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Farewell to the Dragon
Posted a month agoGuess I'm a little late with the journals. About 5 years too late... <_<;
So this is it, I'm leaving FA.
Been a nice ride, for better or worse. Started 2011 and I still feel like I haven't done much...
You guys probably want a better explanation though:
So basically the reason I'm leaving is because I'm not a fan of how the site is being handled. I'm on a certain side that isn't exactly welcomed here. I mean, being a Christian here is hard enough...
Recently this month a certain good person has died. If you guys know ya know. If not, then you'll need to look it up. I can't even say the name because the FA staff believe said person promoted "hate" which is a complete lie...
I just find it funny they'll quickly remove any references to that person, rather than an actual murderer or hateful jabs towards another certain person...
The double standard here stinks and I want no part in it. No art site should be this one-sided...
It's a huge shame because I really liked it here. I felt like I belonged(sorta). I could express the things I was into, like vore, without fear. It was nice to find others with the same likes.
And I feel horrible because I did have a lot of fans here and I feel like I'm betraying them...
Not that I was really popular anyway... :/
I just can't anymore with this site...
I hope those of you who stuck with me through thick n thin can forgive me...
I'll still be around on DA and X, that'll never change. So if you guys still want to see my art, be sure to head there.
Sadly I don't think there are any other popular furry sites that'll accept me or my ideals...
I'll still pop in now and then because I know a lot of my friends will be here and I love their art. I just won't be posting here anymore.
I may come back though if the staff ever get their stuff together.
But for now, this is TheGamerDracul signing off...
I love you all and hope for the best. I really mean it, a lot of you changed my life. And I hope one day we can all come together and stop this pointless hate...
God bless every single one of you for putting up with me since 2011. <3
Farewell~
DA: https://www.deviantart.com/thegamerdracul
X: https://x.com/TheGamerDracul
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thegamerdracul
Discord Group: https://discord.gg/HrjnFZAhCR
So this is it, I'm leaving FA.
Been a nice ride, for better or worse. Started 2011 and I still feel like I haven't done much...
You guys probably want a better explanation though:
So basically the reason I'm leaving is because I'm not a fan of how the site is being handled. I'm on a certain side that isn't exactly welcomed here. I mean, being a Christian here is hard enough...
Recently this month a certain good person has died. If you guys know ya know. If not, then you'll need to look it up. I can't even say the name because the FA staff believe said person promoted "hate" which is a complete lie...
I just find it funny they'll quickly remove any references to that person, rather than an actual murderer or hateful jabs towards another certain person...
The double standard here stinks and I want no part in it. No art site should be this one-sided...
It's a huge shame because I really liked it here. I felt like I belonged(sorta). I could express the things I was into, like vore, without fear. It was nice to find others with the same likes.
And I feel horrible because I did have a lot of fans here and I feel like I'm betraying them...
Not that I was really popular anyway... :/
I just can't anymore with this site...
I hope those of you who stuck with me through thick n thin can forgive me...
I'll still be around on DA and X, that'll never change. So if you guys still want to see my art, be sure to head there.
Sadly I don't think there are any other popular furry sites that'll accept me or my ideals...
I'll still pop in now and then because I know a lot of my friends will be here and I love their art. I just won't be posting here anymore.
I may come back though if the staff ever get their stuff together.
But for now, this is TheGamerDracul signing off...
I love you all and hope for the best. I really mean it, a lot of you changed my life. And I hope one day we can all come together and stop this pointless hate...
God bless every single one of you for putting up with me since 2011. <3
Farewell~
DA: https://www.deviantart.com/thegamerdracul
X: https://x.com/TheGamerDracul
Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thegamerdracul
Discord Group: https://discord.gg/HrjnFZAhCR
The First 2020 Update
Posted 5 years agoIt's been such a long time since I made one of these. I am very depressed right now, so I'll try to keep things short...
Obviously we all know about the things going down in the world. Most popular one, COVID...
I don't want to get too much into that or BLM, or...literally anything like that right now because I know it'll just cause more trouble than needed...
Just know I care about every one. And it breaks my heart, we as a species would cause such much harm to others. No one deserves to die...
I have tried to draw more and post more. As you all probably have seen so far. It's not much, but I've been trying.
As always, I'm struggling with bills and I've been more focused on them and jobs. Trying to keep my head just above the water.
It might not seem like much to others, all that, the state everything is in, and worrying about my future, has made me very stressed to the point where I have just dropped down and cried a few times. It's that bad...
You're all probably saying "Oh, it's not THAT bad." or "He just needs to suck it up."
Well, you're not me. I am by no means "special. But I have my own problems. Having depression is not fun. And more than likely, those who say that don't know how people with depression feels. And you should be happy for that...
Recently I have lost friends and gotten kicked from groups just for being....well me. Whether it's opinions I have, or showing the weaknesses I have from depression.
At the start I tell myself "It's not my fault." But later I always think more about it, and think "Maybe it WAS my fault...right...?"
Because these issues have happened before. And it feels like no matter how many years it takes, even after all this time, I haven't changed at all.
I've been second guessing myself and wondering "Am I really a horrible person?" "Why am I here? I'm just humiliating myself and hurting others. How is that fulfilling my purpose in life...?" "Am I just here as God's comic relief...?"
I haven't slept well because of how depressed I am. Contemplating these thoughts. Even contemplating my own death...
I'm sorry this got so deep, or maybe it's just more drama.
I felt I was letting my heart out, but I'm sure to others I'm just being a crybaby. Lord knows I'm always wrong...
I will continue to draw. Try to anyway. As long as I still draw breath.
To be honest, I've already lost hope in the future...
I hope you guys don't lose faith. Try your best. Light the way to the future.
Don't fall like I have...
Obviously we all know about the things going down in the world. Most popular one, COVID...
I don't want to get too much into that or BLM, or...literally anything like that right now because I know it'll just cause more trouble than needed...
Just know I care about every one. And it breaks my heart, we as a species would cause such much harm to others. No one deserves to die...
I have tried to draw more and post more. As you all probably have seen so far. It's not much, but I've been trying.
As always, I'm struggling with bills and I've been more focused on them and jobs. Trying to keep my head just above the water.
It might not seem like much to others, all that, the state everything is in, and worrying about my future, has made me very stressed to the point where I have just dropped down and cried a few times. It's that bad...
You're all probably saying "Oh, it's not THAT bad." or "He just needs to suck it up."
Well, you're not me. I am by no means "special. But I have my own problems. Having depression is not fun. And more than likely, those who say that don't know how people with depression feels. And you should be happy for that...
Recently I have lost friends and gotten kicked from groups just for being....well me. Whether it's opinions I have, or showing the weaknesses I have from depression.
At the start I tell myself "It's not my fault." But later I always think more about it, and think "Maybe it WAS my fault...right...?"
Because these issues have happened before. And it feels like no matter how many years it takes, even after all this time, I haven't changed at all.
I've been second guessing myself and wondering "Am I really a horrible person?" "Why am I here? I'm just humiliating myself and hurting others. How is that fulfilling my purpose in life...?" "Am I just here as God's comic relief...?"
I haven't slept well because of how depressed I am. Contemplating these thoughts. Even contemplating my own death...
I'm sorry this got so deep, or maybe it's just more drama.
I felt I was letting my heart out, but I'm sure to others I'm just being a crybaby. Lord knows I'm always wrong...
I will continue to draw. Try to anyway. As long as I still draw breath.
To be honest, I've already lost hope in the future...
I hope you guys don't lose faith. Try your best. Light the way to the future.
Don't fall like I have...
Inktober Struggle
Posted 7 years agoI just wanted to make an update on the status of the lil vampy dragon~
Okay, so Inktober came out of nowhere for me and I didn't know how it worked at first. This short notice kinda made me tardy for this event.
I plan to go along with Inktober and submit an ink drawing each day until the end of October.
HOWEVER!
Keep in mind I still have a job and a small family that takes priority. So I will do the BEST I can.
Hopefully everyone will forgive me for any delays.
Any days I miss I shall make up for. I promise that much.
I want to get into this because I never made a solid commitment. Plus I want to improve my art-style as much as I can. Obviously this is a perfect time for that!
I'm going to try and go all out.
Though, please don't expect something HUGE, especially in one day. (I'm only human IRL...)
Aside from my job I had other things to worry about. Mainly bills, and I was pretty sick during the beginning of October (What a time to be sick...)
I'm pretty frustrated with all this pressure, you have no idea...
Please give me a break, kay?
LAST...
If I complete Inktober...
I might consider opening up Commissions again.
I'm hoping after all this I'll have a little of my confidence back.
Here's hoping.
Be safe everyone, and have a Happy Halloween!
Rest in Pieces~ TGD
OH!
I may be grinding my brain for Inktober drawing ideas.
Feel free to drop some ideas and suggestions.
They may or may not be used, it all depends on that day.
Thanks~
Okay, so Inktober came out of nowhere for me and I didn't know how it worked at first. This short notice kinda made me tardy for this event.
I plan to go along with Inktober and submit an ink drawing each day until the end of October.
HOWEVER!
Keep in mind I still have a job and a small family that takes priority. So I will do the BEST I can.
Hopefully everyone will forgive me for any delays.
Any days I miss I shall make up for. I promise that much.
I want to get into this because I never made a solid commitment. Plus I want to improve my art-style as much as I can. Obviously this is a perfect time for that!
I'm going to try and go all out.
Though, please don't expect something HUGE, especially in one day. (I'm only human IRL...)
