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I finally made the big time, I think.
Posted 16 years agoNow and then I take a little look at how my art is received and once and a while I come
across something that I never expect. Case in point is that little bit of critic heaven, or hell which is called the Horrors of Fur Affinity on LiveJournal.
http://community.livejournal.com/wt.....a/1216940.html
Who knew??? Honestly who knew that I would get such a reaction from my art, not what I wanted really but hey, anything is better than nothing.
Rather than get bent out of shape at the responses, I think I will answer them here, why bring drama to a place that is loaded with the stuff.
First off, the first reply, this comes from an artist who seem to have a thing about drawing herm elephants. Innocent enough was the response:
"My eyes hurt while trying to read the first one. I think it's a prank to get people's eyes to hurt.
Second one - eh. Rule 63.
Third one - I don't think he knows how to adjust animation timing.
http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/10.....nd101dsbun.gif
I mean, that was like... 30 seconds in animation shop. Though you do see how shitty the art is when you don't notice a whole half second studder between frames."
Hello! I'm no expert at art, if I was than it would be more readable. Trust me, if I wanted to make people eyes bleed, I can come up with something more worse.
Yep, Rule 63 baby! Everyone else can do it, just because my art is not to quality does not mean I can't try.
Oh give me a break here! Listen folks, I have no formal training in art, no do I want to considering what art schools seem to produce, pompous self centered A-Holes who know what art is supposed to be like, free expression!! Is that too hard to grasp? Lack of formal education, is that concept beyond your reach?? If I knew how to adjust the timing I would but now that I know, perhaps in the future my animations will be much smoother, until then, if you don't like it, at least have the balls, of use some one's else's to tell me about it rather than rant about it on some drama soaked journal.
Oh, I like Toucan sammette's reply:
"The dude's 49
I dunno why that makes me feel so depressed :("
I'm 50, get it right. Gees and crackers, just because I'm some old fart, folks expect me to have my art rennasonse when I was about 19 or 20. Frankly you should be depressed, I would wager when this character reaches 50, they would be some dried up old prune who pines for the old days when their art was so hot crap that folks would line up, just for some stylized doodle or two.
Now this person has it almost right, but alas, the concept flew over their head, hovered a few moments shouting out obscenities and flew off to find someone more worthy:
"I'm not really one who condones laughing at other people's artwork, since 99.9% of us ALL sucked horribly when we first started... but god damn, this community entertained me tonight. LOL
Seriously... why is Roo fucking Kanga? :( That's beyond warping my childhood.
And people wonder why I don't draw fetishes. :/ Furry seriously scares the shit out of me sometimes. *goes to look at more posts*
Maybe I'll join this group. X3"
You see folks, this is what I have to deal with, people who's minds are just as damaged as mind to hold their childhood memories above perversion. I mean, for crying out loud, it is only art, it is not like I got them strapped to a chair, their eyes taped open and force feeding them scenes of Mrs. Brisby getting it on with the great owl. It comes to show you that what happened in the late 90's is happening here today, all over again. Oh please join the horrors of FA, it only means this person will be one more I can hold in contempt of art.
The next two are just gems, just gems:
"Have you read his journal> WAAAY too much info!"
This coming from a person who uses a jackass as an icon.
Maybe I should put a warning and a disclaimer on my journals begging the reader to take what is written for what it is worth and with a grain of salt. I tell you, 20somethings Bah!
The next one, I know the name so I am surprised this person chimed in:
"His journal was amusing. Thinking of going fill tilt gay because his relationship isn't working. Yeah that'll really solve it.
The first picture was a bit odd to my eyes. Thing is, I remember doing a piece like that, minus the porn and Bullwinkle, and I thought it looked good XD I had a thing for optical illusions then, but even that on is a bit of an ache."
Life is not all flowers and sunshine bucko! I guess he/she/it says that to all the journals they read. I write stuff in my journals for a reason, to get them off my chest so I won't consider letting it boil up inside to a point where I go out, find a tower somewhere and start helping nature by culling the fools.
Hey, so I made a mistake in the pattern, my bad, and now I'm paying for it, but it would have been nice to be told about this in the comments, that is what it is there for. I don't seem to recall FA contracting out to the Horrors of FA for critiques. Plus the thumbnails in the front page are color coded, red and blue means porn in one shape or another, if you don't like porn, don't click on it, if you like porn but not done badly, don't click on it, if you want me to improve my porn, comment on it, maybe I will get more lessons and improve, just bitching about it on LJ is not helping any!
Sheeh! and folks wonder why I'm such a bitter old man. But at least I can say I am bigger than those who laugh and jeer at my art, I can laugh at myself and feel better about it the next day, can the same be said for the commenters. I am so tempting to log on to LJ and add my comments to theirs, I bet that would be a surprise but I suspect that a reply would prompt more drama and it seems that WTF_FA lives on it, why give them the satisfaction. I always say if you can't dazzle them, make them pay for their inattention. If the only notice from the high and mighty is a brief write-up in WTF_FA, than maybe that is what I should shoot for, at least I can say "I only blame society."
Anyway, I'm done, now back to work, at this moment I'm doing a sequel to one of the pieces featured, I hope they like it, I may even toss in some more eye bleeding backgrounds, just to piss them off.
Cheers.
across something that I never expect. Case in point is that little bit of critic heaven, or hell which is called the Horrors of Fur Affinity on LiveJournal.
http://community.livejournal.com/wt.....a/1216940.html
Who knew??? Honestly who knew that I would get such a reaction from my art, not what I wanted really but hey, anything is better than nothing.
Rather than get bent out of shape at the responses, I think I will answer them here, why bring drama to a place that is loaded with the stuff.
First off, the first reply, this comes from an artist who seem to have a thing about drawing herm elephants. Innocent enough was the response:
"My eyes hurt while trying to read the first one. I think it's a prank to get people's eyes to hurt.
Second one - eh. Rule 63.
Third one - I don't think he knows how to adjust animation timing.
http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/10.....nd101dsbun.gif
I mean, that was like... 30 seconds in animation shop. Though you do see how shitty the art is when you don't notice a whole half second studder between frames."
Hello! I'm no expert at art, if I was than it would be more readable. Trust me, if I wanted to make people eyes bleed, I can come up with something more worse.
Yep, Rule 63 baby! Everyone else can do it, just because my art is not to quality does not mean I can't try.
Oh give me a break here! Listen folks, I have no formal training in art, no do I want to considering what art schools seem to produce, pompous self centered A-Holes who know what art is supposed to be like, free expression!! Is that too hard to grasp? Lack of formal education, is that concept beyond your reach?? If I knew how to adjust the timing I would but now that I know, perhaps in the future my animations will be much smoother, until then, if you don't like it, at least have the balls, of use some one's else's to tell me about it rather than rant about it on some drama soaked journal.
Oh, I like Toucan sammette's reply:
"The dude's 49
I dunno why that makes me feel so depressed :("
I'm 50, get it right. Gees and crackers, just because I'm some old fart, folks expect me to have my art rennasonse when I was about 19 or 20. Frankly you should be depressed, I would wager when this character reaches 50, they would be some dried up old prune who pines for the old days when their art was so hot crap that folks would line up, just for some stylized doodle or two.
Now this person has it almost right, but alas, the concept flew over their head, hovered a few moments shouting out obscenities and flew off to find someone more worthy:
"I'm not really one who condones laughing at other people's artwork, since 99.9% of us ALL sucked horribly when we first started... but god damn, this community entertained me tonight. LOL
Seriously... why is Roo fucking Kanga? :( That's beyond warping my childhood.
And people wonder why I don't draw fetishes. :/ Furry seriously scares the shit out of me sometimes. *goes to look at more posts*
Maybe I'll join this group. X3"
You see folks, this is what I have to deal with, people who's minds are just as damaged as mind to hold their childhood memories above perversion. I mean, for crying out loud, it is only art, it is not like I got them strapped to a chair, their eyes taped open and force feeding them scenes of Mrs. Brisby getting it on with the great owl. It comes to show you that what happened in the late 90's is happening here today, all over again. Oh please join the horrors of FA, it only means this person will be one more I can hold in contempt of art.
The next two are just gems, just gems:
"Have you read his journal> WAAAY too much info!"
This coming from a person who uses a jackass as an icon.
Maybe I should put a warning and a disclaimer on my journals begging the reader to take what is written for what it is worth and with a grain of salt. I tell you, 20somethings Bah!
The next one, I know the name so I am surprised this person chimed in:
"His journal was amusing. Thinking of going fill tilt gay because his relationship isn't working. Yeah that'll really solve it.
The first picture was a bit odd to my eyes. Thing is, I remember doing a piece like that, minus the porn and Bullwinkle, and I thought it looked good XD I had a thing for optical illusions then, but even that on is a bit of an ache."
Life is not all flowers and sunshine bucko! I guess he/she/it says that to all the journals they read. I write stuff in my journals for a reason, to get them off my chest so I won't consider letting it boil up inside to a point where I go out, find a tower somewhere and start helping nature by culling the fools.
Hey, so I made a mistake in the pattern, my bad, and now I'm paying for it, but it would have been nice to be told about this in the comments, that is what it is there for. I don't seem to recall FA contracting out to the Horrors of FA for critiques. Plus the thumbnails in the front page are color coded, red and blue means porn in one shape or another, if you don't like porn, don't click on it, if you like porn but not done badly, don't click on it, if you want me to improve my porn, comment on it, maybe I will get more lessons and improve, just bitching about it on LJ is not helping any!
Sheeh! and folks wonder why I'm such a bitter old man. But at least I can say I am bigger than those who laugh and jeer at my art, I can laugh at myself and feel better about it the next day, can the same be said for the commenters. I am so tempting to log on to LJ and add my comments to theirs, I bet that would be a surprise but I suspect that a reply would prompt more drama and it seems that WTF_FA lives on it, why give them the satisfaction. I always say if you can't dazzle them, make them pay for their inattention. If the only notice from the high and mighty is a brief write-up in WTF_FA, than maybe that is what I should shoot for, at least I can say "I only blame society."
Anyway, I'm done, now back to work, at this moment I'm doing a sequel to one of the pieces featured, I hope they like it, I may even toss in some more eye bleeding backgrounds, just to piss them off.
Cheers.
The Fursona Meme: Oh God!!!
Posted 16 years agoI don't know how I got talked into doing this but I figured I better get it done and over with.
Stolen from
speckled-paws So blame him for this.
For the sake of simplicity, I will call upon the one fursona that best represent me the most. I bring to you the wit and wisdom
of Dsan Tsan, chowish mage of Mentir.
1 – Do you and your "fursona" look alike? Well, we both wear glasses, but he has a purple tounge, I don't.
2 – Do you and your "fursona" share attires? Nope. Dsan prefers to wear traditional chowish dress which consists of a tunic, breeches naturally to cover over his fluffy legs. I on the other hand wear a more modern dress.
3 – Do you share the same sexuality as your fursona? Yep, we're both sexually confused. The chow gets more action than I do while I usually get none.
4 – If you hadn’t already made your fursona look like you, if you would to change how he/she looked like to make him/her look more like you, how would you think he/she would look like? Frankly I would not change a thing about Dsan, he looks good as he is. Besides, Being a chow-chow, he has that appeal about him, if I made him look more like me, that appeal will vanish, only to be replaced by something so horrible, that it would curdle milk from 1000 miles away.
