Check out my friend's stories!
Posted 5 months agoA good friend of mine's started posting his stories online. If you enjoy my stuff (spanking, magical theory, beefy nudity, too much worldbuilding, nigh-constant embarrassment of big men) then you'll love his too.
Give him a look... here!
renarddetodd
Give him a look... here!
renarddetoddWhere you can read my Spanksgiving 2024 stories
Posted 12 months agoI'll be posting them in batches here eventually, but if you'd like to follow along each day you can read them here first: https://docs.google.com/document/d/.....it?usp=sharing
I always announce it on my bluesky when a new chapter goes up (usually in the morning): https://bsky.app/profile/manicorn.bsky.social
For anyone who doesn't know, Spanksgiving is an M/M spanking-themed event I run with a different prompt for every day of November. This year I'm writing an original fantasy story in 30 parts. Which is pretty RAD!
My wonderful husband is also taking part this year like he has every year before, and you can read his entries over on his account! He's actually uploading TWO PER DAY along with lots of art:
Once3333
I always announce it on my bluesky when a new chapter goes up (usually in the morning): https://bsky.app/profile/manicorn.bsky.social
For anyone who doesn't know, Spanksgiving is an M/M spanking-themed event I run with a different prompt for every day of November. This year I'm writing an original fantasy story in 30 parts. Which is pretty RAD!
My wonderful husband is also taking part this year like he has every year before, and you can read his entries over on his account! He's actually uploading TWO PER DAY along with lots of art:
Once3333The Spank Bank Podcast - episode 5
Posted a year agoYou knew I had a second podcast, right? This one is focused on reviewing and discussing M/M spanking fiction with a different guest each month. For my latest episode I had on Sleepybap and the MMSA author Hazer and we reviewed his formative humiliation series 'Wrestling Match'!
Give it a listen (and check out the backlog while you're at it) here: https://soundcloud.com/thespankbank-774333226
Give it a listen (and check out the backlog while you're at it) here: https://soundcloud.com/thespankbank-774333226
JRPG Month Draws Nigh!
Posted a year agoI don't usually advertise my patreon here, but I should probably get into the habit because it's been hopping lately. This month I'll be posting EIGHT new stories to it, all focused on different Japanese RPG characters getting spanked and humiliated. You like your Final Fantasies? We got those! You like your Breath of Fires? We got those too! You like your Suikodens? We even got one of those! Whatever your tastes, if you like fantasy hunks in peril you'll probably like this update.
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
And this isn't the first themed month I've done! Previous to that I did a whole month of X-Men stories (as you probably noticed in my recent uploads here). The month after that I did a whole month of Disney stories, which you'll start seeing here soon. Next month I'm thinking Fighting Games. Focusing this way helps keep my adhd brain in check, lol.
What themes do YOU want me to hit next? Sound off in the comments. And oh, you might want to consider subscribing while you're at it. -;]
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
And this isn't the first themed month I've done! Previous to that I did a whole month of X-Men stories (as you probably noticed in my recent uploads here). The month after that I did a whole month of Disney stories, which you'll start seeing here soon. Next month I'm thinking Fighting Games. Focusing this way helps keep my adhd brain in check, lol.
What themes do YOU want me to hit next? Sound off in the comments. And oh, you might want to consider subscribing while you're at it. -;]
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
MFF!
Posted 2 years agoOh yeah, I'll be there.
Let me know if you need a spanking, lol
Let me know if you need a spanking, lol
Follow me on Blue Sky
Posted 2 years agoTwo new things
Posted 4 years agoHey guys! First of all, I've got a new twitter account at: https://twitter.com/Spankicorn The old one is no more. So please follow me over at Spankicorn if you haven't already!
Second of all, I've started up a youtube channel that posts old manservice clip from anime and games. Check that one out over at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4.....kxnClhruesrZ8Q
Second of all, I've started up a youtube channel that posts old manservice clip from anime and games. Check that one out over at: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4.....kxnClhruesrZ8Q
Gay Gargoyles-themed podcast: starring me and a friend!
Posted 4 years agoHave YOU been hungering to hear two pervy furs discuss cartoons that turned them on as kids, starting with that perennial 90s classic: Disney's Gargoyles?
Of course you have!
I and
alistairalderman go episode by episode in this journey of which gargoyle is the fuckiest. Is it Lex? Is it Broadway? Is it Hudson? There's only one way to know, and that's by listening.
Now up to our third episode! -:D
https://soundcloud.com/theloinclothhour/
Of course you have!
