Heyo!

Firstly, I just want to wish everyone well and that I hope you're all managing during these trying times.

Okay, so onto the meat of this journal entry, due to still receiving messages/notes on this account (which I no longer use), I can clearly see I've stumbled in making it known that I've moved to new accounts, for that I apologize and wish to correct my error, so if you are indeed interested in my work and even wish to commission/support me at some point. You can find me at the following links:

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/dreamerink/
https://www.deviantart.com/dreamerink
https://twitter.com/PENSforHIRE

Really hope to see a lot of you pop up again. ^^

Wow six years, six freakin' years ago was the last time I posted anything on FA, time certainly does fly, doesn't it? Some of you may have been wondering if I was still drawing, heck after six years you may have been wondering if I was still even alive! Well, I'm very happy to say (especially on that second one) yes to both.

The reason I'm posting again is to let you know I'm back! Back bigger than ever in fact and I'm pretty excited (not to mention a little nervous) to once again share my work after such a long hiatus, but and it's a pretty big butt, it's how I'm sharing the work, you see for the first time ever I'm going to be posting my art to youtube, so you'll be able to watch the entire process, watching every stroke, the good ones as well as the bad, in any case, I just hope you'll enjoy the ride. I'll drop more info throughout the week, so stay tuned!

After six years though, I'm not sure how many of you are still lurking this image site... which leaves me wondering how you're all doing, so please make some noise guys, I really wanna hear from you again after all this time.

Dane

Hey guys!

How ya all doin'? Me? I'm super... thanks for asking :D If you've seen any of my new submissions, (actually that should be "new" as in non of it is truly recent, it's all years old some going back as far as 11 years. yup that's right 11 freakin' years) then you'll know I've been having a rather hard time creating anything lately, seems I blew a fuse or something LOL.

Anyways, this isn't the point of this Journal, it merely lends itself to another subject or at least the reason I'm even bringing it up, you see in order to make up for my absence and total lack of any new doodles whatsoever, I recently started posting oldies, only trouble is one usually only has so many oldies at hand if any, so basically I started running out of pics to post, only thing left to do was to go through the Box... how many of you have your very own Box, you know what it is right, it's that "special" place where pretty much everything you've ever drawn is stored (plz tell me I'm not the only one with a box) I should actually call it the Pandora's Box that would be far more appropriate, simply due to the horrors that lay within... Heck it's like diving into a freakin' treasure cove of crap, seriously... it's like an epic walk of shame, I get shivers of embarrassment running down my spine just rummaging through it on my own, it's that bad.

The main reason I hate to poke through that stuff so much, is that every time I do, I can't help but feel as though I'm going down a notch in my art, kinda like if ya keep watching stupid TV shows, after awhile ya start to feel a bit stupid, you know what I'm talking about right?... right??? XD

So yeah, basically I'm curious to know exactly how many of you have your own neat little art storage system going on? or perhaps ya simply burn em, as I so often wish to do XD Heck any thoughts ya have at all on this would interest me greatly.

Thanks for the time folks, hope to see some feed back from ya ^_^

Dane

I just wanna say how much I really appreciate the support/comments you all have given me, it really helps stacks. I do apologize for not having responded to any of your comments lately, but I've been busy as all hell. See I've just moved recently (and I'm still in the middle of it actually), it's been an absolute nightmare, I've only just been covering costs by the skin of my teeth and workin' like a demon to boot... I guess what I'm asking is that I need you all to bear with me for the time being while I get everything sorted, hopefully it won't be longer than a couple of weeks.

So yeah, I just felt the need to say that as I'd hate for you guys and gals to get even the slightest idea that I simply don't give a damn, when the truth of the matter is that your words make the day just that much easier to get through... Thanks

Today I received a new monitor, no more having to use a TV to color... this is the #%*@ Berries!!! "Go Dane, go Dane it's your birthday... not for real real, just for play play." lol

Before I say anything else about it, I just gotta thank my brother (Shawn) who made things happen/go right so that I could get my grubby little paws on it, I wuv my brother to bitty bits, if it weren't for him I'd have to wait ages before I could get my hands on anything and I really needed it now... and how! Plus this thing came in the nic of time, as I'm about to start coloring a very important pic today... it amazes me how things just seem to fall in place some times, like a really good game of Tetris or something :P lol.