5 – Did you work hard to develop your fursona? What is the (brief) history of your fursona? It did not take much work to develop Dsan, He came about as I discovered the furry genre in the 90's. Before him, it was this human representations of myself. To be simple, Dsan Tsan was orginally a fox, but cursed from birth to be a shapeshifter. This came about because back in the 90's I discovered there was quite a glut of foxes in the fandom.
6 – Do you and your fursona share relationship status? In a sense, yes. I'm single with a Girlfriend who wants nothing more but to own me. Dsan Tsan is single because of his cursed nature, never to settle down with just one mate and too damaged to be serious.
7 – Do you find yourself jealous or upset if you get paired with someone you don’t like or your partner does? Hard to say. My current GF makes my life miserable, yet I can't leave her, so being upset is kinda moot. As for Dsan, there is a certain unicorn maid who wants him so bad, yet he is more than willing to be hers.
8 – How would you like your character not to be used? Considering how much he has gone through, I don't think there is anything else you could do to the chow which he has not already experienced already. To tell you the truth, only a few folks ever drawn the chow besides myself and I highly doubt anyone would draw him doing stuff against his will.
9 – What’s your fursona’s specialty? Art and magic, although he does professes that he is a jack of all trades but a master of none.
10 – At a score of 1-10 how much are you and your fursona alike? about a 5 for both. There are some things Dsan has done that I have yet to have done and there are things that I have done that Dsan can never do.
There, it is done and may dog have mercy on my shattered soul.
Stolen from
speckled-paws So blame him for this. For the sake of simplicity, I will call upon the one fursona that best represent me the most. I bring to you the wit and wisdom
of Dsan Tsan, chowish mage of Mentir.
1 – Do you and your "fursona" look alike? Well, we both wear glasses, but he has a purple tounge, I don't.
2 – Do you and your "fursona" share attires? Nope. Dsan prefers to wear traditional chowish dress which consists of a tunic, breeches naturally to cover over his fluffy legs. I on the other hand wear a more modern dress.
3 – Do you share the same sexuality as your fursona? Yep, we're both sexually confused. The chow gets more action than I do while I usually get none.
4 – If you hadn’t already made your fursona look like you, if you would to change how he/she looked like to make him/her look more like you, how would you think he/she would look like? Frankly I would not change a thing about Dsan, he looks good as he is. Besides, Being a chow-chow, he has that appeal about him, if I made him look more like me, that appeal will vanish, only to be replaced by something so horrible, that it would curdle milk from 1000 miles away.
5 – Did you work hard to develop your fursona? What is the (brief) history of your fursona? It did not take much work to develop Dsan, He came about as I discovered the furry genre in the 90's. Before him, it was this human representations of myself. To be simple, Dsan Tsan was orginally a fox, but cursed from birth to be a shapeshifter. This came about because back in the 90's I discovered there was quite a glut of foxes in the fandom.
6 – Do you and your fursona share relationship status? In a sense, yes. I'm single with a Girlfriend who wants nothing more but to own me. Dsan Tsan is single because of his cursed nature, never to settle down with just one mate and too damaged to be serious.
7 – Do you find yourself jealous or upset if you get paired with someone you don’t like or your partner does? Hard to say. My current GF makes my life miserable, yet I can't leave her, so being upset is kinda moot. As for Dsan, there is a certain unicorn maid who wants him so bad, yet he is more than willing to be hers.
8 – How would you like your character not to be used? Considering how much he has gone through, I don't think there is anything else you could do to the chow which he has not already experienced already. To tell you the truth, only a few folks ever drawn the chow besides myself and I highly doubt anyone would draw him doing stuff against his will.
9 – What’s your fursona’s specialty? Art and magic, although he does professes that he is a jack of all trades but a master of none.
10 – At a score of 1-10 how much are you and your fursona alike? about a 5 for both. There are some things Dsan has done that I have yet to have done and there are things that I have done that Dsan can never do.
There, it is done and may dog have mercy on my shattered soul.
The trash compactor cometh.
Posted 16 years agoNo fears, just pushing done the last journal so I can
see my page better.
see my page better.
The Character Meme! or the creations strike back.
Posted 16 years agoOh snap, I got tagged!
Lovely swiped from
dmfalk (Woohoo! nice panties Amy!)
> 1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
> 2. Make them answer the following questions.
> 3. Then tag three people or more.
> 4. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself.
Oh god! there are a mulitude of characters at Roll Yer Own Graphics, but I guess I can let three handle the questions. Two were more than willing
to go for this task, the third more less willing and timid. Out of the two who were willing, one stated she wanted to answer the questions and
if anyone were to get in her way, she would eat them.
> My Characters:
Dsan Tsan
Tambra Sweetpine
Dan Evans
> Who/What are you?
Dsan Tsan: I am Dsan Tsan, formerly Yardie Greenthickets. By all appearances I am a chow-chow from Mengtir but actually I'm a cursed fox.
I am an artist, a mage, and bunny addict.
Tambra Sweetpine: Hi, I'm Tambra Sweetpine. It is hard to say what I am, my mother was a deer and my father was a fox, I came into the world because
they both drank from the pool of twisted waters. That would make me a hybrid, a vixen-doe which I prefer to be called. I'm a quad which means
I'm four legged. I'm also carnivorous but I'm tame. I only eat cooked meat, (and maybe you giggle giggle.)
Dan Evans: Hello all, My name is Daniel Evans. You can tell by my name that I am 100% Earthspace human from Earth of course. By all standards I am
just your run of the mill human, but one with a secret. I know how to get to that place beyond earth where furs live, I've lived there myself. I have
a wife who happens to be a Wildhare and a daughter who is a mixture of both but she looks more Wildhare than human. Yes, I've been a naughty human.
> How old are you?
Dsan Tsan: In dog years? I'm ancient but I appear 50ish. Due to my curse I age slowly, although I can appear younger, sometimes I sure don't feel it.
Tambra Sweetpine: By all rights I should be 25, but being a hybrid my age can't really be determined. So I usually go by 20 and leave it at that.
Dan Evans: Oh my, well, I can't lie, I'm 50, but living in Otherspace, has done wonders to me, I can't seem to remember the last time I woke up
with aching bones and such, and my grey hairs hardly appears, I guess it must be the fact that I got a light brown Wildhare keeping me in shape.
> Do you like yaoi or yuri?
Dsan Tsan: Well, you can say I like Yuri, but I try to keep that fact to myself, you don't know how many prudes out there would want to
slap this doggie behind bars.
Tambra Sweetpine: If you must know the truth, as a model it is in part of my contract to have an interest in Yaoi, but only for professional reasons.
I do on a personal level prefer Yuri, being what I am, it is only natural, or supernatural, hard to tell sometimes.
Dan Evans: I'm sorry, I have to decline on answering that question, or else I might wind up with dynamite down my pants.
> Are you a boy or a girl?
Dsan Tsan: I'm a male, too old to be a boy/puppy.
Tambra Sweetpine: I'm all girl here. (Turns around, and sweeps her tail to one side.) See?
Dan Evans: Oh I am just a guy, an old guy.
> Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Dsan Tsan: From my original family, no I am the only tod born. My extended family the Tsans, I have three brothers and one sister and a
sister like family retainer who sometimes feels she is more than a sister to me, if you get my drift.
Tambra Sweetpine: I am an only child. It would have been nice if I had brothers and sisters but I am unique in the world. (sigh)
Dan Evans: I have a brother Bill who has no knowledge that I associate with furs. I have a sister Margret who knows a little about
my dual life since she met my wife in her human form a few years before I met her and suspected she was a Wildhare.
> Who's your mate/spouse?
Dsan Tsan: Alas I have no mates or spouses, although I have many who are more than willing, I have not decided because I do not
know if I should subject them to the kind of life I live, ask anyone who has a mage for a mate, sometimes life can be hell, or heaven depending
on who the magics flow.
Tambra Sweetpine: No mate or spouse, but I do chase the chow sometimes. (Points to Dsan Tsan and licks her chops.) But I also chases girls.
Dan Evans: My wife, Peaches No last name Evans. She's a Wildhare, a species of hare in Otherspace known for being practical jokers, and they have
ungodly power to back that up. A find example of Wildhares is the Pooka in the movie Harvey. Harvey was actually a Wildhare from Otherspace.
> Do you have any kids?
Dsan Tsan: There are rumors that I do have a son from a warrior skunkette, aside from that I have an adopted daughter named Haley Bopp, a hedgehog
Tambra Sweetpine: Sorry, no little ones. The doctors say that because my mother drank from the pool of twisted water I can only bare children from
another that drank from the same pool. Sad to say I destroyed that pool some time ago without thinking. The only other way I can have children is
through magic. (Looks over at the chow.)
Dan Evans: I have a daughter named Sunshine, an wonderful child and also a model for my company.
> What's your favorite food?
Dsan Tsan: Well, because of my cursed nature, I am more or less the ultimate omnivore. Although I prefer canine foods from Earthspace, I am picky
when it comes to how it is prepared. With my carnivorous roots, I can eat meat but I pefer to use the Bio-Vat, it is better than having another
suffer for my meal.
Tambra Sweetpine: When I was feral, it was whatever you caught, you ate. That life is behind me now so I am a Bio-Vat user. I do hunt live game now
and then but only eat it if I ask it a question and it does not answer back. (Yes I do wait to see if it answers back, I may be carnivorous, but I am
not heartless.)
Dan Evans: I was brought up a meat and potatoes person and I really don't have any favorites. Since living in Otherspace, I do partake in exotic
foods, but I try to stray away from stereotypical foods of my race, (Fried Chicken, Watermelon, Chittlins.) I'm a bit self conscience of my race.
Since I am married to a Wildhare, I try not to eat meat in her presence, and in the presence of my daughter, and she understands, besides, she is
a great cook in her own right.
> Have you ever killed anyone?
Dsan Tsan: There has been times which I killed, but only in self defense. Violence sickens me and I will only use it as a last resort and even that
killing would be the final resort.
Tambra Sweetpine: Er, what is your definition of killing anyone? If you mean sentient beings, no, I would try to use my wits first before killing
anyone and because of what I am, I warn them in advance. I'm quite hard to kill and quite menacing.
Dan Evans: No, but I have come close a few times, but I've stopped myself and told them, leaving them alive is the human thing to do.
> What kind of music do you like?
Dsan Tsan: Because of my cursed nature, my tastes in music is skewed. My canid nature loves sounds that would make me howl for hours but
the other natures inside me sometimes protests. What calms them all are songs sung by bunnies, I just love their voices and how they
make music.
Tambra Sweetpine: Where I come from, music is rare. When I came to the more civilized areas of the spheres, I found my tastes in music
go from light jazz to trance. Go figure I love dance music, but with four feet, how can one dance?
Dan Evans: My musical tastes is also a mixed bag. From rock, to pop, er some pop, to trance but I don't really like rap!
> What do you do to relax?
Dsan Tsan: Can't really relax when you are an artist and a mage, but I manage. I try to calm my mind by reading, viewing the art of others
and being with a bunny helps.
Tambra Sweetpine: After a day of modeling, I take a run through the meadows, full blown all out run. When the opportunity presents itself, I do play
with the local village children, their parents trust me. Also relaxing with someone takes the edge off anything.
