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Posted 13 years agoI feel sick..
Posted 13 years agoTalking to my ex. And of course I'll always have feelings for him, so when he talks about doing all this stuff with his master, moving and such, it makes me a bit jealous.. I guess I'm happy that he's happy but it doesn't help the heartache. Do you think I'm doing the right thing, giving support as a friend? I suppose there's nothing really more I can do. But the more I hear about it the more it hurts. I told him I'd try and make him happy anyway I could, and I will, but how can I do it without the heartache..? Any advice is fine.. I just..
Melt...
Posted 13 years agoJust as a wake up, this morning I had one person on my mind.
Yes, it was you.
I had my hair cut, so you would notice me and ask me about my new style.
I wear my favorite pleated skirt and place hairclips so nicely when
I step outside to tell myself, “Today is the day you’ll see me in a new way.”
Melting, I’m melting when I think of you.
But it’s impossible for me to say that I love you.
And still I’m melting, I can’t look into your eyes.
I promise truly that deep down inside of me.
That you’re the one my heart is meant for.
Forever more.
The forecast was a lie and now I am standing all alone in this storming downpour.
I found my umbrella, but sighed quietly.
“Why both to stay dry out here anymore?”
At least that was before, I heard your voice and turned to see
When you said, “Will you share it with me?”
I couldn’t stop my smile from showing through.
As I fall even more in love with you.
Melting, oh I’m finding it hard to breathe.
I trembled when I felt your hand, oh my heart’s racing.
And now you’re here with me, with this umbrella in the rain.
I want to be the one that you will hold forever.
You’re so close beside me, don’t you know?
I pray to God, “Oh please, let this moment last for the two of us.”
Yet I feel so happy that I could cry.
Melting, our time of parting has arrived.
So will we meet again or will we truly say goodbye?
Though I am melting, I know I can’t stay with you.
So I’ll keep praying you’ll never forget me.
Then maybe someday you’ll return to say that I love you.
Yes, it was you.
I had my hair cut, so you would notice me and ask me about my new style.
I wear my favorite pleated skirt and place hairclips so nicely when
I step outside to tell myself, “Today is the day you’ll see me in a new way.”
Melting, I’m melting when I think of you.
But it’s impossible for me to say that I love you.
And still I’m melting, I can’t look into your eyes.
I promise truly that deep down inside of me.
That you’re the one my heart is meant for.
Forever more.
The forecast was a lie and now I am standing all alone in this storming downpour.
I found my umbrella, but sighed quietly.
“Why both to stay dry out here anymore?”
At least that was before, I heard your voice and turned to see
When you said, “Will you share it with me?”
I couldn’t stop my smile from showing through.
As I fall even more in love with you.
Melting, oh I’m finding it hard to breathe.
I trembled when I felt your hand, oh my heart’s racing.
And now you’re here with me, with this umbrella in the rain.
I want to be the one that you will hold forever.
You’re so close beside me, don’t you know?
I pray to God, “Oh please, let this moment last for the two of us.”
Yet I feel so happy that I could cry.
Melting, our time of parting has arrived.
So will we meet again or will we truly say goodbye?
Though I am melting, I know I can’t stay with you.
So I’ll keep praying you’ll never forget me.
Then maybe someday you’ll return to say that I love you.
Tired.
Posted 13 years agoI dunno. I thought I was gonna have company over. So I cleaned up the place, dishes, vacuumed, cooked. and I guess he decided he wasn't gonna come. I mean.. I understand. It just kinda hurts. My roommates are all pretty much social outcasts and the one who I kinda talk to doesn't bother to give me the time of day. It just makes me want to move back to California even more. At least in California I had people to spend time with.. I wasn't at my house bored as fuck.. and I shouldn't be mad, and I'm not.. It just kinda hurts to be stood up like that.. I guess i'm off to bed..
Arrrrrrt???? And Yard Sale!
Posted 13 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3266414/
check this out too. ^^
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3266407/
check this out too. ^^
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3266407/
Sigh.
