I feel bad for people who back a number of Patreon artists. Especially the comic patreons.

Quality drops in either art or story, or both. It stops getting taken seriously and as long as the artist keeps making money off the people who only care about having something to fap to, nothing goes amiss.

It speaks a lot though to how easily people are to throw away money and why so many artists (and some with great potential) do not make it as a professional because of this attitude.

I honestly don't know who to feel bad more for: the arts that elect to not achieve their full potential or the backers who care so little that they allow themselves to be scammed.

I admit I envy to some of them for the talents they have from the perspective of a struggling writer in the works, but I am glad I am still able to grow and haven't lost my senses. My work is still evolving and I'm spreading my wings out past the fandom and aiming for the life of being a professional.

I just hope one day, some of them will to.

So time to let people know somethings that have been going on!

I started college and ended up passing my classes with A this quarter and am looking forward to Winter Term. I enjoyed taking Marine Biology and Spanish, though one was more fun and difficult than the other. I have decided to stick with writing so I am majoring in English and still indecisive about my minor. I am also thinking about the possibility of a double major.

I am still single and can't say if I am looking or not. Right now, I think I just want more friends to hangout with more often. So expanding my social circles in general.

Umm oh! I got a new job after being spontaneously laid off from previous on a few months ago. There's only been a few issues with coworkers but I am doing all that I can and the bosses are seeing it. I'm even getting compliments from customers who point me out to my bosses. Hopefully that will make it so they don't let me go like previous job.

I talk to my parents every now and then. My Dad came up to visit me for Thanksgiving and we had a good time playing pool and going out bowling. He still creams me of course, though I can say I have gotten better.

Am looking forward to FC next month. Hopefully will be able to spend time with people this time. Won't have the same problem as last year. :)

Lets see, what else...school, work, FC . . . hmm wow. I don't have anything else I think. I am either really boring or have no life. Maybe both? Haha.

If want to know anything else, drop me a line!

I got a new phone!! Do NOT write your number in a comment if you don't want EVERYONE online to get it. If you want me to text ya, note me!!

Yay! Am 24 today!! I can has birthday humps? =3

This is why I do not see the point of donation comics. The ones where the artists says "If you want this comic to continue, then will need donations".

In all honesty, that doesn't sound like a free comic to me anymore. Using the word "donate" but saying for it to continue, if someone has to be given money still, then it is not really free. It's like those "Free car wash with $5 donation signs" I see. Learn what the hell donate means.

What I don't trust about it though is people WILL donate but then suddenly, the artist can still (and quite a few have) done this comic donations but will just abruptly end the comic because life comes up or they just get tired of it, etc. Either way, it is not a for sure thing that the comic will ever actually reach an "end". Most people don't even say how long their comic is going to be.

This can turn into a scam easily and I think that if that statement is made, people who donated on the previous page should be given their money back if they donated for a next page that is never going to be made.

So it came to my attention that a person I know got arrested.

I'm going through my messengers again and doing a clean up.

Some people feel like it is too much effort from one side and a friendship should feel like it requires so much "trying".

Just giving a heads up.

To any and all who want to say something to me but are too cowardice, then I hope you read this or come across it.

If I do something that bothers you, no matter how small, tell me directly.

If I don't know something bothered you, I sure as hell will not be able to apologize or guarantee that it will not happen again if it is not obvious that it bothered you. If nothing is said, I am going to assume it is okay to do. If nothing is said, do not have the ignorant and false belief that it won't happen again/will change next time.

Do have the decency, respect, and THE BALLS to tell it to me either directly or e-mail, or whatever you, YOURSELF in some way.

I am sick of hearing from people "so and so wanted me to tell you/they were bothered by...". Do NOT involve a third party/messenger because then it is bringing them into the problem, and many friendships get ruined that way.

The excuse of you don't know how to contact me, will not fly. If you are able to tell someone who does know me, and to my friends who read this and this happens, please reply in a similar manner, "This is between you guys so please do not involve me. If you have something to say, I can give you his FA and IMs and you can talk it out with him."

It is pathetic and immature when "adults" have the "tell mommy and daddy" mentality while they snicker behind a corner, thinking they are safe from any repercussions.

If you do not tell me directly, then WHY should I give a flying fuck or respect you if you don't respect me enough to tell me what is wrong? Answer: I just will not.

If reasoning is legit, then I will give a sincere apology and not repeat the offense.

It is amazing how Furries will try to outbid each other for what can cost cheaper as a commission.

Just saw one posted recently for just a "top". Nothing special or different from what the artist normally draws or being offered. Just their (the artist's" character behind fucked (and is seen with multiple partners already) by who ever bids the highest and it was at nearly $200.

