WARNING: TOUCHY SUBJECT HEREIN

So I recently read The Black Dossier. Wow. Alan Moore doesn't want people to like his stuff, apparently. Here is a list of things that are crazy about TBD:

1: Harry Potter is a murderous, whiny, selfish psychopath who is the literal son of Satan.
2: James Bond appears for no reason other than to antagonize Mina and Quartermain, even working with what remains of the Orwellian government from 1984.
3: The Golliwog is in it.
4: Jeeves and Wooster fight Cthulhu (this is actually awesome)
5: Really. The freaking Golliwog is in it.
6: James Bond admits most of his career is fake.
7: THE GOLLIWOG APPEARS FOR LIKE THREE SECONDS AND WAS ANNOUNCED TO BE A MAIN CHARACTER.

My computer kicked the bucket. So, I return on my PS Vita!

My computer kicked the bucket. So, I return on my PS Vita!

I have WAY too many projects! Waaah! TT_TT

I guess I'm a super workaholic or something, but no matter what I do, busy, busy, busy always follows me around. Now I'm bored. I don't wanna do my projects for a bit, I need a break. I mean really. Like, I need a break like underwater Sonic needs air bubbles.

Darkman is the greatest movie ever. What makes this strange is that it isn't really very good. As a superhero film, it's decent. As a horror film, it falls flat, because you're laughing so hard.

Anyone else heard of this weird thing? I looked at it out of curiosity and now I'm hooked on this deranged animation.

Hey You! YEAH, YOU! Do you want a character to be portrayed in Chip's writing, for NO CHARGE?! WELL NOW YOU CAN! Simply send me a note detailing everything about your character (description, personality, likes, dislikes etc.) and the type of scenario you want written.

STUFF CHIP WILL DO FOR YOU:

Short stories!
Full, Multi-Part Collaborations (Absolutely free as well!)
Comedy!
Horror!
Thriller!
Science Fiction!
Fantasy!

STUFF CHIP WON'T DO FOR ANYONE:

Fetish stories. ESPECIALLY not one-scene fetish stories. I only involve smut when there's a plot, guys & dolls.

Ragefics. A Ragefic is a story in which another person's character (or the person themselves) is tortured and/or killed for no reason other than a petty, childish feud. People think writing these makes them badasses who instantly win the argument, when they are in fact making themselves look like little kids ("I'm goin' home, an' I'm takin' my ball wif me!" etc.)

THE ONLY RULE:
Be patient! I don't churn these out overnight, and if you can, then you should probably write the damn story yourself. I also just want to request that you kindly refrain from getting angry at me for not getting what you want exactly right the first time... That's pretty demoralizing, yes?

Sometimes, people ask me about the masked man in my profile avatar. I'll explain.

A few years ago, there was a web series on The Escapist called Doomsday Arcade. Around the eighteenth episode, the "Land of the RPG" was introduced, which housed characters from every role playing game in existence.

Now, it just so happens that I love RPGs, both video game and tabletop, so this was right up my street. Eventually, the ruler of the Land of the RPG, known as The Dice Lord, appeared, in Episode 19. And my God, he is the spitting image of me when I'm DMing. This guy is nuts. Don't believe me? Here, read these quotes:

"Some people call me the CREATOR! Some people call me the DUNGEON MASTER! Some people call me RICHARD GARRIOT!"

"TWO! Hmm... You DO find my gifts...!"

Oh, and one thing to mention: Every so often, the Dice Lord will "roll" to determine any form of success. He does this by making a circular motion with his head.

Okay guys, quick fix of facts about the mystery me.

I'm a Discordian. A Discordian is someone who engages in the worship of Eris, goddess of strife and chaos. A few things to keep in mind.

I: DISCORDIANISM IS NOT A CULT. We're not trying to bring about the end of the world or some stupid thing like that, just following alternative lifestyles.

II: ERIS MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. Frequently wears tap shoes, too, so there's that.

III: THE ONLY RULES ARE THERE ARE NO RULES BUT THERE ARE RULES EVEN WHEN THERE AREN'T. Ya follow?

Okay guys, I'm back and intending to plan another RP. Hopefully this one won't go downhill like the LAST one did. There's really only one twist to this: It's a cosmic horror story.

