past mistakes have to rebuild trust cant beleive i let myself become blind by another persons actions.....i need to learn how to not be pursuaded so easily......

so apprently my things look better on paper and NOT colored and redone in sai........dfjlsdkjf fuck seriously they look like a 5 year old did it......... i just dont even know .....but i asked my friend cassidy bout her sun an moon signs an i have yet to gotten around to doing them which im feeling up to today i hope she is online an i can show her since art block is like broken down but curiosoity is whats breaking it an like woke up from a very interesting dream an the people that live on this planet looked cute as fuck / i swearimmore the anime drawer than anything bah/ soo im gonna try an draw that out even though it will mostly be shoulders up because how the fuck does one anatomy? an i only saw them from their shoulders up anyway so i get to practice with a bit of detail was gonna go over to my friends today BUT its actually raining and i would rather not get caught in the rain.... unless i was with my mate aaaannnnddd we were walking around not giving two fucks


pfffftttt anyway! drawing shit... wish me luck! :D

im just fixing and editing a tattoo i eventually want im mainly bored too lol https://join.me/685-981-478

i just akjfkaldjfa; :D you know you have an awesome friend when you say something and it not only does it make sense but its also a song lyric and they get what you did thar and they continue it! :3 <3 i love my friends~



hee~ im excited cause like plans with her this week!! like one on one an group stuffs too :3333 im spazzy now causeim happy - now to jus to see if my rentals will let me take car for day~

its clearly too hot here in fuckin florida to do shit! i was outside only for ten minutes and it gave me a headache and the whole week of pain and moodiness and just bluh! .....this really sucks....i just dont want to move from my comfy bed.....but things i must dooooo hhhhhh........ eeeeeee x_x

- game rage- ugh freakin things in minecraft keep killing me ;3; and right after i find the perfect place to make a home in the side of a mountain..... i mean fucking really ......i hate hunting for shit.... bah

i hate the fact it died on me but like Wacom has NOT responded to me at all an its annoying when its actually as simple as opening the tablet up carefully removing the old busted USB wires off of it an solder on new or another USB from something you dont care about anymore, but i need a little help as much as i would do it myself i dont trust myself with it since i could damage the chip that reads it

im asking if anyone knows places i could take it to to have them do it because i dont want to pay out my rear for the thing when it might jus be cheaper to buy a new one.... and since it might be even cheaper - since i really dont have a job or money and im just seeking out solutions to fix it for now until i can get a new one -which im hoping to negotiate with my dad to pay 30 an ipay the 54 for it-


so please guys help me i honestly dont know where to look or where to go to fix it temporarily

suggestions are helpful!!!!! ;3;

il start ovedr another day i suppose

my mom is weird we both are in the house im in my room she is in the room next to it, she takes a picture of my cats asleep and sends them to me..... i mean really how random is that? hahaha i find it amusing


and the bruise on my foot is blue andblack with a red mark in the center it doesnt hurt as much as long as i stay off of it il be good xD i am such a clutz

waking up this morning wasnt too bad - i actually slept better than i ever have....so after inquiring about if there was coffee in the house at all i make enough for two cups..needless to say i got one of the two cups of coffee.....the other i dropped the mug which landed on my foot - ive got a lovely painful bruise there now- coffee got on me and the floor letsjust say im still a tad sticky from it...... and it just seems to be the day that i run into everything else since bruises galore on my legs and such.......and the fuck i keep feeling my phone go off but theres NOTHING for a notification......too bad i cant change of how often it checks for email.... like i can for fb.......flkjsdkfjklfkldhgdfjga;jfdk oh well...... time to go finish filling out applicatoin...since i thought i was done but apparently not...