Dan Evans: For me, it's an evening cuddling with my Wildhare. No, I don't get any rest, but heck, she is one hell of a relaxation therapist.
> Do you constantly get hurt?
Dsan Tsan: Trust me, as a mage, there are many levels of pain. Sometimes casting spells are a pain, my shapeshifing gets painful sometimes.
as active as I am, I'm surprised I am not one big body cast.
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I get the normal cuts and scrapes associated with being a quad, but I heal quickly. Because of my wild nature, my mental
health is a bit more frail than my physical health.
Dan Evans: Yep, I get banged up alot. When you have to deal with furs, sometimes it does involve a bit of roughhousing, being breaking up a fight
or having to enforce your authority like being an alpha male, sometimes pain is part of the business.
> Do you like your creator?
Dsan Tsan: Yes I like him. There is something about him that makes me feel that he is a part of me. Although sometimes we disagree on things,
we both share a common love, Bunnies!
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I just love him. There are times when I dream about him being with me, but I know that is not possible, if it was, I would
do anything for him.
Dan Evans: Well, he seems to be an ok guy, has some strange ideas for sure, but I am sure if I was in his place, I would do the same thing. Hey!
He kinda looks like me, fancy that.
> Whats your favorite season?
Dsan Tsan: I never pictured myself to be an autumn fur, but there I am, enjoying the changing of the leaves and the shifting of the air from
warm to cold. Could be my shapeshifting nature in me.
Tambra Sweetpine: I'm a spring doe. The time of renewal of life, the brisk air kissed with life giving rain.
Dan Evans: Hell, who don't like summer! Nothing says it all then going out in shorts to the beach, digging the waves and the sun. Of course
on Gardina, the beach there is clothing optional.
> Have you ever had sex?
Dsan Tsan: Oh that is a silly question, of course I have, well, not that much, but honestly I have, er you don't believe me, do you?
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I have quite a few lovers and enjoyed them. And please, don't pick on the chow like that, he had sex with me and
it was wonderful! (Bares fangs.)
Dan Evans: Hello, Wildhare wife, I have a daughter, it's not like I dropped a coin in a vending machine and boom! my daughter dropped out.
> Have you been violated/molested/raped before?
Dsan Tsan: Well, you see, there was this unicorn who had a thing for me when I was young. She more or less forced herself onto me and I don't know,
I guess I have never been the same since.
Tambra Sweetpine: Thankfully no. Not that I'm the molestable type, I guess when you have fangs and razor sharp hooves like I do, it says "Touch
me and you will get eaten.
Dan Evans: Uh, hmmm, sorry, I really do not wish to discuss it.
> Who's your best friend?
Dsan Tsan: Man, I have more friends than I can count, but I am surprised they stuck with me so long since I tend to push them away sometimes. One
creature I consider a close friends is a certain mousie with a bow on her tail, a big bow. Romantic friends, no, I could never do that, close friends
yes but I don't know if she feels the same.
Tambra Sweetpine: My circle of friends varies, the ones who stuck close to me trust me. Since I became civilized, I have gained many friends.
Dan Evans: Oh I have friends, I am surprised that I have so many, both on Earth and OtherSpace.
> Got a crush?
Dsan Tsan: That is hard to say, I love bunnies, so any bunny is consider crush worthy. There are a few within the artist community I do have crushes over
but I think they exists on different worlds from me and I have no way to let them know how I feel.
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh yes, oh yes, I have a crush on that hunk of chow over there. I know he feels something for me but I do respect his feelings towards
others, so I will wait, and if a few happen to vanish, well don't look at me if they happen to fall into the jaws of a jealous type. (Sly grin)
Dan Evans: Kinda a moot point for me being married and all that. Once in a while a sweet thing do catch my eye, after all, I run an art company, I love
art and I love what I see.
> Do you like hugs/kisses/cuddles/etc.?
Dsan Tsan: Who would not like hugs and such? There is nothing more refreshing to me than getting glomped by a bunny or two, or a cute squirrel, or a cute mouse, or even deer does, or a certain hybrid.
Tambra Sweetpine: A creature such as myself would love to give hugs and cuddles, but I can't physically. I love to receive them and I can sorta give them using my TK talent, but it sometimes does not feel the same. For me, a lick is the same as a kiss yet I feel sad when I try to kiss back, you know, muzzle and all.
Dan Evans: Aside from doing that for my Wildhare honey, I do enjoy a good hug from a fur. I find it intriguing to hug and cuddle a furry body. I guess it
is the human in me.
> Are you gay?
Dsan Tsan: I do have tendencies, more like you and call it a defense mechnism that keeps me sane in a way.
Tambra Sweetpine: I think of myself as Bi really. I can exist in the presense of females but quite a long time, sometimes I do have a longing
for a male in my life.
Dan Evans: I consider myself Hetro but living around furs, I did experiment a little.
> Play any sports or...anything?
Dsan Tsan: I am not very sports like, of course I do enjoy canine sports now and then, force of habit I guess.
Tambra Sweetpine: I love to run, aside from that, there are not too many sports I can partake in.
Dan Evans: I love baseball.
> If you had a chance to kill your creator would you do it?
Dsan Tsan: Of course not, if anything I am loyal to him, he gave me life, even though sometimes I may not agree with him on some things,
why kill someone who loves bunnies as much as I do?
Tambra Sweetpine: Hell no! Even if was starving and he offered himself up as a meal to me, I'd rather die on the spot than to do any harm
to him!!!
Dan Evans: The bum! Killing him is much too good for him, just kidding, I would not kill him, after all, it would be killing a part of me
and frankly I rather have all my parts there.
* * *
Who gets tagged? Lately since my journals have been nothing more but a massive Emo fest, I won't bother tagging anyone, but if anyone
is willing to do this meme and say they swiped it from me, by all means, go for it.
Lovely swiped from
dmfalk (Woohoo! nice panties Amy!)> 1. Choose a few of your own characters. Five at the most.
> 2. Make them answer the following questions.
> 3. Then tag three people or more.
> 4. Feel free to go ahead and add some questions yourself.
Oh god! there are a mulitude of characters at Roll Yer Own Graphics, but I guess I can let three handle the questions. Two were more than willing
to go for this task, the third more less willing and timid. Out of the two who were willing, one stated she wanted to answer the questions and
if anyone were to get in her way, she would eat them.
> My Characters:
Dsan Tsan
Tambra Sweetpine
Dan Evans
> Who/What are you?
Dsan Tsan: I am Dsan Tsan, formerly Yardie Greenthickets. By all appearances I am a chow-chow from Mengtir but actually I'm a cursed fox.
I am an artist, a mage, and bunny addict.
Tambra Sweetpine: Hi, I'm Tambra Sweetpine. It is hard to say what I am, my mother was a deer and my father was a fox, I came into the world because
they both drank from the pool of twisted waters. That would make me a hybrid, a vixen-doe which I prefer to be called. I'm a quad which means
I'm four legged. I'm also carnivorous but I'm tame. I only eat cooked meat, (and maybe you giggle giggle.)
Dan Evans: Hello all, My name is Daniel Evans. You can tell by my name that I am 100% Earthspace human from Earth of course. By all standards I am
just your run of the mill human, but one with a secret. I know how to get to that place beyond earth where furs live, I've lived there myself. I have
a wife who happens to be a Wildhare and a daughter who is a mixture of both but she looks more Wildhare than human. Yes, I've been a naughty human.
> How old are you?
Dsan Tsan: In dog years? I'm ancient but I appear 50ish. Due to my curse I age slowly, although I can appear younger, sometimes I sure don't feel it.
Tambra Sweetpine: By all rights I should be 25, but being a hybrid my age can't really be determined. So I usually go by 20 and leave it at that.
Dan Evans: Oh my, well, I can't lie, I'm 50, but living in Otherspace, has done wonders to me, I can't seem to remember the last time I woke up
with aching bones and such, and my grey hairs hardly appears, I guess it must be the fact that I got a light brown Wildhare keeping me in shape.
> Do you like yaoi or yuri?
Dsan Tsan: Well, you can say I like Yuri, but I try to keep that fact to myself, you don't know how many prudes out there would want to
slap this doggie behind bars.
Tambra Sweetpine: If you must know the truth, as a model it is in part of my contract to have an interest in Yaoi, but only for professional reasons.
I do on a personal level prefer Yuri, being what I am, it is only natural, or supernatural, hard to tell sometimes.
Dan Evans: I'm sorry, I have to decline on answering that question, or else I might wind up with dynamite down my pants.
> Are you a boy or a girl?
Dsan Tsan: I'm a male, too old to be a boy/puppy.
Tambra Sweetpine: I'm all girl here. (Turns around, and sweeps her tail to one side.) See?
Dan Evans: Oh I am just a guy, an old guy.
> Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Dsan Tsan: From my original family, no I am the only tod born. My extended family the Tsans, I have three brothers and one sister and a
sister like family retainer who sometimes feels she is more than a sister to me, if you get my drift.
Tambra Sweetpine: I am an only child. It would have been nice if I had brothers and sisters but I am unique in the world. (sigh)
Dan Evans: I have a brother Bill who has no knowledge that I associate with furs. I have a sister Margret who knows a little about
my dual life since she met my wife in her human form a few years before I met her and suspected she was a Wildhare.
> Who's your mate/spouse?
Dsan Tsan: Alas I have no mates or spouses, although I have many who are more than willing, I have not decided because I do not
know if I should subject them to the kind of life I live, ask anyone who has a mage for a mate, sometimes life can be hell, or heaven depending
on who the magics flow.
Tambra Sweetpine: No mate or spouse, but I do chase the chow sometimes. (Points to Dsan Tsan and licks her chops.) But I also chases girls.
Dan Evans: My wife, Peaches No last name Evans. She's a Wildhare, a species of hare in Otherspace known for being practical jokers, and they have
ungodly power to back that up. A find example of Wildhares is the Pooka in the movie Harvey. Harvey was actually a Wildhare from Otherspace.
> Do you have any kids?
Dsan Tsan: There are rumors that I do have a son from a warrior skunkette, aside from that I have an adopted daughter named Haley Bopp, a hedgehog
Tambra Sweetpine: Sorry, no little ones. The doctors say that because my mother drank from the pool of twisted water I can only bare children from
another that drank from the same pool. Sad to say I destroyed that pool some time ago without thinking. The only other way I can have children is
through magic. (Looks over at the chow.)
Dan Evans: I have a daughter named Sunshine, an wonderful child and also a model for my company.
> What's your favorite food?
Dsan Tsan: Well, because of my cursed nature, I am more or less the ultimate omnivore. Although I prefer canine foods from Earthspace, I am picky
when it comes to how it is prepared. With my carnivorous roots, I can eat meat but I pefer to use the Bio-Vat, it is better than having another
suffer for my meal.
Tambra Sweetpine: When I was feral, it was whatever you caught, you ate. That life is behind me now so I am a Bio-Vat user. I do hunt live game now
and then but only eat it if I ask it a question and it does not answer back. (Yes I do wait to see if it answers back, I may be carnivorous, but I am
not heartless.)
Dan Evans: I was brought up a meat and potatoes person and I really don't have any favorites. Since living in Otherspace, I do partake in exotic
foods, but I try to stray away from stereotypical foods of my race, (Fried Chicken, Watermelon, Chittlins.) I'm a bit self conscience of my race.
