Now I'm not about to pretend I have anything worth stealing by our glorious new digital dollhouse overlords - far from it - but it might be a good excuse to clean house. As in: burn this one down and move on to pastures new. Man, I kind of wish I was insured, or something.

Having just looked through my gallery here, two things came to mind: one, that I barely make anything, and two, most of what there is here is really old and not really representative of my capabilities. I've been busy getting my degree for the last four years, cooped up in places not exactly conducive to creative pursuits (and being too short of time or energy regardless) and as such, my output has slowed to effectively nothing. I'll have to find a place to live and work to maintain myself in the coming months - if I can get the work-life balance right, hopefully I'll be in a position to start making things again in my free time. Probably not, though!
Ultimately I still have ambitions on doing something in a visual or semi-visual medium, but despite still drawing animal-folk and little else, I find myself increasingly disenamoured by the 'furry community' at large. I don't think I could even give a succinct reasoning as to why, short of incoherent grumblings about immaturity and squabbling and a lack of common ground and taking it both too damn seriously and not seriously enough. Maybe I'm just getting old.

This website is also a godforsaken relic with a poor record of ethical and structural integrity, so in that sense at least, I think I'd be glad to see the back of it. I'm going to mull it over for a few days and if I'm still of the same mind, I'm going to start deleting everything. If there's something here you like (fuck knows why that would be, but hey), it'd probably be prudent to save it to your hard drive now. I'd nuke this account and leave no trace, but that would require functionality, and we all know FurAffinity doesn't trade in such sordid commodities. Perish the thought! I'll probably still use it to lurk and comment here and there though, so long as the art keeps flowing like slightly acrid wine.

I honestly can't remember if I met anyone meaningful specifically through this site, but if I did: thank you/you're welcome. Probably.

If you want to keep in tabs of what little I'm doing, your best bets are:
Twitter (for random life musings)
Tumblr (for sporadic work-in-progress art and photos of shit I've bought)
Weasyl (the gallery I'll be maintaining whenever it is I finally start producing finished work, again)


Exit, stage right!

Hey hey, sweet FA. Ain't that something?

So I've been quiet on this shonkiest of edifices for quite some time, now: therefore, the obligation of guilt looms large, and I am compelled to fill you all in like a particularly turgid dessert pastry. Or something.

First and foremost, I'm alive and mostly very well, haphazardly teaching English in Vienna, Austria as part of my studies. There was some bureaucratic tumult in the opening months, not least of which was getting a reliable internet connection. But things are all running pretty smoothly now, and I'm thoroughly enjoying the sort of financial stability that's never been in my realm before. Been a bit sick for the past couple of weeks, briefly ended up in hospital with some stomach trouble, but nothing gravely serious.
Teaching is something I wasn't expecting to take to, but the fact that I'm not utterly dreadful at it has been a huge relief. Not sure I'll pursue it as a career long-term, but the experience is proving to be very valuable. Which is nice!

I've been treating myself to a few extravagances too: most relevant perhaps is the Cintiq 13HD that turned up a couple of days ago, which is a lovely little piece of hardware. As good as my old Intuos 4 was (and still is, I guess), the disconnect between the movement of the stylus and the strokes on-screen was something I always struggled with a little; drawing directly onto the display feels much more natural, and the few little doodles I've managed thus far have been pleasurable experiences. A worthwhile investment, I hope!
I also snagged a Wii U fairly recently too - idiosyncrasies aside, it's a lovely little machine and it's refreshing to have a system that feels so unabashedly 'gamey'. My Nintendo ID, if you fancy adding me, is FelixAndrews, as ever.

I write this as some nebulous shitstorm is going down regarding the management of this establishment, and while I've viewed them as somewhat salubrious for a good long while now, I'm distanced enough to not really give a toss. How callous of me!
It probably bears mentioning though, if you're crazy enough to actually like my drivel, that I'm a lot more active on Tumblr these days. I post most everything there, including sketches and works-in-progress (that normally don't reach fruition), and it does something to shake the not-entirely-untrue notion that I never do any work. Probably worth a quick shufty!

Thank you one-and-all. See you next mission.

Hello all,

Just to briefly let you all know: on Friday morning, I'll be leaving my current Uni dorm. Sometime later in September I'll emerge from an extended bout of sofa-surfing to find myself in Vienna, Austria - like some horrifying, portly butterfly.

I'm spending the next year of my withering existence over in Austria as a requirement of my degree, and while I'm frankly a bit terrified of things going wrong, I'm also hugely excited for the opportunity to live and work in such a storied and beautiful city, right in the heart of Europe. Should be good times, I hope!

I guess I'd better get back to packing, then.

Hallo mein Führries,

I recently picked up Animal Crossing: New Leaf for my 3DS - I can't get it online a heck of a lot due to networking snafus in my dorm room, but I do steal alternate wifi from time to time and, come September, it'll cease to be an issue anyway.

So! My friend-code is 3695-0755-1918 - if any of you blokes and blokettes would like to swap details and come visit my humble little hamlet, by all means drop me your code in the comments, or something.