Aside from my job I had other things to worry about. Mainly bills, and I was pretty sick during the beginning of October (What a time to be sick...)
I'm pretty frustrated with all this pressure, you have no idea...
Please give me a break, kay?
LAST...
If I complete Inktober...
I might consider opening up Commissions again.
I'm hoping after all this I'll have a little of my confidence back.
Here's hoping.
Be safe everyone, and have a Happy Halloween!
Rest in Pieces~ TGD
OH!
I may be grinding my brain for Inktober drawing ideas.
Feel free to drop some ideas and suggestions.
They may or may not be used, it all depends on that day.
Thanks~
Sketch Dump
Posted 7 years agoSo I haven't really been able to make any full drawings these past few weeks.
I don't know why. Be it art block or whatever. I lost effort to draw. Or...anything really.
I'm looking through my options and hopefully I can get over whatever it is I'm going through.
For now though, I've been thinking about a lot of sketches I made. Sketches that sadly might not become full drawings.
Would anyone like it if I post them?
I don't like posting unfinished drawings. But some of them are pretty decent.
If I do, they will all go directly into Scraps. Only fans and friends can see them.
Lemme know soon and I'd be happy to post a bunch soon~
I don't know why. Be it art block or whatever. I lost effort to draw. Or...anything really.
I'm looking through my options and hopefully I can get over whatever it is I'm going through.
For now though, I've been thinking about a lot of sketches I made. Sketches that sadly might not become full drawings.
Would anyone like it if I post them?
I don't like posting unfinished drawings. But some of them are pretty decent.
If I do, they will all go directly into Scraps. Only fans and friends can see them.
Lemme know soon and I'd be happy to post a bunch soon~
What We Are, What We Like
Posted 7 years agoWhat do you like? Are you shy about telling others? Are you worried about being degraded for it?
Honestly that's something we all have in common.
I recently got a note from someone I used to call "friend", simply insulting me for what I am and what I like. Simple cyberbullying to drive me down into the dirt I suppose...
But really, in the end...don't we all have something we like, but we're just too worried about what other people think?
We need to act our age and just accept we're not all equal minded. That we all have freedom over the things we like.
We shouldn't be degraded for it. We shouldn't have to hide it.
Frankly, me, and others who aren't afraid to show their real selves, are better than those who come up from behind and attack without mercy.
When in the end, they are mere cowards who also have something to hide.
~TGD
Honestly that's something we all have in common.
I recently got a note from someone I used to call "friend", simply insulting me for what I am and what I like. Simple cyberbullying to drive me down into the dirt I suppose...
But really, in the end...don't we all have something we like, but we're just too worried about what other people think?
We need to act our age and just accept we're not all equal minded. That we all have freedom over the things we like.
We shouldn't be degraded for it. We shouldn't have to hide it.
Frankly, me, and others who aren't afraid to show their real selves, are better than those who come up from behind and attack without mercy.
When in the end, they are mere cowards who also have something to hide.
~TGD
We Be 24!
Posted 7 years agoYesterday was mah BDay! I'm 24! Whoopdeedoo. =-=;
It was okay, I'm glad I at least had my family here to celebrate it with.
Dracul actually doesn't have a BDay so he borrows mine.Though I dunno how old he'd be, so we're gonna pretend he's the same age.
I wanna make a drawing soon, but it may take time.
Thank you all for wishing me a Happy BDay~
It was okay, I'm glad I at least had my family here to celebrate it with.
Dracul actually doesn't have a BDay so he borrows mine.Though I dunno how old he'd be, so we're gonna pretend he's the same age.
I wanna make a drawing soon, but it may take time.
Thank you all for wishing me a Happy BDay~
No Guts, No Gorey
Posted 7 years agoI've been thinking about ideas for certain types of vore.
Getting torn to bits or chewed up, but showing no blood or gore, just bones in the end. A cartoonish-like end.
It's pretty damn violent, but it's something I've found interest in.
What do you guys think?
Opinions DO matter. But in the end, I at least want to post 1 drawing. e-e
Getting torn to bits or chewed up, but showing no blood or gore, just bones in the end. A cartoonish-like end.
It's pretty damn violent, but it's something I've found interest in.
What do you guys think?
Opinions DO matter. But in the end, I at least want to post 1 drawing. e-e
The Future
Posted 7 years agoIt's 2018, and wow, time has really flown over my head...
In the beginning of the year I vowed to try harder with my art. Or at least the best I could, working two jobs n all.
After I handled all the refunds and tied up loose ends, I felt a bit at ease, like most of the pressure was off my shoulders.
I'm not saying I hated taking commissions. But ever since I did, it took years to do them, and I haven't even finished them...
The pressure and guilt had me tied down and was my eternal art block.
I learned a lot though...
I tried taking on something too big for me right now. Too many responsibilities to handle, right now anyways...
For now, I'm going to start out small, and work my way up, so I can handle more of these next time.
I want to promise things will change. But sadly I haven't made a promise I could keep...
I hope you can all forgive me.
This year, I will try, as hard as I can.
In the beginning of the year I vowed to try harder with my art. Or at least the best I could, working two jobs n all.
After I handled all the refunds and tied up loose ends, I felt a bit at ease, like most of the pressure was off my shoulders.
I'm not saying I hated taking commissions. But ever since I did, it took years to do them, and I haven't even finished them...
The pressure and guilt had me tied down and was my eternal art block.
I learned a lot though...
I tried taking on something too big for me right now. Too many responsibilities to handle, right now anyways...
For now, I'm going to start out small, and work my way up, so I can handle more of these next time.
I want to promise things will change. But sadly I haven't made a promise I could keep...
I hope you can all forgive me.
This year, I will try, as hard as I can.
Failure as an Artist... (PLEASE READ)
Posted 8 years agoI would normally write what happened, but this time I prepared a video to reach out to you guys better.
Please watch, and thank you if you watched it all the way through...
Video Link >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8.....ature=youtu.be
Please watch, and thank you if you watched it all the way through...
Video Link >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ8.....ature=youtu.be
Second Thoughts...
Posted 8 years agoI've decided to not go to Anthrocon this time.
I'm just...not ready. Plus I have no supporters in my corner at all. I mean who would really want to see me go, right?
I know this is probably a dick move and I know I'm probably being selfish but this is MY choice. It's not like anyone cares...
I'm more upset than anyone about this...
Maybe I'll go to a con in the future when I'm actually "out there" and "popular".
I'll go when I've deserved it...
As for the auction I'll just do the damn thing for free since I failed the whole thing. I really don't care right now...
I'm just...not ready. Plus I have no supporters in my corner at all. I mean who would really want to see me go, right?
I know this is probably a dick move and I know I'm probably being selfish but this is MY choice. It's not like anyone cares...
I'm more upset than anyone about this...
Maybe I'll go to a con in the future when I'm actually "out there" and "popular".
I'll go when I've deserved it...
As for the auction I'll just do the damn thing for free since I failed the whole thing. I really don't care right now...
Going To Anthrocon! Maybe! I'll Try...! o-o
Posted 8 years agoI was a little late to the party when I heard about Anthrcon but I was determined to go regardless of the few short days I have to prepare.
Seeing as how Pittsburgh PA isn't that far from NY I thought I might have a shot for this!
So yeah I'm goin. You will all get to see TheGamerDracul IN PERSON. Not a big deal, but yeah...
Sadly though it will only be for 2 or 3 days as my funds are scarce and I have a job I have to keep attending to. Bills don't help much either. I'm really lucky I'm even able to go at all.
For now when I go to the con I will be an "examiner", because again this is the first time I've ever been to a con and I'm not sure what you can do there nor what I should bring. (Though little helpful tips from you guys WOULD be appreciated~ =v=; )
I'll most likely bring my gaming stuff, like my Nintendo Switch. Hopefully I'll get to play with you guys! Bring Mario Kart 8 with ya! :3
I hope to have fun there as well as getting to meet new people and you guys, all my awesome fans and friends! Finally getting out of my home/shell and experiencing something new in my life.
This is one small step for me, one giant step for Dracul. So make sure you all clear the way~ -v-
Seeing as how Pittsburgh PA isn't that far from NY I thought I might have a shot for this!
So yeah I'm goin. You will all get to see TheGamerDracul IN PERSON. Not a big deal, but yeah...
Sadly though it will only be for 2 or 3 days as my funds are scarce and I have a job I have to keep attending to. Bills don't help much either. I'm really lucky I'm even able to go at all.
For now when I go to the con I will be an "examiner", because again this is the first time I've ever been to a con and I'm not sure what you can do there nor what I should bring. (Though little helpful tips from you guys WOULD be appreciated~ =v=; )
I'll most likely bring my gaming stuff, like my Nintendo Switch. Hopefully I'll get to play with you guys! Bring Mario Kart 8 with ya! :3
I hope to have fun there as well as getting to meet new people and you guys, all my awesome fans and friends! Finally getting out of my home/shell and experiencing something new in my life.
This is one small step for me, one giant step for Dracul. So make sure you all clear the way~ -v-
Completely Broken Inside...
Posted 8 years agoI feel as if I make too many of these, more than my art.
I'm sorry if these aren't about anything exciting like "Oh I'm going to a Con!", which trust me, I'd love nothing more right now...
I've been nothing but depressed these past few weeks. And you guys should know by now, I have horribly severe depression. If you're not sure what that is then please look it up, it's...sadly a huge deal...
Sadly it's the way I am. Even after counseling and meds, I'm still just drifting along this stream of sorrow...
