Today it's 30 years ago since Ian Curtis hanged himself in his kitchen. 30 years, if he had lived I don't dare think of all the amazing music he would have made. All the intense lyrics he would have created. All the insane concerts. All the news of him getting wild spasms on the scene. But then again, imagine all the bad and horrible cover versions there would be, mocking his work and soul. There are more than enough already. I have lost count on how many lousy cover versions I've heard of Love Will Tear Us Apart and Atmosphere.

His body may be gone, but his soul continues to exist and live through his music. How do you describe his works? Music and lyrics? It's like describing to a blind person how the rainbow looks like. Listen yourself and make up your mind. But it may take some tries before you get to the center of it, because it's like an acquired taste for the mind.
Or as Ian Curtis said it himself: All my lyrics are open to interpretation by the individual and imply many different meanings, therefore their relevance is purely subjective.

Ian.. Where you are now?

You assume that a stranger on the street who smiles at or greets you is:
a) drunk
b) insane
c) an American
d) all of the above

You enjoy the taste of lutefisk (jelly-like, bad-smelling fish) and cod prepared in any way, including fried cod tongues.

You can prepare fish in five different ways without cooking it.

You don't question the habit of always preparing a "matpakke" (dull sandwich in paper).

You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

You serve foreigners Smalahove just to laugh at their faces when they try to eat it.

You think it's weird if a house isn't wooden.

You know at least five different words for describing different textures of snow.

You don't fall when walking on ice.

You earn more than you spend.

You associate Easter with cross-country skiing with friends and family in the familys mountain cabin.

You are shocked if it's not 2 months of snow every year, at least!

You can see mountains and the ocean, no matter where you are.

You expect all dinner parties and meetings to start precisely on time, if not before.

You only buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of people.

You always prepare to catch the closing door if following closely behind somebody.

You don’t think silence is awkward.

You believe that having no choice of products in a supermarket makes it easier to shop.

You feel that an outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius ( 45F ) is mild in mid June.

You have only two facial expressions; smiling or blank.

You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (Booze & wine store).

You think nothing of paying $50 for a bottle of ‘cheap’ vodka at Vinmonopolet.

You look away when you walk by people on the street.

You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get wasted”.

You buy tobacco just to get your tax-free quota, even if you don't smoke.

You would rather miss your flight than not have enough time to buy the duty free alcohol quota.

You like to wrap your hotdog in a cold potato-crêpe.

You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Christmas-eve.

You find yourself speaking halfway Swedish with Swedes.

You get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you.

You get your hands on Norwegian chocolate and guard it with your life.

You are more afraid of the Customs than terrorists.

You barbecue when it’s raining.

You get dozy after only two days of sun.


If you can identify yourself with all of these then congratulations, you're a Norwegian. If not, bend over so I can assrape you.

No matter what you say, pixels will always have a special place in our hearts. And if you don't agree then you don't have a heart.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpZHsRkAH9M

Now where did I put my cauliflower...

English isn't my native language, and sometimes (specially when drunk or stressed) words from my language manages to sneak into the sentences. Most times people have just laughed, but there have been a couple of awkward situations.
Some examples:


Norwegian - English

Fart - Speed (What is the fart limit?)
Spy - Vomit (Stop the car, I must spy)
Smell - pop/small bang (Don't smell the balloon)
Kokk (but is pronounced 'cock') - Chef (Look at that fat kokk)
Tell - Count (Please tell the money)
Handle - Shop (Where can I handle?)
Hell - Luck (I wish you hell in the future)

You also have common names that mean something completely different in other languages. Like Even, Odd, Roar and Guro. Homo is a common last name in the western part of Norway. (Hello, I'm Odd Homo.)

When the world have become so small and easy to reach there will always be some misunderstandings when words with different meanings suddenly pops up. Have you experienced anything fun, awkward, bizarre or hilarious that have been caused by language confusion?

Yanked from  ecmajor


First, pick something(s) from each of the categories that you like/love that most people dislike/hate:

A food - Lutefisk (delicious)
A drink - Pink Cadillac, a really sweet and sickening drink. It will probably give me diabetes one day.
A hobby - When I was younger I used to collect feet from birds and hares my father shot, had a drawer full of them. Today I'm not sure. I really like to capture seagulls.
A TV show - The only one I can think of for the moment is Lexx. The crew of Lexx is the most insane I've ever seen.
A movie - Phantasm by Don Coscarelli. (BOOOOOYY!)
A band/artist - Anne Murray
A genre of music - Golden oldies
A video game - Super Mario 64
A sport - I don't care for sports
A fetish - Getting my hair cut


Next, pick something from each category that you dislike/hate that most people like/love:

A food - Sandwiches
A drink - Coca Cola
A hobby - Car stuff
A TV show - King of the Hill
A movie - Zombieland
A band/artist - Donkeyboy
A genre of music - Rap
A video game - Resident Evil 5
A sport - All sports
A fetish - Nude women in red high heels


Next, just some all around weirdness:

