Yeeeeahhhh, I'm still on that OTHER site, but like many furs I'm slowly transitioning to BlueSky!

Find me here:
https://bsky.app/profile/caudlewag.bsky.social

Aibu has his own account here:
https://bsky.app/profile/aibusjournal.bsky.social

NynTheWolf on Tweeted out this afternoon that  spottedsqueak has passed away.

I...don't know what to say, he was someone I felt open with, close to, and he's gone so suddenly...

My thoughts go out to his family.

You will be dearlty missed, my friend.


That's all I can sum up to say at the moment, just...ow.

I am now older!

I'm just glad to be here this birthday, I have so much to be thankful for and so many wonderful friends who have stuck with me through my darkest hour.

Thank you all so much for just being there.

Onwards to bright futures.

I am now older!

I'm just glad to be here this birthday, I have so much to be thankful for and so many wonderful friends who have stuck with me through my darkest hour.

Thank you all so much for just being there.

Onwards to bright futures.

Hello! It's my birthday on the 9th of July, and my first birthday after a horrendously terrible 2023. I just want to thank you all for sticking with me through one of the hardest years of my life, I appreciate and love this fandom so much, and I'm so thankful to still be here.

One of the best ways to celebrate my birthday if inclined, is to go leave a comment on your favorite work of mine! I've been making audios for 9-ish years now, and after 150+ of them, it's nice to be reminded of people's favorites!

I also have a wishlist a friend is suggesting I link around, so if you're inclined you can peruses that as well!
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/.....?ref_=wl_share

In anycase, I think this'll be a quiet, contemplative birthday, and once again I thank you all so, SO much for just being there.

For a while I posted on Twitter more than I did here? And it left a lot of art outside the gallery, like...2-3 years worth, so I've rectified that since Twitter (I will never call it X) is getting a bit...shakey

Enjoy the uploads! Comments appreciated

I hit the big 30! A new high score in life's game, and I want to take just a second to thank all of you for supporting me, I had a bad mental health ride in the start of 2023, and for a hot minute it looked like I wouldn't make it to this birthday, but my support system works, and the fandom was there to catch me when I needed it.

Thank you all so much, I won't belay the point, but thanks for your love, your care, and your presence in my life, the fandom is my home and I won't be leaving it any time soon.

Because of everything below stickers will now be shipping on the 15th, sorry for the delay, anyway ONWARDS *AHEM*

SO

I had a bit of a mental breakdown at the end of May. I've always had sleep issues and they got so bad that I was sleeping like 3 hours every two days. This, and my depression led to a suicide scare. A few months after the scare things came to a head on the 23rd (I think? )

It got so bad, that I got put on a 10-13 medical hold and was put in a facility for 12 days after professionals were called.

I'm on an outpatient program now with new medication.

THAT BEING SAID

I turn 30 in July, and I never want to feel the way I felt during all this again. I have so many friends I was short and waspish too while I was in the middle of my psychotic break, I yelled out a lot of stuff I shouldn't have and to be honest my memory of the day is maybe 30% as I was sleep deprived, depressed and angry at the world at large.

I want to heal now, I desperately do, and I want to heal particularly with those who have commissioned me and not gotten a response. I've been spinning in my hamster wheel for too long and I honestly need to lighten my load. I've called for folks asking for refunds, or restructuring for a while and I mean it.

If you want a refund, I can't do it today, but let me know if you want one and you will get one. If you're happy to continue waiting, thank you, I will finish what's still on the list, but my life flasehd before my eyes and how much of my life is comissioner anxiety is insane. I love my work, I love making things for you guys but I REALLY need to clean my sheet.

If you have any animosity with me, or just want to hash out what we're going to do next if I owe you a project, please emai:

Dossierdeliverydog[at]gmail.com

I want to heal, and more than that I want to be free in my 30s. I've had a financial ball and chain around my ankles for years and I want it to stop, and I want to do right by the people who payed me in hopes of work, i"ve let too much fall by the wayside, and I want to stop doing that, PLEASE hit me up if I have ever wronged you in any way, if you're willing to talk it out I'm willing to listen)

I'm going to keep this short and sweet:

I'm on vacation! I've needed it for a long time, I just need space to figure out how to better use my creative abilities to help the fandom, without tangling myself up in capitalistic nonsense like a sea turtle who has just found a cool can holder.