But what triggered this? This can't really happen out of nowhere right? What happened?
Simply put...
I don't feel accepted. Who I am, what I do. Even the things I make. I don't feel accepted, I feel like I'm alone in this world...
That is a horrible thing to feel. But sadly, those who are "normal" will never know how we "depressed folk" feel.
Sometimes I'm not even sure they care...
Not even my "friends", who I thought would have my back to the very end. No, I slip up a few times and I'm chastised and left behind to rot. All because of my uncontrollable emotions...
No one gets it. Depression is a HUGE PROBLEM. Not for you guys out there, not for the "normal", but for US. Can you not see that??
I'm no a saint but I'll be damned if I hadn't tried my best to be better than I am.
Try to be happy, try to be fun, try to be NORMAL.
But I can never be better than who I am now.
And it's the fact that alone lost me a majority of my friends.
Yes I've lashed out, yes I've done a lot of horrible things. But I've always amended for them in one way or another.
And it's not like I meant to do things like that either.
They just...don't get it. They don't want to. No one does...
That's not what true friends are to me...
They aren't people whom you cry over almost every night wondering what you did wrong, why did they never accept you or why they never showed they care.
Friends are the ones who accept you for who you are as well as your faults.
And if they do split from you, then at least they come back later on and try again.
THAT is what makes true friends.
They are hard to find. But I know they are out there...
I feel alone right now guys.
I'm sorry if this is such a downer, I really am.
But I hate keeping my feelings bottled up. I hardly have a family left, now I hardly have friends left.
What else can I do but sit there letting these thoughts drive me insane?
I just thought I'd try and reach out, hoping someone out there understands.
Hopefully you guys do understand.
For you depressed ones out there, know you aren't alone.
And for you normals, please just try and understand how we work.
We're not aliens so stop treating us like we are.
We WANT to be normal too...
This actually goes back to my drawing "Like You The Way You Are" because I'm basically in Dracul's place right now.
The odd one out, too freaky to look at, not sociably accepted...
That's another reason I'll never change Dracul...
Thank you guys sincerely if you read through this.
If you could comment and talk to me, that would make me feel good right now...
Adam and Dracul out...
I'm sorry if these aren't about anything exciting like "Oh I'm going to a Con!", which trust me, I'd love nothing more right now...
I've been nothing but depressed these past few weeks. And you guys should know by now, I have horribly severe depression. If you're not sure what that is then please look it up, it's...sadly a huge deal...
Sadly it's the way I am. Even after counseling and meds, I'm still just drifting along this stream of sorrow...
But what triggered this? This can't really happen out of nowhere right? What happened?
Simply put...
I don't feel accepted. Who I am, what I do. Even the things I make. I don't feel accepted, I feel like I'm alone in this world...
That is a horrible thing to feel. But sadly, those who are "normal" will never know how we "depressed folk" feel.
Sometimes I'm not even sure they care...
Not even my "friends", who I thought would have my back to the very end. No, I slip up a few times and I'm chastised and left behind to rot. All because of my uncontrollable emotions...
No one gets it. Depression is a HUGE PROBLEM. Not for you guys out there, not for the "normal", but for US. Can you not see that??
I'm no a saint but I'll be damned if I hadn't tried my best to be better than I am.
Try to be happy, try to be fun, try to be NORMAL.
But I can never be better than who I am now.
And it's the fact that alone lost me a majority of my friends.
Yes I've lashed out, yes I've done a lot of horrible things. But I've always amended for them in one way or another.
And it's not like I meant to do things like that either.
They just...don't get it. They don't want to. No one does...
That's not what true friends are to me...
They aren't people whom you cry over almost every night wondering what you did wrong, why did they never accept you or why they never showed they care.
Friends are the ones who accept you for who you are as well as your faults.
And if they do split from you, then at least they come back later on and try again.
THAT is what makes true friends.
They are hard to find. But I know they are out there...
I feel alone right now guys.
I'm sorry if this is such a downer, I really am.
But I hate keeping my feelings bottled up. I hardly have a family left, now I hardly have friends left.
What else can I do but sit there letting these thoughts drive me insane?
I just thought I'd try and reach out, hoping someone out there understands.
Hopefully you guys do understand.
For you depressed ones out there, know you aren't alone.
And for you normals, please just try and understand how we work.
We're not aliens so stop treating us like we are.
We WANT to be normal too...
This actually goes back to my drawing "Like You The Way You Are" because I'm basically in Dracul's place right now.
The odd one out, too freaky to look at, not sociably accepted...
That's another reason I'll never change Dracul...
Thank you guys sincerely if you read through this.
If you could comment and talk to me, that would make me feel good right now...
Adam and Dracul out...
Abusiveness - Insparation Vs. Copying
Posted 8 years agoI promised I wouldn't make another "Rant Journal"(Actually I don't consider this a rant) but this needs to be heard because I am so sick of dealing with this guy.
Once again http://thebloodstainedrose.deviantart.com/ is getting under my skin. First outright stealing MY OC "Adam Cruz" then lashing out at me like this >>>
A short rant on the situation with TheGamerDracul
As I'm sure you're all aware, my friend Darian (InabiUchiha98) and I just dealt with a user by the name of TheGamerDracul, who is probably best known for his OC Adam Cruz. Originally this character was supposed to be part of Castlevania as the father of everyone's favorite reincarnated vampire, Soma Cruz.
I first met TheGamerDracul here on DA quite some time ago when he was still known as WolfDude11 and I criticized him mainly on Adam's design. Seriously, the guy just took Soma's design from Dawn of Sorrow and gave it longer hair. Talk about lazy -.- That's almost as bad as the all the Sonic the Hedgehog recolors on this site. He also has some kind of dragon OC persona named Dracul, I'm guessing to tie into his username. Guess what? Dracul is the alias used by Gabriel Belmont, an OFFICIAL Castlevania character. Just goes to show you that the guy has 0 creativity. He also has a vore fetish, which I could never understand how someone
So I took the gentleman's approach and read his lovely letter to me. And so, I will point a few things out, not just to get it into his thick skull(Not that it matters) but to also hopefully give you all some more information because I hardly talk about my ideas of stories or characters.
Anyway, starting from the beginning...
Evolution of my Characters
'Adam Cruz' was a character I made back when 'Flipnote Hatena' was still a thing. I got jealous seeing all my friends with their own OC's or Sonas, so I made my own. At the time I was heavily into 'Castlevania', so I based him off my fave character of the franchise: 'Soma Cruz', even giving him the backstory as him being "Soma's father", way before 'Aria of Sorrow' took place. Call it copying but this was at the time I had trouble with coming up with original ideas, back when I was young, so give me a break will ya. Eventually I made a Dragon form for him which in time became 'Dracul' you all know today.
Over time Adam has has gone through many changes and eventually I completely took away the "Soma idea" as well as most of his features and made him his own character. Just a simple 15 year old who befriends the King of Vampires: Dracul.
Like Adam Cruz, Dracul has also gone through MANY changes. However he was never based off of anything that had to do with Castlevania. Surprising right? Ask my old friends if you don't believe me. Even the name wasn't taken from Castlevania, which this guy seems to think so even though the name Dracula, Alucard AND Dracul can never be copy written. Dracul, although similar to Dracula, basically means "Dragon", so again how am I copying? Oh wait because Gabriel Belmont is called that in Lords of Shadow 2? Well then I guess he should also bitch at Konami for stealing that name because the name "Dracul" was created WAY before even the first Castlevania came out. Again ask my friends because I'm pretty sure I came up with the name 'Dracul' way before Lord's of Shadow 2 even came to existence.
Inspiration VS. Copying
My characters now, as well as the story I am creating are inspirations of the game I grew up with and love with a fiery passion.
Same as how Yooka-Laylee, Bloodstained and Mighty No. 9 are inspirations of Banjo-Kazooe, Castlevania and Megaman.
I wanted to make something similar, but fresh. I wanted to revive the joy and awesomeness those games gave me, because Konami obviously has no plans for a new Castlevania any time soon.
While I'm talking about Inspiration Vs. Copying, did you know Konami basically drew inspirations from Vampire Hunter D? Don't believe me? Check out Vampire D and I'm sure you'll see the similarities. Also keep in mind, Vampire Hunter D came out way before the first Castlevania game.
What I'm getting at is, there is a fine line between being inspired and just outright copying someone's work. I have seen plenty of anime/manga with stories or characters that are similar to others. A good example would be Pokemon and Digimon(Sorry Scav. =v=; )
Same with other TV shows, movies AND games.
As an Artist I think I speak for everyone when I say we gather inspiration from other artists, which is not a bad thing. And I can tell you right now I can name quite a few artists. Even myself, again, not a bad thing.
I'm sure you'll find similarities between art. You just need to look hard enough.
Anyone can copy anything these days. But there is a huge difference between inspiration and copying. BIG difference. It's not like I'm literally copying Castlevania's plot as well as characters(Like this... >>>
Castlevania: Dusk of Sorrow - Chapter 1
It was a beautiful autumn night in Chiyoda, located in Tokyo, Japan.
Soma Cruz had just gotten done going out to dinner with his girlfriend Mina Hakuba at one of the many local restaurants after a fun filled day of traveling around the city with her. They were now sitting down, relaxing by the moat in Chidorigafuchi Park, an area around one of a total of twelve moats that surrounded the Tokyo Imperial Palace and that was known for its splendid cherry blossoms every spring. Late in the cherry blossom season, the surface of the moat would become almost completely covered in pink petals. Strictly speaking, there was no actual park in the area. There was a cemetery, a path, a boat rental house, and this moat.