Since I am married to a Wildhare, I try not to eat meat in her presence, and in the presence of my daughter, and she understands, besides, she is
a great cook in her own right.
> Have you ever killed anyone?
Dsan Tsan: There has been times which I killed, but only in self defense. Violence sickens me and I will only use it as a last resort and even that
killing would be the final resort.
Tambra Sweetpine: Er, what is your definition of killing anyone? If you mean sentient beings, no, I would try to use my wits first before killing
anyone and because of what I am, I warn them in advance. I'm quite hard to kill and quite menacing.
Dan Evans: No, but I have come close a few times, but I've stopped myself and told them, leaving them alive is the human thing to do.
> What kind of music do you like?
Dsan Tsan: Because of my cursed nature, my tastes in music is skewed. My canid nature loves sounds that would make me howl for hours but
the other natures inside me sometimes protests. What calms them all are songs sung by bunnies, I just love their voices and how they
make music.
Tambra Sweetpine: Where I come from, music is rare. When I came to the more civilized areas of the spheres, I found my tastes in music
go from light jazz to trance. Go figure I love dance music, but with four feet, how can one dance?
Dan Evans: My musical tastes is also a mixed bag. From rock, to pop, er some pop, to trance but I don't really like rap!
> What do you do to relax?
Dsan Tsan: Can't really relax when you are an artist and a mage, but I manage. I try to calm my mind by reading, viewing the art of others
and being with a bunny helps.
Tambra Sweetpine: After a day of modeling, I take a run through the meadows, full blown all out run. When the opportunity presents itself, I do play
with the local village children, their parents trust me. Also relaxing with someone takes the edge off anything.
Dan Evans: For me, it's an evening cuddling with my Wildhare. No, I don't get any rest, but heck, she is one hell of a relaxation therapist.
> Do you constantly get hurt?
Dsan Tsan: Trust me, as a mage, there are many levels of pain. Sometimes casting spells are a pain, my shapeshifing gets painful sometimes.
as active as I am, I'm surprised I am not one big body cast.
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I get the normal cuts and scrapes associated with being a quad, but I heal quickly. Because of my wild nature, my mental
health is a bit more frail than my physical health.
Dan Evans: Yep, I get banged up alot. When you have to deal with furs, sometimes it does involve a bit of roughhousing, being breaking up a fight
or having to enforce your authority like being an alpha male, sometimes pain is part of the business.
> Do you like your creator?
Dsan Tsan: Yes I like him. There is something about him that makes me feel that he is a part of me. Although sometimes we disagree on things,
we both share a common love, Bunnies!
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I just love him. There are times when I dream about him being with me, but I know that is not possible, if it was, I would
do anything for him.
Dan Evans: Well, he seems to be an ok guy, has some strange ideas for sure, but I am sure if I was in his place, I would do the same thing. Hey!
He kinda looks like me, fancy that.
> Whats your favorite season?
Dsan Tsan: I never pictured myself to be an autumn fur, but there I am, enjoying the changing of the leaves and the shifting of the air from
warm to cold. Could be my shapeshifting nature in me.
Tambra Sweetpine: I'm a spring doe. The time of renewal of life, the brisk air kissed with life giving rain.
Dan Evans: Hell, who don't like summer! Nothing says it all then going out in shorts to the beach, digging the waves and the sun. Of course
on Gardina, the beach there is clothing optional.
> Have you ever had sex?
Dsan Tsan: Oh that is a silly question, of course I have, well, not that much, but honestly I have, er you don't believe me, do you?
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh I have quite a few lovers and enjoyed them. And please, don't pick on the chow like that, he had sex with me and
it was wonderful! (Bares fangs.)
Dan Evans: Hello, Wildhare wife, I have a daughter, it's not like I dropped a coin in a vending machine and boom! my daughter dropped out.
> Have you been violated/molested/raped before?
Dsan Tsan: Well, you see, there was this unicorn who had a thing for me when I was young. She more or less forced herself onto me and I don't know,
I guess I have never been the same since.
Tambra Sweetpine: Thankfully no. Not that I'm the molestable type, I guess when you have fangs and razor sharp hooves like I do, it says "Touch
me and you will get eaten.
Dan Evans: Uh, hmmm, sorry, I really do not wish to discuss it.
> Who's your best friend?
Dsan Tsan: Man, I have more friends than I can count, but I am surprised they stuck with me so long since I tend to push them away sometimes. One
creature I consider a close friends is a certain mousie with a bow on her tail, a big bow. Romantic friends, no, I could never do that, close friends
yes but I don't know if she feels the same.
Tambra Sweetpine: My circle of friends varies, the ones who stuck close to me trust me. Since I became civilized, I have gained many friends.
Dan Evans: Oh I have friends, I am surprised that I have so many, both on Earth and OtherSpace.
> Got a crush?
Dsan Tsan: That is hard to say, I love bunnies, so any bunny is consider crush worthy. There are a few within the artist community I do have crushes over
but I think they exists on different worlds from me and I have no way to let them know how I feel.
Tambra Sweetpine: Oh yes, oh yes, I have a crush on that hunk of chow over there. I know he feels something for me but I do respect his feelings towards
others, so I will wait, and if a few happen to vanish, well don't look at me if they happen to fall into the jaws of a jealous type. (Sly grin)
Dan Evans: Kinda a moot point for me being married and all that. Once in a while a sweet thing do catch my eye, after all, I run an art company, I love
art and I love what I see.
> Do you like hugs/kisses/cuddles/etc.?
Dsan Tsan: Who would not like hugs and such? There is nothing more refreshing to me than getting glomped by a bunny or two, or a cute squirrel, or a cute mouse, or even deer does, or a certain hybrid.
Tambra Sweetpine: A creature such as myself would love to give hugs and cuddles, but I can't physically. I love to receive them and I can sorta give them using my TK talent, but it sometimes does not feel the same. For me, a lick is the same as a kiss yet I feel sad when I try to kiss back, you know, muzzle and all.
Dan Evans: Aside from doing that for my Wildhare honey, I do enjoy a good hug from a fur. I find it intriguing to hug and cuddle a furry body. I guess it
is the human in me.
> Are you gay?
Dsan Tsan: I do have tendencies, more like you and call it a defense mechnism that keeps me sane in a way.
Tambra Sweetpine: I think of myself as Bi really. I can exist in the presense of females but quite a long time, sometimes I do have a longing
for a male in my life.
Dan Evans: I consider myself Hetro but living around furs, I did experiment a little.
> Play any sports or...anything?
Dsan Tsan: I am not very sports like, of course I do enjoy canine sports now and then, force of habit I guess.
Tambra Sweetpine: I love to run, aside from that, there are not too many sports I can partake in.
Dan Evans: I love baseball.
> If you had a chance to kill your creator would you do it?
Dsan Tsan: Of course not, if anything I am loyal to him, he gave me life, even though sometimes I may not agree with him on some things,
why kill someone who loves bunnies as much as I do?
Tambra Sweetpine: Hell no! Even if was starving and he offered himself up as a meal to me, I'd rather die on the spot than to do any harm
to him!!!
Dan Evans: The bum! Killing him is much too good for him, just kidding, I would not kill him, after all, it would be killing a part of me
and frankly I rather have all my parts there.
* * *
Who gets tagged? Lately since my journals have been nothing more but a massive Emo fest, I won't bother tagging anyone, but if anyone
is willing to do this meme and say they swiped it from me, by all means, go for it.
Its better to have loved and lost than... Oh who am I foolin
Posted 16 years ago*** Warning, this is a spleen venting rant about romance, relationships and being lured into something via sexual suggestions. If you are under aged, a prude, or just don't want to hear about it, exit now while you still have a chance. ***
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Yep, it's another failed romance journal rant, I know you folks have had enough of these from me but this is the last one, I promise, I gotta vent or else I am going to burst. So, where to begin?
Spring, and this old chow's fancy turns to thoughts of romance, snow off the ground, the apartment as clean as I can get it and I've been more or less a good doggie to the gf so where was my cookie??? Denied!
Excuse #1: Since my dog died, I can't leave my mom home alone by herself.
My thoughts: Oh come on, your mom is 74, she can take care of herself fine, you are 50! you can take care of yourself fine, sorry about the loss, but time to move on.
My reply: Oh, ok sweetie I understand.
Excuse #2: The last time we did it, you said you could not get it in when I told you it was already in there.
My thoughts: Hey, I'm working the best I can, I can't help it if your disability won't allow you to open your legs wider, and I can't help if nature played a cruel joke on me and endowed me with less than normal size, I'm trying the best I can to deal with it, please work with me, there are more positions we can try.
My reply: Sorry Sweetie, I'll try harder next time, if there is a next time.
Excuse #3: That's all you think about, sex! Why don't you grow up, a relationship is more than just sex.
My thoughts: True honey, but you gotta remember, males are more or less hardwired for it, trust me if I can just cuddle with you without getting aroused, things will be ok, but you gotta let nature take it's course, that or get me castrated.
My reply: Sorry sweetie, I know, I'm trying hard to suppress the urges, but the hand can only do so much.
Trust me, there would be more but at the moment, it would be too heartbreaking to haul them out. The confusion and the frustrations continue to build but what can I do, I can't dump her because I've become loyal to her like a poor stray who received a handout and follows you home hoping for another scrap. The confusion lies in the Gentleman factor I more or less adopted, after all, I am 50 and I want to try hard not to give an image of being some dirty old man. I also realize that I am well past my prime, the mistakes in my past for pursuing a career is taking it's toll. I should have settled down when I had the chance many years ago.
Oh well, so much for that. The entire weekend was filled with thoughts, from making a vow to swear off females and consider going full tilt gay, if that was possible,
to finding something to dull the pain and castrating myself, then all parties will win. I dug deep into my shattered soul and figured it is best to just remain where I am, stuck between a rock and a hardon. Fitting punishment for being a male.
Ok, what few female aquaintenecs I still have, (At this point I can guess that I have no female friends anymore) Don't consider this a turn-off, I'm only bearing my soul to you to show you I'm damaged goods not worthy of being known. To what few gay friends I have left, I don't know what to say, I'm on the brink, I feel I'm too old to offer something more than friendship because of the baggage I carry. I will still be friends but I will be that moody friend who hangs out in the shadows. To anyone else, please don't pity me, I dug my post hole, now I gotta stuff myself in it. (Oh god! I'm so messed up I am even tossing in innuendos in my writing.)
I can't leave her, and I don't know why. It will just be a matter of time before no more cuddling, no more kisses on the cheek, (I can't suck face with her cause she laughs when I kiss.) I will just be the fixture that takes out the trash, clean the animals, and help with computer problems, maybe it is fate, my lot in life. I can only envy those with more happier lives. Cheers.
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Yep, it's another failed romance journal rant, I know you folks have had enough of these from me but this is the last one, I promise, I gotta vent or else I am going to burst. So, where to begin?
Spring, and this old chow's fancy turns to thoughts of romance, snow off the ground, the apartment as clean as I can get it and I've been more or less a good doggie to the gf so where was my cookie??? Denied!
Excuse #1: Since my dog died, I can't leave my mom home alone by herself.
My thoughts: Oh come on, your mom is 74, she can take care of herself fine, you are 50! you can take care of yourself fine, sorry about the loss, but time to move on.