You have no idea how happy I am to have a new monitor, using a TV to color just doesn't work (unless ya got an HD TV or something and even then I wonder) it's an awesome 19 inch "Dell" The picture is just sooo freaking clear, I can't wait to try this baby out and see just how much it'll effect my coloring but I reckon it'll be pretty great, I actually compared pics on the TV to the monitor (I have it set to duel view) and wow there's a huge difference, pics I had colored before (on the TV) that were meant to be bright and colorful just kinda look pale now. So yeah expect to see a change in the colors, hopefully for the best.

Anyways, thanx for reading my journal/dribble and I sure hope the rest of ya are have a marvelous day aswell ^_^

D.R

Before I start saying anything else I just want to say "thank you" to those who gave a damn about what I was going though.. especially those who made the effort to say something to speak out, if it weren't for you and your posts/efforts then truly that tiny little spark left in me would surely have died away ages ago... again thank you.

I haven't been myself for a long time, I felt a drastic change and in essence as a spirit, as a being was beginning to die... I began to close off from everything and everyone.. slowly becoming more solid becoming less and less, hidden within these four walls. It was as though I had lost my purpose and was now loosing myself (I understand if this all doesn't seem real to any of you... I mean I'd never have believed it if I myself wasn't in it) The very thought of drawing made me boil up in such anger... it's like I had no worth/value... as it seemed like no matter what I did, no matter what I tried, it was virtually impossible for me to make a living or even scraps with my work and that's how I was measuring how good I was and my personal worth... I felt so utterly useless it's just not funny, but then (yes it gets better lol) a friend told me exactly how he felt, the impact my work had on his life... in that moment I just couldn't speak, I had to fight so hard to keep back the tears (as I am doing now just writing this), in my friends words I suddenly remembered everything, I remembered why I was doing this in the first place, I remembered my purpose! and it was never for the money, never for the praise... it was and always will be to inspire and help those around me and then just like that... a calm ran over me, over my entire freaking universe and do you know what I did next... what we did? We drew... and for the first time in what seems like an eternity, I absolutely loved it!

I apologize if this has felt long winded to any of you, I didn't want to hold back, I wanted all of you to know exactly how I felt and how I feel now. I said once before that I had "no success story to speak of" now I realize that simply isn't true, I am surrounded by truly special people, I sooo must have done something right in another life to have pulled you in lol. Thank you for listening to these written words of mine.

D.R

.. and that's exactly what it is, I'm kinda loosing my mind here... unable to make cash (but what else is new) in total fear of picking up the pencil again... yeah ya read right, in fear! perhaps I'm scared to see how bad I've become, how much I've fallen or even the reality of it all.. that in actual fact I was never that good to begin with and yet like waves on a beach, I feel the pull.

I just wish to let go... to move on, but I guess when you've done it for the last 20 odd years of your life it's kinda hard (perhaps I just need to pinch myself every time I get the urge... lol) I'm sorry to even bring this up... especially here, just had to vent and as this Gallery is nothing more than a hollow shell, it's kinda the fitting place in a way... like screaming in an empty room :P

In the end maybe I just need a decent nights sleep for a change, it's like I just don't have the energy for anything anymore or even the care... but then again I must care some what, other wise I wouldn't have given it any mind and wouldn't be here now.

I apologize for this mental dribble you can go about your daily business now... sorry to be the bother.

Nah, just kidding I ain't gonna stop browsing FA or nothing, just not gonna be doodling for an indefinite period.

First I'd like to just say thank you all soooo much for all the awesome comments, I mean ya didn't have to take the time to say the things ya did... but ya did. thank you.

There's really no easy way to explain this I guess without sounding like a nut job... but I simply no longer wish to draw anymore, the love for it has pretty much died and as I like to say.. "when the love is gone ya gotta move on" :P but yeah as of late I've been hating my work/art and in the end just feel like a complete hack and perhaps I am. ya know it's funny as a kid I had this idea I would totally make it out there as an artist... no problem, but as I've grown up and so have had a taste of life I find that I have no true art success stories to speak of.... and just don't see the point on wasting the rest of my life working at something that I no longer enjoy, I mean damn... how stupid would I have to be.

Now there are always those who will say, but dude ya gotta do it on the side... but really who wants to work on something in the Little free time they have, especially on something they no longer care for, hell I'd rather be playing games thank you very much :P lol

Now I'm sorry if this all sounds like some sort of make wrong or even a kinda victim rant, 'cause really it ain't and certainly was never meant to be. I just really need to get this all off my chest so I can move on with my life and not feel stuck and held up, plus I wouldn't want to leave the few others (that have enjoyed my stuff/art) in the dark wondering what the hell happened to me and my gallery... it just wouldn't be right.

Again thank you all and take care.

D.R