I and
alistairalderman go episode by episode in this journey of which gargoyle is the fuckiest. Is it Lex? Is it Broadway? Is it Hudson? There's only one way to know, and that's by listening.Now up to our third episode! -:D
https://soundcloud.com/theloinclothhour/
New Patreon
Posted 6 years agoThat's right kids! I'm opening up a patreon to showcase my writing. If you've enjoyed my work in the past, consider joining! You'll get an early look at what I'm working on, and a chance to vote on a new victim every month. Subscriptions start at only a dollar!
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
https://www.patreon.com/manicorn
Shinies
Posted 6 years agoWell, like many of ya I've enabled that newfangled tipping feature in my settings.
I realize I've always been more of a commissioner than a true artist here, but I have been hurting pretty bad for money lately. If any of my silly, dumb, horny, embarrassing stories have given you either a laugh or a fapp--a tip would really brighten my day.
It's like that famous unicorn saying!
"Just the tip, bro... Just the tip."
I realize I've always been more of a commissioner than a true artist here, but I have been hurting pretty bad for money lately. If any of my silly, dumb, horny, embarrassing stories have given you either a laugh or a fapp--a tip would really brighten my day.
It's like that famous unicorn saying!
"Just the tip, bro... Just the tip."
BLFC Bound
Posted 7 years agoGuess I should put a journal up for this already, eh?
Yup yup, will be in Reno in a few days. The last 'fun' thing I let myself do before moving back up to NY in a few weeks. Gonna be rooming with
MonstrousRick and
John_Sanders under the rule that pants are banned in our room. Totally up for meeting, chilling, and spankin' new peeps! So if you see a tall guy walking around with an Inorog badge don't be afraid to say hi before turning around and presenting ass.
Not really sure what I'll be doing yet. Figure I'll just be going with the flow and see where it takes me~
If you'd like further updates I recommend following my twitter where I'll have a more-or-less steady stream of blather, pics, etc. It's also the best way to get in touch with me since I'll get the notifications on my phone. Hope to see lots of y'all there!
Yup yup, will be in Reno in a few days. The last 'fun' thing I let myself do before moving back up to NY in a few weeks. Gonna be rooming with
MonstrousRick and
John_Sanders under the rule that pants are banned in our room. Totally up for meeting, chilling, and spankin' new peeps! So if you see a tall guy walking around with an Inorog badge don't be afraid to say hi before turning around and presenting ass.Not really sure what I'll be doing yet. Figure I'll just be going with the flow and see where it takes me~
If you'd like further updates I recommend following my twitter where I'll have a more-or-less steady stream of blather, pics, etc. It's also the best way to get in touch with me since I'll get the notifications on my phone. Hope to see lots of y'all there!
MFF Onward!
Posted 8 years agoYep, I'll be taking part in Midwest Fur Fest this year. My first time there! I'll be rooming with the studly
Glimmerstomp and will be checking out the art gallery, checking out panels, and just in general having a nice, hopefully relaxing time.
Already got a long list of asses I gotta slap there, but if anyone wants to meet up just let me know! I'm totally down for some hangouts. Just be warned, I'll be bringing a few of my paddles along...
Glimmerstomp and will be checking out the art gallery, checking out panels, and just in general having a nice, hopefully relaxing time.Already got a long list of asses I gotta slap there, but if anyone wants to meet up just let me know! I'm totally down for some hangouts. Just be warned, I'll be bringing a few of my paddles along...
Thursday Evening TMI
Posted 8 years agoYo peeps!
Feeling a bit bored. Feel free to send over some questions.
My four MAIN characters are all available! Ask 'em anything under the son!
We've got Inorog, the strong and gruff warrior.
Captain Foo, the pirate captain searching for booty!
Tank, the playful pro-wrestler!
And lastly, Mischief the Spankomancer makes his debut!
(at least... I think his name is Mischief. Giving him some questions to answer might allow me to brainstorm on his character a bit ;])
Feeling a bit bored. Feel free to send over some questions.
My four MAIN characters are all available! Ask 'em anything under the son!
We've got Inorog, the strong and gruff warrior.
Captain Foo, the pirate captain searching for booty!
Tank, the playful pro-wrestler!
And lastly, Mischief the Spankomancer makes his debut!
(at least... I think his name is Mischief. Giving him some questions to answer might allow me to brainstorm on his character a bit ;])
Something New: Short Fiction for only $5
Posted 8 years agoSo my latest couple commission ideas have been a bust. I'd like to work on longer stories, but each time I try my workplace increases my hours to the point where I have no spare time anymore to write them. It's left me feeling frustrated and creatively empty. And judging from previous experience I doubt things will be improving there any time soon. (I'd still love to do the Strip Poker idea and I have everyone's character submissions saved, it'll just have to wait until my work eases up a bit)
But I do want to still be writing... I just don't feel right when I'm not. So here's something I can do in the meantime. Short, quick, spanking-themed Rule 34 drabbles, less than a page in length. Sorta in this style: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19348779/ Mini-fics I can hammer out in one sitting and for a very cheap price.