I'm taking time, I'm not working, I'm thinking, meditating, and so greatful.

I will be on vacation until the 20th I have decided, and when I get back everyone's getting emails, DM me about how that will work if I owe you something.

In the mean time, if you agree I need to take time to relax, please use my tip jar, even five dollars helps right now I am not kidding, I have been in a state of mental crisis for about two weeks:
https://ko-fi.com/caudle

I have money to take care of myself mind you, but what that tip jar is for is 'Oh okay you can order food instead of going to the shop to get it while you're mentally convalescing.

SO

2021 was a lot, had deaths and covid (I got covid for a bit) the usual! I also think I overburdened myself towards the end as I'm wont to do, but having come out the other side of it, I feel a lot better than I did when I was in the thick of it. There'll be another valley sometime, but for now I'm feeling pretty good!

I think part of that is thanks to the patience and kindness of the fandom. On the note of commissions, I am still working through my queue, but even folks who wanted refunds when I closed for my mental health were willing to work with me, give me time to gather funds, or switch to smaller projects, and that is SO appreciated oh my goodness. I did not get as much done on that front as I wanted in 2021, I cleared a few old projects, but not as much as I wanted, and it's been a long wait, so for anyone who wants a refund, they are still on offer, if you let me have a week or two I can pay back most things without taking a real hit myself, so that option remains open.

I have a few audio projects on commission that I'd really like to get done probably towards March (February is insane for me), but I've learned about myself over time, and the fact of the matter is my brain just works on what it wants to work on, and I can kinda steer it, but working on commission really has only ever worked well for me with EXTREMELY patient people who were willing to wait until my muse blew in their direction, and...let's face it...it's 2021, ain't nobody here for that (Or at least most people aren't, that's not how a business runs.)

I think that's the main thing I've realized, I can run a small business off of things I make because I want to, releasing when they're done, but I don't think I'm built for the commission business outside of small Twitter Threads and occasional stories when the mood is high. I think, if I ever open commissions again, that's how I'll do it, 'If you want me to do this, you must understand I am *not* fast, and *not all that stable*, and the queue will be so small gnats will trip over it.

Anyway I've rambled enough, I am actually looking forwards to combing through the last few items on my queue, but I cannot promise speed. My mental health has been better since I started making more of the things I wanted the way I wanted, and I'm so thankful the fandom let me flounder this much before I figured that properly out.

Just like...man, I get the feeling there are a lot of young artists in a bit of 'Project debt' trying to create their way through college (That's kinda what happened with me, when you're poor, sometimes you make too many commitments in order to eat etc). Not all of them get this sort of kindness as they come out of a lot of old nonsense and into being a new person.

Anyway, happy new year, I hope whether you follow me for stories, audios, art, or just because you clicked the button and never fixed it, that I bring you some small modicum of joy in the day to day. I feel a groundswell of energy under me, that usually means a...small bit of mania if I'm honest? I tend to have big creative outbursts for a few weeks then vanish into a hole. I think one of the big creative periods is approaching to fend off winter, and I hope we have so, so much fun together as I finish these owed projects, try a bunch of new things, and see where the wind takes me!

In anycase, my notes are open, and my mind feels clearer. Sorry if I was quiet for a while, its kind of just the ebb and flow of my brain, but I think I'm becoming okay with that, and slowly trying to stop squeezing myself into a framework doesn't fit. Just gonna ride the tide!

Much love,

- Caudle

I feel such a breath of fresh air, relaxed! No worries about freelancing finances for just a few days while I hang out with some friends. Looming bills have been paid, and the looming cloud over this outing has been thoroughly removed!

I will be sending out thank you messages the moment I get home, each one with be personalized and will gush a BUNCH about how lovely this fandom is, and how happy I am to be in a community that supports its creators when they're in need. To my friends, my listeners, and just enjoyers of my presence, THANK YOU, it's been a rough year, but with this trip letting me decompress, and all of your kindness, I feel things are on a lovely upswing.

Thank you all so much <3.