I'd like to say Animal Crossing is the sole reason I'm not getting any drawing done, but the truth of the matter is I've had some cantankerous bureaucracy and horrendous home-moving to attend to. Coupled with the horribly humid weather we've been having as of late, it's kind of put me on my arse. Oh well. Hopefully it'll all clear up.

I ASPIRE TO GREAT THINGS.

im 27 and what is this

THIS YEAR THE FUCK-YOU-OLD-MAN-FAIRY GOT ME TWO 2,500-WORD ESSAYS THAT I HAVE TO FINISH BY FRIDAY, AND NOT ENOUGH INTELLECTUAL FIREPOWER WITH WHICH TO ACCOMPLISH SUCH A BRAZEN FEAT OF WIZARDRY.

Happy birthday to meeeeeee.

Right: fairly sure I'm allowed to send out Weasyl invites now, so if anyone wants one, now's the time to ask. Not sure how many I've been allocated, so aside from the two I know who already asked (they get first dibs), it's first come, first served. Drop us a note or email me at felixandrews[at]gmail.com if you're interested.

So hey I'm on Weasyl now. I guess that makes me one of the cool kids. Maybe.

HEY GUYS I'M OVER HERE

I'm posting a smattering of 'greatest hits' nonsense as of now, and then I'll probably just keep it in parity with my FA gallery here, because I'm a deeply unimaginative person. So yeah: hop along and watch me there, if you fell the need. I'm so ronery right now.

Also also, I have invites, if you don't have an account there yet. I don't know how many I have, so first come first served! NEVER MIND apparently I can't issue invites for the first two weeks. So not until November 11th, annoyingly. Sorry about that!

Hello all.

Quick question: would anyone out there be interested in digital sketch commissions for like, £5 each? Possibly with the option of watching them being drawn up via Livestream, schedules permitting?
I'm not taking orders quite yet, but I could do with drawing more regularly as well as supplementing my income a little, and I'd just like to gauge interest, see if anyone actually gives enough of a toss about my guff to want to spend money on it.

Let me know what you think!

It is to my immense discredit that I remembered a little too late just how stifling it is to live with your parents. Well, mine, at least.
Summer's been long and dreary, and I've spent a good deal of it bundled away in a corner, or taking care of the family's phalanx of pooches.
So basically, I haven't been in any position to do anything of particular interest. I mean, drawing heaving fuzzy knockers in close proximity to your family isn't exactly the smartest of moves if, like I, you don't want a cavalcade of awkward dialogue spewed in your general direction.

BUT ALL THIS CHANGES SOON. Well, for the most part, at least. I'm headed back to University roughly two weeks from now, wherein I'll be sequestered in a gloriously private single room with a precious, precious desk.
Obviously I still have academic commitments that take priority, but relative to the here-and-now I'll have plenty of time, space and bandwidth to produce bits and pieces for you to enjoy or, more likely, quietly deride.
I'd like to perhaps engage in a few pay-for-a-sketch streams soon after arriving, to test the waters and see what demand is like for my work. If it's enjoyable and lucrative enough, it's something I may continue to do from time to time. The extra pocket-money would be nice!

Anyway, that's pretty much where I'm at, at present; waiting to do something more interesting. It's been a really, really long time since I was so unfathomably bored with things. Really looking forward to getting back to business!

http://youtu.be/qhCYIxA8gjg

WARNING: May contain jam.

It has just turned the 13th of December o'clock here in Greatest Britain, and I have surmounted another solar cycle on my path to the ultimate goal of The Big Sleep. Yay!
It is an unglamourous affair; we will only have two hookers and three keys of blow between us this year. The recession is biting hard, and we're all in this together!

No but seriously: I just turned 26, I have a massive headache, I have to read a horrifying Victorian Bildungsroman and I have a hankering to scribble some furry titties that will probably go unsated until later in the week, after I'm done with my essay on that Godawful novel. Oh well. To be honest, I prefer my birthdays muted - I'll probably be hanging with some friends and watching crap films/playing videogames later on. And that'll be enough, quite honestly!

Looking a little further ahead: I'll likely be visiting the family up north for Christmas and possibly New Years, meaning I'll almost certainly be away from my rig and tablet for the majority of the holidays. That and I've got an essay to write and exams to prepare for - if my priorities are straight, I'll likely have precious little time to commit to drawing upon my return to Aber.
Still, if you care for such things as paltry as my illustration 'career', it might be worth keeping an eye on my tumblr blog, wherein I'm lately stowing a lot of work-in-progress shots and random scribbles, when I get the time for them - as well as other morsels besides. There's a fair amount of otherwise-unpublished stuff strewn across its three mighty pages, and a pleasing amount of it has proliferous knockerage thereupon. So yeah. Food for thought.

Probably won't write again for a while, so have a pre-emptive Merry Christmas and an Enjoyable New Solar Cycle from me before you go (cash value 0.00001¢). WRAP UP WARM AND PLEASE DON'T DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA.

Greetings.

Thought you might like to know I've opened up a Tumblr blog. You might be interested because I'm planning on putting work-in-progress and scrappy-type drawings up there, as and when I actually make some. Stuff that may or may not make it as far as my galleries, even!

So yeah; I'm there, if you want me: http://felixandrews.tumblr.com

My adoring public! Or indeed not! It is time I updated you as to exactly what I'm up to as of late: whether you like it or not.

