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Posted 13 years agoThe year has come to an end. The final hour was an exclamation mark to everything that had led up to this point in time. I release my essences onto you, my words splattering from physical keys to digital text. Allow me to illustrate, draw from words to feelings to this canvas of mine.
This has been a great year for me. There has been plenty of terrible things that have occurred, some that simply is a fact of life, but one can only learn and move on from it.
Time after time, hearts come and disasters go.
I can simply go on and discuss events but it's just much easier to express my gratitude in having the chance to meet some of you furries, and perhaps my chance to say goodbye to those who have moved on. I wish you all the best.
I love you guys, you know who you are. I wouldn't be where I'm at if I didn't have your encouragement, your kindness, and your time for drinks.
I really don't know how else to approach life other than to open my heart and love. I don't know how else to live and to be quite frank, it has only led me to happier times.
This upcoming year, I can only hope for a better tomorrow. I'm hoping to be more out-coming and more socially open among everyone. All I want out of this life is to spread love, and to be loved.
But enough blasting off the buzzbox. It's difficult to keep up with everyone and thus this journal is for you. Anyhow, I merely wish you all the best, have a Happy New Years everyone. If I could, I would hug you all.
Cheers!
This has been a great year for me. There has been plenty of terrible things that have occurred, some that simply is a fact of life, but one can only learn and move on from it.
Time after time, hearts come and disasters go.
I can simply go on and discuss events but it's just much easier to express my gratitude in having the chance to meet some of you furries, and perhaps my chance to say goodbye to those who have moved on. I wish you all the best.
I love you guys, you know who you are. I wouldn't be where I'm at if I didn't have your encouragement, your kindness, and your time for drinks.
I really don't know how else to approach life other than to open my heart and love. I don't know how else to live and to be quite frank, it has only led me to happier times.
This upcoming year, I can only hope for a better tomorrow. I'm hoping to be more out-coming and more socially open among everyone. All I want out of this life is to spread love, and to be loved.
But enough blasting off the buzzbox. It's difficult to keep up with everyone and thus this journal is for you. Anyhow, I merely wish you all the best, have a Happy New Years everyone. If I could, I would hug you all.
Cheers!
What's the haps, on the craps?
Posted 13 years agoLife has been profounding these days. I feel like, it's only going to get better with time.
Where do I even start? I see, it's been quite awhile since I've updated my journal here. Mainly because, I actually write in my own little journal, just like Doug Funny from Nickelodeon, from back in the days. I mainly write in it to keep my mind flowing, to help me move on forward when I'm stuck in situations in which I feel I'm just blah or to help me wake up my mind. I suppose it's a coping method, considering the fact about reality but I'll get into all that in a moment.
The past month, I've simply went to FurFright, got sick, studying/working ever since. And that really sums up my experiences from a macro-timeline point of view.
However, we are taught either through experience, or from class, or really, any form of interaction with a life form is that, the devil is in the details. There is no macro without a micro, and my timeline has so much more when we look into the smaller, finer moments of life, that is to say, when events are only seconds away of happening.
Allow me to compose with my instrument, and illustrate my desires onto 1's and 0's, sing to you, the moments of life's bittersweet symphony.
It all starts sometime in mid-October, where I've made a last minute decision to attend FurFright. It was a whole experience, and for the most part, I think I'll leave a chunk of that in my head, and leave it for telling in person. I can sum it up into saying, that it really felt like it was an end-of-the-world con. It was quite the adventure to arrive there with my best friends, Stray and Ryken. There weren't too many other friends that were well known, but we've made the best that we got and just want to thank you guys for being there, allowing me to realize what great, jolly souls there are. Most of the time we were simply too caught up with our own troubles, and then later found out about Hurricane Sandy blowing its way towards the convention. What a mess that was, luckily we've escaped without being held back. And that's basically my trip in a nut shell.
When I arrived home, I was so happy to see the sun. Thank goodness for California's sunny weather! It allows me to realize how much I ought to appreciate what I have over here. My next concern was the classes, and assignments I had missed. My trip exhausted me to no end, and it didn't help that I got a bit sick. After talking to my professors about my trip, they took it rather well, understanding instructors. So I had to study my tail off, claw my way through textbooks and coffee until my eyes were droopy as Droopy, the dog, himself. I did it, I didn't get a perfect A, but I did manage to pull off a B which is acceptable to me.
So now some time passes, and I'm left in the early days of November. I've caught up with my assignments, and I had some rough bumps in my life here and there. My moments in Ethics class has really shaken up my world. I'm beginning to truly see my place in society, or at least, starting to. I see that culture, and values/morals of today simply do not match my standard. Culture has become too commercialized, so much that it's just too obvious when someone is being trained to buy products. I cannot stand the radio, or to watch television anymore because 1/3 of time is spent telling me what I should do. I'm entertained by either Amazon/Netflix/AMC's $6 cinemas.
To add on top of that, Mathematics has really grown onto me, and starting to rationalize, abstractively, a whole lot better than before. Instead of scribbling random numbers, there's an actual a list of invisible numbers that need to be brought out from the paper, like that of a necromancer, that raises the dead, except it's on paper, and only numbers are coming alive. Basically, I can actually do math! I have the brains to do these mystic spells, I simply have to train and earn experience crunching numbers. This has truly changed me a whole lot, because for years I've been below standards and now I'm seeing it's actually possible! So that has been nice confident booster for me. I said that twice, did I? Drats.
Well, this all comes at a cost, I suppose. Much like how summons from the Final Fantasy series take up your bloated fat head. I like to be direct these days, I really don't have anymore friends on campus, perhaps one, but I hardly see him due to his music classes. I honestly thought he was going to have one class, and perhaps spend some decent time with me. We're good buds, and we've been known for doing that. We would play Chess for a couple of hours, but he added classes, getting more practice with music. He's already received his Associates, perhaps he's still earning for B.A., I wouldn't know. I don't blame him, it is his passion, his aspiration, and I respect him for that. Part of that is my fault too, work has been really busy lately due to the holiday sales, since I'm one of the few who can be trusted, I've been working my early-morning shifts, getting the store ready for sales.
So thanks to being enslaved to work, debt, I've made myself to be quite the lonely guy, which.... I must say, for the sake of keeping my own imagine, I'm rather... good looking. ;] To make matters worse, I realize, I'm not the talkative guy and I do not like to wait until something happens. I get this from my father, and the only time I ever learn or do things with him, is to do them, quietly. It's complicated, but this just means, I'm a man of action. I talk through my actions, my gestures, and good will. I show my respect, and do what it is that gentlemen do.
Oh, and also. I've been trying to improve my health, I've gone to the dentist, and I have yet to see an optometrist. Probably doesn't make sense, since I'm fat. I'm not even going to bother with medical, I simply do not have the means, and since I'm young, I'm using that as an excuse to distort my priorities and perspective. Although, the last time I've checked, I have a nice level of cholesterol, fair blood pressure, etc.
My encounter with the dentist was painful, figuratively speaking. I visited the office to find out that my mouth needs work. I have all four wisdom teeth that need to be removed, a deep cleaning, and some other tasks, I don't quite remember. So, basically, they told me that it would cost $2,400! This is with my insurance! Although, I did get a referral, and who knows if this guy is in my network so I'm trying to see if this is really the cost. But in order to get a quote from an oral surgeon in my HMO plan, that itself is quite a chore. What makes me cynical is that, even with my insurance, I was charged to visit them and such. I got a bill from my insurance company the other day, telling me *IM* responsible for these charges. It makes me angry, because it tells me to refer to my handbook, and in my handbook, matching the ADA codes it tells me that it's covered, for free! Grrr. Now I must telephone these fools, and sort this out. Otherwise, I'm further in debt by nearly $400 for events that are out of my control.
I don't even know if I want to see the optometrist about my vision. So far, I'm pretty sure I'm fine, maybe a 19/20 but at the same time, I think I have a bit of UV damage. I'm starting to see black spots, it's not bad, I tend to have a habit of exaggerating but it's noticeable. My brain fills in the gaps, but the thought of slowly growing blind kinda gets to me, but actually okay with this. I feel like, whenever my eyes are open, I am only being deceived anyways. My eyes are sensitive to the sun, and just been driving my crazy whenever I'm out now. I really need a pair of sunglasses but I simply need to carry them, a habit that I need to address.
Anyway, perhaps in the writing, everything begins to deteriorate, and before you, is simply someone who is just ready, waiting for death. I could go on about my life, but at this point, I can only see myself bringing out my sorrow so let me turn this around.
I realize, whenever people go online, we're only here to run away from our troubles, and seek out the good in life, reason with ourselves to cope with existing. Doing what we can to say, "It's okay, keep on dreaming" often neglecting reality. It's sad to say that it is only up to ourselves to deal with what life throws at us, and it is in our decisions, the choices that we make that help define our characters and outline who we are. Nothing will ever change until change starts within ourselves. This automatically happens whenever one strives to always improve.