Weirdest hair style I've had - Not a style, but I once used too much bleach in my hair and let it dwell too long, so my entire skull got red and itchy. Had to shave my hair and my head looked like a big tomato. After a while the dead skin started to fall off, I could pick off skin flakes the size of bisquits. People thought I was a leper.
Weirdest collection I have/had - Dead animal feet? I also collect all my old wallets.
Weirdest online friend - They are all loonies, that's why I love them.
Weirdest RL friend - I doubt you know him. He's like a modern Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde.
Weirdest piercing/tattoo - I don't have a piercing or tattoo and I won't have any of that either. No sir.
Weirdest thing I've done - To steal a very old bicycle with no breakes and flat back tire and then cycle 7,5 miles in the middle of the night, in a rainstorm, with a bloody face. I also stopped and picked up 10 litre of brussel sprouts from a field and put them in a plastic bucked I found along the way. Since it was raining I got mud in my shoes and up my dress pants. I also got stopped by the police when I was almost home, and when he asked what I had in the bucket I said "cannabis". (Yes, I was drunk.)
Weirdest way I've hurt myself - Smashed an old, itailan table with the back of my head that belonged to the mother of a friend of mine. I forced myself to faint and fell backwards. My friends thought I died. And my glasses flew to the other side of the living room.
Weirdest fact about you - Yeah, you would love to know what that is, eh?

Damages caused by impacts from objects or clumsiness aren't that bad, because you can always use crutches or pain killers. But when you get invaded at cellular level it's a whole different thing. Pills don't take away the energy draining feeling, and crutches are as effective like the gibberish from Gilbert Gottfried.
My throat was a bit sore yesterday when I went to bed, had intense dreams and woke up drenched in sweat. I guess it's that time of year again. The sticky, dark yellow mucus I cough up looks like aborted monster fetuses. And the aftertase they give reminds me about the dream I had. Dreams caused by internal sickness have the bad habit of being insane and disturbing.

The dream I had tonight was gut grinding. For some reason I wanted to amputate my left leg from just beneath my hip. So I took a circular saw to the kitchen, put my leg over the stove, and started to cut down in my thigh. But the bone wouldn't give in, and the loss of blood made me give up the attempt. I poured some disinfectant over the gaping wound and put some sticky strips over.
All the blood from the operation had been running down in a big casserole of iron. I had nothing better to do so I just threw in some chopped up vegetables and meat and made some stew. All my blood got absorbed by the vegetables, the entire dish was bloodred and slimy. The heat from the stove made me thirsty, but no matter how much water I drank I was still thirsty. The heat was intense, and the glorping sounds from the cooking stew drilled it's way into my ears.

In the end I sat down by the table with a nude guy looking like John Candy. His throat was cut open and every time he tried to swallow the food it just fell out from the open wound together with his own mucus and saliva. The stuff that fell out landed on my plate and I was forced to eat it. The heat wouldn't go away, the thirst was painful, and the glorping sounds was still going on in my head.

Then i woke up, all sweaty, dried up in my throat, head aching, knee aching, no energy at all. It is under circumstances like this that I really get the reminder on how lucky I am that I don't have it like this all the time. But it still sucks being sick. Right now Im as entertaining as a bowl of water. I'm just glad that it's still cold outside, or else I would have bursted out in spontaneous combustion.

Tomorrow I'm going to the mall to cough on people.
Spread the love brother, spread the love.

Youtube is like a goldmine when it comes to finding treasures who exercise you laughing muscles. And I really need to improve my direct translation. Fysj!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_6a5V2F8K0

If you wonder how it would be to kombine Super Mario Kart with Half Life 2 then you have your answer here. It's not just wicked and cool, it also fills you with a feeling similar to mayonnaise. I'm not sure if the link have been posted here before. Forgive me if it has.

Where is the dust's mothership? I need to send nuclear rockets straight into it's cold, mechanical, soulless heart. I need to obliterate it before I go insane. I fear the madness will get a grip on me and transform me to some sort of wicked Mr. Hyde. Just more perverse and annoying than the original with the impressive unibrows.
Yesterday I was cleaning my whole apartment, wiping over everything, removing all the dust and dustbunnies. It took me around 3 hours, 4 rags, a lot of sweat and the discovery of a non-used condom with banana flavor. I have no idea how that condom ended up behind the couch, I hate condoms with flavors. The taste is so artificial and strange, it's like having microwave heated plastic in your mouth. But anyway.. I cleaned and polishied everything like a madman. Satisfied and proud over my housewife skills I celebrated with Battlestar Galactica and bakery goods.

When i got up today I discovered something. DUST! (By the way, did you know that "dust" means "idiot" in my language? It serves it right. Because it's IDIOTIC!) Yeah, I used so much time and energy on the intense cleaning that I didn't expect to see any dust for a long time. But there it was, spread out everywhere. A nice layer of dust. Disgusting dust. Dull dust. Depressive dust.
WHERE DOES IT ALL COME FROM? Is there a dust fairy who fly around when people sleep and spread dust everywhere? Sprinkles dust like it's some sort of aphrodisiac? It's perverse.
It was like getting punched in the stomach by Klaus Nomi. The joy of having a clean apartment went down the drain together with my self esteem. Is it just me the mothership have targeted? Or is the whole world under attack by the everlasting dust?

