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Art dump time
Posted a month agoI'm gonna go through and just post my whole backlog, along with some history about the pieces as I go along. I've held onto a lot of art that I've never uploaded but I figure it's better to have everything up and visible at this point.
I'm done getting art for a while
Posted 8 months agoThere's always a lot of talk about how commissioners bother and hurt artists, how artists need to protect themselves from bad buyers, but a lot of people fail to talk about the opposite side of things. As someone who has been purchasing art for going on 12 years, I've had to endure all kinds of shit from all kinds of artists. Being scammed, being ghosted for months or even YEARS without anything to show for it, being lied to, being told that my characters are ugly straight to my face, being told that my ideas are stupid ... at this point, I'm sick and fucking tired of it all. Getting commissions hasn't been fun for me quite some time and it has only gotten worse with how dodgy people seem to be these days, and no matter how much I try to be a respectful and understanding buyer, it's basically a coin flip on whether or not I'm going to get fucked over or not. I have no less than FOUR commissions that are "in progress" as we speak that have taken over a YEAR and over that entire time, I've tried to be as respectful and kind as I possibly can, but I'm reaching a breaking point and I just can't tolerate it much longer.
It's not easy being an artist. I know it's absolutely grueling turning a passion into work. I know the pain of burnout. I know how hard it can be to work with certain people. Life can throw curveballs and make things impossible some days. I get it. But at the end of the day, if you make something your job, you need to ACT LIKE IT'S YOUR JOB. At the end of the day, you're still offering a service to a customer, and while you have every right to tell that customer to fuck off if they start dicking you around, the customer also has a right to what they purchased or you give them their money back and send them on their way. You need to be honest and transparent with people, have some kind of queue or reach out if things are taking longer than expected.
Outside of a couple artists, I'm just sick and tired of reaching out to someone whose style I like only to be told that my idea is shit and ask me to spend money on them to draw THEIR idea instead. I'm tired of being excited and eager, reaching out to artists I only ever dreamed of getting something from only to have my money taken and get ghosted for over a year with nothing to show for it. I'm tired of constantly having to question if the next person I try to commission is going to straight up lie to me and quietly loathe me because they needed the money but despised my character's designs. The reason I know these things happen is because they flat out say it to me, and it always hurts every time I hear it.
Right now, I guess I don't feel like taking that dice roll again for a while. Never meet your heroes and all that.
It's not easy being an artist. I know it's absolutely grueling turning a passion into work. I know the pain of burnout. I know how hard it can be to work with certain people. Life can throw curveballs and make things impossible some days. I get it. But at the end of the day, if you make something your job, you need to ACT LIKE IT'S YOUR JOB. At the end of the day, you're still offering a service to a customer, and while you have every right to tell that customer to fuck off if they start dicking you around, the customer also has a right to what they purchased or you give them their money back and send them on their way. You need to be honest and transparent with people, have some kind of queue or reach out if things are taking longer than expected.
Outside of a couple artists, I'm just sick and tired of reaching out to someone whose style I like only to be told that my idea is shit and ask me to spend money on them to draw THEIR idea instead. I'm tired of being excited and eager, reaching out to artists I only ever dreamed of getting something from only to have my money taken and get ghosted for over a year with nothing to show for it. I'm tired of constantly having to question if the next person I try to commission is going to straight up lie to me and quietly loathe me because they needed the money but despised my character's designs. The reason I know these things happen is because they flat out say it to me, and it always hurts every time I hear it.
Right now, I guess I don't feel like taking that dice roll again for a while. Never meet your heroes and all that.
It's official - I'm going to MFF
Posted a year agoThe flight's booked, the hotel's secured, registration is done... I'm actually going to my first ever con. I'm both very excited and VERY nervous about the whole thing, but I'm hoping this is going to be a fun experience overall. If anyone else is going, let me know - I'd love to finally get to meet some folks in person!
A response, an update (con, maybe?)
Posted a year agoFirst off, I want to sincerely thank everyone for the comments that were left on my last journal. They helped me get a better grasp of things and simply let me vent some of the troubles I've been having with my own self-identity. It helped give me different perspectives and I'm feeling a good bit better now as a result. I've come to a few conclusions and I wanted to start with the most pressing one.
(1) I'm consolidating GRN1 back into this account
When I tried to do the drone thing, it initially started as a fun little profile play but it ultimately ended up evolving into an exercise in futility. I wanted to try and become someone who had consistent tastes and enjoyed one thing. In trying to do so, all I was doing was censoring all of the other aspects of me that make me... me. I still adore rubber and drone stuff, but that's only one facet of me among so many others. Maybe it's not your thing, and I'm sorry. I don't want to hide those aspects of myself even if it means people turn away from me as a result of it.
I initially posted my new drone art for GRN1 on
GRN1, but I'll be posting all of the art from there onto this account as soon as I get a spare moment. I want to sincerely thank everyone who watched that account and I'm very sorry if I let you down by not continuing to keep it separate. If there's any good news that comes from all of this, though, it's that I genuinely and sincerely love GRN1 as an alternate form of Grynn and it will not be going anywhere. My time doing that profile play gave me a wonderful suit design, a whole ton of great stickers and a lot of fun memories with people I never would've had the chance to talk to otherwise.
Long story short, GRN1's just another piece that makes up who I am, and I'm keeping it around in a more official capacity.
(2) I'm going to try and self-censor less often
If I'm getting art for myself, I need to truly get art for myself. Often, I find myself pushing away ideas for things I want in the moment because I fear I'm getting too many pieces in a row of one thing or another. I try to plan my postings to not do the same thing too many times in one go, and then I get sharp choice paralysis which can last for months on what to post, how to post it, if people will even like it... etc, etc. I want to be able to post whatever I want, whenever I want. Regardless of the mood I'm feeling, I should just post what I get and stop fearing the results. I should stop caring about if the things I get will get favorites or not.
This goes for conversations with friends just as much as art. If I know a friend really loves something but I'm not a big fan of it, I need to speak up. If I really adore something but I know my friend is rather neutral (and they say it's okay for me to talk about those things), then I should allow myself to enjoy the things that I do. The only way I'm going to feel like myself is if I trust others when they say it's okay to express myself, even if it's with things that they might like but not 100% adore all the time.
(3) I'm looking for potential mutuals/friends who plan on going to MFF
...I want to make a sincere effort to try going to a con for the first time, but I'm at a complete loss on how to make this happen. Right now, I don't have anything booked whatsoever and everything is on the fence, but if anyone is planning on going, I'd love to know. One of my biggest fears is going to something big like a convention and ending up completely alone for the entire duration, so knowing a few familiar faces I could meet would mean the world to me and help me formalize a decision. I know time is running out, but maybe I can do something this year, or try for a different one. I'm not sure yet.
This is my attempt to take a step towards something I never thought I'd do before. If I don't at least try, then how can I be certain it's impossible? If it doesn't work out, then I can think about another attempt at a later point. Failing now doesn't mean I've failed forever, and I need to teach myself that somehow.
_____________________________
I'm going to be slow with getting new stuff for the next while, assuming the con thing is going to happen. I'll need to save up since it's an international endeavor on my end, so there's less chance for me to get new art to share for a bit. Regardless of if you like the stuff I have or not in my backlog, I'm sincerely grateful that you've stuck around up until this point and I hope that when I do post something you like, you'll enjoy it as much as I do.
(1) I'm consolidating GRN1 back into this account
When I tried to do the drone thing, it initially started as a fun little profile play but it ultimately ended up evolving into an exercise in futility. I wanted to try and become someone who had consistent tastes and enjoyed one thing. In trying to do so, all I was doing was censoring all of the other aspects of me that make me... me. I still adore rubber and drone stuff, but that's only one facet of me among so many others. Maybe it's not your thing, and I'm sorry. I don't want to hide those aspects of myself even if it means people turn away from me as a result of it.
I initially posted my new drone art for GRN1 on
GRN1, but I'll be posting all of the art from there onto this account as soon as I get a spare moment. I want to sincerely thank everyone who watched that account and I'm very sorry if I let you down by not continuing to keep it separate. If there's any good news that comes from all of this, though, it's that I genuinely and sincerely love GRN1 as an alternate form of Grynn and it will not be going anywhere. My time doing that profile play gave me a wonderful suit design, a whole ton of great stickers and a lot of fun memories with people I never would've had the chance to talk to otherwise.Long story short, GRN1's just another piece that makes up who I am, and I'm keeping it around in a more official capacity.
(2) I'm going to try and self-censor less often
If I'm getting art for myself, I need to truly get art for myself. Often, I find myself pushing away ideas for things I want in the moment because I fear I'm getting too many pieces in a row of one thing or another. I try to plan my postings to not do the same thing too many times in one go, and then I get sharp choice paralysis which can last for months on what to post, how to post it, if people will even like it... etc, etc. I want to be able to post whatever I want, whenever I want. Regardless of the mood I'm feeling, I should just post what I get and stop fearing the results. I should stop caring about if the things I get will get favorites or not.
This goes for conversations with friends just as much as art. If I know a friend really loves something but I'm not a big fan of it, I need to speak up. If I really adore something but I know my friend is rather neutral (and they say it's okay for me to talk about those things), then I should allow myself to enjoy the things that I do. The only way I'm going to feel like myself is if I trust others when they say it's okay to express myself, even if it's with things that they might like but not 100% adore all the time.