For some reason, there's this idea planted in our head that we're suppose to wait until someone comes around and rescue us from our burning castle. Maybe this works for the ladies, but certain rarely happens with guys. While it's fine to live a white lie, there are moments when individuals have crossed the line and forget, before we curl into our warm little cots, we live on the flesh of humans, who are only natural to have selfish desires. There's hope though, the best part is that you'll always find that individuals who has managed to figure out that there's more to life than seeking fulfillment with one's own delicacies.
(I just wanted to add that, this most likely applies to more than half of users online, however there are plentiful creatures out there that are well-rational, and spiritual about themselves and I acknowledge and respect that.That being said, I just don't know where I'm going with my social life these days. The Furry Fandom has only made me feel a bit distant from it. I get this idea of Us VS Them. I dunno, I wouldn't be surprise if I spend much less time on the internet.)
It is the abilities of our own, the tools that we have available to allow us to construct a better life. While our resources are limited, it is in the human spirit, that history has shown us that, our drives, our determination, our blood, and our tears that allow us to conjure science fiction into reality. By allowing ourselves to be engaged with the air around us, with each breathe, words of hope, inspiration, and wisdom spreads, constantly changing, flowing flexibly like that of the water, and maintaining that fire of passion, that drive while standing firmly much like we see in nature, standing our ground. You are you, and you are what you make yourself to be.
Anyway, I've rambled a lot, I wish you all the best and best wishes. Thanks for reading, appreciate your time if you have read this far.
Where do I even start? I see, it's been quite awhile since I've updated my journal here. Mainly because, I actually write in my own little journal, just like Doug Funny from Nickelodeon, from back in the days. I mainly write in it to keep my mind flowing, to help me move on forward when I'm stuck in situations in which I feel I'm just blah or to help me wake up my mind. I suppose it's a coping method, considering the fact about reality but I'll get into all that in a moment.
The past month, I've simply went to FurFright, got sick, studying/working ever since. And that really sums up my experiences from a macro-timeline point of view.
However, we are taught either through experience, or from class, or really, any form of interaction with a life form is that, the devil is in the details. There is no macro without a micro, and my timeline has so much more when we look into the smaller, finer moments of life, that is to say, when events are only seconds away of happening.
Allow me to compose with my instrument, and illustrate my desires onto 1's and 0's, sing to you, the moments of life's bittersweet symphony.
It all starts sometime in mid-October, where I've made a last minute decision to attend FurFright. It was a whole experience, and for the most part, I think I'll leave a chunk of that in my head, and leave it for telling in person. I can sum it up into saying, that it really felt like it was an end-of-the-world con. It was quite the adventure to arrive there with my best friends, Stray and Ryken. There weren't too many other friends that were well known, but we've made the best that we got and just want to thank you guys for being there, allowing me to realize what great, jolly souls there are. Most of the time we were simply too caught up with our own troubles, and then later found out about Hurricane Sandy blowing its way towards the convention. What a mess that was, luckily we've escaped without being held back. And that's basically my trip in a nut shell.
When I arrived home, I was so happy to see the sun. Thank goodness for California's sunny weather! It allows me to realize how much I ought to appreciate what I have over here. My next concern was the classes, and assignments I had missed. My trip exhausted me to no end, and it didn't help that I got a bit sick. After talking to my professors about my trip, they took it rather well, understanding instructors. So I had to study my tail off, claw my way through textbooks and coffee until my eyes were droopy as Droopy, the dog, himself. I did it, I didn't get a perfect A, but I did manage to pull off a B which is acceptable to me.
So now some time passes, and I'm left in the early days of November. I've caught up with my assignments, and I had some rough bumps in my life here and there. My moments in Ethics class has really shaken up my world. I'm beginning to truly see my place in society, or at least, starting to. I see that culture, and values/morals of today simply do not match my standard. Culture has become too commercialized, so much that it's just too obvious when someone is being trained to buy products. I cannot stand the radio, or to watch television anymore because 1/3 of time is spent telling me what I should do. I'm entertained by either Amazon/Netflix/AMC's $6 cinemas.
To add on top of that, Mathematics has really grown onto me, and starting to rationalize, abstractively, a whole lot better than before. Instead of scribbling random numbers, there's an actual a list of invisible numbers that need to be brought out from the paper, like that of a necromancer, that raises the dead, except it's on paper, and only numbers are coming alive. Basically, I can actually do math! I have the brains to do these mystic spells, I simply have to train and earn experience crunching numbers. This has truly changed me a whole lot, because for years I've been below standards and now I'm seeing it's actually possible! So that has been nice confident booster for me. I said that twice, did I? Drats.
Well, this all comes at a cost, I suppose. Much like how summons from the Final Fantasy series take up your bloated fat head. I like to be direct these days, I really don't have anymore friends on campus, perhaps one, but I hardly see him due to his music classes. I honestly thought he was going to have one class, and perhaps spend some decent time with me. We're good buds, and we've been known for doing that. We would play Chess for a couple of hours, but he added classes, getting more practice with music. He's already received his Associates, perhaps he's still earning for B.A., I wouldn't know. I don't blame him, it is his passion, his aspiration, and I respect him for that. Part of that is my fault too, work has been really busy lately due to the holiday sales, since I'm one of the few who can be trusted, I've been working my early-morning shifts, getting the store ready for sales.
So thanks to being enslaved to work, debt, I've made myself to be quite the lonely guy, which.... I must say, for the sake of keeping my own imagine, I'm rather... good looking. ;] To make matters worse, I realize, I'm not the talkative guy and I do not like to wait until something happens. I get this from my father, and the only time I ever learn or do things with him, is to do them, quietly. It's complicated, but this just means, I'm a man of action. I talk through my actions, my gestures, and good will. I show my respect, and do what it is that gentlemen do.
Oh, and also. I've been trying to improve my health, I've gone to the dentist, and I have yet to see an optometrist. Probably doesn't make sense, since I'm fat. I'm not even going to bother with medical, I simply do not have the means, and since I'm young, I'm using that as an excuse to distort my priorities and perspective. Although, the last time I've checked, I have a nice level of cholesterol, fair blood pressure, etc.
My encounter with the dentist was painful, figuratively speaking. I visited the office to find out that my mouth needs work. I have all four wisdom teeth that need to be removed, a deep cleaning, and some other tasks, I don't quite remember. So, basically, they told me that it would cost $2,400! This is with my insurance! Although, I did get a referral, and who knows if this guy is in my network so I'm trying to see if this is really the cost. But in order to get a quote from an oral surgeon in my HMO plan, that itself is quite a chore. What makes me cynical is that, even with my insurance, I was charged to visit them and such. I got a bill from my insurance company the other day, telling me *IM* responsible for these charges. It makes me angry, because it tells me to refer to my handbook, and in my handbook, matching the ADA codes it tells me that it's covered, for free! Grrr. Now I must telephone these fools, and sort this out. Otherwise, I'm further in debt by nearly $400 for events that are out of my control.
I don't even know if I want to see the optometrist about my vision. So far, I'm pretty sure I'm fine, maybe a 19/20 but at the same time, I think I have a bit of UV damage. I'm starting to see black spots, it's not bad, I tend to have a habit of exaggerating but it's noticeable. My brain fills in the gaps, but the thought of slowly growing blind kinda gets to me, but actually okay with this. I feel like, whenever my eyes are open, I am only being deceived anyways. My eyes are sensitive to the sun, and just been driving my crazy whenever I'm out now. I really need a pair of sunglasses but I simply need to carry them, a habit that I need to address.
Anyway, perhaps in the writing, everything begins to deteriorate, and before you, is simply someone who is just ready, waiting for death. I could go on about my life, but at this point, I can only see myself bringing out my sorrow so let me turn this around.
I realize, whenever people go online, we're only here to run away from our troubles, and seek out the good in life, reason with ourselves to cope with existing. Doing what we can to say, "It's okay, keep on dreaming" often neglecting reality. It's sad to say that it is only up to ourselves to deal with what life throws at us, and it is in our decisions, the choices that we make that help define our characters and outline who we are. Nothing will ever change until change starts within ourselves. This automatically happens whenever one strives to always improve.
For some reason, there's this idea planted in our head that we're suppose to wait until someone comes around and rescue us from our burning castle. Maybe this works for the ladies, but certain rarely happens with guys. While it's fine to live a white lie, there are moments when individuals have crossed the line and forget, before we curl into our warm little cots, we live on the flesh of humans, who are only natural to have selfish desires. There's hope though, the best part is that you'll always find that individuals who has managed to figure out that there's more to life than seeking fulfillment with one's own delicacies.
(I just wanted to add that, this most likely applies to more than half of users online, however there are plentiful creatures out there that are well-rational, and spiritual about themselves and I acknowledge and respect that.That being said, I just don't know where I'm going with my social life these days. The Furry Fandom has only made me feel a bit distant from it. I get this idea of Us VS Them. I dunno, I wouldn't be surprise if I spend much less time on the internet.)
It is the abilities of our own, the tools that we have available to allow us to construct a better life. While our resources are limited, it is in the human spirit, that history has shown us that, our drives, our determination, our blood, and our tears that allow us to conjure science fiction into reality. By allowing ourselves to be engaged with the air around us, with each breathe, words of hope, inspiration, and wisdom spreads, constantly changing, flowing flexibly like that of the water, and maintaining that fire of passion, that drive while standing firmly much like we see in nature, standing our ground. You are you, and you are what you make yourself to be.
