Holy shit okay I was chatting with Amy and what I got for christmas and showed her the new xbox360 250 GB which comes with a 1 month membership and 2 games one was this racing game and the other is to Download Skyrim! But I never had tried getting Xbox live so I was disappointed till I found out my Xbox has a fucking router built in! I was jumping for joy and signed up on Xbox live and I I just now downloaded Skyrim! I was really happy I almost cried! Guys this new year is getting good I was having a break from the evil 2012 and now this 2013 is getting a good start lets hope it goes well more. Cause so far we got rent paid and I am starting college I won a contest on FA. ( Since when do I fucking win anything NEVER but I did!XDDD ) And now I got Xbox live in! I am so happy but right now I need some sleep.:) I will play Skyrim tomorrow.:aww:

I am ready for college!:la: SO BRING IT!!!>D Fuck my father so far I think his luck ran out now cause he has lost everything and college is helping me and my families bills as well. Just bring it!!!>D

Alright I am heading to bed I love all of you out there!:la: Night!

I want to wish you all a Happy New Year!

Me and my family will not have a christmas cause of my father.:/ But you know what I thought god had woken dad up for what he has done but obviously didn't do a good job at that. He ripped up the separation papers and shit and now went back to this girl.:/ Really you know I thought this is a time of year to be happy but now I feel dead. I never felt like this before but now its happened this month is nothing now. My father chose drugs and that girl over us! I am treated long enough from this world coming at me.

But I got more important things to worry about then the time of year now its called trying to stay alive from drug dealers. Cause dad is going to jail for doing drugs and he said if we did that to him he will get drug dealers to come and kill us.:/

THAT FUCKING LIAR!!!:( My dad was gone all night and we found him with his old girlfriend and his friend splaying baseketball!:( He fucking lied to me! He said he want the family back but used us to get drugs a new truck and to fuck our minds!:c Oh god he lied to me and my mother and everyone!:c

He betrayed us again!:c And now I hear if we call the cops on him for doing drugs he will call the drug dealers to come and kill us but you know what bring it! I got beaten up from my brothers and treated like shit I barricaded myself in my room. I will kill those drug dealers if they come here!:< Once I finish dad I will finish them all! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1kzVujnH1ag

Okay uh just look. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHae5QdltJU


While you all do see the link I am gonna fall to the floor laughing.

Please help my best friend Rose. Read this journal. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4082509/

Please help her. Her art is really awesome.

Hello guys this just something to let you all know that when I work and when I am off to be free on here. Here is my schedule that I work. I work 40 hours a week. Here is my full time work.

Monday- 7:30am-6pm

Tuesday- 7:30am-6pm

Wednesday- 7:30am-6pm

Thursday-7:30am-6pm

Friday- 7:30am-12pm ( This is something of over time but I don't have to work on this day like they said.:) )

Saturday and Sunday I am off as well as friday since I don't have to work.:)

I work 10 hours a day Monday- Thrusday so I will be very busy and tired. Which I am right now.@__@; Okay that is all better get ready for bed to work tomorrow.:) Night all!^^

P.S Everything at home is fine still at home.:)

Okay guys yes he is back but there is somethings I know please hear this. My dad was used like a slave from drug dealers and this girl he is with is one of them and for the past 7 months she is taking his money and using it to buy whatever she and her spoiled brat of her son whatever they want. The reason dad was mean is cause he didn't want us involved in it. He did tell us he wanted to come home and he missed us but he was afraid to put us in danger. Well when we were moving to a new house on the 1st day we got a call from dad and he really wanted to come hose he said he just got away from her and her friends but he didn't want to come back till we moved out of our old house and well after about 3 days later we almost got everything I heard a knock like close around 11pm at night and when I went to check it was dad. He smelled like sweat he did tell us he was walking around all day and he was afraid he lost us but he found us yesterday. He told us we have to hide cause this girl is a nut he told us this girl got my moms note to ask dad to come home and she tore it up and she beat our chevy traverse truck that dad took when he left with a bat and said my mother did it but dad said he knew it wasn't my mother. But anyway he is skinny as fuck so I know dad is truthful now but it would take time to forgive him but also...I am glad he is back he has his money now still to help pay our rent again.:) ( I did get worried about that.) But today dad helped us getting food and shit and he really missed thanksgiving christmas everything with us. My mother was right and she said it just before dad came home. "The grass isn't greener on the other side." My mother said that and now my dad. My dad is really sorry and he knows it will take time to heal. But as for the girl she is looking for us now...dad I mean but she knows maybe he is with us. But good luck finding us.XD And Karma got her instead of dad she will have to pay $1500 of rent of her new home without my dads money.lol She is screwed.

