Check it out:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3260702/

I want to put together a portfolio site for myself. What sites out there allow for a lot of customization?

I think it's high time to create a new account for 'serious work'. I have all sorts of works, both written and drawn, that I have yet to post. I doubt I ever will post it here, if only because this account has become too personal to display the kind of professionalism I'd like. Once I devise a memorable name (I'm open to suggestions), I'll plug (read: whore) a link here, so keep your eyes peeled!

Oh... oh, geeze! Not literally! Oh, god, I'm gonna be sick...! How do you even--*blaaaghph*

I can sneak up on people without trying, which scares the dickens out of them when I say hello.

I have snatched flies out of the air as they flew by.

My eyesight is better than 20/20.

I can pick out minor details that most people miss, such as a change in texture indicating a section of wall that has recently been replaced.


How do I know that I'm not a superhuman soldier destined for bloody conquest?

...I walked into a doorknob yesterday.

I've grown weary of the point my life is at now. I'm stuck in a part-time job while I scour the land for full-time opportunities, the vast majority of my friends have moved so far away I can't hang out with them in person, leaving me with very few options for Friday night fun, and living at home simply is not something I enjoy. I love my family, but some days they drive me up the wall.

Simply put, the wanderlust is upon me. I crave a life where I choose my home and destination. To do that, I need to drastically alter my lifestyle. Money is the greatest tether holding me back, so full-time employment is the first goal to meet. Whatever is holding me back - fears, insecurity, longings for what cannot be - it has to go. I will get out more. I will exercise more. I will learn how to salsa dance and be goddamn amazing.

I will be someone I can be proud of.

If it doesn't fit, if it eats away at me, I will cut it out like a cancer and start my life anew, no matter how much it hurts.

---

I may start commissions on the side to help build up funds. Keep your eyes open for samples in the near future.

This year, I want to:
-Learn either Yiddish or sign language
-Keep my room neat
-Get a better job and get out of the deli FOREVER
-Rediscover my artistic muse
-Start fencing or gym-ing again

Not necessarily in that order. Think they can be done? A lot can happen in a year... let's find out!

And maybe a little hollow. I'm not sure if it was caused by the situation or my dramatic family members. Being the Glass Man sucks.

My grandfather is dying. He's ninety, so it's not like he hasn't lived a full life. It's just very sad and painful to see a man who was so strong and proud all the time I knew him suddenly look so frail. He's the type of person I imagined would go on forever. I simply could not fathom life without him there to crack a corny joke and fill a room with laughter. I even imagined him at my wedding.

Now it seems like he has a medical dilemma weekly. So far as I know, the doctors are saying he could last anywhere from a couple weeks to a few months. All the while, I have this horrible sensation of watching a car cruise down the street, slowly running out of gas, and I know that when the fuel runs out, it will never move again.

I think I've come to terms with the situation, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. To make matters worse, I'm feeling guilty about living my own life. I've been feeling the urge to roam, to move halfway across the country, but that would take me from the family I feel needs my support. Suppressing that need feels horrible, but what if something happens to my grandfather and I can't be there? Yet moving means I can be with the woman I love and start my own life.

I want to rip myself in half so I can simultaneously stay with my family and have my freedom. I don't think I can keep living like this much longer.

:iconsullenlust is open for commissions! She's a very talented and hard-working gal who can not only draw, she can sculpt, too! Admit it, you've always wanted a sculpture of yourself. In fact, you deserve a sculpture of yourself. You NEED a sculpture of yourself. Go get a sculpture of yourself, you glorious, egotistical bastard. It'll look great on the mantle.

Did you know she makes fursuit parts, too? Show off your sense of fashion with a set of bear claws! What's that? Your friends don't think bear claws are cool? Screw them! You've got bear claws! Bear claws are always fashionable. Yeahhh... bear claws~

And for you ladies, Sully is selling sexy things (say that five times fast), like a GORGEOUS corset. Mmm... corset... gwahhh... Oh! Um, right. *Wipes the drool away* Go check out the wares! If you can't afford to spend money, earn her love by pimping out her journal. Remember, everyone loves a good pimp!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/1652871/

Depression is the enemy! Don't give up, soldier! Get out there and fight! Exercise! Socialize! Laughter-ize! Chocotise (in moderation)!

Now get out there and show that S.O.B. what you're made of!

---

I was feeling a little down in the dumps recently, and wrote a big long emo rant, but just a couple minutes talking with my girlfriend made me feel much better, so you get this instead. She really is the most wonderful person in the world. <3

I need some rant space. Bear with me.

Lately I've been trying to teach myself to draw in Photoshop so I can save some time in getting art online. I've been doing okay with Photoshop... it's a little time consuming, but the results are decent. In order to get anywhere with learning it, however, I had to develop a style akin to what I use when working with charcoal. The problem?