My reply: Oh, ok sweetie I understand.
Excuse #2: The last time we did it, you said you could not get it in when I told you it was already in there.
My thoughts: Hey, I'm working the best I can, I can't help it if your disability won't allow you to open your legs wider, and I can't help if nature played a cruel joke on me and endowed me with less than normal size, I'm trying the best I can to deal with it, please work with me, there are more positions we can try.
My reply: Sorry Sweetie, I'll try harder next time, if there is a next time.
Excuse #3: That's all you think about, sex! Why don't you grow up, a relationship is more than just sex.
My thoughts: True honey, but you gotta remember, males are more or less hardwired for it, trust me if I can just cuddle with you without getting aroused, things will be ok, but you gotta let nature take it's course, that or get me castrated.
My reply: Sorry sweetie, I know, I'm trying hard to suppress the urges, but the hand can only do so much.
Trust me, there would be more but at the moment, it would be too heartbreaking to haul them out. The confusion and the frustrations continue to build but what can I do, I can't dump her because I've become loyal to her like a poor stray who received a handout and follows you home hoping for another scrap. The confusion lies in the Gentleman factor I more or less adopted, after all, I am 50 and I want to try hard not to give an image of being some dirty old man. I also realize that I am well past my prime, the mistakes in my past for pursuing a career is taking it's toll. I should have settled down when I had the chance many years ago.
Oh well, so much for that. The entire weekend was filled with thoughts, from making a vow to swear off females and consider going full tilt gay, if that was possible,
to finding something to dull the pain and castrating myself, then all parties will win. I dug deep into my shattered soul and figured it is best to just remain where I am, stuck between a rock and a hardon. Fitting punishment for being a male.
Ok, what few female aquaintenecs I still have, (At this point I can guess that I have no female friends anymore) Don't consider this a turn-off, I'm only bearing my soul to you to show you I'm damaged goods not worthy of being known. To what few gay friends I have left, I don't know what to say, I'm on the brink, I feel I'm too old to offer something more than friendship because of the baggage I carry. I will still be friends but I will be that moody friend who hangs out in the shadows. To anyone else, please don't pity me, I dug my post hole, now I gotta stuff myself in it. (Oh god! I'm so messed up I am even tossing in innuendos in my writing.)
I can't leave her, and I don't know why. It will just be a matter of time before no more cuddling, no more kisses on the cheek, (I can't suck face with her cause she laughs when I kiss.) I will just be the fixture that takes out the trash, clean the animals, and help with computer problems, maybe it is fate, my lot in life. I can only envy those with more happier lives. Cheers.
Animation projects scraped! Animation at 11.
Posted 16 years agoBummer! I had such plans. I was in the middle of planning out more of at least two animations I was working on when I saw a post somewhere about somebody's flash getting pulled due to copyright issues with the music.
It would make no sense for me to continue these projects since the basis of them is the music that will be playing in the background. Let's face it, poor artists can't afford to pay royalties and even though I'm not making this to sell to make a buck, better safe than sorry. I might unscrap these projects in the future, or finish them without the musical background, until then I guess you folks will have to put up with more of my 2D crappy art. Cheers.
It would make no sense for me to continue these projects since the basis of them is the music that will be playing in the background. Let's face it, poor artists can't afford to pay royalties and even though I'm not making this to sell to make a buck, better safe than sorry. I might unscrap these projects in the future, or finish them without the musical background, until then I guess you folks will have to put up with more of my 2D crappy art. Cheers.
More Bunnies than you can shake a carrot at.
Posted 16 years agoIn other words, I survived Easter with some of my sanity intact. I feel terrible about not presenting anything to the masses here at FA in an Easter bunny offering and feeling like a leech for faving massive amounts of Bunnitude. Being in yet another slump does not help matters any but I seem to be only good for just a few spurts of art. I have a few things brewing but blast it all, it is going slow. There are a few folks I have been watching who are producing flash animation and by golly, I want to get in on some of that action, but I can't seem to grasp the concept of flash animation, the worst I am doing is doing long and drawn out animated gifs which are not even worth posting at the moment.
I'm slowly working my way out of my slow period and if all else fails, I'll grab something out of the roughdraft pile and ink it up, yep, another sorry excuse it is, but at the moment, I got nothing.
Thanks to those who viewed my art, I will try and squeeze out something in the very near future. Cheers.
I'm slowly working my way out of my slow period and if all else fails, I'll grab something out of the roughdraft pile and ink it up, yep, another sorry excuse it is, but at the moment, I got nothing.
Thanks to those who viewed my art, I will try and squeeze out something in the very near future. Cheers.
The return of the dancing deer.
Posted 16 years agoI meant this to be my first journal post instead of the lack of easter bunnies post, but I was side tracked. Run for your lives folks, it's another dream I had.
A long time ago I had a dream which involved a herd of deer tap dancing in front of me. I had thought I would never have a dream like that again, that it was a one time good deal, but no! Curse my damaged dog brain, the dream came back with reinforcements.
It started in a park near the town I live in. Nobody around and I was walking in the park for no reason that I could think of. A nice day for a walk, lack of people, animals and such, or so I thought. The center of the park had a gazebo, a good sized one where bands would play in the summer. Around the gazebo were a head of deer, does in fact. they parted to make a path for me to the steps of the gazebo and the eldest said, "climb up and take your place." I had no idea what she was saying but I had a feeling I better get up there. I stood in the middle of the gazebo and waited while all the does chanted something I could not understand. One doe moved out from the crowd and tried to walk up the stairs. She stumbled and the crowd started laughing. At that point she looks back at them and yelled at them saying, "Hey! give me a break, I got four legs here!" By this time, I began to realize that these were the same deer that were in my tap dancing deer dream from years ago but only older. After thinking that, the doe on the stairs looked at me and said. "Yep, but this is going to be different, you will see.
When she got to the middle of the gazebo with me, the crowd grew silent and music began to play. Not tap dancing musing, slow dancing music!!! I was confused and she told me to move in close to her, place my hands on her sides and follow her lead. It was awkward at first, her front hooves kept stepping on my sneakers and her rear legs were not totally in sync with her front. I heard muted laugher from the crowd until the eldest told them to shut up. She rested her head on my shoulder and leaned into me and we slow danced. At this point, she whispered to me in a corny voice, "You dance divinely my deer." Suddenly and without warning, she said."Oh, you are getting excited!" I heard the crowd giggle and as I looked down at my pants, I woke up!
Ok, that was quite different. I would have guessed this genre has effected my mind, but I must point out that I had the tap dancing deer dream many years before I heard of furry fandom. could this latest dream be an evolution of my affinity for furry? Or could it just be another horny guy dream?
A long time ago I had a dream which involved a herd of deer tap dancing in front of me. I had thought I would never have a dream like that again, that it was a one time good deal, but no! Curse my damaged dog brain, the dream came back with reinforcements.
It started in a park near the town I live in. Nobody around and I was walking in the park for no reason that I could think of. A nice day for a walk, lack of people, animals and such, or so I thought. The center of the park had a gazebo, a good sized one where bands would play in the summer. Around the gazebo were a head of deer, does in fact. they parted to make a path for me to the steps of the gazebo and the eldest said, "climb up and take your place." I had no idea what she was saying but I had a feeling I better get up there. I stood in the middle of the gazebo and waited while all the does chanted something I could not understand. One doe moved out from the crowd and tried to walk up the stairs. She stumbled and the crowd started laughing. At that point she looks back at them and yelled at them saying, "Hey! give me a break, I got four legs here!" By this time, I began to realize that these were the same deer that were in my tap dancing deer dream from years ago but only older. After thinking that, the doe on the stairs looked at me and said. "Yep, but this is going to be different, you will see.
When she got to the middle of the gazebo with me, the crowd grew silent and music began to play. Not tap dancing musing, slow dancing music!!! I was confused and she told me to move in close to her, place my hands on her sides and follow her lead. It was awkward at first, her front hooves kept stepping on my sneakers and her rear legs were not totally in sync with her front. I heard muted laugher from the crowd until the eldest told them to shut up. She rested her head on my shoulder and leaned into me and we slow danced. At this point, she whispered to me in a corny voice, "You dance divinely my deer." Suddenly and without warning, she said."Oh, you are getting excited!" I heard the crowd giggle and as I looked down at my pants, I woke up!
Ok, that was quite different. I would have guessed this genre has effected my mind, but I must point out that I had the tap dancing deer dream many years before I heard of furry fandom. could this latest dream be an evolution of my affinity for furry? Or could it just be another horny guy dream?
The upcoming lack of Easter Bunnies.
Posted 16 years agoI figure I get this in before I get busy with stuff. Usually I make it a mission to draw at least one easter related picture, usually a bunny or two, or a lamb, or something, but for some reason I can't bring myself into the mood to do so. the bunnies are going to be angry about this but what can I do, I go the way my mood sends me and currently my mood is blagh.
With the past few pictures I posted, I more or less caught up on the minor backlog I had and now I can concentrate on doing new new art. Oh I still have one or two pic I can finish and I might just do some late easter pics.
I feel that I may disappoint a few out there for that I apologize. Cheers.
With the past few pictures I posted, I more or less caught up on the minor backlog I had and now I can concentrate on doing new new art. Oh I still have one or two pic I can finish and I might just do some late easter pics.
I feel that I may disappoint a few out there for that I apologize. Cheers.
And so it begins... Again!
Posted 16 years agoI decided to break up the chain of posting I did. Considering that the past few posts I made have been on the mature and adult side, I figured some nice clean fun was in order. This started by my posting of the place card art for the first story in the Road Rash saga as well as the first story Preylude. (Hey, don't be hating because the title of the story is a play on words, I'm just silly that way.) Those of you who remember my website where I've posted these stories will not be disappointed since I am going to be posting them here. Also a surprise! I've finished the saga not too long ago and the last chapter is ready to be published.
However, I have a sinking feeling that those who have not read my stories before may not read them anyway. Unless you are a big name in furry lit, you are nothing since this is more of a visual genre rather than one of the written word. Oh fudge! Now I'm depressed again. Anyway, expect more art and posted stories from this saga, you might enjoy it, or you might print it out and use it as litter for your gerbil cage, it does not matter to me, the stories were crying to come out and I did what they asked. Cheers.
However, I have a sinking feeling that those who have not read my stories before may not read them anyway. Unless you are a big name in furry lit, you are nothing since this is more of a visual genre rather than one of the written word. Oh fudge! Now I'm depressed again. Anyway, expect more art and posted stories from this saga, you might enjoy it, or you might print it out and use it as litter for your gerbil cage, it does not matter to me, the stories were crying to come out and I did what they asked. Cheers.
A change in plans.
Posted 16 years agoI think I got things more or less sorted out with my life, still a few bumps to smooth out. So far I've caught up with comments and faves and resumed my regular browsing even though I think I may have missed a month or two, I'll try to get to them. By my latest submission I've gotten back into art sort-of and that is where the plan changes. I have a few ideas that I want to draw out but I am going about it slow so for the mean time I'm going to head back into my sordid past submissions and clean up a few wips to present in living, sordid and sick color.
The ongoing projects:
The next installation of Rescue in Time, more on Lara Bunn's first phase of training.
Thanks again
sip
A possible plushie comic strip with a twist, more details as I flesh it out. (No pun intended)
More Poohette!!! I'm currently working on something that features that silly old sexy heavy bear babe. It should be a hoot.