Not gonna lie, I've straight up been stressed as fudge for like four months, and I've been playing catch-up with bills since my aunt died in July. Currently I'm out of town because I needed a break, or I was gonna run myself ragged, and I was hoping the new merch in the store would cover this rest period, but it's really not and I'm stressing myself into a black hole when I should be relaxing so I don't shorten my overall lifespan.

Anything helps, after this year it would be so nice to truly relax for five minutes...

https://ko-fi.com/caudle

Hello!

https://www.patreon.com/Caudle

We made it to December the year's almost over! I'm not gonna lie to ya'll its been a rough one, and as such, a few changes! Let's start with Patreon

First and foremost, I want to be able to thank all of you for supporting me with every audio I make SO, now all $5+ patrons will appear in a credits reel I'll begin putting at the end of audios. YOU CAN OPT OUT OF THIS or give me a pseudonym if you prefer, just message me.



Other than that the other big change is to the $50 tier, I used to do general small audios for this tier, but trying to do that has made me fall behind RATHER BADLY, and it's great for my mental health, thus these audios will now be limited to featuring Oreo or Sage, as I voice both characters and will better be able to provide those rewards. If you're waiting on an audio outside that range, then it'll still be done! I'm just going to kinda limit that workload going forwards.

General Commission Updates

Other than that, I'm attempting to wrap up a few more commissions as I've also fallen by the wayside there with the roughness of the year. I had a dog pass, and lost a loved one in the span of three months in the middle of 2020 whilst I already wasn't doing too hot. I feel like I just got out of that sort of mindset and mental space, and I'm going to start being kinder to myself in finding a work-life balance. The open offer for refunds is still wide open to anyone who wants one though I dearly appreciate everyone's patience with me as I find that balance! I said in the previous journal after Geo's death that I would try to have commissions done by end of year, I think I can mostly meet that goal, and I appreciate all your support! But if it is better for your own emotional health, then do contact me if you'd like to cancel!

End of month things

In anycase, thank you all for supporting me, December is going to have a couple audios in the next few weeks, but around Christmas, I'll be traveling (A bad idea I know but I need to do some family stuff before it's too late) and things may slow down towards the end of the month.



In ancyase I hope you've all enjoyed being my stuff! You guys literally allow me to do this, my patreon, and all of you who buy audios from the shop, help me get my groceries, pay rent, and exist in the capacity I do. I'm thankful for every one of you every day. Adding credits to the audios, and generally being more communicative is going to help show that and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the things I make!



All the best!



-Caudle.

Heya all! Rough year for me its' been about three months since my dog died, and I think I'm feeling a little more on an even keel, trying new things, and feeling more like myself, so hopefully there'll be more stuff finished down the pipeline soon! I've started Mandolin lessons, and I'm seeing a psychiatrist in November to help with possibly getting some medication for my depression again and seeing where I'm at!

On lighter notes, I am dying for some more good, indulgent, written tail/coil content! Like, really long slow tail coiling scenes, teasing that sort of thing and I'd love to commission a couple stories in that vein! So if you're a writer, and you're good at that sort of thing please do comment!

Also, as always voice actor auditions are always open so if you're interested in that email me at Sibyllinesounds[at]gmail.com

Hiya guys


2020 has been pretty rough for me, my aunt (Basically a third grandmother to me) died a few months ago when her cancer finally got the best of her, and yesterday, very suddenly and with exceptionally little warning, my dog Geo, who I've had since the first day I moved away from my parents, died.

I am distraught in a very old, and at the same time very new way. I don't really know how to function without Geo. He's been here since literally day one, I walked into this house I'm living in now, and he was there, wagging his tail and clinging to me like glue. I work from home, I'm alone for long stretches, but I never really quantified what 'Alone' was because he was there, now he isn't. It happened suddenly and all at once, a rug pulled out from under me without a knowledge of how far the floor was to fall.