Any fictional guy is up for grabs, but my own preferences tend to lean towards the overly masculine/heavy bruiser types. You offer me a spanker, a spankee, and a short (optional) prompt and let me handle the rest. Crack fics and random crossovers are perfectly fine as well!
Some examples...
"From Street Fighter, Ryu giving Ken a spanking. Ken teased Ryu one too many times while they were training together under a waterfall in skimpy fundoshi. Exasperated, Ryu takes his best friend over his knee for a stern lesson."
"Juggernaut and Hulk from Marvel Comics. During a superpowered fight in downtown NYC, Hulk's anger gets the best of him and he sees RED! Stunned by a heavy blow and slung over some rubble, Juggernaut's pants are pulled down and his ass is soon colored to match."
"Goliath and Griff from Disney's Gargoyles. Griff is zapped by a wizard's spell that hypnotizes him and causes him to turn on Goliath--and spank him. Goliath is caught unprepared by the betrayal and can only squirm in fury with his buttocks turning red as the evil wizard makes his escape."
"Iron Bull from Dragon Age and Guts from Berserk are having an arm-wrestling match. Whoever loses gets spanked."
...and so on! If anyone's interested in buying one (or more than one) of these feel free to either leave a comment here or send me a note! Payments will be done through paypal. And once I write enough of them I'll probably post them in a batch to my gallery, too. Looking forward to seeing what y'all come up with!
But I do want to still be writing... I just don't feel right when I'm not. So here's something I can do in the meantime. Short, quick, spanking-themed Rule 34 drabbles, less than a page in length. Sorta in this style: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19348779/ Mini-fics I can hammer out in one sitting and for a very cheap price.
Any fictional guy is up for grabs, but my own preferences tend to lean towards the overly masculine/heavy bruiser types. You offer me a spanker, a spankee, and a short (optional) prompt and let me handle the rest. Crack fics and random crossovers are perfectly fine as well!
Some examples...
"From Street Fighter, Ryu giving Ken a spanking. Ken teased Ryu one too many times while they were training together under a waterfall in skimpy fundoshi. Exasperated, Ryu takes his best friend over his knee for a stern lesson."
"Juggernaut and Hulk from Marvel Comics. During a superpowered fight in downtown NYC, Hulk's anger gets the best of him and he sees RED! Stunned by a heavy blow and slung over some rubble, Juggernaut's pants are pulled down and his ass is soon colored to match."
"Goliath and Griff from Disney's Gargoyles. Griff is zapped by a wizard's spell that hypnotizes him and causes him to turn on Goliath--and spank him. Goliath is caught unprepared by the betrayal and can only squirm in fury with his buttocks turning red as the evil wizard makes his escape."
"Iron Bull from Dragon Age and Guts from Berserk are having an arm-wrestling match. Whoever loses gets spanked."
...and so on! If anyone's interested in buying one (or more than one) of these feel free to either leave a comment here or send me a note! Payments will be done through paypal. And once I write enough of them I'll probably post them in a batch to my gallery, too. Looking forward to seeing what y'all come up with!
Mulling over some more ideas for story commission offers...
Posted 9 years agoWell, my last offer 'Inorog the Bounty Hunter' ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22349606/ ) didn't get as much response as I had hoped, so I'm considering other possibilities for writing commissions. The Bounty Hunter offer will remain open, but these alternatives will exist as well. The main difference is these story slots would be for multiple characters. Imagine like a big YCH auction with lots of guys taking part... but for a sexy story instead!
Two possibilities I'm thinking of include:
1) Strip Poker! At least four characters, $12 each. Plot would be the standard porno scenario of "bunch of guys playing poker, but find out none have money to bet with". One bright guy comes up with the idea of betting their clothes. And, once they get naked, the stakes get even higher... BEWARE OF CHEATERS! If a bunch of guys are interested length of story might increase. Conversely, if we can't reach the designated minimum number of four, Captain Foo might be optionally included to round the number up.
2) Dungeon Crawl! Four characters, $12 each. This one would likely take place after the comic being drawn by Veldismalo is completed ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22278925/ ). Another group of adventurers is gathered to defeat the dreaded Spankomancer (who would get a name and increased depth in this second appearance). Optionally lead by Inorog, they brave the perverted traps and lewd minions he has surrounded himself with, which all want to get at the adventurer's backsides.