I hate charcoal. Absolutely loathe it. I would be overjoy to hear it had been outlawed as a drawing material.

But there's no mess or coal dust coating your sinuses with Photoshop, so I can set my dislike aside long enough to be productive. So now I've got this new style and can draw directly on the computer. Yay for me. But now I've got a new problem. I started an internship providing illustrations for a learning strategist's handouts. Now, I can churn out sketches for these strategies without much problem, so I'm at the point where I've run out of rough work to do. Great! Now we can just make a digital version and get paid, right?

"No!" my left hand shouts. "This was far too enjoyable for you! I curse you to draw like a third grade child without motor skills when in proximity to your tablet!"

"Well... fuck," the rest of me groans.

I've spent a very frustrating chunk of my day trying to draw on my tablet. I seem to do fine if I draw out of my head or go back to pen and paper, but heaven forbid I be able to draw a straight line if I'm duplicating something. I need something physical to destress with...

Why does my girlfriend have to be so far away?! We could be having angry sex right now!

I digress. Maybe I'd have an easier time if I could get my brush settings to mimic a pencil better. Anyone out there have a clue? I certainly don't.

Alright, I think I'm done. Bear gone now.

So it seems my portfolio is in major need of beefing. And that my art is nowhere near the level of my competition in the job market. ...And that I have a career fair for which I need said portfolio in roughly two weeks.

In short, I suck and this situation blows.

In order to halt this hurricane of failure, I'm asking the few of you who do pay attention to me to start firing off requests. Contrary to what my sparse gallery indicates, I can draw (shocking, I know)! If you want free art, leave a message at the beep.

And tell your friends! Whore me, whore me! Dx


--Since this is mainly to help flesh out my portfolio, please don't request things that would make for an awkward interview, like sex.--



*BEEEEP!*



Requests that have thus far piqued my interest:
- zwlda and his amazing technicolor death vortex
- Zhelle gets robot sharks with frickin' laser beams (and possibly a doodle involving orange juice coming out his nose)
-Bears (rawr!) for  benjamin33
-A cute bird (macaw?) on  Etnaleopard's head


Requests to try new things with:
-A skateboarder doing skateboardy things for  pyrostinger
- AkioShiloh and  TobiasGreenich doing the tango
- Anioko spear hunting in the African wild (at least, that's how I hope it'll come out)



I'll try to get to everyone, but these guys are likely to be first. I've gotta keep up with my studies like a good little doobie, after all.

1) Post these rules
2) Post 8 true things about yourself
3) At the end you must tag 8 people and post their icons
4) Go to their page and send them a message saying you tagged them
5) NO TAG-BACKS

1. I have nearly died by electrocution, jumping into traffic, falling objects, asphyxiation, and drowning (twice). I consider myself a lucky sonuva bitch for surviving them all.
2. I have horrible self esteem, but I'm very good at covering that with humor.
3. I suffer from depression. Again, few notice because of my sense of humor.
4. I believe in giving each individual a fair chance to prove him or herself a moron or jackass.
5. Honesty is the best policy, but rarely the most enjoyable up front.
6. I'm not a terribly social person, but I can pretend otherwise.
7. My muse seems to be discontent. I get all my best ideas doing work I dislike.
8. Despite my multiple close calls in the water, I still love to swim.

Tagged: The first eight people to read this. YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED.

I realize I don't post much in the way of art. Frankly, I don't think what I draw is of very good quality (though I have been told otherwise). I've been wanting to get in some practice with my tablet, but when I finally dug it out, I discovered it had gone haywire.

It seems like either the pen or tablet has become hypersensitive: they act as if I'm pressing the pen to the tablet's surface when it's still a good inch or so above it. I've tried reinstalling the drivers, so I don't think it's a hardware problem, and the manual I found for it on the company website isn't much help. Does anyone out there know enough about Wacom Graphire 4 tablets to help? I really don't want to bleed my bank for a tablet, so I'd appreciate any help that could be given, even if it's just directing me to someone else (or sending them to me).

I just noticed my page has had over 900 views and I'm thinking to myself, "Who the heck are these people? Why are they all looking at me?!" It's not like I've ever been bothered to actually put up finished work. At least, not very good finished work. Anywho, it'd be kinda cool if someone sent me a screenshot of that first milestone one thou. I'll give you an e-hug or something. Maybe a box of good will and cheer if I can ever remember where I left mine. I don't know.



Do you people even read the junk I put here? Or do you just enjoy the pretty pictures? I bet I could say anything and you wouldn't notice. Yep, make a journal long enough and attention spans begin to run out... eyes glaze over... thoughts turn to that last bit of turkey you've got stashed in the fridge, wondering if the mold forming on it has developed an intelligent civilization you can con into worshiping you... sex drive kicks in and starts warping all your thoughts into bad porn... you start thinking about turkeys being ravaged by stuffing monsters that orgasm gravy... and next thing you know, you're sprawled naked on the kitchen floor covered in mashed potatoes and not a clue in your head about what just happened. It's a lot like that last biology course you took.

