(follow-up of this: https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/11247303/)

I'll keep this brief. I managed to make Source Filmmaker work again by downgrading my graphics drivers, but I only did it to finish commissions. I'm doing on one more at the moment, an animation that I was working on privately since I'm not officially taking animation comms yet. Once I finish it, though, I'm going to update my drivers again, and as I said previously, put full focus into Blender until I find a reliable way to make fart and scat stuff in it. I may switch back to SFM if a new drivers update fixes the issue I was having with it, but due to its limitations and lack of support, I'm hoping I can make a permanent switch over to Blender. I've been putting off learning it for way too long, anyways.

Title says it all. Basically, with the new AMD graphics drivers update, Source Filmmaker immediately crashes upon trying to add ANY light source. Obviously, this is an issue, since SFM is what I use to make, well, EVERYTHING ON MY FUCKING PAGE. I guess I could technically continue making renders, just without lights, but like, absolutely not? Light sources are what carry my renders, they would look absolutely terrible without them.
I'm going to roll back my graphics drivers as a temporary solution, but I really, REALLY hate having outdated software on my PC, so after I finish the two current commissions I've been working on, I'm just gonna fucking... put full focus into Blender, I guess?? If AMD doesn't fix whatever issue is causing this, if that's even possible, I will basically never be able to use SFM again, or just leave an install for an outdated driver on my PC and painstakingly switch to it every time I want to use SFM (no way in hell am I doing this).

I am beyond pissed. I have been dedicating my life to this software for about 3 years now, and I'd say I've gotten pretty damn good at it, and now I can't even use it anymore. What the fuck have I even dedicated all of this time into it for?? I probably should've just started using Blender from the start, I don't know why I didn't.
If there's ONE good thing I have to say here, it's that it's possible to import both models and maps from Source Filmmaker into Blender. If that wasn't possible, I'd probably be crying right now, because I don't think there's any good Blender models of the Monster Hunter dragons I use in my renders out there. In fact, I'll probably be spending these next few days and weeks importing as many models and maps as I can, before it's too late.

To say the absolute least, I tried dual-booting Linux Fedora KDE on my PC, and I ended up getting into a huge mess that almost costed me all of my personal files. Since I had to reinstall Windows, I’ll be spending the next few days slowly transferring my files and restoring my PC back to the way it was before any of this shit happened.

I mean, I know I already had 86 when I came back to this site, but damn... I'm beyond flattered at the spike of attention I've gotten recently~ I can't thank you all enough! Perhaps I'll make something special to commemorate this occasion... x3

I don’t know what to write, really, but yeah! It feels so nice to finally be 18 years old, I feel like my age is finally catching up to my maturity.
I might be posting some new stuff soon! Not entirely sure.

Uh... I'm not sure what to type here. It's been so long since I've seen this account... you know, I never thought I'd see this account again, honestly. When I got banned, I thought that it was unfair, and I intended to come back on an alternate account. But then... I got older. I realized that making this account and posting fetish content on it was extremely risky and stupid because of how young I was. I don't know what I was doing, and I wasn't aware of how dangerous it is for minors to be creating and viewing NSFW content. But then again, that's exactly why I shouldn't have done it in the first place. It's my biggest regret by far.

I will be forever grateful to the FA staff for allowing me to have a second chance here. I've already deleted all of the art I had posted here, and I changed my profile picture. I might delete some of my journals, too, but not before I read through them first. When username changes are reworked, I might change my username as well (unless that will require FA+). I'm not 18 yet, so I still won't be able to post the uh... usual stuff for another few months. However, I've gotten much better at art, and I've also gotten into Source Filmmaker, so maybe I'll post some SFW stuff using those mediums in the meantime.

I'm so glad I'm finally able to put this shit behind me, and right my wrongs.

Do you need to have a PayPal to do FurAffinity commissions? Because so far I've been digging and the only time the site has said I need a PayPal account is for shinies. And if I do need a PayPal account to do commissions, how and where tf do I link the account at??