We called the VA today to see when we will get our money and they now told us he has gotten his paycheck but we asked what about ours. They said working that out will take 9 months. Its over guys...its over...9 months no va money. And mom hasn't heard word from my aunt and my moms friend time to help us get to MD. Guys its over now....this saturday is when we will be kicked out of this house...we will be on the streets. No one is gonna help us and I am sitting here typing and crying. I knew praying to god was a waste of my time. Yeah I am blaming him too if hadn't taken my mothers family we had a home to be in. Dad is still winning he still will not pay child support...no one will save us. Encouraging me and everything won't help us guys...its over were gonna be living in the streets for life. Even after I type this it don't matter anyway...

So um...I guess this is my last journal entry here...I'm sorry everyone. I love you all and I love you Amy.....all our plans I written forget about it.

Just today my mother and I had a fight again a fight SHE started. Okay here is what started its about me getting a job. But thats what I was doing I was getting the recreational lady to help me find one. Plus we got no gas but my mother insisted on finding me a job to help pay the bills but I like talked with mom that it be impossible we got no gas I am serious its like above E.:/ I told her till we get the VA and move I will get a job and a license and besides it be a waste to do that here. I finally get one and then in 2 weeks we might leave if the VA gives us the money. But she throws a fit of how I like to sleep in. Um okay mom so do you like a 2pm in the after noon.:/ And plus she sleeps like till 8pm and sleeps the night.:/ So what will my job do we got the $909 to pay the utilities and plus the rent is free till we get the VA because the people who we pay rent to are helping us. But she throws a fit about it and I keep telling her I am trying and guys I am really trying.:stare: Its not easy finding a job I thought it was but it ain't.:/ She then talks about my age that I don't have a job and blah blah blah.:roll: Okay mom here is the thing your 41 you let two 11 year old brats treat me like dirt and you put me down and you also keep telling me you want to find a job but I don't see you do it.:/ She thinks my payment will pay rent....bull shit. I can't make that type of money and pretty much I told her I want to wait monday and find out on the VA so we can leave and move to Maryland and its around this month.:/

But guess what I found out as well...its no fucking wonder dad left.:no: I just found out when I gave her my pc before the fight she brought up about my friends am i getting a job yet when for the past 6 months we had no car but finally we do!:stare: She told them...and was talking bad about me with her friends. So I said for her to give me the pc and she throws it down but no damage is done she called me lazy. Yeah okay I am lazy I will admit that but I have been phoning and finding a job while you sit and complain to the world. But yeah she was talking bad about me with her friends.:/ So now I don't feel like going to Maryland.:grump: She fucking did that to me!:< I feel more dead now for what she did she is NEVER using my PC again she crossed that line for the last time!:grump: First dad calls me a piece of shit and now she tells her friends about me harsh things about me behind my back! I feel dead and heartbroken guys....:depressed: But...I can't leave nor do I have the money nor gas to get a job nor get to my college.

Well...thats what our plan is to move to MD but...I have to face her friends but after college...I am gone....and I am never going back to see her nor dad nor....anyone.:depressed: Thats for real.:(

First about my father. As it seem tomorrow is the day he gets arrested because he owes us still the child support.:/ And if he don't before 1pm on the 1st. NA NA NA NA....NA NA NA NA Hey Hey Hey he is going to Jail!XD NA NA NA NA....NA NA NA NA Hey Hey Hey he is going to Jail!XD Sing along with me.XD

Plus Halloween is awesome my little bros got a lot of candy.:o Also want to say Happy Halloween everyone!8D

We finally got word with our lawyer and we asked him about child custody and alimony to fight for. According to him he said we need $1500 for the child custody to have full custody for my bros to fight and $200 for the court to have all that we need to fight for. But...problem is...how the hell will I get that money. Dads girlfriend sounded confident of taking them away from us.:( Guys if my bros get taken away from us they will suffer what I went through when I was little. My dad abused me I seen him do drugs I seen him do crazy things to haunt me....I can't have my little bros have those nightmares I can't save myself back then from those nightmares but then can! I just need help...if we don't get this they are in trouble.

As much as they drive me crazy they are my bros.....we need help.

