Bit 'o venting cause I need it.

Long story short, for pass few months I've been acting un-officially as assistant manager at work, and without any problem either. Thusday, i've been promoted to the spot (it's like yay!) but now my brain, just for... no reasons, decided to make me go very very anxious about it. Stupid like that. No reason at all. Worst of it, I've never been this nervous/scared/whatever in my life - past friday, worst day of my life. And I had my share at scary things in the last few years. Nearly get hands chopped off brain goes "meh", nearly crash car "tomorrow you won't remember", heart strokes "ok, scary, now go sleep and in a few we will joke about it" . Get promoted to something you already been doing "NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE".

Anyway, I got a 30-day trial/probation period, so I have time to get over it or go back to my previous position if things does not go better. Now I just got thru a 10-hour shift and hardly got sleep in the last 3 days so I should do that.

Vacantions! Time to get much needed rest, fix screwed up sleeping habits, rest injuried knee, and hope of going around that art block that i'm sinking in since 2-3 years now. not much else to tell the last journal was getting old. Just saying i'm still around. Yes title completly unrelated.

Wednesday, a lady at work complaint to my boss about how and where I unloaded a work table (I purposely put table's loading to make it get in the way) My boss who brought me to her and started to tell me to not do that anymore.

I took the opening to tell them it's annoying to have to emtpy tables every single time, when we (people of night shift) do leave them emtpy and ready to use at the end of our shift while those of day shift does not clean their stuff (thats why I put stuff in the way). At that point the woman had to admin (specially there still were 4 tables crammed with their stuff on them beside us). Funny, since that, tables are always emtpy we arrive for our shift...

Then Saturday, on the way to work, some dude hits brakes right in front of me, to avoid him sent I slammed mine, that sent me drifting (nearly crashed 3 times in row). Then 5 minutes after my shift, some manager of another department yelled at me for not doing a task, calling me stupid before saying she had no one before 8AM to do it, and it had to be do before 8AM and she would write me up so I will have to deal with consequences... Probably a stupid detail: No one ever told me that task had do be done before she does tells me. I had no clue about what she was telling me, at first I thought she mistook me for one of her workers. Since I take every critiques personal, even when I know they are wrong, I could not clear my mind of it and I got a hard time to sleep.

All in all, Saturday was rather loosy. Now I need some well deserved (i think) sleep.

Heh, its rare I update that journal without it being a stolen quiz. But since I have something to say, better say it as futile it might be *fails at having a life*

For one, my cold is giving up on me, and after 2 weeks I finally get a real weekend. I kept alternating between off days and work days, on night shift its not too relaxing I literraly slept all of Monday.

To make a long story short, after waiting from 3 weeks (they said 1 week to one and half, oups) I finally got my new PC, so now I can actually use it to play games rather than running on minimun setting and pretending to play PC games. And I also upgrade from Vista to Windows 7. Vista is horrible.

Giving my laptop to my mother, she feels bad to accept it for free, I would feel cheap to charge it to her. We do everything wrong in my familly :) No one would give a like-new laptop for free (outside of gifts) and why someone would refuse a free laptop :XD: We are probably both too kind or something...

Thou thing changes a lot for my drawing or least, the biggest change is the monitor. The colors are more brillant than my ex-laptop -- drawn Phoenix... She comes with super bright red and ultra yellow hairs! And its placed quite higher. So I will need an adaptation time before I can draw again. that said it might not be a bad thing, I believe I have bored my chat freinds with my never ending bats. (Thats me, when I like something I don't quit, I can tell you, if I still draw in 10 years I will still be drawing silverwing style bats).

The slightly bad things which are not so bad...
My previous desktop, my own 'Keep your friends close' looks grainy when set as wallpaper :( For once I was pround of something I drawn D'OH!

And my mother want to get rid of my super kool wolf blanket (in case you are curious: http://img713.imageshack.us/img713/.....0/loup1024.jpg). Valid point it tends not be good for washing machine. Double D'oh!

That about it I think, as usual keep up with awesome stuff all of you. I would hug you all but cold leftovers. So Rose hugs you.:)

Bah, not much to tell, bumping out the meme.

Managed to get back into drawing after a month of motivation lost followed by failling an intented gift then getting pissed at myself for failing... Thats to bad part of taking everything personal, failure and other bad stuff stays carved in there. But at least the good stuff does that too...

Anyway I hope I will make a new SAI work by next week. Got a butch - will I ever get it right- of ideas.

Free cookies for everyone.

Been a bit I did not updated this journal; so, yes I still exists, regarless the rarer uploads, I would put that to a somewhat lost of motivation to draw, dunno why, it just happends, ups and downs I suppose. Stupid, cause I want to draw, but when I try it goes just wrong.

Working on that cause the place needs more bats :d

And somewhat tagged by  Forte_Gigas

1. Tell you something I'll learn about you by looking at your FA page for 13 seconds.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what pokemon you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you, and your answer has to be as vague as possible to keep the suspense.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Give you a weird nickname
8. Tell you what's on my shirt right now.
9. Challenge you to post this on your journal.

A welcomed change of pace on my end I think, on the past few weeks I was caught on doing a lot of overtime at work and sleeping troubles which was leaving me with just a bit of actual free time (2-3 hours a day at best).

But the balance going back on my favor and thing going back to normal, for now at least. I should have more time to look and comment on backlogged submissions here. Then eventually go back in drawing... might finish Phoenix's backstory, or I shall move on new things before the audience get bored?

If I can put Demon's Souls away for a bit it would help too... Bad me.

Just a little journal to tell i'm still alive.

I know i did not just too active here, i'll try to upload more stuff here. I'll try to uplaod stuff I did not put into my DevianArt acoount, but that might be a bit hard. Maybe I shouldalso put a link to my DA account too... Or maybe i'll just uplaood some stuff at both place.

Perhaps no one cares nor even read. But a random pop-up from DA reminded me i'm memeber there since a year, which also mean i've started drawing a year ago (give or take a week). All started when a friend asked the other members in chat room to try to draw something in doodle, he did not beleived me when I said I could not draw and that I was a lost cause.

Guess he were right. I never ever thoguht I would pass 10 drawings nor come up with a character. Tally so far is 274 doodles and 7-8 characters o_O. (maybe I should upload stuff more frequently)

Moral of the story.. dunno maybe 'Do not doubt yourself'.

Thanks to those who supported me (and still doing). Also thanks to my watchers. Hugs and cookies for everyone.