Hyped....just hyped!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B65hW9YYY5A

Wishing you a happy and safe Thanksgiving!<3 Enjoy the turkey and always remember after you finish you will be tired!xD

Just looking around to find New RP buddies.^^ It can be both adventurous, fun time, syfy. Anything. I feel like OC Jake deserves some love with other OC's.

Sadly though I am having a tough time finding more Role Players out there. If anyone wants to send me a note. If you wish to get to know me as well that can work too.^^

Boy oh boy for those of you who watched gamescom without me and my brother your probably betting why I am excited! Me and my brother are the first two in day one preordered for the Xbox One X!!! But that is not why I am more excited though. We had to put 100 bucks down for both of us which I find it strange but didn't argue. I had to sacrifice the preorder of one of the games for the switch and Jordan even sacrificing a game for the Xbox to get them. We both got it. But we were both at work during the gamescom conference. So we didn't expect this. When we got back we got out receipts for them but noticed something.....strange. Its has some of the name....edition in it. I am pretty much teasing you guys with the word "edition" in it.;) Well we watched the gamescom and found out. We both are the first in our city to get it and these things will never sell forever.

Me and Jordan both got the Xbox Box One X: Project Scorpio Edition!!!!

So right now....I am fucking going nuts so excuse me for a moment to....BREATH IT ALL IN....MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru_.....tAsA&t=59s

I was at work today and it was 5pm. My shift ended and I went to do a little shopping at my job before I leave. Soon as I went out I haven't seen mom anywhere? So I called and no one would pick up. Then I called again and this time....Jordan answered in a raspy voice. I said to him hey whats up wheres mom at. Well Jordan cut to the chase....

MY FUCKING FATHER! Tried to kill my mom and threatened to kill my brothers. When I heard that I froze. Jordan told me mom and dad were arguing about dad wanting my mothers Xanax. Its an anxiety pill for mom that he isn't suppose to take. Well he found some and took them and went psychotic and mom having a fight with him about taking her meds. Well she found him in the garage sharpening an axe. At first she thought he is cutting the tree branch but instead...he charge at her with the axe and nearly tried to chop her. He knew what he did and ran back. When Jack and Jared heard they told him off bad. Called him a fat fuck. ( Which he deserved.) He then went after them and Jordan stopped but he punched Jordan and Jordan pissed off. Fucked dad up so bad he is on the ground. Jordans shirt ripped up when they were fighting. Jordan fucked dad up bad and dad threatened to kill Jordan and he hates him. Jordan pretty much said you didn't even come close bitch. Luckily when Jordan and Dad were brawling mom called the police to take him away. Dad is shocked when he is handcuffed screaming for divorce. But fuck divorce dad.:/ Your charged with Assault, Attempted murder. He is charged with other things. But the police told us he is fucked when the judge takes him. He has no money for a lawyer and no bail. He is gonna see what it feels like for what he did to mom before.

Guys I am still shocked and angry. He tried to kill my mother? With a fucking AXE!!! I am still in shock that my own fucking father would try to kill mom and threaten to kill my brothers. Well....he is charged and will be facing court. Also he may try to ask for his cane but guess what....he won't. Cops that arrested him and had to hold him down for resisting and even talking shit. One of the cops told dad to shut the fuck up. They know dad is crazy and they know he is WALKING FINE. So reason I brought the cane up is because he is good at manipulating. Well he can't out of this one. He is fucked. I hate him with every fiber of my being. He fought me when I was 19 and I won but he attacks from behind. Loser right? Then now he tries it on Jordan. He lost. And failed to kill mom.

I am worried about what will happen now since dad has the money for next month. But I know for a fact after all this shit. The court will make sure he does pay our bills and rent. Its over for him. He lost his only family that he will NEVER see again. Its fucked up I wasn't there because I knock his fat ass down if he EVER PUTS A FUCKING AXE ON MY MOTHERS NECK!!!!

Man no matter how hard I try I get hated for no reason from some asshole. She pretty much treated me like dirt at work and was talking shit about me behind my back. She is well WAS friends with Jordan my brother. (We both work at Food Lion) She was talking shit about me to Jordan to which my brother didn't like what she was saying about me and wanted to stay away from her. Well today Jordan is off and I work today and guess what happened. She couldn't get a manager or other worker closer to her to help her with a costumer find something. She went up to me when I wasn't looking because I was scanning groceries for another customer. She came and fucking grabbed my collar and pulled me over the counter to use the mic. I was pissed when she did that and some of the workers were telling her off why she did that. Only excuse is she couldn't get the manager when I told her and pointed. SHE IS RIGHT FUCKING NEXT TO YOU!!! The costumers were shocked seeing her do that coming to my personal space like that. She really fucking hates my ass and I didn't do nothing wrong.