What do you guys think? These are just some rough ideas I've been having. Would anyone be interested in putting their character into a story like this? Trying to gauge interest and see if I need to adjust anything before offering them as a deal!
Two possibilities I'm thinking of include:
1) Strip Poker! At least four characters, $12 each. Plot would be the standard porno scenario of "bunch of guys playing poker, but find out none have money to bet with". One bright guy comes up with the idea of betting their clothes. And, once they get naked, the stakes get even higher... BEWARE OF CHEATERS! If a bunch of guys are interested length of story might increase. Conversely, if we can't reach the designated minimum number of four, Captain Foo might be optionally included to round the number up.
2) Dungeon Crawl! Four characters, $12 each. This one would likely take place after the comic being drawn by Veldismalo is completed ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22278925/ ). Another group of adventurers is gathered to defeat the dreaded Spankomancer (who would get a name and increased depth in this second appearance). Optionally lead by Inorog, they brave the perverted traps and lewd minions he has surrounded himself with, which all want to get at the adventurer's backsides.
What do you guys think? These are just some rough ideas I've been having. Would anyone be interested in putting their character into a story like this? Trying to gauge interest and see if I need to adjust anything before offering them as a deal!
New Comic Startin'!
Posted 9 years ago'Sup guys! In case anyone's interested, a short comic written by yours truly and drawn by
Veldismalo, starring Inorog and a few of his friends, is starting up! It's called IN THE LAIR OF THE SPANKOMANCER and contains, well... the sort of content you can expect from me. I won't be submitting the pages in my gallery until the whole thing is completed, but you can follow along on Veldismalo's page to see each one as it gets posted!
You can start with the first page right here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22278925/
Veldismalo, starring Inorog and a few of his friends, is starting up! It's called IN THE LAIR OF THE SPANKOMANCER and contains, well... the sort of content you can expect from me. I won't be submitting the pages in my gallery until the whole thing is completed, but you can follow along on Veldismalo's page to see each one as it gets posted!You can start with the first page right here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22278925/
Give a warm welcome to my buddy!
Posted 9 years agoSo my friend Scott (the other half of the Dudes Spankin' Dudes podcast: https://soundcloud.com/user-30408252) has recently discovered his furry side and is dipping a toe into the fandom. For his first character he's selected a big, powerful hippo with a beefy, bubble bottom who loves to be dominated, but only if the predator proves worthy.
He's already written quite an extensive bio on him, for those interested: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22135625/
Expect lots of spanking, bondage, forced fucking, and other such treatments! So if you're a fan of those things (and if you're not--then why are you following me?) give him a watch, if ya like! Or even better, stick around and leave him a friendly shout. He's new and looking to make some friends. ;]
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/redspkscott/
He's already written quite an extensive bio on him, for those interested: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22135625/
Expect lots of spanking, bondage, forced fucking, and other such treatments! So if you're a fan of those things (and if you're not--then why are you following me?) give him a watch, if ya like! Or even better, stick around and leave him a friendly shout. He's new and looking to make some friends. ;]
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/redspkscott/
On unicorns, self-identity, and the bad side of power play
Posted 9 years ago...So lately I've been feeling increasingly frustrated.
And unfortunately when I get frustrated I often don't know the root cause. That adds to the frustration! It's like a mystery to solve. I know that something's wrong, something's not satisfying me... but not sure exactly what. But sometimes writing about it helps. So this will be an investigative journal as well as an FYI journal, as I try to figure this out for myself.
But, first and foremost, I've been experiencing certain anxieties about Inorog.
In particular about how people perceive him. When I initially created Ino I wanted to give him the presence of a strong warrior. A champion gladiator. An intimidating force to be reckoned with. However, I feel like he's not seen that way. All too often I try to stress his martial prowess, either through comments here, on twitter, in RPs with friends, or on livestreams, and I'm greeted with responses making light of him, pointing out the numerous times he's been fucked, the times he's been tied up, spanked, or otherwise taken advantage of. It was never my intention when commissioning art to make Inorog seem like less of a man, or an incompetent fighter, but I feel like that's often how he's regarded.
(In fact, any time he does get dominated I typically stress his strength beforehand--because that makes it hotter for me. A strong guy being punished is sexy, while the punishment of one who's weak is... well, there's no fun in that for me)
I admit it's a trap of my own making. I love role-reversal, and the strong, gruff Inorog is the perfect candidate for it. I love submission of men who don't necessarily know they're submissive--such as when Inorog is often turned on by his captivities. My gallery is littered with examples of such instances. I also love mixing the hyper-masculine qualities of the "manicorn" with the typically-feminine aspects of the unicorn. It allows me to make fun of both as I see fit! However, some see my comments without context and assume I'm mocking his masculinity in particular, rather than toxic masculinity (or femininity) in general. I like to make jokes at my characters' expense because I like to laugh at myself. And sometimes my sense of whimsy runs away with me.