(3) I'm looking for potential mutuals/friends who plan on going to MFF
...I want to make a sincere effort to try going to a con for the first time, but I'm at a complete loss on how to make this happen. Right now, I don't have anything booked whatsoever and everything is on the fence, but if anyone is planning on going, I'd love to know. One of my biggest fears is going to something big like a convention and ending up completely alone for the entire duration, so knowing a few familiar faces I could meet would mean the world to me and help me formalize a decision. I know time is running out, but maybe I can do something this year, or try for a different one. I'm not sure yet.
This is my attempt to take a step towards something I never thought I'd do before. If I don't at least try, then how can I be certain it's impossible? If it doesn't work out, then I can think about another attempt at a later point. Failing now doesn't mean I've failed forever, and I need to teach myself that somehow.
_____________________________
I'm going to be slow with getting new stuff for the next while, assuming the con thing is going to happen. I'll need to save up since it's an international endeavor on my end, so there's less chance for me to get new art to share for a bit. Regardless of if you like the stuff I have or not in my backlog, I'm sincerely grateful that you've stuck around up until this point and I hope that when I do post something you like, you'll enjoy it as much as I do.
I don't know who I am.
Posted a year agoI don't know who I am.
I don't know what I am.
I don't know what I want to be.
I don't know where I want to be.
It feels like I'm a different person for every single person I talk to. Nothing about me feels consistent or right. I feel like I've tried to cater myself to what others enjoy so maybe they'll like me a little bit more. And yet, the weirdest part of that feeling is the fact that I just... like so many things and want to enjoy so many things that I end up talking to one friend about X thing, another about Y, another about Z... and I guess having to juggle so many "selves" has reached a sort of breaking point.
I find myself envious of people who only like just one or two things, and they're able to build a community around them. They build meaningful connections and friendships, they have a charisma about them, and they don't need to worry about how one aspect of them will be offputting to another section. Maybe having this gallery at all was a bad idea. I know just how much people loved seeing Grynn pregnant or fat, and the moment I deviated into other territories that i love just as much (or even more in some cases), the audience vanished with it. I tried to experiment with profile play, to... get away from the dreadful sense of fragmentation, but it only ended up fragmenting my friendships and connections even further.
Now, I just don't know what to do anymore.
Some people talk to me because they like Arctus. Some people talk to me because they like GRN1. Some people talk to me because they like my inflation stuff. Some people talk to me because they like my fat stuff. Some people talk to me because they like my macro stuff. Some people talk to me because they like mpreg stuff. I end up juggling so many iterations of myself for different people to the point where I don't know where one starts and another begins. I feel lost in my identity, and scared that despite knowing deep down in my heart that I genuinely do enjoy all of these things, if I were to deviate from any of those and try to be a different self than what that person expressly hopes of me, then I'll be destroying whatever connections I have in the process.
The same thing applies to real life. I have many interests. I've had aspirations, and I'm quick to become passionate about topics I never once gave thought to before in my life. Yet when I stop and try to plan the trajectory of my life and where I see myself in the future, I end up... stalled. I'm scared of moving forward and making the wrong decision. I'm scared of failing and not getting a second chance. I'm scared of trying to follow a passion only to realize that something else would've been even more special and important to me. I feel like a chameleon blending into everything I touch to the point where none of me is even real at this point, and I don't know how to shake this feeling or become tangible to reality again.
Almost everyone will most likely ignore all of this, and that's fine. It's a big wall of text which more or less amounts to a bunch of aimless whining and yapping about nothing, but I just... I wish I knew how to consolidate these little shards of myself into a full being without losing what makes those little pieces meaningful to me. I wish I could be normal. I wish I could be dedicated to a few smaller things so I could have a larger stake in the things that I love. I tried to live that fantasy and it failed spectacularly. Everyone else has this calling, what drives them towards certain likes and wants and needs. Everyone else has this raison d'etre and the Freudian ego to contain all of it. I don't know how to define myself.
I don't know who I am.
I don't know what I am.
I don't know what I want to be.
I don't know where I want to be.
It feels like I'm a different person for every single person I talk to. Nothing about me feels consistent or right. I feel like I've tried to cater myself to what others enjoy so maybe they'll like me a little bit more. And yet, the weirdest part of that feeling is the fact that I just... like so many things and want to enjoy so many things that I end up talking to one friend about X thing, another about Y, another about Z... and I guess having to juggle so many "selves" has reached a sort of breaking point.
I find myself envious of people who only like just one or two things, and they're able to build a community around them. They build meaningful connections and friendships, they have a charisma about them, and they don't need to worry about how one aspect of them will be offputting to another section. Maybe having this gallery at all was a bad idea. I know just how much people loved seeing Grynn pregnant or fat, and the moment I deviated into other territories that i love just as much (or even more in some cases), the audience vanished with it. I tried to experiment with profile play, to... get away from the dreadful sense of fragmentation, but it only ended up fragmenting my friendships and connections even further.
Now, I just don't know what to do anymore.
Some people talk to me because they like Arctus. Some people talk to me because they like GRN1. Some people talk to me because they like my inflation stuff. Some people talk to me because they like my fat stuff. Some people talk to me because they like my macro stuff. Some people talk to me because they like mpreg stuff. I end up juggling so many iterations of myself for different people to the point where I don't know where one starts and another begins. I feel lost in my identity, and scared that despite knowing deep down in my heart that I genuinely do enjoy all of these things, if I were to deviate from any of those and try to be a different self than what that person expressly hopes of me, then I'll be destroying whatever connections I have in the process.
The same thing applies to real life. I have many interests. I've had aspirations, and I'm quick to become passionate about topics I never once gave thought to before in my life. Yet when I stop and try to plan the trajectory of my life and where I see myself in the future, I end up... stalled. I'm scared of moving forward and making the wrong decision. I'm scared of failing and not getting a second chance. I'm scared of trying to follow a passion only to realize that something else would've been even more special and important to me. I feel like a chameleon blending into everything I touch to the point where none of me is even real at this point, and I don't know how to shake this feeling or become tangible to reality again.
Almost everyone will most likely ignore all of this, and that's fine. It's a big wall of text which more or less amounts to a bunch of aimless whining and yapping about nothing, but I just... I wish I knew how to consolidate these little shards of myself into a full being without losing what makes those little pieces meaningful to me. I wish I could be normal. I wish I could be dedicated to a few smaller things so I could have a larger stake in the things that I love. I tried to live that fantasy and it failed spectacularly. Everyone else has this calling, what drives them towards certain likes and wants and needs. Everyone else has this raison d'etre and the Freudian ego to contain all of it. I don't know how to define myself.
I don't know who I am.
Birthday time!! 🎂🎉
Posted a year agoHappy birthday to me! I hope you've all been doing well, and I'm sorry again for the slow posts. Now that I finally broke through the anxiety to post stuff, I'll try to work through the backlog bit by bit, hopefully uploading something once a week for the next while for Master's Charr.
I've still got stuff on the way for Drone over at GRN1 on the way, too~
Not much else to report on my end - I hope your day goes well, and thank you so much for being so patient, understanding, and even encouraging of the new things happening around Drone. 🖤✨️
I've still got stuff on the way for Drone over at
GRN1 on the way, too~Not much else to report on my end - I hope your day goes well, and thank you so much for being so patient, understanding, and even encouraging of the new things happening around Drone. 🖤✨️
Updates moving forward + new ownership
Posted a year agoHello everyone.
You probably have noticed that the icon and banner changed on this profile for a while, and the name of Drone's Twitter changed to "CharrDrone". All of this is still in play, and Drone would like to formally state that the character "Grynn" belongs to its Master. Master wishes to remain private as to avoid any drama or trouble, and Drone would also like to state that it is very eager to continue in its role. This is a state of profile play Drone has always wanted to reach, and it is so happy to finally have reached a point where it can experience this firsthand.
Lucky for everyone, this will have little to no impact on the state of the gallery - Drone will continue to post art of Master's character to this gallery as it is commissioned.
To separate Drone from the character "Grynn", Drone has created a new profile:, and all of its future Drone art can be found there.
Drone is exceedingly happy with this turn of events and hopes everyone is willing to continue supporting Drone, even if it no longer owns Grynn as a character. Drone hopes you are all looking forward to both more Drone art and more art of Master's Charr moving forward.
(PS: Drone has not forgotten about the current last picture of the comic - it has simply had some posting paralysis.)
You probably have noticed that the icon and banner changed on this profile for a while, and the name of Drone's Twitter changed to "CharrDrone". All of this is still in play, and Drone would like to formally state that the character "Grynn" belongs to its Master. Master wishes to remain private as to avoid any drama or trouble, and Drone would also like to state that it is very eager to continue in its role. This is a state of profile play Drone has always wanted to reach, and it is so happy to finally have reached a point where it can experience this firsthand.
Lucky for everyone, this will have little to no impact on the state of the gallery - Drone will continue to post art of Master's character to this gallery as it is commissioned.