From now on I'll collect all the dust bunnies I see and store them away for several years. And when I have enough I'll build a dust bunny version of a wicker man and set it on fire while I dance naked around it like a ten thousand year old heathen.


I also managed to screw up my knee again. Took a fall on the ice and heard this delightful "crunch" coming from within. It felt like some sort of mad scientist tried to yank the knee cap right off. And the pills I got at the ER make me a bit distant in the thinking pattern. They also make me want to eat the wall. I need a man who can keep an eye out for me. Or hold me in a leash. If not I may end up on the other side of the rainbow. And let me tell you something; Oz have changed a lot since Dorothy ran around there and melting green old women. The witches are now brothel moms, the Munchkins have zombified, the Scarecrow have started eating brains, the Thin Man became an axe murderer, the Cowardly Lion went all schizo and ended up in the loonie bin, the flying monkeys are being hunted because of their prime meat and the Wizard went insane and are now known as "The Professor", a mad scientist who makes Dr. Frankenstein look like a high school biology teacher. Where am I?

You can really learn much by watching porn, it's as realistic as life itself.

Gay porn:

* Fat people don't exist.
* You can meet a stranger in an alley and rim him right there, because everyone's assholes are always clean, 24/7.
* A virgin can take a 9 inch long cock without a problem.
* Straight men have no problem giving oralsex or receiving analsex.
* Licking your fingers and then rubbing them on the cockhead is lube enough for an entire intercourse.
* If you surprise someone having sex they will not be angry but instead invite you to join them.
* Everyone orgasms at the same time.
* All black men is hung like a horse.
* Pubic hair is non-existent after year 2000.
* Even garbage men look like models.
* Not talking during sex isn't possible.


Straight porn:

* All women are bisexual.
* Women wear high heels in bed.
* Asian men doesn't exist.
* Ejaculating inside a woman is unheard of.
* Women can rub their long and hard nails on their vagina in a circular pattern at a high speed without shredding it to pieces.
* All the men have erections, flaccid cocks is a myth.
* Women get an orgasm by sucking cock.
* The cries a woman who's having sex is very similar to the ones of a woman getting stabbed to death.
* Women LOVES peeping toms.
* All nurses dress like hookers.


Have I forgotten something?
Now excuse me, I have to rim someone in an alley. Because all men are actually gay and their intestines are always empty.

Is the world really going to hell? Or have there just been too many 'end of the world' movies lately that triggers the paranoia effect? But this winter have made me think of Ragnarok. (Or Ragnarök for you english speaking persons.) Norse mythology have always interested me, not because it's part of my heritage, but because it's so very different from other mythologies.

There is something called Fimbulvetr (Fimbulwinter), it's a long winter that will last 3 years and end with Ragnarok. There will be no summers in between and there will be many wars where brothers kills brothers. Not literally speaking, brothers can also mean nations or countries. The winter that started last year have been colder and more intense than the previous ones through the decades.

So.. The Mayan calendar ends in 2012, also three years after this hard winter started, or shall we call it Fimbulvetr?
But Ragnarok isn't exactly the end of the world, but the beginning of the end. In Vǫluspá, that is both a creation story and a doomsday prophecy, it is said that the world ends with the sun dying and the land get devoured by the sea. But not long after a new world rises from it. Oh, and Thor is the last God to fall, that burly hunk of a man.

I could go on with what happens but it would probably melt your brains with boredom. Anyway, I have this strange feeling that something is coming. You can feel it in the air, it's tense and indescribable. Maybe it really is Ragnarok?

I deleted the previous journal, wrote it in a melancholic moment and found out later that it was maybe too honest. FA is a place for joy and fun, and throwing out depressing svada in people's faces sorta kills the mood. But that won't prevent me to tell you some facts of life I learned last year.

Do you think work is everything? Having a nice job and fancy gadgets, earning as much money as possible by working late hours and weekends? Do you make plans for the future? Systematic plans, detailed plans, thinking how cool and great it will be when you finally can put the plans out in life? Do you treat your family bad? Well, think again.

What's the point in having a great job when it absorbs your life? You miss birthdays, parties, fun times, all because of a job that you one day will be retired from. You don't get second chances, chances of having good times with friends are here and now, if your were too busy working then they went by and you missed them. Possible great happenings and memorable days replaced with work. Instead of having a great time you were working your ass off, in the end it doesn't mean shit. Take time to live too. When you are old memories are all you have left. What will you remember? Your office/workplace or your friends and familiy having good times, laughing, telling stories, going on adventures? What will warm you the most?

Life is what happens when you plan it. All the time you use on planning are also your life. Imagine all the hours and days you have used on planning things that didn't happen. Live now, because you may be dead tomorrow. What are plans good for then?
The only way to follow your dreams is to wake up and live them, dreaming about stuff you want to do is just dreams. Isn't it better to experience them? Sometimes it's better to regret having done stuff than regret you didn't even try.

