Hey all! Still moving through things a little slow on my end, thanks for your patience!!

So a very dear friend of mine has officially rejoined FA! I've been helping him through some terrible life circumstances and he's been really struggling for a long time. He's reopening commissions and he could really REALLY use some help affording rent this month!

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11083156/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11083156/
https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11083156/

His Ko-Fi if you can only afford to donate!
https://ko-fi.com/mikedragon

Hey everyone, hope you're all doing well! Just wanted to make a little write up to throw out there that I wish was a little more light hearted

As it would be I've been laid off from my job, which I was. Already anticipating to be honest, but that doesn't exactly make the situation feel better 🙃 I've never been completely unemployed as I've always worked at least part time. I had to leave my second job late last year due to health concerns and now my primary one's gone, too, and I'm honestly not feeling too great about it ahahh

Please don't worry too much! I'm in a more privileged spot than most and I'm not in immediate danger of losing housing. That all being said art is now my only source of income and I am going to have to prioritize job searching and the commission work I do under my public alias. I do still intend to finish up requests of course, they'll just be coming out in a bit of a longer time scale than intended. I hope you understand!


I am planning to have commissions open here soon. The requests are intended to be examples of what I can do that aren't tied to my primary account as I don't find it fair to ask for work without a decent idea of what I'm capable of. They WILL be completed! I don't feel totally comfortable offering commissions here given that, but given my situation, an interest check would be helpful for me! I likely won't be offering anything as rendered as the Blue-Eyes/Red-Eyes piece yet, but would you guys be comfortable commissioning me given only what I have to show right now? What kinds of things would you be interested in commissioning me for? Would you be interested in my SFW art as well? I'm not totally comfortable having my accounts openly linked to each other right now, but I'm okay with sharing my other alias privately if you're interested in what else I can do!

Thank you in advance for those waiting for your understanding, I'm trying my best to keep going strong and fast as possible!

Hey guys, thank you all so much for your patience! For those that gave me their characters in my last journal; I'm mostly caught up on my other work and the pin ups will start coming out this week! I'll be slow going and I'll be working in order of received so keep that in mind as you look out for yours :]

EDIT: Thank you guys for sending me your characters!! I'll be putting a cap on these for now. I'll be starting these throughout the next couple weeks :]

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As much as I could go cherry-picking characters from people I know I'd rather have direct permission!! Can I get some characters to do pin ups of for some sketch/rendering practice and commission examples? I'm looking to get some anatomy practice in and have fresh examples for when I open commissions back up!

I primarily wanna do dragons(feral or anthro), bugs, or some reptile-adjacent fellows, but I'm fine with anything that's not directly human-adjacent. Any gender, any parts, fun/unusual patterns or textures are a big plus! Will do fan art but I miiiiight be a bit selective about what character you're asking for. Can be NSFW or not on your discretion :] You can comment here with refs or note me them if you wanna be anonymous, but please have a visual ref and maybe tell me a bit about your character's personality!

I might be pretty slow on the drawing front(could be a couple weeks before you see it) and you'll get what you get, but hey free art! Just keep in mind that whatever you ask for WILL be posted. I don't know how many bites I'll get but I'll probably cap it between 5-10 doodles!

Maybe this will come as a surprise to you, I don't know, but holy shit I'm actually just so scared to post my stuffing art. Which is something I genuinely have an ENORMOUS backlog of hahdashjlk

I DONT KNOW WHY. WHY IS IT SCARY. ITS NOT EVEN RAUNCHY AND ITS NOT EVEN SOMETHING I GET OFF TO I JUST THINK ITS CUTE?? God uhh cute enough to draw obsessively on the weekly??

Why is THIS the thing that breaks me

Why is THIS the thing I'm afraid to show

God just the thought of anyone seeing makes my entire body crumple like tin foil

GUHFDY had to get that out of me in some capacity I'm so sorry I'm hoping that by talking about it I'll just like get over myself lmao

Sorry I haven't updated in a minute! Genuinely I haven't had much in the way of updates hahah

Life's been busy so I've just been truckin' along. Been getting more into commission work on my primary account so I've BEEN doing a lot of art, just not much to share over here unfortunately! I am looking to change that though. I'm going to try to set aside designated times for different flavors of art(personal, commissions, the webcomic, naughty stuff, etc). Hopefully that'll help me keep making everything I want, because there are a LOT of things I want to make in every direction and not a whole lot of time :')

I also jumped over to Bluesky for fun! I'd been waffling on making a twitter account to have another site to post on and to be real I just. Never ever wanted to lmao If you're active over there and wanna be mutuals I'm right here! https://bsky.app/profile/dead-chimera.bsky.social

Anyway I hope everyone's doing well! I'm going to focus on making a new ref for Chlorine(renamed from Claus) and introducing some characters I wanna make comics about next. Have a good holiday season if I don't see y'all first!