Anyway, I've rambled a lot, I wish you all the best and best wishes. Thanks for reading, appreciate your time if you have read this far.
Help a friend for FC2013
Posted 13 years agoThis message is from 
gamerwolf84
Apparently life has decided to say screw you to me in full as my planned on way of getting to FC just got ruined. Basically, the fur that was going to help me get there, my great friend Firewolf, unfortunately isn't able to get the full time off so I'm now going to have find someone else willing to drive me up to FC. IF anyone is heading up to FC on Wednesday and leaving on Tuesday and is willing to have me join them, please contact me however you can ASAP! Also, spread the word if you can as I really need the help, or else I will be missing FC next year and after the craptastic way the rest of this year has been for me since my grandmother passed away, I really, really need a good start to 2013. Also, the two room spots in the room I'm in are still open, but contact me fast because the room owner will cancel the room at the end of this month if we don't get at least 2 more to stay with us!
I really, really need the help on both of these...
If you or if you know someone who can help this awesome guy find his way to FC to have a good time, that'd be rad. Spread the word!
You can find his journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034598/
His profile: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/gamerwolf84/
gamerwolf84 Apparently life has decided to say screw you to me in full as my planned on way of getting to FC just got ruined. Basically, the fur that was going to help me get there, my great friend Firewolf, unfortunately isn't able to get the full time off so I'm now going to have find someone else willing to drive me up to FC. IF anyone is heading up to FC on Wednesday and leaving on Tuesday and is willing to have me join them, please contact me however you can ASAP! Also, spread the word if you can as I really need the help, or else I will be missing FC next year and after the craptastic way the rest of this year has been for me since my grandmother passed away, I really, really need a good start to 2013. Also, the two room spots in the room I'm in are still open, but contact me fast because the room owner will cancel the room at the end of this month if we don't get at least 2 more to stay with us!
I really, really need the help on both of these...
If you or if you know someone who can help this awesome guy find his way to FC to have a good time, that'd be rad. Spread the word!
You can find his journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034598/
His profile: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/gamerwolf84/
What's New?
Posted 13 years agoFurFright:
I couldn't get any sleep tonight, since I have some spare time here I can fill in what's been going on for those who care or whatever. :B
I've gone to FurFright wiith my BFFs Ryken and Stray. We had our amazing adventures as usual, much fun was had with a lot of folks out within our social circle. I wish I had more of a planned schedule, a to-do list of some sort, perhaps at FC, my next con-going adventure I'll be doing that.
But anyhow, we had a great and safe trip. We luckily escaped the Hurricane before it got too bad. Our flight cancelled and luckily we responded to it immediately.
College:
It's going pretty good, I'm a bit behind since I decided bros before class, and everything worked out just fine. It worked out a little too well, it's almost as if this all were suppose to happen. :x Too much coincidence been going on.
Any hoot, I had one professor who was an asshole though. I'll save the story for whenever, but pretty much, his homophobic comment made me feel uncomfortable. And even more so when students all around start to get all rallied up talking how gay some basketball player was or something. Felt so out of place, it made me feel horrible about myself. :| I can never be myself as long as I'm in this part of LA.
Well, life goes on, and what made my day was my other math prof. He's totally understanding, very respectful, and just amazed how he smiled at me, and said not to worry about a quiz we had that day. To just do it at home, and whatnot. I spent time after class and caught up in no time. This is the math professor I've been seeking for years. Someone who is passionate about math and is willing to spend time going over and always humble about it. Give this man a raaaaise!
Not much else to say, it's getting good, and probably will be getting busier as December closes in.
Work:
It's been alright. Although I need to start working more hours. I get enough to barely get by, I really need to step it up. I ought to go out and do some job-hunting. Although first, I need a car or a scooter. xD That's probably going to be my major objective. But REALLLY I think I should start with a bike.
Life:
Ehhh, I'm hoping this year is the one where I receive a wake-up call to reality. I have received some and hoping for more.
One is that, there really is a limited amount of people who show interest in my well-being. xD I try to show interest in others, sometimes, conversations continue on, other times nothing ever happens, I only feel like I'm offending the other individual because it's like, I'm asking all these questions, and I'm not being asked a single one makes me think that I should probably back off. You just know, when you talk to someone, they show little to no interest in you, so why bullshit? :O Just end it and move on. If you don't, eventually I probably will. I'm just gonna hafta to being direct. Tell it how it is! Well... I'll work on that. xD
As far as my well-being, I'm slightly sick. Practically all better, no longer reaching over for Acetaminophen to survive my busy days.
I visited the dentist. I've gone to have my teeth checked and pretty much I've been told that I gotta have all four wisdom teeth pulled out. D: And it ain't cheap either. So I'm gonna have to figure out how to pay for that. Never had dental insurance of my own. Parents rarely had me see one. And a few years ago, I had insurance with the state but then it was taken away from me. Eh.
I'm probably gonna try and lose weight. I know, for some, perhaps I'm attractive for having such a gut ;) and I thank you, but finding love is limited when your the big guy. :\ Simply not enough love. My idea is to broaden my horizons, by perhaps, being more fit and lean. Not necessarily going to drop a major amount here, but enough to the point where someone sees and loves me for who I am, rather than what I am. What I am is all extra. ;]
But enough rambling, I'm sure this is probably too much of a journal.
Sorry, I'm rather addicted to writing I suppose. Anyhow, I hope you all have a great weekend.
I couldn't get any sleep tonight, since I have some spare time here I can fill in what's been going on for those who care or whatever. :B
I've gone to FurFright wiith my BFFs Ryken and Stray. We had our amazing adventures as usual, much fun was had with a lot of folks out within our social circle. I wish I had more of a planned schedule, a to-do list of some sort, perhaps at FC, my next con-going adventure I'll be doing that.
But anyhow, we had a great and safe trip. We luckily escaped the Hurricane before it got too bad. Our flight cancelled and luckily we responded to it immediately.
College:
It's going pretty good, I'm a bit behind since I decided bros before class, and everything worked out just fine. It worked out a little too well, it's almost as if this all were suppose to happen. :x Too much coincidence been going on.
Any hoot, I had one professor who was an asshole though. I'll save the story for whenever, but pretty much, his homophobic comment made me feel uncomfortable. And even more so when students all around start to get all rallied up talking how gay some basketball player was or something. Felt so out of place, it made me feel horrible about myself. :| I can never be myself as long as I'm in this part of LA.
Well, life goes on, and what made my day was my other math prof. He's totally understanding, very respectful, and just amazed how he smiled at me, and said not to worry about a quiz we had that day. To just do it at home, and whatnot. I spent time after class and caught up in no time. This is the math professor I've been seeking for years. Someone who is passionate about math and is willing to spend time going over and always humble about it. Give this man a raaaaise!
Not much else to say, it's getting good, and probably will be getting busier as December closes in.
Work:
It's been alright. Although I need to start working more hours. I get enough to barely get by, I really need to step it up. I ought to go out and do some job-hunting. Although first, I need a car or a scooter. xD That's probably going to be my major objective. But REALLLY I think I should start with a bike.
Life:
Ehhh, I'm hoping this year is the one where I receive a wake-up call to reality. I have received some and hoping for more.
One is that, there really is a limited amount of people who show interest in my well-being. xD I try to show interest in others, sometimes, conversations continue on, other times nothing ever happens, I only feel like I'm offending the other individual because it's like, I'm asking all these questions, and I'm not being asked a single one makes me think that I should probably back off. You just know, when you talk to someone, they show little to no interest in you, so why bullshit? :O Just end it and move on. If you don't, eventually I probably will. I'm just gonna hafta to being direct. Tell it how it is! Well... I'll work on that. xD
As far as my well-being, I'm slightly sick. Practically all better, no longer reaching over for Acetaminophen to survive my busy days.
I visited the dentist. I've gone to have my teeth checked and pretty much I've been told that I gotta have all four wisdom teeth pulled out. D: And it ain't cheap either. So I'm gonna have to figure out how to pay for that. Never had dental insurance of my own. Parents rarely had me see one. And a few years ago, I had insurance with the state but then it was taken away from me. Eh.
I'm probably gonna try and lose weight. I know, for some, perhaps I'm attractive for having such a gut ;) and I thank you, but finding love is limited when your the big guy. :\ Simply not enough love. My idea is to broaden my horizons, by perhaps, being more fit and lean. Not necessarily going to drop a major amount here, but enough to the point where someone sees and loves me for who I am, rather than what I am. What I am is all extra. ;]
But enough rambling, I'm sure this is probably too much of a journal.
Sorry, I'm rather addicted to writing I suppose. Anyhow, I hope you all have a great weekend.
Altruistic nerd, lv 25.
Posted 13 years agoI should probably give some updates.
My birthday is coming up in 10 days! :O So on the 15th of October, I'll be 25. Which means my whole life is divisible by 5. :3c
College: It's been going well. Better than I expected actually. Maybe it's because I'm taking it more seriously, or perhaps the living conditions allow me to realize what I'm doing.
