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here's your fuckin update
Posted 2 days agoplans for future commissions
Posted a week agoso there's a lot going on and i'm gonna have to eventually adjust my pricing for comms (it'll be a bit before but just prepping)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60467033/ see something like this? Full body/single char--how does $100 USD sound? Cos I'm used to charging $60 to $80 for those sometimes but I mean, I'm gonna have to up it a lil bit lol
I can understand if it discourages some folks from commissioning me but hey, can still stick around and view my gallery; i don't mind
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/60467033/ see something like this? Full body/single char--how does $100 USD sound? Cos I'm used to charging $60 to $80 for those sometimes but I mean, I'm gonna have to up it a lil bit lol
I can understand if it discourages some folks from commissioning me but hey, can still stick around and view my gallery; i don't mind
still alive for now!
Posted 2 weeks agoWow, 2025 ain't great. My grandpa passed after a long fight with chemo; and now, my ma is battling congestive heart failure, a leaking mitral valve, and two completely clogged main arteries (the surgeon referred to it as "the widowmaker"). Oh, and AFib, cos why not.
Just spent an entire 5 days in the hospital, then chasing after the ambulance as they shipped her upstate to an even bigger hospital. There was a lot to unpack, I'm trying to stay strong for everyone but I don't know for sure if this is gonna end well. The doctors say she has a low likelihood of survival, but if she does make it past the bypass surgery, she'll be recovering for a good 6-12 months.
Which basically means I'm caregiving again, but more so--I'm gonna try to see about getting home health or something cos if I'm doing this alone all day every day like my grandpa, I'll be out of a job and have no time for comms. So far, my running plan is to order a SHIT ton of acrylic standees to sell throughout the first 6-8 weeks or ever how long.
It's hard, and it's gonna get harder, and harder. I thought I knew what fear was back with the cancer--oooh this is a different story cos it's like a ticking time bomb. Just cos they survive the surgery doesn't mean shit--my pa died in the ICU after a "successful" ileostomy, 3 hours after the fact. And no one was there. All alone, because family. Don't. Mean. Shit.
TLDR I'll draw more titties when I'm able to, hi. Thanks for everything :)
Just spent an entire 5 days in the hospital, then chasing after the ambulance as they shipped her upstate to an even bigger hospital. There was a lot to unpack, I'm trying to stay strong for everyone but I don't know for sure if this is gonna end well. The doctors say she has a low likelihood of survival, but if she does make it past the bypass surgery, she'll be recovering for a good 6-12 months.
Which basically means I'm caregiving again, but more so--I'm gonna try to see about getting home health or something cos if I'm doing this alone all day every day like my grandpa, I'll be out of a job and have no time for comms. So far, my running plan is to order a SHIT ton of acrylic standees to sell throughout the first 6-8 weeks or ever how long.
It's hard, and it's gonna get harder, and harder. I thought I knew what fear was back with the cancer--oooh this is a different story cos it's like a ticking time bomb. Just cos they survive the surgery doesn't mean shit--my pa died in the ICU after a "successful" ileostomy, 3 hours after the fact. And no one was there. All alone, because family. Don't. Mean. Shit.
TLDR I'll draw more titties when I'm able to, hi. Thanks for everything :)
bruuuuh how are humans real
Posted a month agovent one sec, it's equal parts funny and obnoxious
So yesterday was my cousin's birthday--the cousin whom we babysat while I was in college cos his mom was in prison for like 5 years; sheer misery--and we've always gotten him more stuff than his family has in the past. Every birthday/Christmas/etc they just do nothing and we've basically raised him.
With that in mind, this was the same year I lost my grandpa to cancer; been busy renovating the property and working, and now we're getting my grandma back and forth to places because of her AFib and GERD. Basically it's a lot. Well we accidentally forgot his birthday for the first time in 17 years and his dad has the fattest, floppiest, titanium testicles to call us up at 9pm last night to tell us he felt bad cos we didn't wish him a happy birthday.
I should mention I've not been wished a happy birthday (or acknowledged at all) by them on any of my birthdays in a lifetime. So what happened? They guilt trip my grandma, who calls me and forwards the guilt and I end up driving to a fucking dollar store at almost 9:30 at night to buy a goddamn birthday card for him lmao. He's the SAME one who I got guilted into giving a truck that i paid $7K for--you'd think that'd be enough of a birthday present early. I was vulnerable cos it was LITERALLY A WEEK AFTER MY PA DIED LMAO.
It probly seems harmless on a surface level but these people just come around when they want money, and my family has always enabled them--and so have I, because if I refuse, my immediate family will always say "if you're not gonna do it for them, do it for us." Checkmate, I'm an idiot.
