"No I'm going around telling others it was my birthday" =>.>=

Fine, hello everyone yes the 19th was my 39th birthday! The whole week here in NorthEast Texas seemed like hell, but it's now over as my internet is lacking something fierce. 0.08mbps.. thanks AT&T for limiting my data and getting rid of it while trapped, snowed in, with no where to go. Freezing temperatures and rolling blackouts. No mail or delivery or nothing! They are the only cell company that works in my area and no.. no cable services choice of two satellite companies that price gouge ya. So, waiting on Elon Musk and his starlink as I signed into it!
Don't worry I'm warm and safe only had one pipe freeze up on me, the one to my clothewasher machine. Things are starting to defrost now! And I'm looking at the net load like the good old dial-up days lol. Don't think my job at UPS of coming to 20 years is going to pay me jack as production was put on halt, unless I want to burn my vacation! There's probably more I can go on but my life is shit sooo...

Thank you and love you all

Yeah besides my absence it was brought to my attention that I been suspended for a week from this site due to a fictional story I posted around 7 years ago depicting a fictional furry minor... yup, no warning, just a straight boot to the face... So I'm just going to bend over... HERE IS MY ASS... CAN I HAVE ANOTHER!?

Besides this carry on and peace and love to my followers.

I may or may not post more stuff, maybe clean images. Just incase down the line in the future where I forget that I posted something that may become to much for people to take seriously for their sensitive selves. "Oh God, did you see the fox making with the sex with the flower? I'm mortified!"
Maybe I'll get myself banned, we will see.

Looks like I will be attending after all!! All thanks to my friend the cat SoggyMaster for splitting his room for me. Lets see what Texas has going for it as for fur cons go. Hopefully I will be able to meet new Furs and maybe meet those that I only know on the net!

Sorry I been in the dark. I been fighting to bring my life on track. Internet is still a loss out here in the country Texas. Don't know when that will improve.

Major news: I made plans with work to take it off to go to Texas Furry Fiesta. But the person I was going to go with backed out and rooms are costly going at it alone. Not sure I will know anyone when going there And then my job decided it was time to mess with me again and not pay me my rightful time for vacation stripping me of it before the Holidays. I have money saved but this is really a inconvenience.

So it looks like T.F.F. is a no go for me for 2020. I was so looking forward for it too. I haven't done any art really of my own, put my bedroom together, and then work and waiting to see stuff slowly load on the computer like Dial up takes my time and inspiration. I need to look for a muse. I'm also still looking for love and friends here.

Slowly finding places to go that is worth going. Everything is just so far away from me with even my job that is 45 minutes out. One obstetrical is finally moving out of the way so there will be changes in my life soon where I can make art again. Still fighting the pain but doctors out here may hold a solution to help me out on that in spite the lack of my meds I want to take but still illegal out here, for now.
If you have questions let me have them!

So another valentines day down.. still single. Oh and my birthday is coming up on the 19th, not looking forward into turning 37. D:

So now I leave you with this : http://www.fox35orlando.com/enterta.....qqqDIeph_yFgDs

Dose that look right to everyone else?.. then again how can one compete against a cute dolphin? haha... :-P

I wish I was more active.. I wish my medication was legal here in Texas.. but here I am in the middle of the country side in north east Texas where it was even a dry county for booze even. Poor quality and expensive internet on satellite. This was my mothers great idea.. but I feel obligated on helping her. I think our drawback is that my brother with his wife and baby staying with us (Leaching off of us) is our biggest thing that is keeping us from upgrading stuff around our ranch like the net and cell phones. A decent pool so I can exercise to lose weight and strengthen my injured back. When things are normal again I will get back into posting art and attending Cons and events even more.

I love you all, Love your Family and love ones. Wish no ill will upon anyone! Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year.

My illegal medication stash is running low...

Been inactive on-line still fixing this internet issue and may have it resolved soon. Country side for anything is terrible. I know I made promises about art and postings.. but with my string of bad luck in life I'm sure you all would understand. Working on getting my job transferred has been a pain.. Medical and pain issues and depression and stress has been a pain too. Slowing things down to do stuff to make this large move from California to Texas has been difficult. I know my artistic skills has become really rusty and may take time to get me back into getting into the grove again. still far from doing any computer graphic stuff as my natural thing is traditional art.

So one thing I just learned today.. when I moved out here in April like on the same day I came into town they held a Furry/Anime con in the closest semi large town near me! Like OMG.. wish I knew Rose City Fursanity. In Tyler,TX! When I get money I am so going to hit that up besides Fur fiesta in Dallas I got to check these out. Also learned that Califur didn't happen this year. Did my leaving made that big of an impact? LOL I know this isn't true. I know about some bad happenings that went down over there and hope they get there stuff together.