Hey so uhhhhhh

I think I’m back!


So long story short; I’ve been thinking things over for a few years now, almost agonizing about it really. There’s a few things I’ve come to terms with.

First is that I’ve been living with undiagnosed AuDHD for a whole 27 years of life, and I cannot tell you how much that has explained so many of my barriers to doing art! I spoke of a lack of motivation last time I was here, and wouldn’t you know I found that my drop in motivation coincided MOSTLY with me dialing back my caffeine intake. You know, a stimulant! Like they use to treat ADHD! I’m on proper medication now and I have finally found the productivity I had lost so many years ago. I almost feel young again, and I mean that to say that drawing finally feels good again.

Second is that I think that I’m actually okay with continuing to do NSFW art!

That is to say, I think I’m perfectly fine with it so long as I’m being commissioned to do it.

I don’t suddenly love drawing NSFW, but I will say that I have liked drawing ANYTHING better than literally any other activity I have ever done. I wouldn’t even say I hate it now that drawing doesn’t feel like a fight. Anything other than doing art feels like agony, and, well, I do still want to make a career out of it

I do feel scummy saying this, not because I think this work is beneath me but because I don’t like the idea of ONLY doing art for money. It won’t only be paid work, though! I’ve improved significantly and I have some older pieces I want to finish, some new ideas and characters I want to play with, and a comic series that explores some feelings I have about gender even? I’m not coming back demanding anyone commission me, I want to show you that my work will be worth your while first! I’m gunna start with giving the ol persona an updated design, one that comes with a new name!

I’m not ready to start posting again riiiiiiight yet; I actually have a few unrelated projects that are priority. I just want to throw something out there in the meantime. This chimera ain’t really dead!

I see a lot of people have watched me in the time I've been absent, thank you for your patience. I can't wait to meet you all! <3 In the meantime, be safe, have a good day, and if you're having trouble focusing on activities you love doing, please go see your local psychologist!

First off I just want to say that I really hope anyone reading this is doing okay during the pandemic! This is a very scary time and though I can't know or really help anyone's situation, all I can do is tell you to make sure you're staying home and away from others if you can help it, and that I hope you stay well. I don't want to dwell on it but I'm seeing less and less people around me taking it seriously. We're in a global catastrophe and I'm running into people at work that are legitimately ANGRY they we're having to take safety precautions. It's absolute nonsense. We can't change how other people are behaving during all this but we can always change how we behave ourselves. Please be smart and safe out there.

Other than that I uhhh, I definitely realize how long it's been since I've been on this account. I won't go into a huge amount of detail about it, mainly just cause I don't want to make anyone read a giant text wall, but I will do my best to explain.

Honestly, my disappearance is kind of two-fold. My main issues can be summed up as being my sexuality and my feelings towards sex, and just life in general.

I've said it before I'm pretty sure, I'm asexual and am generally uncomfortable around sexual topics. Nothing against anyone's specific fetishes or kinks or what not; Long as you're not hurting anyone! I don't really have an explanation for it myself aside from maybe just overexposure to something I never felt or understood. I was hoping to use this account as an outlet for some very confusing feelings and learn a little more about myself. I did learn quite a few things, but I think the most major thing I learned is that I just do not enjoy drawing porn. I was LOVING drawing and working with super beautiful character designs! I just couldn't stay passionate about something I have no interest in myself and I think that the quality of work I produced was absolutely effected by it. I couldn't produce my best quality work and just wasn't enjoying doing it, and I felt that was unfair to my watchers, my clients AND myself.

Also around the time I logged off last I was struggling with motivation so much that my regular art fell by the wayside, never mind this account. I was very tired and very sad for a long time for not a lot of reason. I do have major depressive disorder and during that time I was trying to find better ways and medications to help me manage it. It took me a very long time to find the energy to do much beyond my day job, and that "much" was focusing on trying to build a career in art. And then last September I lost my sweet baby boy to a very drawn out fight with cancer. As of today I have still not recovered. I still struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I have developed a whole host of health ailments that no doctor has had an answer for yet, that I feel may indeed be tied to my grief. But more than anything, I am still alive and I am still making art, that and tomorrow is a different day.