Math simply seems like the foreign language I enjoy learning. It's a language I like to talk to late at night, or early morning. There is only truth and sometimes, it talks back, simply telling me that there is no clear answer. I'm no math whizz, I'm barely at the edge of mastering intermediate algebra. Although, I'm sure I will continue to learn up to Calculus. And perhaps further if I can continue to rationalize.
Ethics. This class explains sooooo much on why I am. I realize that I'm actually an altruistic person. Well, at least trying to be. I'm sure you all are aware of egoism, ego-centric people. Well, I'm the opposite. :T Instead of focusing on me. I like to focus on you and willing to make reasonable sacrifices for it. I like the idea of the greater good! How one person can make a change or difference that can affect so much in time. :o
But anyways, I've been such a nerd these past days. Reading two different books, and listening to an audiobook inbetween. Go figure. xD
Plus, I'm truly trying to make time for friends. I tend to be lonely these days due to my hectic schedule. Been meditating, and just really trying to keep myself in check. I know I'm going somewhere in this world. My heart keeps on beating and thus a reason to thrive on this journey of life and death. Trying to enjoy what I can on the way.
Don't have much else to say. Anyway, I hope you all have a great October, enjoy the Halloween-themed month.
And much respect to
sharpt00th for this awesome icon~
Toodles!
My birthday is coming up in 10 days! :O So on the 15th of October, I'll be 25. Which means my whole life is divisible by 5. :3c
College: It's been going well. Better than I expected actually. Maybe it's because I'm taking it more seriously, or perhaps the living conditions allow me to realize what I'm doing.
Math simply seems like the foreign language I enjoy learning. It's a language I like to talk to late at night, or early morning. There is only truth and sometimes, it talks back, simply telling me that there is no clear answer. I'm no math whizz, I'm barely at the edge of mastering intermediate algebra. Although, I'm sure I will continue to learn up to Calculus. And perhaps further if I can continue to rationalize.
Ethics. This class explains sooooo much on why I am. I realize that I'm actually an altruistic person. Well, at least trying to be. I'm sure you all are aware of egoism, ego-centric people. Well, I'm the opposite. :T Instead of focusing on me. I like to focus on you and willing to make reasonable sacrifices for it. I like the idea of the greater good! How one person can make a change or difference that can affect so much in time. :o
But anyways, I've been such a nerd these past days. Reading two different books, and listening to an audiobook inbetween. Go figure. xD
Plus, I'm truly trying to make time for friends. I tend to be lonely these days due to my hectic schedule. Been meditating, and just really trying to keep myself in check. I know I'm going somewhere in this world. My heart keeps on beating and thus a reason to thrive on this journey of life and death. Trying to enjoy what I can on the way.
Don't have much else to say. Anyway, I hope you all have a great October, enjoy the Halloween-themed month.
And much respect to
sharpt00th for this awesome icon~Toodles!
Friend in need
Posted 13 years agoYo, 
trauron is in need of a place to stay in Ottawa. If you or know someone that can help out, you can find out more info here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3877526/
trauron is in need of a place to stay in Ottawa. If you or know someone that can help out, you can find out more info here:http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3877526/
Guild Wars 2
Posted 13 years agoThrow yo hands in da air if youse a true playa~
My ID be RawrDragon.4236
Crystal Desert be my place.
Holla!
My ID be RawrDragon.4236
Crystal Desert be my place.
Holla!
Improvements
Posted 13 years agoI suppose I'm due for an update of some sort. For those who are interested, or simply been doin' your own thing, you can refer to this thing to know what's been up. This is merely a moment for me to collect my thoughts and share my feelings for those with curious hearts.
Note: Been keeping things on the down-low. Perhaps not healthy for me but it is, what it is. So I'm going to let it here, parts of it whether to be ridiculed for just being another stereotypical "Furry" journal or some shit. Whatever, I'll take the hit, if I have to. I'm not looking for sympathies, I don't need it. All you need to know, is
I'm a survivor.
****
College starts next week. I look rather forward to it! I'm going to be taking two Math classes and one Ethics class, so this is going to be an interesting semester. I'm pretty much going to spend my Tuesdays/Thursdays on campus for the majority of the day, so thank goodness I have my laptop to keep me a bit sane in the downtime. I'm contemplating on starting a Chess Club of some sort, I don't know if there's any interest in that since it's a pretty ghetto campus but we'll see! Today I'm a follower, but tomorrow, I'll be a leader damnit! :3
Choosing a career is a bit uncertain at the moment, I'm thinking an engineer of some sort would be nice. Perhaps in Computer or Electrical maybe even Robotics of some sort. Not sure, I realize why I'm so indecisive on why I can't choose. I've had quite an interesting talk with one of the many ladies I talk to at work. :P Man, the downside of being a homosexual. Could totallly go out with these chicks. xD It's been weird now that I've become the Alpha-male at night. :x lol
But anyways, aside from that, It was quite enlightening to hear their stories, their struggles, and just been exchanging words of encouragement. I've realized that, and said this to her,
"When you wake up and realize your situation, your whole world shatters. When you simply feel like a cog in the gear, you aren't able to see the skies anymore. You're merely a replaceable part in this machine where you aren't allowed to dream, and when you dare to think, you're punished by only working harder. You're body is too sore to fight back at this point, and you simply let life control you."
Just blew my own mind, saying this stuff without realizing it. It as rather deep, and I'm glad I had this conversation because I don't think I'd be posting this here.
All my life, I've grew up dreaming of being able to create/control robots. But because of my early years, I've been told that I've always been stupid, an idiot, a good-for-nothing fatass who only brought shame and misery upon my entire family. I believed it throughout my life.
Time after time, I'd cry into the evening. I couldn't have any pets as my father would kill or abuse them as he did to me. I couldn't have friends over because my father would flip out, and break my video games. I suppose this is why I never really finished my SNES games. I remember I also had suuchh a huge interest in outer space! I loved the moon, stars, planets and all that jazz. I remember when I was certain I wanted to be an astronomer too! But it just never worked out that way. The day I got a telescope for Christmas was the day my dad humiliated me infront of all my neighborhood friends and broke it in the street for all to see and serve as a warning. He really didn't want me to share it with my friends, but I still did anyways. Eventually my friends left me. I had no one, and I remember those nights where I just laid on my lawn, and stared at the night skies. One night I saw a shooting star, and just made a simply wish. I didn't want toys, I didn't want video games, although they would have been nice, I just wished I had some friends.
And you know, I'm happy to say that I know plenty of great friends. Friends that are genuinely interested in me, as what friends do, playing video games, going on adventures whenever it's possible, and checking up on me to see what's up. You know who you are. I just wanted to take this moment and thank you all for putting up with my bullshit.
It's a lot getting off my chest, but I suppose this is a step in the healing process. :]
I brought the past up, because looking back, I've gone through plenty and now, seeing myself, I've come a long way of becoming a better person. I feel like I'm slowly coming out of my shell, breaking down defensive barriers. Simply making improvements upon my life for once.
Instead of being so needy, I'm finding my way to becoming independent. Instead of being stupid, I've taken an interest in learning all sorts of subjects out there the integrating them together. It's fun to me! I feel like I've made a difference among my family and friends. My body image is fine, I don't feel as insecure as I have before. I had it pretty bad where I'd always wear a sweatshirt because I didn't want anyone to see my belly. But now I'm totalllyy okay with that. ;D I'm sexy and I know it! Bwahah!
So when I go back to campus, this should make an interesting comeback. I'm a whole completely different person than I was before. I'm sure I'll make plenty of friends, I'll do well in class because I've been reassured by other local friends that I'm a pretty bright person, and for once I don't even feel nervous, I actually have confidence in myself. :3
Sooo yep! Just been doin' some soul-searchin' and just learning to becoming a better person. I realize my flaws and working at them. I suppose I can be a bit of a narcissistic person, I don't know if this one of those flaws, I like to know how I'm doing, in order to find acceptance from others. :x
LOVE ME!!! D8
lol
Anyway, I hope you fellas are doing swell. I know some of you are going back to campus. I wish you guys the best! And well, you others are going to work twice as much, and all I can say is, think of da monneeyyy essseee! ;D Before you know it, Winter will be here~ <3 Can't wait until the cool breezy days come along~ Heee
Cheers!
Note: Been keeping things on the down-low. Perhaps not healthy for me but it is, what it is. So I'm going to let it here, parts of it whether to be ridiculed for just being another stereotypical "Furry" journal or some shit. Whatever, I'll take the hit, if I have to. I'm not looking for sympathies, I don't need it. All you need to know, is
I'm a survivor.
