Hi again, look I'm just gonna cut straight to the chase, I might be getting into a class soon, but I'm gonna still need to keep money issues in mind. So, I just want to ask this question again.

Is anyone interested? And if you have already said yes, you don't need to say yes again, I just need to know if anyone else is. Because I need to know if I'm gonna need to factor that into my schedule in case I get into this class.

Just let me know. Because this is important.

I'm not sure how to go about this, I've mentioned it before, but these past few months have really not been going well for me and I just cannot seem to catch a break with job hunting or anything in the long run. I am really just hurting right and I don't know what to do. My attempts to also try and build up on commissions on here, only to not get anywhere through either being sick or being unable to work on pics or just lack of interest, it hasn't gone anyway.

I just don't know what to do. I just don't. And I'm really just tired of this nonsense. I just needed to say that a bit. Sorry if I wasted your guys time reading this short thing.

Yay or nay?

I admit, I wasn't too into the games, buuuut there is something about his design that I really like. I can't really pin it down though and this time I'm not being sarcastic, I really don't know.

I'm gonna work on commissions all week once I get home from work. If any of you have commissions already or want them, let me know and I'll get started on them right away.

I'm gonna stick with sketches, though, because I don't feel I'm yet ready to do lots of commissions at once with a huge multitude of color commissions. Those who already have color commissions, I'll still work on them, no worries.

I'll give you more details after work. Talk to you later.

I'm gonna be straight with you all... this has not been a good past few months for me and I'm only really just started getting back into a drawing spirit. And while I did end up getting sick, I did really try getting drawing done... but it seems like no one was interested. So while I am finishing up two drawings, it still just was disappointing for me this week otherwise.

And I understand, maybe it was a bit of a last minute thing and I didn't explain why I needed it. I really do need it, because I'm only working part time right now and my applications for other places haven't held and I just wanted to get some stuff done, even if it was just sketches. And I wanted to get them done because I had a busy weekend planned, so I'm not sure I could do it now.

But... while I may not have time now, I still do want to do some more sketching done for anyone who did want to commission me in the past or wants to currently. And I want to get on a schedule for it and I do really need the money right now and if you could help me out, I'd just really appreciate it. I'm just not doing well financially and so far this is the only option I have for it, so I just want to try and improve on that.

Anyway, that's all I wanted to say for now. I hope you all have a good weekend.

Will be after 3 California Time.

I'll be attempting to work on commissions. If anyone wants a $20 Sketch commission during this, let me know. Just remember that they will only be limited to one character sketches this time around.

Will be after 8 California time.

Hope to see you all there.

For those who want a sketch that looks like these two pics http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27668313/ http://www.furaffinity.net/view/27669502/

Let me know if you are interested and we'll work on them during those streams. Each sketch will only be for one character, though.

Wednesday's and Friday's streams will have to happen either late at night after I get home from work or earlier in in the day. Around either noon or after 8 California time.

Tonight though, I'm gonna work on some other commissions I already have in the works.

Getting sick. Getting sick when you have a million things you need to do and have set out to do, but those pesky germs don't care.

So those who have commissions you've been waiting for, let me know and I'll work on them. And make sure you are able to pay for it right when it is done. If not, do not rush it, we'll get to it next time.

I'll be working on at least one picture a day, possibly two. I will also be offering sketch/lineart commissions for those who want one.

A month back, I talked about the movie The Dark Crystal and I talked it up like it was a terrifying movie of my childhood. The truth is that it was definitely not a scarring experience for me, I was very much kidding around for the sake of a good laugh. If anything, while it had its scary moments, it was very much a movie that I considered average at best. I never really had much interest in watching the movie. I do know people who were genuinely creeped out by it and in retrospect I do feel creeped out by some of the stuff in this so called "kids" film and knowing it was never intended to be a kids film (shocking, I know).

But I'm gonna talk to you about a movie really did disturb me and you might have heard me talk about it before, but I don't recall. I'm gonna say it again.

The single most disturbing movie I have ever seen is Cannibal Holocaust. I love horror films and games and I don't really scare easily. I heard of its reputation and I thought, naively, that I could handle it. I was 22 at the time and in my second year of college. A friend talked about it and I felt it was good to try it out myself because I wanted to make my own horror films and wanted to have a good grasp of different types of them. I knew about the animal deaths, I knew about the effects being realistic enough people thought it was a snuff film, I knew all this and I thought I could handle it.

I was wrong. I was not prepared. I could never be prepared for it. I got through the first half fairly well, nothing to special... and then the turtle killing scene happened. I watched the whole fucking scene and it was truly the most horrible thing I have ever seen in my life. And knowing the people were forced to do it and the guy who killed it broke down crying afterwards. I knew, but I couldn't have been prepared for the reality of it. I had to stop and it took me forever to finish the film because I knew that I couldn't handle going through it in one sitting.

I recently watched that movie Hereditary and I saw people really say how much they thought it was scaring and disturbing even though it was pretty stupid. And I kind of envy them for it, because they really do not know what disturbing is.

Anyway, wanted to share that with you because it was on my mind after watching a YT video talking about it. And it really needs to be stressed that this movie... just is reprehensible. Even if you aren't planning to watch it, at least you should know how reprehensible it is.

Well, after an extremely stressful last few days, culminating in a fairly minor mental breakdown, I have decided to actually explain what's going on, though it's going to be short and concise.