Big ol' TL;DR,
I came here today to say that I'm sorry for disappearing without warning, and that I don't actually know what's going to happen to this account going forward. I may use it to post art I don't think has a place on my main account, I might use it to draw for the world and story I made for "Dead Chimera" themself. I just don't think I'm cut out to be a NSFW artist. Either way, I will indeed let y'all know what my ultimate decision ends up being.

That being said, I AM still making art. I'm not toooootally sure I'm comfortable publicly sharing my real account out in the open right now, but once I wake up in the morning, I'd be more than happy to share my real account with anyone that asks individually! There's a lot of you I really did love talking to, so if you're still out there, so am I

Thank you if you made it to the end of this, I'll be checking any and all messages in the morning, past and future ones. I'll see you for whatever's to come <3





AMENDMENT
Now that I've gotten everything off my chest and had a moment of reflection, I very well may still try to run this account. I actually do have a few paintings I made for this that I'd still like to finish so I'd like to end up posting them! I'm really thinking I may end up just using this account for my more questionable themes including but not at all limited to probably mostly gore. And probably of characters no one was really asking to see gore of. Either way I'm going to sleep on it and I'll be available to talk in, about 7 hours. I see I do have a fair few notes I've missed and I will be getting to them!

Hey y'all sorry for all the extended absence! I think it's probably a good time for a quick burst update before I head off to work!

I'd gotten the question a few times so I want to put it out there, I am currently CLOSED for commissions until I can redo my price list. This doesn't effect any commissions that're already in progress so please no worries! All commissions I've already taken will be continued as normal. I'm going to set up a Trello board to keep track I think. It'll help me keep track and give everyone else a good idea as to what I've got on my plate!

I'm trying to have some more original stuff coming along the way too. I've been far busier than usual; work, keeping up with the home, and more commissions than I've ever had before so please be patient! I get burn out easily too so I've been trying to force in some leisure time to keep myself balanced. I'm a bad scheduler. I never leave myself anytime to eat usually hahah ;;

So I just wanted to keep you guys updated and keep better communication in the future!



I do want to talk on a bit of a personal level too! I feel like I never get to talk about my life on the day to day.

I haven't even touched a video game in months until recently. Too little free time and doing anything fun makes me feel guilty for not working instead. My best friend had the idea of going to the flea market to look for old gamecube games back on the weekend! We went in looking for SSBM mainly but no one had it unfortunately. We did find SONIC DX THO! I've only put a couple hours into it but we spent some time playing it and I got to relive the horrors of getting shoved off paths and getting stuck in the floor every three steps. It was an absolutely magical experience. It did make me remember how much I. Love Sonic though hhHHhf. I'm a little sad they had NONE of the other games.

I kind of.... Maaaaaybe bought one online instead and it... Maaaaaaaybe might be here by the end of the week? Heheh <:D Man I can't wait to get lost on the ARK for 45 minutes while Maria does LITERALLY NOTHING to help me.


I'm not bitter.

I am BACK! From GEORGIA! HELLO!

I know I don't talk about life too much here, but y'know, I actually feel so much more open on this account than my SFW one. At least when talking about personal life and issues. I don't want to get TOO dang deep, but I'm excited and wanted to share! If you don't want to get into any of that stuff, just know I'm home, I got Con-Flu, and I'm ready to get back to work!

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My friends and I like to go cosplay so we met up with some friends and took ourselves to the biggest damn con within 500 miles, same one we went to last year actually. It's the first time I've ever made it all days to a four day con! I'm legitimately AMAZED as little went wrong as it did. I was expecting car trouble, hotel trouble, financial trouble, heat stroke, irreversibly broken cosplay parts, serious emotional distress, anything, but nothing! Things went off without a hitch so hard I'm not sure how much of it was real hahah~

I've also never had like, an actual LINE UP either because I'd never have more than one cosplay in working order at a time usually. I'd always only ever take one character to a con no matter how long it was. I'd always break something, or end up hating the way I looked in something so much I'd shelf the character until I could improve them. I've always thought I was out of the realm of body image issues, but I've realized how internalized they actually are for me. I've never liked my face shape. My eyes don't open very wide unless I force them. I can't emote very well on command. Before the last small con we went to, I remember doing a quick test to make sure I still had everything in order for us to do Pokemon again. We had a lil sun and moon group last year; a whole bunch of team skull, some trial captains, a Lillie, the works. We ended up gathering people as we went. We DOMINATED last years con and led the biggest damn army of any one pokemon team I'd ever seen in my life, in person OR picture. We couldn't make it in the first door without getting stopped for pictures. We spent whole ten minute segments standing and posing in place because there were too many people taking pictures for us to walk. We stood out, we had endless energy, we were some of the hottest damn cosplayers at that con and we were fucking fanTASTic.

