Riika She is my friend and I want to help her but I want you all to help. Please I am not asking much but all I ask is if you can check out her work and comment on them. She is a very good artist. Please go and see her and watch her too!

Its here! http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4737173/

This is his first time doing this so please support him.^^ He is a good artist and a good friend too. Please go and check him out.

Guys he came at me like a bad ass and wanting to fight me throwing his arms out like. COME AT ME!!! 21 years old and all you do is fuck around and not get a job!:<

Um excuse me ass hole I can't find a job want to know why you been saying it every day.:| Hardly any jobs open to anyone.:|

Talks trash to me telling me what being a 21 year old is! FUCK YOU DAD FUCK YOU!!! Take all that bull shit and shove it up your fucking piece of cock sucking shitty ass! You left us for 9 months for a whore wanting to act like 18 again! I was 18 and I don't do the shit you do!

You know he acted such a bad ass my brothers drove us crazy he went off and threw shit not needed and when I tell him to calm down he goes oh man see I am a loser blah fucking blah! I tell him you need to stop acting like your 2 putting yourself down so we can give you the attention. He went off put me down called me names all that drunken ass fuck he even did a throw down and I just sit smiling saying "Really you know after all those years you always say I am coming to your face and look what your doing.":/ He wanted me to punch him I am not that fucking dumb if I do punch him he will bitch to the cops and throw my ass in jail. Guys I am not safe with him no I have no relatives to live with I have no one. I am not safe with that loser! He is gonna put my ass in jail for putting me down and calling me out!:< Thats what he will do and he almost did and that was before I asked Amy out! I almost went to jail cause of that piece of lieing shit!

Guys I need to get out now! He doesn't give a shit what he says and doesn't even care about anyone but him!:< I let his ass in the house! I SAVED HS LIFE 3 FUCKING TIMES AND HAVE NOT RECEIVED HELP!!! I am gonna get my ass kicked cause he feels like taking it out on someone! Like a fucking loser and if I put up fists he will just fucking call the cops and throw my ass in jail!

Dad its over! You ain't never gonna see me again I would slit my throat then to have a ticket ride to see you cause thats how much I fucking hate you! I will not have my kids suffer. All I see is you ass hole! You fucked up bad in the bible bitch for cheating I hope Satin rapes your fucking ass and lays spider eggs in you!

This is a rant guys but what all I am telling you I even barricaded my door and he found out about it!:/ "Why would you barricade your door you think the smurfs will get in.":/ Started another fight when I am sitting in my room quiet!:< Guys please I am done its over and I don't care if he bitches or anyone else in this family. This family blows and I rather have a life. I can't find a job and he puts me down for that! He lay his fat ass on the couch watching war movies.

If he did leave a MARK on me anywhere he is dead I will beat him till he fucking ends up in a coma.

Sorry for saying all this guys but I am done with him. I hate him and I don't forgive him for what he did to me.

I have 100 watch friends who watched me!<3 Thanks so much for your supports everyone!;3

 EbonyMalice Is putting up a free raffle.<3 Please go to her journal if you want to join.:3 http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4660872/

I slept it off found some new friends and feeling good now.^^ I even took a nice hot bath....boy after that all my stress flowed out of me.^^

I am done with this shit. I don't know who to trust anymore as a friend! God my feelings and everything I feel dead! I am sick of being used and my feelings used. I can't tell who are my real friends anymore. At school I was bullied bad and thought I had friends I can count on but they went ahead and used me and hurt make to make themselves look better like them. I fucking wanted to die that day! Now today one of my friends did that except the pick on me part...he used my feelings. Right now I am just sitting crying out like pussy. Yeah 21 year who cries!

I fucking hate my life with my family and hate being used by friends who i thought I can TRUST! Fuck this...I can't tell if you all are my real friends anymore so its hard for me to trust anybody. And I have every right to feel like this!

*sits in the corner and cries* I hate my life.

