neither
Deafheaven - New Burmuda
Deerhunter - Fading Frontier
Destroyer - Poison Season
Donnacha Costello - Stay Perfectly Still
Ghost BC - Meliora
James Blake - Radio Silence
Joanna Newsom - Divers
Kanye West - Swish
Krallice - Ygg huur
Kurt Vile - B'lieve I'm Goin Down
Low - Ones and Sixes
Natural Snow Buildings - Terror's Horns
Neon Indian - VEGA INTL. Night School
Oneohtrix Point Never - Garden of Delete
Pentagram - Curious Volume
Uncle Acid & The Deadbeats - Night Creeper
Yo La Tengo - Stuff Like That There


Yeah, I listen to a lot of poser shit haha. Bite me.

There's been so much amazing music this year, it's nuts. I don't think anything forthcoming will live up to what has already come thus far, but hey, y'never know.

Yeah. Wednesday. Deal with it.





...Perhaps by asking me embarrassing personal questions! Now's your chance.
TMI style, legit.

Alright... let's try another one of these!

Ask me whatever. It could be a general question or something intensely personal. Whatevs.