Some have great families, other have familes that makes the Addams Family looks like your average american dream. You can't choose family, family choose you. If you don't have a good relationship with your family then ok, you don't have to force yourself to hug them and smile and visit them every day. But show them that you care and exist, that you know they exist, fights and arguing will always happen, no matter how good/bad relationship you have with your family. It's up to you how long you will be angry at them. One day they will be gone, and you will never get the chance to tell them what you really meant and felt. Life happens now, when you read this, when you eat breakfast tomorrow. It's short, delicate, too precious to waste on just work, planning and grudges.
Nothing lasts forever, but it's what you have done that really matters in the end. To find peace with yourself and think "I did it great, my life was rich and I would have done it all again if I got the chance".

So, if life is unfair then change it. We are now in a new decade and I am going to change mine. Are you going to change yours, or are you happy where you are?
Instead of shaking my fist angrily and tell you all to get up and do something, just sit still and check out this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK0Hz5flVLg

Have a nice day and do something that pleases you, because you have deserved it.
Draug

We all get scared of one thing or another. It differs from person to person. Fear of the unknown, fear of the known. Something fill us up with such dread and intense horror, makes us feel so vulnerable, like a weak and helpless rabbit in the corner of a wolfpit. Other things just makes us uneasy in a couple of seconds and then we just shrug it off. There are many levels of horror, but they all grow in the same mould. And that means they can grow, evolve, mutate.

Strangers in the dark is one of my more heavy fears. Seeing the silhouettes of people coming towards me in the dark to cross my path feeds my terror and gives my imagination an electrical shock, images of all the horrible things these unknown, anonymous people can do to me is so wicked that only half of it is more than enough. Everyone knows how fucked up human nature is. Of what a human is capable of doing alone. Add a couple of more individuals then you get a symphony of grotesque horrors. Few things scare me as much as meeting unknown people in the dark.

Walking outside when it's dark I would prefer seeing the silhouette of something unknown rather than something known. Maybe a humanoid silhouette with four arms? Or something humongously big with horns? Something walking on all fours with a head big as an oil drum? Anything would be better than the familiar silhouette of a person.

I'm not going to lie and say that seeing silhouettes of someething big and unknown coming towards me wouldn't be intimidating and scary. But I would not only feel fear like I do with the known silhouettes. The feeling would be a mix of fright and delight. Walking toward this alien thing would definitely have been the highlight of the week, or year. Lifetime? The great thing about the unknown is that you'll never know what you may stumble over. It's something your mind haven't prepared, it's something it can't identify, it both fascinates and scares you. It can be something good or something bad. If it's bad then it's just another addition to the already macabre world. If it's good.. well, then you have hit jackpot. The beginning of something great, a new hope that proves this world isn't finished after all.

Most of the things we know about in this world is either dangerous or bad news. I embrace the unknown and hope that one day I will come over a strange silhouette in the night that isn't human. That is if the known and familiar silhouettes doesn't kill me first.

Fears is an necessary evil.
What's yours?

Internet is like sugar for the mind; it's something that you really don't need to survive but DAMN it feels great to have it. It injects you with a form of satisfaction which makes the brain glow. (Literally if you're using a computer that runs on nuclear cells.)

I bought an iMac a while ago (when I still had a stable job) but some kind of phobia of different technologies prevented me from using it. This week I haven't done anything else than trying to figure out how it works, it's so very different from a PC. Strange, strange...

Hmm, my mind is still blank. I guess it have to be trained too just like the body, or else it will wither to a dehydrated raisin-looking thing that not even a brainhungry zombie would touch. Speaking of zombies, I've just finished reading World War Z. It was a great reading. See? I sound like an impotent lobster. I need to inject something into my brain.

How about a joke?

I used to hate to attend weddings. All my aunts and my grandmother always had to pinch my cheek really hard and push their elbows into my ribs while saying in a high voice "You are the next, your are the next". But I finally got an end to it.
'What did you do?'
It was easy; I started doing the same to them in funerals.

Just a note to let you people out there know that I'm not dead (yet), but I did almost die, twice. Thank Cthulhu for modern medicine and competent doctors.
I was almost a month in the hospital, the most things I remember is the color white. So much white. I will never see the color white again.

After recovering I got the message that I didn't have a job anymore, the staff at my workplace had to get rid of some 'dead weight', and since they thought I wouldn't come back they removed my place in the firm. The first thing that greated me when coming home again was a mountain of bills. They had shut down my phone, my internet connection, the loan on the apartment had mutated to something insane from the capital world, all in all a very stressful situation.

I managed to get some senses in the demented heads of the bankmen, so I'm not homeless. At least not yet. With a spare time job as a pizza baker it will take some time to get the everyday needs back. Like the internet, real food (damn I'm tierd of pizza), DVD's, and the newest Ratchet & Clank game.

2009 wasn't my year, not at all. Other bad shit have happened too, but that is something I don't feel like sharing on an open arena like this.
Hopefully 2010 will be better. If not I will probably evolve into the new Saddam Hussain.