If it wasn't obvious from this post, I am going to start up comms very soon. I wanted to wait until 100 watchers but I'm too impatient lol

I've created a Trouble Ticket concerning my art getting Mature for literally no reason, so like I said in the journal (https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10096791/) I'm opening my requests again.
I'm only doing 3D art, and no humans please.

I've decided to open my requests once again, but only for 3D art because I haven't been in a drawing mood for the past few months (hence the lack of hand-drawn uploads lately).

Also 95 watchers holy shit dude.

I keep forgetting these holidays exist .__.

anyways happy 2022

I feel like I'm going to start up commissions soon, as my mom said she would actually create a PayPal account so I could do them (again, I'm 14, last goddamn time I'm saying this). I want to get started as soon as I can, but I just want your guys' thought on this. I'm also doubting I'd be able to do this right (as you've seen how horribly I've been failing with requests lately).

The main thing is price for my art. It'd be nice to charge 20 USD, as I'd be getting a decent amount of cash with each piece, but it also feels way too expensive for the quality of my art and the frequency of my uploads. 10 USD seems fair to the requester, but a little bit low for how much I want to make. I guess 15 USD would be a good price? I have no clue. How much do you guys think I should charge if I were to do commissions?

I'd really hate to end up abandoning you guys like this and I hope I don't quit but I feel like I'm gonna quit art dude
I'm so sick of my style, it sucks. it's not going to get me any sort of clout or attention at all
the only reason you guys like it so much is because it's fetish art. it appeals to your interests
and my young age prevents me from doing things like drawing more mature art that might appeal to an older crowd
I also hate talking about art. I can't stand it.
literally every time I talk about art with people, they say "oh, my art sucks" then they show it and it's a fucking masterpiece
like what the fuck do you mean you're bad at art
if there's anyone who's generally bad at art it's me
also I hate this laptop, its horrible specs are preventing me from expanding my art to other areas
I WANT to do SFM art and animations but this thing's shitty graphics card isn't strong enough to run the fucking software
and before you guys tell me "just keep drawing, you'll improve" YEAH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT
I'VE BARELY IMPROVED AT ALL AND I'VE BEEN DRAWING MY WHOLE LIFE
Also I hate realism
I want realism to burn to the fucking ground for making me feel this way about something I once loved
people only look at realistic shit anymore and I can't stand it
I'm not saying I'm doing this just for the followers
I started because I enjoyed it
and I'm gonna end up quitting because I realized that I suck

well now you guys know why I barely uploaded last year and this year. there's your answer.
you're welcome and goodbye

oh yeah about those two requests I'm gonna turn them down and close my requests because I literally have no motivation to do them. sorry

I don't celebrate Christmas, but do you guys want me to make something Christmas-themed anyway?

I've noticed that lately, most of my art has been showing the character's butt instead of their entire body or a regular side angle like I used to. Do you guys want me to switch back to side angles or continue drawing mostly butt angles?

Also istg if I my brain fails to remember my two requests again-

Well, I've finally gotten banned from the one Discord server I actually got really attached to. Expect some vent art.

I went to see if GMOD was free (because I thought it was) to find out that it costed 10 USD. :(
Completely forgetting I have 13 USD in my Steam Wallet, I found out that I had already bought the game at some point xD
After about 30 minutes of trying to clear up space to download it (this laptop has the worst SSD and the worst specs in general), I installed the game and I'm playing it right now.

Now to figure out how to pose models so I can get started on some nice new fart art...

After a while of searching and finding prebuilt PCs that had at least one major flaw or wouldn't give me the best of how much money it was worth, I've decided to suck it up and build my own PC.

Now to wait until I can get ALL of the parts I chose...

Okay I know this is an extremely petty and stupid reaction from me, but hear me out.
I might be removing the following art:
"Dargo's Big Bubbly Butt Jiggler" https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44385902
"Dargo's Blue Flatulent Rump" https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44387328

Here's the reason I might remove them:
I own a discord server for fart fetishers and am in another one that is owned by a friend. One day, I decided to check on my fart server when two new members came in. They started chatting immediately and seemed pretty talkative and nice, despite having accidentally broken a rule I established.
Then they headed to an art channel in the server.
They saw my art "Dargo's Blue Flatulent Rump", and one of the users thought it'd be funny to recolor and repost the art so Dargo was green instead of blue. I told the user not to steal art and deleted the message. The other user did the same thing, but this time with a yellow recolor.
After I deleted those two messages, the two users started to post the recolors very frequently. They were practically spamming yellow, green, and even a red recolor of "Dargo's Blue Flatulent Rump". I eventually banned the users.
They immediately joined my friend's server, but I was alert and was looking in the welcome channel, predicting and awaiting their arrival, so I was able to ban them immediately. Although, I didn't know that there was a THIRD person that was part of the raid, and they posted the green recolor in the general chat channel.

The next day, I got a DM. The person asked me if I wanted to see their art. I complied, anticipating the juicy fart art that they were about to send me...
It was the green recolor of "Dargo's Blue Flatulent Rump". I panically blocked the user.

Would it be petty for me to remove the two submissions I've recently stated because of this event? I kind of just... don't want to look at the art anymore. They both just remind me of those events, and it haunts me. Not only the art, but I might get rid of the character in general. It's not like this was a traumatizing experience or something, but it's definitely going to stick with me.

I'm gonna make a new sona. I don't draw Storm anymore and I never really liked his appearance anyway :\
I didn't really feel like I could "relate" to him, yknow?

I think I'm gonna go on another break. After I finish these two requests that I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN STARTED ON BECAUSE I KEEP FORGETTING (sorry to those of you) and get a new art of my own out, I'm gonna take a break from drawing unless it's vent art. Because my mental state is getting into severe levels of low.

I'm always angry at everything, the things I used to like don't bring my happiness anymore; in fact, they do the complete opposite.
I'm getting upset to the point where it's getting out of hand. I've just committed self harm (made a small cut in my arm with a knife) and it's not like I regret it either. Apparently I guess that's a warning sign that's SO SERIOUS- ugh whatever. Anyway.

Yeah you get my point.

I guess it's about time I cleared up my age
I'm 14
Gonna put that in my bio too
If you're mad at me for being into this shit at such a young age don't spam shit in the comments cause I implied MULTIPLE TIMES that I am very young
Now bye :P
uwu~

I have some scat art that's in a soiling form. Do you guys think I'd be able to post it with a "General" rating, or would it still have to be higher? If I can upload it as General then I'll probably post the art.

I had a dream a couple days ago where I uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh "enjoyed" some new art I drew *flushed*

Gonna draw what it was in the most accurate way I can remember

Eco out

I'm thinking about dropping requests permanently. Not because I'm busy or anything, but because as soon as I get a request I literally forget about it in like 5 minutes and eventually I just forgot I even received the request to begin with. That's usually why my requests take so long to do and that's why I want to stop doing them. After I do these next two requests, I'll either take a break or stop them, depending on if I remember I posted this by then.

I swear I have dementia or some kind of short term memory disorder-

Anyway I'll see yall later uwu~ <3

I've given my profile a massive update cause I haven't changed anything with it in a while.

-Changed my bio quite a bit, getting rid of unecessary stuff.
-Changed my profile info and got rid of the Profile ID.
-Changed the featured submission from "Storm, my fursona" to "Lactose 100"
-Got rid of 3 folders: "Arex", "Roleplay", and "OC Ship Month 2021"

REQUESTS ARE NOW OPEN! I forgot I closed my requests upon my long hiatus so I reopened them, lol.

That's it for now, I'll see yall later uwu ^w^

Also thank you guys for 85 watchers, 6000 views and 1000 favorites! I'm loving the support!