Once again, I'm making yet another journal as a note to myself about my own characters and art and whatnot/soforth/etc.

After reading a journal on obscure animals by  thumbclawz (found here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/529447/), I've decided that armadillo lizards are badass little Oroborous-esque mofos. And that got me thinking... I need to make one a character of mine. Aaand I just happen to have a character that I've been revising. So without further adieu:

Black has been renamed Johnny Jack. As he was originally meant to be a darker version of Caz, his species is now that of an armadillo lizard. Should I ever get around to making Id Comics a full blown series, he'll start to make appearances to harass Cazron. Since he'll only be seen as a shadowy figure at first (cliche, I know, but up yours if you don't like it), he will still initially be identified as Black by Cazron and Mirth, only revealing himself as Johnny Jack the Sin Eater much later on.

Mirth has been redesigned as a hybrid of dolphin and eel (the first rendition of his new look has been done by the lovely  Sheol) but otherwise remains the nutjob he's always been.

Cazron/Caz (that's me!) is still an ever-changing project. In Id Comics, I'll be drawing him as a human, but in this community he appears as a draconic mutt, a mix of water dragon, pseudo dragon, and who knows how many lizards. I'd prefer to nail him to a single species (not with real nails!) but I need to make one up, first. Frankly, I think he'll always be a mix breed, mostly because I want him to have some Fey blood to explain his mischievous nature. Current abilities Caz possesses are:
-Color changing
-Magic repelling/randomizing effect (frustrating when being magically healed, but otherwise highly amusing)
-Alt. forms of deer and rabbit (the latter only after he's had a few drinks)
-Sticky pads on his fingers and toes for walking along walls and ceilings
-Somewhat prehensile tongue long enough to lick his eyeballs

Abilities I'm thinking of dropping (feedback here is appreciated):
-Color changing
-Alt. forms

A character I'll be introducing shortly, Art, will probably remain unchanged aside from outfits throughout the ages. He has something of an abstract look, hence his designation as an Oddity. Art is the leader of Id's Cartoon Mafia, a group feared and respected for two reasons: they're nearly invulnerable thanks to cartoon physics and they keep the underworld in line while providing quality entertainment. Nobody knows how Art manages to smoke his cigars without a mouth.

Right-o, that's enough procrastination for now. I'm off to do all the things I loathe! =D

Some notes on stuff I've been wanting to draw. The thoughts keep getting pushed out of my head by more pressing events, unfortunately, such as school work, so I might as well jot them down here.

The Land of Id (A personal project of the world I've been building for story purposes):
-Mirth (Dolphin/electric eel hybrid)
-Black (Nasty insectoid amalgamation of ant, wasp, and dragonfly among others--not finalized)
-Mister Janus (Male human, face obscured by a mask that alters to match his emotions--sometimes accompanied by floating masks of the other alter egos)
-Nash Hounds (Mouthless wolves accompanied by twin pairs of floating jaws)
-The Calibers: Blank, Piercing, Explosive, and Dum-dum (I'll upload the original doodles if I ever find that notepad again)
-Gremlins
-The Sleegar (I want to draw him with his neck extended, rather than protectively withdrawn like in the pic currently in my gallery)

The Desmins Brothers (Another personal project involving Caz's alter egos, past, present, and future):
-Black [berserk] (Caz's repressed dark side, composed of the parts of himself he found repulsive and tried to discard. Something of a berserker or juggernaut.)
-Black [refined] (Finely dressed with white gloves and a tophat, thin to the point of being nearly skeletal, carries a cane with a concealed sword. Cold, distant, and calculating.)
-Mirth (A distorted madman version of Caz. Lanky with exaggerated limbs--hands reach past his knees, tail is whip thin--and a constant Cheshire grin. Coloring resembles theater paint on his face and black and white bands over his body. Performs acrobatic feats that have earned him the nickname 'Twisted Jester'.)
-Yehcranna ['Possesion'] (The original Cazron I role played was possessed by a shadow demon, cliche as it may be. I thought it would be interesting to revive the demon and have it in the background as a shadow looming over him.)

Things I can't yet draw but dearly wish I could:
-Sotto Voce (Greenman, body composed of vines and various plants, tendrils/vines for hair, eyes are bioluminescent orbs--the fruit of an unknown plant)

If any of you folks out there happen to feel inspired by my little blurbs and want to do something with them, shoot me a note. I love seeing other takes on my ideas.

Note to self: Git yo ass to drawin', beyotch!

