my birthday went a little better than i thought even though my gift it certainly wasnt something i was expecting but thats okay - i just eh bout today is all-

:I seriously

my birthday is on monday and my mother has denied me two things that i had wanted i wont be able to replace my phone - its time to do it for fucks sake-
and two i cant get a drwaing tablet all because she says il stay holed up n my roomm.......yeah okay well fuck her im trying to get a goddamned job NOT MY FUCKING FAULT I WAS LAID OFF FROM MY FIRST/LAST ONE not my goddamned fault they dont need me there,




its hard to get another job


i dont even feel like doing anything o monday anymoe like fuck my birthday its just another day i need to quit getting so goddamned excited over it I GIVE THE FUCK UP

i learned a new word i feel smart now xD i cant wait for my birthday thats coming in little less than three weeks now :D reasonsssss x33333 C: ark knows why hee

another note

i am still so done with my parents shit new rule i cant sleep at all during the day not my fault i got shit sleep last night honestly...- waking up two four and three hours later is not cool yo :I honestly- i have an itch to draw stuff one of which is a prop which should be difficult if you think about it~

i really cant wait to move in the spring
one thing im not looking forward to is the driving...since turnpike crazy as fuck people man seriously they just swerve and speed some people even sleep! O_O dude.....driving is nice an all but its hella scary -shivers- no sank you but once we get to new place il be okay... i think xDD - moving any more im numb to it as well as some other shit which is sad but hey at least im not too upset over it actually

- gonna try an draw :U -

its only 9:45 AM but its p early but not too early like yesterday omfg.....seriously - im over at my bros thinkin of sleepin longer idk yet yeap im takin a nap

hopefully i get to do that, then getting tablet fixed i found a place that repairs stuff so maybe a simple switch of the cables will work :U i really wanna draw digitally - my fingers are somewhat rubbed raw....--sigh- oh well it should go well with fixing it

i wanted to wear my latest pretty thing that came in but she said no then said do whatever the fuck i want, which no im not going to now, i am pissed as all hell that i am laid off WHY THE FUCK DID THEY EVEN TAKE ME ON?! FOR FUCKS SAKE, THEN I WOULDNT BE HAVING THIS GODDAMNED PROBLEM PLUS MY PHONE SERVICE IS BEING A BITCH CAN I JUST FUCKING HURT MYSELF? I WANT TO HIT MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL SO BAD THAT IT GOES NUMB FROM THE PAIN PUNCH THE WALLS ENOUGH WHERE MY KNUCKLES BLEED.




AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF THE ICING ON THE PROVERBIAL CAKE, MY MOM SAID SHE WANTS TO BE WITH ME AND NOT SOME WEIRD GIRL IN A WIG......WHAT THE EVER LOVING FUCK

FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASIONATE THEY CERTAINLY ARE BEING A BITCH WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND MY INSECURITIES
I FEEL MORE CONFIDENT WHENIM WEARING THAT SHIT WHY? BECAUSE PEOPLE ARENT SEEINGT HIS WEAK TIMID THING


IN CASE MY MOM HASNT NOTICED IM STILL A KID! IM 19 FOR FUCKS SAKE I DONT GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE IM SO DONE WITH THEIR SHIT MY DAD COULD CARE LESS AN MOM JUST BITCHES BOUT MY SHIT WHOOP DE FUCKING DO WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DO I HAVE BETTER TO DO?! I HAVE NO JOB I HAVE NO LIFE LET ME WEAR THE FUCK I WANT WHEN I WANT I SHOULD OF JUST WORN ITSHE NEVER NOTICES TILL LAST MINUTE THEN SHE CANT DO JACK SHIT ABOUT IT

NOTHING IS OKAY NYMORE
I JUST ASDLKJFALDKJFAJDFIOAWEJFOAJEFAK;DFGKLGJKFGJAKLD; FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! ........ i just want my life to go back to normal i hate it so much right now im just tired of everything..... oh and im tired and hungry .......i am not okay i seriously hate my life i dont need shit from anyone today not even from ark dont start bitching at me when ive had enough bitching today

and so far i like it~ i wonder if il get to do something new aside rom stocking and stuff i kinda wanna make hot foods - snce joe - my boss- said he was going to introduce that to the place the sausage he was making yesterday smelled soooooo good :U i have so many stories holy shit man...xDDD welp im just chilling before i go into work todayi leave around 6:25-6:30 just to get to work at 7:00 big stuff ahead today go figure!