To top off the cum sundae, birthday boy came over to get his card and talk about how he uses ChatGBT to write his essays for him in school because he doesn't have time for all that (he's too busy successfully training in powerlifting for a competition because he's better than all of us lmao).
I dunno, it seems like we're all surrounded by black holes that take and take and take. There's way more I'm not even sharing--this is somehow just the tip of the iceberg and it's causing me to lose sleep dealing with these cocksuckers.
So yesterday was my cousin's birthday--the cousin whom we babysat while I was in college cos his mom was in prison for like 5 years; sheer misery--and we've always gotten him more stuff than his family has in the past. Every birthday/Christmas/etc they just do nothing and we've basically raised him.
With that in mind, this was the same year I lost my grandpa to cancer; been busy renovating the property and working, and now we're getting my grandma back and forth to places because of her AFib and GERD. Basically it's a lot. Well we accidentally forgot his birthday for the first time in 17 years and his dad has the fattest, floppiest, titanium testicles to call us up at 9pm last night to tell us he felt bad cos we didn't wish him a happy birthday.
I should mention I've not been wished a happy birthday (or acknowledged at all) by them on any of my birthdays in a lifetime. So what happened? They guilt trip my grandma, who calls me and forwards the guilt and I end up driving to a fucking dollar store at almost 9:30 at night to buy a goddamn birthday card for him lmao. He's the SAME one who I got guilted into giving a truck that i paid $7K for--you'd think that'd be enough of a birthday present early. I was vulnerable cos it was LITERALLY A WEEK AFTER MY PA DIED LMAO.
It probly seems harmless on a surface level but these people just come around when they want money, and my family has always enabled them--and so have I, because if I refuse, my immediate family will always say "if you're not gonna do it for them, do it for us." Checkmate, I'm an idiot.
To top off the cum sundae, birthday boy came over to get his card and talk about how he uses ChatGBT to write his essays for him in school because he doesn't have time for all that (he's too busy successfully training in powerlifting for a competition because he's better than all of us lmao).
I dunno, it seems like we're all surrounded by black holes that take and take and take. There's way more I'm not even sharing--this is somehow just the tip of the iceberg and it's causing me to lose sleep dealing with these cocksuckers.
banana slut
Posted a month agoi'm pretty sure last year or so i had my apple arc and i was like, wow i gotta try every apple ever
well now i'm just, banana.
i got these banana pumpkin bread wax melts going and it makes me normal
but more importantly i've been wanting to make a banana cream pie or else i'll slip into cardiac arrest
well now i'm just, banana.
i got these banana pumpkin bread wax melts going and it makes me normal
but more importantly i've been wanting to make a banana cream pie or else i'll slip into cardiac arrest
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted 3 months agohow are you today
i'm gonna start chewing truck tires
Posted 4 months agodon't try to stop me it's far too late i'm fucking craving asphalt and rubber
national fat cumsplosion extravaganza
Posted 6 months agoFA is in read only mode and i can't upload anything so i want you to pretend i drew the best titties ever and they were so great that your eyes melted out of your head like at the end of The Fly
so how are you doing today, pull up a chair come sit on my lap idk why you brought a chair over if you were just gonna use me as one that's pretty weird get off help
so how are you doing today, pull up a chair come sit on my lap idk why you brought a chair over if you were just gonna use me as one that's pretty weird get off help
no, seriously
Posted 7 months agowhen does feeling depressed let up?
i'm always reading these things like "oh fix your sleep schedule, eat healthier, exercise more"--yeah, uh, i have for years
kinda low-key hate talking about it cos i've been corrected so many times with "you're not depressed, you just don't know how to turn your brain off;" and while i feel that's right, i don't know what else to call it
"find a therapist"--do you do standup?? cos there ain't no more therapists where i live. i just wanna work, i want to entertain with my art, but this past month has been, the worst it's been
even in my lowest, i got relatives coming over taking some car i bought like oh sure my pa just died, here have a free frontier, and they stop talking to me after like they got their usage outta me. i guess i'm used to betrayal and being let down?? kinda my fault for that
idk, this feels physically painful, this depressed feeling, like it's disgustingly tangible if that makes sense. working out is harder, renovating the home is harder, living is harder, y'know??