Posted 13 years agoI wanna move back to California. I feel like I'm not even wanted here. Even dealing with my parents was better than being ignored all fucking day. My roommates are antisocial outcasts, and I have no friends outside of that since I'm still new to the area. But. I'm stuck here.
DICKS.
Posted 13 years agoOut we fight to scream, In a forest far too deep.
Posted 13 years agoStill array without sight, lost and found in the night
I've left myself behind
In the depth of life, cold and missing light
But you'll never know
Wandering through a mist, without strength to resist
The darkness minds the weak
Though it reaches wide, there's something here inside
I won't regret the now
Can my eyes find a glimpse of something right?
Though it's small and out of sight?
I'll pray (Hey)
Time has taken toll and with it goes my soul
There's no hidden truth, but loss is absolute
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
On and on in a daze as we travel this maze
The cards our lives have dealt
We continue forth, spending all our worth
The sun, we've never felt
Fighting past how we feel to discover what's real
The past is just a haze
With our beating hearts, we'll find the maze's start
And write out our own end
If we find what we've left behind in time,
We can leave the ground and fly
My friends (Again)
As we wander through, living as we do
There's no hidden truth, but I still trust in you
Traveling the sky, the clouds all multiply
Searching for the light, I'm answering your cries
Time has taken toll and with it goes my soul
There's no hidden truth, but loss is absolute
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
As we wander through, living as we do
Traveling the sky, the clouds all multiply
Distancing the road
There's nowhere left to go
Our words continue, free
For all eternity
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
I've left myself behind
In the depth of life, cold and missing light
But you'll never know
Wandering through a mist, without strength to resist
The darkness minds the weak
Though it reaches wide, there's something here inside
I won't regret the now
Can my eyes find a glimpse of something right?
Though it's small and out of sight?
I'll pray (Hey)
Time has taken toll and with it goes my soul
There's no hidden truth, but loss is absolute
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
On and on in a daze as we travel this maze
The cards our lives have dealt
We continue forth, spending all our worth
The sun, we've never felt
Fighting past how we feel to discover what's real
The past is just a haze
With our beating hearts, we'll find the maze's start
And write out our own end
If we find what we've left behind in time,
We can leave the ground and fly
My friends (Again)
As we wander through, living as we do
There's no hidden truth, but I still trust in you
Traveling the sky, the clouds all multiply
Searching for the light, I'm answering your cries
Time has taken toll and with it goes my soul
There's no hidden truth, but loss is absolute
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
As we wander through, living as we do
Traveling the sky, the clouds all multiply
Distancing the road
There's nowhere left to go
Our words continue, free
For all eternity
Breathless as we watch, but make no bounds to leap
Out we fight to scream in a forest far too deep
Look back at me.
Posted 13 years agoWinners for Kiriban~
Posted 13 years ago
And 
Stick around for my 3000 PV kiriban thing!~
2500 Kiriban thing? Can you call it that?
Posted 13 years agoAnyway, I guess I'll do a Kiriban thing.. 2500 views is pretty cool. I'm not an artist. But I can write pretty well. So. I'll take 2 winners, take a screen shot, as well as what state you're in so I can tell time correctly.
So yeah. Stories have no limits. I'll take anything, dirty, clean, go for it. Just tell me what you want.
Good luck~
So yeah. Stories have no limits. I'll take anything, dirty, clean, go for it. Just tell me what you want.
Good luck~
Well that's just shitastic.
Posted 13 years agoI'm just not gonna deal with it. If I make one comment on a stream, I get ganged up on. So I get called a know it all, a sad sack, etc. I get made fun of, but you're mad at me? Fine. Whatever. I'm not dealing with getting made fun of. I've dealt with it for 13 years. No more. I don't expect to get made fun of by people who have the same interests as me. I'm really upset about this because I didn't expect to be made fun of like that. Yeah, just back up the people who are hurting my feelings. That's a great idea.
And I don't understand why I get upset over things like this. Like. Why the hell am I crying over stupid internet drama? I should be used to it. It shouldn't be a big deal..