****
College starts next week. I look rather forward to it! I'm going to be taking two Math classes and one Ethics class, so this is going to be an interesting semester. I'm pretty much going to spend my Tuesdays/Thursdays on campus for the majority of the day, so thank goodness I have my laptop to keep me a bit sane in the downtime. I'm contemplating on starting a Chess Club of some sort, I don't know if there's any interest in that since it's a pretty ghetto campus but we'll see! Today I'm a follower, but tomorrow, I'll be a leader damnit! :3
Choosing a career is a bit uncertain at the moment, I'm thinking an engineer of some sort would be nice. Perhaps in Computer or Electrical maybe even Robotics of some sort. Not sure, I realize why I'm so indecisive on why I can't choose. I've had quite an interesting talk with one of the many ladies I talk to at work. :P Man, the downside of being a homosexual. Could totallly go out with these chicks. xD It's been weird now that I've become the Alpha-male at night. :x lol
But anyways, aside from that, It was quite enlightening to hear their stories, their struggles, and just been exchanging words of encouragement. I've realized that, and said this to her,
"When you wake up and realize your situation, your whole world shatters. When you simply feel like a cog in the gear, you aren't able to see the skies anymore. You're merely a replaceable part in this machine where you aren't allowed to dream, and when you dare to think, you're punished by only working harder. You're body is too sore to fight back at this point, and you simply let life control you."
Just blew my own mind, saying this stuff without realizing it. It as rather deep, and I'm glad I had this conversation because I don't think I'd be posting this here.
All my life, I've grew up dreaming of being able to create/control robots. But because of my early years, I've been told that I've always been stupid, an idiot, a good-for-nothing fatass who only brought shame and misery upon my entire family. I believed it throughout my life.
Time after time, I'd cry into the evening. I couldn't have any pets as my father would kill or abuse them as he did to me. I couldn't have friends over because my father would flip out, and break my video games. I suppose this is why I never really finished my SNES games. I remember I also had suuchh a huge interest in outer space! I loved the moon, stars, planets and all that jazz. I remember when I was certain I wanted to be an astronomer too! But it just never worked out that way. The day I got a telescope for Christmas was the day my dad humiliated me infront of all my neighborhood friends and broke it in the street for all to see and serve as a warning. He really didn't want me to share it with my friends, but I still did anyways. Eventually my friends left me. I had no one, and I remember those nights where I just laid on my lawn, and stared at the night skies. One night I saw a shooting star, and just made a simply wish. I didn't want toys, I didn't want video games, although they would have been nice, I just wished I had some friends.
And you know, I'm happy to say that I know plenty of great friends. Friends that are genuinely interested in me, as what friends do, playing video games, going on adventures whenever it's possible, and checking up on me to see what's up. You know who you are. I just wanted to take this moment and thank you all for putting up with my bullshit.
It's a lot getting off my chest, but I suppose this is a step in the healing process. :]
I brought the past up, because looking back, I've gone through plenty and now, seeing myself, I've come a long way of becoming a better person. I feel like I'm slowly coming out of my shell, breaking down defensive barriers. Simply making improvements upon my life for once.
Instead of being so needy, I'm finding my way to becoming independent. Instead of being stupid, I've taken an interest in learning all sorts of subjects out there the integrating them together. It's fun to me! I feel like I've made a difference among my family and friends. My body image is fine, I don't feel as insecure as I have before. I had it pretty bad where I'd always wear a sweatshirt because I didn't want anyone to see my belly. But now I'm totalllyy okay with that. ;D I'm sexy and I know it! Bwahah!
So when I go back to campus, this should make an interesting comeback. I'm a whole completely different person than I was before. I'm sure I'll make plenty of friends, I'll do well in class because I've been reassured by other local friends that I'm a pretty bright person, and for once I don't even feel nervous, I actually have confidence in myself. :3
Sooo yep! Just been doin' some soul-searchin' and just learning to becoming a better person. I realize my flaws and working at them. I suppose I can be a bit of a narcissistic person, I don't know if this one of those flaws, I like to know how I'm doing, in order to find acceptance from others. :x
LOVE ME!!! D8
lol
Anyway, I hope you fellas are doing swell. I know some of you are going back to campus. I wish you guys the best! And well, you others are going to work twice as much, and all I can say is, think of da monneeyyy essseee! ;D Before you know it, Winter will be here~ <3 Can't wait until the cool breezy days come along~ Heee
Cheers!
Lovely Day
Posted 13 years agoFuckin' 
. LOL We chatted a bit. Most of you who know the possi will get that this only means trouble.
So here's a small story of humor. Bare with me here.
At work, I keep hearing this song, and I can't get it out of my head. It's this one here. Note the pitch is a bit higher than normal 'cause youtube is a dick but the reason I'm pointing this particular video out of the others is due to the comments.
After you listen to the song, you see it say, "Lovely Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(3 hours later)aaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" Hahahah, when I saw that, I was like.. FOR REALLS!! THATS ALL HE FUCKIN' SAYS!! XD
But what really caught me waaay off guard was this comment, " i listen to this song when im cutting off my arm" <- I'm like dafuq? Why is this the highest comment? D: I thought this guy meant this is what he listens to, to cut his wrist. >->
Ryken, his stoner friend were all laughing at me because this song is pretty gay. So what! But then at the random-ass comments too. LOADS OF LAUGHTER were had. ;D
So I had to freakin' look into the comments and the movie 127 hours popped up. I've never seen this movie.
And then there's a scene which plays this song. LOL I saw this video, there -> http://vimeo.com/28444920
YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAND! /spongebob
I died laughing because it all clicked together! Here's a song that I just heard at work, and CANNOT get out of my head and now apparently this is the song you play when you need to cut your arm off. 8| So now I have this song stuck and I cannot help but think about cutting your arm.
The most randomest shit ever.
But yeah.
Fun.
☆彡 ☆ミ ●～* ●～* ☆ミ ☆ミ ●～* !
. LOL We chatted a bit. Most of you who know the possi will get that this only means trouble.So here's a small story of humor. Bare with me here.
At work, I keep hearing this song, and I can't get it out of my head. It's this one here. Note the pitch is a bit higher than normal 'cause youtube is a dick but the reason I'm pointing this particular video out of the others is due to the comments.
After you listen to the song, you see it say, "Lovely Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(3 hours later)aaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" Hahahah, when I saw that, I was like.. FOR REALLS!! THATS ALL HE FUCKIN' SAYS!! XD
But what really caught me waaay off guard was this comment, " i listen to this song when im cutting off my arm" <- I'm like dafuq? Why is this the highest comment? D: I thought this guy meant this is what he listens to, to cut his wrist. >->
Ryken, his stoner friend were all laughing at me because this song is pretty gay. So what! But then at the random-ass comments too. LOADS OF LAUGHTER were had. ;D
So I had to freakin' look into the comments and the movie 127 hours popped up. I've never seen this movie.
And then there's a scene which plays this song. LOL I saw this video, there -> http://vimeo.com/28444920
YOU DONT UNDERSTAAAAND! /spongebob
I died laughing because it all clicked together! Here's a song that I just heard at work, and CANNOT get out of my head and now apparently this is the song you play when you need to cut your arm off. 8| So now I have this song stuck and I cannot help but think about cutting your arm.
The most randomest shit ever.
But yeah.
Fun.
☆彡 ☆ミ ●～* ●～* ☆ミ ☆ミ ●～* !
Updates
Posted 13 years agoHow's it going everyone? I hope that all of y'allz are having a great Summer so far!!
Life has been great! Things just may be coming my way. I'm hoping that I may get promoted at work, the majority of my co-workers put kind words for me in and I found that to be quite touching. That'd solve a majority of my problems! :o You don't even know.... ;=;
Been busy here and there, and I've changed up my gaming habits. I'm starting to play Chess. I'm trying to get back to my roots, as a kid I grew up playing and stopped. But I've been sparked with inspiration to play again. Then it hit me, are there any Chess communities here on FA? If not, makes me wonder...
Would you guys be interested if I created a Chess community for us fuzzy n' scalies alike? Every day I learn that people play and I never know about it. So on top of that, do you play Chess? :3
With all said and done, I feel like I need to freshen up my page with a new ID and some arts I never uploaded. I'd post a random pic of my dragon self, but... naw. In ways, I've slowly made it more like my actual self. Even though my dragon-y self and my actual self are two seperate entities.
I find myself spending less time here, so if I miss something you want to show me, lemme know or le'go.
Anyway, see you all around! :]
Life has been great! Things just may be coming my way. I'm hoping that I may get promoted at work, the majority of my co-workers put kind words for me in and I found that to be quite touching. That'd solve a majority of my problems! :o You don't even know.... ;=;
Been busy here and there, and I've changed up my gaming habits. I'm starting to play Chess. I'm trying to get back to my roots, as a kid I grew up playing and stopped. But I've been sparked with inspiration to play again. Then it hit me, are there any Chess communities here on FA? If not, makes me wonder...
Would you guys be interested if I created a Chess community for us fuzzy n' scalies alike? Every day I learn that people play and I never know about it. So on top of that, do you play Chess? :3
With all said and done, I feel like I need to freshen up my page with a new ID and some arts I never uploaded. I'd post a random pic of my dragon self, but... naw. In ways, I've slowly made it more like my actual self. Even though my dragon-y self and my actual self are two seperate entities.
I find myself spending less time here, so if I miss something you want to show me, lemme know or le'go.
Anyway, see you all around! :]
Thoughts/Understanding?
Posted 13 years agoHellooo everyone!
Enjoying your Summer I hope?
For once, things have been pretty decent.