Anyway I'm not going to make the whole journal me going on a long vent about it, I've done that on Twitter a little (I'm more active there, you can follow me @Caudlewag). What I'm saying is, I started 2020 with the intention to get all my queue finished out, and to forge ahead to a new more responsible and timely self. This hasn't happened, and while I made a lot of headway on my queue in between catastrophes, I can honestly and completely say it may be a while before faster progress is made. I can't have it weighing on my conscious that that's the case, and I also can't have my queue keeping me from making passion projects, because right now I NEED to make things for me. I'm still working through things, but thanks to a lot of wonderful people Geo's emergency vet bill, and his cremation hasn't touched my savings, so I have money and will be okay saying this:

If you're tired of waiting for something from me, and didn't take me up on the offer in the last journal, if you do want a refund I can provide, just email me and with your Paypal email, I'll find the transaction and act accordingly. If you're willing to wait still, part of me does desperately want to finish the fun stuff you've given me to do (Particularly audios as a good chunk of those have some content done), then I will try my best to have it done by end of year, but end of year is all I can really promise at current. That's five months. That's a long time, and an intollerable time to wait for a product. No one commissioned me to become my therapist, or hear about my troubles. That's not what a business transaction is, and while I thought at the time I could handle any workload, the world has somewhat broken that assumption of myself.

Do not feel bad, or hold off because I'm grieving, I do want to work on what you've given me, but the wait has been very long, and the year has been very hard. If having a refund would help you get through it, contact me, I won't be mad, and I won't get any sadder, just let me know, and the deed will be done.

I love this fandom, and I can't let things like this burden it. I don't want to be the guy people are waiting on notes and updates from for eons. Right now what I want to be is whole, and I don't think I will be for a few months, but I can be a good business owner, and not push forwards that sadness and expectation onto customers. So please, contact me if you need to, if the wait has been too long, because it really has been.

I will be working intermittently to keep myself busy, and will continue to chip away at the queue for those who do want to wait, but I can't keep an honest time table, not right now. Not in 2020. Not when all this is happening.

I love you all dearly, thank you for following me, and for continuing to follow and support me in every way you can.

-Caudle

What a year eh?

Anyway I've been making steady progress since I closed coms towards the end of last year, but admittedly several events have slowed that down somewhat between my car breaking down, and my aunt's worsening cancer and eventual death as of the Saturday prior to this journal. It's been a pretty rough year with a lot of punches but I'm trucking along and I dearly appreciate everyone's patience.

In the mean time I feel like I've kinda let FA fall to the wayside, there's many new art bits and characters I haven't shared here, but instead just posted to Twitter, and Twitter's not the best gallery, so I will be mass uploading a lot of art and perhaps some old stories today in an attempt to catch FA up to where I'm at with content besides audio. So look forwards to that, sorry for the spam, but if you want to comment on anything you like it might cheer me up.

SO I board a plane to Chicago late tonight, and I'll be at MFF Thursday-Monday! I'm not running any panels or events this year so if you see me feel free to say hello as I won't be rushing off anywhere!

Sadly I didn't get stickers ordered in time this year so I won't have any to give to people who say hello but hugs are A-Okay so long as there's forewarning (Don't tackle me from behind I spook easily and bat bones are hollow...)

I hope to see everyone there! And if I'm hard to contact during the weekend that's probably why!

Heya, everyone! It's my birthday, and I'm super happy that I have so many wonderful friends and colleagues who I've made over the past few years in the fandom to celebrate with and enjoy the day with. I've never felt so much love and support in general from...any group of people really! I adore this fandom and everyone in it, and I've had a wonderful time in it!

I've also had one of the first of one or two good birthdays I've started having in some time, which is why I think I have to get myself something I've wanted for a while, and that's to be better than I have been? Admittedly I've been swamped for a hot minute. Every few months I'd get a second wind, catch up a little, then get depressed again and fall behind, adding little things here and there to help with rent, or an emergency, but I think things have compounded somewhat?

It's gotten to the point where I can't seem to work on much of anything besides the occasional enjoyment project, and one or two commissions every two or three weeks, and that's my fault. Those are my mental hangups, and my hard time working, and that wasn't expressed to everyone who entered into commerce with me, and they shouldn't have to wait while I sort myself out.

I think, what I want for this year, the next 365 days, is as clean a slate as I can make it, whether that be through working hard and finishing as much as I can...or yes...through refunds! I'm super sorry to anyone who's been waiting for a while, but my head's been in an on and off bad place, and I don't think I've been in a spot where my customer service or general conduct has been up to the par I want it to be and that's not right.

