So, I hadn't been on in a long while and I would like to direct you all to my new FA: Kamoto - I am sorry for the long absence but I had to poof for a long while due to some very problematic people causing me quite a lot of mental distress ontop of already dealing with a lot of stress and mental issues to begin with. I recently made Kamoto as a new start and want to try slowly building myself back up both socially and mentally.

I do also plan to start working on the Kiruta again IF I feel there's enough people interested in them, I admit that I like seeing people make their own Kirutas and actually using them as a sona. It's a shame to see them never be used so after shelving the species for.... 4 years? I might decide to try to remake them and give it another go. If you're new here, I originally made the species back in November of 2017 and they were, primarily, lagomorph in appearance with having a reptilian alternative and a caprid alternative. If I were to do this again, I will probably swap out the Caprid for Avian to fit the overall theme of the Kiruta better since the Kiruta are well.. not really bunnies, they're more reptilian than mammal so I can have the Avian Kiruta be the oldest of the three with the Reptilian being in the middle and the Lagomorph being the youngest.

So, I moved to FN, if anyone has a FN account, feel free to follow me. owo;

https://furrynetwork.com/arithekiruta/

My friend gifted Shadowbringers to me recently and, to be honest, I think I may start over from scratch on FF14, since I am lost as all hell on my main due to not playing since Stormblood's release. >w>;

Furs complaining about/starting shit about furs in their 30's like.. most furs I met, that are over their 30's, are really nice, friendly and fun to be around, I actually see more furs in the 20's being bitter and hateful than furs in their 30's. lol
It's a tad annoying, to be honest. >w>;;

My mate's 32 years old and he's the sweetest and most loving fur I met. o3o;

I don't understand it, like.. did they meet a fur in their 30's that was a bitter, hateful sack of anger and just assumed all 30+ year old furries acted that way or no? >w>;

And, honestly, I'm still not sick of being a fur. I do think the fur community can be toxic at times, but most furs I've met are really friendly and nice. When I first became a fur, I went by as Nikki the Cat, a transfemale. At the time, I was certain I felt like a female, but now, these days, I feel more.. non-binary...I guess?

Fast forward 2 years, I went by as Yevren the Cat, but, this time, my sona was a herm.. several months later, I'd keep switching back and forth between fox, and bunny... then a year later, I went with being a fox for a while. then an otter, bunny-otter, goat, dragon, deer..etc... basically, I could never stick with one sona, and still struggle with sticking to my current one. I've always gotten bored of a sona and went on to be a different species... then eventually go back.. The most consistent one is bunny.

Going back to when I first became a fur, I was.. kinda your stereotypical furry, dramatic, overly horny.. etc. I mean, admittedly, I'm still a horndog but not as much of one. lol I became a fur when I was 10-ish. I didn't start drawing until I was 16, and I mainly stuck to just doodling whatever at school.. from just silly stuff of my sona, to.. crude drawings of dicks. lol I met Pyro ( Butlerdog13 ) around when I was 16 or 17, I eventually asked him for help on drawing, and he's probably one of the main reasons why I was able to improve. A year or two later, I met my ex, I'll call him Ori, He was my first legitimate mate for nearly a year, but.. he caused a lot of drama for me, Pyro and a few of my other friends so I had to break up with him as I didn't need that kind of toxicity in my life. A year later, I finally moved out of my abusive family's place to live with Taz, and, my god, it was the worst 2 and a half years of my life without my family. Taz was just...using me for sex, his friends would constantly harass me and treat me like shit to the point where I feared for my safety, only two of Taz's friends actually treated me like a human being.. I worked at McDonald's for 2 months, got fired over bullshit, and Taz's mum would constantly threaten to kick me out of I didn't get a job, which I was trying my damn best to find a job.. I got kicked out in May of 2016.. and a lady saved me, I, shamefully, moved back into my parents' place afterwards and faced 2 more years of abuse from my father, I met Kitsy ( Kitsy27 ) not long after I was forced to move back to my parents' place, and Kitsy, later, became my mate, which.. to this day, he still is my mate, and I am happy for it. About a year later, my dad threatened to kick me out over yardwork I couldn't do by myself, and two of my friends came to pick me up and dropped me off at Kitsy's place, which I still happily live here with him. Half a year goes by, and Kitsy and I meet Kira ( Riokyn_The_Mouse ) and he was our mate for a while, he helped us out a ton and got us through a lot. Kira remains our friend and hopefully will still remain that way for as long as we live.