I have about 1 month till college starts up again. I got like, two math classes, and an Ethics class. So I'm gonna be hella busy for the most part. I hope the stress doesn't kill me. My main concern is just figuring out a way to get of here though.
Nobody understands my living situation, and for the most part, it's just better that nobody knows. ;P But I feel like I need to explain a little for others to understand my actions/behavior/reasoning among friends.
I've lived, I've learned, n' I get it.
Nobody likes drama so I usually keep that shit on the down-low. But lately, I feel like, I gotta say a few things for other people to understand what goes on.
(Rant/drama?)
Ever since my family and I been evicted, I share rooms. Thus, I only have about a 6' x 12' living space which only fits one bed, and then my desk. My brother lives in the other space. This doesn't quite give me the privacy I desire but who am I to complain? I'm glad I have a roof over my head. :P
The lack of privacy is hard to deal with because I can't be myself. He doesn't know I'm gay, and all that shizz. :B So it's like.. I can't even talk to friends on the phone or online. Texting is OK, but you get what I mean. And because of this, I talk very low to compensate for my true voice. :p Talk about insecurities, right? XD That's just the beginning.
Basically, I'm pretty much the head-household in my place. It's complicated as to why but my point is this. I'm the go-to guy so randomly, there are matters I have to attend to. So don't freak out if I don't respond or something. Sheesh. :V
I'm kind of mixed with RPing. I love to RP, it's great to fantasize but at the same time, I'm caught up with life. I like to talk about real life stuff too. I like to get philosophical, I like to think. But mostly, I like a good laugh too.
And boy if you met me IRL, it's really fuckin' easy to do that. lol No joke. That and smiling. :3
I don't want anyone to see this post as a complaint. I just want you all to feel me for one second and understand where I'm coming from in life. I have my reasons and it's always open for debate should you want to talk about it.
I'm simply doing my part, going to work, savin' bits of money, college and blah blah. I like to say that I can be an up-beat person IRL if we can find something to laugh about. ^^'' But I can be awkward too. lol
(/Rant-Drama?)
I'm not looking for sympathies. I just want everyone to be happy. :\ An impossible task, I know. But I like to dream.
Eh, I have much more on my mind, but I gotta get some sleep. x| I got work at 2AM. Yeuhh! Lezz do 'dis.
Enjoying your Summer I hope?
For once, things have been pretty decent.
I have about 1 month till college starts up again. I got like, two math classes, and an Ethics class. So I'm gonna be hella busy for the most part. I hope the stress doesn't kill me. My main concern is just figuring out a way to get of here though.
Nobody understands my living situation, and for the most part, it's just better that nobody knows. ;P But I feel like I need to explain a little for others to understand my actions/behavior/reasoning among friends.
I've lived, I've learned, n' I get it.
Nobody likes drama so I usually keep that shit on the down-low. But lately, I feel like, I gotta say a few things for other people to understand what goes on.
(Rant/drama?)
Ever since my family and I been evicted, I share rooms. Thus, I only have about a 6' x 12' living space which only fits one bed, and then my desk. My brother lives in the other space. This doesn't quite give me the privacy I desire but who am I to complain? I'm glad I have a roof over my head. :P
The lack of privacy is hard to deal with because I can't be myself. He doesn't know I'm gay, and all that shizz. :B So it's like.. I can't even talk to friends on the phone or online. Texting is OK, but you get what I mean. And because of this, I talk very low to compensate for my true voice. :p Talk about insecurities, right? XD That's just the beginning.
Basically, I'm pretty much the head-household in my place. It's complicated as to why but my point is this. I'm the go-to guy so randomly, there are matters I have to attend to. So don't freak out if I don't respond or something. Sheesh. :V
I'm kind of mixed with RPing. I love to RP, it's great to fantasize but at the same time, I'm caught up with life. I like to talk about real life stuff too. I like to get philosophical, I like to think. But mostly, I like a good laugh too.
And boy if you met me IRL, it's really fuckin' easy to do that. lol No joke. That and smiling. :3
I don't want anyone to see this post as a complaint. I just want you all to feel me for one second and understand where I'm coming from in life. I have my reasons and it's always open for debate should you want to talk about it.
I'm simply doing my part, going to work, savin' bits of money, college and blah blah. I like to say that I can be an up-beat person IRL if we can find something to laugh about. ^^'' But I can be awkward too. lol
(/Rant-Drama?)
I'm not looking for sympathies. I just want everyone to be happy. :\ An impossible task, I know. But I like to dream.
Eh, I have much more on my mind, but I gotta get some sleep. x| I got work at 2AM. Yeuhh! Lezz do 'dis.
Summer~
Posted 13 years agoMan, quite a bit of time has passed. lol It's Summerrrr~
I've gone to FC and had a blast, then went to AC a week or so later. I had a great time, like all others! :3 Did all sorts of crazy shit and whatnot, haha.
That's pretty much all the cons for me this year, and so now to start savin' for next year cons. Hopefully I can make it to all of them! :]
Now that things are starting to slow down, I figured I should put out what I've been up to these days.
Majority of the time is spent working, and quite often I'd go out with co-workers and have a girls night out sort of thing. Hah. xD Drinking, eating, being merry. Gossiping and all sorts of crazy adventures. I love it cause, I get free booze and food! Haha, you know how some ladies are weight conscience n' shizz. ;D
Aside from that, throughout the week I spend it gaming, watching videos or sleeping. :o While it sounds great, it's not. XD The twist is my schedule is wack, I got those grave-yard shifts so a lot of time I'm getting mah beauty sleep on~
I don't think I'll be drawing anytime soon, or making music and junk. I really don't have any will for it at this time. I guess I've just gotten really lazy or my computer is my greatest enemy and causes me to procrastinate like hell :B
Which reminds me, I'm probably gonna be active throughout Summer, but once college starts up again, I may be more active or perhaps not, depending on how classes go. This year I got two math classes and well... yeah. D: My brain is gonna catch on fiiiiyaaa!
But eh, you gaiz can find me on Steam for the most part since I'm doin' the gamin' thing. But my other contact info is there too.
Pretty much it, hah, probably gonna be my only journal for the Summer so I hope you guys have a great time, enjoy yourselves, be safe!! My god, I know it's that time of month to be partying so be sure to not be hazy out on the street n' all that. X)
I've gone to FC and had a blast, then went to AC a week or so later. I had a great time, like all others! :3 Did all sorts of crazy shit and whatnot, haha.
That's pretty much all the cons for me this year, and so now to start savin' for next year cons. Hopefully I can make it to all of them! :]
Now that things are starting to slow down, I figured I should put out what I've been up to these days.
Majority of the time is spent working, and quite often I'd go out with co-workers and have a girls night out sort of thing. Hah. xD Drinking, eating, being merry. Gossiping and all sorts of crazy adventures. I love it cause, I get free booze and food! Haha, you know how some ladies are weight conscience n' shizz. ;D
Aside from that, throughout the week I spend it gaming, watching videos or sleeping. :o While it sounds great, it's not. XD The twist is my schedule is wack, I got those grave-yard shifts so a lot of time I'm getting mah beauty sleep on~
I don't think I'll be drawing anytime soon, or making music and junk. I really don't have any will for it at this time. I guess I've just gotten really lazy or my computer is my greatest enemy and causes me to procrastinate like hell :B
Which reminds me, I'm probably gonna be active throughout Summer, but once college starts up again, I may be more active or perhaps not, depending on how classes go. This year I got two math classes and well... yeah. D: My brain is gonna catch on fiiiiyaaa!
But eh, you gaiz can find me on Steam for the most part since I'm doin' the gamin' thing. But my other contact info is there too.
Pretty much it, hah, probably gonna be my only journal for the Summer so I hope you guys have a great time, enjoy yourselves, be safe!! My god, I know it's that time of month to be partying so be sure to not be hazy out on the street n' all that. X)
AC 2012
Posted 13 years agoWelp!
If you dont know by now, I'm going to AC! It's almost here! It's been nearly two years since I've last gone and well, who knows if I'll make it again next year.
Anyway, not sure who's going or whatever but if ya wanna meet up sometime at some point, holla!
:3
So much has happened, I'll probably post something up about what I've been up to these days. But for now, just time to enjoy my time off.
Hope you all are doing well though!
If you dont know by now, I'm going to AC! It's almost here! It's been nearly two years since I've last gone and well, who knows if I'll make it again next year.
Anyway, not sure who's going or whatever but if ya wanna meet up sometime at some point, holla!
:3
So much has happened, I'll probably post something up about what I've been up to these days. But for now, just time to enjoy my time off.
Hope you all are doing well though!
Con season
Posted 13 years agoWell! It's almost con season! :o
I wanted to throw out there and say I maaay go to CaliFur, if not, for sure to AC.
I'm simply thrived and excited~
Are any of you guys planning on going or ?
I wanted to throw out there and say I maaay go to CaliFur, if not, for sure to AC.
I'm simply thrived and excited~
Are any of you guys planning on going or ?
Kink/Fetish Meme
Posted 13 years agoSure why not, I'm seeing some folks do it. I might as well jump in on the bandwagon.