"Anything else you want to do?" he asked her.
Soma was young, only 19-years-old, with short, pearly-white hair and rather pale skin. His fairly large, almond-shaped eyes were smokey-hued under thick brows and framed by long eyelashes. He was normall
)
Few of my characters maaaay look similar, but the story is way different.
Other Stuff...
Now for the last few things. First, "My 0 Creative Skills"...
I shouldn't, but I am infuriated by this. Just look at my gallery. It's small but surely you'll find some creative stuff in it. This guy has the nerve to say I have no creativity? Just look at his gallery >>> http://thebloodstainedrose.deviantart.com/gallery/
NONE of that is original, just gifs and snapshots. Honestly this guy is the pure definition of COPYING, and 0 CREATIVITY and is in no position to be calling ANYONE uncreative.
Lastly, my "Vore Fetish". Welcome to the WORLD bud. 90% people have weird fetishes(He obviously has a Soma Cruz fetish), some that go waaaaay beyond(I'm not judging)
It's not a rare thing. I'm ALLOWED to like weird things. Not everyone has to like the same things y'know...
I'm sure this guy has his own fetishes he just doesn't want to admit it. We all have our weird interests in things. Don't lie now. -v-
I'm not hurting anyone by being fascinated with Vore, so Bleh.
I hope you guys understand a little more now and I thank you deeply for reading all of this.
Again I'm sorry for posting this but I just needed to get this off my chest. If it hurts my rep by making me out to be a whinny little brat then so be it. If anything I am speaking from my heart, and THAT takes courage to do these days.
Thank you all deeply ~From Adam and Dracul
(This probably holds little relevance here in FA but I'mma post it anyway =v=; )
Once again http://thebloodstainedrose.deviantart.com/ is getting under my skin. First outright stealing MY OC "Adam Cruz" then lashing out at me like this >>>
A short rant on the situation with TheGamerDracul
As I'm sure you're all aware, my friend Darian (InabiUchiha98) and I just dealt with a user by the name of TheGamerDracul, who is probably best known for his OC Adam Cruz. Originally this character was supposed to be part of Castlevania as the father of everyone's favorite reincarnated vampire, Soma Cruz.
I first met TheGamerDracul here on DA quite some time ago when he was still known as WolfDude11 and I criticized him mainly on Adam's design. Seriously, the guy just took Soma's design from Dawn of Sorrow and gave it longer hair. Talk about lazy -.- That's almost as bad as the all the Sonic the Hedgehog recolors on this site. He also has some kind of dragon OC persona named Dracul, I'm guessing to tie into his username. Guess what? Dracul is the alias used by Gabriel Belmont, an OFFICIAL Castlevania character. Just goes to show you that the guy has 0 creativity. He also has a vore fetish, which I could never understand how someone
So I took the gentleman's approach and read his lovely letter to me. And so, I will point a few things out, not just to get it into his thick skull(Not that it matters) but to also hopefully give you all some more information because I hardly talk about my ideas of stories or characters.
Anyway, starting from the beginning...
Evolution of my Characters
'Adam Cruz' was a character I made back when 'Flipnote Hatena' was still a thing. I got jealous seeing all my friends with their own OC's or Sonas, so I made my own. At the time I was heavily into 'Castlevania', so I based him off my fave character of the franchise: 'Soma Cruz', even giving him the backstory as him being "Soma's father", way before 'Aria of Sorrow' took place. Call it copying but this was at the time I had trouble with coming up with original ideas, back when I was young, so give me a break will ya. Eventually I made a Dragon form for him which in time became 'Dracul' you all know today.
Over time Adam has has gone through many changes and eventually I completely took away the "Soma idea" as well as most of his features and made him his own character. Just a simple 15 year old who befriends the King of Vampires: Dracul.
Like Adam Cruz, Dracul has also gone through MANY changes. However he was never based off of anything that had to do with Castlevania. Surprising right? Ask my old friends if you don't believe me. Even the name wasn't taken from Castlevania, which this guy seems to think so even though the name Dracula, Alucard AND Dracul can never be copy written. Dracul, although similar to Dracula, basically means "Dragon", so again how am I copying? Oh wait because Gabriel Belmont is called that in Lords of Shadow 2? Well then I guess he should also bitch at Konami for stealing that name because the name "Dracul" was created WAY before even the first Castlevania came out. Again ask my friends because I'm pretty sure I came up with the name 'Dracul' way before Lord's of Shadow 2 even came to existence.
Inspiration VS. Copying
My characters now, as well as the story I am creating are inspirations of the game I grew up with and love with a fiery passion.
Same as how Yooka-Laylee, Bloodstained and Mighty No. 9 are inspirations of Banjo-Kazooe, Castlevania and Megaman.
I wanted to make something similar, but fresh. I wanted to revive the joy and awesomeness those games gave me, because Konami obviously has no plans for a new Castlevania any time soon.
While I'm talking about Inspiration Vs. Copying, did you know Konami basically drew inspirations from Vampire Hunter D? Don't believe me? Check out Vampire D and I'm sure you'll see the similarities. Also keep in mind, Vampire Hunter D came out way before the first Castlevania game.
What I'm getting at is, there is a fine line between being inspired and just outright copying someone's work. I have seen plenty of anime/manga with stories or characters that are similar to others. A good example would be Pokemon and Digimon(Sorry Scav. =v=; )
Same with other TV shows, movies AND games.
As an Artist I think I speak for everyone when I say we gather inspiration from other artists, which is not a bad thing. And I can tell you right now I can name quite a few artists. Even myself, again, not a bad thing.
I'm sure you'll find similarities between art. You just need to look hard enough.
Anyone can copy anything these days. But there is a huge difference between inspiration and copying. BIG difference. It's not like I'm literally copying Castlevania's plot as well as characters(Like this... >>>
Castlevania: Dusk of Sorrow - Chapter 1
It was a beautiful autumn night in Chiyoda, located in Tokyo, Japan.
Soma Cruz had just gotten done going out to dinner with his girlfriend Mina Hakuba at one of the many local restaurants after a fun filled day of traveling around the city with her. They were now sitting down, relaxing by the moat in Chidorigafuchi Park, an area around one of a total of twelve moats that surrounded the Tokyo Imperial Palace and that was known for its splendid cherry blossoms every spring. Late in the cherry blossom season, the surface of the moat would become almost completely covered in pink petals. Strictly speaking, there was no actual park in the area. There was a cemetery, a path, a boat rental house, and this moat.
"Anything else you want to do?" he asked her.
Soma was young, only 19-years-old, with short, pearly-white hair and rather pale skin. His fairly large, almond-shaped eyes were smokey-hued under thick brows and framed by long eyelashes. He was normall
)
Few of my characters maaaay look similar, but the story is way different.
Other Stuff...
Now for the last few things. First, "My 0 Creative Skills"...
I shouldn't, but I am infuriated by this. Just look at my gallery. It's small but surely you'll find some creative stuff in it. This guy has the nerve to say I have no creativity? Just look at his gallery >>> http://thebloodstainedrose.deviantart.com/gallery/
NONE of that is original, just gifs and snapshots. Honestly this guy is the pure definition of COPYING, and 0 CREATIVITY and is in no position to be calling ANYONE uncreative.
Lastly, my "Vore Fetish". Welcome to the WORLD bud. 90% people have weird fetishes(He obviously has a Soma Cruz fetish), some that go waaaaay beyond(I'm not judging)
It's not a rare thing. I'm ALLOWED to like weird things. Not everyone has to like the same things y'know...
I'm sure this guy has his own fetishes he just doesn't want to admit it. We all have our weird interests in things. Don't lie now. -v-
I'm not hurting anyone by being fascinated with Vore, so Bleh.
I hope you guys understand a little more now and I thank you deeply for reading all of this.
Again I'm sorry for posting this but I just needed to get this off my chest. If it hurts my rep by making me out to be a whinny little brat then so be it. If anything I am speaking from my heart, and THAT takes courage to do these days.
Thank you all deeply ~From Adam and Dracul
(This probably holds little relevance here in FA but I'mma post it anyway =v=; )
Work Overload - March Update 1
Posted 8 years agoI mentioned before in one of my drawings I'd make a new journal about whats going on right now in my life.
I've held off on making journals because 1. I felt like I make more journals than drawings, and 2. I feel I just whine and moan in all of them, just ranting about nonsense, an that's not very good for my image...
So from now on, I'll try to keep rants to a minimum(that includes vent drawings) and just be more informative about whats going on.
Right now, as of late last month I have been getting more hours at my job. Which is really awesome because I need the money for bills and stuff as I am still managing an apartment.
However I'm getting TOO MANY hours and that's eating most of my time I could be drawing.
I know this sounds like a lame excuse for lateness(as I haven't posted anything in over 5 months...) but work is really taking over my life right now. And I HAVE to submit to it since I don't make anything from my art. Well I did, with commissions, but again that was all last year.
I know that work doesn't excuse why commissions were late though. So I'm just going to come out and say it...
For over 5 months, I have had a major art block. My depression took over and I just...lost the motivation to draw all together. As torn up as my life was, I was just getting by day after day, trying to cope with my depression.
I finally got medicine for it and I am in counseling. So far both of those have helped tremendously. I just need to push myself, find my motivation to draw.