Top it off I ain't so good around women lately....same old fucking thing. My brother is getting that attention and as for me well...sadly I wasn't getting that much attention. Why try seriously when none can give me that chance even if I was nice enough to help them out.

I am so tired of being treated like this man....I really really am. I am just a fucking doormat to them.

I got some scary news you guys and this has something to do with my mom. She just was told by her doctor to meet this other doctor in New Bern. Well that was yesterday. She had her MRI done and found some very bad news. Her neck is getting worse and something is torn. Her spine you guys where the back of your neck is.

I want you to feel that right now. That's how normal ours is right. My mothers is in reverse. Getting worse and sooner or later its gonna crack and possibly paralyze her. So for 13 years of my life I seen my mom go through this pain. And was told by doctors in her past that they are too afraid to even touch it or fix it. So in others she is fucked.

Now...the doctor she met on Friday which is yesterday. Was told that he can stop it from getting worse. Not fix it or stop the pain wise. Just to stop it from making her have to end in a wheel chair. He said there is a 10% chance it will do damage. Well thats the thing. It sounds good but like I said doctors before this one said it will get worse if they even tried to touch it.

The surgery will start this June. She is about to take this surgery Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion (ACDF). Its for the Cervical Spine. Now your probably thinking yes they will cut open to get to her spine. Well its not...from behind but the front.Her throat guys. They have to cut open her throat to get to her spine. This video below I showed this to mom and she felt relieved but scared. So she made the decision of taking the surgery. What you have to lose am I right...if she doesn't do it she will be in a wheelchair if she does do it there is a chance that will happen. -Sighs.- So...below like I said the video here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnFkOa3VAlc

After seeing this I am scared for her guys. I worry it might just get worse but she is determined. Plus this guy on the video getting the surgery he is getting one metal. Mom is getting two. So guys please if you are reading this pray and wish her luck. I worry very much guys. She sacrificed a lot for all of her boys and me as one of them. So whatever happens she is living with all four of us and we will take care of her. We her kids owe her that much. Whatever happens we will support her.

Valentines day is depressing but what's worse I get a flu all week. Miserably sick and alone. I mean seriously its like this month wants to bite me so hard.

Sorry for the little rant but this week I just want it to end and maybe this month to end. I am sorry for acting all sappy about Valentines day. Valentines day is just...depressing cause you have no valentine to celebrate and sense that holiday is over it comes back to give me yet another sucky week. I get the fly of a high fever. -sighs.-

I turn 25 today guys!<3 It feels awesome!x3 Got some goodies too for my birthday.

I got a chatpad for Xbox One.:3 Works awesomely.c:
$10 Xbox Card
My little brother a month ago gave me his 2DS as an early gift so I can get Dragon Quest 8: Journey of the Cursed King! Plus they pre-ordered the as well so I got a 3DS pouch. Soon as I get a 3DS that pouch will be used. It really looks awesome guys! Even getting Dragon Quest 8 which 11 years ago I got it for my birthday when I was 14. Now I got it back.X3 I loved this game!X3 Plus I am getting new to the Nintendo world right now.x3 But I have my little brothers to helping me.c:

Just saying hi!xP

I am freezing out here guys. Our thermostat was fucking up so someone came to help us. It was an emergency to fix due to the icy weather. Last night it happened and it was 20 degrees outside and its icy out there. Icy roads and everything. We were all freezing all day but the heat is starting to rise up again. Thank god its fixed. Well tomorrow is my last day of break and monday is my first day of spring semester. Yesterday was crazy. I lost 2 classes because they were cancelled. There weren't enough students for both of them because no one signed up for them. So I lost 2 classes were 2 credits together. Until I had some luck. I found a friday class that is once a week. And its worth 2 credits so lucky me. I lost two credits but gained it back. Its actually a lot batter now. Because 4 classes is hard now down to four is better. I am however a little nervous on one of the classes I am going to take and I hope its an easy fun class. Its called Introduction to film. Where I be learning history of filming and watching movies. Its fun but I worry if I am gonna be making videos or something. I hope not. BUt I know this semester will turn out good and this new year will still help me through a tough road and in the end of that road I am just one more class away to getting my degree.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Hope its safe and enjoyable!<3

Just want to say hi.^^ Pretty much have been bored for a while and wanted to see how my buds are doing.:D

Here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/7648803/

A good friend of mine is doing a Yiff Auction for her new sona!<3 Here is her journal on what to do!c:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/20230679/

Check her out!

