GETTING 3 HOURS OF SLEEP BECAUSE THE TOOTHACHE FROM HELL CAME THE FUCK BACK WITH A FUCKING VENGEANCE.

I'd cmpare it to childbirth, but it's not the same.

CHILDBIRTH MAKES SENSE. Your uteruse is trying to turn itself inside out to squish out a watermelon sized baby.

WITH TOOTHACHE THERE IS NO ANGRY GNOME WITH A RED HOT POWER DRILL TRYING TO MINE ORE FROM YOUR SOCKET.

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

We have no heavy-duty painkillers right now so I maxed out my dose of Ibuprofen (usually I take 400mg, I've been told I can safely take 800mg so I am doing)

The usual trick of a hot damp towel is working too. Fuck yes I am now no longer in screaming, shaking, drooling, zombie agony.

I am however awake.

Fuck.

I'm gonna go eat and watch G.I. Joe whilst doodling.

But I guess I have some new people.

If you are new, hi. I whine a lot about how much I suck. Feel free to smack me in the face about it.

Anyway, my actual question.

What is it you like about my art?

I mean, I DO appreciate that people do genuinely like it. I'd just like to know WHAT they like. Just like people tend to have favourite parts in books or movies, I'd love to know what it is that made them watch me about my art.

Unless of course it's another of my very many Fucking Stupid Questions. In which case you can call me an idiot.

Meh.

I love how I try and get back into my drawing groove and it just... completely bottoms out. Thoroughly. I can't even doodle right now, nothing comes out any good at all.

Mood goes from okay to shitty to okay to fucking depressed as hell and back up again. Somethings help, others don't, more make it worse.

I just want to get better, to be better, to somehow do better. But I can't.

I cry over the stupidest fucking shit. Like right now, I'm welling up for no good reason other than the fact I feel utterly pointless.

I just watched Penny Serenade, so I think that's what caused the drop.

I don't know why things don't work anymore. I wish they would.

Hi, I'm Sid and I've managed to draw maybe three pages of utter crap in the past week.

HELLO ARTBLOCK. HOW NICE TO MEET YOU.

Damnit.

EDIT:

I would just also like to say that I'm glad there are people in the world who actually have an ounce of intelligence, as opposed to some of the utter moronic shits skulking about here.

If you're going to post an opinion with such a weight behind it as you do, don't turn around and go "LOL NO DRAMA COMMENTS I'LL HIDE THEM I DON'T WANT DRAMA". If you didn't want drama in the first place, you'd not post it at all or take it to a friends-locked journal, NOT to a public forum such as this.

Which, furthermore, leads me to think that a lot of people have a great misconception about suicide, it's causes and why people are driven to it. Which is a shame.

1) Movies. Specifically; Up, Lilo and Stitch, An American Tail and The Iron Giant.

2) Songs. Eva Cassidy's Over the Rainbow and Fields of Gold, a couple of Enya pieces, Ed Alleyne-Johnson's Orange (a live busking performance in particular) and When You Wish Upon a Star, which they "surprised" us with at Grandad's funeral. I broke walking in to hearing that and now I can't ever watch Pinocchio ever again. There are other songs that make me cry because of so much emotional attachments but I can't remember them all right now.

3) Nature. I don't like, properly cry, but some things will make me well up. Especially if it's beautifully shot; such as vast flocks of flamingoes or geese, scenery, whales. Good cinematography will move me incredibly.

4) People doing things out of the good of their heart and not because they have to/they want to get in any good books. There are people like this out there.

5) Stupid things like unecessary violence in movies. Best example I have is the lovebird scene in The Hills Have Eyes. Seriously, what the fuck was the point in that scene? There was none. There was already enough in there to get the point across.

6) Genocide.

7) Terminal illness.

8) My art. Seriously, I've beenn stuck in such a rut that whenever I start a piece I'm usually in tears shortly after giving up. It's stupid I know, but it happens.

9) People getting upset when I try to do something nice and it backfires. Or just anything nice I do backfiring.

10) People. Specifically two or three, will leave me in tears with very little effort on their part. Most of it's my own mind, but part of it's because shit always seems to happen whenever I finally find my own happiness, thus collapsing it into depression again. Fun times, no?

KITTENS AND BOOBIES AND PUPPIES AND SQUEAKY BABY BIRDIES.

for the second night in a row.

something in my mind keeps laughing "IT'S KATE ALL OVER AGAIN"

which is not a good thing

I feel sick to my stomach and I have no right to be.

Why is it I get to point of "okay" and then something sends me right back into depressed.