I apologize deeply to those who are still waiting. I promised before I wouldn't do this again, but it happened. I hate making promises...
Believe me if I had the money I'd refund you all and still give you the drawings for free. This is inexcusable on my part. I am sorry...
I am slowly getting back into it, as you've seen with the stuff I had recently posted. Along with work, and depression, I am slowly carrying on with my art. Hopefully you will all see more from me from now on.
Thank you guys for supporting me thus far. And I will remind you of my Twitter page >>> https://twitter.com/TheGamerDracul
which you can use to see the updates of my goingons. You don't have to follow me, but'd I'd appreciate it and it's the best way to keep tabs on the things I'm doing, as I update it almost every day.
The Dragon thanks you all and wishes you well~Whats Going On???
Posted 9 years agoHey everyone it's been a while!
I promised myself not to make another journal until I finished the commissions...but I've not posted anything since last month and I'm sure some of you are concerned to why that is.
I know I sound like a broken record when I say YES I'm still working on the commissions. And I swear I am! With the combination of work, and depression I have been horribly sluggish with my art and even had multiple art blocks at the worst times. I haven't even met the deadlines I made for myself.
Work gets in the way because I'm spending hours at a job I'm not fond of for money to support an apartment I can't afford to lose. Work is time consuming as well as energy leeching because every time I come home I am tired and always having the urge to rest because work has really kicked my ass.
Depression is another thing that cuts into my art. Between the drama online and real life, I've felt pretty miserable and lacked the confidence to keep going. I even had to go to the hospital and get a Psychiatric Evaluation because I sort of went off the deep end a few days ago. But that's something I'm not comfortable with talking about...
This might seem like senseless rambling but...I just want you guys to KNOW what I am going through right now. It's pretty tough for me. And I'm trying my best...
I know it could be worse, I still have my health and I'm alive and I have all the people I love that actually care for me, that care that I'm around, and I am thankful for that.
But I hope you guys can understand, for my sake, the things I'm going through right now. And hopefully you don't have to go through it too.
I can't promise I'll speed up, I can't promise all the commissions done in a week. But have I always kept my word and completed a commission? Yes, I have. And I am quite proud of that.
Please understand guys, and PLEASE bear with me just a little longer.
I know you guys deserve better and I'm truly sorry.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope I didn't overdo it.
Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone.
God bless~
I promised myself not to make another journal until I finished the commissions...but I've not posted anything since last month and I'm sure some of you are concerned to why that is.
I know I sound like a broken record when I say YES I'm still working on the commissions. And I swear I am! With the combination of work, and depression I have been horribly sluggish with my art and even had multiple art blocks at the worst times. I haven't even met the deadlines I made for myself.
Work gets in the way because I'm spending hours at a job I'm not fond of for money to support an apartment I can't afford to lose. Work is time consuming as well as energy leeching because every time I come home I am tired and always having the urge to rest because work has really kicked my ass.
Depression is another thing that cuts into my art. Between the drama online and real life, I've felt pretty miserable and lacked the confidence to keep going. I even had to go to the hospital and get a Psychiatric Evaluation because I sort of went off the deep end a few days ago. But that's something I'm not comfortable with talking about...
This might seem like senseless rambling but...I just want you guys to KNOW what I am going through right now. It's pretty tough for me. And I'm trying my best...
I know it could be worse, I still have my health and I'm alive and I have all the people I love that actually care for me, that care that I'm around, and I am thankful for that.
But I hope you guys can understand, for my sake, the things I'm going through right now. And hopefully you don't have to go through it too.
I can't promise I'll speed up, I can't promise all the commissions done in a week. But have I always kept my word and completed a commission? Yes, I have. And I am quite proud of that.
Please understand guys, and PLEASE bear with me just a little longer.
I know you guys deserve better and I'm truly sorry.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope I didn't overdo it.
Have a wonderful and safe Christmas everyone.
God bless~
A Dragon In His Home
Posted 9 years agoYoyo! Heya! Wuzzuuuup? =v=
So a lot has been going on. But I've talked about that before in my other journals right? Eheh I'm hoping this one wont be too much of a downer.
So first things first, commissions are now open 24/7! You have 24 hours and 7 weeks to get a commission before the moon kills us all! ACT NOW!! D:
Heh, but seriously, I'm doing this because I have my own place now and I'm trying to manage it on my own. Which is not impossible, but bloodyhell if it aint a bitch. Pardon zee French. =v=
And keep in mind I have to pay rent plus utilities, PLUS Internet which I sadly do not have yet because I cannot afford it...yeah... ;~; (I am using my mobile's hotspot for wifi if anyone is wondering, it kinda sucks)
And believe me I am looking high and low for roommates which I think it'd be better than being alone, but until I do I must draw and work part time at that popular pizza place with that red roof that also sells wings and beer.......
Trying give you hints so I don't get nailed for mentioning where I work. o-o
Funny how when we're kinds we've dreamed of growing up and living on our own, away from our "cruel" parents. Now I just wanna go back in time and kick my kid self in the ass for wishing that all those years...
But hey, it's not all doom n gloom. It's actually quite nice and I feel like the king of my own life right now, it feels pretty good. ^^
So yeah, for those interested and want a commission feel free to give me a buzz! Seriously, any support helps in the long run. It makes it so this Dragon has a nice warm home this year, and I thank you all for the support thus far. =v=
Aside from commissions I must also try and get into my own personal drawings as well. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, I can imagine being upset when you're waiting for your commission and then suddenly seeing me post a drawing that isn't yours. I have an image and I have to keep throwing myself out there so others will finally notice me. I feel I haven't been doing that enough and it can be a problem. Please understand. :(
Also I'm working hard on something I'd like to call "Project Darkness". What is it? You'll have to wait and see. I'm planning on releasing it this October depending on how fast I am. =v=
Thank you guys for our support and kind words to me this year, I hope to make you all happy my upcoming art~
So a lot has been going on. But I've talked about that before in my other journals right? Eheh I'm hoping this one wont be too much of a downer.
So first things first, commissions are now open 24/7! You have 24 hours and 7 weeks to get a commission before the moon kills us all! ACT NOW!! D:
Heh, but seriously, I'm doing this because I have my own place now and I'm trying to manage it on my own. Which is not impossible, but bloodyhell if it aint a bitch. Pardon zee French. =v=
And keep in mind I have to pay rent plus utilities, PLUS Internet which I sadly do not have yet because I cannot afford it...yeah... ;~; (I am using my mobile's hotspot for wifi if anyone is wondering, it kinda sucks)
And believe me I am looking high and low for roommates which I think it'd be better than being alone, but until I do I must draw and work part time at that popular pizza place with that red roof that also sells wings and beer.......
Trying give you hints so I don't get nailed for mentioning where I work. o-o
Funny how when we're kinds we've dreamed of growing up and living on our own, away from our "cruel" parents. Now I just wanna go back in time and kick my kid self in the ass for wishing that all those years...
But hey, it's not all doom n gloom. It's actually quite nice and I feel like the king of my own life right now, it feels pretty good. ^^
So yeah, for those interested and want a commission feel free to give me a buzz! Seriously, any support helps in the long run. It makes it so this Dragon has a nice warm home this year, and I thank you all for the support thus far. =v=
Aside from commissions I must also try and get into my own personal drawings as well. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone, I can imagine being upset when you're waiting for your commission and then suddenly seeing me post a drawing that isn't yours. I have an image and I have to keep throwing myself out there so others will finally notice me. I feel I haven't been doing that enough and it can be a problem. Please understand. :(
Also I'm working hard on something I'd like to call "Project Darkness". What is it? You'll have to wait and see. I'm planning on releasing it this October depending on how fast I am. =v=
Thank you guys for our support and kind words to me this year, I hope to make you all happy my upcoming art~
Dracul Where Art Thou...
Posted 9 years agoHey everyone, I know it's been a while. So here's whats been happening...
Basically I'm going to be without a place yet again, a shocker I know. I guess I'm just not allowed to be in one place...
Long story short, the roommate I was set up with is an asshole and wants me out soon.
I managed to get a decent apartment, but now I'm flat broke with a little here n there that still needs paid off.
I am at a loss right now on what to do. Sure I'll have a place as long as I can keep up the rent, which is easier said than done... Probably won't have good internet for a while because that's just more money to pay, money I don't have...
How do people do it huh? How do some of the popular artists or Youtubers do it?
Someone please tell me now how YOU easily manage a good apartment, along with internet, food, possibly a car, and still manage to go to cons or whatever...
I must be doing SOMETHING wrong. But what is it...? What's the secret...
I'm really worried right now for the future...
And I know you guys will say "Oh it will be fine" or "Just keep your chin up." But honestly, kind words don't really help...
That's kind of dickish to say, but listen, I'm having such shit luck right now, me and my mother both are. I'm not saying I neglect your kind words. Hell no! I am happy there are at least a few who care. But in the end, the way things are, it's really hard to see that things will get any better.
So far, nothing good has really happened yet, it feels like things are just getting worse and worse...
Even now I'm deciding maybe I should quit drawing after I finish the commissions and look for real jobs. Because this gig isn't paying me well at all...I'm not getting anywhere with my art.
And I know I don't post a drawing day after day, but come on. Can any of you draw while you're under a lot of pressure...?
That's something I wanted most of all in my life, doing something I really love for a job. It was a dream. And that's all it will ever be for me...
I don't know how you guys did it, but congratz.
I'm sorry I'm such a downer, but this is my life. What was once perfect and simple, is now something I'll never be able to get back...