I've just started my English & German course at Uni, and things have been nothing if not fraught. Chief among my irritations is the fact that I've been lumped into a bunk-room, which is absolutely not conducive to studying/sleeping/drawing furry pornography/many other things.
It's not that my room-mate's a bad guy (although he's not the sort I'd ever choose to spend time with); it's the unbelievable lack of space and privacy we have here. The Uni has oversubscribed this year you see, and they make a formal promise to provide accommodation for all first-year students. The way they're choosing to bridge the gap is to put a bunk-bed into a bunch of single rooms and completely ignore the consequences. I have barely any space for clothes, books or supplies (you should see the kitchen which is shared by roughly forty people), and there is one small desk here between the two of us. Which isn't funny, frankly. Also, people slamming their doors and laughing maniacally, pretty much 24 hours a day. I haven't been getting much in the way of sleep.

I'm going to start making life difficult for the accommodation bods here soon and see if I can't get moved to somewhere more suitable for the likes of myself, but for the time being this obviously means that any drawing I'd been planning on doing in my free time (and I was planning on doing as much as I reasonably could) is sort of on the kybosh.
Which is a huge shame, as I have a deeply awesome and sexy comic project whizzing around my noggin that I am desperate to develop. It's a fairly fundamental re-imagining of an old sci-fi project of mine known as Wurl & Dervish, and it features hot cat-girls, big explosions and oodles of unnecessarily skimpy outfits/full-on nudity/graphic sex. Somehow, I'm aiming for it to be a bit less creepy and a lot more awesome than that perhaps sounds.

So yeah: back in the UK, and not necessarily happy with the way things are working out. But I gotta persist, for my own sake... so I guess I'll do just that, for now. I'll let you all know if my circumstances change for the better, but for now the chances of me putting anything interesting out here are remote. Sorry.

What's the story in Balamory; wouldn't you like to know (you nosey little gimboid)?

Times, they are a-changin'. Sometime in September I'll be leaving Frankfurt and headed back to Aberystwyth, Wales - wherein I'll be studying for a degree in English & German.
I'll miss Deutschland... sort of. Honestly, it's been an incredibly trying period of time and I'm really looking forward to leaving... but that's really down to piss-poor luck, rather than anything fundamentally wrong with the country. I love the food here, at least.
I think both myself and my flatmate earnestly believed this was going to be a fairly lucrative venture going in and, well, we turned out to be quite wrong on that count. If ever you feel compelled to move to Offenbach am Main: don't. There's a reason we started calling it 'Fuck-Offenbach'. Getting burgled (twice) is not something I recommend, or hope to experience ever again. There were other factors that sullied our time out here, too - but those thieving bastards were the worst, by far.

It's likely to be a fairly rough first year in Uni - financially, as opposed to academically... well, hopefully. Having stuffed up my higher education twice before (oh, to be young again), my loans are probably going to be a bit... thin, initially at least. I'll be getting a part-time job of some description to make ends meet, but I'll also be looking to take the odd commission here and there, too. Which of course, me being the stellar individual I am, means I need to do something approaching self-promotion... which I can't really stand doing. Where the hell are you supposed to advertise your wares these days, anyway? I never did figure that one out.
I've got some little canvasses that I'll probably do some nice wall-worthy tonal character work on, once I'm all set up, as well as the usual digital/traditional media fare. No idea how to price myself though, really... historically, I've not exactly been prolific as an artist, but I don't want to sell myself short, either. It's a tough one to judge, from where I'm sat.

In between work and work and work-and-work, I'd dearly like to... work on some comic-type projects, amongst other things. One of them features two scantily-clad bisexual cat-girls with a penchant for blowing things up... in space. Yeah, I'm basically catering to my own sensibilities with that one; but I'm curiously optimistic about it.
The other, more serious sci-fi project 'Silence' is still getting kicked about the ol' noggin too, as well as a few other 'serious' ideas and a heaping helping of flagrant furry pornography for the discerning filthmongers amongst you. More than anything else, I'm really dying to get something done and released to the world at large, however modest in scope that might be.

Flatmate's off to Eurofurence as I type this... sort of wish I was tagging along, really. Been far too long since I hit up a convention. Alas: I am destitute at present, so no such frolicks for me. Hope you're all enjoying yourselves out in Magdeburg, though - maybe I'll join you next year.
Though I must say, I'm more likely to turn up at Confuzzled '12; that new venue looks prety sweet.

Smoke me a kipper; I'll be back for breakfast.

ZOMG STUPID MEMES AGAIN. Honestly. I'm such a wastrel!

001. One of your scars, how did you get it?
I have a little nick above my right eye from when I was tripped over at primary school; I had massive plastic prescription glasses as a kid, which promptly splintered and embedded into my head. The bleeding was prodigious, I'm told.

002. What is on the walls in your room?
A couple of art prints that belong to the landlady. I don't really get to express myself in here - but then, I'm probably only here until September anyway.

003. Do you snore, grind your teeth, or talk in your sleep?
I'm not sure about more recently, but I know I used to sleep really fitfully. Wasn't unusual for me to scream in my sleep, apparently. Not that I remember any of this, mind.