But once I had everything together again and saw myself in the mirror, I couldn't really get over how I didn't look anywhere near as good as I remembered. I never got told I looked bad, fuck, almost everyone I talked to my first run of it said I was incredible. Best Gladion they'd ever seen. The, ONLY, one most of them had ever seen. Looking at myself again I just couldn't see what they had seen, and what I'd seen before. I hated everything about what I saw staring back at me in the mirror. Nothing had changed. I didn't break or remake anything, I didn't lose or gain any weight since, I just, plain and simple, didn't look as good as I remembered. It kept hitting me when I looked back at pictures. There were so many angles I didn't look 'right' at. My eyes looked damn near closed in every shot. I didn't look anywhere near HALF as good as my Lillie in any shot I had of us. I didn't want to let it mess with me, but it did. I very heavily subscribe to the idea that anyone can cosplay anything regardless of race, gender, body type or height. Even so, it was hurting me so much that I couldn't seem to pull off one of my favorite characters.
But I decided to do something instead of moping.
I picked my ass up and tried again. I tried again with ALL of the characters I had in my roster. I sat down and spent all the time I wasn't at work or working commissions fixing everything I hated about all of my cosplays. And I'm glad I did.

I don't know how many of you would've guessed, but my namesake comes from Mother 3, and the Masked Man was one of my first cosplays. He was the one that fell apart all the time so for him it was structure I was worried about. I didn't really have time to do a test with him before we left so I wasn't sure how well he'd piece together with a new helmet and cannon. I didn't even think we'd get much attention as Mother 3 since it's such a lesser known game, but walking in the damn DOOR someone pointed me out, and our Duster was even recognized walking around on his own!! My Lucas couldn't even sit down because so many people wanted pictures. We even got to go make Chuggaaconroy happy as hell with it too and it was super nice~! I was supposed to do GLaDOS for a day, and I did! For two hours. She only needed minor fixes. I knew she wasn't my best but I knew it hid my face, so why not? The head and heels got a bit too much for me.

That was very early on during Friday. We were saving them for Saturday buutttt, we all decided to break out Pokemon a bit early, and holy shit. Holy shit. I'd tested the fixes I made on Gladion about a month ago at a con. I'd stayed up till 6AM the morning of night remaking my entire damn hoodie so I never really had a "test" with everything done persay. I only wore half of him on the way to that little con(mainly cause I can't see through the bangs hHHHHhh) so that kind of WAS my test run. Last Friday came around, and I finally actually saw myself in the mirror in this cosplay for the first time. It was like the first time in my life, in cosplay or not, that I looked at my reflection and was truly happy with what was looking back at me. And everyone I ran into was so dAMN NICE TO ME?? God like people that didn't even know the character were suPER SWEET and I jUST- I couldn't even walk in the bathroom without people telling me I was beautiful and oh god I felt like a q u e e n.

Take this all as you will, but I cosplay as a means of not having to be just 'me' anymore, and it was a HUGE deal to me not only to be able to go, but to feel comfortable in my own skin. I'd EASILY call it one of the best weekends of my life, aside from... getting sick on the last day and having to lay down on the con floor for an hour to avoid throwing up hahah :'D I'll share pictures if anyone's interested too! I probably wouldn't post them on FA of my own accord unless there's demand, but I promise you I was damn cute AF

Thanks for reading till the end if any of you did. I'll be talking to y'all soon~ <3

Just a quick blanket heads up!

From May 23-28, I'm going to be out of state, so both in-progress commissions and commission slots will be on pause starting on the 23rd! I'm working as usual up until then, and I'll be getting back to work ASAP once I'm home!

I've been playing a lot of Ultra Moon and I've soft reset, I'd say, at LEAST 300 times for a shiny Type: Null. I already have the event one but I, want to ACTUALLY name and raise it

My friends and I are doing Team Skull for a con in May, and at least two of us are building the teams of the characters we're cosplaying to fight random people in the halls. I already got my old Silvally from original Moon with his wicked IVs, but I just want a SHINY HEADING MY TEAM G O R S H D A N G I T

Gosh I'm sorry I've been so dingus absent it's been a busy few months since the holidays. :'D

I've been focusing most of my time on my SFW account as far as art's concerned. I do have some stuff in the works and I'd liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike to work up the courage to post more, different things?