The amazing  nekogirl1257 is doing a free raffle!


http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4642559/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4642559/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4642559/

Pretty good theme song for this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gkwf9G9NwXo

On my way home from school I see my family outside watching my little brothers play football as I tagged along. I laughed and played with them and as I was tackled by all three of my brothers and as I got a group hug the clouds went dark and my brothers laughter and my parents laughter died down. Everything was quite till I heard a noise that sounded like sands falling and as I looked at my brothers there faces started to disappear into dusts as in my hands were there ashes of smoke as I looked around seeing dead bodies of family that were burnt up along with the house. While I stare in horror in my hands I feel my body changing my human skin turning all black scale's like some lizard my feet got bigger as my toes turned to claws my hands started changing as my fingertips have claws growing as I fell to my knees my human chest and face turned to dust as I fell on knees as my appearance changed to a dragon my underbelly sliver as the rest are black my black hair now white with silver horns and as my hands it my lap I shook the last bit of dust off me as I cried tears coming down to my cheeks as I stared at my home and dead family. As I started having flashbacks of them good memories of them my sadness dieing away as I closed my eyes tight gritting my teeth breathing hard as the rage in me grows my bones cracking as I made a fist as I see more memories of my family as stare at the ground was a pick of my family with me as I picked it up I clutched it in my hands and bared a fist as I stared at the blade in front of me as I shook my head with my memories of my family I slowly look up as I the rage in my eyes stare at thousands of Demonic's surrounding me. I closed my eyes for a second as my brown eyes now changed to light blue eyes. I know know the creatures surrounding me want me dead but after what they did to my family I will not let them have that chance of killing me as soon as I get my revenge on those that gave me this much pain. I hear the thunderstorm grow as it starts to rain as I grabbed the blade and I stood up looking at the thousands of Demonic's coming up at me as I roared charging with one slice of my first victim.

StarDragon
Awakening of the New Stardragon
Book one

My parents a bunch a selfish bastards.:( After court there shouldn't be anymore of a fight...but of course mom starts something and dad don't want to start and they fight for like hours till I came out to try and tell them to stop they ring my ears with more...and more BULLSHIT. And guess what happened I fucking blew up I fucking literally destroyed the whole living room made a huge mess in front of them cussing at they telling them what pieces of shit they both are while do that. I even told them how I fucking feel seeing them fight being part of it either by one of them. And I even told them the killing myself part just to make it see if they care they were quiet for a minute to hear me out more I told them my room that you two call a cave is me getting the fuck away from you two. I proved and told them how fucked up I am and they however are listening but then they bring up shit that is about them.:/ Really mom and dad really I wouldn't even call you parents anymore but little satin's from hell.:< Selfish pieces of shits they both are they talk more about the money I said "FUCK THE MONEY!!!" Its all they care about all they ever care about. So you know what I told them how I feel and told everything I went through to you guys they were shocked. I even said that some of them went through shit and had to leave and never wants to be part of the family again. Pretty much thats how I feel about doing...and I even told them some of my friends said that I should move to somebody I know on here. They didn't say nothing about that but then later they are doing the blame game so mom went nuts my dog Butch he hates seeing them fight he shakes up like hell and he almost bit mom cause she went nuts she then kicks the little dog. I had to put him in my room right now he is fine but shaking up scared and he is calm now but first time that dog is ever spanked nor kicked. I told them mom your fucking nut and dad your the biggest ass in the family you both got problems and I am tired of being in it they always put me in it and you want to know what happened to me I will give you a hint fucked up mind bruises from both of them scratches....does that make me feel normal to be with this family. I asked god...why did you put me in this family what did I ever do to you. Of course he never talks to me so I pretty feel stupid typing that. Guys I am deserve better and you all are right I need to leave and I should 2 years is gonna be a pain in the ass to just wait till I finish college I would want to find someone who would take me in just till I finish college and save up money to move to be with Amy. But it be the first time for me leaving and going on a new world all on my own. But its better to do that they live here. You all don't have to but I got no job only job that I get paid doing is college the VA pays me to go every month. Except for summers though...don't know why but yeah.:/

Guys I just went crazy and they are cleaning my mess if I don't leave this might be last journal.:/ But like I said no job no money no where to go...I want to move to Amy badly but she is in college too and she is getting ready to start her 4th year after summer. Guys I am sorry for all the typing I am doing to tell you all what I am feeling buts its all the truth.