Stupid little things, stupid me.

It hurts and it's all my fault.

I'm a terrible person.

is in need of some help with vet bills and is offering commissions in order to make them, please take a look here and see if you can help them out!

has opened for REALLY AWESOME LITTLE SCULPTURE COMMISSIONS!

Go git one, they're ABSOFRIGGINLUTELY ADORABLE. I have seen dems. SO CUTE.

Go go go go go.

http://vintagelesbian.tumblr.com/

NSFW.

But awesome.

Doesn't matter if you like Gaga or not, the message rings true.

Sometimes I have no idea what it is I'm doing wrong.

I feel like it's my fault bad things happen to or around me. Like I'm somehow responsible for everything affecting me negatively when it's the last thing I want to happen.

But they happen, they get to me, I react badly and it spirals into a cycle of tremendous "fuck you".

So yes, fuck me for letting every single bad thing knock me back and back and back.

All I want is to talk again.

All I want is to be able to be happy...which is impossible right now.

That hole in my chest I talk about? It's not just grown. It's been blown wide open and there's no way on this earth that anything will close it right now, to give you all an idea of how I'm feeling exactly. It's a huge, empty, hollow feeling that echoes everything I've lost.

Yes, I may well have a defeatist attitude, but it's not without good reason and it's pretty much only a step or two away from plain old pessimism.

When you lose almost everything you love and keep losing more each day, you tell me how you'd feel.

Because right now I feel so very alone. So very, very alone.

Incapable of conversation.

Oh my gods that was awesome.

Now I have to play it instead of watching my brother.

NOBLE 6 GO.

A good friend of mine had her home broken into and, of their posessions stolen, were items with huge sentimental value.

Go here for more info - http://sizzybubbles.deviantart.com/.....rnal/35041607/ and if you see ANY of the things she describes cropping up, let her/the police know.

Good thing or bad thing? Personally I think it's a good thing, but we can only wait and see.

1. What do you think my character would have a job/career in?
2. What is unique about my character that you enjoy?
3. What are his/her flaws?
4. What are some changes you would like to see?
5. What would you like to see my character doing in future pictures?
6. How old does my character look?
7. On a scale of 1-10, how attractive is my character?
8. On a scale to 1-10, how sexually attractive is my character?
9. On a scale to 1-10, how well does my character fit me?
10. If you could, how would you personally change them to fit me better?

9/10 don't really have to apply as Cey is really only ever borrowed for a facade, ahah. But if you want to have a go, please do.

Slender-billed Vulture

Bali Starling

Philippine eagle

Kakapo

Chatham Island black robin

Waldrapp

Spix's macaw - extinct in the wild the last I knew.

Blue-throated macaw - a surprise to me, as they're seen rather readily as pets.

There are a lot more out there as well as many more reptiles, amphibians, insects and mammals that don't get half the attention the "poster child" species do.

Just sayin'

Parents need bills paying and as I live here I need to contribute [I HAVE BEEN DOING, this is just more]. We're pretty much broke.

I hate to do this because so many people I know need the money more than I do but I'm willing to sell a 50+ page sketchbook with every page used and a bunch of watercoloured pages included.

I'll take a theme or anything except blatant porn, erotica is okay but lots of porn wouldn't settle with me.

Need this kind of urgently, so if you can come up with anything suitable please drop me a note or an email or leave a comment.

I'm really not well and the stress right now is just compounding everything.

Thankyou.

Edit: In regards to the Halo Reach I bought, I regret it now even though at the time I thought things were fine. Can't help it now, though.

Sore throat has exploded into Face-Filling Cold of Doom.

My head is so clogged up.

My immune system is fucking FIRED ALL OVER AGAIN.

And we are out of decongestants.

/baww.

Will stop being bitchy sometime.

If it says VULVA MEME in the fucking TITLE and hey you have this whole issue with these things, DON'T FUCKING CLICK ON THEM AND THEN BAWW ABOUT IT. Jesus nobody is forcing you to look at them and they are FAR from the worst things on FA.

It's no worse than the real body meme, so just stfu and get over it already.

They are fun.

Sorry I didn't rush to a doctor on Saturday for having one.

If it turns into laryngitis or some severe throat infection you can just laugh at me, okay? Tell me how much of a fucking idiot I am.

Another fitful night.

Drinking lots more water as I'm dehydrating like fuck.

Got GAME thing sorted.

Am pretty convinced I'm being avoided, which makes me feel awesome :/

Didn't mean to open my stupid mouth again.