Last night I felt a whole lot worse I might have gotten the flu. For those who wanted to talk to me I might need to cancel that till I get better. I haven't been getting any better without any rest. So I am sorry if it upset you or something.:c But when I get better we can talk.c:

I broke my nose and it was an accident. I was in a trip for a week in the cabin in the woods at tennessee to go to dolly wood. Well it was raining. I was walking up the steps and I slipped and fell face first on the floor and my nose broke. Then my nose sprayed out blood like a hose and I was coughing up blood as well. I went to the hospital quick and they confirmed its broken. Plus I haven't stopped bleeding for hours now. Then when I got out with my dad to get my meds....I threw up the rest of my blood. Yesterday was the most scariest and worse day ever. There was so much blood everywhere man.

Wishing you all a Happy and Safe Easter!:3 Hope you guys got some goodies in your basket.c: Chocolate bunnies...*drools* MINE!!!>B3

My reaction I...I can't believe it. The Undertakers Streak has ended by the hands of Brock Lesnar at Wrestle Mania 30. Everyone watching mouth had dropped eyes wide in gasp. The arena filled with over 80,000 people went silent as they saw that the Undertaker did indeed lose. My brother and I are like...no words just I can't believe it. 21-1 his 22 year at Wrestle Mania...my god. I KNEW 22 WAS A BAD NUMBER!!! I mean first Amy and I break up then I sprain my ankle the news tells us crazy shit happening and I usually think maybe if Undertaker wins the streak maybe 22 is good luck. Its not...seeing the streak end is like....hell broke loose.O_O I just felt that chill that...this can't be happening I can't believe it.

Guys I am in so much fear right now. Because 22 is a meaning number that I was born with. I was born Jan.22nd 1992 in room hospital 222. Then over the years I get 22's every I look like something is telling me something. Then Amy has the same birthday I do then...seeing Undertaker lose is like seeing hell will come. Something big is coming...I don't know when but that 22 has been telling me over the years of my life something is coming and I look at it as a lucky number but since undertaker lost its not a lucky number. Its a sign of something to come and whatever it is be prepared. I know you guys might think I am crazy...maybe your right maybe its just in my head...but guys what if it isn't what if something is coming...maybe the end.

http://worldhero.tumblr.com/post/80.....lity-to-ex-who


Thats my ex's tumblr account. She wrote that behind my back. Instead of a I'm sorry I got boohoo no one knows who you are Jake and yes they do. They know who her ex is. Its me.:/ She got two of my best friends to go and kill myself. And now I haven't heard from her in a while she comment and we talked and it turned into this! I fucking can't believe her. I was happy today and now I might not sleep at all.;_; She hurt me guys!

What happen was I was getting ready to walk out the door to get to the truck and get to class. So when I did on the front porch were two steps made of brink steps on the porch. I fucked up on stepping on one and fell ankle first. It bent and I heard a crack and I was screaming. I was in so much pain on the wet grass gripping my foot. Dad ran over and helped me back in the house. Mom was real worried. They think I should stay home but...well I didn't want to miss any classes. So I limped to my classes and luckily they are both next door and has an elevator to get to class. When I got back my foot felt tight and then...it was swollen. So I am going to the hospital when mom gets back.

Sheesh what else is gonna happen to me.:/ First the break up then the threats then the stress and now this...damn it. I am in tears a bit because of the pain right now so I will let you know. I might have just twisted it but the way the swelling is...sadly it might not.

I was doing some thinking and thankfully now I got time to take a break before tomorrow might be snow maybe I don't know. But the title for this journal I am getting back on my meds for ADD. Reasons are I can't have distractions when I work. Even my emotions as well. Which is why I called a doctor and on the 28th I will be getting my ADD meds. But there is a side effect and I know because I took them before. My brothers have that problem as well but it makes them quiet. Once I take that medicine pretty much my emotions shut down. Like if something hilarious comes up nothing comes out of me no laugh or anything and when I see something sad or hurts me I won't feel it. Pretty much I will be like Raven on Teen Titans. Thats how I was when I took them. I am depressed enough. When I stopped taking them I was finally you know happy and I know what it felt like. I felt amazing and free from it. But after like so much of depression and shit happenings over the years I felt like regretted from stop taking my ADD medicine. Once I take them again I gonna be pretty much a robot. Plus I am fine with it though I mean I got college to think about and I can't have all this mess with me and maybe after college I will still keep it and use it for the rest of my life. I am taking them to focus on college but to never feel pain again. I am done with that guys enough is enough of pain only sad part is I won't smile anymore. So right now I am enjoying Pinkie Pies smile song and other stuff to make me laugh at least before the 28th hits. I made my decision and its final. Just know its me but not the guy who has any emotions anymore.