And I don't understand why I get upset over things like this. Like. Why the hell am I crying over stupid internet drama? I should be used to it. It shouldn't be a big deal..
Send me a note~
Posted 13 years ago~What if?~
● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:
~What do you think about my~
● Personality:
● Eyes:
● Hair:
● Family:
● Smile:
~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?
~Have you ever ~
● Lied to make me feel better?
● Wanted to kiss me?
● Wanted to kill me?
● Broke my heart?
● Thought I was unbearably annoying?
● Hated me?
● Wanted to tell me something but didn't?
● Wondered about my sanity?
● Wanted to do something to me?
~More ~
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?
● I died:
● I kissed you:
● I fell:
● I lived next door to you:
● I showed up at your house unexpectedly:
● I stole something:
● I was murdered:
● I cried:
● I asked you to marry me:
● I was hospitalized:
~What do you think about my~
● Personality:
● Eyes:
● Hair:
● Family:
● Smile:
~Would you~
● Trust me enough to sleep in the same bed as me?
● Keep a secret if i told you one?
● Hold my hand?
● Study with me?
● Cook for me?
● Love me?
● Date me?
● Have sex with me?
~Have you ever ~
● Lied to make me feel better?
● Wanted to kiss me?
● Wanted to kill me?
● Broke my heart?
● Thought I was unbearably annoying?
● Hated me?
● Wanted to tell me something but didn't?
● Wondered about my sanity?
● Wanted to do something to me?
~More ~
● When and how did we meet?
● Describe me in three words.
● What was your first impression of me?
● What do you think of me now?
● What reminds you of me?
● Could you see us together forever?
● When's the last time you saw me?
● Are you gonna re-post this to see what I say about you?
Rant about people. UGH
Posted 13 years agoOk, so I was looking at one of my watchers submissiona, and one of them was for a free icon. Cool. So she said post your ref sheets. I don't have one, so I decided to post up one of my best pictures.
COMPLETELY ignored.
Look, I'm sorry I don't have a fucking ref sheet. Shit. But you could say politely or SOMETHING, saying that you don't take anything but a ref sheet. I read, it's not like I wasn't paying attention, but you don't have to be bust a close minded BIGOT that you can't take the time to tell someone that you're to snobby to look at anything except one item. THERES NO BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A REF AND A REGULAR PICTURE. FFFFFF, But whatever, if you're gonna be an ass, be an ass. Delete my comments, I don't give a fuck. But there's no point in being rude. There are plenty of other people that I CAN AND WILL get art from. Don't act like you're the only artist out there.
All I'm saying:
Is that if you don't take anything but a ref sheet, CLEARLY STATE that you don't. Not everyone has a ref sheet. Don't act like everyone does.
Cave Johnson, We're done here.
COMPLETELY ignored.
Look, I'm sorry I don't have a fucking ref sheet. Shit. But you could say politely or SOMETHING, saying that you don't take anything but a ref sheet. I read, it's not like I wasn't paying attention, but you don't have to be bust a close minded BIGOT that you can't take the time to tell someone that you're to snobby to look at anything except one item. THERES NO BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A REF AND A REGULAR PICTURE. FFFFFF, But whatever, if you're gonna be an ass, be an ass. Delete my comments, I don't give a fuck. But there's no point in being rude. There are plenty of other people that I CAN AND WILL get art from. Don't act like you're the only artist out there.
All I'm saying:
Is that if you don't take anything but a ref sheet, CLEARLY STATE that you don't. Not everyone has a ref sheet. Don't act like everyone does.
Cave Johnson, We're done here.
Single or not? I wanna know!
