Yeah, so going to start with life updates since I'm barely on much anymore...

Pretty much my reasoning for being gone a lot is I've been depressed...Severely depressed...like hidden in a dark room crying my eyes out and not sleeping much. A lot of this has to do with work/family/and lack of irl social interaction brought on by work.

Breaking that down. I normally end up working from noon to 11pm central. On most weekends and even later during the week...It's only going to get worse this next week cause of Fiesta (http://www.fiesta-sa.org/)...But now that I'm over it cause I have something I want money for I have a reason to not care so much about it.

Family...Grandma is still bed ridden and on hospice....it's honestly been a little while since I've visited due to the onslaught brought on by work....this makes me feel terrible... On top of this my sis...is well for lack of a better wording being a total B...stealing from the family 'to get her rocks off' (aka, get high on what she can.) and nothing any one says or does stops her discourages her anything...(This does include cops, cps, and family.)

Lack of social life...honestly I really need some one right now that can be here to hold me...I've pretty much cracked. I also need to surround my self around friends and keep my spirits up...(Thanks to those who have been there >^,^<)

On the brighter sides of things...As of 1:30 pm Central time Thursday the 18th I started my HRT! Meaning I'm on my way to becoming the person I feel like on the in side! Also my insurance is coverage ALLOT of this and work is being extremely supportive o,o; It's almost scary.

Also I think, I have a room at AC! (not 100% sure...still trying to get some answers. Updates as it moves along). That would be just the vacation I need...If not I will save for a local anime con and get another fur suit since mine is out of commission...

Other then that...I've been doing just fine and am very thankful for everything I do have. Both the good and bad. (could do with less bad but OH WELL!) As that is what one uses to build themselves. >^,^<

OH Nearly forgot my birthday is on the 10th of May! Yay 24! Does that make a grey muzzle yet?

Yeah, I'm really looking around and getting desperate. But I really would like to go. Just need a spot to crash some where since I'm sure the lobby wouldn't like it xD I'm willing to take anything from the closet, floor, or bed space and will pay my fare share of the room. (Most likely will bring an air-mattress so I'm not worried about the floor/closet space)

If I do get to go I would be going Thursday-Sunday (don't mind waiting till Friday to get the room space, just would prefer not...). If you know some one in need of an extra head to bring the costs down or just has the spot available, please let me know! By either noting me on here, talking to me on Skype (chakataurora) or (if you have it already) cell

Thank you so much in advance >^,^<

(Ps. I need to know by no later then mid May so I can get time off work)

Yup title says it all!

Ok, contrary to the title...I'm still around...just been really busy and stressed, think if I don't learn to relax a bit I'm going to have a heart attack (j.k...only partially...I may end up with one if I keep letting things build and don't chill out...)

The sad thing I don't know why I'm stressing as much as I am...I know I shouldn't be but it just feels that as soon as I get something good things come crumbling down in a tramatic way...always has been that way in my life. What I mean is, I just got full time at work...I'm doing OK at that. (Could be doing better if I shook all this stress off my shoulders but I'm getting to why I feel this way...maybe someone can smack me into reality!). But it just feels like no matter what I do at work I do something (small) wrong and make some one...(patrons on board my bus) mad. (Mind you I AM NOT DOING IT WRONG! They want me to do it wrong to help them out.). Guess being the good guy sucks.

Then, I also have a few other personal matters with my IRL family that have been hounding me. On top of money management (not cause of my spending but once again I'm killing myself for family....)

And to make matters worse yet...I can feel my health dropping weekly...my body is getting weaker. My jaw hurts more and more (Need to get those damn wisdom teeth out)...and I know I'm not eating like I should...(at least not daily since work is pulling so much of me it's hard to cook or sit down to eat a decent meal.

Oh well...I guess I needed to rant...and let you guys know I'm not dead...at least not yet. (Still believe I'm too mean for Heaven and Hell thinks I will take over. >:3 )

(Also there is more to this...I just don't want to type it all here cause I don't want everyone in my business...I normally keep things like this off FA...but right now I just a vent...THIS WILL BE DELETED...probably after I wake up. Unless I get some good advice on what chill pills work. AKA methods of relaxing...I've tried everything from sparing to meditation...from Biking to driving. I've even taken a walk through the woods...but so far I can't shake off the feeling of certain doom on my shoulders...)

