First off, hi. Been a while since I've been mentally right enough to poke my head out from my self-imposed exile, hasn't it? I appreciate the notes and shouts I've been seeing, even if I've been too shy to reply directly. And yes, I mean 'shy', my self esteem issues got pretty out of hand for a while with continuing conga line of calamity that has been reality. I have been getting professional help for it, and now that the retail hell season is winding down I should be able to have more free time to actually start interacting with people.

I'm going to try really hard to stop apologizing for pretty much everything I do. There's things I know I can't control that I should not blame myself for happening. Life goes on, there's no reason for me to hide from it, there are people who love me and care about me.

Also, AEW is pretty good stuff. That, Chicago Bulls basketball, and British comedies.

As for here and all the characters in the Deke-verse, I haven't decided what's going to happen. Do I join up to another wrestling league, keep my stuff separate, start up whole new characters, etc... That's a future Deke question. For now, I've got roughly 2200 submissions to start sorting through, stuff starting from like May 2020, now that I'm at the point where I feel like my favorite votes are worth receiving.

Dang I have a lot of catching up to do.
-Deke

Hey folks. Deke Williams/Deke W here. For the few that have kept tabs on me the past few years, you've probably noticed that me officially checking in and being active has been a rare thing. It's a sort of long story, so if you want to skip to the last paragraph of this to avoid getting sad feel free.

Anyway, When my father passed some eight years ago, my mother didn't take it well. She relied on him for so much that as her son I felt that I should help her move on and keep going through life as best she could. As the years passed she never really got past it, and really sort of went full hermit with the dogs to keep her company. Dad left her plenty of money, but she never touched any of it past the pension and what she got through social security, just staying home and watching bad TV, letting me do the housework. Aside from the rare lucky times I catch an art stream, my creativity and social life has been continually declining.

She's always had minor medical issues, but it wasn't until the past few months that things started to snowball. One thing starts acting up, and then the kidneys can't take the extra work, fluids get retained and swelling sets in, other organs get pressed and squeezed so they can't do their jobs, mobility gets harder and harder, dialysis efforts don't work.... She passed early Friday morning.

That leaves me to clean up after her for one last time. She wasn't a hoarder or anything but she didn't keep things all that organized either. I've got a whole lot of work ahead of me, sorting, filing, recycling, donating, shredding, and so, so many phone calls to make.

After that, though... I've got nothing. I've been working so hard to keep my mom safe and happy that my life has been on hold for years. Add in the Covid related furlough and my only human contact has been market cashiers and pixels on screens. Time to start over.

-Happy starts here-
Once all the paper work and cleaning is done, I'll be set fairly well, no financial issues. Work will be calling me back for the winter season and I've got the house to myself. All I need to do is figure out where all the cool kids are hanging out these days and if they'd want me to join them.

-Deke

So yea, I'm not dead, but I'm not quite feeling good enough to rejoin whatever online life I had. I'm just sort of indifferent to everything, nothing seems to be cheering me up like it used to. Except for https://imgur.com/t/aww , there's usually something there that keeps me sane.

-Deke

Uber rare Chinese Bunny-Mouse! http://news.nationalgeographic.com/.....-rare-species/

Look at that face.

Whoo.

Oh, you stupid fucking piece of shit why you gotta pull this crap at six in the morning? And of course getting a jump start from a neighbor isn't good enough, you fucker, you have to be more dead than the Wicked Witch of the East! Fucking munchkin coronor and everything!

Fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

You're going to be a bastard and cost me money to get towed and get your sorry ass replaced, aren't you? Selfish prick, I had plans for that money! Big plans! Sexy plans!

*half hour long string of profanity here*

If you got an e-mail from fearless_decoy[at]hotmail.com today, trash it, it's not from me.

I probably did something wrong because the thumbnails for the last two pictures I put up are black rectangles. I've tried to put new ones up but they aren't taking. I'd hate to have to re-upload the pictures, does anyone know how to fix it?

There's nothing like coming home after a day schlepping high end merchandise for obnoxiously rich folks and finding your terrier whining and limping badly. The ballpark figure is around $3,000 US for the surgery. Whee.

So how was your day?

I'm currently drugged out of my head and half asleep, but the surgery went aweseomely and things should be back to normal within the weeek or so.

-deke

As some of you folks know I've been having issues with a slightly herniating disc in my back. It's getting worse and really putting pressure on my sciatic nerve, so Friday I'm getting a microdiskectomy. And dang do I need this, I haven't been able to get a good night's sleep in a week.

The only thing keeping me sane is the Oxycodone, and I've noticed that I'm taking it more often this week. Last month I could go on one pill every other day. Last week it was up to two a day. Now I'm at one every 5 hours plus an additional sleep aid as prescribed by my doctor. I've been swinging from soreness to blinding pain over to grinning bliss today, and once I get this thing done I'll be able to ease off the medications and get my life back to normal.

Of course I'm going to be needing a new job, since my old one only allows for 3 months of non-pregnancy related medical leave, which ends on the day of my surgery. Whoop. But I've got stuff lined up and a ton of experience so I'm not worried. Once I get the cash flow back I can return to buying piccies of my characters.

Big thanks to the folks at the FWA for putting up with my griping and whining these past weeks.

-Deke

It's late, but I want to give thanks to everyone who's been supporting me these past few weeks and to wish a Merry Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, a Krazy Kwanzaa, a Tip Top Tet, and a solemn, eventful Ramadan to everyone. And if I've forgotten anyone just go out and enjoy the post holiday clearance sales.