Thank you everyone who stuck with me over the years. You all really do mean a lot to me. I'm sorry I failed you all in the long run...
Basically I'm going to be without a place yet again, a shocker I know. I guess I'm just not allowed to be in one place...
Long story short, the roommate I was set up with is an asshole and wants me out soon.
I managed to get a decent apartment, but now I'm flat broke with a little here n there that still needs paid off.
I am at a loss right now on what to do. Sure I'll have a place as long as I can keep up the rent, which is easier said than done... Probably won't have good internet for a while because that's just more money to pay, money I don't have...
How do people do it huh? How do some of the popular artists or Youtubers do it?
Someone please tell me now how YOU easily manage a good apartment, along with internet, food, possibly a car, and still manage to go to cons or whatever...
I must be doing SOMETHING wrong. But what is it...? What's the secret...
I'm really worried right now for the future...
And I know you guys will say "Oh it will be fine" or "Just keep your chin up." But honestly, kind words don't really help...
That's kind of dickish to say, but listen, I'm having such shit luck right now, me and my mother both are. I'm not saying I neglect your kind words. Hell no! I am happy there are at least a few who care. But in the end, the way things are, it's really hard to see that things will get any better.
So far, nothing good has really happened yet, it feels like things are just getting worse and worse...
Even now I'm deciding maybe I should quit drawing after I finish the commissions and look for real jobs. Because this gig isn't paying me well at all...I'm not getting anywhere with my art.
And I know I don't post a drawing day after day, but come on. Can any of you draw while you're under a lot of pressure...?
That's something I wanted most of all in my life, doing something I really love for a job. It was a dream. And that's all it will ever be for me...
I don't know how you guys did it, but congratz.
I'm sorry I'm such a downer, but this is my life. What was once perfect and simple, is now something I'll never be able to get back...
Thank you everyone who stuck with me over the years. You all really do mean a lot to me. I'm sorry I failed you all in the long run...
I Got Kicked Out
Posted 9 years agoI swore I wouldn't make another journal until I at least completed a few more drawings.
Well for this sort of occasion I think this was necessary...
Basically I made up with my mother after so many months. I had my doubts but she seemed sincere so I made up with her and decided to help her out with our storage.
Unfortunately the guys who owned the place I was staying at weren't happy about that.
The situation is hard to explain, so in short, shit hit the fan, they got pissed and kicked me out.
Now I am with my mother and little sister, living with my mother's friend who is more reliable than the prick I stayed with previously.
I suppose this was inevitable but you know, I'm not mad I lost another place as much as I am about the fact I basically got stabbed in the back, again.
The guy who took care of me along with his girlfriend had contact with my drunk of a father who kept tabs on me at all times.
I mean really? I didn't find this out until later.
Right now I'm just upset and questioning whether I can trust a soul ever again...
Anyone can screw you over, friends, family, it doesn't matter...
I'm sure I'll get over this sooner or later but this is a huge blow to me...
I am at a safe place now. Safe, more or less.
Where I am I cannot say because I have a feeling my father might be trying to look for us, but rest assured I am somewhere I might be able to settle down for a long good while...
Regarding my drawings, YES I'm still working on them.
I just need you guys to please work with me. I am overwhelmed right now...
This is exactly why I don't charge that much for my commissions. I am slow and on top of it, I'm a magnet for trouble.
I didn't ask for this nor am I happy about this situation.
Just please understand...
Well for this sort of occasion I think this was necessary...
Basically I made up with my mother after so many months. I had my doubts but she seemed sincere so I made up with her and decided to help her out with our storage.
Unfortunately the guys who owned the place I was staying at weren't happy about that.
The situation is hard to explain, so in short, shit hit the fan, they got pissed and kicked me out.
Now I am with my mother and little sister, living with my mother's friend who is more reliable than the prick I stayed with previously.
I suppose this was inevitable but you know, I'm not mad I lost another place as much as I am about the fact I basically got stabbed in the back, again.
The guy who took care of me along with his girlfriend had contact with my drunk of a father who kept tabs on me at all times.
I mean really? I didn't find this out until later.
Right now I'm just upset and questioning whether I can trust a soul ever again...
Anyone can screw you over, friends, family, it doesn't matter...
I'm sure I'll get over this sooner or later but this is a huge blow to me...
I am at a safe place now. Safe, more or less.
Where I am I cannot say because I have a feeling my father might be trying to look for us, but rest assured I am somewhere I might be able to settle down for a long good while...
Regarding my drawings, YES I'm still working on them.
I just need you guys to please work with me. I am overwhelmed right now...
This is exactly why I don't charge that much for my commissions. I am slow and on top of it, I'm a magnet for trouble.
I didn't ask for this nor am I happy about this situation.
Just please understand...
Am I Trying Too Hard?
Posted 9 years agoOkay, so a lot of things have been going on this month.
Work has been great but very time consuming and draining, the main reason I haven't been submitting drawings sooner than usual.
I really miss not having a job actually and just spending time drawing away whatever came to mind.
But I NEED the money, and I NEED to do SOMETHING with my life.
It's just, so many things have been changing for me left and right and I just can't slow down for a moment and think anymore.
Things use to be so easy, but now it's such a struggle anymore. I really don't know how other people do it. And I don't have a car or a house I need to manage.
I guess I AM stupid because I truly do not know what to do in my life.
Main thing I wanted to talk about...or ask actually, was if I am trying to hard to make my art "perfect".
Let's face it, perfect art is a fool's dream, it's something no one, not even the greats could create. Yet, my mind thinks it sees perfect art when it sees drawings done by such wonderful artists, DA, FA, anywhere really. And then I get envious and want to do everything in my power to make my art look just as good.
I'm slow because I want things to be "perfect" to be precise. I'm like that meme "When the drawing is JUST RIGHT..."
I spend hours trying to make the lineart just right, or the eyes this or that way. I spend hours coloring, making sure I get EVERY pixel and then I spend even more hours shading. And then I spend hours redoing certain parts if I accidentally goofed up somewhere in the drawing. It's happened more than I'd like to admit...
I try to be "perfect" and it feels like a curse. It feels like I'm trying too hard. Part of me doesn't mind while the other part thinks I am taking too much time than needed for one simple drawing.
What do you guys think? Can anyone give me some peace on the subject?
And last thing I want to address before bringing this to a close, YES I heard about that horrible shooting at the Orlando nightclub and YES I felt awful about it.
Not so much because they were gay and were killed...okay this is sounding bad, please let me explain.
I am the kind of person who does not separate the gays from the regular people. People are all the same in my eyes. I hate that people refer to them as an individual race. Just call them...human beings. Like we all are.
In God's eyes we are all the same, so it doesn't matter.
And so what I meant before was, I was upset because I hate seeing death, anywhere to ANYONE.
Life is a precious thing and I fear for mine sometimes because once it's gone, it's gone.
They're lives were stolen. I bet a few of them had great things planned for themselves, but in an instant their lives were stolen. Why? because they were different?
C'mon people, is it really too hard to love someone? Let alone love them for who they are?
I'm sorry if this got deep and again, please read it ALL before getting mad at me. I don't hate ANYONE nor do I want to offend anyone.
I just get really worried when saying things like this because internet is viral and I don't want to set a bad name for myself.
I'm just trying to share my feelings.
Please stay safe everyone, especially during these times.
Work has been great but very time consuming and draining, the main reason I haven't been submitting drawings sooner than usual.
I really miss not having a job actually and just spending time drawing away whatever came to mind.
But I NEED the money, and I NEED to do SOMETHING with my life.
It's just, so many things have been changing for me left and right and I just can't slow down for a moment and think anymore.
Things use to be so easy, but now it's such a struggle anymore. I really don't know how other people do it. And I don't have a car or a house I need to manage.
I guess I AM stupid because I truly do not know what to do in my life.
Main thing I wanted to talk about...or ask actually, was if I am trying to hard to make my art "perfect".
Let's face it, perfect art is a fool's dream, it's something no one, not even the greats could create. Yet, my mind thinks it sees perfect art when it sees drawings done by such wonderful artists, DA, FA, anywhere really. And then I get envious and want to do everything in my power to make my art look just as good.
I'm slow because I want things to be "perfect" to be precise. I'm like that meme "When the drawing is JUST RIGHT..."
I spend hours trying to make the lineart just right, or the eyes this or that way. I spend hours coloring, making sure I get EVERY pixel and then I spend even more hours shading. And then I spend hours redoing certain parts if I accidentally goofed up somewhere in the drawing. It's happened more than I'd like to admit...
I try to be "perfect" and it feels like a curse. It feels like I'm trying too hard. Part of me doesn't mind while the other part thinks I am taking too much time than needed for one simple drawing.
What do you guys think? Can anyone give me some peace on the subject?
And last thing I want to address before bringing this to a close, YES I heard about that horrible shooting at the Orlando nightclub and YES I felt awful about it.
Not so much because they were gay and were killed...okay this is sounding bad, please let me explain.
I am the kind of person who does not separate the gays from the regular people. People are all the same in my eyes. I hate that people refer to them as an individual race. Just call them...human beings. Like we all are.
In God's eyes we are all the same, so it doesn't matter.
And so what I meant before was, I was upset because I hate seeing death, anywhere to ANYONE.
Life is a precious thing and I fear for mine sometimes because once it's gone, it's gone.
They're lives were stolen. I bet a few of them had great things planned for themselves, but in an instant their lives were stolen. Why? because they were different?