004. What type of music do you listen to?
I have a pretty wide spectrum, really. I don't generally think much of metal and modern 'gangsta' rap (though hip-hop and old school rap are much-maligned genres that people should give a proper chance), but I'm pretty open to most creatively-aligned noises, so long as they evoke something in me.

005. Do you know what time you were born?
Not off the top of my head, no.

006. What do you want more than anything right now?
A little get-up-and-go wouldn't go amiss. Failing that, I'll take the arrival of my new PC components.

007. What do you miss?
I miss who I was a few years back. He was a dick, but he got stuff done, at least.

008. What is your most prized possession(s)?
I don't think there's any one thing I prize as the pinnacle of my material world... I just like having stuff, really.

009. How tall are you?
Roughly six feet tall - possibly a little over or a little under. I'm not actually sure.

010. Do you get claustrophobic?
Not exactly. I occasionally get really weird lapses of perspective (due to my off-and-on depth-perception) that inexplicably make me freak out, usually while I'm sleepy... but I'm pretty sure that's not the same thing.

011. Do you get scared in the dark?
As a kid, yeah. Nowadays I love it, though.

012. The last person to make you cry?
Not totally sure. The last one I remember was about five years ago, and that was largely me being a naïve, self-entitled tool towards someone I respected and liked. We don't talk anymore, and I guess I'm over it now. A little wiser, a little easier to deal with but considerably more cynical as a result.
That said, I cry as a result of self-pity and self-loathing considerably more often. Again though - It's been a while.

013. What's your worst fear?
I worry constantly about having no idea what to do with my life. I don't fear death, but I do fear dying having done nothing of significance - and as my time is likely to be prematurely curtailed for various reasons, this fear is compounded somewhat.
Or in a more tangible sphere: I fear HSBC. I owe them like £2,500.

014. What kind of hair/eye colour do you like on the opposite/same sex?
Bright green eyes, dyed shock-white hair. It's not a dealbreaker or anything, but I find those aesthetics oddly beguiling.

015. Where can you see yourself proposing?
Statistically unlikely.

016. Coffee or energy drink?
Coffee, hands down. Energy drinks are vile.

017. Favourite pizza topping?
Proscuttio ham. Oh, mama.

018. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Could murder a fry-up. A bowl of muesli will have to suffice, though...

019. Favourite colour of all time?
I like greens and reds I guess, but my fondness for colour is context and design-sensitive these days. I like it if it works, and sometimes if it doesn't.

020. Have you ever eaten a goldfish?
No, but I did revive one with CPR once. Sort of.

021. What was the first meaningful gift you've ever received?
My grandmother gave me a stuffed bear when I was very young, that I still have somewhere. He's a little dog-earred now, but he's still well-crafted and cute-looking. Huge sentimental value, really.

022. Do you have a crush?
Sort of. Sort of two, in fact. Neither are going anywhere interesting though, so DON'T PANIC.

023. Are you double jointed?
There's no such thing! I have some hyperflexibility in my elbows, fingers and hips, though. Unfortunately, when I utilise this extra wiggle-room, I fuck my (singular) joints up god and proper. Arthritis is fun, y'all!

024. Favourite clothing brand?
I have a Stetson cowboy hat that I'm fond of - I don't generally give a toss about names, though. Designs stick out for me on occasion - I like Converse sneakers, for instance - but the name attached to them is generally meaningless.

[QUESTIONS 25-29 OMMITTED UNDER TERMS OF THE OFFICIAL SECRETS ACT]

030. Say a number from one to a hundred:
Eleventy-four.

031. Blondes or brunettes?
If I had to be picky, I'd say brunettes, I guess. Purely an aesthetic thing, though. Not something I actually care about in real terms.

032. Favourite quote?
"You cannot alter your fate; however, you can rise to meet it if you so choose."
It's functionally bullshit, but it's delivered with such conviction and verve that I can't help but adore it.

033. Favourite place?
Sitting with the dogs in my parents' 'study'. Or if we must be geographical: Durham, England.

034. Have you been out of the USA?
Most of my life, barring a week in the July of 2007. Born in Scotland, grew up in Wales, frittered away time in England, visited the Republic of Ireland, currently living in Germany.

035. Your weaknesses?
Shy, cynical, apathetic, misanthropic, largely unlikeable in close proximity. I worry there's something wrong with me, as I used to be a much friendlier guy.

036. Met anyone famous?
Depends how you mean, I guess. I met Shigeru Miyamoto once, and apparently stood mere metres from Satoru Iwata recently - a pretty big deal if you're a Nintendo fanboy like me, not so much if you're not.

037. First job?
I ran an ice-cream kiosk at Abakhan Fabrics, Greenfield, Wales. I ate a lot of flakes that summer.

038. Ever done a prank call?
I used to as a kid. Curiously, I've been thinking of taking up the artform again and making a podcast out of it. Probably another stupid pipedream that I won't follow through with, though.

039. Do you think everyone out there has a soul mate?
No. Love is a mix of luck, circumstance and personality. Some people will be happy; others will not. But there's no predetermined factors that control this.