I can't take it anymore!!! I am about to fucking lose it! Both my folks are fucking nuts! They are fighting like crazy and YES they are fucking drunk! They can't stop ever! I want this court over with! But I wonder when its over what is dad gonna do. If he doesn't go to jail and if he is set free what will happen to us! I wonder if he is just using us and is gonna run away! They fight everyday bring ME IN IT!!! God they seem like they want me to kill myself and so far its working! I can't stop them from this I got no fucking locks for my room anymore I don't have anyone to come and take me away! I need to get away from here so bad but never come back!:c I'm sorry for acting like this but I am crazy...if I stick around I am not gonna make those 2 years for college I am not gonna make it!

Okay I just had like a major break through but I am not gonna go into details who fault it is but this is to inform everyone. When you start RP its fake its about your characters in action or whatever. I just had some thinking it was real.:/ No joke like one though I love this person like for real when I am meaning his/her character in RP not the real you. So now I am a bad guy cause they took it too seriously when they shouldn't and when i try to apologize they think I am a fucking player. Well you asked to RP and I asked you so know what Role Play is! Its a fiction story not us for real!:/ Get it through your thick skulls when i try to say sorry you act like babies and just say no were not friends anymore. FINE!!! Don't come crying when your not on my watchers list I may love art but I don't love getting treated like that. I got enough shit on my plate but if you want to go and say I don't want to be friends with you anymore then do it then Un watch me but stop bitching thinking Role Play is real cause other wise your gonna have problems making friends by doing that.:/ Sorry its the truth.:/

I just had a bad night last night with my dad him thinking I am a fucking loser do I really need this right now.:/ I got a depression problem and I just found out that....my doctor thinks I have PTSD. I thought only like military gets this but...young teens or kids get them when they go through problems seeing there families fight and worse....like mine is...seeing a family member try to kill himself...yes I saw that I saw my father do that 3 times and I saved him. So like my father I am a nut I might make my kids go through hell like my dad did to me. Which is why I should be called a loser! Cause I know I will end up like him....see people...I even said it before I am scared of me cause i know I will be like my father...

I am a loser....my father said well some things that well hurt me....he is drunk probably cause of the stress of court today but now postponed to thursday. He might go to jail...but now that he might have a few days left he now says hurtful things to me...like for instance....I have problem whispering cause of my well...allergy problem he comes up and says I shouldn't even be a marine cause I would get everyone killed I am like something that can get anyone killed. And when I asked my mother i need to get the sheets cleaned he says its probably cause I am in my room all day being in a CAVE. He has hurt me so much I don't feel like myself typing this....to be honest....I do feel like a loser....not trying hard enough for my father....when I look at myself....it gets me sick to my stomach...how much of a loser I am.

I'm a loser...don't matter what no one says...my mind is screaming over and over and over again and I just repeat it....I am a loser....I am a loser....I am a loser....I am a loser....I am a loser...I am a loser....I am a loser....a loser who should just die....it would free me....from being so much of a loser....cause I am a loser. I. AM. A. LOSER.

Happy Easter Everyone!:3

Anyone...I am bored.:(

Come on don't leave me hanging.:(

I love this new xbox360 it has a router built in it and best part I got a skyrim game with it which you guys know on my last journal.XD But on this Halo 4 game I got a 14 day xbox live trial and plus with the xbox I got a 30 day pass! So I have just put the Halo 4 gold card pass in!