C'mon people, is it really too hard to love someone? Let alone love them for who they are?
I'm sorry if this got deep and again, please read it ALL before getting mad at me. I don't hate ANYONE nor do I want to offend anyone.
I just get really worried when saying things like this because internet is viral and I don't want to set a bad name for myself.
I'm just trying to share my feelings.
Please stay safe everyone, especially during these times.
FA Attacked: Dracul Is Fine But...
Posted 9 years agoYou ever had a day where you were at work and you find out something bad happened but you can't do anything about it until you go home, and it stresses you out just thinking about it?
That's how I felt when I heard FA was attacked by hackers and I was even more upset when two of my friends lost their accounts because of it...
I've known for a while that hackers got into FA but I didn't think much of it. I mean, shit like that happens around a lot of sites. But losing your account, something you worked hard to keep, just gone in an instant...
First I want to ask something, and I hope you hackers are reading...
WHY?? Why did you do this? What did you hope to gain by hacking into a furry gallery and messing around with good artists? Do you really have nothing to do in your lives??
It just...boggles my mind. I KNOW this shit happens. But I can't understand why people do the things they do...
Killing, stealing, messing with a website.
I'm honestly a bit afraid of the world we live in. People do whatever they want...for the hell of it.
And people said I was heartless. Nonono...
It's people like the hackers who have no hearts...
Sorry, I just wanted to talk a little bit before breaking the news. I want people to know I'm...well human.
Anyway...
I was able to recover my account. I was so worried because I didn't want to start all over again.
I'm not popular, but it doesn't matter. It's the work I put into that matters most of all.
I'm still upset though because again, two of my friends suffered thanks to these hackers.
They did nothing wrong and yet they paid the price. I cannot forgive that...
For those of you who lost your account, please hang in there and don't give up.
What comes around goes around, and Karma is a bitch. Those hackers will get whats coming to them. -w-
This Dragon's prayers go out to all you guys in hope you'll never give up.
That's how I felt when I heard FA was attacked by hackers and I was even more upset when two of my friends lost their accounts because of it...
I've known for a while that hackers got into FA but I didn't think much of it. I mean, shit like that happens around a lot of sites. But losing your account, something you worked hard to keep, just gone in an instant...
First I want to ask something, and I hope you hackers are reading...
WHY?? Why did you do this? What did you hope to gain by hacking into a furry gallery and messing around with good artists? Do you really have nothing to do in your lives??
It just...boggles my mind. I KNOW this shit happens. But I can't understand why people do the things they do...
Killing, stealing, messing with a website.
I'm honestly a bit afraid of the world we live in. People do whatever they want...for the hell of it.
And people said I was heartless. Nonono...
It's people like the hackers who have no hearts...
Sorry, I just wanted to talk a little bit before breaking the news. I want people to know I'm...well human.
Anyway...
I was able to recover my account. I was so worried because I didn't want to start all over again.
I'm not popular, but it doesn't matter. It's the work I put into that matters most of all.
I'm still upset though because again, two of my friends suffered thanks to these hackers.
They did nothing wrong and yet they paid the price. I cannot forgive that...
For those of you who lost your account, please hang in there and don't give up.
What comes around goes around, and Karma is a bitch. Those hackers will get whats coming to them. -w-
This Dragon's prayers go out to all you guys in hope you'll never give up.
Talkin About Things
Posted 9 years agoTime for another journal. Yaaaaaay!
Heheh, yeah you guys love hearing from me, right? ...Right? :[
Anyway...
First I'd like to announce my laptop has been sent in to be repaired.
BUT, I got a spare, so I can keep working on my drawings! Yup, you guys ain't rid of me yet. -w-
So yeah, I'll be working on drawings this week but I might be slowed down by work. And I heard I might get longer hours next week, so yeah...
I am still debating whether this is good or bad. Good I'm making money, but bad I hardly have time for other things, like drawing.
Plus I'm tired EVERYDAY. I can't last a day without coffee and sometimes I don't think coffee is working all that well.
I switched between brands and it feels like it helps. Sort of...
I just hope you guys can understand and hopefully wont be too mad at me for not posting drawings each and every day like some can. I'm just not THAT guy sadly.
I'll keep working on that though. Doooooon't ya'll worry.
Last I want to take a minute and talk about prices.
Don't worry, I'm not changing my prices...well maybe, but that's up to all YOU guys.
See, I make my prices fair and manageable because I look back on my poor self, hardly having any money for anything really.
So I make my prices low so people don't have to spare a limb for a nice drawing or comic.
At the same time though, I'm not making much money, and that CAN be a bit of a problem.
If I can't make good money from my job plus drawings, then I'll need to get two jobs and THEN I'll be in trouble...
Going back to making my prices low, I also did that because most the popular artists I've seen charge waaaaaay more than I ever would. It's insane! Even I can't afford something from them, which is why I hardly ever ask for commissions, rather I just draw what I want to see myself.
But see, they are making a living on their drawings. And I want to do that too. I just don't know how to...
I don't want to change and have people see me as the next greedy bastard. That's what stops me.
That and my drawings pale in comparison to others. And I know I shouldn't compare, but listen...
I did something in one of my drawings, I thought it looked great. Next day I saw the same thing in another drawing but better and with more views than I could ever hope for. Hell if I know what they did. Maybe they paid the government, who knows...
I know I'm not posting enough drawings as I should, but damn...and I also know it's about being at "the right place at the right time". Which I guess I never am...
I think I'm rambling too much, sorry.
But thank you guys for taking the time to read~
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.
And say hi now and then. C'mon, I love convos. :(
Heheh, yeah you guys love hearing from me, right? ...Right? :[
Anyway...
First I'd like to announce my laptop has been sent in to be repaired.
BUT, I got a spare, so I can keep working on my drawings! Yup, you guys ain't rid of me yet. -w-
So yeah, I'll be working on drawings this week but I might be slowed down by work. And I heard I might get longer hours next week, so yeah...
I am still debating whether this is good or bad. Good I'm making money, but bad I hardly have time for other things, like drawing.
Plus I'm tired EVERYDAY. I can't last a day without coffee and sometimes I don't think coffee is working all that well.
I switched between brands and it feels like it helps. Sort of...
I just hope you guys can understand and hopefully wont be too mad at me for not posting drawings each and every day like some can. I'm just not THAT guy sadly.
I'll keep working on that though. Doooooon't ya'll worry.
Last I want to take a minute and talk about prices.
Don't worry, I'm not changing my prices...well maybe, but that's up to all YOU guys.
See, I make my prices fair and manageable because I look back on my poor self, hardly having any money for anything really.
So I make my prices low so people don't have to spare a limb for a nice drawing or comic.
At the same time though, I'm not making much money, and that CAN be a bit of a problem.
If I can't make good money from my job plus drawings, then I'll need to get two jobs and THEN I'll be in trouble...
Going back to making my prices low, I also did that because most the popular artists I've seen charge waaaaaay more than I ever would. It's insane! Even I can't afford something from them, which is why I hardly ever ask for commissions, rather I just draw what I want to see myself.
But see, they are making a living on their drawings. And I want to do that too. I just don't know how to...
I don't want to change and have people see me as the next greedy bastard. That's what stops me.
That and my drawings pale in comparison to others. And I know I shouldn't compare, but listen...
I did something in one of my drawings, I thought it looked great. Next day I saw the same thing in another drawing but better and with more views than I could ever hope for. Hell if I know what they did. Maybe they paid the government, who knows...
I know I'm not posting enough drawings as I should, but damn...and I also know it's about being at "the right place at the right time". Which I guess I never am...
I think I'm rambling too much, sorry.
But thank you guys for taking the time to read~
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.
And say hi now and then. C'mon, I love convos. :(
PC Is Down...(LAST UPDATE)
Posted 9 years agoAlright, I've got some news, both good and bad.
The good news is, I have more than enough to pay off my laptop, thanks to my tax refund.
Here's the catch(Which is half the bad news actually): talking with the manager, apparently they won't repair this laptop after it's fully paid off, so here's what we worked out...
I paid the current bill and I send my laptop to get repaired.
And this is where the other half of the bad news kicks in...
If I send my laptop in, I will be left with NOTHING to work on. So commissions will come to a screeching halt.
Including a very important comic I'm working so hard on for a froggy-friend of mine.
Both good and bad that they will be here soon to pick it up and send it in, but that means I may not have time to finish certain commissions. And as I write this, I have work in a few hours...
Time to chug some coffee and work all night. I will see what I can do but I cannot make promises.
My only wish is that you guys please remain patient and forgive me for this.
If I don't repair the laptop then I'll run into problems like the last journal explained.
And I must apologize to
Trusted_Artists because they must expect so much from me which I have sadly come up short...
I just hope they don't take me off the list...
For right now and until my laptop is back and good as new, commissions will CLOSED.
Thank you guys for being patient and also taking time to read this.
Any questions please do not hesitate to ask.
The good news is, I have more than enough to pay off my laptop, thanks to my tax refund.
Here's the catch(Which is half the bad news actually): talking with the manager, apparently they won't repair this laptop after it's fully paid off, so here's what we worked out...
I paid the current bill and I send my laptop to get repaired.
And this is where the other half of the bad news kicks in...
If I send my laptop in, I will be left with NOTHING to work on. So commissions will come to a screeching halt.
Including a very important comic I'm working so hard on for a froggy-friend of mine.
Both good and bad that they will be here soon to pick it up and send it in, but that means I may not have time to finish certain commissions. And as I write this, I have work in a few hours...