(I'm borrowing my friend's computer, he's at the store for the moment. I just have to remember to delete the cookies and history, or else he will probably smash his laptop on top of my head.)


I wish you a delightful Christmas and a non-sober New Year.
See ya all next year (I hope).

This time I've been hit really hard on the celluar level. The later days have been hell, I'm not sure if it's an ordinary flu or something else. Described the symptons for my mother (she's a nurse) who have a suspicion that it may be H1N1 and she's going to drive me to the hospital tomorrow if I don't feel any better till then.
I turned 29 four days ago, and I went out with some friends that day. It must have been during that time I got infected or whatever. At first I thoght it was a bad hangover the next day, but the body just continued to go crazy. Can't even focus when writing.
Hopefully I'll be better in a couple of days.

Stolen from  fabercastel (I hope he didn't mind me rooting around in his dirty laundry)

---

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Draug
Øyvind
Lion


THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
Bifrost
Monsun
Draug


THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES (Of the last day)
Squished a fat fly
Took an elevator ride
Burned my late dinner (well, BEYOND burned... black crisp is more like it)


THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can talk myself out of all kind of situations
No recipes is a challenge for me
My imagination


THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
I can't take anything seriously
I talk too much
I postpone too much/The lack of initiative


THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS:
Norwegian
Norwegian
Norwegian


THREE THINGS YOU'RE AFRAID OF:
Porcelain dolls
Becoming a vegetable
Strangers in the dark


THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
Blue routed shirt
Jeans
Boxer briefs


THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
Fur Affinity
Tasteful food
Stress relief


THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS:
My keys
The oven
Gaming console


THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS:
Electric Light Orchestra
Duran Duran
Depeche Mode


THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:
Full stomach
Buying a new DVD
Meeting friends


THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
Jan Hammer - Crockett's Theme
E.S. Posthumus - Nara
The Buoys - Timothy


THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
Get a new and better job
Grow up and do something with my life
DP


THREE THINGS YOU REGRET:
My education
Wasting 10 years of my life running in circles with dead end jobs
Didn't learn a third language (it becomes more difficult to learn new languages the older you get)


THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
To be able to breathe now and then (clingy boyfriends suffocates me)
Variety
No obsessive behaviour


THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU'VE GIVEN TO THE WORLD:
Blood
Tears
Waste


TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
Some germans stopped my older brother from drowning me when I was a child
I've been arrested
One time I attacked my grandmother with a carrot


THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE SAME SEX:
The bulge in the groin
The face
Meat on the bones


THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE SAME SEX:
Be able to laugh of themself
Relaxed personality
A big libido


THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
Forgive certain people
Lick a vagina
Have an 8-4 job


THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST:
There were no reality shows on TV
Be able to eat my own weight in candy and not getting sick afterwards
Not knowing how fucked up the world really is


THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:
An envelope full of plane tickets to all around the world
A time machine
Pandora's Box


THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE:
My childhood
My brother
Horror movies


THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
Surfing sites featuring monsters/demons/anthropomorphic humanoids in adult situations
Comics
Hiking


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
Running over someone with the car
Take a long bath
A Bounty (as in the chocolate)


THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
Writer
Petroleum engineer
Fish farmer


THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY:
China
The Amazonas
USA


THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS:
Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Justin (from The Secret of NIMH)
Dexter (from Dexter's Laboratory)


THREE BOY’S NAMES:
Odd
Roar
Marius


THREE GIRL'S NAMES:
Helena
Judith
Marie


THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Be in outer space
Swim with a whale shark
Get a book or two published

---

There ya go! Cakes for everyone who read it all. Eternal agony and pain to the ones who didn't.

Yanked from  pac

What is your top-10 fictional characters?
Drop the name of the character, show/place they appear - and a little explanation why you like them - also if possible a little picture of what they look like.

Here's mine top-10, in random order:


1: Leland Palmer
Twin Peaks
http://i37.tinypic.com/2wlv57d.jpg
Madman number one, he scared the living daylight out of me as a kid and yet I felt sorry for him. He was a loving father, but because of 'Bob' who possessed him he went insane and his hair turned white over night. A victim of his own weakness who eventually lead to his demise. (But he managed to make up for his sins before dying.)


2: Ash
Evil Dead, Evil Dead II: Dead By Dawn, Army of Darkness
http://i38.tinypic.com/c3kon.gif
If there's one person I want next to me when demons take over the world, then it must be Ash. With a shotgun in his left hand and a chainsaw as his right hand no demons should feel safe. He survives the most hideous terrors and laughs death itself in the face. Either stupid or brave, or maybe both, this man is a real king.


3: The Tall Man
Phantasm 1-4
http://i34.tinypic.com/ek0twn.jpg
A towering, indestructible old man with a razor blade voice who not only kills you, but also transforms you to a deformed midget and sends you to another dimension as a slave. He's unstopable, nothing seems to slow him down. And he have flying silver balls who drains you of blood (and brain mass) if they get you. Very few "ordinary looking" humans have terrified me with such a fascination as The Tall Man have done.