Ask away and I'll tell ya if I do or don't. Along with any other thoughts to it. ;]
Ask away and I'll tell ya if I do or don't. Along with any other thoughts to it. ;]
Tumblr + Twitter!
Posted 13 years agoI recently got a tumblr account and it just occurred to me that I haven't mentioned to anyone that I also have a twitter.
You can find me, here
Tumblr: http://rawrdragon777.tumblr.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/RawrDragon777
Viola!
Back to trying to draw. xP
You can find me, here
Tumblr: http://rawrdragon777.tumblr.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/RawrDragon777
Viola!
Back to trying to draw. xP
Inactivity
Posted 13 years agoOften I find myself more and more distant with folks. And it's often due to my inactivity I think. Been busy simply working, eating and sleeping nowadays. Yeah, I know that's not really a great excuse, but it's the only thing I can really think of.
I tend to be a bit of a hermit IRL and this kind of affects me online and I'll explain. I've been traumatized with plenty of times in life, growing up too fast is one of them but socializing has been one of those things that got me the worst.
My parents would get angry and freak out whenever I have friends over, and kick them out on the spot. I've had friends who were part of a small gang, friends who were thieves, and friends who would hurt me and I thought these things were all okay at one point. I've been robbed by friends, been humiliated, manipulated and beaten up by them. So over the years I turned into a monster, in which one day, I found my way through video games, and pets. Although pets didn't last long. But I had video games! Then R.L. Stine, then the internet! THEN ONLINE PLAY. ZOMG. Ragnarok Online ruined my HS social life. lol Or rather, I've just been too different.
And you know, I still am. Sometimes I feel like, I don't really quite fit in here on FA. I can't art anymore, I've tried. Instead, I just draw the same things over which is just creepy now. I might give a hand a writing, I dunno. I'm not going to spend my hard earned money on art just to be popular. Nor am I going to sex up and mingle with random strangers. To earn fame. I know I have my needs, I have a bit of lust, it's all part of being human and all but I have standards. Plus, there's only so much you can to do. I want something REAAALLL. ;P But anyways, I digress.
I want to me known for being me. But the problem is I don't quite know what it is that makes me, me. So I know, there's a bit of a catch 22 there lol I'm trying to find my way. I'm really a curious person, so often times, I'm always looking at random things, constantly trying to find activities that reflect my mood at that moment. I'm always trying to find ways to be a better person.
Like right now, I'm looking into Hydroponics ! It's the art of gardening without soil. I've always wanted to grow things. Why? Because I just really love nature, in so many ways. I'm truly blessed to live in California where I can truly explore different climates. And of course, my heart is at the beach. I mean, I dunno if it's because I was born by it but maan. Sea life is truly amazing. But the same with flowers, and animals out in the forest too !
As you can see, I'm slowly starting to steer my way off the grid and into the great outdoors. A few catches are, I can't quite travel around just yet cause I'm still lacking a car... but there are buses. Not that I've used it often but I just might. So this just makes me want to read or study what I can. I always try to learn something new and look into it. I like putting things together. But anyways, at this moment now, I'm often just been zombified lately because of work.
I dunno, there's just so much on my mind. A lot of times, it leaves me gloomy. I figured out that it's cause I'm tired or just lacking vitamins or something, I dunno. Temporary feelings. That's all.
Anyway, if you wanna keep touch, there's always one way or another, I try to make the time whenever I'm online. But of course, I only have so much.
But anyways, how are you? :o
I tend to be a bit of a hermit IRL and this kind of affects me online and I'll explain. I've been traumatized with plenty of times in life, growing up too fast is one of them but socializing has been one of those things that got me the worst.
My parents would get angry and freak out whenever I have friends over, and kick them out on the spot. I've had friends who were part of a small gang, friends who were thieves, and friends who would hurt me and I thought these things were all okay at one point. I've been robbed by friends, been humiliated, manipulated and beaten up by them. So over the years I turned into a monster, in which one day, I found my way through video games, and pets. Although pets didn't last long. But I had video games! Then R.L. Stine, then the internet! THEN ONLINE PLAY. ZOMG. Ragnarok Online ruined my HS social life. lol Or rather, I've just been too different.
And you know, I still am. Sometimes I feel like, I don't really quite fit in here on FA. I can't art anymore, I've tried. Instead, I just draw the same things over which is just creepy now. I might give a hand a writing, I dunno. I'm not going to spend my hard earned money on art just to be popular. Nor am I going to sex up and mingle with random strangers. To earn fame. I know I have my needs, I have a bit of lust, it's all part of being human and all but I have standards. Plus, there's only so much you can to do. I want something REAAALLL. ;P But anyways, I digress.
I want to me known for being me. But the problem is I don't quite know what it is that makes me, me. So I know, there's a bit of a catch 22 there lol I'm trying to find my way. I'm really a curious person, so often times, I'm always looking at random things, constantly trying to find activities that reflect my mood at that moment. I'm always trying to find ways to be a better person.
Like right now, I'm looking into Hydroponics ! It's the art of gardening without soil. I've always wanted to grow things. Why? Because I just really love nature, in so many ways. I'm truly blessed to live in California where I can truly explore different climates. And of course, my heart is at the beach. I mean, I dunno if it's because I was born by it but maan. Sea life is truly amazing. But the same with flowers, and animals out in the forest too !
As you can see, I'm slowly starting to steer my way off the grid and into the great outdoors. A few catches are, I can't quite travel around just yet cause I'm still lacking a car... but there are buses. Not that I've used it often but I just might. So this just makes me want to read or study what I can. I always try to learn something new and look into it. I like putting things together. But anyways, at this moment now, I'm often just been zombified lately because of work.
I dunno, there's just so much on my mind. A lot of times, it leaves me gloomy. I figured out that it's cause I'm tired or just lacking vitamins or something, I dunno. Temporary feelings. That's all.
Anyway, if you wanna keep touch, there's always one way or another, I try to make the time whenever I'm online. But of course, I only have so much.
But anyways, how are you? :o
Puttin' it out there
Posted 14 years agoAiiight. I figured I'd say a thing or two since it's been awhile.
I've been rather busy these days, workin', going out and hitting the gym. It's been tricky trying to find a balanced schedule to get to spend some quality time with some of you folks but I'm sure in time I'll figure something out. I actually intentionally did this since I'm taking a semester off, I have to keep myself busy otherwise I'd go crazy.
I haven't done anything fancy or artsy in awhile only because it's kinda hard to draw things when you're sharing a room with a sibling. ;o Sooo, I'm putting that on hold and may get back to it next month.
Not much else to say other than that.
I've been rather busy these days, workin', going out and hitting the gym. It's been tricky trying to find a balanced schedule to get to spend some quality time with some of you folks but I'm sure in time I'll figure something out. I actually intentionally did this since I'm taking a semester off, I have to keep myself busy otherwise I'd go crazy.
I haven't done anything fancy or artsy in awhile only because it's kinda hard to draw things when you're sharing a room with a sibling. ;o Sooo, I'm putting that on hold and may get back to it next month.
Not much else to say other than that.
Happy (belated) Birthday, Athus
Posted 14 years agoI send this message of love for you on the behalf of friends and myself. For the day has passed, your birthday, gone. Perhaps tomorrow, and the next, your great spirit affects all. Those worthy may soar beyond the stars, free. Although for now, blessing our hopes and dreams, and smothering our lives with love.
Let us remember, dear fellow friends. To simply live, rejoice, and be praised! There's always much to do, much to see. A world in which paradise exists, only if you can realize that it's always been within you.
Strive and seek inner peace, slay the demons, and become at ease.
Difficult I know, but that's just me.
Let us remember, dear fellow friends. To simply live, rejoice, and be praised! There's always much to do, much to see. A world in which paradise exists, only if you can realize that it's always been within you.
Strive and seek inner peace, slay the demons, and become at ease.
Difficult I know, but that's just me.
FC Info
Posted 14 years agoIt's dat time again, it's gonna be one crazy-ass con, I just know it! I don't quite have a schedule on where I'll be, and whatnot since there's always something going on. I don't quite attend the panels or whatever, (Although ADP is an exception :x ) instead, I just kick it with my gang I always thug out wit and sometimes check the dealer's den for goodies or look for some familiar faces ! I can be quite shy at first, but if you see me, feel free to give a hug! :3
During the day I may just be grubbing or whatever, and at night, mostly hitting up random room parties. :] If you see me, be sure to greet me!
I want to meet up with all you awesome peeps out there. If I know you, and want my number, note me. ;]
See you guys around !
Anyhow, add me over on twitter, it's now added onto my profile listing. Along with my MSN account.
VVVVVV
During the day I may just be grubbing or whatever, and at night, mostly hitting up random room parties. :] If you see me, be sure to greet me!
I want to meet up with all you awesome peeps out there. If I know you, and want my number, note me. ;]
See you guys around !
Anyhow, add me over on twitter, it's now added onto my profile listing. Along with my MSN account.
VVVVVV
Around
Posted 14 years agoYeah, it's late, usually I'm working at this hour, doin' some plan-o-grams or fixing up the warehouse. Sooo, I can't sleep. After fiddling with my messed up scanner, I go it to work somehow. lol Lucky you! ;P
I've drawn quite a bit since I've been gone for some time. I don't feel the rush to post them all at once, (and neither do you I bet, considering it's just boring pencil work ;P ) and some I won't even bother uploading. Although I think I have some workable arts that I'd like to see get touched with color.