Time to chug some coffee and work all night. I will see what I can do but I cannot make promises.
My only wish is that you guys please remain patient and forgive me for this.
If I don't repair the laptop then I'll run into problems like the last journal explained.
And I must apologize to
Trusted_Artists because they must expect so much from me which I have sadly come up short...I just hope they don't take me off the list...
For right now and until my laptop is back and good as new, commissions will CLOSED.
Thank you guys for being patient and also taking time to read this.
Any questions please do not hesitate to ask.
PC Is Down...(UPDATE)
Posted 9 years agoAfter a few hours my laptop was fully wiped clean.
I booted it up and so far it seems steady with the Disk not constantly spiking to 100% like it use to.
I am going to re-download everything, Skype, Steam, Sai, Photoshop and hope for the best. I'm even downloading Bitdefender in hopes of that protecting me from any viruses that may have caused this problem.
I am only going to draw this time. I'm not downloading or playing or even streaming games on this untl it is paid off and fixed. Because regardless, it does need repaired in a few parts.
I pray this will last until then. I shall try and continue drawing.
Please pray for me or send positives my way in anyway you guys can.
Wish me luck...
I booted it up and so far it seems steady with the Disk not constantly spiking to 100% like it use to.
I am going to re-download everything, Skype, Steam, Sai, Photoshop and hope for the best. I'm even downloading Bitdefender in hopes of that protecting me from any viruses that may have caused this problem.
I am only going to draw this time. I'm not downloading or playing or even streaming games on this untl it is paid off and fixed. Because regardless, it does need repaired in a few parts.
I pray this will last until then. I shall try and continue drawing.
Please pray for me or send positives my way in anyway you guys can.
Wish me luck...
PC Is Down...
Posted 9 years agoThis is a short update because I am using my phone to type this.
My Alienware laptop has started not working properly...
This occurrd a few days ago. I have not found the cause and I am extremely passed about this...
The Disk stays at 100% and I've tried everything. Scans, uninstalled programs. But nothing worked...
It got to the point where I couldnt move the mouse without the whole thing freezing up.
Right now I am wiping it clean. I was however able to get all my drawings before this.
If this doesn't work then...
Then I can't fix it until I pay it off. And that could take months...
I'm not dancing around this. I am fucked at this moment...
I'm pissed my only way of communication is down and that I have a shit ton of commissions I need to do...
I am sorry guys, I really am...
I am on the verge of tears because of how scrappy this week just became...
Please hang in there and please forgive me...
My Alienware laptop has started not working properly...
This occurrd a few days ago. I have not found the cause and I am extremely passed about this...
The Disk stays at 100% and I've tried everything. Scans, uninstalled programs. But nothing worked...
It got to the point where I couldnt move the mouse without the whole thing freezing up.
Right now I am wiping it clean. I was however able to get all my drawings before this.
If this doesn't work then...
Then I can't fix it until I pay it off. And that could take months...
I'm not dancing around this. I am fucked at this moment...
I'm pissed my only way of communication is down and that I have a shit ton of commissions I need to do...
I am sorry guys, I really am...
I am on the verge of tears because of how scrappy this week just became...
Please hang in there and please forgive me...
Good Things + Art Theft... (UPDATED)
Posted 9 years agoAlright...
So you guys know I'm finally apart of the
trusted-artists group and that I had 2 interviews for a job.
I'm making this to talk about the problem explained in my last journal.
"Really? Two journals in one day?" Yes, because how else can I talk to you all publicly?
I promise this will be the LAST journal for a while. I just wanted to update on what happened today.
Apparently my last journal pissed of said artist I was talking about(Not that I didn't think it would happen, just thought he would be a little mature about it). I even lost a few friends because of it.
Whats sad was they took his side and didn't even listen to my side of the story. I mean really? Why were we even friends if you're so much more loyal to that other guy? I cannot believe I was friends with a bunch of asskissers. That's basically what they are!
And I pray none of YOU have friends like that. If one friend faves another over you, leave him fast!
Last, the dude went so far as to make a journal and make ME out to be an art thief. (And I'd just like to add, I swear on my life I never once claimed a drawing as my own. That is something my big sister did once but that's another story...)
Okay, what I did was crappy, yeah. But again I believe what I did was justified because I didn't have to take his threats and manipulation. Oh and his, going around tattling to my friends. And I thought he was older than me? Huh...
Also I never "stole his art" his "soul". I said I reclaimed ownership over the CONCEPT ART. Y'know, the art I drew that defined his character.
HE told me the hair color and eye color yes. But I provided EVERYTHING ELSE. His hairstyle, outfit, etc!
Without my ideas, without MY art his "soul" wouldn't have taken shape in the first place!
I took back what was originally mine when HE screwed me over. There is nothing wrong with that!
*Sigh*
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry I had to do all this. Creating so much chaos...showing so much anger right now...
But how else can I explain myself? There shouldn't be anything wrong with pouring your heart out.
The least I can say is, I'm not afraid to take a stand for what I believe is right.
I'm sorry if this is a bad image of me. I wish I didn't have to make this journal...
But I couldn't do anything today because I felt like pure crap, because of this ONE artist and loss of friends.
If this is the wrong thing for me to do, then tell me...
I always thought it was okay to reach out when you're distressed...
That is all. Take it for what you will guys. Love me, hate me. I am deeply sorry...
Tomorrow hopefully things will get better. I am STILL keeping ownership over the CONCEPT ART and using it to how I see fit.
Other than that, I am going to let go and try to move on.
Thank you for reading and listening. I hope you will all still see me as a friendly artist...
Let's make the best of 2016...
COMMISSIONS (I am open again~)
====================================================
Lineart - $10.00 $5.00 Add a character (Simple lineart of a character. No background or color. Just an outline)
Flat Colors - $15.00 $5.00 Add a character $5.00 add a background (Add color to above and you get this. Back ground my be included.)
Full - $25.00 $10.00 Add a character (A drawing with the works. Color, background, as well as smooth shadings to the best of my abilities.)
Comics American/Manga - $30.00 Per page. (the difference here is, American comics read left to right and usually have color unless said otherwise. Where as Manga reads right to left and usually has no color unless said otherwise.)
Icons - $15.00 (Like full drawings but smaller and easier to do.)
Refs - $25.00 (Refs of a simple character or two. Can be flat colors or full. Whatever is desired.)
==================================================
So you guys know I'm finally apart of the
trusted-artists group and that I had 2 interviews for a job.I'm making this to talk about the problem explained in my last journal.
"Really? Two journals in one day?" Yes, because how else can I talk to you all publicly?
I promise this will be the LAST journal for a while. I just wanted to update on what happened today.
Apparently my last journal pissed of said artist I was talking about(Not that I didn't think it would happen, just thought he would be a little mature about it). I even lost a few friends because of it.
Whats sad was they took his side and didn't even listen to my side of the story. I mean really? Why were we even friends if you're so much more loyal to that other guy? I cannot believe I was friends with a bunch of asskissers. That's basically what they are!
And I pray none of YOU have friends like that. If one friend faves another over you, leave him fast!
Last, the dude went so far as to make a journal and make ME out to be an art thief. (And I'd just like to add, I swear on my life I never once claimed a drawing as my own. That is something my big sister did once but that's another story...)
Okay, what I did was crappy, yeah. But again I believe what I did was justified because I didn't have to take his threats and manipulation. Oh and his, going around tattling to my friends. And I thought he was older than me? Huh...
Also I never "stole his art" his "soul". I said I reclaimed ownership over the CONCEPT ART. Y'know, the art I drew that defined his character.
HE told me the hair color and eye color yes. But I provided EVERYTHING ELSE. His hairstyle, outfit, etc!
Without my ideas, without MY art his "soul" wouldn't have taken shape in the first place!
I took back what was originally mine when HE screwed me over. There is nothing wrong with that!
*Sigh*
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry I had to do all this. Creating so much chaos...showing so much anger right now...
But how else can I explain myself? There shouldn't be anything wrong with pouring your heart out.
The least I can say is, I'm not afraid to take a stand for what I believe is right.
I'm sorry if this is a bad image of me. I wish I didn't have to make this journal...
But I couldn't do anything today because I felt like pure crap, because of this ONE artist and loss of friends.
If this is the wrong thing for me to do, then tell me...
I always thought it was okay to reach out when you're distressed...
That is all. Take it for what you will guys. Love me, hate me. I am deeply sorry...
Tomorrow hopefully things will get better. I am STILL keeping ownership over the CONCEPT ART and using it to how I see fit.
Other than that, I am going to let go and try to move on.
Thank you for reading and listening. I hope you will all still see me as a friendly artist...
Let's make the best of 2016...
COMMISSIONS (I am open again~)
====================================================
Lineart - $10.00 $5.00 Add a character (Simple lineart of a character. No background or color. Just an outline)
Flat Colors - $15.00 $5.00 Add a character $5.00 add a background (Add color to above and you get this. Back ground my be included.)
Full - $25.00 $10.00 Add a character (A drawing with the works. Color, background, as well as smooth shadings to the best of my abilities.)
Comics American/Manga - $30.00 Per page. (the difference here is, American comics read left to right and usually have color unless said otherwise. Where as Manga reads right to left and usually has no color unless said otherwise.)
Icons - $15.00 (Like full drawings but smaller and easier to do.)
Refs - $25.00 (Refs of a simple character or two. Can be flat colors or full. Whatever is desired.)
==================================================