Cosmic horror was made popular by Howard Philips Lovecraft, an author from Providence in the 1930s. While I realize it is paradoxical to admire a sleep-deprived racist with a fear of fish and a mind so twisted that he came up with a town of frog-humans who worship a sea demon, I must admit that Lovecraft has done a lot of great stories (heck, if you never want to look at the countryside the same way again, read "The Dunwich Horror"), and I'd like to roleplay in a setting inspired by his writings. Of course, it'd include anthro characters because this is Furaffinity, so not adding furs somehow would be weird, non?

I hate my mother. Today she asked me, in an annoyed tone of voice, why I stick up for transgendered, gays, ABs, furries and the like. As if it was a bad thing. I want to get out of here. I want to leave my stupid family far behind and never come back.

So I'm back again, after a little soul searching. Annnnnnnnd I'm bored. If anyone wants to do anything, note me or leave a shout or something, and I will get back to thee.

We are the Lamia of the pool
We have been waiting
For your orders to bring you cool...

Just a brief notice that I ATEN'T DEAD!

So yeah, I see the Paranoia campaign fell through.

Okay guys. Paranoia. You're all still in, right?

Who is starting, out of the five of us?

WE CAN START WE CAN START WE CAN START!

Ahem... So, that is, if you're involved in the Paranoia campaign. I've checked the roster and stuff. A few rules first...

1: No arguing. I'll GM, and GM's word is law, so I'll have final say on all conflicts.
2: This is neutral ground. If you have a problem with another player for some reason, keep it to yourself and/or solve it through notes.
3: You cannot play super-mega-awesome-ultra-death-touch-man-deluxe. Not even if it's funny. Your characters aren't superhuman.

Any attempt to breach the BIG THREE will result in twice the amount of pain for your characters. Repeated breaches are treason.

Here's a list of everyone who's involved in the Paranoia campaign I'm gonna be running... To be updated.

:lolukelawliet98: as the Happiness Officer
:unknowcool: as the Communications Officer
:bluebomer: as the Team Leader
:jbwarrior: as the Equipment Officer
And yours truly as the Hygiene Office

Okay guys, I'd like to do something if it isn't too much bother.

I'd like to play a tabletop RPG, here on Furaffinity. And I'd like you guys to take part, if you want to. If you do, then please comment.

Bear in mind the following:

It is NOT a sex roleplay.
It is NOT a fetish roleplay. It has a plot.
You CANNOT roleplay a pair of shoes. That would be stupid.
IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST, then you can mention feet or tickling or whatever the hell turns you on. I won't judge, as long as you keep it self contained and actually contribute to the plot instead of lying around tickling each other's feet.

Apart from that stuff, anything goes at all. I'm even welcoming people who've never roleplayed in their lives, I can teach 'em, no worries!

I've eaten something and made that last journal pointless. Wow, I am such a sad git.

To live is to experience unimaginable hunger. Halp me gaiz.

This is a sort of trailer thing for an idea I'm toying with.

In the town of Malacre, there's always been the Firefly Scouts; Innocent, sweet little girls who walk the streets, selling brownies, helping the community, and generally being the nicest little sweethearts around! But there's a dark secret afoot, for the Firefly Scouts are secretly government experiments... And a string of gruesome murders have recently been reported...

Chapter 1 will be up when it's done.

And thank GOD that's over with.

Okay, until you guys stop fighting, I'm just done. I'm not going around asking other people's questions for them, NOBODY is self harming or committing suicide, and this whole mess had BETTER be resolved when I return or else I'm leaving the whole site.

It's come to my attention that there's a lot of fighting going on. Though I risk making it worse, I just thought I'd throw in my two cents, as it were.

I do not understand what this arguing's about and I'm not going to pretend to. All I ask is we resolve it quickly, act like gentlemen, and try not to harm one another or ourselves. All right? Thanks for listening.

Stuff like this worries me. When all of your friends are arguing, eventually they drift apart. When they drift apart, they drag all of their friends into the argument. And when that happens, a lot of people need to "pick a side" and spam the opposition with hate, over things they do not understand fully.

I'm on the fence. I like being on the fence. Picking sides isn't my strong point... And I doubt it's anyone else's either. So can't we resolve this? Please?

I'm going to begin a Shadowrun campaign shortly, but I really need players. Would you guys like to join? I can help you out with any questions and junk. I'd really like it if anyone joined really.

Okay, so I make amateur tabletop games... And I was watching TribeTwelve and Marble Hornets earlier...

OMG YOU GUYS SLENDER MAN TABLETOP RPG TIME

But wait! I need help! I was wondering if you guys could give me a hand, send me some ideas and shizz? If so, great! If not, Sadfaec.