So yeah not dead, lots of things to come from me. Hope not to break promises and hope life turns for the better still. I work hard to straighten things in my life, things should straighten out by next year. Work is real iffy for me here.

Don't forget about Ant, Love you all... Stay tuned

Mother: "Lets move out to the country.. It will be good!"
So we moved to Hawkins, Texas. just got the net up yesterday.. slow as hell.
I did a test because being me I would like to upload content someday. Be it Youtube or what ever.. The results oh gawd.. Internet .86 Mpbs for upload, 2.16 for download... what do I do? This is hard wired and all that's out here is satellite and this is dish.. All the F's folks. This is my big welcome to Texas!?

I moved to a little place called Hawkins, Texas! So much to be left unpacked.. but still wanting to look around.

Well I know I been making promises.. I'm not turning away from making art still. But what have I been up to? hmm.. to start things off February 19th the day I level up so boo.. I'm getting older. But further more since just before the beginning of the year I been working on moving.

I was born and did most of my growing up and living in California.. Over populated City of Los Angeles, over priced a bit corrupt of a area. I am not in love with it, I am changing things up by a lot! I am moving out to Texas soon! That's right country side, granted I don't like country music.. but I'm heading out there to the North east side of the large state.

Got to sell this house first and then I am gone in the wind~ I don't think I will miss California much. Granted the big events and shows that happen close by.. but it's a better place to visit then to live especially Los Angeles.

So hit me up tell me what you think I should know or ask me questions I need to still get out of this shell I feel as though I am still in!

Yes.. yes, I be lurking. Stuff been going on in my life. Found out that without drawing for so long that my artistic skill has diminished greatly! But my head wont stop showing me stuff to put down on paper it seems overwhelming. But I been busy watching soo many things on the computer. So much stuff on YouTube and then the tv shows and anime.. gah~

Okay serious Ant here, there is talk going around between my parents and everyone here at home about moving!... Moving possibly next year even.

So yeah, that's a thing. Been living in Southern California for all my live. Granted I traveled and visit places out of California.. such as a couple of weekends ago I was in Seattle, Washington for my cousin's wedding. She is so beautiful.. her new husband looks like a hippy! and he is a little quiet.. but he seems like a alright guy.

Yeah yeah, but where is the winged fox going to land for his new home? Is he going to move out of his parents house?

Um.. where are we moving.. that is going to have to be answered later, Sorry I don't know (Possibly: Northern California, Illinois, Idaho, Texas?) we are still narrowing this down.

Am I going to move away from my parents? with my bad back and lack of a full time position in the work area and so the income for me to live out on my own IS out of the question. Even less to live here with my income is impossible. I'm sticking to them especially since I take care my mother from time to time. Guess they need me as much as I need them? not so much my father though.

Oh yeah and I will soon have a niece I believe she is due in a few months month!
So, any questions?

a little song describing me in a way "Thanks Marshmallow for being awesome"

Dear  starlyte

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'm joining the Convent. I think I realized it when I quoted Forrest Gump in your apartment and I saw you sit on the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're open enough to understand that we're related. I'm returning your balls but keeping your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and you should stop picking your nose.

Please don't hurt me,

~Midnyte Cali

*****************************
I think everyone should do something like this! lol I'm bringing this back.. though it needs a update! =>.>=

Have fun:

How to do this meme:

***Dear (person of your choice,)

I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you(4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) but keeping (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),

~(your name)

************************************************
1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - The rainbow hedgehogs want to destroy you
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - I'm joining the Convent
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
October - Last year when you peed your pants
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadiens' goalie
Purple - my corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink - Your "My Little Pony" collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - shamed
House- Sterile

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we're related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your balls

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Get sick when I think of your feet
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Love your sweet, sweet ass
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I love Oprah
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war.
Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I'm off to lead a new life as a lemon
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - I love Oprah
Italy - Please, don't lick my inner thighs anymore
Russia - your new world emperor

Every once in a while I would have a moment of clarity. Thoughts over fill my mind and I can't really put it all out there as I do not know how to express them.

With that said, I know how my life sucks. There are moments of calmness. This gives me time to think and look around to see and hear from others. People around me have found their love, yet I also see people suffering from.. I would like to say fear! Fear that they are running paycheck by paycheck and that they may not make it to save their place to live or even get food.. medical bills and so on. Then again I think that a lot of us go through that. I would like to blame other people for that. "But Ant why would you say that?" Well problems with work. The people who run it, the government who rules over it.. (Oh I see the government and I see nothing but that largest "mob" or "gang" that likes to control us! taking our money "taxes" for protection.) I see people lie and cheat and steal and kill.