4: Edmund Blackadder
The Black Adder
http://i38.tinypic.com/2v0z585.jpg
Duke Edmund Blackadder was the one who made me love british humor, my childhood wouldn't be the same without him. He's pompous, arrogant, self-loving, presumptuous, pessimistic and cunning. Somehow I can identify myself with many of his traits, and I doubt I'm the only one.


5: Ellen Ripley
Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, Alien Ressurection
http://i33.tinypic.com/2pslnd2.jpg
A perfect example on how an ordinary person can become one of the greatest heroes of all times. She combined her leading skills and 'protective mother' personality in a perfect way. She was how I wanted my mother to be.
What is it with strong, independent women who fights unknown terrors and not loosing it? She deserves all the credits she can get.


6: Captain Picard
Star Trek: The Next Generation
http://i37.tinypic.com/zntnw1.jpg
I wasn't a fan of Star Trek before, but after I started watching The Next Generation I discovered the wonders about Star Trek. Captain Picard is the ultimate captain, and probably the ultimate boyfriend too. He's very self-determined and solemn, and his ship always seemed to encounter all kind of wonderful adventures. (Riker comes as a close second.)


7: Remo Williams
The Destroyer books (and movie)
http://i34.tinypic.com/mqc92.jpg
The books are great, the movie was ok. Remo Williams is a former cop who now is an assasin for the President, he is trained by Chiun, the master of Sinanju. Sinanju is the father of all martial arts and is the most deadly. The duo meets all kind of villains. Androids, vampires, computer chips, war veterans, communists, eccentric millionaires, etc. and they kill them all in the funniest ways. The books have the right amount of humor, gore and excitement.


8a: Harry Mason
Silent Hill
http://i33.tinypic.com/o7vfyd.gif
This was a hard one, I couldn't decide who I liked the most.
Silent Hill really opened my eyes for survival horror together with Resident Evil. Resident Evil was great too, but Silent Hill managed to freak me out more, and the atomsphere were more eerier. During the game I got really close to Harry Mason, he went through one hellish scenario after another, but he didn't give up. No matter what terrors that awaited him, he jumped out in it to save his loved one. He was a character with personality, something that was very rare in the old video games.


8b: James Sunderland
Silent Hill 2
http://i36.tinypic.com/23j279k.jpg
Then you have James Sunderland. A very sympathic person, lost in a mystic town cowered in mist. His search for answers was something I could identify myself with. I really wanted him to succeed. Sometimes I imagine how it would be to be in Silent Hill myself, searching for something that really don't make any sense. You can't avoid loving James, even Pyramidhead couldn't get enough of him.


9: Standley Tweedle
Lexx
http://i33.tinypic.com/1zcd36e.jpg
If you look up the word "Coward" in the dictionary then you will get a picture of him. A former class 4 security guard who now is the captain of the most powerful spaceship in the two universes. His crew consists of a 4000 year old dead assasin; Kai, a half human/half cluster lizard love slave (minus the brain washing); Xev, and a decapitated robot head who got the brain washing Xev shold have; 790. Stanley is a guy who gladly blows up an entire planet instead of fighting the person who lives on it. He's a person you love to hate. Cowardly, stubborn, clingy, clumsy... Somehow he's like a bizarro version of an anti-hero.
He's so very different from other 'heroes' that you can't avoid cheering for him.


10a: Justin
Secret of NIMH
http://i36.tinypic.com/2j46flk.jpg
He was my first fictional crush. At first I thought he was a bad guy, but it didn't take long for me to realize that he was the perfect boyfriend material. His personality was easy to be seduced by, and he didn't look bad either. Like some sort of James Dean alá rodent.


10b: Jeremy
Secret of NIMH
http://i38.tinypic.com/200e1og.jpg
I couldn't leave out Jeremy, the clumsy crow. I'm not sure who I like the most, him or Justin. Jeremy is the cheerful type, the one who everyone loves. The way he was cowered in yarn was so adorable cute and I got really jealous when he ended up with the other crow in the end. I wanted him all for myself.



There.. I'm sure other fictional characters will pop up in my brain and ask why I didn't include them. But when choosing only ten you have to be brutal and let some of them wait for their turn another time.

Yoshi: You are a whore, a tease, a slut, a siren, a cock crawing cum dumpster. The way you flash your backside while riding those motorcycles and whines in sexual pleasure when someone rams you with a shell just makes me wanna punch you in your big, round nose.

I'm playing Mario Kart Wii again, and I have noticed the way Yoshi sits on the bikes. Like he's getting ready to receive a massive, hard wang. Most other drivers sits on their bikes, but Yoshi.. he kneels, lifts his ass up as high as he can, it's almost like porn when you are right behind him.

Did the game developers do this on purpose? Do they want us to have haunting deams where Yoshi sits on a bike, all lubed up and ready to receive some real pounding? Or is it just a coincidence?

Whatever it is, it sure makes me hungry for some tied up Yoshi.