So yeah, my father passed this morning.
Still trying to cope.

-Deke

Hey folks. I've got a few ideas for new characters but I need help fleshing them out, in both physical design and personality types. I don't know why but it seems like the characters I've been using lately have been one dimensional, caricatures more than real characters... Does anyone have links or guides to better character development, and/or ways for people with no art skills to sketch out body types?

So yeah, Mother Nature decided that 8 am Monday morning was a fine time to backhand the greater Chicagoland area with fast moving thunderstorms carrying 80 MPH winds. No real damage near me aside from my place being one of the 3/4 million that lost power. In 90+ degree heat and high humidity. Fun times. I had to take my pug and drive around so he could get some proper cooling from the car's A/C.

I do appreciate that ComEd worked around the clock to fix the outage, but getting power back at 2:45 in the morning came as a bit of a shock. I finally managed to get to sleep despite the heat when all the lights and the A/C fans kicked on, so I had to go around and close up all the windows I had open. Blerg. Missed a lot of good TV and missed out on a RP scene I was really looking forward to last night.

-Deke

So,  Yaita went and tagged me for one of these meme thingies, she would like me to list 9 facts about Lexi Page. Since it's good character building exercise I'll do it, but I'll be a meanie and not tag anyone unless they want to do it.

1. She's Canadian!

Born in a small town near Hudson Bay, Lexi's a proud Canuckistani girly-girl.

2. She's completely mundane!

No magical or special abilities, aside from being a babe.

3. She's a virgin!

Well, technically. She's fooled around with girls a few times but she has yet to have carnal relations with a guy. She's as pure as freshly fallen snow.

4. She's got a thng for foxes!

Lexi can develop schoolgirl crushes on hunky fox studs prety easily. I have yet to figure out why this is, but almost any fox or fox-like guy can trigger it.

5. She's a natural blonde!

Just trust me on this.

6. She used to be fat!

High school was hell for her, averaging about 200 pounds (about 90 kg) on her 5'6" frame made her quite the target for bullies and drama queens. But now she's the head cheerleader of the FWA and the source of nice dreams for all the men out there.

7. She is not a clever girl!

While she does have some common sense and can hold her own in a conversation, Lexi is pretty naieve and falls for pranks and traps fairly easily.

8. She'll knock you on your butt!

As part of her wrestling training, she spent months learning the finer points of boxing and has one pretty nasty left hook. Thanks Silver!

9. She's an absolute nut for curling!

It must be the Canadian part of her, but she's just enthralled by the sport and is pretty good at it. Not olympic level but she can throw rocks pretty well and knows how to handle a broom.

New Av, whee. Also, the title says it all.

Two fold journal entry here, first to clear off the message I wrote about a year ago and show that I haven't forgotten about this thing.

Secondly, I haven't had any art of my characters recently and they've changed enough where I think they need it. So I'm looking for artists who do good G to R rated art for reference guides or simple solo poses. Nothing hyper muscled, no huge racks, no extreme anything really, just 'realistic' body types of professional wrestlers. First on the list would be Shizuko, my slightly overweight bear bruiser from Japan. I'd like to spend at most $50 for a full color full body or upper body picture, but I can be flexible on the maximum. Anyone out there got friends who are open?

-Deke

Figured that I’d actually use this journal thing for once, considering what’s been going on the past week or so. First let me lay out a bit of back story for those of you who either don’t know me or I’ve lost touch with (which is mostly my fault). I’ve been a free-form RP enthusiast for years now, focusing mostly on wrestling based feds at various Yahoo groups. Most recently I’ve been happily participating at the FWA, and I’ve never been happier elsewhere. It’s the right blend of serious, funny, and overall enthralling scenes; not too much sex, not too puritan, not gender specific and with a good group of people to RP with.

That is, of course, until a few recent joiners sent the quality level into a tail spin. Two people in particular have brought in characters unsuitable for wrestling, shown poor RP skills, and used horrendous spelling and grammar without bothering to correct themselves. I know I’m not the only one they’ve been grating on, but to my knowledge I’m the only one that’s gone off on them publicly in the channel we use.

But then, of course, facts emerge that make me the bad guy: apparently they’re both severely dyslexic. They can’t help that they mangle the English language when they RP, despite one of them supposedly being A+ and CCNA certified. So the more good natured folks of the group try to go along with them while I sit and grind my teeth. The FWA is a purely text-based RP group, so to me this is like trying to play a pick-up game of basketball with a group of friends, but having to let the kid with the extra chromosome join in. Some people have the patience for it, but I come to the FWA to relax through RP, and frankly I just can’t do it if I’ve got to deal with someone else’s issues. And I can’t just put them on ignore, since there are people I want to interact with who won’t ignore them, which results in confusion.

It’s enough to make me yearn for the old Farm group.

So I’m left in a rather bad position. I can’t force the dyslexics to leave; they’re just as welcome to the FWA as I am. But on the other hand, I can’t really leave the FWA, there’s nowhere left for me to RP that has all of what I’m looking for. Not to mention I’d be leaving good friends that I’ve had lots of fun doing private and public scenes with. Guess the only thing I really can do is sit and wait, hoping for something to change somewhere so I’ve got reasons to write scenes, stories, and commission art for. At least I got that stimulus check thing, I can buy games or movies or something to pass the time.

-Deke