I passed the final test yesterday and as of Today I'm full time with my company!

So today I finished the first part of a series of 4 tests I have been prepping for over the last 2 months. Once I pass these. I will be full time and get a pay raise. Also I should get some better days off over the next few months!!!

I blew through it with a 96. Although today is the easiest of the 4 days...tomorrow starts that rough ride...

Wish me luck on the rest!

Everyone else is doing it! Why not? Ask me about anything!!!

I was dared by  bloodwriter

1. Tell you something i learned about you by looking at you FA page for 13 seconds
2. Tell you the color you remind me of
3. Tell you my first memory of you
4. Ask you a question
5. Tell you something I like about you
6. Tell you the object that is in front of me
7. Dare you to do this journal

Got it from  tobi3b

0. We all know what we call you, what about the folks at home? Allen, Buddy, Aurora, Kader

1. How tall are you? 6'1

2. Natural hair color? brown

3. What about eye color? Hazel

4. What orientation are you? bisexual

5. Are you single, taken, or undecided? Guess? <3  Mistdancer

6. What do you do in your spare time? I have free time? Mostly I'm at the arcade, movies, or on LOL

7. What's your job? I drive buses for the city I live in

8. What's one thing you like about yourself? The fact I help people when I can

9. Alright, now what about something you dislike about yourself?

10. What's some things your friends noticed about you? I'm out going, friendly and cuddly

11. Of what faith/religion are you(if any at all?)I'm Therian

12. Do you drink? Abit...only a small bit but yes

13. Do you smoke? Hookah

14. What are your fears? Fear of being disliked and spiders *shivers*

15. What are your dreams/goals? Goals: To be a real girl! And to meet my friends from online Dreams: To be a fennec

16. Ever had any crushes/ex's in the past/present? Of course...

17. Who's your best bud? Dear god. My best friend ain't in the fandom but he knows of it

18. Alright, you got the cravin' for munchies, what'cha reachin' for? Pizza or Sushi. Depending on my monies

19. Favorite drink? Red Flash

20. Favorite color? Neon Green

21. If you had any super power, what would it be? Transformation...

22. Favorite movie? atm...o,o IDK...so many to choose from...I'm going to go with Hotel Transylvania but ask me next week and it may change

23. Least favorite food?...I can't think of any that I don't like

24. Quick! You have only one meal left before you die!!! Sushi with a desert of Lifesavers! (bad joke :P)

25. What do you drive/wish you drove? The new Corvette

26. Most disliked bug? Bug? Well...spiders if you aren't going to scientific on me

27. Most hated pet peeves? crying babies and the mothers who let em cry. It's not so bad, but when your public places like a restaurant or on a bus/plane?! Really?! Think of those around you please!!!

28. Dislike in life? My biggest dislike in life is the people you meet who act like they have lived everything and can always one up you, when it' obvious that they haven't....

29. Most annoying? ...My sister... J/king...ok only halfway, I love her. Just wish she would grow up

30. Most disliked TV show? Anything on MTV

Where as I won't be making TFF for the first time ever...due to work. My friend  Luna-Starbright is and she is doing wonderful works and taking pre orders on it too!!! I mean check out her micro badges! http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9679247/




Also a side announcement...since I'm not going to TFF...I am going to try my damnedest to get to AC. I am also going to attempt to take my mate  Mistdancer Although currently no promises...cause it's not cheap...and I am not in a good rank on the seniority boards yet...