A couple weeks ago I had a little battle with my college that stole money in my card claiming I bought a book or didn't return it. Which was untrue because I did return my books and they were making up a story to not give it back. Well I threatened them to put it in the newspaper because no one wasn't giving it back. After that threat I got it back. But...this is a different part that I hate my college that much. They...screwed me.

For the past 3 years I worked hard and I passed most of my classes and I did fail 4 classes but passed most of the classes. I mean over 10 passing classes. I was told I am doing well still. My mom...um didn't want me to know but she felt bad for keeping this a secret. She did right guys. She loved me and didn't want to hide it. She told me she got a letter from my college stating that my GPA is low that they suspended me for a year. I didn't get why? So I asked and they said that...they know of my learning disability and cause that I am struggling they believe I am not fitted to be in there school.

That last sentence they said that to me. Which broke me. For the past 3 years of working hard and being in class on time. Was a waste. I haven't learned anything of fixing or building computers in hand. Yet I am treated like that. Plus my teacher was talking shit behind my back to other students saying I cheated and shit. I didn't guys. That fucker is lying because he is at his 10 year retirement. He has nothing to lose but look good.:/

So right now....I feel like shit. My spirit is broken. I mean in that same college I was flirted by a girl but she only teases me and says she has a boyfriend. My spirit and my dignity all in one last semester of that school....destroyed me.

Right now I am just sulking and...feel like nothing now.

I need to get this off my chest guys...I am depressed but more from it I figured out why. If many of you know about Facebook I actually have that account. I haven't been on there for 4 years. Reasons are because of my dad who fucked up everything back at Hubert and now...I had to be dead from that account cause of it. I am too embarrassed because of that.;_; My dad cheated and left us hungry and went off to do drugs and for 9 months we went through hell. His new girlfriend or ex...has been telling bullshit lies about all of us. And everyone knew about it. So...after we moved and later took him back mom says I shouldn't return to facebook. But I have no freaken idea what to do now. That was like 4 years ago now. I wanted to go back and check things out. My friends and family are wondering if I am still alive or something. But as it seems my account seems to be intact. But...I had to log out quickly. I shouldn't have gone on but I wanted to know whats up. And...I logged out quickly before anyone knew I was online. I was scared to know what they may ask if why I was gone. Plus my Aunt and Uncle want to know and my moms friend who helped us. We had to be kept quiet till we figure it out but....god damn for how long now.;_; I mean it hurts so much not to tell them that we took our dad back and are living in a rental house....I mean fuck! I am so pissed and hurt at the same time I can't think straight at all. If I go back it will bring more trouble and if I don't I will be suffering. Its like I am at a no win situation! I mean FUCK!!! What I do? ;___; I mean hurts typing all this out....but I feel like a fucking loser.

Guys me, my mom and my little brother are real pissed. We get picked up from college from mom and on our way back dad calls us. Which is strange because he never calls us for anything. Just to let you guys know he has his medicine and is high as a fucking kite.:/ Anyway soon as we get back his face is completely red and his face looked like he has been picking them. Me and Jordan go to our rooms....and well....EVERYTHING has been ransacked!!!:< My depression pills all over the floor and my anxiety meds are GONE!!! He even ripped Jordans box of Mortal Combat collectors edition and even messed his closet and stuff. We know it was him because he has done it before but he SWORE on our lives he didn't go in our rooms. BULLSHIT. We know it was him. I am pissed off so much I WANT TO KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!!! I don't care if I go to jail! HE TOOK MY MEDS!!! FUCKING!!! GOD!!! -Flips the table angrily!-

We can't do this anymore. We need to find a lawyer against my dad and leave him. I don't care if he dies from his meds that's his problem. Satan will be waiting for you son of a bitch!!! Lying cock sucking loser! Son of a bitch put me through hell and that's why I am on my meds and he takes mine!

Plus morning later around 6am before I got up for college I heard dad yelling like a druggy asshole still. Talking like an idiot and you want to know what he said about me. Son of bitch said I only love him for money! No joke...that's what he said. Says my moms cooking was shit. Made fun of us. We put our foot down. I told mom get a fucking lawyer and lets leave him. I am done with his shit. I am done going through nightmare every singe fucking night! He even threatened us. "If you don't let me kill myself I will kill all of you instead." He said that. I kicked his ass once and sure as hell I will do it again. He threatened me once physically and mentally. I through hell and nightmare. I never got ANY help getting this....this fucking hate pain...misery out of me.