and i know, getting away from toxic people, where it's been almost exclusively a 70/30 ratio of negativity to positivity, would be the best course of action; but??? i guess it's because of my autism?? that i don't think i'd be sane if i did move away with what money i had--like, change has a DRASTIC fucking affect on me, and there's been too many life-altering occurrences this past year,
i'm scared it's done something to me, all the problems?? i wish i could cope better like some people appear to make it seem
thanks for letting me vent, i hope y'all are managing, cos it's hard out there
i'm always reading these things like "oh fix your sleep schedule, eat healthier, exercise more"--yeah, uh, i have for years
kinda low-key hate talking about it cos i've been corrected so many times with "you're not depressed, you just don't know how to turn your brain off;" and while i feel that's right, i don't know what else to call it
"find a therapist"--do you do standup?? cos there ain't no more therapists where i live. i just wanna work, i want to entertain with my art, but this past month has been, the worst it's been
even in my lowest, i got relatives coming over taking some car i bought like oh sure my pa just died, here have a free frontier, and they stop talking to me after like they got their usage outta me. i guess i'm used to betrayal and being let down?? kinda my fault for that
idk, this feels physically painful, this depressed feeling, like it's disgustingly tangible if that makes sense. working out is harder, renovating the home is harder, living is harder, y'know??
and i know, getting away from toxic people, where it's been almost exclusively a 70/30 ratio of negativity to positivity, would be the best course of action; but??? i guess it's because of my autism?? that i don't think i'd be sane if i did move away with what money i had--like, change has a DRASTIC fucking affect on me, and there's been too many life-altering occurrences this past year,
i'm scared it's done something to me, all the problems?? i wish i could cope better like some people appear to make it seem
thanks for letting me vent, i hope y'all are managing, cos it's hard out there
scammers (and also cool people)
Posted 8 months agoit's been a long 9 months, uhhh things just didn't work out how i'd hoped but hey, shoulda woulda coulda
the main focus here is that throughout all my grandpa's chemo, we were constantly bombarded by scammers trying to take advantage, from rental cars to auto coverage, and then right down to cremation.
seriously, one was like "oh we don't accept any payments except Target gift cards"--ok, right. Shamefully enough my folks didn't listen to me and ended up falling for it after i actually went 6 shades of the rainbow in the face explaining to them, but oh well.
then again with some mechanical coverage plan, like "Oh well we're using this car to get my grandpa to chemo" and they're over there rubbing their fat greasy hands and penises together like "yessss i can make bank off this CANCER PATIENT"
among other things, time skip to the other night, someone tries to pull a fast one on me to most likely scam me out of cash for his funeral because like, i had to ask for help and this one Big Dick Low Ball Swinging Fucker Motherfucker comes out of nowhere like "Boy do I have a surprise for you!" like yeah no i know what you're fucking up to you cunt.
TLDR: I wish all scammers a positively agonizing kidney stone and hemorrhoids. and gout. all at the same time
but there are a lot of fucking great people out there who have helped, and i am thankful--even just listening to me talk and try to cope with these hardships. i just wish things went how i was trying to make them go, i feel like even tho i didn't give up, it wasn't nearly enough.
moving on, and dealing with new things. thanks everyone for sticking around, i'm gonna continue drawing i hope
the main focus here is that throughout all my grandpa's chemo, we were constantly bombarded by scammers trying to take advantage, from rental cars to auto coverage, and then right down to cremation.
seriously, one was like "oh we don't accept any payments except Target gift cards"--ok, right. Shamefully enough my folks didn't listen to me and ended up falling for it after i actually went 6 shades of the rainbow in the face explaining to them, but oh well.
then again with some mechanical coverage plan, like "Oh well we're using this car to get my grandpa to chemo" and they're over there rubbing their fat greasy hands and penises together like "yessss i can make bank off this CANCER PATIENT"
among other things, time skip to the other night, someone tries to pull a fast one on me to most likely scam me out of cash for his funeral because like, i had to ask for help and this one Big Dick Low Ball Swinging Fucker Motherfucker comes out of nowhere like "Boy do I have a surprise for you!" like yeah no i know what you're fucking up to you cunt.
TLDR: I wish all scammers a positively agonizing kidney stone and hemorrhoids. and gout. all at the same time
but there are a lot of fucking great people out there who have helped, and i am thankful--even just listening to me talk and try to cope with these hardships. i just wish things went how i was trying to make them go, i feel like even tho i didn't give up, it wasn't nearly enough.
moving on, and dealing with new things. thanks everyone for sticking around, i'm gonna continue drawing i hope
i wanna get fat
Posted 8 months agoi just wanna eat, and work out, and like go to my job and feel good but also be like hella fat and proud and fuckin stupid and it'll be great
y'all ever just talk
Posted 8 months agolike, you ever drop a huge paragraph and you sit back like "yeah i made words, i said that shit"
i'm such a lush
Posted 9 months agoI kinda like to document myself, like some kind of experiment. I was drinking wayyyy too much (like going through a 750ml bottle of 90-proof whiskey a week) back last year. Since then, I've made myself cut a lot of it out.
But occasionally, I do pick up a bottle of R&R and it's just...
My folks have noticed. They don't like how fast I can drink, and I AGREE with them. I just wanted to bring this to the attention of people who may be struggling similarly. They keep an eye on how much is in the bottle in the cupboard (cos it's hard to sneak into the house without them seeing), so I low-key incognito poured some out and filled the bottle back up with apple juice to match the color of the whiskey.