My mind reels with painful thoughts, Hate, depression... I tend to put my mind in a fog to help protect myself. I would use my heart to make the best of it, even though it would get trampled. We physically cant put walls up to keep us safe. Why? because someone is always wanting to rip them down, thinking we are scheming and or doing something bad. I don't like to go into politics, ever. But man kind is the double edge sword. One person may help us but how I see it, there are two to knock us back down.

I'm sorry if this sounds like a rant, I might do that. But I am a honest fox, I can be wise but also dumb as I turn things off, lock myself away (introvert is a good definition about myself) I don't want to get hurt emotionally, physically, mentally anymore. Living in my life seems to be driving me into a hole of loneliness. I need to make a change or find someone that I can just cling to and live the rest of this life out with. I feel that I will not leave any mark on this world and that is what had drove me to art in the first place. That and some boredom. I found things to preoccupy myself so I wont get bored! video games, watching tv, anime, and then scrolling through many of other people's art.

I lost sight of my own talents and don't know what I am even capable of anymore. Even more so that I can't lift anything more then 65 pounds without feeling discomfort and then pain in my back. My mind is clouded so to keep my thoughts pure in a way in witch it makes me an idiot.

I can go on, I have had a personal journal for myself, but why not write my thoughts and feelings to the world... or rather the furry fandom on line! HAHA... go ahead and critique my thoughts and words, maybe give me some pointers?

if you had read through my other journals you would know that I work part-time, I live with my parents and I am turning 35, and I am alone in the love department. I been through hell and back. I have not yet reached a heaven. We all strive to find some kind of happiness.

So.. February 19th is almost here.. and I'm going to be 35! I.. I don't know if I should be happy or sad about this! What is this fox's resolution for this year? make this year better then the last past dozen yeah I'll work on that. I will be going to Cali Fur once again maybe to Renaissance faire here in California... I need friends over here, I am alone . I need to have a reason and need to know people so I can get out of the house. Well alone besides still living with my parents =;.;= I need to find something I am good at for a new job where I can feel comfortable at I don't know what qualities I possess. People help me help myself.. I need love! and possibly a way to live on my own.

Hmm.. well, I been working my Part-time job at UPS with my busted back.. not a problem as long as I have my medical herbs at the end of the night.. I been a bit of a shut in.. or being a introvert. I haven't been going out much, binge watching shows and playing on my PS4.

I will be attending CaliFur in 2017. as for art.. I don't know why I haven't been on the ball on that. I have many other small things I need to do like clean my room and this carpet.
I was and am not worried about the whole election thing.. but we passed the bill for legalizing weed! this will most likely mess wish my medical herbs and prices on them. =;.;=

If you have questions, ask!.... please? XD

I'm registered to go.. so yeah.. see you their if your going...

maybe it's the lack of posting art... but I seem to have some watchers leave me here on F.A.... Well that is fine.. I seem to get more attention over at inkbunny~ I am sure I will soon get a lot more fallowing me soon.. I know this because I am a nice guy and nice guys finish last... so.. um.. my death would and should be epic for being so nice through out my life! REMEMBER ME! haha...

So it's about that time already... another year hitting down and I had been through a lot of crap! I am still alone in this world it seems. Just throwing that out there since it's Valentines day and that my birthday is coming up...

Lets see, good news.. hmm.. I got back into work with help of the American Disability Act. No thanks to U.P.S. and my back is messed up for the rest of my life. Blown disc and Arthritis in the spine. They told me no surgery is needed.. but I still deal with pain. Thank goodness for Medical weed. I am limited to 65 lbs work requires that I am able to lift 70... so yeah they can't say anything about that anymore! but it doesn't help with getting a full time job.

I sold my dragon chair and table, that took some time but I delivered it myself and it looks that it went to a good home. =^.^=

Art.. need to head into it again! because of the weed and the lazyness that comes with it doesn't help... anime and video games grabbing my attention.. still living at home.. I feel like a loser.. I fight depression and them suicidal thoughts with anti-depression pills. It works but I think it zaps my creative side..

Stuck in Southern California for at least another year.. but I feel as if I should be crying out for help... my RL friends all moved away from me.... I have no love, and lust alike. Then there is the help I need for a real Easy job and even getting me back into my art... Who do I turn to?

Great... 33 years old now.. excuse me as I don't jump with joy! =>.<=

I found some vintage jewelry for guys on ebay... and I wish it wasn't sold but yeah.. It's call The Bold Men of the Zodiac. Now I realized this on the east coast Pisces didn't start for a person until they where born on the 20th of February but on the west coast it started on the 19th.. strange but it's true! I am a fish.. I am a dog according to Chinese zodiac. 1982... color of blue for water or ice for just the color of my soul or aura..