BAH klsdfjdsfk just as soon as i submit the freakin app its not available........:/ this makes me sad.....i mean they posted it not even 10 days ago..... i just how can i deal with this?! i thought they were always looking for people out there............ and i can only submit one app every six months....thats halfway through the year.... so i would have to wai till november to resubmit another application.....i think im going to have to actually go to the park and request to speak with someone aboutit because i really need a job and disney is a pretty cool place to be at....... i just......it sucks......if the posting is no longer available then why did they keeep the post up in the first place? i think they need to change their shit........- and i think i need to get out of florida since it sucks anyway-

this one drawing is taking forever but im almost done then i can be free FREExDD that and i submitted an application to disney which ihope i get the job becuase i need one badly i want money for stuff xD im in a better mood despite being tired

i feel like sleeping just to forget everything maybe its better thjis way i dont want to remember anything like falling asleep and forgeting everything for awhile like checking out from reality for a long time then once i feel like then is when i'll be okay again i think my lack of sleep isnt helping either.....curse my mother for that i swear........

its only 3 in the afternoon and its raining out which makes me sleepy for once good thing im not being pestered otherwise ican nap for awhile an nap with my cat which helps too since she i s a snuggle bunny an this lack od sleep cause my mom is a bitch an wont let me sleep till at least 8 i get into a pissy mood an usually bad things ensue from tha and well as soon as my mom started on treadmill i went back to bed and slept of course keeping an ea ot for whens he would stop but i ididnt have to since she mostly left me alone n shit and im not even looking at my keyboard thtas how sleepy i am bluh i think im gonna put my computetr down and take another nap i am just tired and would rather not be bitchy at anyone because of my lack of sleep jeez.......

do i put myself in this position

im shaking i dont know wht to think i want to forget about everything and relax .....why cant i push it away this time?! its bothering me.....

jury duty was interesting to say the least and i wasnt picked which is nice and i wont have to serve this year but next year is a possibility i am actually really tired been up since 5 really an didnt get home till 2:30 a quarter to three this afternoon which was nice tooi didnt have to be kept there till 5 this evening plus it started to thunder too so that was a plus il know what im doing next time


im gonna submit drawings i did which il do later


an my stomach is upset bluh i am not okay with that

Holy fuck I am bored, I'm just doodling random as Fu k shit and my phooooone sucks balls right now.... I doodled Conner an zacharie I'll post what it looks like when I get home....kinda wish I had my laptop since its allowed here

i get so frustrated with things i want to delete everything i have including myself


funny part is im not scared to do it

......feels from last night - still words cant describe how happy i was its one of those keysmash moments cause yeah.-



im not in a good mood, laughing isnt exactly something that i'm gonna do right now.....i dont know what it wrong with me today its like sometimes things are good and sometimes things are not so good i just i dont even know i dont even fuckin know i cant find the right word to describe how im feeling currently i just i want to cry, curl into a ball and just cry i dont know why but i just do.......i think everything is just making me stress and not be okay and stuff i'd sleep but i dont want to get yelled at
its like my mom always told me if im tired then nap if im hungry then eat if im bored then find something to do but how can i DO those things when she keeps yelling at me to get up to get out of bed holyhell i just i cant deal with this anymore

another thing is i love love love my bf to death an this distance thing is really starting to mess with me again an slightly worse this time i wish i had a job by now and had the money i need an i can just go an be with him it hurts i havent told my parents bout this only my brother knows and its likei dont want my parents to know im waiting yes and i jus my paitence for moany things is wearing thin now, all my life all ive EVER done is WAIT i was conditioned to be like that since i was little and in the past it has served me but now in the current present? its getting harder to wait and stay sane formany things and yet they say good things come to those who wait but how can i keep waiting when nothing is happening? i TRY to make things happen but i get shot down every damn time plans go askew and everything! i just i dont know im on a low right now and i dont know if i can get out of it...... im gonna go try not to cry though because where would that get me?

im kinda sorta taknig requests to draw someones sona in the OFF art style..... i really need/want to further my drawing skills and get better as an artist i complain - both jokingly and rather serious- that i suck at drawing an am surprised when others say they erally like what i did an the compliments help ALOT an criticism helps too like where i could improve...my tablet recently broke for good on me and i have to use paper pen pencil as my tools..... then edit it digitally in sai soooo

i really want requests ive posted the stuff i can do i guess jus note me or something of what you want im doin this to help me get better an you geta nifty pic of your sona

in the notes tho is where all the details will come in at


- i dont charge for my stuff i jus wanna do this to learn and get better like ive said.-


ignore typos please im tired this happens a lot

jus omg so many favorites on my sketch dump thing AND a new watcher i just omg my feels are just asklfjksdjf cause ive never had that before EVER and like im just happy it made my night it really did u//v//u jus omg i jus i cant ...... i cant hold all these feels eeeee!