IIM SITTING HERE PLAYING FUCKIN MINECRAFT

ITS FUN OKAY?

AND IM TALKIN TO  prince-gabriel ON SKYPE


AN LIKE WE JUS CHATTIN N SHIT AN I FINALLY SAY ITS LIKE VIRTUAL FUCKING LEGOS

KSDJFAKLJSFALK;JFD DUDE I MEAN LIKE HOLY HELL HOW DID I NOT REALIZE THIS SOONER NO WONDER ITS SOOO FUN ITS LIKE MY CHILDHOOD IT HAS GROWN UP AND BECOME EVEN BETTER


- i am just ecstatic i know this- xDDDDD now that ive mentioned the above you wont be able to think about minecraft the same way again

im tired today

im happy i get to possibly spend time with cassidy on saturday an she sleep over x3 my mom was like does she wnt to an i was like yeah she does akfjasdfl lol lol lol

mymom cant be ina bitchy mood fooooorrrr long when company is over

FUCK

i need to clean my room yo its a mess xDDD

I WANT TO BE FUCKING HAPPY BUT NO IT KEEPS GETTIN' SAPPED AWAY BECAUSE MY MOM IS A BITCH I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD ALWAYS OVER DRAMATIC AND SHIT AND GETTING PISSY OVER THE LITTLEST THING! IM JUST ABOUT TO GET WASHED UP AND GO FUCKING DRIVE AND LEAVE MY MOM BECAUSE IVE HAD ENOUGH OF HER SHIT SHE HAS BEEN ON MY CASE SINCE YESTERDAY AND SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!@!@@!!!!! ASD;KLFJALJFKLJCZ;LFMAL FUCK FUCK FUCK!

fA for some reason wouldnt load on any of my web browsers ( Google Chrome Firefox or Internet Explorer) i think i have fixed it but im not entirely sure.... but it works for now......but apparently i havent missed much since messages are empty so thats cool, but still i hate not being able to have access to certain websites that i normally like having access to is all... bluh bluh i am so tired now xL

bothersome..... this keyboard is weird


bluh i want my shit back.......
all because my dad just HAS to use my laptop for his chool shit an he dont wanna be stuck at the big computer all day whoop de fuckin do..... akfdjal;ksdj fuck

press F5

it seems FA doesnt want to show up for me.... is it just me or is this happening to anyone else??

page is working fine for now i just dont know how long it will last

am soooo tired just want to sleep kjkhjkh;kj

literally bi-polar florida here raining on one side of the house and its sunny on the other i just dont even know


on a random note my character Ezra im rping him with one of my friends, he actually does have a feral and anthro form but thing is i dont know how to draw bird bodies wild or anthro im a little lost with it honestly -w-;; but im trying his human form for now and maybe once getting handle on that il take a stab at anthro - i honestly do not know what avian characters are called....ijdek - blah

lol

what do i fucking do?! parents want me in college college costs money, cant really get a job unless im in school just what the fuck has this world come to americas economy and work ethic is fucking stupid and backwards i swear to god........

# annoyed # pissed # i dontfucking now sdklfjakejdfkljsdf christ

im trying my hand at birds and so far i like the head namely the beak i drew its just the body how do i even??? i probably shouldnt of inkd the head yet but i did oh well

its feral .....


if anyone has any tips or examples they could share with me would be nice ;3; i havent had this itch to draw something so out of my comfort zone in quite a while

never harass me on my phone i will find a way to get back at you the ideas my mom an i come up with officially learned somethin new heh heh

didnt get enouh sleeeeeeeeeeep bluh

This person - whom i had deleted/blocked on fb andblocked their number on my phone- she keeps trying to ask me what she did wrong, and why i unfriended her. Bitch please you know what you did wrong, you put down a statement on a police report saying one thing, you then turned right back around and told COMPLETE strangers two different stories and know NOTHING about what is going on. She thinks i owe her an explanation for what i did, when reality check i dont owe her fucking shit, I got one text one evening , or rather at two in the morning and it said ' some friend you are.' i fucking laughed because I have been a friend she hasn't. Here is a guideline for being a friend and im sure most people actually fucking follow this because it fucking common sense!