I wish it wasn't sold already really, it's just a fox head pendent on a chain but what caught me is the little booklet that came with it . A part of the description says "The Bold Men Of the Zodiac" chain with the head of a fox.The small red fold-over card that accompanies the chain says that this is for Pisces "Feb. 20 - Mar. 20.- You are the Fox."The inside of the small card gives a description of the Pisces "The Fox". The back of the card says," Approved by the Zodiac Society 1977 and Astrology Consultants 1978

Inside It reads " The Fox is more shy and sensitive than crafty and sly. He's quick witted and fast on his feet. Really quite faithful, for even though he spend the night out on the prowl, he always comes home in the morning. Don't underestimate the man born under the sign of the Fox. He may be gentle but you'll never catch him off guard." =^.^=

http://www.ebay.com/itm/NIB-034-Bol.....oQxfGCQ%252BUARF6j6wbZSpZwvYaE%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

So what have been happening with me? Lots of things, let me update on my situation!

For those that don't know I have been working for U.P.S. for 13 years now and it has taken a toll on my body doing the same thing for so long I guess will do that to you. Even though it's a part-time job unloading thousands of packages everyday is really physically demanding. So about 4 months ago two joints in my lower spine has started to deteriorate. Since then the pain haven't went away. Being on workman's comp. its mostly been waiting on authorization from the insurance that they provide. but now it is coming to a end and after a week they said I may be pushed into disability. That is 2/3erds of a part-time check... no way of living off of that.

I have a car on a 3 year lease a 2012 Chrysler 200 its a 4 cylinder 16 valve that's suppose to be fuel efficient and run like a 6. It's costing me $260.82 a month and it sucks gas like a 6 cylinder with out the feel of that power! So I'm getting rid of that soon for something else.

I pay rent to live at home. This is how I been making it for these years... 32 and a lack of a partner and like what sex life?! My life is a pain in the butt... oh yeah I think my knees are next to go out the creak and crack as I go up and down stairs even the sound is painful!

So looking for ways to make some dough.. no art tablet yet... will have a antique chair to auction out soon that should turn a profit, so be on a look out for that it will run a while and be on ebay but will post about that when I have pictures and the chair and matching table cleaned up a little.

I'm open for questions and comments and any good advice! thank you and love you all for reading =^.^=

~Ant

R.I.P. Eugene Grant
My Grandfather who shall be missed dearly
I hold him close to my heart along with so many with in my family. He had passed away around 8:05pm November 19 2013.
He was old but left us too quickly, as a hospital discharged him after a fall saying his catscan was good. For only minuites when we got him home he started to go under. He sat in his favorite chair closed his eyes, his breathing got irrigular and 911 was called to rushed him to I differn't hospital he had never open his eyes after he had sat down. =;.;=

stuff promised to me:

Comish (not paid): by AiX3N

Xmaster1 raffle winner 3rd place: sketch by  furryroseart

YCH (payed for): art by  Tomoyuki http://www.furaffinity.net/view/108...../#cid:71875014

IIRexII raffle winner 4th place: simple shaded by Rex https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=82398

Emothivamp Raffle winner: semi shaded, full Body clean/ picture with no background! (png). As well as a flat coloured chibi! https://inkbunny.net/journalview.php?id=81199

Thats okay! tho I hope it isn't over something minor. Give me a chance tell me you didn't like my post, and I will make sure never to do so again. I can learn more about you this way. If you want to keep your profile and posting professional, I so do understand!

But... if you block me there is no way for me to contact you. and if your art is not up to par of my own standards I'm going to stop watching you.

I mean why watch you if your art isn't good and we cant comunicate? I love art and I also love mah friends. You're either/or for my reason of watching you!

So the first person I know that blocked me, marla... hope he is the only one and that he would be the only one in the future!

Love you all and keep doing you'r thing! <3

Of Monsters and Men: Dirty Paws

keep hearing this song on the radio. It got stuck in my head and I had a dream where it played out... I'm drawing out a comic.. donno if I will post it right away.. pencil and crapy scanner and or camera and all!... Hope I can get my own comp soon!

You all don't need to read this, it maybe personal just to me tho..

My brother, after getting married after a year.. today he had moved out of the house. I'm happy for him but.. that ass had moved across the ocean to Hawaii. For school to become a marine bio Doc.

This leaves me by myself here at home with my parents. He maybe a asshole most times but we are close. Granted he isn't a furry. All in all I feel a little sad.. and a little angry.. I mean, hello he is my younger brother and he is doing better then I am!? he got married and moved out..

Damn my life still sucks! no money, stuck at home, and still virgin

In California and not many friends I need to get out more or something

anyone seen that anime "Welcome to N.H.K."?