But I will say this....if he tries to kill us....he is going to have to kill me first but because I won't rest until I drag that son of a bitch straight to hell with me! I seen demons go for him when he nearly kills himself the second time. They might as well get the hell out of my way...because if anyone is going to send him to hell its me!

Not trying to sound like a jerk with the title or anything its just a depressing month for me thats all.^^ Plus I don't hate the holiday neither I love Valentines day. Its just its always that same year that you don't have a Valentine to share with. I know its stupid to type about something like this but...-sigh- I don't know...just wanted to get it off my chest. Anyway I hope you all have an awesome one as well.^^ I know many of you will have a great Valentines day.^^

Today is my 24th Birthday!:la: Boy time flies by quickly. I just woke up early because my little bros want to see me open my present. So I got a bad ass gift. I got Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain Collectibles edition. The hand is really cool. I made it do the bird. The fingers move and hand. The box is leather comes with the game and dlc add on. Also a metal box with a soundtrack inside. I love this gift and I am ready to play the game right now.

Go watch my friend on her account. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/maevedemon/ She is awesome and caring.<3 Hit the watch button on her account if you love me.^^

Just want to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope your day is jolly!<3

Hope to hear from ya'll on what you got!c:

I need some help with the first one though before the second. But if you guys got the second then the first one then I guess I can do that. But let me start with the first one.

I beaten the game so its new game plus which is fine but I just got the DLC for the game and I really want to play it but the problem is I have to get past these fucking Knights who shoots dragon arrows at me. Its the place where you face 2 bosses before getting the lord vessel. Problem is the nights guarding the castle keep killing me and I want to finish the DLC so bad.:c So if anyone can help me please send me a note and I will reply to you.c:

Now for the second one the bosses in the DLC suck but there is one I hate most of all.@___@ -Sigh- It was bad enough facing this monster. I started on my first DLC called Crown of the Old Iron King and this boss keeps kicking my ass and I need some player to help me beat him. Its a Smelter Demon (Blue) http://darksouls2.wiki.fextralife.c.....+Smelter+Demon He is far worse then the red one. He does magic damage. It looks like from all the videos you need two or three people to beat him. I really want to beat this game but...somehow I can't do it without help. So if you guys want to help me and have this DLC please send me a note for this one.c:

Thank you very much!<3

I got my wisdom tooth out today...my god it was bad.@__@ The doctor and nurse are real nice to me because of how nervous I was. And he numbed me with 6 needles where my first wisdom tooth is. The tooth is well...in another direction biting or cutting my cheek so I had to get rid of that one first. But....my god....after numbing it I felt the pain of razors being ripped out of me. It hurt so bad I asked them to numb me one more time and they did but....it didn't work. So the man is pulling and it was being a stubborn one. But after about 10 or 15 minutes of pulling and shit...he got it out. And...he was shocked. 3 large roots. They look like the size of razors guys. He told me that explains why I am in so much pain. But now I have 3 more left. But those will have to wait. Even though they are sore I am still...in pain. Right now its numb but...its starting to hurt so tonight for dinner I get vanilla ice cream.<3 But...still...my god the wisdom tooth looks so bad.@_____@ REAL FUCKING BAD!!! I knew this was gonna happen I knew there was gonna be three roots and I was right. So now I know the other 3 will.=___=; More pain....figures.

Anyway I took a picture of my wisdom tooth and they even let me take it with me to show it to my brothers. They were shocked dad even felt more sorry when he saw me. Even my tooth. My bro did a joke....he says "So...you gonna put that under you pillow for the tooth fairy?" I said of course no....maybe....yes....I hope so I would like a new video game.lol Well I am in my PJ's and would love to talk to you guys about it and stuff and to help me get my mind off it.;_____; Really would love that...

I did take a picture of it in case you guys want to see it. Its....I never seen anything like it and neither did my dentist so...be ready.

For most of you already heard I have infections in all four of my wisdom teeth and the infection went down to my tonsils. Luckily these antibiotics is helping me but at the same time being sick and fighting a really bad infection....seriously its really killing me over here. At first I thought I was better now it gets worse then I get better and it gets worse. Its like my body is having a war. Battling both the sickness and the infection at the same time.

I don't feel really good you guys. My throat hurts the worse though...its getting late and I should get some sleep now. Check with you guys tomorrow and hope that I get better this time.