Posted 13 years agoNicked from 
SINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get
♥ = I want a relationship with you
C: = I'm falling for you
:3 = I miss you
;] = i really like you
:* = I want to kiss you
:< = I hate you
: X = I like you
O: = I like you but im in a relationship
:/ = I like you but your in a relationship
:] = You're cute
</3 = I regret leaving you
:b = We should get to know each other
;^) = We should hang out
<3 = I love you.. \o//
<:^ = i want to know you
@FT@=*stalk*
eue= You're hot
<:3 = You're a great friend
^_^ = We're friends
^.^ = We're best friends
>;3 = I want you on top
>:3 = I want on top
SINGLE OR NOT put this as your journal & see what you get
♥ = I want a relationship with you
C: = I'm falling for you
:3 = I miss you
;] = i really like you
:* = I want to kiss you
:< = I hate you
: X = I like you
O: = I like you but im in a relationship
:/ = I like you but your in a relationship
:] = You're cute
</3 = I regret leaving you
:b = We should get to know each other
;^) = We should hang out
<3 = I love you.. \o//
<:^ = i want to know you
@FT@=*stalk*
eue= You're hot
<:3 = You're a great friend
^_^ = We're friends
^.^ = We're best friends
>;3 = I want you on top
>:3 = I want on top
Thinking about deleting my FA.
Posted 13 years ago A lot has happened. And if makes me wonder if I still wanna be here. i'll think about it though.
So... Unfortunately.
Posted 13 years agoLooks like I'm not gonna be able to make it to Fanime this year. XD no one really replied to my call of help and I really don't have any other options. I'm sorry guys. It really sucks. I mean, shit I'm no artist, and I'm not that popular, but if someone super famous asked for help, they'd get on their hands and knees to do the slightest thing. MEH. I'm not trying to get upset, but it's cool. I'll just try to make it next year. Sorry guys.
Wanna see something embarrasing about me?
Posted 13 years agoCheck out my scraps.
Confessions.
Posted 13 years agoA Boy's Journal Meme
Boy's confessions...
1. Do you sleep naked?
Sometimes.
2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Only when I'm at a friends.
3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
With someone else. But they'd leave the room eventually... T_T
4. Do you enjoy drama?
No.
5. Are you a manly man?
Um. no. XD Never.
6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My roommate.
7. Small or large package?
Um. Average?
8. Are you short?
A little tall. 6'0''
9. Do you like somebody?
-blushes- Yeah. But I need a boyfriend. Come at me!
10.Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy?
Nah...
11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Not especially.
12. Do you think you’re conceited?
Is it conceit when you really ARE this wonderful?
13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Oh hells yes.
14. Are you double jointed?
Um, don't think so
15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
No joke, park bench.
16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
T_T no...
17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
I'm sure there is.
18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Not that I know of.
19. How many boys will read this just because it says "Boy Confessions"?
Maybe none at all...
[ ] I wear make up.
[x] I have cried in a movie theater.
[ ] I can brush my teeth without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[ ] JUDE LAW FAG
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like techno.
[x] I like country.
[ ] I carry a purse.
[x] I'd be lost without my computer.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a boy band CD. (*nsync and backstreet boys.)
[x] I get bored watching football. (almost all of the matches, yes)
[x] Boys are confusing.
[x] I've been called a bad influence.
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.
Come on fellas, be truthful!
1. What color is your underwear?
Boxers. And they're corona colored.
2. Do you prefer light or dark haired boys?
Both, I have a thing for blonde guys...
3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
YES UGHHHH
4. What's one thing a boy can do to make you like them?
Talk to me. Let me know how you feel. don't lie to be, be open minded. Be romantic...
5. Do you have a best friend?
Yes.
6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Oh, HELL yes.....
7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Nope.
8. Do you like your life?
I'm still a little confused at the moment
10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
Yes, but it was my fault.
11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yes!
12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Some of each.
14. Have you ever slapped anybody in the face?
Yup.
15. What are your biggest fears?
Not finding true love...
16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes...
17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Yes..
18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?"
Yes, personal experience...
19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yes.
20. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Yeah..
21. Are you currently missing someone?
Yes. Leave it at that.
THIS BOY OR THAT BOY? PICK ONE:
THIS BOY.
Cowboy or Gangster? - Neither. XD
Preppy or Punk? - Little bit of both
Face or Body? - HWP, but face.
Cooks well or takes you out a lot? - Takes me out a lot. >////<
Sweet or sexy? - Sweet
Armani or Abercrombie? - Uhmm... Abercrombie I guess..