I am still hurt about my ex pulling the plug on our relationship. I was hurt when she wanted an open relationship but I was more hurt when she pulled the plug when I said no. I will be honest if I said yes...I would see her with someone else doing the things I would do to her. Which would kill me. When I said no she said I had a lot to learn not to be jealous and be so possessive. I didn't understand why she would say that. How should say yes to this. I done a lot of nice things for her I buy her games she wanted for christmas even though she says I didn't have to I still do because I LOVE HER. I didn't mind her if she was around guy friends but I hope she tells them she isn't single but I didn't say that. But for her to end it...I still say its her fault and not mine. She hurt me bad when she said fuck you to me. I never said any cuss words to her but she hurt me bad. Then she tumbled about me out of anger so people can read it. Guys I don't know what to do...plus...this months is the worst month to come...Valentines day. Ends it before my birthday now valentines day comes and...I am single. My heart is hurting still here I am trying to move on...I don't know how I can guys. She ended it and I feel like I am the worst boyfriend ever. She didn't say it but I know she is thinking it. I mean...I fucking have two parents who don't get along and they fight like crazy they put me in the middle of it. To be honest every where I go and turn over the years and days of my life I get bad luck. I can never be happy trust me I tried to find ways to be happy. But it ends to disaster. Maybe I deserve it. I don't know what I did to deserve it. I lost someone I loved for 3 years pulls the plug and done. I rather be alone and miserable and I don't care what anyone says there are many fish in the sea and stuff. There isn't any on the hook. My ex was my first...I hate being alone...but I guess I deserve to. For those 3 years we were talking about after college getting married having kids...its what I always wanted...be a good husband a good father...thats my dream. But thats just a dream. And my dreams never really do come true.

Birthday ruined! Yes ruined this month sucks like hell fucking sucks! I lose Amy I fucking am stressed out in college and now my fucking parents fight on my birthday! When I say something guess what I get yelled at on my birthday!:< FUCKED UP!!! And I get told off by two little brats who fucking always get them to fighting! Now they are downstairs saying I said bad things to my mother but of course her drama started the fight and dad who needs to show love to mom starts a fight but now everyone is pointing fingers. Fuck my birthday and fuck my fucking life!

I hate my fucking life! *crouches in a corner in tears* its my day not theirs....

Well I got two games something for now till I get Skylanders Swap Force Dark Edition. I got Deadpool and Dead Island the game of the year edition which includes all the dlc's so something fun to do I guess. To be honest I wasn't really to happy about my birthday. THis month was well...hellish school was hellish being single is hellish my parents still fighting. Its like...hell was unleashed on me. Well I should just be happy for tomorrow but I am gonna be very busy on my birthday work work and more shitty work. Oh well its college for ya...

Thanks for the supporting.

Wow...my ex has just ended up really not getting this whole thing. I went on Facebook and on her page says this I got a fortune cookie and it says "You will pass a difficult test or something I can't remember the rest. But in her meaning what she get is she is happy that she broke up with me. I even read it that she feels better about herself.:/ Okay you know what she can go to hell. Every fucking man has a feeling emotions as women do! She fucking went and screwed me before my birthday and after christmas when I give her fucking gifts! She hardly says she loves me.>:/ So what hard decision did you make! That you fucked someone else and to prove that she did cheat she asked for a OPEN RELATIONSHIP? Can you believe that? After what I did for her she screws me! She fucking burn in hell lots of people around the world who love to cheat can all rot. I don't fucking care anymore I am so fucking HAPPY this happened but at the same time hurt. But here is the best part she may have ended it. BUT I FUCKING DIDN'T DO THE DIRTY DEED! In others words I didn't cheat or hurt or screw her. She did all that. So congrats ex for dumping my ass so I hope maybe I find another girl which I would do the same for you. I respect the women I would protect my women and I would LOVE my women. So if you can't get that then you can kiss your chances of finding some man who would want ya.:/ So for the men and women who in there lives has a mate that cheated I am one of you and I feel the same way!

Guess what! I am want to move on I want find a girl who would love me for who I am and I would love her for who she is! THATS RESPECT!!! So for your fortune cookie I hope you can shove straight up somewhere in ya. Cause from my telling you love doing that? Karma will get you, not me! And as soon as it does well Pay backs a bitch!