Does anyone want to RP if so please comment here and we can begin anywhere I got a yahoo messenger, Skype, or here is fine. If F-list as well we can do that too.^^

Again! She went to dads place when I told her to leave him alone she didn't now she finally opens her eyes with a broken heart with the twins I told her a thousand of times to leave it alone. And now just about a little bit ago my bros were fighting and throwing shit at each other so when I came in to break it up Jack and Jared start beating me up and throwing shit at me. And yes they are 11 I better not be laughed at! I can't hit them! But guess who sides with them! MOM! She sided with them Jordan looked at her like wth mom as I heard the twins laughing I was pissed when I turned to them they threw something hard in my head which knocked me out for a second! And she tells me to get the hell out! As I got up she yelled at me saying its my fault in my face spitting me. And I pushed her off me and told her off again! I said I fucking hate your guts I did everything I could for you and you put me down and those fuckers get away with it! They fucking threw something hard like a brick at my head my head so sore and swollen!>_<; She tells me I am disrespectful! Guys I want you all to tell me am I disrespectful! I got attacked by 2 11 year old boys who I can't hit back and I got mom who lets them get away with this shit she tells me I am disrespectful! You know what thats one of the reasons my father left! I should do that but I don't know where to go! I don't know if Aunt Carol will offer to take me and start my college in Maryland...but its better there then over here!>_<; Guys its not me....I swear its not I did everything I could for her but she and everyone treat me like a ghost like I don't exist! I am not saying that to be angry...its the truth.:cries: And if Carol doesn't take me where will I go!

I'm sorry for telling you all this guys....but who should I tell....I'm alone in my room treated different in this house... She said to me I am also a piece of shit. Another one....my dad said that to me when he left....and now...my own mother....don't say its from when mom lost dad....its not its her...and she let it out on me saying that....she said I act just like dad....I fucking hate those words just like dad. Guys...I don't know what to do...I give up...I am so messed up in my room....I am so broken right now....I feel like I just want it to end....I am loser in this house...I was a loser at school...I am loser...born as a loser.

I have been so depressed all morning thinking of dad...why did he leave us with another women. While we either starve and scrap of what we got to pay our bills and rent. He is off spending our money for this girl while we are left confused and fending for ourselves....I trusted my father for everything....EVERYTHING! My heart just broken for what he said to me behind my back....he called me a piece of shit. It happened right after WM28. I trusted dad with all my heart that he will be better....by the end of the month he left us....and for the last 5 months I have been holding this in. I am crying....cause I trusted all my heart and it is torn to shreds. My heart is in pain I am letting all my tears right now. I keep on feeling like if would I end up like him. I'm scared guys...I have had nightmares of my dad every night and I didn't want to sleep any more. I am crying right now because this is really hard for me to type so...I just...had to get it out after holding it for 5 months....I had a damaged up heart that I don't know can never be fixed....I got no friend irl but you guys. But....every time I do have something wrong and wright this journal....I get no comment to my friends....I can't tell if your reading it or anything....it just sounds like....I am a nothing just like dad and it kills me. I'm sorry for writing this...but sometimes it helps.

Hey guys I wanted to ask with permission and everyone to watch my friend here.  Nm_Enji He is really nice and an awesome friend to talk to.^^ His art is impressive as well.:) So please watch him!^^ He would like to make new friends here!^^

If your a fan of Batman The Dark Knight you need to see this.XD

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBsd.....amp;playnext=8

2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Svd4.....B286C039A1A25E

3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVW6.....B286C039A1A25E

4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOg3.....B286C039A1A25E

5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01vW.....B286C039A1A25E

6. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTLp.....B286C039A1A25E

7. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpzK.....B286C039A1A25E (This one is my favorite.XD )

If you all want some laughs I advise you to watch this.XD And call a doctor if your ribs are sore.

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3891346/

My mother has lost her mind she was trying to give a note to dad how much she missed him but I told mom not to go over there but she won't listen. Then she has a break down and we keep telling her if you take dad back we are leaving. She then said she is all like 22 years gone I just want him to see. But I said he don't care about us mom 5 months in this house and your gonna take him back! He then brings up about my girlfriend which is way different cause we are not married. She then says it again that I still love him I want him back and I said me and my bros don't. Then she said this that hurt me.....she said I think your GF is a fucking loser so you and her can go fuck your selfs cause I HATE YOU. After she said that....I cussed her ass out and walked up to my room and now she is gonna leave and go see dad with my bros. I don't care anymore....she fucking hurt me and now she is off being a fucking loser wanting that piece of shit father back....

You know what I went through with him I seen him try to kill himself 3 times and saved him, he fucking has a fist fight with me that he started with me and now him leaving mom with another girl. I want to get out of here but I go no where to go....I just want to start college and fucking leave to CA so I can be with my girl....(

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3817741/

go enter, the raffle ends tonight, 21:00 (pm) new york time