But lately... I feel like it's been getting to be too much. The jokes have started taking on a hurtful tone in my mind--despite knowing it's not the giver's intent--and I'm unsure now how to fix it. Mostly I worry that Inorog is becoming a joke himself.
Not sure why I feel this way about him in particular. Inorog's hardly the first guy I've had who got raped often. Take Slake for instance. But I think the difference is that Slake and the oni were always just characters. I always made sure to stress that they weren't me. Captain Foo, Tank, Argus, etc... those guys are all just guys I made up. Part of me is imbued in all of them, but they don't represent myself as a person. Inorog though... somewhere alone the line he became different. People call me by his name now. I'm known as 'Manicorn' on twitter and use his likeness for my avatar. He's me on telegram, too. People talk to me as if I'm him, and I answer in-character without thinking twice. People see Inorog and associate him with me. They see him as me. He is my... how do you say... fursona?
The concept of fursona has always been super strange to me--this idealized fantasy self in anthropomorphic animal form. I used to pride myself on not having one. I never felt the need to anthropomorphize myself. I thought I was just fine the way I was. Or maybe I just didn't like myself enough to want to anthropomorphize in the first place.
But, if I had to have a 'fursona'... I'm glad it's him, even if we're not really anything alike.
Because you see, I fucking love Inorog. Everyone who knows me is aware of this. I love his concept. I love his character and overblown personality. I love the hilarious, dumb, piercing way he sees the world. I love that he's mine. I am all over my own character 24/7 in the most narcissistic way possible, and I don't care. Inorog is astoundingly great and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.
But that might be the problem. I've become too attached. And moreover, I'm starting to see him as an extension of myself too. So when all these little insults pile up, all these little defeats and moments of weakness and defilements happen... I feel like it's not just happening to Inorog, but to me too. And I used to get off on that. It fed my exhibitionist streak. It was a way to display my sexuality without displaying myself, using Inorog as my stand-in. And I think I do still get off on it. It's just, like I said before...
It's just been getting to be a bit too much.
The worst part is, I've increasingly been feeling, for lack of a better word, bullied, even when it's at the hands of close friends--just because it feels like a non-stop torrent. Everyone knows my kinks. Everyone knows my turn-ons. And they use them against me more or less ruthlessly. And this feels like such a dumb thing to complain about, right? "Oh boohoo, my friends like to turn me on because they know what I like." But, well, one of the big kinks is power-play. And the kind of power-play I unabashedly have enjoyed best up to this point is the kind where dominants battle for control. Where the winner takes all, and the loser is nothing but a bitch made to service him. Where 'submissive' is the ultimate insult. And, all too often in contests like that, I let Inorog lose. Because, y'know, he's a hot loser. But then when you factor in that more and more I've been seeing Inorog as kinda-sorta-myself... and that there's carte blanche to inflict debasement on him...
Do you kinda see where I'm going with this?
The nature of domination and submission is a fascinating one to me, and one I enjoy exploring. But it's different when it's with characters of mine versus reflecting on me personally. And with people--strangers--making assumptions on what I enjoy based on what I've allowed Inorog to do. Rather than delight in his downfall like I always did before, now I feel sleazy after a session, or worse, empty.
The last few weeks in particular it just got really heavy. And I think a large factor is also the fact I've been overworked for months prior to this. I get only one day off a week, and that's usually spent desperately trying to make time with my first ever boyfriend, or working on podcast stuff (Dudes Spankin' Dudes hit its fourth episode recently!) I haven't had any time to myself to rest, to recover, for... ages. And that's put me under a great deal of stress which has added to these negative feelings.
Another likely possibility is that my sexuality has taken a turn towards more 'dominant' lately, but I've been too exhausted to properly dominate anybody. Which, again, leads to mental frustration.
Power play is great, but there's naturally a line between fantasy and reality, and between roleplay and reality. Lately, with me, I feel like the lines have been getting merged. And it's no one's fault but my own, really. But I think I need to step back for a bit. To get my head screwed back on straight. It's been bad enough that negotiating who tops and who bottoms in commissions with friends have stressed me out to actual panic attacks. Unhealthy!