Contacts or glasses? - Glasses. Glasses are sexy.
Boy's confessions...
1. Do you sleep naked?
Sometimes.
2. Do you sleep with socks on?
Only when I'm at a friends.
3. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone else?
With someone else. But they'd leave the room eventually... T_T
4. Do you enjoy drama?
No.
5. Are you a manly man?
Um. no. XD Never.
6. Who was the last person you hugged?
My roommate.
7. Small or large package?
Um. Average?
8. Are you short?
A little tall. 6'0''
9. Do you like somebody?
-blushes- Yeah. But I need a boyfriend. Come at me!
10.Does your Facebook password have to do with a boy?
Nah...
11. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
Not especially.
12. Do you think you’re conceited?
Is it conceit when you really ARE this wonderful?
13. Do you dress up on Halloween?
Oh hells yes.
14. Are you double jointed?
Um, don't think so
15. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
No joke, park bench.
16. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
T_T no...
17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you?
I'm sure there is.
18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Not that I know of.
19. How many boys will read this just because it says "Boy Confessions"?
Maybe none at all...
[ ] I wear make up.
[x] I have cried in a movie theater.
[ ] I can brush my teeth without opening my mouth.
[x] I get jealous.
[ ] I think Johnny Depp is sexy.
[ ] JUDE LAW FAG
[x] I love to laugh.
[x] I like death/grind/black metal.
[ ] I like rap.
[ ] I like techno.
[x] I like country.
[ ] I carry a purse.
[x] I'd be lost without my computer.
[ ] I own a Spice Girls CD.
[ ] I own a Britney Spears CD.
[x] I own a boy band CD. (*nsync and backstreet boys.)
[x] I get bored watching football. (almost all of the matches, yes)
[x] Boys are confusing.
[x] I've been called a bad influence.
[ ] I have/had a piercing other than my ears.
Come on fellas, be truthful!
1. What color is your underwear?
Boxers. And they're corona colored.
2. Do you prefer light or dark haired boys?
Both, I have a thing for blonde guys...
3. Are you currently frustrated with a boy?
YES UGHHHH
4. What's one thing a boy can do to make you like them?
Talk to me. Let me know how you feel. don't lie to be, be open minded. Be romantic...
5. Do you have a best friend?
Yes.
6. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Oh, HELL yes.....
7. Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
Nope.
8. Do you like your life?
I'm still a little confused at the moment
10. Has one of your friends ever stolen a boyfriend from you?
Yes, but it was my fault.
11. Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
Yes!
12. Do you have more friends that are girls or boys?
Some of each.
14. Have you ever slapped anybody in the face?
Yup.
15. What are your biggest fears?
Not finding true love...
16. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Yes...
17. Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
Yes..
18. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater?"
Yes, personal experience...
19. Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
Yes.
20. Do you ever wish you were famous?
Yeah..
21. Are you currently missing someone?
Yes. Leave it at that.
THIS BOY OR THAT BOY? PICK ONE:
THIS BOY.
Cowboy or Gangster? - Neither. XD
Preppy or Punk? - Little bit of both
Face or Body? - HWP, but face.
Cooks well or takes you out a lot? - Takes me out a lot. >////<
Sweet or sexy? - Sweet
Armani or Abercrombie? - Uhmm... Abercrombie I guess..
Contacts or glasses? - Glasses. Glasses are sexy.
Wow. WhatisthisIdonteven... Also, Link in the dooblydoo.
Posted 13 years ago2000 Pageviews. Um. Thanks guys. all of my watchers.
HEY LISTEN
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3161889/
HEY LISTEN
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3161889/
Come join me and my friend!
Posted 13 years ago
Valentines day?
Posted 13 years agoWill whore my self out for 975 RP. I want that Vayne skin.
Hey you!
Posted 13 years agoDraw me a picture for Valentines day. I want to feel loved. DO IT!
Thanks. :D
Thanks. :D
You'll never read this, but..
Posted 13 years agoHappy Valentines day. I love you more than I've loved anyone else. And I wish I could see you. But I feel like you've forgotten me... Thanks..