1. just because you are sideways with your parents DOES NOT give you the right to make your friends the same way, keep your family shit to your fucking self its fine to vent about it but it is NOT OKAY to make others hate their parents too when they really don't!
2. this is an easy one BE FUCKING HONEST don't lie
3. this one is rather easy and again common sense, When a FRIEND leaves something rather valuable over at your house, tell them they left it, remind them that you still fucking have it, when you go to see them bring it with you, or when they come over again give it to them right off the bat! and you dont tell them you forgot it was theirs and you did something with it.
4. REAL friends dont sit and gossip about how badly others cant do shit, its not nice, yes you are entitled to gloat a little but come back down to earth hotshot you ain't the baddest shit around calm yourself the fuck down.
5. When texting a person to confirm that they will still be arriving, do not text them two minutes later asking if they are still going to come over ( i swear this is the biggest peeve of mine)
and lastly
6. When you have a falling out with a person and you simply do not wish to talk to them anymore, you have every right to remove from things that you use to contact them, IT IS HARRASMENT when you keep calling and calling and calling and fucking calling and the texts and IMing, they need to get the fucking clue that you are done with them its a thing called LIFE and SHIT HAPPENS

i havent talked to this girl in a month plus a few weeks and as soon as i un friend her she has the nerve to start this shit? I know she is trying to start a fight which i ain't giving to her, she wants an explanation when i dont OWE her a damn thing, this is annoying me so bad my body is itching namely my head.
I'm tempted to ask my Uncle - who is an officer for my city- and see what i can do about permanently getting this girl off my back, and yes this girl is bad news she causes others to be miserable and pulls the ' poor me' card when shit dont go her way. I was hurt and scared when my mothers ring went missing, hurt because i thought these two girls were my friends no hard feelings on the chick that sold the ring because i wasnt as close to her but the othe rone who went with me and put down her statement ( i was in tears the whole time i felt like shit) confirmed the ring was mine when the officer escorted us to the pawn shop ( yeah pretty shitty isnt it?) releived that it hadnt been melted down n shit after waiting a month or so i was able to retrieve said ring.
After that incicdent i havent talked to her since. And she is trying to start things again you dont like about not knowing it was mine, and you DO NOT demand i explain shit when it happens the more demanding you are the more likely i will ignore you, and even if you ask nicely after all the dmeanding you still aint getting a response because fuck you you fucking lost your chance now leave me the fuck alone.


Seriously i have enough shit in my life to deal with i dont need this too
( people need to get a clue)

- this is long as fuck im just annoyed because this woman keeps texting me even though her number is blocked ( i dont get notifications via my phone buzzing) im so done with this im trying to calm down but its hard to when your being harrased like this my life is finally picking up after that hurdle and i just ugh i most likely wont make a huge ass journal like this for a long time i just needed to vent i feel exhausted and want to nap...- bluh sorry guys youve read my stuff i dont usually go off on a tangent like this - it being this long i mean-

i know i have a check that i got from my county for jury duty....... gonna sign it over to my dad today whenever he gets home

but like im not sure if i want to spend some of it for a pack of cigarettes because i wouldnt mind havin them - and just before you even say it, it is not to look cool they actually help me mellow out with shit.....-

oddly enough im not addicted to them but i dont like getting stressed so im not sure as to what that would be considered as.......all my parents know is i dont like em xDD i need to hang with one of my fronds again =3= its been too long - sorta-


i cant make up my mind

i wanna go back to sleep but then i kimnda dont hmmmm

after having an accident with the car my head still hurts my mom did apologize because she didnt beleive me cause hitting a pothole i didnt see it when i hit it i felt it corrected the car and noticed it shimmying a little had let the wheel go a bit to feel it pull to the right which i fixed it again it stopped shimmying an it stopped pulling which was good but the steel wheel well was dented the rotor did seperate from the tire but good thing is im alright and my dad is always better about things..... i got told something that made me cry more which again didnt help my jarred head i know better but thats life its a learning process and i feel exhausted like finish up laundry take a shower and go to bed and i want sweets..... bluh