There it was again, déjà vu. It messes with your head, thoughts and feelings from a distant past suddenly starts dominating the brain. And there's nothing you can do, it's like being paralyzed from something within.

Was sitting here and enjoying the silent night, and suddenly I got this explosive feeling of déjà vu, burning it's way into my brain like molted sugar. And it's been more and more of them lately. Does it mean something? Is it a warning sign from a future that hasn't happened yet?

Déjà vécu, déjà senti, and déjà visité are all filling my mind like a dying sun. And I don't know if I like it or not..

I love bakery goods. I really do, specially the sweeter ones. And there's one that I fancy very much; the schoolbun (or "skolebolle", why do some words sound so lame when translated?), it's a sweet bun that are pressed flat with icing sugar and shredded, dried coconut meat on top. And in the middle there's a big splat of thick custard.

One thing about me is that I'm very clumsy, it's a reason for why I refuse to hold babies or expensive things. Sometimes when eating I spill stuff, or get things on me. That happened today. You know what icing sugar resembles when it's smeared on a shirt? It looks like you have ejaculated all over the shirt and haven't bothered to wipe it away, and it have dried and left a very suspicious stain. That is how icing sugar looks like if you are unlucky.

Later I went to the store and when it was my turn to pay I handed the money to the guy sitting in behind the counter. Just as I reaches out I notice a big stain on my shirt sleeve. It was red shirt, and white is very easy detected on dark red.
The guy behind the counter sees it too, then he gives me the "I know what you've been doing" look. I'm not sure if the ones behind me saw it. But yeah, there you have an average day in my life. I was tempted to say "no, it's not sperm, it's icing sugar", but that would just have strengthen his mistakes that is was.. sperm.

Why do people think the worst when they see something that can be moer than one thing? When I see someone who is brown around their mouth I think "he/she have probably eaten some chocolate", I don't stare at them and tries to convince myself that they have eaten shit out of a public toilet. But there are people who are obsessed with thinking the worst out of something where there's several possibilities.


I guess if there's something that is worse than going out in public with icing sugar on your shirt/jeans is going out with the real stuff.

Edgar Allan Poe once said "Sleep... Oh! how I loathe those little slices of death". But why did he loathe them? Was it the feeling of being totally vulnerable when sleeping? Or was it because of the dreams? His brain decomposed a long time ago, so we'll never know. The only thing we can do is guess.

I don't loathe the little slices of death, I love them, even if it means my mind behing haunted by bizarre and wicked terrors. The boundaries between dreams and reality are weaker than we think. Who knows what kind of sinister madness that one day will escape the world with no form where the dreams are living and to our reality? What unspeakable darkness will follow?
What if our brain is nothing more than a receiver, engineered by the lost slaves of a lifeforce long forgotten? And one day a dream will tune it to the right signal which opens a gate to a horror no human have ever experiences? The end of mankind, just because of a dream. Maybe Poe was right? Maybe this was the reason for why he loathed the sleep?

I can't remember the last time I had a real pleasant dream. There are some small scenarios which seems fun, but they are quikcly turned to a struggle for survival when something from the outside finds the way to the scenery. Most of my dreams are either chasing, fighting or trying to find a way out from a trap set by something wicked. But still... I wouldn't trade these dreams with anyone, because they are like some sort of fuel that makes me go through the day without loosing the sanity.

Some of my dream tonight was rather interesting. I was sitting by the shore on an island outside of San Francisco. The island was owned by a corporation that hunted monsters that had escaped laboratories and such.
Suddenly I feel a short pain in my arm. I look down and notices some sort of thin needle sticking out of it. I yank it out and studies it. It smelled faint of apples and had a long string attached to it. Right after a big creature jumps out from the ocean and lands right in front of me. It looked a bit like the monster from The Host but a bit smaller and with exoskeleton instead of thick skin.

I knew that I wouldn't be able to outrun this creature and hiding didn't do any good either because of the needle. The needles that this beast shoots out have a serum inside of them that get injected into the victim's bodies. The cells in the serum fuses with the other cells in the body which makes it sweat more. And in the sweat there's a pheromone created by the serum that tells the creature exactly where the victim is. It can follow the victim for seveal miles with the help of the special pheromone.
So I was screwed. At least I thought I was. I managed to run and hide on top of a bunker with the creature trying to climb on top. Suddenly another creature emerged from the sea. It was much bigger than the one chasing me and I thought they would fight. But instead they just ran away together, probably to mate or something.

Later I was tasked with finding a lost elderly couple. It was snowing and my team arrived a forest. We noticed an abandoned RV (camping car), and as we got closer we noticed two dead Great Danes laying dead in the snow. Next to them was the RV which looked like someone had used a giant can opener on. Inside it was the elderly couple, dead.
The sides of their bodies were torn open and insidere there was giant eggs. Something was using them as a hatching chamber. Suddenly a giant spider like thing came around the corner. It was orange and transparent and had a giant head. One female agent screamed and got the things attention. It then spitted out an orange cloud towards her. This cloud melted off her skin and froze her at the same time. She became all jelly like and she was still alive.