That's baaaaaad, don't do that. That's sneaky and bad. Please protect your liver. I hope I can stop, cos I don't wanna be buying this stuff.
But occasionally, I do pick up a bottle of R&R and it's just...
My folks have noticed. They don't like how fast I can drink, and I AGREE with them. I just wanted to bring this to the attention of people who may be struggling similarly. They keep an eye on how much is in the bottle in the cupboard (cos it's hard to sneak into the house without them seeing), so I low-key incognito poured some out and filled the bottle back up with apple juice to match the color of the whiskey.
That's baaaaaad, don't do that. That's sneaky and bad. Please protect your liver. I hope I can stop, cos I don't wanna be buying this stuff.
crackhead dream i'm sharing with the class
Posted 9 months agoi got full up on R&R reserve and captain crunch last night and had a lot of college dreams again
but the part that stood out was when I went to the clinic to get blood drawn and the doctor I was meeting was in another facility so she had me join a zoom call
but she kept sending me the wrong link to said zoom call over discord (?) and it kept taking me to weird SFM furry videos and picarto streams and, keep in mind, i'm doing all this on my 3DS in a public clinic, so i start getting pissed off
then the nurse has the Audacity to skip the blood test and straight up emails me a list of reasons why i should stop eating sugar
tonight i think i'll just skip the capn crunch, Les Claypool was right all along
but the part that stood out was when I went to the clinic to get blood drawn and the doctor I was meeting was in another facility so she had me join a zoom call
but she kept sending me the wrong link to said zoom call over discord (?) and it kept taking me to weird SFM furry videos and picarto streams and, keep in mind, i'm doing all this on my 3DS in a public clinic, so i start getting pissed off
then the nurse has the Audacity to skip the blood test and straight up emails me a list of reasons why i should stop eating sugar
tonight i think i'll just skip the capn crunch, Les Claypool was right all along
enchiladas done the wrong way
Posted 9 months agoi need to share more cooking stories because the people i cook for needs to be studied, so i'll happily be your source of information
so we have this thing about chili where i live--me, i love it hot. i live for spicy food. but not my folks
I DONT MIND if peeps hate spicy; everyone's different, it's fine. But it goes beyond that
"when you make chili, don't use the whole seasoning packet--" and it ends up being basically tomato-y chicken soup more than anything
but that's not the biggest offender--it's motherfuckin, enchiladas
my family thinks those like, el paso enchilada sauces in the cans are "spicy" somehow, so whenever i make enchiladas, they request that i use mother fucking goddamn campbell's tomato-ass fuckin soup, as a sauce
i am overreacting to this cos it's like, who cares--but please think about it for a moment: when you have mexican food, do you think to yourself, "god if only i had a can of fucking bush's baked fuckin beans slathered on this burrito" ??
don't even get me started on spaghetti--might as well be risotto from the life we boil from the noodles
that said, when i cook for MYSELF instead, i know how to make shit taste like life.
so we have this thing about chili where i live--me, i love it hot. i live for spicy food. but not my folks
I DONT MIND if peeps hate spicy; everyone's different, it's fine. But it goes beyond that
"when you make chili, don't use the whole seasoning packet--" and it ends up being basically tomato-y chicken soup more than anything
but that's not the biggest offender--it's motherfuckin, enchiladas
my family thinks those like, el paso enchilada sauces in the cans are "spicy" somehow, so whenever i make enchiladas, they request that i use mother fucking goddamn campbell's tomato-ass fuckin soup, as a sauce
i am overreacting to this cos it's like, who cares--but please think about it for a moment: when you have mexican food, do you think to yourself, "god if only i had a can of fucking bush's baked fuckin beans slathered on this burrito" ??
don't even get me started on spaghetti--might as well be risotto from the life we boil from the noodles
that said, when i cook for MYSELF instead, i know how to make shit taste like life.
probably worthless
Posted 10 months agoyeah i spent the past 6 months taking care of my grandpa to ensure his chemotherapy went as it should, he's cancer free
but being discarded and told how I'm "stupid" or a "dumbass" by my own blood, nah motherfucker
i wish i didn't drink so much every time this happened but it's fucking demotivating to know that if i'm depressed, I'm told I'm "weak," or "you only care about yourself"
if i only care about me then why did i save a motherfucker's life after he was already so abusive?
it's funnier and funnier and funnier cos my ma is now lying about all the traumadumping she'd spend 4 hours at a time telling me how evil her husband was and now that i don't like him she's like "wait i was just emotional"
fuck yourself, fuck me, fuck everything, i wanna give up so bad cos all i want in life is to fucking die cos i look forward to nothing besides maybe 3 or 4 comments on my porn i draw
what a fucking life.