040. What were you doing before you filled this out?
Just got up from kipping on the sofa that is my bed.

041. Have you ever had surgery?
Three invasive bouts on my left eye, plus numerous non-invasive laser procedures on both eyes. A crappy genome and a retinal detachment will do that to you, I guess.

042. What do you get complimented about most?
Lately, it's the orderly nature of my network cabling. But in real terms I guess it's my artwork, even though I take such compliments with a pinch of salt. A lot of folks are just trying to be polite, after all. Nothing wrong with that!

043. Have you ever had braces?
I was supposed to, but I told my parents to get stuffed. My teeth aren't misaligned that badly, and I kinda like them that way.

044. What do you want for your birthday?
I don't have anything in mind, actually. I'm expecting December to be financially rough, so I guess I'm just taking it as it comes. I'd like a 3DS though, especially if the rumoured price-drops come to pass.

045. How many kids do you want and their names?
I don't.

046. Were you named after anyone?
Our family's tradition is that middle names are generally inherited. So, my middle name comes from my Grandad's middle name (which he actually used as his day-to-day moniker).

047. What is the biggest turn off of the opposite/same sex?
I'M not really one to judge. If I like somebody, I'm not going to write them off entirely due to some minor character flaw. People are more complicated than that. Not to say that everyone is awesome - they're not, and I find more people than most completely and utterly irritating. But to try and itemise folks and make a shopping list of undesirable traits does disservice to the complexity of interpersonal relationships.

048. What is one thing you like(d) about high school?
A lot of my teachers were awesome - real personalities. You could write a sketch-comedy based on that place, seriously.

049. What kind of shampoo do you use?
Whatever's going.

050. Do you like your handwriting?
It serves its purpose, I guess.

051. What is your favourite lunch meat?
Honey-roast ham. Mmmmm.

052. Any bad habits?
I think too much and do too little. Also, I take very little care of my personal appearance; I have this notion that it's unimportant, and I guess in my day-to-day existence, it is.

053. Are you a jealous person?
Depends. Sort of, I guess. I don't think it manifests in any obvious way, though.

054. If you were another person, would you be friends with you?
Probably not.

055. Do you agree with friends with benefits?
I don't object to the idea, but I don't think I could make it work for myself.

056. Do looks matter?
More than they should.

057. How do you release anger?
I monologue loudly, and invent wild and wonderful swearing conjunctions.

058. Would you rather gain 58 pounds or lose 58 pounds?
I think either way would be unpleasant, given my current build. Lose, though. Might be nice to be light again.

060. What was your favourite toy as a child?
I got more value out of a pn and paper than anything else in my childhood. I really wish I could draw as relentlessly as that, again.

061. How many numbers are in your cell phone?
Don't own one currently, as it was stolen. Not really interested in replacing it, either.

062. Were you a fan of Barney as a little kid?
No sir. I always questioned the teaching authority of a seven-foot purple dinosaur who was clearly mentally ill and had nasty elocution issues.

063. Do you use sarcasm?
No.

064. Mashed potatoes or macaroni and cheese?
Macaroni cheese is godly. I like to overcook it slightly so the surface is all crispy and yummy.

065. What do you look for in a guy/girl?
I don't. If I like someone, it's a combination of factors that I'm unlikely to fully understand. I very rarely like people, especially in a romantic content. It's rarer still for them to like me.
So yeah. I don't.

066. What are your nicknames?
Fee, or any other monosyllabic onomatopoeia beginning with the letter F.

067. Favourite super power?
Unwavering civility in the face of monumental crassness.

068. What's your favourite TV show?
I'd say House, Have I Got News For You and Mythbusters, as of right now. Top Gear is always a winner, too.

069. What's the best way to deal with your enemies?
With utmost prejudice. I treat them as inconsequential, which they usually are. This annoys them more than you might expect. It's hilarious.

070. What's your favourite ice cream flavour?
Probably Pralines & Cream Haägen-Dazs.

071. Do you have all your fingers and toes?
Yup. Sometimes my fingers hurt a lot, though.

072. Do you have a computer in your room?
Two - my main rig and a netbook. Actually, technically it'll soon be three, as my rig is being largely rebuilt in stages.

073. Plans for tonight?
Might be assembling my new PC. If not, it depends on if and when my lethargy alleviates itself. Probably nothing important.

074. Where do you want to live when you are older?
I don't even know where I want to go in September, which is when I have to leave this current place. It's a bit of a dilemma, really.

075. Do you want everyone to answer these questions?
Everyone? Like, in the whole world? You realise the logistical implications of that question, right?

076. What are you listening to?
'Rome' by Danger Mouse & Daniele Luppi. First listen, but it seems to have this off-kilter cinematic edge to it that I'm really digging.

077. Last thing you drank?
I had some cheap Penny-Markt lemonade last night. It was flavoured... curiously. I'm not sure if it was unpleasant or not.

078. Last person you talked to on the phone?
I think it may have been my 'boss', Mahin. I honestly don't know, though.

079. The first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Facial structure, then eyes. Then possibly breasts, cup-size/attire dependent. I'M A HETEROSEXUAL HUMAN BEING GODDAMN IT. STOP FLAUNTING IT IF YOU DON'T EXPECT ME TO LOOK.