What does this mean for you guys? Probably not a lot. I'm not really asking you to behave any differently. But just... go a little easy on me for a bit, eh? I don't have the strength right now to fight anybody. Rather than the host of sexy enemies and shit-talking rivals I've amassed for myself, for just a little bit... I need friends instead.
If you got down this far, then thanks. I realize I ramble a lot. Like I said, I'm trying to figure this out myself.
How do you guys feel? Do you see Inorog as a joke? Has anyone else ever experienced getting 'too close' to one of their characters? Do you have any advice or solutions?
And unfortunately when I get frustrated I often don't know the root cause. That adds to the frustration! It's like a mystery to solve. I know that something's wrong, something's not satisfying me... but not sure exactly what. But sometimes writing about it helps. So this will be an investigative journal as well as an FYI journal, as I try to figure this out for myself.
But, first and foremost, I've been experiencing certain anxieties about Inorog.
In particular about how people perceive him. When I initially created Ino I wanted to give him the presence of a strong warrior. A champion gladiator. An intimidating force to be reckoned with. However, I feel like he's not seen that way. All too often I try to stress his martial prowess, either through comments here, on twitter, in RPs with friends, or on livestreams, and I'm greeted with responses making light of him, pointing out the numerous times he's been fucked, the times he's been tied up, spanked, or otherwise taken advantage of. It was never my intention when commissioning art to make Inorog seem like less of a man, or an incompetent fighter, but I feel like that's often how he's regarded.
(In fact, any time he does get dominated I typically stress his strength beforehand--because that makes it hotter for me. A strong guy being punished is sexy, while the punishment of one who's weak is... well, there's no fun in that for me)
I admit it's a trap of my own making. I love role-reversal, and the strong, gruff Inorog is the perfect candidate for it. I love submission of men who don't necessarily know they're submissive--such as when Inorog is often turned on by his captivities. My gallery is littered with examples of such instances. I also love mixing the hyper-masculine qualities of the "manicorn" with the typically-feminine aspects of the unicorn. It allows me to make fun of both as I see fit! However, some see my comments without context and assume I'm mocking his masculinity in particular, rather than toxic masculinity (or femininity) in general. I like to make jokes at my characters' expense because I like to laugh at myself. And sometimes my sense of whimsy runs away with me.
But lately... I feel like it's been getting to be too much. The jokes have started taking on a hurtful tone in my mind--despite knowing it's not the giver's intent--and I'm unsure now how to fix it. Mostly I worry that Inorog is becoming a joke himself.
Not sure why I feel this way about him in particular. Inorog's hardly the first guy I've had who got raped often. Take Slake for instance. But I think the difference is that Slake and the oni were always just characters. I always made sure to stress that they weren't me. Captain Foo, Tank, Argus, etc... those guys are all just guys I made up. Part of me is imbued in all of them, but they don't represent myself as a person. Inorog though... somewhere alone the line he became different. People call me by his name now. I'm known as 'Manicorn' on twitter and use his likeness for my avatar. He's me on telegram, too. People talk to me as if I'm him, and I answer in-character without thinking twice. People see Inorog and associate him with me. They see him as me. He is my... how do you say... fursona?
The concept of fursona has always been super strange to me--this idealized fantasy self in anthropomorphic animal form. I used to pride myself on not having one. I never felt the need to anthropomorphize myself. I thought I was just fine the way I was. Or maybe I just didn't like myself enough to want to anthropomorphize in the first place.
But, if I had to have a 'fursona'... I'm glad it's him, even if we're not really anything alike.
Because you see, I fucking love Inorog. Everyone who knows me is aware of this. I love his concept. I love his character and overblown personality. I love the hilarious, dumb, piercing way he sees the world. I love that he's mine. I am all over my own character 24/7 in the most narcissistic way possible, and I don't care. Inorog is astoundingly great and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise.
But that might be the problem. I've become too attached. And moreover, I'm starting to see him as an extension of myself too. So when all these little insults pile up, all these little defeats and moments of weakness and defilements happen... I feel like it's not just happening to Inorog, but to me too. And I used to get off on that. It fed my exhibitionist streak. It was a way to display my sexuality without displaying myself, using Inorog as my stand-in. And I think I do still get off on it. It's just, like I said before...
It's just been getting to be a bit too much.