I saw something I shouldn't have seen nor read and right now I feel like breaking down. I saw something and read "One guy can make you hate all guys, but one man can teach you not all guys are the same." Guess I am like one of those guys that hurt people. Including women. I got to go I can't stay here anymore I am even tears typing this I don't know when I will return but I don't know if I am even wanted to be returned.;_______________; I'm sorry guys and I am sorry for all the things I said about her and Amy I just...I can't be here. I'm sorry.

My girlfriend dumped my ass cause I wasn't sure about the open relationship.:/ Fuck man she wants to meet another guy while I meet another women and that ain't right. So I am single now...

On January 22nd will be my birthday. I will turn 22 that day I hope my birthday will be better then last year...so yeah just in case you know.

Just want to spread some Christmas cheer to everyone at there homes.c: You all have a safe and wonderful Christmas! Also remember Santa is watching he see's you when your sleeping and knows when your awake and he knows if you been bad or good so you better hope no coal is in your stocking.

For those who didn't hear our favorite actor who played in lost of good movies and the best sequels of Fast and the Furious. Paul Walker died in a car crash.:c This is really a...damn. Soon as I heard the news I was like no...no way. The Fast and the Furious crew are taking it very hard. They not look at him as a friend but a brother. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyOyV1hNKSw Its horrible guys. Here is in Paul Walkers friends taking it hard. Tyrese http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlfUGDN1S68 And Vin Diesel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBQT-o4zWMc

R.I.P Paul Walker we will miss ya man. Love all your movies won't be the same with out.

Right now my face is clawed and bloody and I was choked by four people!;( Want to know my littlest brother punched me in the face! I grabbed him to stop hitting me mom jumps in and beats me down 2 little ones and I try to get them off me but they kept beating my face. Then Jordan and I was hoping he was gonna help no...he was holding me down choking me and they all kept on hitting me clawing my face up. I pushed mom off with my foot and she acted like she got hurt. Dad came in and SAVED me. He got them off me and saw how I looked. I looked like hell and my family acted like they got hurt! Look at me! They beaten the hell out of me 4 against 1! Dad was right now I know why he left! She fucking did it once attacking me and now again...I look like hell....I need to get out of here...I look like crap and sore.

Right now I am in full of hate. They didn't talk to me all day cause they know they fucked up but there mad at me its my fault I got beaten up by 3 brothers and my mother while one chokes me down I get clawed on my face and punched in the nose! I was covered in blood on my face and nothing is wrong with them I said sicking things to them and I don't care they hurt me. I played nice to them I am not some push over anymore in this house. They just watched a Christmas show with out me downstairs Dad wanted me down I said no....they don't want me. I don't care anymore I am happy I said all that to my mother and my brothers for treating me like shit they are not gonna mess with me again. I am more hurt yes I am sore beaten got bruises on my side had trouble sleeping with that...

I hope Karma gets them I really hope it comes...

Who wants to RP?

Reason I want to help is cause well in my previous journals I had that problem before. I want to return the favor helping as well! Come on ya'll if you have good heart help her!


Shes a single mother who needs help getting a car in order to obtain a job and continue to give her daughter the care she needs.

All you have to do is vote once a day. It literally takes a few seconds to sign up and place a vote. You can also donate money to help the cause.

Go here to vote: http://www.freecharitycars.org/user/justonewish

Go here to read her journal: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4927118/

If anything, please spread the word!

My little brother Jared is like yelling at mom woke my ass up from all the screaming I heard him screaming "Screw you mom I am not on your side." So I tell them he is yelling saying that stuff but I get yelled at for saying screw you mom when I was telling them what Jared said. "What did you say to me boy!" Um mom know your kids more I am an adult I should just fucking leave with MY money?:| Also dad I am no where near your face you did get in my face many times to pick a fight with me. So go fuck yourself...I am man enough to take you on thats for sure. But as soon as Jordan comes in he says he heard Jared yelling saying that that I am telling the truth. So they believe him....they believe him.

*shakes head wipes the tears* Guys there tearing me apart I tried the getting away from them and staying in my room but its not working...all they do is put me down...and they don't care. They believe him! But they don't believe me. How does that make me feel? What does that make me? A nobody? Is that what I am to them?

My mother just came in and not said a word to me at all? Thanks for being a mom that I thought you were!