and if you say i'm a negative fuck, yeah you're right--you just don't have to read this
but being discarded and told how I'm "stupid" or a "dumbass" by my own blood, nah motherfucker
i wish i didn't drink so much every time this happened but it's fucking demotivating to know that if i'm depressed, I'm told I'm "weak," or "you only care about yourself"
if i only care about me then why did i save a motherfucker's life after he was already so abusive?
it's funnier and funnier and funnier cos my ma is now lying about all the traumadumping she'd spend 4 hours at a time telling me how evil her husband was and now that i don't like him she's like "wait i was just emotional"
fuck yourself, fuck me, fuck everything, i wanna give up so bad cos all i want in life is to fucking die cos i look forward to nothing besides maybe 3 or 4 comments on my porn i draw
what a fucking life.
and if you say i'm a negative fuck, yeah you're right--you just don't have to read this
hello 2005
Posted 10 months agocould y'all imagine if i just spent an entire year committed to a bit that i genuinely thought it was 2005
anyways hi thanks to everyone for putting up with me for another year, i plan to make more disgusting art as time goes on and leave 2024 to rot like compost
such a bad year, you learn who's really your friends and that sometimes you overestimate your importance in their lives, lol
but you also find some people who are genuine and not horrible--to whom i'm incredibly thankful (and dumbfounded that y'all haven't told me to shut up yet)
new years resolution is distancing
anyways hi thanks to everyone for putting up with me for another year, i plan to make more disgusting art as time goes on and leave 2024 to rot like compost
such a bad year, you learn who's really your friends and that sometimes you overestimate your importance in their lives, lol
but you also find some people who are genuine and not horrible--to whom i'm incredibly thankful (and dumbfounded that y'all haven't told me to shut up yet)
new years resolution is distancing
IRL Resident Evil Puzzle
Posted 11 months agoI just felt like sharing this cos in hindsight it was funny (though I was NOT laughing at the time).
Other day I had to get one of our old trucks running--it had a bad throttle body sensor, allegedly. I got the part, but I needed the tools to take it off; lo and behold, the tools were in the back of another car of ours with a bad transmission. I go to get it and oops, the whole thing is dead, battery included and the hatch on the back didn't have a key slot, so I couldn't even manually open it.
Time to go get the THIRD truck, my F-150, to jump the battery off so I can open the hatch to get the tool--oh whoops, the Trailblazer's battery is a side terminal, so I had to go buy converter terminals so I could actually hook up the jumper cables from my truck to it, so I can get to the back to access the tools to take off the fucking throttle position sensor of another truck.
Ho. Ly. Shit. Literally solved a Resident Evil puzzle just to get a truck to run.
That said the throttle sensor appears to be good after the relearn procedure--it accelerates to over 70mph without going into limp mode so hurray.
Other day I had to get one of our old trucks running--it had a bad throttle body sensor, allegedly. I got the part, but I needed the tools to take it off; lo and behold, the tools were in the back of another car of ours with a bad transmission. I go to get it and oops, the whole thing is dead, battery included and the hatch on the back didn't have a key slot, so I couldn't even manually open it.
Time to go get the THIRD truck, my F-150, to jump the battery off so I can open the hatch to get the tool--oh whoops, the Trailblazer's battery is a side terminal, so I had to go buy converter terminals so I could actually hook up the jumper cables from my truck to it, so I can get to the back to access the tools to take off the fucking throttle position sensor of another truck.
Ho. Ly. Shit. Literally solved a Resident Evil puzzle just to get a truck to run.
That said the throttle sensor appears to be good after the relearn procedure--it accelerates to over 70mph without going into limp mode so hurray.
a laughing joke (sober vent, don't have to read)
Posted 12 months agodisclaimers for triggers
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i'm shocked i'm making it this far cos i really did try to plan to take care of myself before november 4th but i'm still here taking care of my pa on chemo--everyone suddenly forgot how abusive he was our whole lives (which is fair, he has cancer), but i'm the one doing all the appointments and taking care of him
his psychotic son (my dad) won't even check in, much less offer help
i for some reason turned to my dad on the 3rd, i overdrank and was hoping to get so drunk i could off myself--he stayed outside with me while i was on the ground but did this weird thing where he told me to lower my voice because of his misophonia, only cos i accidentally raised my voice at one point.
he knows i wanted to kill myself, and he even offered to let me come over and talk to him later on in the week.
he told me not to come cos he had a stomach ache.
i don't know bout y'all but i don't know how much of a clown i have to be to be denied any help for suicide because you got a tummy ache.