I think my entire work ethic and day to day life isn't...working like this, and you all shouldn't wait for me to make it work. I've gotten to the point where I can support myself making things I enjoy and like, but I think that headspace is crowded in by the responsibilities I saddled myself with SO.

I've gotten a good chunk of birthday money and if you've been waiting on something and don't feel like waiting for DM me a transaction and I'll toss it back your way! I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to get around to this, it's been an up and down of a year, and of course lately that's every year.

But I feel like this year is an up year, and I want to pay that forwards by going into it as a better Caudle. If you would like to keep waiting I will knock out everything on that list, that's a promise, but I'm not gonna lie, it's not gonna be fast. I think trying to do everything at once day to day has me doing nothing, so I'm going to take a bit of time, and give every project the care it needs.

I think that's the best birthday gift I can get myself. Thank you so much for your understanding, and don't worry! I'm happy to do this, and really glad I've gotten to a spot financially where I can without worry.

DO NOT be afraid to hit me up! I'm having a wonderful birthday and I want to do as much as possible to spread that around.

Hello!

Apologies to everyone who's been trying to get up with me recently. I've been sick as a dog for a hooooot minute and I've let a lot of things fall by the wayside! 2019 has been a pretty busy very ill year for me with a lingering cough bad enough to cause scar tissue in the back of my throat aggravated by pretty much continually getting sick over and over again since round about January.

In anycase! Since for the first time in a HOOOOOT minute, I actually have insurance I went to the Doctor, am now feeling quite a bit better, am actually seeing a therapist on top of that to get my depression in check, and a bunch of other goodies including seeing if I can't get what's possibly some ADHD medicated.


ANYWHO all of this has left me pretty backed up, and no one deserves or is here for that. SO While I am now well and good and chipping away at things now that the week's started a new, I appreciate everyone's patience and would appreciate a little more of it as I wheel myself back to being on track. BUT if you have been waiting on something for a while and understandably don't wish to wait anymore, send me a note and I'll do my best to reverse unsatisfactory transactions/work out new solutions if tastes have changed/patience has worn thin!

Once again apologies, and here's to hoping I can stay un-bedridden for a month solid with any luck! Onwards and upwards!

SO I've been fighting with a computer that freezes the whole OS every 10 minutes for the past few years, after spending the last couple months kinda tinkering around with build stuff, everything finally came together and I have a far better machine to make audio/write stories/do general projects on! Because of this I'm kinda getting back into the swing of being productive in the day to day.

SO on that note this old computer was super bad at doing everything so it made uploading to FA a bit of a pain? Now that that's not an issue any more...expect a content flood. Also if I haven't gotten back to you about something recently ping me a note! This computer will make it much easier to crank out things and work through my general productivity line.

Onwards and upwards!

Also...yeah lot of stories/art bits coming in...warning.

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been a bit quiet on FA these past few months, the end of Summer was super hectic and busy, but things are cooling down now and I'm going to be updating things around here a fair bit! I'll be uploading my backlog sometime this week.

o! I'm a freelance person and thus I lack dental insurance. But OH NO I NEED A ROOT CANAL AND CROWN DONE and that is a four-digit procedure. With the help of some friends and family, the bill has been knocked down from almost 2k to 1k but that's still a lot! So I created this gofundme to help with things.

It's already over 50% funded and I am oh so thankful for all the love and support.

For more info, check the link below! And if you enjoy my work/presence around the net consider donating!

https://www.gofundme.com/fix-caudle039s-chompers

If you'd prefer you can also help out with Ko-fi!
https://ko-fi.com/A624F7R

In the meantime expect more audios, more stories and more me in the near future! Also, to keep up with my doings I'm generally a bit more active on Twitter! https://twitter.com/Caudlewag

I wrote out this message yesterday, but I thought it would also make a good journal! So


It's my birthday!
I think part of the reason I like TF so much is that it speaks to my depression? When you suffer with mental health, it feels like you're not in control of your brain. Some days I wake up angry, some days endlessly sad, irritable or, on special, wonderful days..happy. Somedays Caudle wakes up a dragon, or a lizard, or a monkey or a mouse. Either way, no matter form or mood, it's still me.