Logos:
-Pyro (Digital, red wolf paw with small gouts of flame instead of nails)
-Ork (Original sketch needs to be digitized)

Digital Art:
-Inny (Wings need to be changed to dragonfly wings)
-Selfie (Still need to finish coloring it... hopefully I'll be done before her next birthday)
-Deej
-Odjit-Sanura
-Dracon

Pencil Art:
-Minerva holding a small bundle ^-^
-Tatzlanith (anthro+feral, anthro form draped over feral form's back or neck [?])
-Sully/Sullenlust (a choice of human, raptor [velioraptor?], or chibi)
-Etna (Grooming a sullen MLP--she knows what I mean)
-Samurai Jedic vs Aku Nighteyes
-Husky/Leopard concept
-Bitch (clockwork/steampunk xenomorph)
-Megitron (Megido+Megatron, complete with laser horns and palm-mounted milkshake cannons, transforms into a tank with horns)

Detailed Ideas:
-Wyld lounging in the bath, wearing naught but a hat with the brim pulled low to shadow her eyes and a tie that draws the line of sight right down... leaning forward against the edge/back against the edge with her arms draped across. (Quoted from a conversation)

'We are' series (Drawings heavily reminiscent of Marvel symbiotes):
-Ryker ('We are Blaezac', Venom influence)
-Kinskie ('We are Blood', Carnage influence)
-Wyld ('We are Wyld', Shriek influence)

There we have it, folks. I'll prolly bounce from section to section, but that's more or less that drawings I've been owing.

I went back to drawing in pencil today and not only does it look much better than my tablet work, it felt great (though it might've been because I was drawing to blow off a little steam ^^;). Anywho, I decided that I wanted to do some more, so I'm starting another list. Same deal as the last one - if you want to be on it, leave a comment. If you want it drawn faster, leave me some specifics as to what you want. Nothing mature, now - I have to use a scanner in a campus computer lab.

The list so far:
-Tatzlanith (anthro and feral)
-Me and Minerva snuggling (possibly with bunny ears :3)
-Etners McSpottybutt!
-Ork
-Jedic
-Kaze (because I feel like it)

Mostly for my own reference. It's a list of all the folks I'm gonna draw to practice with my tablet. If you want to be added to the list, leave a comment with some specifics and I'll see what I can do. No promises, though.

Those who do give specifics with get their pic sooner, rather than at the end of time. >.>

-Pyro (Red wolf paw with small gouts of flame instead of nails)
-Inny (WIP, wings need to be changed to dragonfly wings)
-Kraken (It's a shapeshifter, so I can't screw it up! x3)
-Ryker (*evil laughter*)
-Selfie (VERY late birthday pic, needs to be finished before her next birthday - WIP)
-Ork (personal logo, initial design sketched and waiting to be digitized)
-Deej
-Odjit-Sanura
-Etna (with dreaming curled up kitty or bunnies)
-Snowbunny
-Kinskie

Wow, I seem to be getting a lot of felines here.

Today, being the first day of classes for me, I decided was a perfect day to do some drawing. What better place than in a studio class? I cracked open my notebook, coaxed some graphite from my pencil, and started sketching, an idea already forming in my mind. What I meant to draw was my darker side, the calculating madman I call Black.

What I got was a self portrait.

It's interesting, though, if not faintly disturbing. I realized that I had drawn Black after all. When I first came up with him, I was toying with the idea of characters based on exaggerated fragments of my personality for a story I had been working on (and still am). The result was sort of a Jeckle and Hyde: Mirth, the Twisted Jester, and Black. Whereas Mirth was, quite literally, a clown with a somewhat deranged sense of humor, Black was much colder, a monster of a man who would do whatever he could to break someone if he deemed it necessary. While I refuse to be that monster, and in the past have even gone so far as to bury that part of myself deep within me, that drawing today made me realize that it is still very much a part of me. I still feel violent urges sometimes, still want to say the few words that could completely shatter a man... it's frightening to think what would happen if I ever gave that part of myself control.

For those of you who don't know, I got my hands on a tablet not too long ago (or maybe ages ago--I have a bad sense of time). It wasn't until recently, though, that I started to really use it. When I did, I hooked it up, made a few lines, and thought, "Wow. This is crap."

So this is what it comes down to, folks: I need practice. Being the creative, free-thinking individual that I am, I'm going to let you people come up with things for me to draw. They won't look fantastic since I don't plan on going much beyond messy sketches in the interest of time and sanity, but hey, it's free art!

On a side note, I refuse to do porn. Not because I have morals, but because I don't want to plague the world with bad porn. Leave the sex to people who know how to draw sexy.

Now then, get your brain juices flowing and start spewing them words at me!


The list so far:
-Inny (character sketch)
-Sully (character sketch)
-Big ol' mess of bunnies