i know i have a lot of friends who care but that's got me fucked up how little my own dad cares about anyone
like i want to make him suffer somehow now
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i'm shocked i'm making it this far cos i really did try to plan to take care of myself before november 4th but i'm still here taking care of my pa on chemo--everyone suddenly forgot how abusive he was our whole lives (which is fair, he has cancer), but i'm the one doing all the appointments and taking care of him
his psychotic son (my dad) won't even check in, much less offer help
i for some reason turned to my dad on the 3rd, i overdrank and was hoping to get so drunk i could off myself--he stayed outside with me while i was on the ground but did this weird thing where he told me to lower my voice because of his misophonia, only cos i accidentally raised my voice at one point.
he knows i wanted to kill myself, and he even offered to let me come over and talk to him later on in the week.
he told me not to come cos he had a stomach ache.
i don't know bout y'all but i don't know how much of a clown i have to be to be denied any help for suicide because you got a tummy ache.
i know i have a lot of friends who care but that's got me fucked up how little my own dad cares about anyone
like i want to make him suffer somehow now
buying a FUCKING car (help recommend)
Posted 12 months agohi so our trailbalzer's transmission finally gave up (slipping bands?) and the shit-ass nissan frontier we bought for SOME UNKNOWN REASON goes into limp mode at 50+mph and i'm gonna try replacing the throttle position sensor
and my f-150's distributor is cum
point of this is that we're making 720 mile trips to take my grandpa to chemo every other week and we need to get a new car before i shove a 12-gauge up my asshole
so, i've been looking local
Nissan Versa? Subaru Crosstrek? Something between $16K and $27K (the dealers address that the 2025 models are 20K miles, $0 down payment blah blah like $350 to $500 a month depending on the car)
should i fuck with those if that's our budget to pay off over 6 years??
thanks hi i know some of y'all know cars way more than i do
and my f-150's distributor is cum
point of this is that we're making 720 mile trips to take my grandpa to chemo every other week and we need to get a new car before i shove a 12-gauge up my asshole
so, i've been looking local
Nissan Versa? Subaru Crosstrek? Something between $16K and $27K (the dealers address that the 2025 models are 20K miles, $0 down payment blah blah like $350 to $500 a month depending on the car)
should i fuck with those if that's our budget to pay off over 6 years??
thanks hi i know some of y'all know cars way more than i do
jack.
Posted a year agoso i've had honey jack before, wasn't too bad
tried REGULAR jack today, bought one of those little $6 bottles y'know? not sure if there's a huge difference cos it WAS jack daniels
ho-ly-fuckin-shit
i'd rather smell a rotten potato than drink that, even coke didn't fucking dilute it's assfuckery
sure it got me drunk as hell but i literlaly went out back to fucking obliterate a pumpkin with a sledgehammer from how nasty that shit tasted
even after 2 bowls of soup i can STILL taste it in my thoughts and memories
-2 out of 10, that's NEGATIVE two, out of ten, fucking fist a rhinoceros before you drink jack daniels, Epic Meal Time was fuckin WRONG.
tried REGULAR jack today, bought one of those little $6 bottles y'know? not sure if there's a huge difference cos it WAS jack daniels
ho-ly-fuckin-shit
i'd rather smell a rotten potato than drink that, even coke didn't fucking dilute it's assfuckery
sure it got me drunk as hell but i literlaly went out back to fucking obliterate a pumpkin with a sledgehammer from how nasty that shit tasted
even after 2 bowls of soup i can STILL taste it in my thoughts and memories
-2 out of 10, that's NEGATIVE two, out of ten, fucking fist a rhinoceros before you drink jack daniels, Epic Meal Time was fuckin WRONG.
a question about moving out of country
Posted a year agoHey so in the very probable chance that my final synapse fires a blank, I'm moving the fuck away. I know I'm a horrible person for wanting to escape in the middle of chemotherapy but this has been my life since June, and the longer I go, the more I remember all the shit he's done to abuse me and my grandma our whole lives.
Point is, I still gotta keep taking him 720 miles every other week to chemo and carry the house blah blah you've heard it all a thousand times, till February. It's almost November, and I'm uh, I'm uh,
Anyways I have $14,000 USD in savings that I've worked for. I HAD over $20K but oops they used it to buy a shitty old Nissan (bad O2 sensor? that's another story for another time)
So, I have 14 grand. I live in let's sayyyy the border of Louisiana right there in Mississippi's fucking armpit, and I wanna move to Canada to stay with a friend cos I trust NO OTHER MOTHAFUCKA cos there's always a catch--that, or i just don't wanna burden them cos i know they'll hate me in the long run
Am I cooked, as the zoomers so kindly put it these days? Like, can I somehow get citizenship there and move with $14K or am I gonna need a helluva lot more, cos I feel that once i get out of this environment I can go back to focusing on art full time. REMINDER, I was doing commissions out the ass a while back, working for upwards of $350-$400 a week, which ain't a lot to some but hey that's nearly $1500 a month rounded out--basically I'm not worried about not being able to find a job. I have income.