Sorry for the long journal, this is basically just to recall my history.

The fur fandom, honestly, impacted my life in a major way, and, to be honest, if I wasn't a fur I wouldn't have met Kitsy, Pyro or anyone else I would most likely be dead right now. I know I may have missed some details, but then this journal would be much longer.. >w>;;

My mate and I both missed my sona being a bun Kiruta so.. here I am. >w>;

Soooo, since FA is still too outdated to let people change their usernames, I moved to  FriskySpaceLizard sorry for the inconvenience, it's annoying to me as well. lol

You know, I always wanted to make a manga/comic series, but I lack a lot of things.. When I was a teenager, I wanted to make a manga based on the events after Everquest II, because, since Everquest II will probably never receive a sequel but I never went through with it because I didn't have that good of an ability to draw, nor am I good with writing.. However, the furs who have read about the species I made said they were done well, but had flaws.

I DO want to still try making that manga series one day, but I dunno when and If I will. I want to learn how to draw better
and I want to get better at writing before I do such a time-consuming thing.

Before I actually do something like this, I still plan to start from the beginning on drawing and work my way back up since I want to gain my passion and love for drawing back.

Apparently, FA is becoming less strict with cub porn, but I see nothing about it, and what evidence that was shown shows.. barely anything.
Some people are leaving FA because of this and I am like "But.. there's barely any evidence." Like, yes, blindly follow some jackass trying to start drama

And even then, screenshots can be tampered with, so if they want to show actual evidence, they should give a link

Sooo, I am generally a very shy and timid person, which is one of the reasons I hadn't spread out my species very far.. and, like, I want to befriend other floofs/scalies and other artists but too shy to. owo;;

I also have low self-confidence, so yeah. xwx

When I worked at McDonald's, one of the customers I served looked like Bob Ross, but angry and Russian. He ordered 1 thing of breakfast biscuits and came back 30 seconds later saying he ordered 2 things of breakfast biscuits. When I was trying to tell him that he didn't. 2 minutes of just trying to tell him he probably forgot to order 2 things of biscuits, he yelled "I want to see the manager" and the manager had to do his second order, then he threw insults towards me and also said "I hope this place closes down one day." I was like "Damn, dude, if you get that pissy over food, maybe you should see a therapist or something."

Basically, instead of just going straight into telling me his second order, he just blames me for his forgetfulness and complains about not getting said order. >w>;;

Sorry that I hadn't posted all that much, just don't really have the motivation to draw these days, Like.. I lost my motivation to draw years ago thanks to a former friend so I've been kinda...slowing down more and more on drawing. xwx

Like, I used to draw dozens of drawings a day when I was in high school, but now I may draw like.. 1 or 2 things a month. It sucks because I feel like I am letting both of my mates down and it feels like I am letting you guys down. I wish I could gain back that motivation/drive.

I feel bad when people confuse/compare the Kirutas (my species) with the Avalis. I get it, they look a bit alike. lol It wasn't my intention to make them look similar.. just makes me feel like I wasn't good enough to make a unique species.

This is more of just how I feel when someone compares my main sona's species to a Starbound species.. owo;;

I know it's not their intention to make me feel bad about it, but still it's really rude.. owo;

So, I've heard that EQ3 is being made again, and.. may or may not include a battle royale, which I hope it doesn't because that would completely kill the already dying EQ series. I mean, hell, Everquest Next's failure almost completely killed off the EQ series, so a Battle Royale Everquest would definitely kill the series off completely.

EQ fans don't want a Fortnite/PUBG rip off, we just want an EQ that is a mix of all the good things about the EQ series.

Wanna see my cringy days, or wanna see me upload SFW stuff more often?

I may decide to use it as reason to get me to draw SFW stuff. x3

https://www.deviantart.com/yevren

Been struggling to work on drawing and even struggling with coming up with ideas for some art soo, I think I'll take a break from drawing for a while, I've had little to no motivation on drawing for almost a year and.. I feel burnt out, I suppose, so sorry if I don't draw for a few weeks or months. owo;

So, since I want to remove anything that reminds me of my family and "friends", letting go of my past basically, I... also want to change my birthday since it just reminds me of my shitty family and Taz.. and I figured I could change it to the day I was supposed to be born, which is December 22nd. I was born in August. *bleps* I know it's stupid but eh, I just don't want to be reminded of my family or anything negative since I want to focus on the positive things in my life like my mates and you guys. owo;
Also, Taz was this guy, who was my ex, that was about as abusive as my father and my brothers. He'd insult me and yell at me often. =w=;
Clean slate, new life stuffs, you know? o3o

I spent the majority of my life in misery, so.. I just want to spend the rest of it as a happy little floof.