Easter is up in the air. The plan was to do a short strip showing the woes of Easter bunny and his daughters.
Stories from the Artist's Light Continuity. The stories were done a long time ago, with the fall of my webpage they are just sitting there stagnating so I guess I can start posting them here, that includes Road Rash, The two Peaches and Sunshine stories and bits and pieces of Artist's Plight. Not to be lest out, there is Aesop's crown, Kindred Spirits, and a few other shorts. Artwork for all to follow when I have time.
So that is about it. it's a toss-up between the Secret Squirrel/Dangermouse piece and the Villains having fun piece featuring Boris Badenoff and Dishonest John from Beanie and Cecil. I figured working on these will motivate me to do more and newer art. So keep watching the Skies folks. Cheers.
The ongoing projects:
The next installation of Rescue in Time, more on Lara Bunn's first phase of training.
Thanks again
sipA possible plushie comic strip with a twist, more details as I flesh it out. (No pun intended)
More Poohette!!! I'm currently working on something that features that silly old sexy heavy bear babe. It should be a hoot.
Easter is up in the air. The plan was to do a short strip showing the woes of Easter bunny and his daughters.
Stories from the Artist's Light Continuity. The stories were done a long time ago, with the fall of my webpage they are just sitting there stagnating so I guess I can start posting them here, that includes Road Rash, The two Peaches and Sunshine stories and bits and pieces of Artist's Plight. Not to be lest out, there is Aesop's crown, Kindred Spirits, and a few other shorts. Artwork for all to follow when I have time.
So that is about it. it's a toss-up between the Secret Squirrel/Dangermouse piece and the Villains having fun piece featuring Boris Badenoff and Dishonest John from Beanie and Cecil. I figured working on these will motivate me to do more and newer art. So keep watching the Skies folks. Cheers.
A lot of comments to get to.
Posted 16 years agoSorry it took so long but as folks could tell from my past two journals, things have not been good for the chow. I don't know if I got my groove back but I feel like a total heel for not answering comments, faving and such. I figure after such a fall, it is best to get up, dust yourself off, check for anything majority broken and get back at it.
I can foresee that I will have many difficulties ahead but knowing about it lessens the blow. For the first time in weeks, I did manage to load up a picture and did some work and I could say it might be finished soon, depends on how my free time goes. I have a lot of faving and commenting to do so I will try and get to it, maybe slow at first until I can feel more confident enough to interact with people again.
I think I have gotten over my ,"where is my place in the scheme of things." feeling that plagued me for the past couple of weeks. I think I have a grasp of where I am and that I should not place too much importance in being a fantastic artist, just an artist who cares about his art and the art of others. Is this a disconnect from the feelings that makes one human? I sure hope not, I just want to try and keep my sadness to myself and prevent it from harming others. Anyway, the silence is broken, I'm back in the game, I just hope I can stay the course and not deviate too far. Cheers.
I can foresee that I will have many difficulties ahead but knowing about it lessens the blow. For the first time in weeks, I did manage to load up a picture and did some work and I could say it might be finished soon, depends on how my free time goes. I have a lot of faving and commenting to do so I will try and get to it, maybe slow at first until I can feel more confident enough to interact with people again.
I think I have gotten over my ,"where is my place in the scheme of things." feeling that plagued me for the past couple of weeks. I think I have a grasp of where I am and that I should not place too much importance in being a fantastic artist, just an artist who cares about his art and the art of others. Is this a disconnect from the feelings that makes one human? I sure hope not, I just want to try and keep my sadness to myself and prevent it from harming others. Anyway, the silence is broken, I'm back in the game, I just hope I can stay the course and not deviate too far. Cheers.
8 years, or how failure is made.
Posted 16 years ago*** Warning, Emo Crud ahead, please turn back while you still can! ***
Last week I received a package, a usb drive enclosure. I figured it would be nice to have in case I have a major drive failure. While going through some old computer junk I had squirreled away, I came across the old hard drive for the first incarnation of LabRat, my home work computer. After some false starts, it was installed and ready to read. Amazing how much old stuff I've accumulated over the years, old pictures and such. One would think that it would be a happy time going down memory lane, but alas, a speedbump, a big one. I had logs from my IRC days and like a stupid idiot I started to read through them. Back then those were simple days, I had folks I hung out with, laughed, cried and just friend stuff. All happy until I came across logs from 2002.
It was a time that my mind blanked out and now I was reading the reasons why. A promising friendship that died a horrible death due to a misunderstanding. Now I won't go mentioning names and such, let's just say I did everything within my power (feeble as it may be) to save it, but the situation went far beyond fixing to do anything about it. I moved on but still the incident haunted me, reshaping my way of thinking about friendships to the point where I felt it was more safe to avoid close friendships and stick with just being acquaintances. When LabRat died, I took the harddrive out, stored it away and more or less buried my feelings, hurt as they were.
Now, reading these old logs, I still can't understand what when wrong, perhaps it would have been for the best to forget and try and carry on, but you see, I am quite an emotional being, a loyal being and when I feel my loyalty is in doubt, it sends ripples throughout my very being. How can I have folks trust me with their friendship when I can no longer trust myself to save one friendship that went south. In a sense it kinda explains my absence but only vaguely. Now I have to deal with these old memories and hope I can either purge them or let them rest again. Again folks, I must say that I would make a good friend, but with my doubts, I might turn such offered friendship away, don't be offended by that, old pains are hard to sooth.
Sorry.
Last week I received a package, a usb drive enclosure. I figured it would be nice to have in case I have a major drive failure. While going through some old computer junk I had squirreled away, I came across the old hard drive for the first incarnation of LabRat, my home work computer. After some false starts, it was installed and ready to read. Amazing how much old stuff I've accumulated over the years, old pictures and such. One would think that it would be a happy time going down memory lane, but alas, a speedbump, a big one. I had logs from my IRC days and like a stupid idiot I started to read through them. Back then those were simple days, I had folks I hung out with, laughed, cried and just friend stuff. All happy until I came across logs from 2002.
It was a time that my mind blanked out and now I was reading the reasons why. A promising friendship that died a horrible death due to a misunderstanding. Now I won't go mentioning names and such, let's just say I did everything within my power (feeble as it may be) to save it, but the situation went far beyond fixing to do anything about it. I moved on but still the incident haunted me, reshaping my way of thinking about friendships to the point where I felt it was more safe to avoid close friendships and stick with just being acquaintances. When LabRat died, I took the harddrive out, stored it away and more or less buried my feelings, hurt as they were.
Now, reading these old logs, I still can't understand what when wrong, perhaps it would have been for the best to forget and try and carry on, but you see, I am quite an emotional being, a loyal being and when I feel my loyalty is in doubt, it sends ripples throughout my very being. How can I have folks trust me with their friendship when I can no longer trust myself to save one friendship that went south. In a sense it kinda explains my absence but only vaguely. Now I have to deal with these old memories and hope I can either purge them or let them rest again. Again folks, I must say that I would make a good friend, but with my doubts, I might turn such offered friendship away, don't be offended by that, old pains are hard to sooth.
Sorry.
My Absence.
Posted 16 years agoIf anyone noticed, oh I doubt it. Anyway, things have been busy for me lately, too busy for me to do art, make proper faves and comments, yadda yadda. I hate to think my interest here is slowly slipping away, torn between thinking I'm not welcomed here or thinking that with so many artists here, I'm just lost in the background noise.
It almost feels like the same situation which caused me to go into a two year lapse between doing art and interacting on the internet. Odd, I don't think I need a break yet and in the case of doing artwork, I'm not stressed out yet, just a little listless. I'm going to give myself another week, if things slow down in RL and I get the itch to resume art, then I will by all means, if things slow down in RL and for some odd reason I don't feel like doing art, then I might consider a break that might last for about a year or two. Whichever way I'm trying so hard not to get bummed out over this. Oh well, later folks.
It almost feels like the same situation which caused me to go into a two year lapse between doing art and interacting on the internet. Odd, I don't think I need a break yet and in the case of doing artwork, I'm not stressed out yet, just a little listless. I'm going to give myself another week, if things slow down in RL and I get the itch to resume art, then I will by all means, if things slow down in RL and for some odd reason I don't feel like doing art, then I might consider a break that might last for about a year or two. Whichever way I'm trying so hard not to get bummed out over this. Oh well, later folks.
So much for plan 'A'
Posted 16 years agoIt happened again folks. I complete something and RL and a few other factors prevent me from starting another project. I can't even touch scraps at the moment. I've been trying to catch up on comments and such and my fave/gallery viewing has dropped off due to not having enough time at the computer.
I hope this does not impact upon others. I so much like the work out there and I try hard to fave and comment when I can.
I think this is Cupid's curse for trying to get even with him for all those years of woe. Oh well, I'll try and pinch out something folks, I try not to disappoint. Cheers.
I hope this does not impact upon others. I so much like the work out there and I try hard to fave and comment when I can.
I think this is Cupid's curse for trying to get even with him for all those years of woe. Oh well, I'll try and pinch out something folks, I try not to disappoint. Cheers.
So, what's next?
Posted 16 years agoI was asked by a friend, (I have friends, they are just few.) about doing something for Valentine's day. Well, it's a bit late for me to craft up something to show my contempt and hate for Cupid, and somehow posting a picture after the fact loses something. So I don't think I will do a Valentine's day pic this year.
As for what's next, there is planning for the next Time Rescue installment, Picking some roughdrafts I posted not too long ago and finalizing them to satisfy that rule 34 demon that hangs around me. I got a quick comic I want to try as well as making fun of the movie "Willow." Between all of that, I want to make a present for a certain flying squirrel gal to show her how much I like her art, working up enough nerve to gift a few bunnies, one who likes to play and recently like to box, as well as a certain lop who without her presence on FA, I would feel a bit lost. (You know who you are love.)
Oh, did I mention more Bolt Madness? Anyway, those are the projected plans, any wagering on if I will be able to pull it off before they cart me away to the funny farm?
Cheers.
As for what's next, there is planning for the next Time Rescue installment, Picking some roughdrafts I posted not too long ago and finalizing them to satisfy that rule 34 demon that hangs around me. I got a quick comic I want to try as well as making fun of the movie "Willow." Between all of that, I want to make a present for a certain flying squirrel gal to show her how much I like her art, working up enough nerve to gift a few bunnies, one who likes to play and recently like to box, as well as a certain lop who without her presence on FA, I would feel a bit lost. (You know who you are love.)
Oh, did I mention more Bolt Madness? Anyway, those are the projected plans, any wagering on if I will be able to pull it off before they cart me away to the funny farm?
Cheers.
It's heartbreaking when they pass.
Posted 16 years agoI was not going to make a journal about this, but at the moment, something told me to vent somewhere, if nobody reads this, no problem.
My GF has a dog, a mix named Jeter after the baseball player. The poor dog was getting there in age, 15 years is a long time for a dog but the pooch managed, through partial blindness, an abscess growing from his backside, and quite a few things. Being a boyfriend, one would not expect to grow attachments to your other's pets but in the case of Jeter, he grew on me. Last night he passed away and of course this devastated my GF. I found myself equally devastated even though I thought I could handle this. Over my years of life I had many pets, and many dogs, some lived to a ripe old age while others were gone in a wink of an eye due to accidents, a fact of life, but I treated each passing with tears for they were a part of me.