lemme know if i'm just getting my hopes up or not
Point is, I still gotta keep taking him 720 miles every other week to chemo and carry the house blah blah you've heard it all a thousand times, till February. It's almost November, and I'm uh, I'm uh,
Anyways I have $14,000 USD in savings that I've worked for. I HAD over $20K but oops they used it to buy a shitty old Nissan (bad O2 sensor? that's another story for another time)
So, I have 14 grand. I live in let's sayyyy the border of Louisiana right there in Mississippi's fucking armpit, and I wanna move to Canada to stay with a friend cos I trust NO OTHER MOTHAFUCKA cos there's always a catch--that, or i just don't wanna burden them cos i know they'll hate me in the long run
Am I cooked, as the zoomers so kindly put it these days? Like, can I somehow get citizenship there and move with $14K or am I gonna need a helluva lot more, cos I feel that once i get out of this environment I can go back to focusing on art full time. REMINDER, I was doing commissions out the ass a while back, working for upwards of $350-$400 a week, which ain't a lot to some but hey that's nearly $1500 a month rounded out--basically I'm not worried about not being able to find a job. I have income.
lemme know if i'm just getting my hopes up or not
and the ride doesn't stop there
Posted a year agoy'all i'm sorryyyy for not doing comms like i used to where it was like every other DAY i'm uploading shit, my grandpa's chemo is taking control over my life.
so far so good, his CNS has no malignant cells from his spinal tap reviews and the lymphoma tumor in his throat is pretty much gone.
hurray--except the trip to the oncology center is 120 miles to and from, so it's 720 miles a week and blood work at another facility twice a week...uuuntil February 2025
that is, a LONG fuckin time this is gonna be going on--the errands, managing his business for him on top of mine, cooking and cleaning for him and helping him around
WHY am i bitching? cos he was so mean most his life, abusing the hell outta his kids and my grandma, and suddenly now i'm his caregiver
i'm trying to ease up on drinking cos A. it tastes like shit and B. i do NOT get any art done when i'm drunk, but sometimes that's all i wanna do by the time i'm done fetching and catching; then again, that's my own damn fault for slipping down that path so i fully hold myself accountable for that fuckup
between all that, the moaning, the screaming, cleaning up his shit and then spending more time talking to doctors about alternative medications to help him--loooord have mercy, i kinda wish i was the one with cancer instead cos i'd just avoid everyone and deal with it myself. (i'm allowed to say this cos my ma said the same thing too)
thanks for letting me vent, i'll hopefully draw something nice as a reward for putting up with the incessant spew of my guttural sewage i call venting
so far so good, his CNS has no malignant cells from his spinal tap reviews and the lymphoma tumor in his throat is pretty much gone.
hurray--except the trip to the oncology center is 120 miles to and from, so it's 720 miles a week and blood work at another facility twice a week...uuuntil February 2025
that is, a LONG fuckin time this is gonna be going on--the errands, managing his business for him on top of mine, cooking and cleaning for him and helping him around
WHY am i bitching? cos he was so mean most his life, abusing the hell outta his kids and my grandma, and suddenly now i'm his caregiver
i'm trying to ease up on drinking cos A. it tastes like shit and B. i do NOT get any art done when i'm drunk, but sometimes that's all i wanna do by the time i'm done fetching and catching; then again, that's my own damn fault for slipping down that path so i fully hold myself accountable for that fuckup
between all that, the moaning, the screaming, cleaning up his shit and then spending more time talking to doctors about alternative medications to help him--loooord have mercy, i kinda wish i was the one with cancer instead cos i'd just avoid everyone and deal with it myself. (i'm allowed to say this cos my ma said the same thing too)
thanks for letting me vent, i'll hopefully draw something nice as a reward for putting up with the incessant spew of my guttural sewage i call venting
can y'all confirm or deny this??
Posted a year agochemo, lots of hospital trips, like 2+ hours of travel a day but i finally got all the medical and insurance stuff straightened out for my grandpa, and the lymphoma in his throat has already started shrinking so yeah.
now the fun stuff, i got laid off from my 8-ish year job because my family and my boss have beef with each other for some inexplicable reason, and they're now treating it as "oh we're gonna have to sell the house to live."
firstly my art can reel in upwards of $1600 a month when i'm busy and i'm sticking to my commissions, which i've had to postpone because of A. fractured hand (it's healed thankfully, i'm de-rusting), and B. i've been driving literally all over Mississippi and Louisiana since late June getting my grandpa diagnosed and tested for his sudden cancer. I've had no time to get like big comms out so i've chipped away at small pics.