So. I stole this from  Chakat_Blizzardmane
I'm going to redo My Family Tree.
Though I was wondering if who want's to be part of it.
The sections are:

Lifemate(s): Well I know 4 of these for sure
 Mistdancer  Railrunner  Reve  chakat_blizzardmane  chakatkeklilylongfall

Denmate(s):
 anime-wolf-08  Thornbrier  silver272  radium96

Companion(s):

Mistress:  mythrilblackpaw

Sister(s):  Shiro-chan.Riyuuka

Sister in law  corrilly

Brother(s):  KAIN2022

Mother: Biological died when shi was 8 but shi was adopted by  murienapshannon (friend from the city I live. Known them since high school and she might as well be my mom xD)

Sire/Father: None Rora's Sire died when shi was 8 (same accident that took hir mom)

Daughter(s): Listed oldest to youngest
Azure
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9550969/ (Was fathered by Keklily)
Racingstrype (only days older then Teardrop)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/8921880/ (The cub I mothered with Misty)
Teardrop
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9542093/ (The cub Misty mothered with me)


Got 2 More cubs on the way
One from Reve that I'm mothering
and one from Railrunner that shi I am fathering

Just leave a comment about where you want to be.

Well, as the light fades here on 2012 I'm looking forward to 2013! But before I get to that! I would like to list things and people that have helped me through this year. Things/people that have helped me become a better person (at least as I would like to think).

1) My family...Both IRL and online. You guys help shape me
2) My friends. I love you guys
3) My job...(I love it)

Now time to be more specific...
My Life Mates  railrunner  reve Both of you have been really nice to me irl and out. I love you guys and consider you both family

 chakatkeklilylongfall With out you hun...I wouldn't of opened up and started talking to half the people I know. *hugs tight*

*insert some one who idk if they wanna be named here* For helping me start my TG transition and giving me the knowledge/resources as well as courage to talk to a great counselor

 Mistdancer two guesses hun <3

As well as long list of others who've been there...you guys know who you are!

I'm also very pleased I got myself a new car and apartment to call my this year.

Also, starting up this new year. I'm in the full time class at work!!! This means I'll be making loads more hours...on less T,T but have the money I need to take care of myself cause I have some issues I need to correct. (minor birth defects, that are slowly becoming more and more major. Don't worry...it's not going to kill me! Just very uncomfortable... if you want to know more look up pectus excavatum on google)

My goals for this new year are.

Get full time.
Go to AC
Get start Hormone Therapy
Meet more Chakitties!
Be myself more
Finish Rora's Background

Well...That's it...I'm done.

Have a happy new year every one and Tail high!

Also don't forget...I love you all >^,^<

(also sorry for my friends I didn't list on here...I'm in a bit of a rush tonight and typed this on my phone)

Chakat Aurora Katsumi Longfall out!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! >^,^<

*hugs all who read*

Ever since I posted my latest pics I've been to busy to thank everyone who started watching me or faved the works.

So I would like dedicate this journal you all!

Thank you all so much!!!

So we finished moving in on Sunday spent all day Monday and most of today unpacking. The Internet tech is scheduled to come out and hook us up between 11am and Noon on Thursday. Although I most likely wont be on till later that night due to work.

My step brother is doing better but is still in a coma and the drs aren't looking to bring him out soon. They have also told us he may have some brain damage but there not telling how much or server it is as of yet....

Other then that. Life is good.

Although I need some snuggles!!!

xD

No! I'm not leaving FA on my own free will! I'm moving and until we get the interwebs set up at the new place I'm only going to be on through my phone. Although it shouldn't be longer then a week for this to happen

I will keep you informed!

Love you all! *hugs to anyone who has read this far*

Step 1
Make a post in your journal containing your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple to really big. The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real-life things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where folks could get in touch with you.

Step 2
Surf around other lists to see who has posted their list. If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream for free--do it. You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call. There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special



My wish list includes the following (Really only have 5)

1: To visit  Mistdancer for christmas
2: I have a few commissions I wanted to get by various artists.
3: To get this apartment me and  w0lfb0y have been looking at. (Got it!!)
4: To get full time at work
5: To visit some friends irl
6: IDK...Honestly can not think of anything I don't have/want. Other then to see people happy... Or a fursuit of Aurora but the seeing people happy is much better for me.
7: Everyone to have a Merry Christmas

As for notifying me notes/reply to this/or IMing me would be ok.