I cannot help but laugh at the, to me at least, sheer stupidity of it. Why waste, yes, WASTE, $200 on something that is not different than the artist's normal commission price of about $50-$60? And on a personal level, the artist's work is nowhere near the quality of $200's worth.

The only thing that I can pull out of it is people wanting either braggers rights or some falseness of being better than a person by "beating" them. Either way, I see it as 90% an ego thing which always a thing to be pitied.

Artists need to earn a living people will say, and there is truth to that, and there are YCH that I have seen are worth the final bid, but come on...mostly of the time I am seeing the obvious scam behind it and can't understand why some people will still do it.

Decided to revive my account.

Anyone else on it?

http://www.ign.com/articles/2014/01.....ovie-announced I am so excited!!

Although I already don't like how they made Murray. He looks too 'stretched'.

Compare to these shots of him, and you will see what I mean.

http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/_...../2d/Murray.png

http://static2.wikia.nocookie.net/_.....Sly4murray.png

Stolen from this scalie! ->  gilian

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes, Sir! ^-^

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?
Too groggy in the morning, but morning wood is always there, afternoon is fine, but am more of a night time dog. ;D

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Doesn't matter. Rolls over in spot. zzz

4. Do you masturbate?
<<.....>>......yeah... >//<

5. How often? Lately?
When penis demands attention and there's no one else around to take care of it.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
Not yet. Most people cannot afford it. \(^-^)/

7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers to get cleaner, baths for relaxing. <3

8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Hmmm done naughty things but not full on sex. ^//^

9. Do you watch/read pornography? With other people?
Yes and yes I have. X3

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive?
Am alright with either as long as they know what they are doing and are not only for themselves. :3

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
I care about all my friends, but still figuring out what 'love' is. 3:

12. Do you know all the people on your friend list?
Not all, but a few. ^_^

13. Would you choose love or money?
Like would I marry/date to get into a person's wallet? No I am not that pathetic. >:C

14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
1) Oral 2) Frotting with or w/o underwear. 3) Light Bondage (Collar, Leash, cuffs, etc) B)

15. Have anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Oh yes. >.<

16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
Has yet to happen in a 'romantic' place.

17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
A senpai's front yard. >/////////<

18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Nope

19. Have you ever been to a strip joint?
Actually, I have not. Been to bars during underwear night, seen gogo dancers, but not an "official" strip joint.

20. Ever been to a bar to get sex?
Never went for that reason, but have tried after being there. X//3

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reason?
Not yet!

22. Ever been picked in a bar?
No I have not. :D

23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Is only sex I will do such stuff with.

24. What's your sexual preference?
Guy on guy.

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
Weeeeeeelllllll....didn't finish so guess this is no. Where's rule book for this? D:

26. Had sex in the bathroom?
Technically was in door way, so yes?

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
Need job to be able to do that, haha!

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Of course! XD

29. Bought something from an adult store"
Yes, yes I did.

30. Do you own any toys?
No I do not.

31. If yes, how many what are they?
0

32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or you on film?
If they kept them, then yes.

33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Never!

34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Does texting and sending pics count? Damn it! Where's that rule book?!

35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
Yeah...

36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Penis is going into a hole, so yes.

37. What's favorite sexual position?
Lazy dog would be my favorite

38. What's your favorite sex act?
Oral, receiving and ending.

39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Nope!

40. Who do you think has the guts to re-post this?
Anyone who's bored enough to do it. :P

Overall, as my first time at FC, I had a pretty good time. Though I was mostly split between two staff departments, I did miss quite a bit of things I wanted to do. Sorry if seems out of order and forgot names, didn't write everything down xD Will do better con report next time!

Thursday

My roommate Lycan and I walk to the Marriot and almost immediately I run into my friend  Sharkel in his new suit and it was so cute! I left him to enjoy his suiting and walked around for a bit till our other roommate,  huepow00 and his boyfriend showed up to make two trips to get our stuff from home and drive it back to the hotel. After that was done, I decided to walk around and see what the place looked like and ran into another friend,  strikercue12, and met his roommates Mick, Badger, and one more person, and hungout with them in the Hilton. He showed me his husky suit and did a quick run to the nearby Safeway. Boy was that a confusing place to shop, haha!

Friday

So I wake up and almost immediately text everyone to see who was here and was available to hang out with. So the first person to hang with was my socal buddy  jpa2blue, whom introduced me to his roommate Zeek and showed me a few of his new suits. then went down to the Marriot's fitness center to do some exercising and show me a few at home exercises I can do to help my progress (which I will say is going great). After that, I accompanied him while he donned his homemead King cosplay suit (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12486474/) and helped him take photos.