so basically it's like, my folks are telling me that whatever i have saved up isn't enough to get us through and i'm like, but it is cos the house is paid off, the cars are paid off, all i'm paying are just bills, i don't even buy games or shit (i sold my entire room worth of shitty collectibles i amassed in college and high school).
where am i going with this, bear with me cos i'm running on 3 hours sleep and a few shots of bourbon (tastes like a fucking liquified coffee table)
they're saying this: we're poor, we're gonna have to sell blank blank blank find a new job sell the dog sell the car (which they took my $10K earlier this year for a shitty broken down Nissan fyi still not letting that go)
THE KICKER: "after your pa finishes chemo, you're going back to college."
so let me get this straight...we're poor...but instead of working full time, i should spend MORE money because "you'll make it all back when you graduate and then some."
their generation is fuckin cracked, i'm thinking about like, opening a shop where you can come punch me in the face for never shutting up about my life, $5 a punch.
now the fun stuff, i got laid off from my 8-ish year job because my family and my boss have beef with each other for some inexplicable reason, and they're now treating it as "oh we're gonna have to sell the house to live."
firstly my art can reel in upwards of $1600 a month when i'm busy and i'm sticking to my commissions, which i've had to postpone because of A. fractured hand (it's healed thankfully, i'm de-rusting), and B. i've been driving literally all over Mississippi and Louisiana since late June getting my grandpa diagnosed and tested for his sudden cancer. I've had no time to get like big comms out so i've chipped away at small pics.
so basically it's like, my folks are telling me that whatever i have saved up isn't enough to get us through and i'm like, but it is cos the house is paid off, the cars are paid off, all i'm paying are just bills, i don't even buy games or shit (i sold my entire room worth of shitty collectibles i amassed in college and high school).
where am i going with this, bear with me cos i'm running on 3 hours sleep and a few shots of bourbon (tastes like a fucking liquified coffee table)
they're saying this: we're poor, we're gonna have to sell blank blank blank find a new job sell the dog sell the car (which they took my $10K earlier this year for a shitty broken down Nissan fyi still not letting that go)
THE KICKER: "after your pa finishes chemo, you're going back to college."
so let me get this straight...we're poor...but instead of working full time, i should spend MORE money because "you'll make it all back when you graduate and then some."
their generation is fuckin cracked, i'm thinking about like, opening a shop where you can come punch me in the face for never shutting up about my life, $5 a punch.
2 longass months (hand and chemo updates)
Posted a year agoFINALLY got my grandpa on chemo after so many fucking tests, pre-ops, biopsies, PET scans and shit just soooo much driving into New Orleans, and my fracture is healing well enough so I'm able to draw more stably again without the carpal tunnel-y feeling shit. Just can't ball up a fist anymore but that's the least of my worries.
I will say even with the silver linings here, I'm ashamed of the rest of my family for being absent for these past couple months while I've orchestrated everything in terms of getting my pa to and from the hospitals, all these long drives and phone calls with doctors, nurses and insurance shit--the fact that it's all been on me to take care of has been stressful.
I WANT to be angry about earlier because my uncle opted to drive to the hospital (it's a 2 hour drive from here) today just to check on my pa before he's discharged next week from his first chemo session, because he looked at me and went "What, why aren't you going?"
I'm a human, I'm tired, and I've been losing work because of a fractured hand and spending most of my time taking care of grown-ass people. I'm far from done with this.
May the BEST possible luck roll over us cos lately I've been very doubtful of any real positivity--I just wanna get back to content creation because that keeps me grounded and happy to share with everyone, even if it is just shitty fuckin anthro porn. Yeah, if my family knew I'm sure they're reaaaaal proud of what I've done with my bachelor's degree, hahaha.
Life's funny, God's got a sense of humor alright. Should do standup
I will say even with the silver linings here, I'm ashamed of the rest of my family for being absent for these past couple months while I've orchestrated everything in terms of getting my pa to and from the hospitals, all these long drives and phone calls with doctors, nurses and insurance shit--the fact that it's all been on me to take care of has been stressful.
I WANT to be angry about earlier because my uncle opted to drive to the hospital (it's a 2 hour drive from here) today just to check on my pa before he's discharged next week from his first chemo session, because he looked at me and went "What, why aren't you going?"
I'm a human, I'm tired, and I've been losing work because of a fractured hand and spending most of my time taking care of grown-ass people. I'm far from done with this.
May the BEST possible luck roll over us cos lately I've been very doubtful of any real positivity--I just wanna get back to content creation because that keeps me grounded and happy to share with everyone, even if it is just shitty fuckin anthro porn. Yeah, if my family knew I'm sure they're reaaaaal proud of what I've done with my bachelor's degree, hahaha.
Life's funny, God's got a sense of humor alright. Should do standup