words cannot express how i feel right now

busy day today like seriously i am sooooo wore out bluh slight headache

will more than likely goin' to Melbourne cause its antique district is supposedly like hella cool but i wouldnt know caus ive never been there and was supposed to do something with my mom on mothers day but she wasnt feel all that great so we postponed it till this weekend an il probably pick out a few trinkets n shit an bringin my camera cause who the hell knows when i'll be able to go back there?? so photos il most likely upload them to gallery then move to scraps after a bit cause yah~


an of course il be dead ass fuckin tired tomorrow nyhow LOL yay for lack of sleep an i really dont want to type anymore my light is giving me a small headache..... an have to move my cat some how....she in da way man lol - my cat go look in scraps to see what im talkin bout if you havent seen it yet-

an even though i told my mom no it ws mostly due to my head being annoyed by hair products an having to wash it out an it aggravate it further SO i think ifound loophole an i will wear my wig which is really cute an my natural hair colore too if not a little more darker than mine but its cute it works an i wont have to muck with my hair an i can stll enjoy my day i really do wnna go

ow....its only been a week an my haircut is proving weirder and weirder everyday
its like a few days an im fine after the whole itching/burning fiasco, it started to itch like mad again today....so i thought maybe its because i havent washed it in a few days....so i wash it an it stops itching then it starts again till i put hair stuff in it an it stops...... then of course i go about my day with said hair product in it an i just leave it alone its not till i get home that my tacky glue isnt dry but yet the spikes still stood..... it left a blue sticky stuff on my wall...thats gonna be a pain to get off later oh well.... so i wash my out my hairagain an the maddening itch came back - screeches- oh my fucking god i cant beleive it CAME BACK i scrubbed for probably thirty minutes with shampoo and another thirty with conditioner while rinsing it all out for twenty minutes in between..... i dont know what to do i dont know if its cause i need to brush my hair more - which is nigh impossible cayuse its soooo short im just tired and bitching an yeah lol il worry bout shit later im jus gonna search for an answer or somthin idk -sighs- make it stop ;3;

fuckin fuck i give up - laughs because of exhaustion- toooooo much bullshit i know i know i fuckin know ihad a job in the bag but issuesssss came up an i wouldnt of been able to adapt very well...... i just kdjfkdjfak FAK st.cloud area is just terrible florida in general is just it fucking sucks i have no clue why i cant seem to get a job i even got an email saying im not qualified for shit WTF seriously im just giving up unless something GOOD comes my way i dont know what the ever loving fuck to do! just faeksdlfjkljdfkdskfjjshdfhasdfkjadf
am glad my parents have backed off because IT AIN'T HOW IT WAS BACK THEN HONESTLY i just dont fuckin get it why cant it be easy to get a damn job like it was when my parents were hunting n shit i jus it fuckin baffles me to no fucking end - an i sound like the country southern roots i was raised around- christ i just want to fuckin work is that so much to ask for?

so apparently since my bottom lip dried out - i sleep with my mouth open allergies make me do that- the skin was peeling really bad and whoop de doo i have a split on the left side of it, so i thought lets not deal with the dried out lip lets peel off the skin......well, that went okay for a couple of minutes until it started to swell - new skin it bulges out when its not being kept under the tightpull of the outer skin- it looks like i got hit in the mouth or i that i bit down on it its not really a pretty sight actually i just try to keep it hidden, its bothered my mom for a while but it happens actually the only hard part will be is to keep my cat off my mouth....she likes neosporin.....which as amusing it is she still takin meds forone an two i know where that nose has been an i certainly dont want it on my mouth at all lol xD