I think that's important to remember and hold one's self accountable. I'm not in control of everything, but I'm in control of what I do regardless of what form things take. No matter how many legs, no matter how big, no matter how sad, no matter how bouncy, it's me, and I can control what I do.

It's been a grand year. I moved away from home, settled in with some wonderful friends, went out of the country for the first time to visit an amazing friend, met so many people at conventions and parties, started a website and youtube channel, I did so much!

At the same time though, I think I could do better, I've been slow on commissions, my writing muse has been fickle at best, motivation fleeting, notes an emails take days instead of hours to answer, and I occasionally get a bit distant. In the year to come, however, I'd like to be more like...me! More like Caudle, if I wake up with four legs, I need to walk anyway, if I fall out of bed as a snake, I need to get the hang of slithering, and no matter how I wake up, as a freelance writer, I need to sit down, and I need to write. No one signed up and gave me their confidence, and supported me with their funds to hear excuses. I've finished lots of commissions this year, written so many fun things. There's a backlog of stories finished and waiting to go up a mile long, but I Can Do Better I can be better.

I think birthdays are sometimes days where everyone says you're doing excellent and no one brings up flaws, but I think I want this one to be a fire under me to be the best version of myself. I'm away from home, I control my days, I can create what I want, and do what I wish. I have endless potential, and depression is not going to keep me laying in bed, stuck between 0 and 1. No matter how I wake up, I don't just want to walk, I want to run. I want to get published again, I wanna do so many Sage appointments to help comfort people, I wanna introduce people to audio dramas, I want to shake off the negative thoughts that plague me sometimes, and, to quote a lovely film, I want to try everything.

Let's go forwards, and in the next 365, take the good things of the previous and crank them up to eleven, because one of the things I did this year was finally play Undertale, and I am filled with DETERMINATION.

Because despite everything, every wonderful, saddening, glorious thing, it's still me.

Well con season was DEATH to my work schedule, mixed in with the fact I got a mix of PCD and the worst fever-riddled Con Crud I've had in some time, coming off of FWA. Mixed with this, it's been raining all week, so recording for Sage audios has been at a pretty much standstill due to the sound of raindrops divebombing off the gutter.

However, FWA was probably my lastcon until the Fall, so it's time to start streaming again, getting stories done, recording audios and getting back into the swing! There'll be a for-sale audio up later tonight, and LOTS of free ones this week. Thakns for your patience, and let's look forwards to a productive second half of the year !

Hello, in the wake of my grandmother's passing, I've been...distant and hard to contact around the net and I apologize. I've been slow to respond, slow on getting things done and generally down in general. I think this has stretched on back before this, all of 2017 my grandmother was sick. She was diagnosed with cancer before the stroke and the 2016-17 period of my life was marred with a lot of tragedy that I don't think I really allowed myself to process fully.

I have, however, moved house, have some lovely housemates, gotten away from a lot of the bad stuff that goes down in my hometown with old family issues and such things. I think now that the winter is thawing out, I think I am too. I've been in an icy sort of internal place for a long time and it's nice to feel warm again for a bit. This mixed with going to TFF recently and meeting a ton of friends for the first time, in person, has me on the mend.

Thank you all so much for your patience. expect a LOT of uploads in the very near future.

There's been some delays and general lack of communication here lately, and I'm here to say why. In December my grandmother suffered a stroke that left her rather incapable of caring for herself. We got her settled in with some care after a few weeks. At that point I thought I was fine to move out of state, generally, in my family, the way things go is someone will have a stroke that does something to their motor skills/cognitive abilities, then they'll live for anywhere from 5-10 years more before some other brain-related ailment takes them finally...

This was not the case, my grandmother had a brain aneurysm shortly after I moved to Atlanta, and after a hectic weekend of missed buses and broken moving vans, I've been back in my hometown for the last week waiting on that final terrible news.

I got that news Via phone call a few minutes ago. My grandmother has passed away, and I find myself somewhat numb by the weight of that. I apologize for delays in communication and production. I'm sorry if I seem distant in the coming days. The only cure for such things is time and I'm trying my best.

I hope all reading this are well, and do wish me luck it's going to be a hard weekend.