NOW HERE IS MY ANSWER TO THIS!!! Whats your Gamertag names if you want to play me and send me your gamer tag name just send it on notes!

TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!

Last friday I noticed dad looked a bit high and after spying on him I saw weed. He was smoking pot. Next just today he was all drunk acting more cocky he wanted to use my computer but I asked him why he needs it...he told me he won't tell me nor say anything. So I said no. Then my mother couldn't find the phone in her room so as I helped find it. I found it under the bed and I looked it up and it had a number I never seen before so when I showed it to mom we called it and the answering machine came on. It was his ex girlfriends work station. He was calling her behind our backs and even went ahead and lied saying mom did it. We all kicked him out and called his father...my grandfather and he was pissed he said he is calling the VA tomorrow and forcing them if he has to to get half of dads VA money. Dad wasn't suppose to call her but...there was proof.:/ He will go to jail now and I am calling his lawyer tomorrow and making sure he gets the evidence and dad will go to jail.

Pretty much I am happy he is gone now....I hope rots in hell. Dad if your reading this....this means right here its over.

Just feeling bored and want to RP.:)

I wrote this journal http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4332052/ to explain how I feel and I have just three people who care about me. The rest who know me and talk to me hardly ever reads my journals of bad days I had...or how I am feeling. I feel like I am being pushed away...I even went on Skype to talk with one of you guys but...you guys never commented me for like hours I gave up. Cause I know they are either not in the mood to talk to me....but they seem like in the mood to chat with other people. Sorry but its true...its really hurting to be on here to talk with you guys cause you guys never come and say hey how are you or you doing okay. I had to say that to you guys but when ever I feel sad or hurt at home and write it in my journal none of you commented. Except 3 people who did are on that journal the third one talked with me on notes.

I guess writing that journal is a waste of my time! So I probably wasted you guy's time as well. Well don't worry you guys can do all that. I myself will be Haitus on here.

Hope you all enjoy yourselves.:( Cause I am tired of being the nice guy on here...

Holy shit guys I just got home and right now a meteor hit russia and luckily no one got her but the damages were a bad though but nothing big but everyone did get scared an now an asteroid is on its way right now at 2:45pm at night.O___O Now I am fucking scared even the news crew were nervous.O__O They couldn't tell how big it is yet....which now I am worried.>_>;

I had a site I love going on to which is F-List if those who don't know what it is its a RP site where you RP with other people. Well I had friends on there I thought WERE friends but then when I returned for like a month later they don't remember me but then now they look at there friends list and remember me. I talk with these guys every day for a while and I was just gone for a month and they don't remember me.:( All I had was one friend who remember me but the rest don't...it makes me wonder why I even write this journal since hardly anyone even comments on here. I only had a few on here who do but is not a lot I thought of.>_> Usually I have to go up and say hello to everyone who I talk to but kinda seems like I don't get that in return...why do I fucking bother. I am sorry but its true this is how I feel right now...it makes me wanna never be on a computer ever. I got no friends outside the computer they are all gone I am just by myself. But like I said what is the point of writing this I might just get no comments on here.

Son of a bitch!!! I have every right to be pissed off today!:< I failed on a math test and got a fucking 68!!! I got screwed son of a bitch!!! I worked my ass off and studied hard with tutors and I understand it all and I got an F!:< I had an A in that fucking class and now I got a fucking D!!! GOD I WORKED SO FREAKING HARD!! I worked so fucking hard I didn't even get enough sleep cause how hard I studied!!! Fuck you math fuck you math teacher and fuck you test!!! DAMN IT!!! I believe I passed I believed I did it I passed it I even checked it and I believed in my gut that I did it! God I am so stressed out about it how the hell am I gonna pass now on the next test in February! Those big tests even the fucking exam on May is gonna screw me! God I am trying not lose my mind in the library!

I forgot to out this in but last tuesday was my birthday and I am now 21 years old!;) Will be drinking my first beverage on the first.lol