The same can be said for Jeter. At the moment I'm trying hard to type because I'm getting quite emotional. My hope is that my GF will cry it out of her system and move on, cherishing Jeter's memory. Despite what she does to me sometimes, something like this has brought us a bit more closer and in a sad way I feel more compelled to be with her. Her mom said that there will not be another dog until we get married and is given the house, or I buy my own house. This leaves me with the thoughts that in order to allow her to move on, sooner or later I will have to pop the question, only time will tell.
So there you have it. Jeter is gone, to look over my GF and me and get away with all the things he could not do while on earth. I only hope that Heaven has a comfy couch cause that was one of Jeter's vices, laying on the couch. I will be ok, it is my GF I'm more worried about now. Cheers.
My GF has a dog, a mix named Jeter after the baseball player. The poor dog was getting there in age, 15 years is a long time for a dog but the pooch managed, through partial blindness, an abscess growing from his backside, and quite a few things. Being a boyfriend, one would not expect to grow attachments to your other's pets but in the case of Jeter, he grew on me. Last night he passed away and of course this devastated my GF. I found myself equally devastated even though I thought I could handle this. Over my years of life I had many pets, and many dogs, some lived to a ripe old age while others were gone in a wink of an eye due to accidents, a fact of life, but I treated each passing with tears for they were a part of me.
The same can be said for Jeter. At the moment I'm trying hard to type because I'm getting quite emotional. My hope is that my GF will cry it out of her system and move on, cherishing Jeter's memory. Despite what she does to me sometimes, something like this has brought us a bit more closer and in a sad way I feel more compelled to be with her. Her mom said that there will not be another dog until we get married and is given the house, or I buy my own house. This leaves me with the thoughts that in order to allow her to move on, sooner or later I will have to pop the question, only time will tell.
So there you have it. Jeter is gone, to look over my GF and me and get away with all the things he could not do while on earth. I only hope that Heaven has a comfy couch cause that was one of Jeter's vices, laying on the couch. I will be ok, it is my GF I'm more worried about now. Cheers.
Need to do more watching.
Posted 16 years agoLately I've been doing a lot of faves without a thought about putting the artist on the watch list and frankly I feel like a fink for not doing it. On one side, I don't want to become what might be known as a watch whore, still on another side, so many artists, so little time. Speaking of time I'm finally inking the latter than ever nude deer/ox gal picture, so watch for it folks. Cheers.
Almost Caught Up!
Posted 16 years agoInking the last panel of Holiday Pillow Talk, got a design in my head for the late happy nude deer pic, ditto on the Year of the Ox tribute. Had thoughts about the next installment of Time Rescue, looked at a few items in scraps to be inked and made presentable for the viewing public.
So much more stuff to get ready art-wise as well as dusting off a few stories to post, meanwhile my soul is slowly dying. The past few weeks have been murder for myself as my GF been threating me, not with leaving me mind you, little things to screw with my mind, knowing there is nothing I can do about it.
My dedication to her animals and her mother has gotten me more than hooked, I gotta stay.
I feel responsible for this whole mess because I am a man,
it is expected of me to be there for her even though she sometimes treat me like trash. It is much worse due to my age as well. It won't be long before I pass that stage where even thoughts of having a family in or out of wedlock would be impossible without going through extremes. I guess it is a fitting punishment for me for being male, something more fitting in this case is to just have my nuts cut off.
Oh well, enough of that, I got more art to plot, cheers everyone.
So much more stuff to get ready art-wise as well as dusting off a few stories to post, meanwhile my soul is slowly dying. The past few weeks have been murder for myself as my GF been threating me, not with leaving me mind you, little things to screw with my mind, knowing there is nothing I can do about it.
My dedication to her animals and her mother has gotten me more than hooked, I gotta stay.
I feel responsible for this whole mess because I am a man,
it is expected of me to be there for her even though she sometimes treat me like trash. It is much worse due to my age as well. It won't be long before I pass that stage where even thoughts of having a family in or out of wedlock would be impossible without going through extremes. I guess it is a fitting punishment for me for being male, something more fitting in this case is to just have my nuts cut off.
Oh well, enough of that, I got more art to plot, cheers everyone.
My god! What have I done???
Posted 16 years agoAll it took was seeing a few journals out there mention Furspace to get me curious about it. At first I was going to
turn my nose up to it, Bah, another social network where I
would fail at at break neck speed. Then I figured, ah, give it a chance, maybe this time you might meet someone there who you can share ideas with, someone to pal around with, if anywhere, at least on line.
What was I thinking???? Nah, gotta give it a chance, don't dismiss it all too quickly. Ok, so I will do a wait and see, and if anything, my attitude towards life don't change just a little bit for the better on Furspace, then I'll start burning my bridges behind me and drop off the grid. Cheers for you all, none for me.
turn my nose up to it, Bah, another social network where I
would fail at at break neck speed. Then I figured, ah, give it a chance, maybe this time you might meet someone there who you can share ideas with, someone to pal around with, if anywhere, at least on line.
What was I thinking???? Nah, gotta give it a chance, don't dismiss it all too quickly. Ok, so I will do a wait and see, and if anything, my attitude towards life don't change just a little bit for the better on Furspace, then I'll start burning my bridges behind me and drop off the grid. Cheers for you all, none for me.
The journey Part 1
Posted 16 years agoSome of you may have wondered, where is the chow? Then again, others would not even have that thought surface in their minds, no matter. I found myself at the crux of the new year pondering stuff, so much so that I dared once more to take a trip into my often tortured mind, more or less like shock treatment of the soul to see how I would tick in the new year. I dropped everything, the art, the replying to journals which are piling up to take this little mental vacation, or so it seemed.
As usual, the gate keeper, a faceless entity, devoid of any features which would either give it human or anthro distinction, as well as sex pointed the way to that dusty old door. I've gone this path many times and for a brief second, I felt that fear of the unknown, but it faded when I knew what I had to face on the other side. This was a journey I had to make a alone so I left the chow at the door, his wizened face grew worried because I seldom faced difficulties without him, but this time I had to go alone, for his sake for he would not survive the trip without suffering some kind of damage.
I summoned a bit of false bravery as I walked down the dusty path, seeing on either sides the many highs and lows of my life. The same old story, the same old song playing over and over again, of loves rejected, of friendships torn apart due to mistrust, of difficulties with family, the list went on like a parade in front of me, but still I moved forward, I've had shed emotions for these before and like the economy, they tanked, the only thing to do is save it for a rainy day. This time, this journey had a slightly different feel. As if something was following me, in the distance unseen.
At first I thought it was the chow, following me, to see if I was ok, but no, this was something different yet familiar.
I was treated to the same old scenes, but something was missing. I stopped and thought about it, I saw the present, I saw part of the past, and the uncertain future that was generated by my many fears and misgivings. "You have not forgotten me." the voice said, somewhere in the mists of my mind. So familiar, so soft. "You only let me to to run free in the forgotten regions of your mind, to save me from the harshness of the real world, but I could not stray far." Again, I thought of the chow, but knew it was not him. One step forward I tried to make, expecting to step on an emotional land mine, yet my foot stopped. Below it was something from my early childhood, a foam cut-out of a deer.
"I was your first, long before there were any others. We played together in the fields of your fantasy, you running to try to catch up to me while I slowed down just enough for you to keep up." I picked up the foam toy and glanced at it, wondering why the emotions I felt were joyful, yet painful. The voice became more clear now, a female voice, yet different than any I have heard in my waking life. "Back then, we were together, your little secret that you shared with no one because you felt no one would understand. We slept together, ate together even though I was hidden from view." I tried to speak but I could not find my voice. The female voice knew this and comforted me, coaxing me to walk forward without fear.
"Our togetherness began to fade when we took that trip to Florida, the assault you faced by those boys, it ended with them ripping my physical form apart, and with you being....." I stopped her, it was one memory I did not want to be replayed. In front of me I saw her ripped form fade. "My presence in the real world was destroyed, but my spirit continued to live on within you. As you grew, so did I. When your thoughts towards me began to evolve to a more intimate state, I was happy, yet you grew scared and gently pushed me away." I nodded in agreement and felt shame and fear.
A few steps further placed me into the here and now, a struggling artist and writer with all the angst and fears that comes with the title. "Your memories of me faded, but I was still there, I visited you in your dreams but my form was undefined, a wisp. When you first started writing, I saw myself there, still undefined until you wrote that one story." I felt arms around me, strong yet firm and loving. "You honored me when you wrote that story and I felt myself return. Although you now have the chow, he knew of me and helped me get closer to you again, can't you feel it?"
I indeed felt it, a stirring within me. The sweet voice grew stronger in my ears, her presence more defined as she pressed up against me. "You have gone through a lot in my absence, and it totally taxed the chow to his limits, but I am here now." We walked forward, together with her behind me. I grew worried that I still could not see her face to face, yet I knew what she looked like, in my drawings, in my stories, and that glimmer of her in the art of others. "I can not guarantee that I will be able to fight off your fears, but I will always be there. I will be in the hearts and minds of your friends, old and new. I will visit you in your dreams, providing the bunnies don't get angry. When you are alone I will be that thought that will comfort you when all others have forsaken you."
My journey came to an end, for now, the chow waiting for me to take up his space by my side, glancing to my other side. I dared not look but I knew she was there.
I know this was too long to read, but heck, I had to get this off my chest to start the new year fresh. As soon as I can get myself motivated, I'll finish up on what I started, and do some new art. Again my apologizes for those who wished me well for the new year but I have not responded yet, for submissions not commented upon or faved, or anything else in general. But know that in my comments, if I seem a bit more up beat, friendly and somewhat loving, know that it's just the deer doe helping me cope with stuff.
Cheers.
As usual, the gate keeper, a faceless entity, devoid of any features which would either give it human or anthro distinction, as well as sex pointed the way to that dusty old door. I've gone this path many times and for a brief second, I felt that fear of the unknown, but it faded when I knew what I had to face on the other side. This was a journey I had to make a alone so I left the chow at the door, his wizened face grew worried because I seldom faced difficulties without him, but this time I had to go alone, for his sake for he would not survive the trip without suffering some kind of damage.
I summoned a bit of false bravery as I walked down the dusty path, seeing on either sides the many highs and lows of my life. The same old story, the same old song playing over and over again, of loves rejected, of friendships torn apart due to mistrust, of difficulties with family, the list went on like a parade in front of me, but still I moved forward, I've had shed emotions for these before and like the economy, they tanked, the only thing to do is save it for a rainy day. This time, this journey had a slightly different feel. As if something was following me, in the distance unseen.
At first I thought it was the chow, following me, to see if I was ok, but no, this was something different yet familiar.
I was treated to the same old scenes, but something was missing. I stopped and thought about it, I saw the present, I saw part of the past, and the uncertain future that was generated by my many fears and misgivings. "You have not forgotten me." the voice said, somewhere in the mists of my mind. So familiar, so soft. "You only let me to to run free in the forgotten regions of your mind, to save me from the harshness of the real world, but I could not stray far." Again, I thought of the chow, but knew it was not him. One step forward I tried to make, expecting to step on an emotional land mine, yet my foot stopped. Below it was something from my early childhood, a foam cut-out of a deer.