Well...ow. Want to know why.>.< Well it still hurts.lol But I was putting soda's in the fridge and I didn't look where I was going I busted my head hard on the corner edge part of the table the point part. Well I felt all dizzy but my folks and everyone wasn't home cause mom had to see a pain doctor. I looked at butch like could be worse least I am not bleeding. Well...I did. I was watching MLP on pc and I felt something wet on my cheek. Yes its blood. My head was bleeding so I cleaned it out and felt around. Felt the bonk but felt that large scab.>.< It took a piece of meat out of my head. Yes it still hurts but I am fine. Just scary though. Although I was really dizzy but I stay awake long enough for 6 hours and I am fine.^^

Don't worry ya'll I am fine. And Amy I am fine as well just gotta rest right now.^^ Mom and dad checked me and did get a little worried but dad said I am fine cause I remembered the concussion thing. Yes I busted my head before in 9th grad...it was a fire extinguisher.>.>; Long story on that one.lol

But I am fine so I am gonna sleep. Night ya'll.^^

For those who have Bioshock Infinite the first DLC pack has arrived its really fun!^^ There are 60 challenges and you have to earn a blue ribbon to unlock special stuff.<3 The first 5 are easy but the rest well...they will get harder. You even get 4 new maps to play as well.:3 So for those who want to purchase it its worth 400 microsoft points I don't know about the PS3 I never had one.>.>; But if you all bought the Season Pass like I did.:3 Its free. Just put the game in and as soon as your in main menu click Season Pass and it will be there the name of this DLC is Clash of the Clouds.:3 Its really good and worth playing its not the story though its just for fun but I advice to get it since you paid $20 on the season pass.:) But I did find out the 2nd and 3rd dlc is a story of 2 parts. I am excited for those but for now I am enjoyed playing it but I am playing Fallout 3 and just started that.lol So anyway enjoy!<3

*slumps on my bed under the covers hiding the world*

Guys...I am gonna be honest with you all. I can't live anymore. I can't...I am sorry for quitting but...I can't take living with both these bastards of my parents. Mom started a fight today...and what brought this up is dads old address with his girls. She got all pissed off and worked over for nothing throwing shit and stuff. I tell her to stop it and she cusses me out for taking his side.

...Fuck you mom...take your side crap and stick it somewhere up your ass. I hate you mom so much even dad as well. You two suck as parents...really you suck as parents....with a fucking capital S.

Here is why I don't want to get my license to drive. I am not scared to drive...my folks talked to me about when I drive I get credit. But after there credit went bad I heard them say they want to use mine. If they do...they will mess up my credit bad. Especially since dad loves to leave and I sit here hearing her bitch.

Next I didn't want to get a job. Waste of time want to know why? CAUSE THOSE PIECES OF SHITS ARE STEALING MY MONEY!!!! Mom you said you wanted a job go get one you lieing bitch! You dad I wouldn't be talking you lost a job and getting $6000 a month to support yourself and family. But you NEED MY MONEY!!! Now I am threatened by them that they won't help me get to college.

Guys I can't take living here...I keep saying I got no where else to go...and it seems there is one way out...guys...I am thinking suicidal...and I don't want that...but it might happen cause of them...I won't remember what I will do. I can't get out of here...I have no one to support me...I have no one who can break down my door and tell me..."Come on Jake...I am getting you away from here." I wish that a lot.*tears falls down my cheek* But I know...its never gonna happen...

If...no one helps me then I have that one way out...I am done being there son they can use and fuck my life up.....they won't have nothing from me.

What the fuck did I do wrong?

Here is what happened. My father asked if he can borrow my xbox and this was 3 hours ago.:/ He wanted to see all in the family show. So I said okay. So its been about 3 hours and I know its heating up and maybe later I want to play. So I asked him of I can get it back he goes on saying I was having so much fun on it. So I said okay you can have it a little longer. And he is making me look like an ass.:/ So he says okay go ahead and take it. Soon as I do that he asked I know your wanting to play and stuff I had fun on it. I said well I am waiting till it cools so I can play it. He then went off.:/ Saying ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! You played it for 6 fucking hours and now you just saying that to take it. I said what the fuck dad I said I am playing it later cools down! But then he goes without house or internet nor games you won't have nothing to do nor speak to your friends. I said You know what I didn't make myself and ass dad you did. I closed my door and am sitting here not wanting to come out now...

So tell me guys...WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO!?

You all have a great and safe independence day everyone!^^ *salutes*