Okay so like I talked about posting gore in an earlier journal. It's one of a, couple subjects I draw that I draw like ALL THE TIME and can't work up the guts to really share openly with people. A lot of it I just kind of doodle and never add any real polish to most of em, and that's not even getting into self consciousness and embarrassment. I don't even know WHY I have so much trouble. There is so much stranger art lying around. And you know I know I don't HAVE to post anything, but I want to stop feeling embarrassed about it.

I'm getting to the point I can share my gore with people with little to no trouble. Even strangers!
I uhhh, I haven't even considered posting all the uhhh, stuffing yet, HHHHhhahhhhah. I don't get it I can barely bring myself to show my best friend even though I know they're ALSO into it I'm so
ANGRY that I can't get over it. I want to stop being ashamed of things I'm into. I want to be able to share without feeling awful, and I'm kinda using this account to help me little by little.

I feel better just being able to share THAT really. I'll be back with you all soon with new art so thank you all for baring with me! <3

Heya!

So my boy  ursacinnamon is in a bit of a tight spot with his housing situation. Shitty-ass landlord gave him barely a week's notice to get out and he could really use all the help he could get

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/8485726/

He's got a super cute, super expressive style and he has a great sense of depth with body structure. He is also like FRIGHTENINGLY quick-! If you could give him a peek or at least spread the word that'd be fantastic!!

How do y'all feel about gore?

So long as it has the proper warnings on it would you mind seeing it pop up here and there?







I'm
I'm asking for a friend

Good GOD I'm sorry I've been like TOTALLY absent!!

I just want to explain at least. I got a new job and college started back up so I've been tryna balance them to, not too excellent results ahh

I have a few things I'm working on but my sfw stuff takes priority and I've barely even had time to work on THAT. I hate how bad I am at time management but I'm getting readjusted to my new schedule little by little so hopefully I'll be able to organize my time a lil better. Thank you for your patience!!

Did I ever mention I'm open for commissions hahah? Guess I kinda forgot uploading things labeled "commission" doesn't tell people I'm like straight up open lol

So I wanted to make an official thing for em here!

I'm currently only doing ones for my sketch style, so along the lines of the last four things I uploaded. I don't have a good grasp on the amount of time I take on the painterly one, nor do I think I have enough examples to warrant having prices up for those ones but maybe in the future!

For now, I'll be doing colored sketches, $25 USD flat rate! Background will be simple or single color, and for a second character it'll be an added $5~ I like to think I'm relatively fast so I can turn one out in a week or less! And I don't really have a limited number of slots either so don't worry about getting in super fast!

The only things I WON'T really do are scat/preg/anything along those lines. Nothing against those interested just not comfortable doing it myself! Anything else feel free to ask~!

Man I've been here over a year and I haven't even written a journal. I'm so bad at this holy hell

It's been kind of bugging me that I've had this account and uploaded art and talked to people and NEVER introduced myself or anything. I could blame real life distractions, or I could blame the fact this isn't my main account and I forget it's even here some days! I'm really sporadic and I don't mean to be but it just kind of happens ah hahhh :'D

Soooooo hi!
I'm Claus! You can call me DC or Chimera if you want, too, that's fine!

I'm a bit of a weird case, in that I'm a porn account that doesn't really have any strong feelings towards drawing porn. I don't dislike it at all! I just don't do it of my own volition normally, you know? I do it when my friends ask for or come up with a good idea for a picture or somthin'! Well, sometimes I do some of my own volition. It depends I guess haahah.

Now the fact that this is a side account isn't really like, a shame thing or anything. I DO like to keep my regular art apart from my sin, but I'm not ashamed of drawing it at all, plus it's kind of fun to have a second persona, I'm sure you can imagine~ Eventually I'll probably bridge the connection, but for now, I'm comfortable with this setup!

I know I don't upload a lot, but I don't have a whole lot of time these days between school, life, commissions, etc, but I'd like to try and be on more regularly. I have some characters I'd like to introduce sometime, I got some paintings I'm still working on for here! But paid work and college comes first, you know how it goes.

But I'd love to actually talk more! Also, I'm not exactly open to 'requests' per say, but if you have an interesting idea and I happen to have time one day I'm all ears! An extra drawing or two to do would help keep me away from breath of the wild hahah ;;