080. What do you like to do in your spare time?
All my time is spare, just lately. I wish work would call. I need a change of pace as much financial recompense, really.

081. Favourite thing to hate?
Hate's a strong word. I do love to be critical in certain circumstances, however.

082. Favourite season of the year?
Spring. It's the temperate sweet-spot, as far as I'm concerned. I tend to get stuff done in spring that I feel to cold or too hot to do in other seasons. Autumn is similarly decent, but not quite to the same extent.

083. What's your favourite type of candy?
Ferrero Rond-Noir. Or maybe Kinder Schocko-Bons.

084. Have you ever really and truly had a best friend?
At various stages, yeah. I tend to bond with one or two people really well, and have little or nothing to do with anyone else. It's just how I'm wired, I guess.

085. What is your hair colour?
Modern videogame brown.

086. Eye colour?
Hazel.

087. Shoe size?
Nine in UK standard. I forget what that is in US/Euro.

088. Favourite fast food place?
Die Kuh Die Lacht (or The Laughing Cow), here in Frankfurt. Best burgers you will ever taste, period.
Although, given the subject matter, I can't help but feel it should be called Die Kuh Die Gelacht Hat (The Cow That Laughed) or Die Kuh Die Lacht (Ehemalige) (The (Formerly) Laughing Cow)

089. Favourite restaurant?
...I suppose you could argue Die Kuh Die Lacht again. It's a pretty upmarket fast-food emporium.
I like Mania here in Niederrad - the staff are nice and the food is great. The Olive Branch in Aberystwyth is pretty awesome too.

090. Do you like sushi?
It's good stuff. Filling as hell, though.

091. Watch TV today?
Not yet. Might stream a little BBC TV in a bit, though. German TV isn't really up to much, even if you do understand the lingo.

092. Favourite day of the year?
Whenever the E3 press-conferences are that particular year. Especially now we're all on Twitter, cracking jokes. It's like my Christmas, it really is. Not long now!

093. Play any musical instruments?
Not in any real sense. I desk-drum a lot, and sing occasionally, but that's about it. I'd love to learn something, though.

094. Republican or democrat?
I voted Liberal Democrat, which in turn meant I accidentally allowed the Conservatives into government in the UK. Politics is dead to me.

095. Kisses or hugs?
Both in theory, but I've never been comfortable enough with anyone to allow such a thing to happen. The exception is my flatmate Fabi, who turns into a quivering wreck when I hug him. He hates it; therefore, I love it.

096. Relationships or one night stands?
Despite my overbearing misanthropy, I do get attached to people I like; I'm inexplicably romantic. I'm not averse to the idea of one-night stands, but I don't see a situation arising where such a thing wouldn't mess me up emotionally. If I like you enough to sleep with you, chances are I have more in mind than just getting my leg over.
Not that this has ever been an issue, mind. I'm 110% lady-proof!

097. What was the last thing you bought?
Some shopping from Penny-Markt. Or if you mean non-sundries: various PC components, a nice 7.1 surround headset and a new digital camera.

098. Would you ever be a housewife?
For many, many reasons: no.

099. What book are you reading?
Shamefully, I'm not. It's been a while - I should probably pick something up.

100. Final random fact about me:
I have a hang-nail on one of my left toes and IT'S FUCKING AGGRAVATING.

Tagged by  akitokit, who is a villainous scoundrel.

The Rules:
- You must post these rules.
- Each tagged person must post 10 things about themselves on their journal.
- You have to choose and tag 10 people and post their icons on the same journal.
- Go to their pages and tell them you tagged them! I WILL BE BOUND BY NO SUCH SHENANIGANS.

1. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Well; I have some ideas I suppose, but no realistic grasp over how I'd go about making them happen, and no tangible alternatives.
2. I'm generally a cynic, a pessimist and a total misanthrope. You usually have to catch me on a pretty good day to find me looking at life's positives.
3. I have moderate money-troubles. Hopefully not for much longer, but... they're oppressive, and I don't recommend them.
4. I'm well-aware that, up-close and personal, I'm not a very likeable person. I often wonder why people put up with me. On the other hand, there are very few people who I find I can tolerate for any length of time.
5. I work as a datacentre technician (that is to say, a server-flinging wire-wrangling workhorse). It's decidedly less technical and glamourous than it sounds... but at least it sounds good, eh?
6. My left eye is largely useless thanks to a retinal detachment in 1998. It points the wrong way and the vision is incredibly blurred, and obscured by free-floating dead cells. As such, I can't see 3D movies properly.
7. I'm also arthritic, due to the same genetic condition that caused my eye to go funky. I'm not in truly massive pain yet, but I can get pretty irritable and despondent when my hands seize up, and the prospect of it getting a great deal worse is not one that I relish.
8. I live in Germany right now - I speak some German, but only enough to ensure that I come across as a bit of a simpleton; or worse, people pick up on my British accent and reply in perfect English.
9. I wish I drew and wrote more, both now and over the last few years. Creativity is probably my one discernable attribute (well, aside from negativity), and it bothers me that I frequently have neither the time nor inclination to properly pursue it.
10. I'm not scared of death; it's the process leading up to it that freaks me out.