While walking around with him I ran into  grisser and was introduced to his boyfriend Humblewolf (not sure of their FA), finally got to meet  graveyardgreg, whose webcomic Carpe Diem, led me to the fandom (go read his stories!!).

I got to see  Anji-kun and finally met his boyfriend Asylum and sort of met Kuzzie. Also in their room I talked to  GarageCrew and met his boyfriend  Leothelion. Was able to show them my new shiny Umbreon suit and now the pup wants to get one too (Copy Dog!).

Got to see  HiroshiHusky in his (literally) new suit.

That was all I got to do before I had to go and do my con duties.

Saturday

Saturday I had more free time thankfully. Since it was my first further confusion I decided to bring out my semi-retired fursuit for the fursuit parade, where I saw  rubberkitten and his boyfriend Devilpup, whom I haven't seen since califur 2 years ago, so I was excited to see them again, and meet their bunny  buckyroo. His bunny hood was so cute! Later (REALLY LATE) that night I did more exercising, this time with the bunny and RK, under his instruction, and he took this opportunity to show off his singlet which caused him to catch another person's eye, which he laughed about later. On the way back up to his room that night, we ran into and I got to meet  TkCoyote and I couldn't help but give his neoprene harness a tug and let Bucky try on my fursuit head, which seemed to make him really happy. I had to admit, it fit him (if he posts pic of it, will link it here).

Participated in poker tournament and lasted a pretty good while, managed to knock two people out, and is here where I met whom had two head to head counts of trying to knock each other out.

Caught up a bit with and :Dreamousicon (buy their stuff!) whom was able to return to
his badge that I found, whom thanked me later on.

Forgot which day and throughout the Con

So sadly my memory is up to this point is scramble so here are snips.

People I got to see again include,  Whiskeyfoxtrot,  G-Hyena, Growly,  balto_woof,  qubi,  Yoshi_Yosuke,  pamfer,  ChancetheDragon, , , and many other NorCal locals (you know who you are)!

People I finally got to meet/met for the first time include, , , , , SulferDragon, bigtig and so many others but can't list them because of how FA does things TT__TT If you saw me, hit me up again!

All in all, I enjoyed myself, though will be honest, there were times I didn't enjoy as much but is done and over with.

Lastly, I will say this. Heard I pissed a lot of people off and I have this to say (Drama ahead):

I have NO means to apologize for something I do not know about since no one had the balls or decency to speak up to my face. If complaints are about a lack of 'tact' then I have two things to say to that.

1) To not say it to my face and instead complain to people I know is such a lack of tact, they should not speak. I am an honest and free speaker which is a good and bad thing. If I do something offensive to someone, then tell me and I will fully apologize and mean it if it was truly such a bad thing but have the respect and courage to tell me to my face if you want things to change next time. If nothing is said, nothing will change so it is pointless to think otherwise.

2) With furries there IS NO SUCH THING AS TACT! Especially since apparently a bunch of people I seem to have "pissed off" were people in hotel room I was sharing were causing a pseudo orgy, that they faces were near so deep in cock, they didn't see my face when I meant a statement jokingly. Morale of the story: Look before you bitch.

I honestly do not care about a bunch of furries whom I may piss off if they do not have the guts to speak up to me. Also, it is impossible to please everyone and be friends with anyone. The people who take the time to know me, and not just a three day period, especially for a few minutes, and take that to judge me completely, you are not worth my time anyway if the mindset is set to that low.

There will always be some way, no matter how small, a person can be offended so it is pointless to always worry about such a thing. The best thing a person can do is be honest, and honesty can be both good and bad depending on a person's perspective.

I've heard I pissed off people and don't like me, well I met new people who thought I was awesome and did like me, so keep in mind time and situations shows MANY sides of a person.

And that is the end of my report. I cannot wait for next year! If by any chance you see me in pics, link me please!! Also anyone who wants to hit me on an IM go ahead and feel free. Always fun to talk to people :)

I am fine with people leaving me as I am use to it.

When told why, I am even more okay with it.

That is because I see no point in fighting for people who want to be "fought" for.

When things are said like "I am nice enough to tell you I am deleting you" already is being stuck up. Yes it is nice, but that's like telling a person pointing a gun at you "I am gonna call the cops". You don't say it unless you WANT the person to do something to you to prevent it.