The worst part is, I've increasingly been feeling, for lack of a better word, bullied, even when it's at the hands of close friends--just because it feels like a non-stop torrent. Everyone knows my kinks. Everyone knows my turn-ons. And they use them against me more or less ruthlessly. And this feels like such a dumb thing to complain about, right? "Oh boohoo, my friends like to turn me on because they know what I like." But, well, one of the big kinks is power-play. And the kind of power-play I unabashedly have enjoyed best up to this point is the kind where dominants battle for control. Where the winner takes all, and the loser is nothing but a bitch made to service him. Where 'submissive' is the ultimate insult. And, all too often in contests like that, I let Inorog lose. Because, y'know, he's a hot loser. But then when you factor in that more and more I've been seeing Inorog as kinda-sorta-myself... and that there's carte blanche to inflict debasement on him...
Do you kinda see where I'm going with this?
The nature of domination and submission is a fascinating one to me, and one I enjoy exploring. But it's different when it's with characters of mine versus reflecting on me personally. And with people--strangers--making assumptions on what I enjoy based on what I've allowed Inorog to do. Rather than delight in his downfall like I always did before, now I feel sleazy after a session, or worse, empty.
The last few weeks in particular it just got really heavy. And I think a large factor is also the fact I've been overworked for months prior to this. I get only one day off a week, and that's usually spent desperately trying to make time with my first ever boyfriend, or working on podcast stuff (Dudes Spankin' Dudes hit its fourth episode recently!) I haven't had any time to myself to rest, to recover, for... ages. And that's put me under a great deal of stress which has added to these negative feelings.
Another likely possibility is that my sexuality has taken a turn towards more 'dominant' lately, but I've been too exhausted to properly dominate anybody. Which, again, leads to mental frustration.
Power play is great, but there's naturally a line between fantasy and reality, and between roleplay and reality. Lately, with me, I feel like the lines have been getting merged. And it's no one's fault but my own, really. But I think I need to step back for a bit. To get my head screwed back on straight. It's been bad enough that negotiating who tops and who bottoms in commissions with friends have stressed me out to actual panic attacks. Unhealthy!
What does this mean for you guys? Probably not a lot. I'm not really asking you to behave any differently. But just... go a little easy on me for a bit, eh? I don't have the strength right now to fight anybody. Rather than the host of sexy enemies and shit-talking rivals I've amassed for myself, for just a little bit... I need friends instead.
If you got down this far, then thanks. I realize I ramble a lot. Like I said, I'm trying to figure this out myself.
How do you guys feel? Do you see Inorog as a joke? Has anyone else ever experienced getting 'too close' to one of their characters? Do you have any advice or solutions?
TMI Tuesday
Posted 9 years agoGo ahead, ask me your deep burning questions!
You can also address a question to any of my characters!
You can also address a question to any of my characters!
New Podcast - Dudes Spankin' Dudes
Posted 9 years agoWhoops, realized I hadn't plugged it here yet!
Me and my friend Scott have started a podcast together where we sit around and talk about spanking stuff! It's our first time doing something like this so it's been a lot of fun figuring out audio stuff and whatnot. We're already up to our second episode!
We talk about everything from spanking porn, our own experiences in the scene, famous celebrities who need a spankin', and lots of other stuff! (You can also experience the second-hand embarrassment of listening to my speaking voice :D)
Give it a listen if you like! We also love to take the time to answer any questions we get on the show!
https://soundcloud.com/user-30408252
Me and my friend Scott have started a podcast together where we sit around and talk about spanking stuff! It's our first time doing something like this so it's been a lot of fun figuring out audio stuff and whatnot. We're already up to our second episode!
We talk about everything from spanking porn, our own experiences in the scene, famous celebrities who need a spankin', and lots of other stuff! (You can also experience the second-hand embarrassment of listening to my speaking voice :D)
Give it a listen if you like! We also love to take the time to answer any questions we get on the show!
https://soundcloud.com/user-30408252
AnthroCon ahoy!
Posted 9 years agoThat's right folks! I'm gonna be attending AC this year. My first furry convention. I'm a little nervous. :D;;;
Anyone else going? I want to meet up with EVERYONE!!!!
Anyone else going? I want to meet up with EVERYONE!!!!
Friend needs help!
Posted 10 years agoMy buddy
Lyceum is in need of some cash for the month and is offering commissions. I can tell you sincerely that he is an EXCELLENT writer and well-worth the price! For example he wrote two stories set in my Oniverse (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10141668/ & http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13804884/) which I still sometimes revisit for... reasons. *cough*
Anyway! He likes a lot of the same stuff I (and by extension, presumably, you, dear reader) do. Spanking, big gruff macho guys, bondage, humiliation, monster men. You know, the fun stuff! He's also got a serious thing for bears. So if you're into any combination of those I'd highly recommend giving his work a try. You definitely won't regret it. :B
Lyceum is in need of some cash for the month and is offering commissions. I can tell you sincerely that he is an EXCELLENT writer and well-worth the price! For example he wrote two stories set in my Oniverse (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10141668/ & http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13804884/) which I still sometimes revisit for... reasons. *cough*Anyway! He likes a lot of the same stuff I (and by extension, presumably, you, dear reader) do. Spanking, big gruff macho guys, bondage, humiliation, monster men. You know, the fun stuff! He's also got a serious thing for bears. So if you're into any combination of those I'd highly recommend giving his work a try. You definitely won't regret it. :B
Reopening Story Commissions!