Others wishlists to try and help some more people out can be found here http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4053482/ .

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4069136/  chakat_blizzardmane

If you wish for me to add yours please just leave the link in a reply

Stolen from  Chakat_Blizzardmane who stole it from  thornbrier

WOULD YOU?
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] miss me if we went out then broke up?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] tap me on the a**?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] caress my body?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] say yes if i asked you out?
[_] let me wear your pants?
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

DO YOU...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[_] acquaintances?
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?

AM I...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] lovable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] annoying?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?

HAVE YOU EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought there might be an "us"?
[_] thought about hookin' up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE YOU...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin' bout me?
[_] going to repost this in your journal so that i will return the favor

Hope yours is a good one!!!


I'm off to work till 1 :<

(Sorry if my spelling is bad. I am currently holding back tears and fighting the iPhone auto correct)

So, here I am...back on the Texas Eagle. Haven't even been away from my friends for much more then a few hours and its starting to sink in. That my fun weekend away from stress is over and long work weeks, appartment hunting, and life is about to begin on Wednesday.

Have to say the train ride up was fun! Talked to a girl named Jessica who sat beside me the whole way and just had a ball >^,^<

Although nothing beats walking down the Grand Hall of Union Station and seeing my life mates  railrunner and  reve standing there under the clock in the middle (note to self. Future commission idea!!! Seth if reading this you've been warned xD). We sat at the station for a while while Reve grabbed a Cinnabon and we talked >^,^<. It was nice.

After leaving the Amtrak station and made our way to the subway. (First subway ride). Also leave it Rail to make us get a 'rattle trap' xD. Well when we got to the hotel after sorting some confusion at the front desk we made our way to the room. While I was in the process of unpacking  chakatrosewood walked in and I got a pleasant British hello! >^,^< The rest of the day consisted of running around the dealers room and artist alley. Didn't honestly buy much then. Just was scooping the place out. At the posted time Rail, Reve,  kiba,  jaslyn, and  mcclaw headed to Girodano's for the Nom & Yap. Best pizza I've ever had!!! <3 We (Rail, Reve and myself) ended our night with a game of Lupus in Tabula hosted by  firr. It was a blast xD. We then made our way back to the room for cuddles and sleep

Saturday was a blast! I spent almost all my time and too much money in the dealers den/artist alley. But got several commissions that I will be uploading (some as I get them others on my way home). Also found  puppyriku and said hi. The we headed to the famous Who's Lion panel and omg!!! It was epic, if you know what I mean! After that I found myself wondering the halls for a bit mostly enjoying my time before heading back to the room for more cuddles and sleep.

Sunday was kinda depressing but very fun! The three Amigas caught the dance competition finals and had our minds blown, if you know what I mean! (I need to stop that, if you know...). We collected the last of the art that we could get before everything closed out and Reve had to go home. (I cried)...me and Rail went to the closing cerimonies and my jaw dropped seeing the cons charity walk out with 40k in donations (there is going to be some happy kitties at that shelter cause of us :3). Rail then invited me to go out to eat with hir and hir friends (names will come soon if I got the room). After that I went and talked to Riku (aka Chakat Starsky) before heading back to the room to relax and sleep.

Today was rush rush. Woke up, showered, packed, got introduced to itialan beef by Rail before boarding the train a little over an hour ago...

All in all best con I've been to! No stress loads of fun and over 3 thousand people o,o (2nd biggest in America!!! Behind AC). The only sad thing is my suit is done...Kader won't be at another con or meet...

Also as a side note, I won't be home till late tomorrow night so I should be on and off my messengers via phone. Sorry if I cut out while we are talking.

Tail high every one! Love you all!!!

So I'm 1 hour out from boarding the Texas Eagle number 22 from Sunset Station in San Antonio!!! At that point it puts me 31 hours out from Chicago and MFF!!! Hope to see ya there!!!

So, I to get away from my family for awhile...they don't seem to see it but they are causing me way too much stress...Even though half of it isn't anything that can be controlled...