I and the others started to run towards a waiting car. But the landscape had changed so we had to run up a hill formed as a spiral. The spider thing was right behind us, and no matter how many times we shot it the bullets just went right through it like it was made of rubber. Now and then an agent got showered with the orange cloud.
In the end we managed to get to the car, but the agents waiting there were dead. Big larvas was feeding on them, sucking their inner organs out. Then a darkness was spread down on us, blinding us all.


Running, chasing, struggling, terrors you never knew existed. Every dream have it's amounts of it. I wonder if my subconscious tries to tell me something..

No matter how bad a day is, or how much life sucks, there is always one thing that manages to save the day and guide you through it, and that is music. Music is everlasting, it is something you can't touch but still feel. The combination of words, rhythm and volume manages to embrace you in a way you never thought were possible.
And when you think you've heard everything, new stuff pops up like a Jack-in-box and fills you with such joy that all your problems seems like a distant dream of a long forgotten past.

The fun thing with Youtube is that it have everything. Sometimes I turn off my stereo or winamp and instead heads over to Youtube and listen to songs there. Do you have any favorite songs there you listen to? I'm curious what your 10 favorites are for the moment.
Here's mine:


1. Electric Light Orchestra - Yours Truly 2025
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IqfLpLuG40

2. Røyksopp - What Else Is There
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLpkXtM-VI8
I'm not a fan of remixes, but this one I can live with:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYpA2amm-SI

3. McCoys - Come On Let's Go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBfl0ac8WaU

4. Giorgio Moroder - The Chase (from Midnight Express)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijRW48xd0K4

5. Leslie Cheung - A Chinese Ghost Story (Main Theme)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjaP.....eature=related

6. Fabio Frizzi - Voci Dal Nulla
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOFFz13D65w

7. Sue Saad And The Next - Theme from Looker
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yU3rnJADWXA

8. Mortiis - Parasite God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EM-VTCesxHg

9. Devo - Whip It
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xbt30UnzRWw

10. Shakespear's Sister - Hello (Turn Your Radio On)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJcqDdjl5MM



Damn, it's hard to only choose 10 songs. But the limit have to go somewhere, or else the list would have been longer than John Holm's wang. :D

Yanked from  jaleo


1. I'm always nervous meeting people I've never seen before, even if I've chatted with them on the net for several years.

2. I'm obsessive when it comes to follow the rules in the traffic.

3. One of my brothers tried to drown me when I was a child.

4. I love to write and have no problems with finding the right words, but when it comes to talking I often get stuck and have no idea what to say.

5. Serious relationships scares the hell out of me, so I tend to break up in the worst moment possible, which have given me the nickname "the heartbraker" amongst certain people. :(

6. I feel uneasy and out of symmetry in this world and I think the right scenario for me is in a post-apocalyptic world.

7. I didn't like crows before, but in the later years I've found them to be quite handsome and attractive.

8. I'm no 'city-person'. Living in the city in crowded areas stresses me out.'


Hmm.. My mind always get these iron drapes dropped down in front of it when I try to think out meme's like this. And my arms are too weak to lift them to take a peek behind. Why is that? Is it the subconscious that tries to hide the biggest secrets and truths about the body and soul it possesses?


Anywas.. I tag no one, because tagging seems so clingy and desperate. And no one like clingy desperate people.

I was at the pharmacy earlier today to get my precious pills that makes my body good, or bad, it all depends on what the chemicals feel. But anyway.. It was a long line, bored as hell I started to walk around looking at stuff.
Then I found a big box of free samples of gum. With liquorice taste. I took three packs (each pack had 2 gums) and threw them in my mouth.

After a while I started to feel dizzy, my mouth were burning a little and the gum had this strange consistence. I looked closer at the paper and saw the words "n-i-c-o-t-i-n-e".
BRAVO! I who doesn't smoke had just slurped and slafsed on nicotine, and it wasn't a small amount either. I'm sure I one day will eat pure poison and die because I didn't read the entire label.

Spiders fancy my car. Somehow they feel attracted to it and just HAVE to spin their webs on it. But today I noticed a spider had spun it's web inside my car. A beautiful, advanced web stretched from my steering wheel to the seat. And in the middle of it this brownish/yellow spider relaxed with high hopes of catching something edible.

They may be the result of several millions of evolution, they may have evolved to the perfect predator, they may have many advantages other species doesn't have, but they suck at choosing places to set up their web. I guess nobody's perfect.

I felt a little bad when I yanked the spider from it's web and placed it on a leaf on a bush nearby. All that work for nothing, and what if it didn't like the bush I placed it on? Or what if the spider actually wanted a ride? And I just threw it out of the car like it was some sort of insane bag lady that had crawled through a hole in the roof?

Spiders have also made webs in my shoes, glasses, jacket, and inside my breadbox. If I didn't know better I would think they were flirting with me. Hinting that they want to be a part of my life. "Look how pretty your shoe is, I can live between your toes and give you massages all night long."

Spiders... You can't avoid loving them.