Well. That was morose - more so than I anticipated. Oh, well: time for work. You can all go tag yourselves. I'm not sure I even know ten people on here, less still ten people who'd care to write such self-indulgent frippery.

GOODBAIDEN.

Saw this meme doing the rounds, and because I fuckin' love onions, I've decided to give it a shake of the stick while eating my Ja!-branded Mini Zimtos breakfast-type cereal.


LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE

-Name: Felix, or Fee, or if you work with me in an official capacity, Al
-Eye Color: Hazel
-Hair Style/Color: Middling brown, wild and decidedly uncared-for
-Height: Roughly six feet tall - possibly a little over or under. Not exactly sure.
-Clothing style: Largely random; known to wear a Stetson
-Best physical feature: I'm told I have nice eyes, though I usually hide them behind glasses, and at certain angles they look... unsettling


LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

-Your fears: Dementia, blindness, losing the use of my hands, injury, injections, running out of Jaffa Cakes
-Your guilty pleasure: Certain types of music, amusingly bad films and videogames, pork scratchings
-Your biggest pet peeve: Dishonesty in lieu of dialogue; people who can't take a hint; overtly, excessively mushy couples
-Your ambitions for the future: Nothing concrete - I'd like to embark on a big creative endeavour I guess, but I don't believe myself to be really capable


LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

-Your first thoughts waking up: I wake up as pretty much a blank slate, a lot of the time. It's almost like I have to spend a few moments recovering my perception of time, space and self from my conscious memory.
-What you think about most: Depends on circumstances. Right now, it's mostly about ideas I want to work on, which is good!
-What you think about before bed: Usually about what I'm going to do tomorrow. If it's been a good day, sometimes I'll re-run events in my head. Sometimes I think of fictional things, too.
-You think your best quality is: I don't, if I'm honest


LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?

-Single or group dates: Hypothetically, I'd probably prefer a single date. Depends, though. It's never come up
-To be loved or respected: Respect. Love without respect is all kinds of wrong, so respect is a lot more important, fundamentally.
-Beauty or brains: In people I actually care about, the mind is all
-Dogs or cats: I honestly like them both, in their own way. I do really miss having dogs around, though.


LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

-Lie: A lot less than I used to. I do try to remain honest and largely transparent around those I give a crap about, these days.
-Believe in yourself: I think I'm capable of great things, relatively speaking. I'm just not sure if I'll ever figure out how best to learn the trade and get things done. Indecision and stupid bouts of nervousness are my real Achilles' heel.
-Believe in love: I do, but I very rarely see it, and it's not something I ever see myself experiencing
-Want someone: Yeah, I do. Can't always get what you want, though


LAYER SIX: EVER?

-Been on stage: Not since early highschool. It was a debacle. I wasn't really allowed, after that.
-Done drugs: Nope. I had a brandy & cola during Christmas '09, out of politeness - that's the only drink I've done in about six years. I hate the stuff. Smoking tobacco is even dumber, and honestly I can't help but think less of people who are suckered into doing it.
-Changed who you were to fit in: Sort of, I guess. I'd say 'suppress' more than change, though. School is like that.


LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

-Favorite color: Historically reds and greens, I guess. I don't really think in those terms anymore, though. All colours are beautiful, given the right context.
-Favorite animal: Cats, dogs, rabbits, red pandas, otters, guinea pigs, chinchillas, parrots, koi
-Favorite movie: Hero, Princess Mononoke, True Lies, Metropolis (the Osamu Tezuka one), countless others. I used to really love sitting down with films - I don't do it nearly enough, anymore
-Favorite game: Super Metroid, World of Goo, Minecraft, Ocarina of Time, F-Zero GX... again, countless others. And again again; I wish I had the time to devote to it that I used to. Games are bloody great.


LAYER EIGHT: AGE

-Day your next birthday you will be: Tuesday
-How old will you be: 26
-Age you lost your virginity: ...a-heh. I expect it'll be a while, if ever
-Does age matter: No, to a point.


LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL

-Best personality: Sharp, good-humoured, patient
-Best eye color: I like greens, rare as they seem to be. Doesn't really matter, though.
-Best hair color: No real preference
-Best thing to do with a partner: I'll get back to you on that one


LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

-I love: rock and roll. Also currywurst
-I feel: uneasy
-I hide: so as not to disturb anybody
-I miss: Noah
-I wish: I knew what to do with myself


LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
Your mother

---

Right. With that dealt with, I will now try and watch the Chinese F1 GP. Might also be streaming later today - I'll post a journal if I decide to go ahead. FA could really use some sort of API-assisted stream-anouncement widget, don't you think? Something less cluttered than spamming and deleting journals, anyway...

Cor blimey, guv'nor.

I suppose I should fill you all in on some goings-on. You never know.
First up, there's a (relatively) minor move underway, as we're relocating to the other side of Frankfurt. It's a much safer neck of the woods and it's also closer to where I usualy work, which is nice.
It's a smaller abode though, which means space and organisation are going to be something of an issue. We'll see how it pans out, but I daresay most anything will beat not feeling safe going for a bath, for fear of some fucknut breaking in and relieving you of your possessions.