Posted 10 years agoI've got no money! You can help solve that and also get a sexy story, if you want!
Pricing and other details here: http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/croup/
Pricing and other details here: http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/croup/
Drinking Contest! Aleix VS Captain Foo
Posted 10 years agoSo
greencubus and I are having a drinking contest between our two characters here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7187443/ It's his big panda wrestler against my fu-dog pirate captain! And whoever passes out first is gonna wake up naked and bound before the whole crew for a good spanking from the victor. So get over there and vote on how many drinks we get, mateys!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7187443/
greencubus and I are having a drinking contest between our two characters here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7187443/ It's his big panda wrestler against my fu-dog pirate captain! And whoever passes out first is gonna wake up naked and bound before the whole crew for a good spanking from the victor. So get over there and vote on how many drinks we get, mateys!http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7187443/
Life update
Posted 10 years agoSo!
I've had a busy month.
Let's start with the most recent thing that's happened! I've moved out of
Maryn and
Holzer's home and into a place of my own. I have three(!) new roommates, but luckily I barely ever see any of them. Success! I was very stressed for a while looking for a place to live but it seems to have all worked out, and the rent ain't bad either. Plus I have my own AC! Maryn, Holzer, and I are still great friends and always will be so there.
I've also started two(!!) new jobs! I am now a proud employee of Dollar General and Toys 'R Us. Just in time for... the holidays. Ohhhhh boy.
Figuring out bus routes to get places is fun! I've also recently purchased a bike to help get around the city and as a result my legs are now sore all the time. BUT. I will soon have a great ass thanks to exercise. Biker bod! That's how it works, right?
Other misc events include me getting obsessed with Puzzle & Dragons,
badcoyote's Carnevil streams, and Snapple Peach Tea. I'm also thinking of giving my 'Jockstrap Bandit' character Snagger an anthro form so he can begin stealing underwear even from other furs. Question is what species. I know I want a lizard. So possibly a gecko, an iguana, or a chameleon.
Hope everyone else has been having a good October! I have to admit I miss the leaves changing colors that I would have gotten to see up north. Autumn has always been my favorite season and it's just not the same down here when the temps are still in the 70s every day...
About the wrestling tryout raffle, the winner was
Greencubus. Sorry to have delayed so much on the announcement. Things went a bit haywire for a while there! But I'm now confident that things can be rebuilt, that new beginnings can really start, and that the cards don't always lie. Thanks to all my friends for supporting me so much lately. I love you all.
And that's all for now!
I've had a busy month.
Let's start with the most recent thing that's happened! I've moved out of
Maryn and
Holzer's home and into a place of my own. I have three(!) new roommates, but luckily I barely ever see any of them. Success! I was very stressed for a while looking for a place to live but it seems to have all worked out, and the rent ain't bad either. Plus I have my own AC! Maryn, Holzer, and I are still great friends and always will be so there.I've also started two(!!) new jobs! I am now a proud employee of Dollar General and Toys 'R Us. Just in time for... the holidays. Ohhhhh boy.
Figuring out bus routes to get places is fun! I've also recently purchased a bike to help get around the city and as a result my legs are now sore all the time. BUT. I will soon have a great ass thanks to exercise. Biker bod! That's how it works, right?
Other misc events include me getting obsessed with Puzzle & Dragons,
badcoyote's Carnevil streams, and Snapple Peach Tea. I'm also thinking of giving my 'Jockstrap Bandit' character Snagger an anthro form so he can begin stealing underwear even from other furs. Question is what species. I know I want a lizard. So possibly a gecko, an iguana, or a chameleon.Hope everyone else has been having a good October! I have to admit I miss the leaves changing colors that I would have gotten to see up north. Autumn has always been my favorite season and it's just not the same down here when the temps are still in the 70s every day...
About the wrestling tryout raffle, the winner was
Greencubus. Sorry to have delayed so much on the announcement. Things went a bit haywire for a while there! But I'm now confident that things can be rebuilt, that new beginnings can really start, and that the cards don't always lie. Thanks to all my friends for supporting me so much lately. I love you all.And that's all for now!
FA+