"I was your first, long before there were any others. We played together in the fields of your fantasy, you running to try to catch up to me while I slowed down just enough for you to keep up." I picked up the foam toy and glanced at it, wondering why the emotions I felt were joyful, yet painful. The voice became more clear now, a female voice, yet different than any I have heard in my waking life. "Back then, we were together, your little secret that you shared with no one because you felt no one would understand. We slept together, ate together even though I was hidden from view." I tried to speak but I could not find my voice. The female voice knew this and comforted me, coaxing me to walk forward without fear.
"Our togetherness began to fade when we took that trip to Florida, the assault you faced by those boys, it ended with them ripping my physical form apart, and with you being....." I stopped her, it was one memory I did not want to be replayed. In front of me I saw her ripped form fade. "My presence in the real world was destroyed, but my spirit continued to live on within you. As you grew, so did I. When your thoughts towards me began to evolve to a more intimate state, I was happy, yet you grew scared and gently pushed me away." I nodded in agreement and felt shame and fear.
A few steps further placed me into the here and now, a struggling artist and writer with all the angst and fears that comes with the title. "Your memories of me faded, but I was still there, I visited you in your dreams but my form was undefined, a wisp. When you first started writing, I saw myself there, still undefined until you wrote that one story." I felt arms around me, strong yet firm and loving. "You honored me when you wrote that story and I felt myself return. Although you now have the chow, he knew of me and helped me get closer to you again, can't you feel it?"
I indeed felt it, a stirring within me. The sweet voice grew stronger in my ears, her presence more defined as she pressed up against me. "You have gone through a lot in my absence, and it totally taxed the chow to his limits, but I am here now." We walked forward, together with her behind me. I grew worried that I still could not see her face to face, yet I knew what she looked like, in my drawings, in my stories, and that glimmer of her in the art of others. "I can not guarantee that I will be able to fight off your fears, but I will always be there. I will be in the hearts and minds of your friends, old and new. I will visit you in your dreams, providing the bunnies don't get angry. When you are alone I will be that thought that will comfort you when all others have forsaken you."
My journey came to an end, for now, the chow waiting for me to take up his space by my side, glancing to my other side. I dared not look but I knew she was there.
I know this was too long to read, but heck, I had to get this off my chest to start the new year fresh. As soon as I can get myself motivated, I'll finish up on what I started, and do some new art. Again my apologizes for those who wished me well for the new year but I have not responded yet, for submissions not commented upon or faved, or anything else in general. But know that in my comments, if I seem a bit more up beat, friendly and somewhat loving, know that it's just the deer doe helping me cope with stuff.
Cheers.
The last dog of 2008.
Posted 16 years agoWell, it's almost that time folks, the end of 2008 and I'm way behind on doing art. I did not expect Holiday Pillow Talk to take so long, but it's a learning curve. About this time I would be doing the roughs for the happy nude deer pic, but that is going to be delayed, as well as plotting the format for the Chinese New Year picture. Can you imagine what it is going to take to coax an ox cow to pose nude??? I only did a few Bovines so my skills are weak on that matter.
Possible Resolutions:
Try and collaborate on maybe one or two pieces of art.
Try oC, if anything at least once.
Try to be more friendly.
Try not to complain about my failing love life. (Fat chance, I should kill myself now and save the world.)
Try to diversify my art, drawing different species. (Oh shit, the bunnies heard me, now they are pissed!!!)
Try to improve on my art so I won't be such a crap artist.
Try to post more stories, maybe this time around they will get read, if anything people can point out those gross errors in grammer I make.
Try to have a positive attitude about stuff. (Again, fat chance, after turning 50, I can't really see what I have to be positive about, the freakin world hates old people, if not the butt of jokes, then folks thinking after you turn 50, you are given a pedophile card and a big stamp on your forehead.)
Try to switch back to more traditional art rather than digital. It seems the traditional artists gets more respect, hell, who am I kidding, if I don't have an art degree, than I'm nothing but shit.
Try not to swear so much in journal posts.
Try to lose a little weight.
Try dyeing my hair back to black so the gray don't show so much. (Yep, another pipe dream for sure.)
Try to post a RL picture of myself... Wait, posting an RL pic of self??? hell no! There is enough woe in the world today without me adding to it with a picture of myself, I'll be unwatch so fast that the server will crash.
Try to have more confidence in myself.
Try to know when to stop writing in a journal so this mess won't be too long to read.
Oh so many things, some of them will never be done, but as long as I still have faith enough to pick up a pencil and draw, I'll still do it. Cheers and have a happy new year.
Possible Resolutions:
Try and collaborate on maybe one or two pieces of art.
Try oC, if anything at least once.
Try to be more friendly.
Try not to complain about my failing love life. (Fat chance, I should kill myself now and save the world.)
Try to diversify my art, drawing different species. (Oh shit, the bunnies heard me, now they are pissed!!!)
Try to improve on my art so I won't be such a crap artist.
Try to post more stories, maybe this time around they will get read, if anything people can point out those gross errors in grammer I make.
Try to have a positive attitude about stuff. (Again, fat chance, after turning 50, I can't really see what I have to be positive about, the freakin world hates old people, if not the butt of jokes, then folks thinking after you turn 50, you are given a pedophile card and a big stamp on your forehead.)
Try to switch back to more traditional art rather than digital. It seems the traditional artists gets more respect, hell, who am I kidding, if I don't have an art degree, than I'm nothing but shit.
Try not to swear so much in journal posts.
Try to lose a little weight.
Try dyeing my hair back to black so the gray don't show so much. (Yep, another pipe dream for sure.)
Try to post a RL picture of myself... Wait, posting an RL pic of self??? hell no! There is enough woe in the world today without me adding to it with a picture of myself, I'll be unwatch so fast that the server will crash.
Try to have more confidence in myself.
Try to know when to stop writing in a journal so this mess won't be too long to read.
Oh so many things, some of them will never be done, but as long as I still have faith enough to pick up a pencil and draw, I'll still do it. Cheers and have a happy new year.
Running late (sigh)
Posted 16 years agoWell, it happened again, it's the 19th, 5 more days before Christmas Eve, and I'm still coloring page 4 of Holiday Pillow Talk with the first panel of page 5 still in rough.
Here I thought I had it easy, no deadlines, no customers, just me myself and I taking my dear sweet time producing. Now I feel for those artists who do commissions and having to work until the job is done. I wanted to finish the whole thing before Christmas day cause I had a big ending planned.
So this is a heads up to those who are watching that the ending may come after Christmas day cause I gotta leave some room to do the usual traditions. No, I'm not depressed over this. And don't worry about the Time Rescue comic, I'm still working on it but it is at a lower priority. I still have plans to do a Happy Nude Deer pic but maybe this time around Tambra will be joined by the does of Pillow Talk. I would include the RoseDoe character but I am going to wait a few years before I can use this character in mature and adult work, out of respect to the original creator of the character, plus I don't want to get into any trouble with showing potential jailbait.
Well, I'm going to settle down, do some coloring, some scheming, and such so until Mrs. Claus runs out of those special Christmas cookies and spiked hot cocoa, Happy Holidays from me and the staff of one at Roll Yer Own Graphics. Cheers.
Here I thought I had it easy, no deadlines, no customers, just me myself and I taking my dear sweet time producing. Now I feel for those artists who do commissions and having to work until the job is done. I wanted to finish the whole thing before Christmas day cause I had a big ending planned.
So this is a heads up to those who are watching that the ending may come after Christmas day cause I gotta leave some room to do the usual traditions. No, I'm not depressed over this. And don't worry about the Time Rescue comic, I'm still working on it but it is at a lower priority. I still have plans to do a Happy Nude Deer pic but maybe this time around Tambra will be joined by the does of Pillow Talk. I would include the RoseDoe character but I am going to wait a few years before I can use this character in mature and adult work, out of respect to the original creator of the character, plus I don't want to get into any trouble with showing potential jailbait.
Well, I'm going to settle down, do some coloring, some scheming, and such so until Mrs. Claus runs out of those special Christmas cookies and spiked hot cocoa, Happy Holidays from me and the staff of one at Roll Yer Own Graphics. Cheers.
Fear the Fear Meme!
Posted 17 years agoMidnight Requisitioned from 
neobesitz while he watched
a procession of naked bunny does march in front of him.
[X] public speaking
[X] staying single forever
[X] Rejection
[X] being a parent
[ ] giving birth (N/A)
[X] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] that Scary guy
[ ] being touched
[X] fire
[X] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[X] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[X] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[X] crossing hanging bridges (I've more or less got over it a little.)
[X] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[X] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[X] having great responsibilities
[X] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[X] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[X] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] being alone
[X] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up (N/A)
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[X] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[X] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secret
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
{{{If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.}}}
People who don’t have any are liars.
Hmm, 21, well, I have been known to be paranoid...
Hey, did you just see that guy behind that building,
I could swear he was watching me, oh wait, that's just a shadow casted by that black helicopter passing by.
Thanks neobesitz.
neobesitz while he watcheda procession of naked bunny does march in front of him.
[X] public speaking
[X] staying single forever
[X] Rejection
[X] being a parent
[ ] giving birth (N/A)
[X] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] that Scary guy
[ ] being touched
[X] fire
[X] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[X] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[X] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[X] crossing hanging bridges (I've more or less got over it a little.)
[X] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] dolls
[X] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[X] having great responsibilities
[X] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[X] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[X] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] being alone
[X] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up (N/A)
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[X] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[X] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secret
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
{{{If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.}}}
People who don’t have any are liars.
Hmm, 21, well, I have been known to be paranoid...
Hey, did you just see that guy behind that building,
I could swear he was watching me, oh wait, that's just a shadow casted by that black helicopter passing by.
Thanks
neobesitz.And then suddenly... Poof! it's gone!
Posted 17 years agoWhat's gone is my Christmas Spirit, I think. I was fine this morning when I went to work, put on that station in SF that plays the weird Christmas music, worked on my naughty Christmas comic a little, and all of of sudden, right in the middle of coloring, Bam! Feelings of being cold and alone.
Maybe because I tried to call my GF last night and she would not answer, maybe the exhaustion of Christmas shopping has caught up with me, or maybe it's the comic itself. Normally when I do porn and erotica, I feel nothing cause it's just art, but even my badly drawn art made me think a bit, and you all know how dangerous that can be.
Chances are I will be back to my usually cheerful self either later on today when I get off of work, or the next day. I'd had thoughts of buying a sixpack and kicking back, but it has been so long since I had a beer. Another hour before I get off of work, maybe a nap? I know that I still have some art to do but what if I get those feelings again? Maybe I should just try and shut those things out of the mind. Oh well, cheers folks and here's hoping your day is better than mine.
Maybe because I tried to call my GF last night and she would not answer, maybe the exhaustion of Christmas shopping has caught up with me, or maybe it's the comic itself. Normally when I do porn and erotica, I feel nothing cause it's just art, but even my badly drawn art made me think a bit, and you all know how dangerous that can be.
Chances are I will be back to my usually cheerful self either later on today when I get off of work, or the next day. I'd had thoughts of buying a sixpack and kicking back, but it has been so long since I had a beer. Another hour before I get off of work, maybe a nap? I know that I still have some art to do but what if I get those feelings again? Maybe I should just try and shut those things out of the mind. Oh well, cheers folks and here's hoping your day is better than mine.