I have other stuffs I'm workin' on too, although I won't say just yet...
But major problem I'm having now, is lack of time. At least for now, the holiday season is grinding to a halt and going back down to crappy hours until March is around. The life of a part-timer. :P
Anyhow, see you all around !
Ja.
I've drawn quite a bit since I've been gone for some time. I don't feel the rush to post them all at once, (and neither do you I bet, considering it's just boring pencil work ;P ) and some I won't even bother uploading. Although I think I have some workable arts that I'd like to see get touched with color.
I have other stuffs I'm workin' on too, although I won't say just yet...
But major problem I'm having now, is lack of time. At least for now, the holiday season is grinding to a halt and going back down to crappy hours until March is around. The life of a part-timer. :P
Anyhow, see you all around !
Ja.
Happy, happy!
Posted 14 years agoWishing you all a Merry Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever it is you celebrate.
I finally got the internets! Yee~
Now.. gotta attend those family gatherings and whatnot. ;o Gosshh, never a dull moment it seems. @-@
Hope to talk to a bunch of you all when I can~
I finally got the internets! Yee~
Now.. gotta attend those family gatherings and whatnot. ;o Gosshh, never a dull moment it seems. @-@
Hope to talk to a bunch of you all when I can~
Saturday
Posted 14 years agoHeya, figure ill mention a thing or two now that things are settling down.
On Saturday I shall have full access to the internet! :o
Lot of things happened but hey, at least im here and just missing you all. :c
I've been drawing and watchin Godzilla movies like a good dragon though. Perhaps I can share a bit of that when I get back ^^
Until then I hope you all are doing well, Happy Holidays to you all, and if you happen to be outta town, a Happy New Years to all as well.
My hopes and dreams are what keep me going. I hope for those who are having a troubling time follow me along this just path, and remember to have faith in simply being. And let ours souls burn with passion filled with life guide us to the stars, in which we can find our inner peace that lies within our hearts.
Until next time, peace be with you.
On Saturday I shall have full access to the internet! :o
Lot of things happened but hey, at least im here and just missing you all. :c
I've been drawing and watchin Godzilla movies like a good dragon though. Perhaps I can share a bit of that when I get back ^^
Until then I hope you all are doing well, Happy Holidays to you all, and if you happen to be outta town, a Happy New Years to all as well.
My hopes and dreams are what keep me going. I hope for those who are having a troubling time follow me along this just path, and remember to have faith in simply being. And let ours souls burn with passion filled with life guide us to the stars, in which we can find our inner peace that lies within our hearts.
Until next time, peace be with you.
Time is ticking.
Posted 14 years agoMoving to another place in three days.
May not have a land-line internet connection for awhile, or maybe I'll have one setup swiftly. I dunno. Depends on a lot of things that I don't know of yet since I just found out not too long ago. I'll have to call my cable company and see what they can do. But then again, I might be moving out again. lol
Maybe.
!
But like a lot of things in life, I like to prepare for the worst, and move several steps ahead with a plan just in case things go wrong.
This is one of them.
I'll still have my smartphone to connect with others and even comment on a thing or two here n there.
I just don't want to worry some of you guys like I had done before without realizing it. Or I don't want to confuse some of you guys and take it the wrong way either, I never want to make anyone feel ignored, or think there's a problem between you and I, and so you can see my major reason for this post in the first place. I like to handle things with lots of care and I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. :X
It all just means that I won't be on Steam, IMs, and Skype often as I want to. (As if I'm on as it is, just been quite an un-expectedly busy month! x-x)
But I'll still have access to FA, my emails, facebook, and stuff. :I
TL:DR So while I'm not disappearing completely, communications through all channels available will be a severely delayed.
Trust me. I NEED MY PORN. 8| !!!
If you got questions to ask, give a poke and send a note. I'll be sure to pay extra attention to that in the coming days.
May not have a land-line internet connection for awhile, or maybe I'll have one setup swiftly. I dunno. Depends on a lot of things that I don't know of yet since I just found out not too long ago. I'll have to call my cable company and see what they can do. But then again, I might be moving out again. lol
Maybe.
!
But like a lot of things in life, I like to prepare for the worst, and move several steps ahead with a plan just in case things go wrong.
This is one of them.
I'll still have my smartphone to connect with others and even comment on a thing or two here n there.
I just don't want to worry some of you guys like I had done before without realizing it. Or I don't want to confuse some of you guys and take it the wrong way either, I never want to make anyone feel ignored, or think there's a problem between you and I, and so you can see my major reason for this post in the first place. I like to handle things with lots of care and I'm not sure if I'm doing this right. :X
It all just means that I won't be on Steam, IMs, and Skype often as I want to. (As if I'm on as it is, just been quite an un-expectedly busy month! x-x)
But I'll still have access to FA, my emails, facebook, and stuff. :I
TL:DR So while I'm not disappearing completely, communications through all channels available will be a severely delayed.
Trust me. I NEED MY PORN. 8| !!!
If you got questions to ask, give a poke and send a note. I'll be sure to pay extra attention to that in the coming days.
Outta Time !
Posted 14 years ago10 cookies to who gets this reference. :o
Man, been busy as a mofo.
Here's what's been up if you're curious. I haven't had the chance to talk to a good handful of peeps out there. A bit drama but scroll further down for the TL:DR version if that's your thing. :P
*******************************************************************
I'll give an overall update for those who I haven't heard of in awhile or for those new watchers who are curious about me and how I go about handling problems.
I had to quit college in order to get my living situations taken care of. Although I did this a few months ago, this isn't really news but, what is new is I don't think I'll be re-enrolling next semester sadly... I'm not sure when I will be. I suppose wherever I will settle down. Man.. and I'm so freakin' close to earning an associate degree, I just need a few classes.. but, what good is a degree if I don't have a roof over my head? :|
As if work was keeping me busy, I might have to move out in January. My folks can't afford to rent this place I live in, and the money I'm adding in isn't enough. So long story short, we're gonna have to pack our bags and move else where. Which is a perfect chance to move out myself. I love them, but damn... I need my space. Although, I won't know my options until my work gets back to me on transferring. I just hope that they can hook me up, where ever it is I end up at. At this point, out-of-state isn't even out of the question.
So pretty much aside from the stresses of December, I've been hanging in there, taking it easy. I have my off days but a lot of times, I take a break from the computer otherwise I just become a bitterly bitch. :I
I don't really have much time for gaming these this time around, and with IMs I haven't had energy for that lately. I've been using whatever energy I have to spend time with my siblings. I've been ignoring them lately, and I love them, so I've been trying to chill with them too.
But if you wanna get a hold of me, there's always texting or noting me, if I trust you enough, perhaps we can exchange contact info and whatnot.
I have UMvC for the PS3 if anyone plays that, I usually play a few rounds of that.
********************************************************************
TL:DR
Been busy, moving out one way or another next year, stress is lols, love me. D8 !!
=> So what have you guys been up to? I've been missing out on a lot. :s I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I haven't been chatty lately but it's just that time of year.
Man, been busy as a mofo.
Here's what's been up if you're curious. I haven't had the chance to talk to a good handful of peeps out there. A bit drama but scroll further down for the TL:DR version if that's your thing. :P
*******************************************************************
I'll give an overall update for those who I haven't heard of in awhile or for those new watchers who are curious about me and how I go about handling problems.
I had to quit college in order to get my living situations taken care of. Although I did this a few months ago, this isn't really news but, what is new is I don't think I'll be re-enrolling next semester sadly... I'm not sure when I will be. I suppose wherever I will settle down. Man.. and I'm so freakin' close to earning an associate degree, I just need a few classes.. but, what good is a degree if I don't have a roof over my head? :|
As if work was keeping me busy, I might have to move out in January. My folks can't afford to rent this place I live in, and the money I'm adding in isn't enough. So long story short, we're gonna have to pack our bags and move else where. Which is a perfect chance to move out myself. I love them, but damn... I need my space. Although, I won't know my options until my work gets back to me on transferring. I just hope that they can hook me up, where ever it is I end up at. At this point, out-of-state isn't even out of the question.
So pretty much aside from the stresses of December, I've been hanging in there, taking it easy. I have my off days but a lot of times, I take a break from the computer otherwise I just become a bitterly bitch. :I
I don't really have much time for gaming these this time around, and with IMs I haven't had energy for that lately. I've been using whatever energy I have to spend time with my siblings. I've been ignoring them lately, and I love them, so I've been trying to chill with them too.
But if you wanna get a hold of me, there's always texting or noting me, if I trust you enough, perhaps we can exchange contact info and whatnot.
I have UMvC for the PS3 if anyone plays that, I usually play a few rounds of that.
********************************************************************
TL:DR
Been busy, moving out one way or another next year, stress is lols, love me. D8 !!
=> So what have you guys been up to? I've been missing out on a lot. :s I hope everyone is doing well. Sorry I haven't been chatty lately but it's just that time of year.