For those who don't know...I've been taking care of my grandma for the last year and a half...I've watched her Parkinson's disease slowly take the woman I used to know and change her into some one I barely know...her dementia has really taken over. It's getting rough. But that is as far as I'm going. If you want a better idea what I'm going through...read this http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedh.....th/PMH0001762/ and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parkinson%27s_disease


And to top it all off. I've been looking at houses and apartments with a few friends. The houses, were owned by family and due to the fact my dad doesn't think it would be a good idea for me to move...I was unable to. So, now we're looking at apartments. Although after yesterday. I don't think those are going to work cause after everything is said and done I'll end up owing more then I make...by nearly 200 bucks. That's not counting the small things either, like food/gas, household supplies, ect.

I so can't wait for MFF...(Only 9 more days till I board that train and leave!) I really need this break from my day to day at the moment.

Also, thanks to a special friend of mine, I started counseling for my transgender transition on the 29th of last month. Appointments are free through work atm. Although, I only get 10. Lucky me, my counselor, Miss Day. Is spreading them to every 2 weeks so I can hopefully grab full time at work before then and use my medical coverage to help me with the appointments! I'm just glade that something good is happening right now. I really need it.

(Edit)
I am also happy to say I get a raise in late December along with a few more hours of work!

And finally I want to thank everyone who has been on and helping me. I don't know how to thank you all!

1. Tell you something I learned about by looking at your Fa page for 13 seconds

2. Tell you a colour you remind me of

3. Tell you my first memory of you

4. Ask you a question

5. Tell you something I like about you

6. Give you a nickname

7. Tell you the object that is to the left of me

8. Dare you to do this yourself in your journal

Ok, since this con is my first out of state con, only a little over a month away, first con I'm riding the train to, first con where I am meeting people from online with out a friend I know from irl nearby, and first con I am rooming with other Chakats at. I am VERY excited and had to do this!

Where are you staying?:
The Hyatt (check in is at 3 on Friday, should be there by 2 if the train is on time. Believe me. I have complete faith is public trans. *cough cough and hides id for hir job as a city bus driver* )

What day are you getting there?:
Friday afternoon, leaving Monday afternoon

How long are you going?:
Friday Afternoon (getting into Chicago at 150ish unless the train is delayed)
Who will you be with?:
 chakatrosewood (aka  shadowulf)  reve and  railrunner

What is your gender?:
Male

How old are you?:
23

How tall are you?:
6'1

What suits will you have?
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/8975937/

Can I touch you?
*breaks into Hammer Time "can't touch this na na na Can't touch this" *pauses and looks around...* Ok...You can touch this

Can I talk to you?:
REALLY!!! You have to ask this?! Of course you can!!!

Can I take pictures with you?
NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE MY SOUL!!! *pauses* Wait...what type of pictures are we talking about?

Are you nice?:
Depends on who you ask. Come find out for your self!

Are you cliquey?:
Um...*googles cliquey before answering* Ok, just like what I thought. I do hang out with just about everyone. I don't tend to put myself in a clique but I do hang with friends, a lot, so it may seem I am. But I really am not.

Can I stalk you?:
Yes! Although...I hate telling you this unless you make it known. I probably wont notice o,o

Can I buy you lots of drinks?:
HELLZ YA! ALL THE DRINKS! I prefer Red Flash or other Red sod...oh? Alcohol! I will take a couple but I don't go overboard, so yes! I will take the drinks. Don't know bout lots unless it's a red soda though o,o

Can I hug or snuggle you?:
It took you this long to ask!? PLEASE DO SO!

Do you do trades?:
I don't do arts...but I will trade

Do you have an artist table?:
No...don't really want to have one anyways

Do you like parties?:
YES!!!

What should I not do around you?:
Um, be annoying. It's a quick way to get on my bad side...

If I see you, how should I get your attention?:
Shout for me, pounce me, make your self known. I am going to be running all over the place so if your just stalking me...I probably wont notice it.

To go to Dallas to visit friends when I get off work!!!

Namely  chakatsilveratus

Will be back by Monday