I got a new tablet thanks to a good friend of mine, who is named Riokyn on my server, it should be arriving around Christmas time. owo

I appreciate his help a lot. x3

I will say that it will take me a while to get back to where I was (art-wise) since I would have to get used to using a new tablet, so if anything looks off or weird, sorry. owo;

Due to how I was treated all my life, even small accidents can make me have a mental breakdown because I always fear that I'll make everyone mad and they'll yell at me or throw insults towards me, like, when I was out with my mate last week I accidentally knocked over a drink at Whataburger and my anxiety shot up instantly nearly causing me to breakdown into tears because of that fear. I know my mate wasn't mad at me but I was just so scared that he and everyone around me would insult/yell at me.

Good job, Tumblr, you killed off the ONLY thing that as keeping you running. Basically, as most probably know, Tumblr banned NSFW stuff and I bet it was only because they got removed from Apple's App Store..

Do they realize how majorly they fucked up doing this? lol

Since Thanksgiving (my least favourite holiday) and Christmas are around the corner, Kitsy's mum has been pushing REALLY hard to make me go spend time with my shitty family for the past couple months.. Although, recently, Kitsy said that his mum just realized that she "may" have been too harsh on me.. so hopefully she'll stop pushing to get me to see my shitty family.

Like,I can tolerate my dad on Christmas, but that's it. I don't want to see my family on Thanksgiving or any other holiday. Hell, I don't even want to see them on Christmas, but if it pleases his mum, I will

I've been having these nightmares from years, it ranges from just my dad insulting me to.. one or more of my family members literally trying to murder me like this one:

"My brother was trying to kill me and I was running away from him as fast as I could, trying to get someone to help me but no one believed me and his laughter would grow more and more maniacal because of it."

I wish I would quit having these nightmares, it always brings down my mood.

I also have nightmares involving the time I was in Texas of Taz and his friends treating me like shit as well. Pretty much the same kind of shit.

Sooo, I re-designed my sona to look more.. deity-like, I suppose, it was due to a song I was listening to and this was the result:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28466346/ (ref)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28255371/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28291846/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/28371437/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/29144537/

The sad part about looking for a new MMO to play is that.. the majority of MMOs are either WoW clones or Pay-To-Win bullshit.. I enjoyed Maplestory 2 but the constant disconnecting has really, REALLY put me off. I just don't want to play it anymore due to it.

Like, I love Everquest II, but I.. can barely keep my attention on it for very long now. I've been playing on the Progression server but I can't seem to get into it anymore which sucks because that was 2 months of sub-fee'd playing. =w=;

Project Gorgon is still one MMO I am interested in, but it's $40 on Steam and I don't want to pay $40 for a MMO that is not even out of their beta stage.

Like, to a degree, I understand why free-to-play MMOs are pay-to-win.. but it just makes people think "Why did they make it free to play in the first place if you have to pay to even get any enjoyment out of the game?"

Also, don't bother recommending me MMOs, there's a VERY high chance I've played them and dislike them unless you REALLY think I haven't played the MMO you're going to recommend.

I was watching a video of a girl talking about her narc aunt, and I do think my father fits the "Narcissistic" personality a bit because he ALWAYS tries to one-up you no matter the situation, and would also try to manipulate you as well.. He would also slap me and throw me around whenever he's mad at me (over stupid shit) and he tried to convince my boyfriend's mum to think I was in the wrong and not him. Telling her how much of a drug addict I am (when I am not a drug addict), how I steal things (I do not steal things) and how lethargic I am.. (I have depression, I struggle greatly having any motivation or will to do anything)

My father also always made fun of me, practically bullying me, whenever I address an issue I am having, and then.. when I point out what he's doing is wrong, he plays the victim, trying to get anyone near him to side with him and treat me like shit.

And then there's his stories, he always tells stories about how much of a "great" person he is. Like he would exaggerate the stories to such an extreme to make him look like a good person, when in reality, he's a horrible person. He's always treated me and my mum like shit.