See, about a month and a half back, my current job cut my hours in half, and it's been taking a massive toll on my life in many ways, from being unable to properly pay bills on time, to having to go out to do applications, which is more than just "go online" and apply, but actually going to the locations and trying to get somewhere with them. So far no fruit has been born from this.

And naturally that has a massive effect on my online life, because I find myself unable to really focus on drawing much at the moment. Most of it is because I am so obsessed with trying to set my real life affairs in order so I'm just exhausted afterwards, but I also just feel like I'm not getting anywhere with my art either. And so I get super stressed out about it, which only makes it worse. I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place and nothing I do seems to be helping.

So to say the least, I've been on edge. I want to try and not be so on edge, that's why I've been trying to get a better system of communication out for people regarding streams. I don't want to be bombarded with questions or suggestions and commission requests, because that isn't helpful. But what I want is to get work done in a timely manner and I can't do that unless I know that I can achieve that in a timely manner. I don't want to continue working as I do, slowly and unsure of if the work is gonna pay off.

That's why I got angry when I got literally no response at all concerning the stream journal. I really want help with this, but it seems everytime I actually go out and plainly ask it, I get nothing. I've asked a few times and I've literally got so little help from it that I can barely count it on one hand. I'm not saying I don't understand why people think it might not help, but it really does help knowing when doing streams, especially for commissions, can best be done for me and the recipient.

Plus, sometimes when I try planning it out, I get real life stuff to deal with on that day unexpectedly, so knowing I have options can really help fix that. And same with you guys, if I can get better communication going, it'll be easier to get stuff done without worrying too much and not let real life provide major setbacks anymore. It might not work, but it's worth it to try.

Anyway, that's all I have to really say right now. Please, it'd mean a lot if I could get some of this stress taken care of.

To the one person who actually said anything. It really helped out... nothing.

I don't get it, why is it whenever I actually ask for help to better communicate or set up better art scheduling, I get absolutely no help whatsoever?

This is just a mild vent, but... it just really bugs me.

Comments disabled. Just forget it.

Alright, first things first, previous journal has been deleted. I decided it was just something I had to do and don't want to deal with any of the baggage of it. I did save all the comments as screencaps, though, so I still am taking your opinions into consideration. As for anything else, I don't think there's any reason to go back and worry about whatever discussions or arguments happened. I think we should all move on.

More importantly, I wanted to discuss better possible stream times for this week. It's something that I think I could improve on better, but I just want to get an idea of when anyone who is interested will be around and such so I can calculate some good stream times. I can't currently do Wednesday and Fridays, but I am currently available for other days. I'm not tailoring it to specific parties, I just want a general idea. Many of us do live in different time zones, after all.

Okay, that should be it for now.

Is there any other art you'd like to see that isn't tickle, paw or any other kind of fetish related? And if so, what?

This is just for my own curiosity, because I have tons of other kinds of art interests I'd like to indulge in.

Just figure I'd let you guys fire away questions and I might give some answers.

Some rules

1. Don't ask why I don't draw porn

2. Don't ask about my personal life, such as family or whether or not I have a girlfriend and such.

And I'm absolutely serious when I say don't ask me either. I have no patience for such questions and do not feel like being quippy with them. So this is your only warning on the subject.

Other than that... knock yourselves out.

Due to technical difficulties. Namely of the family kind where they make your life as stressful as possible for no freaking reason.

Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I thought we were done with this, but Regis Philbin, that mongrel idiot, decided to do a Celebrity Millionaire, and network competition being what it is, I stand before you, a broken and miserable man.

Let's take a look at the comments.

Thursday will be for doing commissions, Saturday will be for drawing the winner of that Journal I did a couple days ago.

Spoiler, the winner was Doggie Kruger. :P

Anyway, see you all Thursday.

Well, I noticed I got a lot of unfinished stuff and I figured now would be a good time to get some of it done. Thing is, can't decide which I want to work on and which to save for later (or the scrap heap). So I'm taking a page out of my buddy  chameleonice's book and having you guys help me decide. So, thanks for the idea, Cham. ;)

Anyway, I'll choose two pictures for today and which ever one you choose will be the big picture of next weeks stream. Or at least, the coloring process, since depending on the winning choice, I'll have to add in some other stuff before hand.

Here are the choice.

1. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25404140/

2. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19113687/

Well, have fun.

Well, now that everything is taken care of for the air conditioner, I have decided that I'm going to get back to streaming.

It'll probably be around 5 PM PST, and I'll be working on this picture. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25535239/ So, hopefully you all join in.

Anyone?

Because this movie traumatized me as a kid and it's wrong if no one else suffered that either! My siblings don't count because I already know they were too.

Well, I've got some sad news. I know that I've fallen behind in making a consistent schedule with streaming, but the fact is is that I actually have a very good, and frustrating reason for it. It's a simple one too.

My AC is broken and it's FUCKING HOT OVER HERE!!!! The joys of living in a desert for you.

Not only is it a pain in the ass to try concentrating on drawing and streaming, the obvious problem is that it could run the risk of ruining my machine if I tried streaming too long in my hot room. And I'm not talking about it's hot enough to be slightly sweaty. I mean it's trip digits over here.

Anyway, that's all for now, I'm gonna try to get some artwork done though, you just won't get to see it done for awhile.

.... nothing new, it's just now I can't actually do it for when I want to.

I urge you to accept me as your ruler!