Will talk with the person for a bit to understand their reasoning. If something like "you haven't talked to me in [insert time amount]" then I will say "what stopped you from talking?" If I have to be the one to always get you to talk to me, which is what I perceive that as, and you don't care enough to talk on your own, then you don't see me as enough of a friend to talk to.

So yes, I know about my flaws that will drive people away, but I will not feel bad when people do such things as listed above or cry and say "will do anything if you just stay". To be brutally honest, things listed above tickle my sadism because it's showing how much of a desperate fool they must be and though I will feel bad that they must feel alone or sad to say that, to me, if feel they are as lazy and an air of arrogance to make such statements, I will just snicker behind my screen as the foolishness it will seem to me.

Friendship is a two way row. One shouldn't be the constant starter of things, especially if it is online.

If this journal has pissed anybody off, then I am sorry, but I am being honest, which so many people say they want from their friends and other important people.

I am seeing a lot of artists doing this whole project thing of 'I am drawing and posting this comic for free' posts a few pages... then BAM!! 'want to see more? Donate to me to keep it going'.

That is BULLSHIT!! That is a contradiction to me and a horrible one at that. Is is not free then and it sucks when someone has to be inspired by money to draw shit. If you want money for art, THAT IS WHAT COMMISSIONS ARE FOR!!

I've even seen horrible writers on here starting to do that!!

If you are gonna want donations/money to push you to do 'free stuff' then something is wrong with you...

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5092045/ lookin for 19 other people!!

It happened. I got a twitter @.@

Emptying page shouts notes, and emails, coming across messages that were nostalgic and still hurtful because of what was said and who they were from.

The past is just that, the past and I want to move forward. I will not allow myself to be chained to what was nor cling to them.

I will continue to evolve. I will stand again if I fall, either by hand of friend or with my own strength. Other wise, I will not live.

Update and such is owed so here is for you guys to read.

I have now been living in San Jose for a little over a week now and I am still trying to adjust and get used to new surroundings and having and living with a new boyfriend, which is both fun and a lot of work, more so than I thought. Going through the "living together" in phase and he is adjusting to having someone around. He is so used to being independent and having things his way for living like that for so long, that it does bring up some bumps, but we all have to work on getting used to being around each other now on a daily basis.

As for a job, he has had me on a, what I guess can be called a vacation period, so I have not turned in applications yet. Heck, I haven't even gotten to unpack fully yet, but getting that done this week starting today. I've already seen places with 'hiring' signs and going to hit them up, so do not go thinking that I am being lazy and not looking around still any of you!

As for how my family is, I honestly cannot care less. The only thing I do care about them, is I do not want them to end up homeless, hospitalized, or dead. Recently I received a text from Mother stating that they received another eviction notice due to stepdad's former boss (whose name is on the lease or something like that) has filed papers to have that done so. I see that as a great thing! I'm out and away from it, this will force Mother to actually get out and away from stepdad, and stepdad and all the druggies he's let stay there are getting what's owed. As for dad, have not talked to him much since I've been here. Mostly due to the fact that he didn't believe I was gonna leave and then stating it was stupid of me to leave but he is glad that I am away from that hazardous environment. I know my parents care on some level and in their own ways, I just wish that it didn't turn out the way things did.

As for where I am living now, it does not come without its own flaws. For example, a neighbor was high on drugs caused a problem, he was stupid and called the cops, tried using my boyfriend in his words to get his way, but he was the one taken away, the irony is, just 2 days before he was saying how smart he was and that drugs are not that bad. Ha! Those whom stopped evolving never cease to amuse me.

Pros about new home though is that there is bus stop near by, am very close to where they hold Further Confusion and an Anime Convention. What I like most is I am 'in the middle of life and death'. Explanation: To right of us is Buddhist monk temple, which promotes life and to the left is a crematory, which is death. Anyone who knows me think this too may be ironic as well?

I have not made any new friends or really have gotten to hang out with people I know down here. Boyfriend's coworkers I have met and am friends on some level with 3 of them. I did get to spend time with an online friend of 4+ years for the first time while he was out in San Francisco, which made me so happy because he was doubtful about it happening. Showed I can be optimistic as well as negative.