On a more artsy tone: I'm now the owner of a delicious new Wacom Intuos 4 tablet, Does this mean I'm one of the cool kids, now?
My word, though: it's a nice bit of kit. I'd always had reservations about how expensive they were (€400 for my medium-sized model), but now that I've really sat down and messed with one of my own, I can see where the money goes. They're much more refined and configurable than their simplistic (though elegant) exterior would suggest, and that pen is such a pleasure to use; completely obedient and responsive.
My previous digitiser was a temperamental old thing, and though I loved it dearly, it's nice to finally have something that behaves in a predictable manner! I haven't done anything of note with it yet (I'm finishing a traditional marker-piece before I commit to anything else), but I'm looking forward to cutting my teeth on it. Would love to do some networked drawing with folks on openCanvas or BeeDraw.

I'm currently in the midst of fighting off a persistent cold. This would normally be pretty aggravating, but it's mediated somewhat by the fact that it's given me time off work, which has been utterly relentless this past month. Granted, it's earned me over €1,600 - but not having any days to yourself for weeks on end sure is depressing, regardless of the fact that my job is pretty easy-going.
So yeah - while I've been coughing my lungs up and swearing profusely at the worst headaches I think I've ever had, I am also using my period of invaliditude to get some drawing done. It's nice to know I've still got my pen-flinging mojo, at least. It hasn't stuck around for this long in many, many years.

I'm getting used to a slightly unresponsive German netbook keyboard. That's my excuse for any absent letters you might notice, at least. I think it's having to press Shift+# to get to the apostrophe that's annoying me the most, closely followed by the Y and Z keys being swapped around.
Most worrying of all is that I am sort of adjusting; going back to a UK keyboard, I'm now making constant mistakes on that too, thinking of the German layout. So basicaly, there's now not a single keyboard that I can type on with complete confidence. Bugger.

Be well, John Spartan!

Couldn't make it up.

Just as the insurance pays out for our last bunch of breaking-and-entering shenanigans (and we actually got a pretty decent sum for that, as it happens), we get burgled for a second time in just over a month. Seriously, what the hell.

The really galling thing is, we were in the flat at the time it happened - in the living room, watching TV. They sloped in, pinched my old laptop and iPhone, and silently left without a trace. We don't tend to keep our front door locked while we're awake and/or present - partially because we thought our conscious presence would be deterrant enough, but also out of a force of habit; our front door isn't really much of a front door at all, and we're used to having entrances that shut and lock behind you. Nothing of the sort, here.

Owing to the circumstances, I'm not exactly hopeful about the insurance company compensating my loss, this time around. Would be nice, but... doubtful. I think my only real crumb of comfort is that both lappy and iPhone were well past their sell-by date, and all my important data is stored elsewhere.
So yeah... cat has been thrown pretty firmly amongst the pidgeons, again. We'll see how things play out, but this time I think it's a lot more likely that we'll be jumping ship and leaving Offenbach.

I feel like I'm meant to be upset... but I find I'm just exasperated and angry, instead. Why do people have to be such utter dicks?

So, I've not long come home to a flat that's been broken into. Which is charming.

Some stuff's been stolen, though it's relatively little of mine (my flatmate got hit fairly hard, sadly). We're insured, so we should be able to replace it in due course. Still: it really stings. If you were under the impression that Germany is generally safe and crime-free, well... Offenbach am Main doesn't really conform to that stereotype.

There are plans underway for us to beat a hasty retreat elsewhere: possibly on the other side of Frankfurt, possibly not. We really don't know much, other than we're not exactly safe here.

So yeah. Things are being disrupted, and I don't know when normal service will resume. If you're waiting for art from me, then I apologise - that wait's going to be protracted a bit. Best-laid plans, eh?

EVERYTHING IS FINE. NOTHING IS RUINED.



How do I satire?

Just a courteous heads-up - as I write this, FA has been pretty massively compromised, by the looks of things. Your notes are not secure, and by way of a pretty simple workaround, an enterprising individual could well get at them.
I'm not sure if they can get at your password or anything like that, but still. If you keep anything sensitive in your inbox, particularly if you think you're liable to be targeted, might be an idea to shift it elsewhere.
I don't keep anything truly salacious in there, personally - but that's me. You should act accordingly!

I know we get FA for free and whatnot and we're supposed to be grateful and all, but there are limits. A little professionalism and the odd bit of actual web-development wouldn't go amiss.

Today (the 13th), I am 25 years old. A quarter of a century.

The fact that I remain alive is conclusive proof of the absence of a grand universal God-figure, so that's one thing, I guess.
Still chugging along with commissions: I broke out my markers for the first time in three years, a day or two ago. I have a lot of colours. If I was back in kindergarten, my colouring book would destroy the other children's.

A big thank you to my imaginary legion of fans who've kept me going over the course of the last two-and-a-half decades. You were all delicious, though your nutritional value was negligible.

Approximate life expectancy, based on the current sensitivity of my right testicle: two years. I'd suggest booking your spot at the funeral soon. Get it on like Anthrocon!

It's 4am. I'm not sure why the nurse hasn't been around with the sedative, yet.

It's a beautiful day, people.

24th November 2010 - NEVAR 4GET.
http://youtu.be/2CiKj_vwSq0