To separate Drone from the character "Grynn", Drone has created a new profile:
, and all of its future Drone art can be found there.Drone is exceedingly happy with this turn of events and hopes everyone is willing to continue supporting Drone, even if it no longer owns Grynn as a character. Drone hopes you are all looking forward to both more Drone art and more art of Master's Charr moving forward.
(PS: Drone has not forgotten about the current last picture of the comic - it has simply had some posting paralysis.)
Spam posting vs slow posting? Stories or nah? (No jokes)
Posted a year agoI've been ruminating a bit on how I should be going ahead and posting things across all of my social media pages, and I'm a bit at a loss. I know there are some folks who wait until they have a bunch of pictures and then quickly spam them all out onto their profile in one big batch. I've also had some people really liking the longer descriptions that I put on some of my pictures, but it does take some time and I can sometimes get in my own head about not being creative enough, so they stall and wait for extended periods of time (which also isn't beneficial for an account).
I know I need to post on a more consistent basis, especially given the backlog of pictures that I have available, but I also need to keep some pictures saved just in case I fall into a dry spell and don't have anything to share for an extended period of time... so I guess I'm having a hard time trying to find the balance on how I should go about uploading everything.
Do you guys prefer huge content dumps with periods of nothing between? Do you prefer more consistent uploads? I feel like I lean towards the latter, but then I feel like they deserve more effort if they're spaced out and should come with better descriptions.
I know I need to post on a more consistent basis, especially given the backlog of pictures that I have available, but I also need to keep some pictures saved just in case I fall into a dry spell and don't have anything to share for an extended period of time... so I guess I'm having a hard time trying to find the balance on how I should go about uploading everything.
Do you guys prefer huge content dumps with periods of nothing between? Do you prefer more consistent uploads? I feel like I lean towards the latter, but then I feel like they deserve more effort if they're spaced out and should come with better descriptions.
Merry Christmas/Bigmass, everyone!
Posted 2 years agoI hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas time, regardless of who it's being spent with! And for those who are of the growthy/inflaty variety, I hope you continue to get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger--... you get the idea.
I sure as hell will try myself~
I sure as hell will try myself~
Merry Christmas/Bigmass, everyone!
Posted 2 years agoI hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas time, regardless of who it's being spent with! And for those who are of the growthy/inflaty variety, I hope you continue to get bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger--... you get the idea.
I sure as hell will try myself~
I sure as hell will try myself~
I have a Bluesky!
Posted 2 years agoYou can go add me at https://bsky.app/profile/grynn.bsky.social
I love when I'm able to get my actual name on sites... and I'm thinking of reposting the full comic that got taken down here over there. As well as my inflation and other stuff over time.
I love when I'm able to get my actual name on sites... and I'm thinking of reposting the full comic that got taken down here over there. As well as my inflation and other stuff over time.
UPDATE: They doubled, then tripled down.
Posted 2 years agohttps://twitter.com/CharrGrynn/stat.....764217481?s=20
To protect my page from losing almost 75% of its entire viewcount, I've edited one of the pictures to remove any description of what's happening in it, and I've completely replaced the other three with belly bumps on it with text depicting what used to be there.
From this point on, I will never commission another mpreg piece again. I would rather not risk being called a "pedophile" because someone can twist the notion of carrying kids as being aroused by them. I apologize to everyone this upsets, and you're free to unwatch me if that's all you wanted to see. I'm sorry for failing you all and hope you have a wonderful day.
I will also never remove the previous journal as proof of what stood there for complete and total transparency. I have nothing to hide, I feel as if I did nothing wrong, but I would be wrong to state that even looking at or enjoying the kink will be next to impossible for me from now on because of this. Now that I know the implications of what people actually think and feel about me as a result of it. It's a Pandora's box that can never be unopened, and I'm sorry.
To protect my page from losing almost 75% of its entire viewcount, I've edited one of the pictures to remove any description of what's happening in it, and I've completely replaced the other three with belly bumps on it with text depicting what used to be there.
From this point on, I will never commission another mpreg piece again. I would rather not risk being called a "pedophile" because someone can twist the notion of carrying kids as being aroused by them. I apologize to everyone this upsets, and you're free to unwatch me if that's all you wanted to see. I'm sorry for failing you all and hope you have a wonderful day.
I will also never remove the previous journal as proof of what stood there for complete and total transparency. I have nothing to hide, I feel as if I did nothing wrong, but I would be wrong to state that even looking at or enjoying the kink will be next to impossible for me from now on because of this. Now that I know the implications of what people actually think and feel about me as a result of it. It's a Pandora's box that can never be unopened, and I'm sorry.
To remain on FA, I must remove my most popular comic.
Posted 2 years agoWhen we received the news that FA was changing their policy and targeting cub-related stuff, I was fine with that because it really does not affect me. However, there was a particular picture that I was worried may be flagged for being indecent to have on the site, since it's the only picture that I have which has actual cubs in it because... well... the comic was for Mayternity after all, and around the halfway point of the comic, Grynn gets re-knocked up again for a second round. The picture itself is SFW with the reveal that Elias has become impregnated during their fun as well while Grynn was taking care of the cubs he had just birthed.
That picture is this one: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47164360/
After hearing back FOUR MONTHS LATER, it turns out they are completely fine with that picture because it's not sexual. However, they DO have issue with four completely separate mpreg pictures and I was absolutely blindsided by the result. And the trigger for these pictures being "pedophilic content"? They have bumps from kicking from within the belly. No, I'm not kidding. Aside from potential retagging (removing 'cubs' from the tags ultimately because it's not cub content - it's mpreg content) and the content in the description mentioning cubs because... again... it's an mpreg picture (the context REALLY matters in this case). I can and will admit that my style of tagging everything in a picture didn't have enough hindsight to recognize where those pictures would end up if searched through that tag alone, and that's 100% on me for not realizing that ahead of time.
And I'm just going to preface this from the top:
THESE PICTURES ARE ABOUT THE ADULTS. THERE ARE NO CUBS BEING SEXUALIZED. MPREG FOCUSES ON BEING PREGNANT, NOT A SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO CUBS. I AM ***NOT*** ATTRACTED TO UNDERAGED CHARACTERS. IF THAT IS THE MESSAGE YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS, OR THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME BECAUSE OF THE ART I HAVE POSTED ON MY ACCOUNT, THEN YOU ARE BEYOND SAVING.
CONTEXT. MATTERS.
Part 9: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47264757/
This is the only picture that deliberately uses the word 'cub' in it, so it has the most argument for removal. However, at its core, it's a pregnant man impregnating another man with the mention of kicking from inside his belly. There is no mention in the details about anything regarding cubs, only that Grynn is being knocked up with a new litter.
Part 5: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47121252/
This is a picture of Grynn's water breaking and lactation... there are no cubs outside of the kicking bumps on his belly, and the picture itself isn't even "adult" in the sense that privates are in view. It's a kink picture, sure, but that's because it's a natural development when someone reaches the end of a pregnancy. This one was also flagged for 'sexualizing children'.
Part 10: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47351299/
Again, the 'rowdy cubs' description comes up again... which can be removed, for sure. But remember that this is an mpreg comic, with the entire focus being on pregnancy... the picture is two lovers sitting on a couch as they enjoy their size and deal with the repercussions of their arousal.
Part 7: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47194014/
This is the one that baffles me the absolute most. The only things I can see flagging it as inappropriate are the tags (which can be fixed) and the mention of kicking (again) in the description.
So, where do I go from here? Well, the only option I have is to delete the comic to stay on the site. With it, I will be deleting 76,495 views and 5,073 favorites. For context, that is 74.5 PERCENT OF MY ENTIRE ACCOUNT'S VIEWS and 11.4 PERCENT OF MY ACCOUNT'S FAVORITES. You could argue that I only need to remove the pieces that were flagged, but that kills the entire point of having a comic in the first place, doesn't it? I could change the pictures to placeholders, send people to another site, but what site? The 50 others that spring up and immediately die because they lack the staying power or relevance required for a non-artist to survive and maintain any semblance of a presence online? Whether we like it or not, having a semi-stable gallery with access to a majority of the eyes that pass through this content is important to keep.
As for whether or not I'll feel comfortable getting mpreg art ever again, I'm not really sure. Part of the joy I get from getting pictures is sharing it with others and enjoying the reactions I get from others, or stirring up ideas in others to enjoy as much as I do. If I risk getting called a pedophile for enjoying something, then I would rather avoid it entirely. Sorry if this upsets anyone, but understand that it upsets me much, much, much more that people would even insinuate such a disgusting thing about me. And if you already do? Go fuck yourself. Seriously. Fuck yourself. I have no amount of Tik Tok-friendly ways to tell you off, so I will leave it to your imagination on how I sincerely feel.
tl;dr: Read the fucking thing. I didn't spend the past two hours writing it all up for you to scan it like it's nothing. This is serious to me.
That picture is this one: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47164360/
After hearing back FOUR MONTHS LATER, it turns out they are completely fine with that picture because it's not sexual. However, they DO have issue with four completely separate mpreg pictures and I was absolutely blindsided by the result. And the trigger for these pictures being "pedophilic content"? They have bumps from kicking from within the belly. No, I'm not kidding. Aside from potential retagging (removing 'cubs' from the tags ultimately because it's not cub content - it's mpreg content) and the content in the description mentioning cubs because... again... it's an mpreg picture (the context REALLY matters in this case). I can and will admit that my style of tagging everything in a picture didn't have enough hindsight to recognize where those pictures would end up if searched through that tag alone, and that's 100% on me for not realizing that ahead of time.
And I'm just going to preface this from the top:
THESE PICTURES ARE ABOUT THE ADULTS. THERE ARE NO CUBS BEING SEXUALIZED. MPREG FOCUSES ON BEING PREGNANT, NOT A SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO CUBS. I AM ***NOT*** ATTRACTED TO UNDERAGED CHARACTERS. IF THAT IS THE MESSAGE YOU RECEIVE FROM THIS, OR THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK OF ME BECAUSE OF THE ART I HAVE POSTED ON MY ACCOUNT, THEN YOU ARE BEYOND SAVING.
CONTEXT. MATTERS.
Part 9: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47264757/
This is the only picture that deliberately uses the word 'cub' in it, so it has the most argument for removal. However, at its core, it's a pregnant man impregnating another man with the mention of kicking from inside his belly. There is no mention in the details about anything regarding cubs, only that Grynn is being knocked up with a new litter.
Part 5: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47121252/
This is a picture of Grynn's water breaking and lactation... there are no cubs outside of the kicking bumps on his belly, and the picture itself isn't even "adult" in the sense that privates are in view. It's a kink picture, sure, but that's because it's a natural development when someone reaches the end of a pregnancy. This one was also flagged for 'sexualizing children'.
Part 10: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47351299/
Again, the 'rowdy cubs' description comes up again... which can be removed, for sure. But remember that this is an mpreg comic, with the entire focus being on pregnancy... the picture is two lovers sitting on a couch as they enjoy their size and deal with the repercussions of their arousal.
Part 7: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47194014/
This is the one that baffles me the absolute most. The only things I can see flagging it as inappropriate are the tags (which can be fixed) and the mention of kicking (again) in the description.
So, where do I go from here? Well, the only option I have is to delete the comic to stay on the site. With it, I will be deleting 76,495 views and 5,073 favorites. For context, that is 74.5 PERCENT OF MY ENTIRE ACCOUNT'S VIEWS and 11.4 PERCENT OF MY ACCOUNT'S FAVORITES. You could argue that I only need to remove the pieces that were flagged, but that kills the entire point of having a comic in the first place, doesn't it? I could change the pictures to placeholders, send people to another site, but what site? The 50 others that spring up and immediately die because they lack the staying power or relevance required for a non-artist to survive and maintain any semblance of a presence online? Whether we like it or not, having a semi-stable gallery with access to a majority of the eyes that pass through this content is important to keep.
As for whether or not I'll feel comfortable getting mpreg art ever again, I'm not really sure. Part of the joy I get from getting pictures is sharing it with others and enjoying the reactions I get from others, or stirring up ideas in others to enjoy as much as I do. If I risk getting called a pedophile for enjoying something, then I would rather avoid it entirely. Sorry if this upsets anyone, but understand that it upsets me much, much, much more that people would even insinuate such a disgusting thing about me. And if you already do? Go fuck yourself. Seriously. Fuck yourself. I have no amount of Tik Tok-friendly ways to tell you off, so I will leave it to your imagination on how I sincerely feel.
tl;dr: Read the fucking thing. I didn't spend the past two hours writing it all up for you to scan it like it's nothing. This is serious to me.
I'M OPENING FOR COMMISSIONS?? Maybe.
Posted 2 years agoSo, I promised I'd come and make a post with some potentially big news, and I think I'm going to put this out and test the waters: I might open for commissions.
No, not for art.
Not for stories, either.
I want to make physical merch. It's a bit of a crazy leap without context, and I'm honestly a little anxious to even be bringing it up, but I guess I'll start from the top.
So, uh, this is coming out of nowhere. What's up?
For almost a year now, I've been working in a textiles shop thanks to the help of a close friend who helped me after I graduated and couldn't find absolutely any jobs that were willing to take me. At first, I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'd end up actually interested in making anything since I always believed myself to have no knack for it, but the more I've trained and practiced, the more I've actually found myself... liking it. Enough that I've been researching the possibility of starting some sort of side gig for physical furry merch. I feel like being able to provide custom goodies for people that's not just art would be a fantastic outlet for expression. So far, I've made a quilt and a Koraidon mat that I embroidered myself using a commission I got from
Heart-of-a-dragoness, and one day, I'd love to embroider other's OCs and designs onto clothing and stuff... but I feel like I should start a little smaller.
So...
I made some stickers! Physical ones that I've been putting on my phone case and water bottle and car. And the more I play with the idea, the more I think that I could actually make it into a thing.
But you didn't draw those.
...I know. And that's where I've been struggling a bit with the ethicality of selling designs that are inherently not mine. I don't believe there should be any issue and I wouldn't be stepping on any artist's toes if I were to sell stickers under these limitations:
1. The commissioner must either: (a) own the art they are commissioning if it is their own character, or (b) it must be a character that already exists within some sort of other fiction (ie video games, movies, anime, etc)
2. If an artist owns a physical merch store of their own or provides a similar product, I will NOT take a commission for one of their designs and cannibalize their sales
3. I will not accept any AI generated art to be made into stickers - it has to be legitimate art made by real people (also the nature of AI art makes turning them into stickers much more difficult but I won't get into the logistics here)
Given most artists state in their ToS that art sold to a commissioner is theirs to keep and they can do as they please with it, I feel like that SHOULDN'T rub up against any problems... key word: shouldn't. If not, I can always adjust and learn as I grow, right?
But, ultimately, I'd really appreciate your thoughts on all of this.
tl;dr: I got "tricked" into learning how to make stuff and it's fun actually - would you guys wanna buy physical stickers of your OCs to put on stuff? haha jk unless...
_______________________________________________________________________________________
With that being said, please please let me know what you think about all of this. Any considerations I'm not currently wary of, if there's even interest at all. Would YOU buy stickers? Do you think OTHERS would buy stickers? Hell, it doesn't have to stop at just stickers - maybe I can eventually build a full printing service for con badges or keychains... maybe one day, I'll even begin selling embroidered merchandise if that's where my path takes me. All I can say is that I've never felt so inspired to create something outside of writing like this before, and I want to share it with as many people as I can.
And I've got one more journal coming soon. Mostly me being a big sap, as a heads up. But thank you for reading it all - it means a lot to me and I appreciate you all so much. Seriously. <3
No, not for art.
Not for stories, either.
I want to make physical merch. It's a bit of a crazy leap without context, and I'm honestly a little anxious to even be bringing it up, but I guess I'll start from the top.
So, uh, this is coming out of nowhere. What's up?
For almost a year now, I've been working in a textiles shop thanks to the help of a close friend who helped me after I graduated and couldn't find absolutely any jobs that were willing to take me. At first, I never thought in my wildest dreams that I'd end up actually interested in making anything since I always believed myself to have no knack for it, but the more I've trained and practiced, the more I've actually found myself... liking it. Enough that I've been researching the possibility of starting some sort of side gig for physical furry merch. I feel like being able to provide custom goodies for people that's not just art would be a fantastic outlet for expression. So far, I've made a quilt and a Koraidon mat that I embroidered myself using a commission I got from
Heart-of-a-dragoness, and one day, I'd love to embroider other's OCs and designs onto clothing and stuff... but I feel like I should start a little smaller.So...
I made some stickers! Physical ones that I've been putting on my phone case and water bottle and car. And the more I play with the idea, the more I think that I could actually make it into a thing.
But you didn't draw those.
...I know. And that's where I've been struggling a bit with the ethicality of selling designs that are inherently not mine. I don't believe there should be any issue and I wouldn't be stepping on any artist's toes if I were to sell stickers under these limitations:
1. The commissioner must either: (a) own the art they are commissioning if it is their own character, or (b) it must be a character that already exists within some sort of other fiction (ie video games, movies, anime, etc)
2. If an artist owns a physical merch store of their own or provides a similar product, I will NOT take a commission for one of their designs and cannibalize their sales
3. I will not accept any AI generated art to be made into stickers - it has to be legitimate art made by real people (also the nature of AI art makes turning them into stickers much more difficult but I won't get into the logistics here)
Given most artists state in their ToS that art sold to a commissioner is theirs to keep and they can do as they please with it, I feel like that SHOULDN'T rub up against any problems... key word: shouldn't. If not, I can always adjust and learn as I grow, right?
But, ultimately, I'd really appreciate your thoughts on all of this.
tl;dr: I got "tricked" into learning how to make stuff and it's fun actually - would you guys wanna buy physical stickers of your OCs to put on stuff? haha jk unless...
_______________________________________________________________________________________
With that being said, please please let me know what you think about all of this. Any considerations I'm not currently wary of, if there's even interest at all. Would YOU buy stickers? Do you think OTHERS would buy stickers? Hell, it doesn't have to stop at just stickers - maybe I can eventually build a full printing service for con badges or keychains... maybe one day, I'll even begin selling embroidered merchandise if that's where my path takes me. All I can say is that I've never felt so inspired to create something outside of writing like this before, and I want to share it with as many people as I can.
And I've got one more journal coming soon. Mostly me being a big sap, as a heads up. But thank you for reading it all - it means a lot to me and I appreciate you all so much. Seriously. <3
GRYNN WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN???
Posted 2 years agoUh... hello! Sorry for not being super active on here.
I wish I had a good excuse, but the truth is that... I... don't? Okay, that's a bit of a lie, so let me explain.
Since my last update, things have been quite stable and I've been able to do most of the things that I outlined: I built up some savings, I bought a new computer that's great as hell, I still have a job, I have a nice little car for city driving, and I've been coasting for the past while. For a while, I was getting a couple new commissions but nothing at the same speed that I used to while I was rebuilding from my larger purchases, but then there was a sudden blip where I just sorta... vanished for a while. That was because I had to deal with THE BIG BILL.
What was THE BIG BILL?
I'm being facetious for dramatic effect, but for context, phone plans in Canada are on a two year cycle and while it's possible to purchase a phone right away and simply pay for your monthly plan afterwards, practically all of the major phone companies push VERY STRONGLY to enter into leasing plans. Telus has Bring-It-Back, Rogers has Upfront Edge, Bell has the Device Return Option, etc etc. You "save" money upfront on the phone itself because you're expected to bring it back and change to a new phone, where you "save" money upfront on the phone itself because you're expected to bring it back and... you get the idea.
If you're a normal person and just want to keep the phone you have because an S21 is virtually no different than a S23 because innovation in the cell phone industry is dead and tinkering with the camera a little is all that's supposedly needed to justify new flagship phone models these days, then you have two options: return it and upgrade anyways, or pay the money you "saved" at the start of the plan to keep it and finally own the phone.
In my case, that ended up being almost $700 CAD.
But you said you were fine monetarily just now.
Oh, I am! You have nothing to worry about, promise. But do you know that feeling when you know you have an appointment halfway through the day, but because you don't want to be late for the appointment, you end up completely PARALYZED and unable to do anything else until you go do what you need to do?
I had that very thing happen, but with spending. I got notification that my 2 year plan was ending in April and I owed the $700 soon. So, I preemptively began to save so it would take less of a hit on my account once it finally came. I expected to pay it off in May, and despite going directly to a store to try and pay it off sooner, they told me to just "wait for the bill and it'll automatically show up there". May came around and... no $700 bill. I'm still trying to save and wait for this big payment to come in, but then I learn there's an entire month "grace period" window to give people more of a chance to return the phone. Even though I want to keep it. So that paralysis lingers until I finally get to pay it off at the beginning of JUNE.
But now that means that due to the feeling of "gotta save gotta save here comes the big bill", I wasn't reaching out to commission virtually anything during that time period... hence the sudden blip in nothing for a while.
So... THAT sucked. With the way an artist's workflow usually goes, I tend to commission roughly 5-6 pictures at a time so I have a steady flow of new art coming in of varying subjects and degrees. Sure, that sounds a lot in text, but when you account for an artist's queue, then the sketching and vetting process, then colors, then shading, and that each artist has a different rate at which they complete their pieces, it means that (normally) that art doesn't come together in one burst. My current commission count that I'm waiting on is currently sitting at... zero.
So, with ALL of that being said, I've got some more backlog pieces to post for the time being, and I'm gonna try and rev up the commission list again and get some fun things. As for what... I dunno yet! I can only hope that you all enjoy it.
Oh, and expect a new journal rather soon - I need to discuss some future big ideas and some other things that have happened over the past while.
For now, I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves, and Happy Canada Day!
I wish I had a good excuse, but the truth is that... I... don't? Okay, that's a bit of a lie, so let me explain.
Since my last update, things have been quite stable and I've been able to do most of the things that I outlined: I built up some savings, I bought a new computer that's great as hell, I still have a job, I have a nice little car for city driving, and I've been coasting for the past while. For a while, I was getting a couple new commissions but nothing at the same speed that I used to while I was rebuilding from my larger purchases, but then there was a sudden blip where I just sorta... vanished for a while. That was because I had to deal with THE BIG BILL.
What was THE BIG BILL?
I'm being facetious for dramatic effect, but for context, phone plans in Canada are on a two year cycle and while it's possible to purchase a phone right away and simply pay for your monthly plan afterwards, practically all of the major phone companies push VERY STRONGLY to enter into leasing plans. Telus has Bring-It-Back, Rogers has Upfront Edge, Bell has the Device Return Option, etc etc. You "save" money upfront on the phone itself because you're expected to bring it back and change to a new phone, where you "save" money upfront on the phone itself because you're expected to bring it back and... you get the idea.
If you're a normal person and just want to keep the phone you have because an S21 is virtually no different than a S23 because innovation in the cell phone industry is dead and tinkering with the camera a little is all that's supposedly needed to justify new flagship phone models these days, then you have two options: return it and upgrade anyways, or pay the money you "saved" at the start of the plan to keep it and finally own the phone.
In my case, that ended up being almost $700 CAD.
But you said you were fine monetarily just now.
Oh, I am! You have nothing to worry about, promise. But do you know that feeling when you know you have an appointment halfway through the day, but because you don't want to be late for the appointment, you end up completely PARALYZED and unable to do anything else until you go do what you need to do?
I had that very thing happen, but with spending. I got notification that my 2 year plan was ending in April and I owed the $700 soon. So, I preemptively began to save so it would take less of a hit on my account once it finally came. I expected to pay it off in May, and despite going directly to a store to try and pay it off sooner, they told me to just "wait for the bill and it'll automatically show up there". May came around and... no $700 bill. I'm still trying to save and wait for this big payment to come in, but then I learn there's an entire month "grace period" window to give people more of a chance to return the phone. Even though I want to keep it. So that paralysis lingers until I finally get to pay it off at the beginning of JUNE.
But now that means that due to the feeling of "gotta save gotta save here comes the big bill", I wasn't reaching out to commission virtually anything during that time period... hence the sudden blip in nothing for a while.
So... THAT sucked. With the way an artist's workflow usually goes, I tend to commission roughly 5-6 pictures at a time so I have a steady flow of new art coming in of varying subjects and degrees. Sure, that sounds a lot in text, but when you account for an artist's queue, then the sketching and vetting process, then colors, then shading, and that each artist has a different rate at which they complete their pieces, it means that (normally) that art doesn't come together in one burst. My current commission count that I'm waiting on is currently sitting at... zero.
So, with ALL of that being said, I've got some more backlog pieces to post for the time being, and I'm gonna try and rev up the commission list again and get some fun things. As for what... I dunno yet! I can only hope that you all enjoy it.
Oh, and expect a new journal rather soon - I need to discuss some future big ideas and some other things that have happened over the past while.
For now, I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves, and Happy Canada Day!
Update - some good news, for a change
Posted 3 years agoHey everyone.
First off, I just want to thank each and every one of you for your kind wishes over the past month. From complete elation and overwhelming love to suffocating depression and pain, I feel like I've been through a lot... truth be told, I've been dealing with a lot more than I've let on, as well. Since I graduated from university a few months ago, I've been looking desperately for some kind of job, and failing to get anything of value whatsoever. I've been trying every single entry level position I can possibly imagine, everywhere I possibly could, and I've struggled to find even the most mundane minimum wage part time position available. It left me in a serious state of panic and heavily affected my mental state even before everything this month happened, especially because payments needed to begin on my student loans in November, and I hadn't secured even a basic source of income.
I'm intensely grateful for a close friend of mine, though - he managed to secure me an interview for a place that he works at, and tomorrow (well, later today), I start my first shift. Sure, it's retail and it's minimum wage, but it's full time and it's relatively close to home, which means for the first time in a long while... I finally have a source of income. I'll need to continue looking for something better, consider my next options for the future, but for the immediate present, I'm relieved beyond words to know that I'll have at least SOMETHING coming in, you know? Every single issue that I have at the moment has required me having some kind of money in order for me to start moving forward, and now that I have that, I can finally begin to look toward my future... one step at a time, of course.
What are these first steps then?
My first and most immediate goals are the following:
(1) Repay lingering debts with friends for commission pieces and other acts of kindness
Simply put, when I realized that my funds were going to run out, a few friends who I already had immediate arrangements for commissions and other purchases took it upon themselves to cover my parts of those expenses, and I really, really hate being in a position where I owe folks money. The first thing I want to make sure of is that I'm honoring the promises I've made to those folks, including
LykusFrayseeker and 
Rhyzern. I also had to delay commissions from artists who I've left waiting for way too long, and discuss what plans I have for that once my funds stabilize a little more.
(2) Get a new computer + "new" vehicle
The new vehicle is more of a misnomer, in this case. In truth, the family's current vehicle is going to be handed down to me once they go and purchase a new one for themselves, but that means that I'll have permanent transportation that won't require monthly purchases. Simply gas, insurance, and upkeep. I'm intensely grateful for this, as well as the promise made to me upon graduating that I'll be given a good chunk of money to put towards a new computer to replace my now approaching 8 year old laptop that I've used for my main device. As soon as things settle down here, I'll have them honor their promise and I'm going to get myself a brand new computer that will run leagues better than this poor thing can, which means I'll finally have the ability to do so much more online than before. This computer is one of my biggest priorities above everything else, so having a good chunk of money to add to the value provided to me will make sure I can go out of my way to secure a real high end PC that'll last me as long as this current laptop has.
(3) Building a savings buffer
Given how dicey the past few months have been, I feel it's in my best interest to build at least some small nest egg for future emergencies that I can call upon in case something bad happens. As someone who watched debt destroy other family members, I would rather not end up relying on credit card debt or dig myself a hole I can never climb out of, if that makes sense.
What about commissions?
While I know it's not something I should worry about, or something others should worry about since the rate of art I receive shouldn't impact the way people see or treat me, I still like to discuss what's going on behind the scenes so folks can get an understand of what's happening or what to expect. Due to the previous points, it's probably not in my best interest to look immediately into getting new art, since I want to pay back the people I owe money and focus on things that have been required for a long time now. However, I will say that I currently have around 18 pictures (15 if not counting alts) that I still need to upload here. I try and space out my posts so that the original artists can get as much as they can from their posting before I post my own, but due to everything going on, you can tell it's been tough to find the time and energy to come up with stories or witty descriptions for some of these. I'd love to get more art, but I'll have to take things slow for the first bit and I'm sorry if these are pictures you've already seen elsewhere. The views and likes still mean the world to me, and while sometimes I'm bad at responding, I do try my best where I can to show my appreciation. Seriously, thank you so much for being there for me.
This entire year has been hell, to be honest. I sincerely hope that things begin to improve from this point on, and I'm going to try and keep my chin up. I'm still raw from losing Maisey, I'm still hurt from how long I've had to fight for even the most basic of jobs, but I'm going to take this opportunity and run with it. And I hope, sincerely, that you find the patience for me and stick around for whatever I end up getting next once the dust finally starts to settle and I try and find my footing towards a better future.
I love you guys, keep safe out there.
First off, I just want to thank each and every one of you for your kind wishes over the past month. From complete elation and overwhelming love to suffocating depression and pain, I feel like I've been through a lot... truth be told, I've been dealing with a lot more than I've let on, as well. Since I graduated from university a few months ago, I've been looking desperately for some kind of job, and failing to get anything of value whatsoever. I've been trying every single entry level position I can possibly imagine, everywhere I possibly could, and I've struggled to find even the most mundane minimum wage part time position available. It left me in a serious state of panic and heavily affected my mental state even before everything this month happened, especially because payments needed to begin on my student loans in November, and I hadn't secured even a basic source of income.
I'm intensely grateful for a close friend of mine, though - he managed to secure me an interview for a place that he works at, and tomorrow (well, later today), I start my first shift. Sure, it's retail and it's minimum wage, but it's full time and it's relatively close to home, which means for the first time in a long while... I finally have a source of income. I'll need to continue looking for something better, consider my next options for the future, but for the immediate present, I'm relieved beyond words to know that I'll have at least SOMETHING coming in, you know? Every single issue that I have at the moment has required me having some kind of money in order for me to start moving forward, and now that I have that, I can finally begin to look toward my future... one step at a time, of course.
What are these first steps then?
My first and most immediate goals are the following:
(1) Repay lingering debts with friends for commission pieces and other acts of kindness
Simply put, when I realized that my funds were going to run out, a few friends who I already had immediate arrangements for commissions and other purchases took it upon themselves to cover my parts of those expenses, and I really, really hate being in a position where I owe folks money. The first thing I want to make sure of is that I'm honoring the promises I've made to those folks, including
LykusFrayseeker and 
Rhyzern. I also had to delay commissions from artists who I've left waiting for way too long, and discuss what plans I have for that once my funds stabilize a little more.(2) Get a new computer + "new" vehicle
The new vehicle is more of a misnomer, in this case. In truth, the family's current vehicle is going to be handed down to me once they go and purchase a new one for themselves, but that means that I'll have permanent transportation that won't require monthly purchases. Simply gas, insurance, and upkeep. I'm intensely grateful for this, as well as the promise made to me upon graduating that I'll be given a good chunk of money to put towards a new computer to replace my now approaching 8 year old laptop that I've used for my main device. As soon as things settle down here, I'll have them honor their promise and I'm going to get myself a brand new computer that will run leagues better than this poor thing can, which means I'll finally have the ability to do so much more online than before. This computer is one of my biggest priorities above everything else, so having a good chunk of money to add to the value provided to me will make sure I can go out of my way to secure a real high end PC that'll last me as long as this current laptop has.
(3) Building a savings buffer
Given how dicey the past few months have been, I feel it's in my best interest to build at least some small nest egg for future emergencies that I can call upon in case something bad happens. As someone who watched debt destroy other family members, I would rather not end up relying on credit card debt or dig myself a hole I can never climb out of, if that makes sense.
What about commissions?
While I know it's not something I should worry about, or something others should worry about since the rate of art I receive shouldn't impact the way people see or treat me, I still like to discuss what's going on behind the scenes so folks can get an understand of what's happening or what to expect. Due to the previous points, it's probably not in my best interest to look immediately into getting new art, since I want to pay back the people I owe money and focus on things that have been required for a long time now. However, I will say that I currently have around 18 pictures (15 if not counting alts) that I still need to upload here. I try and space out my posts so that the original artists can get as much as they can from their posting before I post my own, but due to everything going on, you can tell it's been tough to find the time and energy to come up with stories or witty descriptions for some of these. I'd love to get more art, but I'll have to take things slow for the first bit and I'm sorry if these are pictures you've already seen elsewhere. The views and likes still mean the world to me, and while sometimes I'm bad at responding, I do try my best where I can to show my appreciation. Seriously, thank you so much for being there for me.
This entire year has been hell, to be honest. I sincerely hope that things begin to improve from this point on, and I'm going to try and keep my chin up. I'm still raw from losing Maisey, I'm still hurt from how long I've had to fight for even the most basic of jobs, but I'm going to take this opportunity and run with it. And I hope, sincerely, that you find the patience for me and stick around for whatever I end up getting next once the dust finally starts to settle and I try and find my footing towards a better future.
I love you guys, keep safe out there.
I'm tired, I'm hurting, and I just lost my poor little gi...
Posted 3 years agoThe past two weeks, ever since my birthday, have been... nothing short of hell. From all of the well wishes and the love I got, to this... absolute fucking nightmare I've been currently dealing with, and I don't know what I did wrong to deserve it.
We found out that our little girl, Maisey, had something called protein losing enteropathy, and it was caused by some underlying issue. We believed it to be something to do with her kidneys or intestines, so she was given a bunch of medication to take and an adjusted diet. All we needed to do was take care of her and things would've been okay, right?
Well, both parents had to leave town to move everything across the country for my sister so she can go to university, so all of that extensive care now fell upon me. During that period, alone and anxious, she slowly deteriorated - she barely ate anything despite the vet saying she'd want to eat more because of the steroids, she barely drank anything despite saying she'd drink more on the prednisone, she barely moved... she was horribly sick, and we had no idea what the underlying cause was for this PLE.
Just a few days later, a main line clog made it impossible to use the bathroom, and the tub and toilet started flooding with sewage water backup. We were told someone will come by the next day to fix it. When they came to fix it, the guy said there was a leak in the toilet, dismantled the thing and left the open sewage pipe there... which flooded the bathroom, the carpeted hallway, into the master bedroom, under the wall and into the closet beside the bathroom. Had to use every towel we owned to try and keep it from going further, and it took 2 hours of flooding for someone to decide to come back, notice the flooding, then show up to vacuum ONLY the tile flooring with their industrial vacuum... and not the carpet. So we had to chase the guy down, make him come back and actually vacuum everything out properly.
The next several days were just... cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Mopping floors, remopping floors, vacuuming and shampooing carpets, revacuuming and reshampooing carpets, laundry load after laundry load after laundry load. And yet we still didn't even have our bathroom usage back until a day after that. Around four days total without a toilet, a shower, a sink.
Maisey just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse. After a while, she stopped eating what little chicken she would take, she wouldn't eat any of the chicken broth rice we were told to make for her by the vet, she wouldn't even take treats... not even fucking treats, man... the only thing I could get her to stomach was some little cut up hot dog... and that was it. I tried everything I could, literally everything, and nothing worked...
I had to take her to the vet to get more bloodwork done, but immediately, I noticed she was acting a lot differently from the night before... she was stumbling, running into the wall and fridge, I held little hot dog bits in front of her and she swerved and missed the food that was right in front of her... I brought it up to the people at the vet, but they downplayed the wobbling. Supposedly she had episodes like this before and it was due to anxiety, that she needed to be calmed down and cradled close. So... I spent the next three hours on the couch... holding her close... just whispering to her that she would be okay, that I was there... but then I got a call from the vet again, and the blood tests came back. None of the medicine was working. Her white blood cells were too high. Her red blood cells were too low. She was at risk of sudden bleeding. Her proteins were all off. She needed to go to a proper hospital ASAP. My heart sank. I knew it was coming.
I only just got my license not even a month ago, and I had to take her across the city to this hospital, where they checked her vitals before we sat together... just me and her in a personal waiting room for almost 5 hours together... for the first time in what felt like weeks, she was falling asleep after struggling to, and I knew the writing was on the wall. The vets confirmed it from there... abdominal bloating from the PLE, kidney damage, heart murmur, weak breath, her entire right side of her body was delayed... so we found the reason for the sudden PLE - brain tumor. My parents are still on the other side of the country. I can't possibly let my sister watch our dog just... die in my arms... so I had to do it all alone. At 12:34am, she passed, squirming in my arms, and there was nothing I could do... not a single thing...
I always joke about hating my dogs... my parents are terrible at training them, they make a lot of messes so it's a constant battle to clean up after them, and they're little dogs so when one starts barking, they ALL start barking. Sometimes it can be annoying, and of course I get irritated at the lack of effort to train them right. But at the end of the day, Maisey really grew to be my favorite of them all. At first, she HATED me. She attached herself immediately to my mom and barked at me every single time she'd see me, growling... but after a few months, the protective bark turned into an excited one... every time she'd see me... she'd bound over blankets and lick my hand before randomly starting to bite me, almost like Grynn would other folks. And I'd always make a big huff about it like "WHY ARE YOU BITING ME, MAISEY?!" but I'd always let her nibble my finger with her half-gummed mouth. She had the most personality of all the 3 dogs, she was the last of them to be adopted... and the first to die. All I could do was hold her close and try to make her last moments not as terrifying... but I knew they were... overnight, she lost neurological function, she went to her least favorite place twice, and her favorite people, Mom and Dad, were nowhere to be found... they had been gone for two weeks... and were never there to see her to say goodbye... only me.
We sincerely thought she could recover, live a more lethargic life for a few more years, eat different food... but she's gone now. And she's never coming back.
I'm not going to be in a good place for a while. I'm really sorry.
We found out that our little girl, Maisey, had something called protein losing enteropathy, and it was caused by some underlying issue. We believed it to be something to do with her kidneys or intestines, so she was given a bunch of medication to take and an adjusted diet. All we needed to do was take care of her and things would've been okay, right?
Well, both parents had to leave town to move everything across the country for my sister so she can go to university, so all of that extensive care now fell upon me. During that period, alone and anxious, she slowly deteriorated - she barely ate anything despite the vet saying she'd want to eat more because of the steroids, she barely drank anything despite saying she'd drink more on the prednisone, she barely moved... she was horribly sick, and we had no idea what the underlying cause was for this PLE.
Just a few days later, a main line clog made it impossible to use the bathroom, and the tub and toilet started flooding with sewage water backup. We were told someone will come by the next day to fix it. When they came to fix it, the guy said there was a leak in the toilet, dismantled the thing and left the open sewage pipe there... which flooded the bathroom, the carpeted hallway, into the master bedroom, under the wall and into the closet beside the bathroom. Had to use every towel we owned to try and keep it from going further, and it took 2 hours of flooding for someone to decide to come back, notice the flooding, then show up to vacuum ONLY the tile flooring with their industrial vacuum... and not the carpet. So we had to chase the guy down, make him come back and actually vacuum everything out properly.
The next several days were just... cleaning. Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. Mopping floors, remopping floors, vacuuming and shampooing carpets, revacuuming and reshampooing carpets, laundry load after laundry load after laundry load. And yet we still didn't even have our bathroom usage back until a day after that. Around four days total without a toilet, a shower, a sink.
Maisey just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse. After a while, she stopped eating what little chicken she would take, she wouldn't eat any of the chicken broth rice we were told to make for her by the vet, she wouldn't even take treats... not even fucking treats, man... the only thing I could get her to stomach was some little cut up hot dog... and that was it. I tried everything I could, literally everything, and nothing worked...
I had to take her to the vet to get more bloodwork done, but immediately, I noticed she was acting a lot differently from the night before... she was stumbling, running into the wall and fridge, I held little hot dog bits in front of her and she swerved and missed the food that was right in front of her... I brought it up to the people at the vet, but they downplayed the wobbling. Supposedly she had episodes like this before and it was due to anxiety, that she needed to be calmed down and cradled close. So... I spent the next three hours on the couch... holding her close... just whispering to her that she would be okay, that I was there... but then I got a call from the vet again, and the blood tests came back. None of the medicine was working. Her white blood cells were too high. Her red blood cells were too low. She was at risk of sudden bleeding. Her proteins were all off. She needed to go to a proper hospital ASAP. My heart sank. I knew it was coming.
I only just got my license not even a month ago, and I had to take her across the city to this hospital, where they checked her vitals before we sat together... just me and her in a personal waiting room for almost 5 hours together... for the first time in what felt like weeks, she was falling asleep after struggling to, and I knew the writing was on the wall. The vets confirmed it from there... abdominal bloating from the PLE, kidney damage, heart murmur, weak breath, her entire right side of her body was delayed... so we found the reason for the sudden PLE - brain tumor. My parents are still on the other side of the country. I can't possibly let my sister watch our dog just... die in my arms... so I had to do it all alone. At 12:34am, she passed, squirming in my arms, and there was nothing I could do... not a single thing...
I always joke about hating my dogs... my parents are terrible at training them, they make a lot of messes so it's a constant battle to clean up after them, and they're little dogs so when one starts barking, they ALL start barking. Sometimes it can be annoying, and of course I get irritated at the lack of effort to train them right. But at the end of the day, Maisey really grew to be my favorite of them all. At first, she HATED me. She attached herself immediately to my mom and barked at me every single time she'd see me, growling... but after a few months, the protective bark turned into an excited one... every time she'd see me... she'd bound over blankets and lick my hand before randomly starting to bite me, almost like Grynn would other folks. And I'd always make a big huff about it like "WHY ARE YOU BITING ME, MAISEY?!" but I'd always let her nibble my finger with her half-gummed mouth. She had the most personality of all the 3 dogs, she was the last of them to be adopted... and the first to die. All I could do was hold her close and try to make her last moments not as terrifying... but I knew they were... overnight, she lost neurological function, she went to her least favorite place twice, and her favorite people, Mom and Dad, were nowhere to be found... they had been gone for two weeks... and were never there to see her to say goodbye... only me.
We sincerely thought she could recover, live a more lethargic life for a few more years, eat different food... but she's gone now. And she's never coming back.
I'm not going to be in a good place for a while. I'm really sorry.
Happy birthday to me! A yearly update
Posted 3 years agoHappy birthday to me! The big 30... also whoops. I don't usually do journals since there's not really much for me to bring up or talk about, and I don't really like poking people about stuff that's relatively minor and all.
I hope you're all doing well and that things are okay on your end. On my end, I graduated back in April but I'm currently in a state of... limbo. I've been looking for a job, but I haven't been able to find much of anything, unfortunately. What this means for you guys, though, is that I don't have any incoming art due to not having the money to afford anything like that at the moment, and with my future so uncertain, I can't make any guarantees that I'll be able to afford art at the same rate and quality that I could get before. I'm hoping the future changes that, but of course, I can't be certain until that happens.
Sometimes I do worry that if I don't continue to provide art that folks will be less interested in me or want to stick around. All I can hope is that that's not the case, and even if some folks aren't willing to stick around until things improve, then I know that they weren't around for the right reasons, you know? Regardless, thank you all for being so patient with me and understanding while I try and take these next steps forward. While I'm not sure where I'm going to end up, whether it's in a more basic position or if I decide to continue with my education, I'm finally taking steps forward which is more than I can see for what my life was several years ago.
While I don't tend to post stuff here besides art, I'm usually a little more active over on Twitter at @CharrGrynn - you'll find me retweeting the usual fun stuff, like inflation, weight gain, growth, rubber, etc etc etc... sometimes big cats. You know, the usual stuff from me!
Still, thank you so much for being patient and understanding with me, and the support and happy birthday wishes from everyone so far have been fantastic. Thank you, and here's to another good hear hopefully! <3
I hope you're all doing well and that things are okay on your end. On my end, I graduated back in April but I'm currently in a state of... limbo. I've been looking for a job, but I haven't been able to find much of anything, unfortunately. What this means for you guys, though, is that I don't have any incoming art due to not having the money to afford anything like that at the moment, and with my future so uncertain, I can't make any guarantees that I'll be able to afford art at the same rate and quality that I could get before. I'm hoping the future changes that, but of course, I can't be certain until that happens.
Sometimes I do worry that if I don't continue to provide art that folks will be less interested in me or want to stick around. All I can hope is that that's not the case, and even if some folks aren't willing to stick around until things improve, then I know that they weren't around for the right reasons, you know? Regardless, thank you all for being so patient with me and understanding while I try and take these next steps forward. While I'm not sure where I'm going to end up, whether it's in a more basic position or if I decide to continue with my education, I'm finally taking steps forward which is more than I can see for what my life was several years ago.
While I don't tend to post stuff here besides art, I'm usually a little more active over on Twitter at @CharrGrynn - you'll find me retweeting the usual fun stuff, like inflation, weight gain, growth, rubber, etc etc etc... sometimes big cats. You know, the usual stuff from me!
Still, thank you so much for being patient and understanding with me, and the support and happy birthday wishes from everyone so far have been fantastic. Thank you, and here's to another good hear hopefully! <3
It's my birthday... again!
Posted 4 years agoI went to type "It's my birthday!" as the title and realized I already had one with the same name. Damn, can't believe I'm 29 years old... so close to 30 at this point.
Adjusted folders, update on incoming art, and thoughts
Posted 4 years agoHey everyone! Hope you're staying safe and doing alright on your end.
I just went through my account and tried to clean up the folders a little more for better ease of access. The main Grynn folder is still the dumping ground for anything involving him as a character but I've tried to separate the kinks better for ease of access. I know it won't appease everyone and I'm sure there are some things in some of those folders that won't appeal to EVERYONE, but I figured it's the best place I can put those pictures since they're mostly captured by its theme and feel. Hopefully this makes checking for specific pictures easier for you all!
As for incoming art... I have a good backlog of stuff that I have ready to post and other pieces that are on the way. My list of incoming art is getting shorter, though I'll probably start trying to get more commissions lined up wherever I can. School has been making things extra difficult, so that's why you see the longer delays between posts than I normally would.
Most of the pictures that I get tend to be released on my Twitter (either by the artists or by myself) sooner than I can post them here, so if you want them sooner than later, it's best to keep an eye over there. Still, showing support over here is still INCREDIBLY appreciated! It always makes me so happy to see people enjoying the stuff I get as much as I do, especially when the content is... more out there than usual.
Going through my older pictures, I realized just how scared I was to get commissions of things that I deemed "too weird" or "not appealing enough," and it's super obvious by the big gap between the original art I used to get done and the stuff that I'm more comfortable with commissioning these days. I was always afraid that people would think of me the wrong way, or see something inherently disgusting if I got commissions of kinks that are great for me but nowhere in the ballpark of enjoyable for others. There was a period where my main goal in getting commissions shifted from things I truly wanted, things that only I could get, to things that would be suited for a wider audience, in fear that I'd be labeled gross, strange, unapproachable, etc.
You can tell from my gallery - my tastes in kinks are so diverse and broad that it's hard to really nail down any one thing that I truly enjoy. I think what really helped me out of that phase was all of the genuine support and encouragement that I received from not only my friends, but all of you continuing to reassure me that you're sticking around regardless of what nonsense Grynn gets himself into this week. So, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for all of your encouragement and support, and I really hope that you continue to look forward to whatever random piece pops up next, even if it's not your immediate cup of tea and you're holding out for something that's more aligned with your tastes.
I just went through my account and tried to clean up the folders a little more for better ease of access. The main Grynn folder is still the dumping ground for anything involving him as a character but I've tried to separate the kinks better for ease of access. I know it won't appease everyone and I'm sure there are some things in some of those folders that won't appeal to EVERYONE, but I figured it's the best place I can put those pictures since they're mostly captured by its theme and feel. Hopefully this makes checking for specific pictures easier for you all!
As for incoming art... I have a good backlog of stuff that I have ready to post and other pieces that are on the way. My list of incoming art is getting shorter, though I'll probably start trying to get more commissions lined up wherever I can. School has been making things extra difficult, so that's why you see the longer delays between posts than I normally would.
Most of the pictures that I get tend to be released on my Twitter (either by the artists or by myself) sooner than I can post them here, so if you want them sooner than later, it's best to keep an eye over there. Still, showing support over here is still INCREDIBLY appreciated! It always makes me so happy to see people enjoying the stuff I get as much as I do, especially when the content is... more out there than usual.
Going through my older pictures, I realized just how scared I was to get commissions of things that I deemed "too weird" or "not appealing enough," and it's super obvious by the big gap between the original art I used to get done and the stuff that I'm more comfortable with commissioning these days. I was always afraid that people would think of me the wrong way, or see something inherently disgusting if I got commissions of kinks that are great for me but nowhere in the ballpark of enjoyable for others. There was a period where my main goal in getting commissions shifted from things I truly wanted, things that only I could get, to things that would be suited for a wider audience, in fear that I'd be labeled gross, strange, unapproachable, etc.
You can tell from my gallery - my tastes in kinks are so diverse and broad that it's hard to really nail down any one thing that I truly enjoy. I think what really helped me out of that phase was all of the genuine support and encouragement that I received from not only my friends, but all of you continuing to reassure me that you're sticking around regardless of what nonsense Grynn gets himself into this week. So, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for all of your encouragement and support, and I really hope that you continue to look forward to whatever random piece pops up next, even if it's not your immediate cup of tea and you're holding out for something that's more aligned with your tastes.
Hey folks! Quick update
Posted 4 years agoHey everyone! I've got a bit of a backlog of stuff that I'm going to post here. At the moment, I'm just trying to space it out so I have some content for the next few weeks, though I still have plenty of art coming over the next while. I really hope you're looking forward to it!
I just want to say a HUGE thank you for over 2000 watchers! Words can't express just how grateful I am to each and every person that checks my account and is willing to watch. I know there are things that I commission that are well out of the tastes of the people that watch me sometimes, but the fact that you stick around regardless means the world. I've considered coming up with some kind of milestone raffle or something like that, but to be completely honest, I would have zero clue on how to enact that or what would be involved, and I would need to collaborate with an artist to make that happen in the first place. It's not that I haven't considered it, but as a commissioner, it's tough.
Besides, I feel like running something of the sort would cheapen the meaning behind those watches, and I wouldn't want people watching me for the sole sake of gaining something out of it beyond sharing the same excitement for the stuff that I commission that I do.
I think I'm going to start adjusting my folders again to better categorize the art pieces I get. I'm starting to notice that tossing literally everything in the Grynn the Charr folder, while accurate, should PROBABLY be segregated a little further into kink-based categories. That, or keep the Grynn folder as is and then make more folders that better fit the themes. Like... the blob folder could easily be fat, hyper muscle/growth could turn to hyper in general... I'll have to take a look at that.
Anyways, thank you so much for your continued support and I really hope you continue to enjoy my gallery as I keep getting new art!
I just want to say a HUGE thank you for over 2000 watchers! Words can't express just how grateful I am to each and every person that checks my account and is willing to watch. I know there are things that I commission that are well out of the tastes of the people that watch me sometimes, but the fact that you stick around regardless means the world. I've considered coming up with some kind of milestone raffle or something like that, but to be completely honest, I would have zero clue on how to enact that or what would be involved, and I would need to collaborate with an artist to make that happen in the first place. It's not that I haven't considered it, but as a commissioner, it's tough.
Besides, I feel like running something of the sort would cheapen the meaning behind those watches, and I wouldn't want people watching me for the sole sake of gaining something out of it beyond sharing the same excitement for the stuff that I commission that I do.
I think I'm going to start adjusting my folders again to better categorize the art pieces I get. I'm starting to notice that tossing literally everything in the Grynn the Charr folder, while accurate, should PROBABLY be segregated a little further into kink-based categories. That, or keep the Grynn folder as is and then make more folders that better fit the themes. Like... the blob folder could easily be fat, hyper muscle/growth could turn to hyper in general... I'll have to take a look at that.
Anyways, thank you so much for your continued support and I really hope you continue to enjoy my gallery as I keep getting new art!
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Posted 5 years agoHey! It's that cat again.
I just want to say thanks to each and every one of you for all of your support lately and wish you all a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays. Whatever you're celebrating (or not celebrating), I really hope it goes well for you, and that you're getting through everything as best as you can. This year has been nothing short of a catastrophic disaster, but even in these rough times, I hope that you find some moments of levity to catch your breath.
Please keep safe and healthy, and remember that you're loved.
I just want to say thanks to each and every one of you for all of your support lately and wish you all a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays. Whatever you're celebrating (or not celebrating), I really hope it goes well for you, and that you're getting through everything as best as you can. This year has been nothing short of a catastrophic disaster, but even in these rough times, I hope that you find some moments of levity to catch your breath.
Please keep safe and healthy, and remember that you're loved.
Reminder - Follow my Twitter
Posted 5 years agoHey everyone! I promise I'm still around, so don't you worry. I have a backlog of art to post and will be spacing it out over time. Though, if you're worried if I'm gone or anything, I'm active on Twitter and often retweet plenty of good stuff that passes by on my feed. I'd love to see you there!
Here's the link to my profile!
CharrGrynn
Here's the link to my profile!
CharrGrynn
It's my birthday!
Posted 5 years agoAugust 6~ I turn 28 this year.
I've got a couple pieces of art that I can upload here, but I just want to say that I'm much more active on Twitter these days - it's a lot easier to speak to people there than FA. Come follow me at https://twitter.com/CharrGrynn . I'll keep posting here since it's beneficial to keep a gallery, but I'd love to talk to more of you over there!
I've got a couple pieces of art that I can upload here, but I just want to say that I'm much more active on Twitter these days - it's a lot easier to speak to people there than FA. Come follow me at https://twitter.com/CharrGrynn . I'll keep posting here since it's beneficial to keep a gallery, but I'd love to talk to more of you over there!
Come follow me on Twitter!
Posted 5 years agoCharrGrynn: https://twitter.com/CharrGrynn?s=09
I retweet plenty of different kinds of NSFW and sometimes gets flirty there. I still use FA, but I find Twitter to be better to interact with folks on compared to this, so please go follow me there if you haven't yet!
I retweet plenty of different kinds of NSFW and sometimes gets flirty there. I still use FA, but I find Twitter to be better to interact with folks on compared to this, so please go follow me there if you haven't yet!