Aside from that, I have not been able to socialize really or make friends on my own. I've thought about it and the two furs that I knew from when they lived down in SoCal and moved up here way back when, I guess it was rather presumptuous of me on what level friends we are, haha. What I mean is, I guess I am not not the hanging out with type person for them as I do not click with their current crowds, but I should've foreseen that right? After all, even when they were down there, we didn't get to socialize that much either, but they are still nice enough to send me a message back on IMs and such, so must mean are friends on some level and that makes me happy too. ^^

As for what do I plan to do now that I am away I haven't thought further than to look for work, look into schools, and save up money for when I am ready. I still think life would be easier if we had cutiemarks so many of us don't go through life feeling like we wasted time on things that were not meant for us. Lame with the MLP reference right? I was told my student version of software would no longer work since I am no longer a student, which makes sense, but I hope it still works so I can work on portfolio. I still would like to do 3D art and get better 2D, but I feel that it isn't what is meant for me, so I know I will not be great or get far with it, and I am not being negative when I say this. I still enjoy it, but know that it is not my calling.

To the friends I did leave, I am deeply saddened by you becoming a price I had to be to get out of where I was. I am lucky enough to still be able to speak to you via messages and e-mails and know that with conventions and just being a few hours away, we can meet again for a time. You guys were a big part of the reason I was able to make it through my ordeals and have helped me progress to where I am now. You've stuck with me, knowing how bad and mental I am, and I do not know how. I know it may not mean much, but I really don't think I would've be alive without the friendships that I have. And NO! I am not going to make another MLP reference >.> One is enough!

As for the stories, I know you are sick of waiting, and it is poor behavior how I have not produced anything yet and have no just reason. I can only say that I am working on it bit by bit and going over those small bits and making changes. To those who have been waiting patiently, it is greatly appreciated and I hope not all are gone and whom stays and reads, will enjoy it.

That is all for now. Will see what comes in the days ahead. Later!

I have moved from shitty and poisonous home into San Jose!! Wooo!!!

I have decided to move out. I've been wanting to and I kept my promise of seeing how things went around here during this school term.

Home, things are not getting better and there is nothing but the endless cycle of lies, fighting, and empty promises. Seeing stepdad actually cutting up drugs on a mirror yesterday was the final straw for me.

So I am moving up north to San Jose with a friend in August. I am happy, saddened, and scared.

I want to finish school and am scared and sad, but I cannot stay where I am for another year. This environment is affecting my school from being able to attend class to being unable to pay attention and tired due to trying to get work done and all the fighting every hour of the day when they are home.

I feel like I am going to end up like one of those drop outs and end up with nothing going for them, but I do not want that and will do my best so.

I plan to get a job, possibly 2 if I can manage (and hopefully handle) since will have to start paying bills (especially student loans). This is all new to me and I am nervous because I still do not know how to do all this and be an 'adult'.

I also plan on pursuing acting jobs both big and small because I miss and love performing, I just wish I didn't waste so much time into doing something I now feel doesn't fit me. Sometimes I kind of wish we had cutiemarks, you know? Then deciding what schools and places to go would be a lot easier lol.

Eventually, after saving up money and rebuilding my life, I will see about finishing school (if they let me) and think about attending a better school, hopefully a real university, for acting and music.

In the mean time, I will be working on my writing and drawing to see if I can get better and make some money as well.

Alright, here is the deal. I have not written anything worth posting on FA so am going to be working on a small series or however long it turns out to be. Will it have pictures to accompany it, maybe.

Me and with assistance from my friend  mooglepower will need a cast of 6 more people.

This is a summary:

Guy (Me) leaves city to get away from problems and broken past to rebuild himself, so he gets a job out in the country on a small ranch/farm (have not decided yet). While building his new life and recollecting himself, he meets the rest of the workers and learns more about himself through learning and sharing their experiences.

Things that will be in it:

-> Slice of life/life lessons

-> Violence and Language (it is a bunch of guys together, it is gonna happen).

-> Sex (This is not just all about sex so do not expect to see it in every chapter)

Things I need:

-> This is not a first come first serve deal about getting into this story.

-> If you want in, you will have to be willing to talk to me from time to time so I can get an idea of how you would we act or talk, so I can add realism and variety to the cast.

-> PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ATTENTION WHORES. Do not complain about face time or that you want more scenes.

-> If selected, will send a note asking questions and audition. After further selecting, will send those people confirmation note.

Roles needed:

*Requirements

21 or over

Species does not matter, but want a good variety so the more unique, the better.

1 spot per person. Do not care if you have more than one character. Pick character you think will fit the role,

NOTE: Blacksmith and Leather Craftsmen will be brothers, do not have to be same species.

Leather Craftsmen: Male

Blacksmith: Male

Horse Trainer: Male

3 farm hands for less specific jobs: Male

*Cast may increase or decrease, depending on the story progression. In that event, I will send out another casting call.

If possible, please add link to reference if possible also, help spread the word of this please. I have good feeling about this :)

Current Cast:

Ranch/Farm Boss: : mooglepower:

Newcomer: Me, : darkwolfala: