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Advisory to Phobic Types with Fragile Masculinity... ;p
Posted 3 years ago...probably read somebody's profile all the way through before reaching out in the first place.
Also, probably swallow a few spoonfuls of concrete & harden the hell up about the fact that someone has a gender fluid element to them, especially when they specify that they aren't going to expose you to that aspect of yourself otherwise & only addressed it in the first place due to being asked what types of TFs one enjoys.
Wait...
One more note...
...Oh right, have the balls to actually say you're no longer interested in conversing/getting to know each other after that particular shoe drops, rather than just going dead silent or just outright ghosting.
Wait, actually, maybe also label yourself with a "Fragile" sticker or two as well.
Thank you & that is all.
(chuckles)
Also, probably swallow a few spoonfuls of concrete & harden the hell up about the fact that someone has a gender fluid element to them, especially when they specify that they aren't going to expose you to that aspect of yourself otherwise & only addressed it in the first place due to being asked what types of TFs one enjoys.
Wait...
One more note...
...Oh right, have the balls to actually say you're no longer interested in conversing/getting to know each other after that particular shoe drops, rather than just going dead silent or just outright ghosting.
Wait, actually, maybe also label yourself with a "Fragile" sticker or two as well.
Thank you & that is all.
(chuckles)
Happy Spoopy Month
Posted 4 years agoSpooky season's greetings... ;)
It's been a while since I last wrote anything. Just a lot has been happening that I didn't want to get into here.
While some things are still in a rough spot, I am at least in a stable place when compared to just a year ago,
and there are actually some good promising things on the horizon, which is nice to feel.
I actually feel kind of hopeful again, and I feel some spark of enjoyment in things I once used to enjoy.
It's been a while since I've felt that. It makes me elated to experience that once more.
I hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to do something more with my page in the near future.
Everybody, keep pushing forward & also making awesome content.
It's been a while since I last wrote anything. Just a lot has been happening that I didn't want to get into here.
While some things are still in a rough spot, I am at least in a stable place when compared to just a year ago,
and there are actually some good promising things on the horizon, which is nice to feel.
I actually feel kind of hopeful again, and I feel some spark of enjoyment in things I once used to enjoy.
It's been a while since I've felt that. It makes me elated to experience that once more.
I hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to do something more with my page in the near future.
Everybody, keep pushing forward & also making awesome content.
Learning to Let Go When Something Won't Let You
Posted 4 years agoI'm in some kind of bittersweet sentimental mood and just need to get something off of my chest.
There is something I have been wrestling with for a long time now, and it has been at a fever pitch for a while now. In fact, maybe the strongest it has been ever in my life.
It's the struggle of learning how to let go & move on. Now, so I am not being so vague about, I'm not talking about people or companions who have passed on and are no longer with us here. I am talking about the strong connections that you had, or you thought you had, with others who are still here... but in a way, it's like you don't even exist or hold any interest to them anymore... but you still do. You wonder what changed, what severed the connection to where it was only one way. You even wonder if perhaps it was one-sided the whole time & you were diluting yourself that there was some strong connection there. But you know what you remember feeling with them, and you can still feel it... and you hurt because you know it is no longer reciprocated, because you have tried to re-connect but there's just nothing there. They never even ask you how you are doing in return, or really wish you a good day, nor do they even seem all that happy or interested in talking to you.
So you give up on trying & do your best to sever ties by deleting all methods of contact that you can think of. But you still remember, even when you just do your best to look forward and just ignore it. It feels like a dead dream that was very beautiful, and you can still see that beauty, but you know that all it does is make you hurt because it reminds you of something lost despite you never felt like you took it for granted. And you know that all it is going to do is bring you pain & hold you back... give ammo to the unhealthy parts of your mind. But you can't escape it. You even acknowledge that those connections did mean something once & were good at that time, but recognize the unhealthiness that now comes from it. But it still keeps coming back to you, like it doesn't want you to move on. No matter how much time has passed, it just remains ever present, wanting to hold on to you even if you want to be done with it. It's like it is addicted to you.
At that point, what do you do with that?
Because, realistically, you know you'll never get the closure or resolution you want, and you can tell that confronting those who you shared that connection with is just going to irritate them and basically make them see you as nothing but a whiny loser, which is just going to twist that dagger in even further. So, you're just left in an awkward state with this dead vibrant connection that is now unhealthy for you but it refuses to let you de-root it from yourself, or just let it live on in memory.
It's just really frustrating, particularly when you are working on not just maintaining your mental health but also improving it... and you just have these toxic inklings hanging around that refuse to go away.
Anyway, sorry for the sudden boo-hoo self-pity introspective shit. I just needed to write it out & talk about it. Here's hoping that maybe that will help with the process of moving on & letting go when something in me won't let it happen.
===========
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=and0I1AmnaY
There is something I have been wrestling with for a long time now, and it has been at a fever pitch for a while now. In fact, maybe the strongest it has been ever in my life.
It's the struggle of learning how to let go & move on. Now, so I am not being so vague about, I'm not talking about people or companions who have passed on and are no longer with us here. I am talking about the strong connections that you had, or you thought you had, with others who are still here... but in a way, it's like you don't even exist or hold any interest to them anymore... but you still do. You wonder what changed, what severed the connection to where it was only one way. You even wonder if perhaps it was one-sided the whole time & you were diluting yourself that there was some strong connection there. But you know what you remember feeling with them, and you can still feel it... and you hurt because you know it is no longer reciprocated, because you have tried to re-connect but there's just nothing there. They never even ask you how you are doing in return, or really wish you a good day, nor do they even seem all that happy or interested in talking to you.
So you give up on trying & do your best to sever ties by deleting all methods of contact that you can think of. But you still remember, even when you just do your best to look forward and just ignore it. It feels like a dead dream that was very beautiful, and you can still see that beauty, but you know that all it does is make you hurt because it reminds you of something lost despite you never felt like you took it for granted. And you know that all it is going to do is bring you pain & hold you back... give ammo to the unhealthy parts of your mind. But you can't escape it. You even acknowledge that those connections did mean something once & were good at that time, but recognize the unhealthiness that now comes from it. But it still keeps coming back to you, like it doesn't want you to move on. No matter how much time has passed, it just remains ever present, wanting to hold on to you even if you want to be done with it. It's like it is addicted to you.
At that point, what do you do with that?
Because, realistically, you know you'll never get the closure or resolution you want, and you can tell that confronting those who you shared that connection with is just going to irritate them and basically make them see you as nothing but a whiny loser, which is just going to twist that dagger in even further. So, you're just left in an awkward state with this dead vibrant connection that is now unhealthy for you but it refuses to let you de-root it from yourself, or just let it live on in memory.
It's just really frustrating, particularly when you are working on not just maintaining your mental health but also improving it... and you just have these toxic inklings hanging around that refuse to go away.
Anyway, sorry for the sudden boo-hoo self-pity introspective shit. I just needed to write it out & talk about it. Here's hoping that maybe that will help with the process of moving on & letting go when something in me won't let it happen.
===========
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=and0I1AmnaY
Runners
Posted 5 years agoA song that has been stuck in my head lately. Figured I would share it with others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=997VDxheDdM
===========
We scream and shout
We've yelled for days
Pull us out
From the grave
Full of doubt
But we're brave
We keep running
But say we're not afraid
We break the law
We misbehave
Here they come
Just get away
We have to live
Another day
But when we die
I'm sure we'll stay the same
You know that we are brothers
You know that we share the land
You know that we are like the others
And nothing makes you better
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We scream and shout
We've yelled for days
Pull us out
From the grave
Full of doubt
But we're brave
We keep running
But say we're not afraid
We break the law
We misbehave
Here they come
Just get away
We have to live
Another day
But when we die
I'm sure we'll stay the same
You know that we are brothers
You know that we share the land
You know that we are like the others
And nothing makes you better
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=997VDxheDdM
===========
We scream and shout
We've yelled for days
Pull us out
From the grave
Full of doubt
But we're brave
We keep running
But say we're not afraid
We break the law
We misbehave
Here they come
Just get away
We have to live
Another day
But when we die
I'm sure we'll stay the same
You know that we are brothers
You know that we share the land
You know that we are like the others
And nothing makes you better
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We scream and shout
We've yelled for days
Pull us out
From the grave
Full of doubt
But we're brave
We keep running
But say we're not afraid
We break the law
We misbehave
Here they come
Just get away
We have to live
Another day
But when we die
I'm sure we'll stay the same
You know that we are brothers
You know that we share the land
You know that we are like the others
And nothing makes you better
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
We are running from the world
Time To Dust Off The Page & Clean Out The Closet
Posted 5 years agoI know that for far too long this page has been completely void of any new material/content.
Hell, for a while there, I had merely just turned into the pity-worthy depressing wretch whose life seemed to have been nothing but a comedy-of-errors. Yeah, I don't really miss that (now) inbetween period that my life had become, and tired of this page being a reflection of that through previous journals. Also, while the Flowtac persona/moniker still acts as the mascot for my creative self, it hasn't been personally relevant to fully reflecting me in a decade, and due to that...
(blows away all the dust & crap)
Begone!
I am refreshed and it's time to start anew on here. Granted, some will argue that I might be doing a poor job of that, considering my new uploads as of recent are from older photography pieces that I did in-world on Second Life. Okay, I'll give you that but hear me out. When I did these pieces, I always conceived them to be art pieces and so would capture/compose them in a manner to reflect that through the limits of the medium that I had available that also acted as the inspiration. But I always wanted to do more with them, to make them into what I saw them as.
Well, now that photomanipulation technology has evolved so damn much, it has allowed me to revisit them and turn them into what I initially envisioned. Some will argue that that is still cheating and has no merits. You're entitled to that, especially if this style isn't for you. But I did put my own amount of work & creativity into the composition of these, as well as converting them into their current state, so they still feel like they have merit to me. Plus, they have re-awakened some inspiration into me. I might even use this style to make new pieces, perhaps even transformation-based sequences, as well as the occasional "poetic/poignant" piece.
God, I am such a pedantic fucker with how I handle my language. xP
Anyway, suffice to say, I am back for the moment and hope that you enjoy the new art/direction.
Hell, for a while there, I had merely just turned into the pity-worthy depressing wretch whose life seemed to have been nothing but a comedy-of-errors. Yeah, I don't really miss that (now) inbetween period that my life had become, and tired of this page being a reflection of that through previous journals. Also, while the Flowtac persona/moniker still acts as the mascot for my creative self, it hasn't been personally relevant to fully reflecting me in a decade, and due to that...
(blows away all the dust & crap)
Begone!
I am refreshed and it's time to start anew on here. Granted, some will argue that I might be doing a poor job of that, considering my new uploads as of recent are from older photography pieces that I did in-world on Second Life. Okay, I'll give you that but hear me out. When I did these pieces, I always conceived them to be art pieces and so would capture/compose them in a manner to reflect that through the limits of the medium that I had available that also acted as the inspiration. But I always wanted to do more with them, to make them into what I saw them as.
Well, now that photomanipulation technology has evolved so damn much, it has allowed me to revisit them and turn them into what I initially envisioned. Some will argue that that is still cheating and has no merits. You're entitled to that, especially if this style isn't for you. But I did put my own amount of work & creativity into the composition of these, as well as converting them into their current state, so they still feel like they have merit to me. Plus, they have re-awakened some inspiration into me. I might even use this style to make new pieces, perhaps even transformation-based sequences, as well as the occasional "poetic/poignant" piece.
God, I am such a pedantic fucker with how I handle my language. xP
Anyway, suffice to say, I am back for the moment and hope that you enjoy the new art/direction.
A Christmas Miracle Has Happened
Posted 5 years agoWell, a Christmas miracle has happened.
My claims adjuster actually decided to take pity on me & I will be getting issued a check for $1200 for my totalled minivan. It's at least a good start in the right direction, and will help immensely in securing another used vehicle, at least make for a decent down payment if nothing else.
Any help that can be provided will still be appreciated, as I will definitely be paycheck to paycheck for the next couple months, with no real wiggle room in the budget, until February (during tax refund time) so any additional help anyone wishes to provide will go towards the down payment, to ensure that any leftover monthly payments towards a used vehicle will be as low as possible.
For those who have already helped, thank you so much. :)
https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-need-h.....icle-for-work/
My claims adjuster actually decided to take pity on me & I will be getting issued a check for $1200 for my totalled minivan. It's at least a good start in the right direction, and will help immensely in securing another used vehicle, at least make for a decent down payment if nothing else.
Any help that can be provided will still be appreciated, as I will definitely be paycheck to paycheck for the next couple months, with no real wiggle room in the budget, until February (during tax refund time) so any additional help anyone wishes to provide will go towards the down payment, to ensure that any leftover monthly payments towards a used vehicle will be as low as possible.
For those who have already helped, thank you so much. :)
https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-need-h.....icle-for-work/
In Desperate Need Of Acquiring A New Vehicle, Please Help
Posted 6 years agoAs some of you already know, on November 22nd, around 9am, I was heading home from work. It was snowy & slick conditions out, so I reduced my speed to 15 under the posted limit of 65mph. Despite this, I ended up hitting a large patch of black ice that sent me into an immediate spin-out towards the southbound land on the highway. A semi-truck ended up catching the back-end up my minivan with its trailer, which tore off a section of the back's metal paneling, blew out the back windows, dented the trunk, knocked the bumper loose & tore off the taillights.
Suffice to say, the car is not legally drivable & is going to be declared totaled by the insurance company. Due to the age of the vehicle & my collision deductible being $2.5k, I am not going to be seeing any actual payout for my vehicle coming back to me so that I may put that money towards a new vehicle. Also, no, the semi-driver's insurance is not going to cover it either since neither of us are technically at fault due to the accident being covered by weather conditions.
This wouldn't be so bad if my work wasn't 50 mile commute round trip. I am currently having to resort to bumming rides to work when people have the time to provide them (which means sometimes I have to work longer shifts to help cover for shifts I have to miss when I can't schedule a ride), and I honestly cannot afford a down payment towards getting a new (used) vehicle for myself due to really only being able to afford to cover my rent & utility bills right now. I also could risk getting terminated from my job if I cannot be considered reliable to work my normally scheduled shifts at this point, and I really cannot afford to lose my job at this time either... as that will just make makes even worse.
So, here I find myself again, in need of assistance from anyone who is willing to be so kind to donate to me in a time of need so that I may afford to acquire another vehicle so that I may be able to reliably get back & forth to work & make sure I can keep my employment secure. I have made a GoFundMe campaign to which can be found at the following link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-need-h.....icle-for-work/
If you could find it in your heart to assist me at a time where I am in most need, or even share the campaign with others at the very least, it would mean the world to me & I will do my best to pay it forward to someone else in the near future as well. This is really my only hope I have at this point. Please help. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart in advance.
Suffice to say, the car is not legally drivable & is going to be declared totaled by the insurance company. Due to the age of the vehicle & my collision deductible being $2.5k, I am not going to be seeing any actual payout for my vehicle coming back to me so that I may put that money towards a new vehicle. Also, no, the semi-driver's insurance is not going to cover it either since neither of us are technically at fault due to the accident being covered by weather conditions.
This wouldn't be so bad if my work wasn't 50 mile commute round trip. I am currently having to resort to bumming rides to work when people have the time to provide them (which means sometimes I have to work longer shifts to help cover for shifts I have to miss when I can't schedule a ride), and I honestly cannot afford a down payment towards getting a new (used) vehicle for myself due to really only being able to afford to cover my rent & utility bills right now. I also could risk getting terminated from my job if I cannot be considered reliable to work my normally scheduled shifts at this point, and I really cannot afford to lose my job at this time either... as that will just make makes even worse.
So, here I find myself again, in need of assistance from anyone who is willing to be so kind to donate to me in a time of need so that I may afford to acquire another vehicle so that I may be able to reliably get back & forth to work & make sure I can keep my employment secure. I have made a GoFundMe campaign to which can be found at the following link: https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-need-h.....icle-for-work/
If you could find it in your heart to assist me at a time where I am in most need, or even share the campaign with others at the very least, it would mean the world to me & I will do my best to pay it forward to someone else in the near future as well. This is really my only hope I have at this point. Please help. Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart in advance.
Out Of One Frying Pan & Into Another... Oh joy...! xP
Posted 6 years agoI actually was stupid enough to think that things were finally going to turn around once & for all when I had such an outpouring of support in a time of severe financial need. Shame on me for having thought that, it seems...
Back on Nov 22nd, while I was headed home from work, my minivan got sent into an immediate spinout by a patch of black ice (I was even going 15 under due to the snowy/slippery conditions) which sent me towards the southbound lane where the backend of my minivan got clipped by a passing semi-truck. I was thankfully not injured, but the damage to my minivan will more than likely declare it totalled. This wouldn't be so bad if it didn't mean having to wait around on insurance companies to resolve this & issue a check... on top of the fact that I will now need to try & make room in my budget for a car payment now too... "Exactly" what I need.
This is made harder by the fact I am making a 40-50 mile round trip commute to my work each day, so, having to bum rides when I can (it's not always guaranteed) and I already rented a rental car for as long as I could. And of course, once again, this bullshit put me behind on rent once more. Even more fun... I ended up getting hit super hardcore with the flu this weekend & it's been kicking my ass to the point I can barely get out of bed. I am hoping to be on enough mend today to be able to get a ride to work & get through a 12-hour shift to make up for the fact I missed two days of work... Ugh...
Life, I get I am a favorite of yours to come at with your pants down, but how about giving me a break for a while, please?
This is too much all at once & I cannot keep up with all of this.
Please, let enough be enough already.
Back on Nov 22nd, while I was headed home from work, my minivan got sent into an immediate spinout by a patch of black ice (I was even going 15 under due to the snowy/slippery conditions) which sent me towards the southbound lane where the backend of my minivan got clipped by a passing semi-truck. I was thankfully not injured, but the damage to my minivan will more than likely declare it totalled. This wouldn't be so bad if it didn't mean having to wait around on insurance companies to resolve this & issue a check... on top of the fact that I will now need to try & make room in my budget for a car payment now too... "Exactly" what I need.
This is made harder by the fact I am making a 40-50 mile round trip commute to my work each day, so, having to bum rides when I can (it's not always guaranteed) and I already rented a rental car for as long as I could. And of course, once again, this bullshit put me behind on rent once more. Even more fun... I ended up getting hit super hardcore with the flu this weekend & it's been kicking my ass to the point I can barely get out of bed. I am hoping to be on enough mend today to be able to get a ride to work & get through a 12-hour shift to make up for the fact I missed two days of work... Ugh...
Life, I get I am a favorite of yours to come at with your pants down, but how about giving me a break for a while, please?
This is too much all at once & I cannot keep up with all of this.
Please, let enough be enough already.
I Have Been Saved! Crisis Averted!!
Posted 6 years agoI won't say who, as they wish to remain anonymous, but a very old friend from my past helped me out in an extremely big way in my time of need, providing more than enough to make sure I did not end up in the worst case scenario that things were going as of until yesterday evening. I don't know how to thank you other than to say it. It really meant the world to me... Thank you so much!
I Am On The Verge Of Being Homeless... Please Send Help
Posted 6 years agoI really fucking hate that I have to make a post like this, especially after what I went through this summer which lead to me needing to open a GoFundMe & I still lost that apartment anyway because the landlords just didn't want to wait on me to get caught up so they dissolved my lease, leading to me having to scramble to find a new apartment... But here we are again...
I am on the verge of losing my apartment and becoming homeless. I already knew that I would be late this month, due to circumstances last month really screwing me over financially. It was arranged that I would pay rent with late fees by the 16th. However, more bullshit popped up at the start of this month that really put things in a place of total uncertainty. First, my gym membership that was supposed to be placed on a freeze/hold again wasn't & ended up dicking me out a lot of money (on top of overdraft fees from several attempts on their parts to collect to the point I could not go in to work one day because I didn't have gas money anymore & my tank was near empty
) and then apparently there was an old payday loan that I forgot about from back in 2015, around the time of my accident, that has come back to bite me in the butt to where I need to spend the next few months paying off that remaining balance or get sued by them. On top of that, I had to renew my license tags/registration or risk getting pulled over and getting in trouble for all of that.
It put me in a spot to where even with this Saturday's paycheck, I will not have enough to pay for the late rent. At this point, I have sold off the rest of anything I have of value on eBay, with nothing left to give away, and it's still not enough. I need to pay $950 in total and at this point, I am still about $250-300 short.
I fucking hate this. I have been working so hard to rebuild my life and it just feels like I keep getting fucked repeatedly over & over again, no matter what I do. I can't stand it. Even when I sacrifice everything I possibly can, it's like it does no damn good.
I just don't know what to do anymore...
I feel like I am out of options.
If there is any way you could help me out at all, it would mean the world to me. My PayPal is jaywolf1985@hotmail.com, so if you can spare anything at all, I will be forever in your gratitude. Thank you.
I am on the verge of losing my apartment and becoming homeless. I already knew that I would be late this month, due to circumstances last month really screwing me over financially. It was arranged that I would pay rent with late fees by the 16th. However, more bullshit popped up at the start of this month that really put things in a place of total uncertainty. First, my gym membership that was supposed to be placed on a freeze/hold again wasn't & ended up dicking me out a lot of money (on top of overdraft fees from several attempts on their parts to collect to the point I could not go in to work one day because I didn't have gas money anymore & my tank was near empty
) and then apparently there was an old payday loan that I forgot about from back in 2015, around the time of my accident, that has come back to bite me in the butt to where I need to spend the next few months paying off that remaining balance or get sued by them. On top of that, I had to renew my license tags/registration or risk getting pulled over and getting in trouble for all of that.
It put me in a spot to where even with this Saturday's paycheck, I will not have enough to pay for the late rent. At this point, I have sold off the rest of anything I have of value on eBay, with nothing left to give away, and it's still not enough. I need to pay $950 in total and at this point, I am still about $250-300 short.
I fucking hate this. I have been working so hard to rebuild my life and it just feels like I keep getting fucked repeatedly over & over again, no matter what I do. I can't stand it. Even when I sacrifice everything I possibly can, it's like it does no damn good.
I just don't know what to do anymore...
I feel like I am out of options.
If there is any way you could help me out at all, it would mean the world to me. My PayPal is jaywolf1985@hotmail.com, so if you can spare anything at all, I will be forever in your gratitude. Thank you.
Well, I Seem To Have A Knack For Things Going Tits Up...
Posted 6 years agoSo, just when things were getting better & I was getting back on my feet, life decides it's given me enough of a rest so that it can give me the four-way gang-rape from all sides again.
Just this month already, I have had the following happen:
1.) A windshield replacement due to a tire tread crashing through it.
2.) A bad brakeline on my car that needed to be fixed.
3.) Suffering a concussion at work that has put my out of commission for a couple of weeks.
4.) An issue with the DMV wrongfully attempting to revoke my license over an "unpaid" traffic ticket that I did pay. (The county never cashed it, so it was probably lost in the mail.)
And of course, this all cut into my rent money, and attempts to get caught back up, which kind of leaves me helpless & stranded.
So, yeah, now I am having to resort to e-begging, because I am just not in a place where I can dig myself out of the current hole on my own.
I ended up having to make a GoFundMe, so, if any of you would be so kind to give it a look over, share it around, spread the word, maybe possibly
donate just a little bit, it would mean the world to me, especially since I would prefer to avoid an eviction notice while I am still in recovery from my
head injury.
The link will be listed below.
Thank you all in advance.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-had-a-.....eaKdkwIwxLgBHSSzBIWvOqPxQ9G4b5us9_djySAg
Just this month already, I have had the following happen:
1.) A windshield replacement due to a tire tread crashing through it.
2.) A bad brakeline on my car that needed to be fixed.
3.) Suffering a concussion at work that has put my out of commission for a couple of weeks.
4.) An issue with the DMV wrongfully attempting to revoke my license over an "unpaid" traffic ticket that I did pay. (The county never cashed it, so it was probably lost in the mail.)
And of course, this all cut into my rent money, and attempts to get caught back up, which kind of leaves me helpless & stranded.
So, yeah, now I am having to resort to e-begging, because I am just not in a place where I can dig myself out of the current hole on my own.
I ended up having to make a GoFundMe, so, if any of you would be so kind to give it a look over, share it around, spread the word, maybe possibly
donate just a little bit, it would mean the world to me, especially since I would prefer to avoid an eviction notice while I am still in recovery from my
head injury.
The link will be listed below.
Thank you all in advance.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/i-had-a-.....eaKdkwIwxLgBHS
So, I'm a TG Switch
Posted 12 years agoAs the header of this journal states, yeah...
I recently came to discover I am transgender & have a female side to myself.
Not just that, but my gender flip flops a lot, and the experience is always very intense.
Essentially when I go into being woman, the only thing that doesn't change is my physical appearance, but it might as well. Hormonally, emotionally, mentally, behaviorally, etc, I am pretty much indistinguishable from a female, and this just happens naturally. There are no hormone pills or anything involved.
WARNING: This paragraph contains some explicit details about the experience.
Hell, I know what a period/menstruation feels like. The only thing lacking there is the actual menstrual blood, but everything else is verbatim. My male anatomy does not behave as such either. When I go woman, it essentially shrinks down & shrivels up as much as it possibly can & will essentially just behave like a clitoris. Even my smell down there will smell just like a woman's, and yes, I have verified this. Also, I still like guys but the way I see & view them is totally different when I am a woman, and what turns me on as a guy does not as a woman.
END WARNING
Now, my core self is still the same, just a different gender when my gender shifts.
Does any of this mean I am planning to get a sex change?
Definitely not. Honestly, I enjoy being able to switch back & forth. I just wish I could also change the physical appearance too because since the experience is so intense, it would be so much easier to appear as how one feels. But oh well. Such is life. But basically when I feel like a man, I'll be one. When I feel like a woman, I will be one. Simple as that. If you can't handle this, I apologize if it bothers you but you don't have to stick around. I have to be myself & be honest with myself. That's what I choose to do, is to embrace myself rather than hide it. So yeah.
I recently came to discover I am transgender & have a female side to myself.
Not just that, but my gender flip flops a lot, and the experience is always very intense.
Essentially when I go into being woman, the only thing that doesn't change is my physical appearance, but it might as well. Hormonally, emotionally, mentally, behaviorally, etc, I am pretty much indistinguishable from a female, and this just happens naturally. There are no hormone pills or anything involved.
WARNING: This paragraph contains some explicit details about the experience.
Hell, I know what a period/menstruation feels like. The only thing lacking there is the actual menstrual blood, but everything else is verbatim. My male anatomy does not behave as such either. When I go woman, it essentially shrinks down & shrivels up as much as it possibly can & will essentially just behave like a clitoris. Even my smell down there will smell just like a woman's, and yes, I have verified this. Also, I still like guys but the way I see & view them is totally different when I am a woman, and what turns me on as a guy does not as a woman.
END WARNING
Now, my core self is still the same, just a different gender when my gender shifts.
Does any of this mean I am planning to get a sex change?
Definitely not. Honestly, I enjoy being able to switch back & forth. I just wish I could also change the physical appearance too because since the experience is so intense, it would be so much easier to appear as how one feels. But oh well. Such is life. But basically when I feel like a man, I'll be one. When I feel like a woman, I will be one. Simple as that. If you can't handle this, I apologize if it bothers you but you don't have to stick around. I have to be myself & be honest with myself. That's what I choose to do, is to embrace myself rather than hide it. So yeah.
Pay It Forward for the Ego Boost Meme!
Posted 15 years agoOk, I am doing another meme like this, taken from 
Scautty
So here it goes!
1. Something random about you
2. What color you remind me of
3. My first memory of you
4. What animal you remind me of
5. Ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
6. My favorite thing about you
7. What song reminds me of you
8. To post this on your journal
ScauttySo here it goes!
1. Something random about you
2. What color you remind me of
3. My first memory of you
4. What animal you remind me of
5. Ask you something I've always wanted to ask you
6. My favorite thing about you
7. What song reminds me of you
8. To post this on your journal
I've been tagged ;_; - ALIGNMENT SURVEY
Posted 15 years agoOk, so thanks to that devious kitty friend of mine, 
TimidTabby, I got tagged to do this survey.
So here it goes...
Alignment Survey?
1)Do you keep your word?
[ ]Always(+2 P)
[X]Yes, but to any other good person.(+2 S)
[ ]I would keep my word of honor.(+1 Up)
[ ]Sure, if it suits or pleases me. (+2 A)
[ ]Yeah, I'd keep my word of honor...but only to someone who deserves it. (+2 Ab)
[ ]Not necessarily (+1 M)
[ ]Rarely. I have no sense of honor. (+1 D)
2)Do you ever lie or cheat?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[ ]Yes, but only to shady characters.(+1 S)
[x]If it's necessary, especially around shady characters.(+1 Up)
[ ]If it's necessary.(+1 A)
[ ]If I have no respect to the person, then yes.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Of course I do, but I do it to everyone equally.(+1 M)
[ ]Oh yeah! >:3(+1 D)
3)Would you ever kill or attack an unarmed foe?
[ ]Never!(+1 P,S)
[ ]I'd never kill them. But I'd certainly make the most out of it!(+1 Up)
[ ]Not likely to kill them, but I'd certainly knock out, attack, or beat up one.(+1 A)
[x]Maybe, maybe not.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Of course. He could be a major rival or a threat in the future.(+1 M)
[ ]Oh hell yeah! >:3(+1 D)
4)Would you ever harm the innocent?
[x]Never!(+1 P,S,Up)
[ ]Never, though accidents happen.(+1 A)
[ ]Never, especially children. It won't stop me, though, from harming, harassing, or kidnapping them.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I'd use or harm an innocent. So what?(+1 M)
[ ]Of course I would. I'd kill them, even, and I'd love it, too! MUAHAHAHAH!(+1 D)
5)Would you ever torture for any reason?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[x]No, but I would use muscle to extract it from shady characters.(+1 S)
[ ]Only when absolutely necessary. (+1 Up)
[ ]Yeah, but I wouldn't like it. It's just for information.(+1 A)
[ ]Sure, but I wouldn't like it. I just want to use them as an example to others, or just for extracting information. (+1 Ab)
[ ]Oh yeah! And I'd enjoy it too! Oh, but I would also do it for information, of course.(+1 M)
[ ]All the time. I enjoy every moment of it. But information is nice, too, I guess.(+1 D)
6)Do you kill for pleasure?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[ ]Never. In fact, I would always try to bring back a bad guy alive and to justice, no matter how vile they are.(+1 S)
[x]Never. In fact, I would rather bring back a bad guy alive and to justice or at least ruin them.(+1 Up)
[ ]Seldomly(+1 A)
[ ]I have my reasons for killing, but not for pleasure.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I may kill for the sheer pleasure of it, at times.(+1 M)
[ ]Slaughter them all! >:3(+1 D)
7)Do you help others?
[ ]Always!(+1 P)
[x]I do my best.(+1 S)
[ ]Whoever's in need.(+1 Up)
[ ]Maybe, but especially if I get paid for it.(+1 A)
[ ]Maybe, Maybe not.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Only if I got rewarded to do it.(+1 M)
[ ]If I felt like it. But I'd also do it to win them over for one of my plans! >:3 Muahahahah!(+1 D)
8)Do you work within the law whenever possible?
[ ]Always!(+1 P)
[x]Whenever possible.(+1 S)
[ ]Rarely(+1 Up,Ab,D)
[ ]Rarely, unless I needed got out of it.(+1 A)
[ ]If I absolutely have to, then yes. But otherwise, no.(+1 M)
9)At the same time, would you ever break the law?
[x]Never unless absolutely necessary(+1 P)
[ ]I'll sometimes go against the book when it's necessary. But only when it comes to bad guys.(+1 S)
[ ]Obviously yes, but it's all for a good purpose.(+1 Up)
[ ]All the time. I'll do anything to get what I want.(+1 A)
[ ]I don't even need to think about it.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Isn't it obvious? I won't let anything stand in my way.(+1 M)
[ ]Isn't it obvious? Authority is so overrated.(+1 D)
10)Do you have any respect for authority, law, self-discipline and honor?
[ ]Yes.(+1 P)
[x]I don't trust authority. The law and government probably isn't the best thing for fighting crime. But it's the best thing we've got.(+1 S)
[ ]I don't trust or like authority, the law or bureaucracy. It's all been corrupted and abused.(+1 Up)
[ ]I have little respect for law, authority or self-discipline.(+1 A)
[ ]The law? Bureaucracy? What a bunch of useless garbage. Honor, self-discipline, and the concept of laws and order, though...now that's something I have great respect for.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I don't trust or like authority and the law.(+1 M)
[ ]Honor, self-discipline, and authority are the instruments of weaklings!(+1 D)
11)Do you work well in a group?
[x]Yep!(+1 P)
[ ]Sure, but I hate politics and rules that hold me down.(+1 S)
[ ]Sure. Especially when it's all about me, pays wells, and/or I get something out of it(+1 Up)
[ ]I don't like to be bound to groups, no matter what they tell me. I like to come & go as I please.(+1 A)
[ ]I'll work with others to achieve my goals.(+1 Ab)
[ ]If I know for a fact that it'll help me in the long run, then I'll do it.(+1 M)
[ ]Never! I don't take orders from anyone. In fact, I'm the one who calls the shots!(+1 D)
12)If someone offered you "dirty" money, or ill-gotten valuables or goods, would you take it?
[ ]Never! Not even something that belonged to a crook.(+1 P)
[ ]I'll never take dirty money. (+1 S)
[ ]Yep! I'll take dirty money.(+1 Up)
[ ]Do you even have to ask me? Of course, I'd take dirty money.(+1 A)
[x]Sure, I'd take dirty money. but there are times that I just can't take it for my own reasons.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I'll take dirty money, stolen good, and illegal items. In fact, I'll steal stuff for myself whenever the chance arises.(+1 M)
[ ]Always have, always will. I'll steal too.(+1 D)
13)Would you ever betray a friend?
[x]Never!(+1 P,S,Up)
[ ]Absolutely not! How could you ever ask me a thing like that?!(+1 Ab)
[ ]Possibly. Sorry, pal.(+1 A)
[ ]If it served my needs...(+1 M)
[ ]They're just friends. I can always find more friends!(+1 D)
14)Do you have a high regard for life and freedom?
[x]Yes(+1 Up)
[ ]No
15) Do you have any concern for the lives and welfare of others
[x]Yes
[ ]No(+1 M)
16) Do you like hanging out with the wrong crowd?
[]Yes(+1 D)
[x]No
Total Score:
P: 4/14
S: 8/14
Up: 6/14
A: 1/14
Ab: 2/14
M: 0/14
D: 0/14
Depending on whatever you got the most points in, you could be the following:
(P)Principled: The do-gooder, the knight in shining armor, the boy scout. Compassionate, merciful, cooperative, and sincere, you always put others before yourself. You'll always work with and by the law, have a high regard for authority, life and freedom.
(S)Scrupulous: The vigilante, the renegade cop, the hero of the common people. You are not a vicious or vindictive character, but rather one who works around the standard laws in the means of justice, retribution, or for the greater good of all. You're driven to do what is right and take a stand what you yourself consider wrong, not by what anyone else dictates. Still, you'll try to work within the law whenever possible.
(Up)Unprincipled: The honorable thief, the mercenary with morals, the dude looking for the best deal, even if it comes from good or bad people. While selfish and greedy, you're not a total scumbag. You hate dealing with the worst kinds of people, whether good or bad, and live by a code of honor in which you'll do what's necessary to fight evil in your own unique way.
(A)Anarchist: The Con-Artist, the gambler, the uncommitted freebooter. You don't care for any real cause, whether good or bad. You're not malicious at all; instead, you're just looking out for number one. As long as you get something out of it, you'll do whatever anyone asks you to do, no matter how dirty.
(Ab)Aberrant: The chivalrous death knight, the extreme anti-hero, the business-like devil who makes deals in exchange for souls. You attain your goals through, force, intimidation, and power. How you do this, however, is by a personal code of honor you, yourself, achieve. It isn't something anyone has to understand, but you will never break this code. Ever. You may or may not perceive yourself as one who is evil or with evil intentions. But you can't deny that your actions do seem to stir up trouble.
(M)Miscreant: The common criminal, the amoral minion, the cruel mercenary. You are only out for yourself--money, power, glory, wealth--and you will do anything to attain it. You will lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get what you want. Your ambition knows no bounds. People may not like you very much, but what does it matter? You'll be sitting high on top real soon!
(D)Diabolical: The deranged psychopath, the megalomaniac, the salt of the earth. You. Are. Scum. And you're damn proud of it, too! You're a cruel, brutal killer who trusts no one and cares for no one but yourself. You always get what you want, and you will crush anyone who gets in your way. Anyone who is smaller than you, you'll blow them away like castles of sand. You're so despicable, that even Aberrant characters will avoid you. Still, you can't help it. You just love being a monster!
So, I am apparently the renegade hero type.
Ok, I'll accept that.
Now as for who to tag next for this...
Hmmmmmmm...
...Aha!
I know just the people for it!!
Jagrrr
Lexington_E_Greywinds
Lance_Foxx
Have fun guys...! ;-p
TimidTabby, I got tagged to do this survey.So here it goes...
Alignment Survey?
1)Do you keep your word?
[ ]Always(+2 P)
[X]Yes, but to any other good person.(+2 S)
[ ]I would keep my word of honor.(+1 Up)
[ ]Sure, if it suits or pleases me. (+2 A)
[ ]Yeah, I'd keep my word of honor...but only to someone who deserves it. (+2 Ab)
[ ]Not necessarily (+1 M)
[ ]Rarely. I have no sense of honor. (+1 D)
2)Do you ever lie or cheat?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[ ]Yes, but only to shady characters.(+1 S)
[x]If it's necessary, especially around shady characters.(+1 Up)
[ ]If it's necessary.(+1 A)
[ ]If I have no respect to the person, then yes.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Of course I do, but I do it to everyone equally.(+1 M)
[ ]Oh yeah! >:3(+1 D)
3)Would you ever kill or attack an unarmed foe?
[ ]Never!(+1 P,S)
[ ]I'd never kill them. But I'd certainly make the most out of it!(+1 Up)
[ ]Not likely to kill them, but I'd certainly knock out, attack, or beat up one.(+1 A)
[x]Maybe, maybe not.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Of course. He could be a major rival or a threat in the future.(+1 M)
[ ]Oh hell yeah! >:3(+1 D)
4)Would you ever harm the innocent?
[x]Never!(+1 P,S,Up)
[ ]Never, though accidents happen.(+1 A)
[ ]Never, especially children. It won't stop me, though, from harming, harassing, or kidnapping them.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I'd use or harm an innocent. So what?(+1 M)
[ ]Of course I would. I'd kill them, even, and I'd love it, too! MUAHAHAHAH!(+1 D)
5)Would you ever torture for any reason?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[x]No, but I would use muscle to extract it from shady characters.(+1 S)
[ ]Only when absolutely necessary. (+1 Up)
[ ]Yeah, but I wouldn't like it. It's just for information.(+1 A)
[ ]Sure, but I wouldn't like it. I just want to use them as an example to others, or just for extracting information. (+1 Ab)
[ ]Oh yeah! And I'd enjoy it too! Oh, but I would also do it for information, of course.(+1 M)
[ ]All the time. I enjoy every moment of it. But information is nice, too, I guess.(+1 D)
6)Do you kill for pleasure?
[ ]Never!(+1 P)
[ ]Never. In fact, I would always try to bring back a bad guy alive and to justice, no matter how vile they are.(+1 S)
[x]Never. In fact, I would rather bring back a bad guy alive and to justice or at least ruin them.(+1 Up)
[ ]Seldomly(+1 A)
[ ]I have my reasons for killing, but not for pleasure.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I may kill for the sheer pleasure of it, at times.(+1 M)
[ ]Slaughter them all! >:3(+1 D)
7)Do you help others?
[ ]Always!(+1 P)
[x]I do my best.(+1 S)
[ ]Whoever's in need.(+1 Up)
[ ]Maybe, but especially if I get paid for it.(+1 A)
[ ]Maybe, Maybe not.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Only if I got rewarded to do it.(+1 M)
[ ]If I felt like it. But I'd also do it to win them over for one of my plans! >:3 Muahahahah!(+1 D)
8)Do you work within the law whenever possible?
[ ]Always!(+1 P)
[x]Whenever possible.(+1 S)
[ ]Rarely(+1 Up,Ab,D)
[ ]Rarely, unless I needed got out of it.(+1 A)
[ ]If I absolutely have to, then yes. But otherwise, no.(+1 M)
9)At the same time, would you ever break the law?
[x]Never unless absolutely necessary(+1 P)
[ ]I'll sometimes go against the book when it's necessary. But only when it comes to bad guys.(+1 S)
[ ]Obviously yes, but it's all for a good purpose.(+1 Up)
[ ]All the time. I'll do anything to get what I want.(+1 A)
[ ]I don't even need to think about it.(+1 Ab)
[ ]Isn't it obvious? I won't let anything stand in my way.(+1 M)
[ ]Isn't it obvious? Authority is so overrated.(+1 D)
10)Do you have any respect for authority, law, self-discipline and honor?
[ ]Yes.(+1 P)
[x]I don't trust authority. The law and government probably isn't the best thing for fighting crime. But it's the best thing we've got.(+1 S)
[ ]I don't trust or like authority, the law or bureaucracy. It's all been corrupted and abused.(+1 Up)
[ ]I have little respect for law, authority or self-discipline.(+1 A)
[ ]The law? Bureaucracy? What a bunch of useless garbage. Honor, self-discipline, and the concept of laws and order, though...now that's something I have great respect for.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I don't trust or like authority and the law.(+1 M)
[ ]Honor, self-discipline, and authority are the instruments of weaklings!(+1 D)
11)Do you work well in a group?
[x]Yep!(+1 P)
[ ]Sure, but I hate politics and rules that hold me down.(+1 S)
[ ]Sure. Especially when it's all about me, pays wells, and/or I get something out of it(+1 Up)
[ ]I don't like to be bound to groups, no matter what they tell me. I like to come & go as I please.(+1 A)
[ ]I'll work with others to achieve my goals.(+1 Ab)
[ ]If I know for a fact that it'll help me in the long run, then I'll do it.(+1 M)
[ ]Never! I don't take orders from anyone. In fact, I'm the one who calls the shots!(+1 D)
12)If someone offered you "dirty" money, or ill-gotten valuables or goods, would you take it?
[ ]Never! Not even something that belonged to a crook.(+1 P)
[ ]I'll never take dirty money. (+1 S)
[ ]Yep! I'll take dirty money.(+1 Up)
[ ]Do you even have to ask me? Of course, I'd take dirty money.(+1 A)
[x]Sure, I'd take dirty money. but there are times that I just can't take it for my own reasons.(+1 Ab)
[ ]I'll take dirty money, stolen good, and illegal items. In fact, I'll steal stuff for myself whenever the chance arises.(+1 M)
[ ]Always have, always will. I'll steal too.(+1 D)
13)Would you ever betray a friend?
[x]Never!(+1 P,S,Up)
[ ]Absolutely not! How could you ever ask me a thing like that?!(+1 Ab)
[ ]Possibly. Sorry, pal.(+1 A)
[ ]If it served my needs...(+1 M)
[ ]They're just friends. I can always find more friends!(+1 D)
14)Do you have a high regard for life and freedom?
[x]Yes(+1 Up)
[ ]No
15) Do you have any concern for the lives and welfare of others
[x]Yes
[ ]No(+1 M)
16) Do you like hanging out with the wrong crowd?
[]Yes(+1 D)
[x]No
Total Score:
P: 4/14
S: 8/14
Up: 6/14
A: 1/14
Ab: 2/14
M: 0/14
D: 0/14
Depending on whatever you got the most points in, you could be the following:
(P)Principled: The do-gooder, the knight in shining armor, the boy scout. Compassionate, merciful, cooperative, and sincere, you always put others before yourself. You'll always work with and by the law, have a high regard for authority, life and freedom.
(S)Scrupulous: The vigilante, the renegade cop, the hero of the common people. You are not a vicious or vindictive character, but rather one who works around the standard laws in the means of justice, retribution, or for the greater good of all. You're driven to do what is right and take a stand what you yourself consider wrong, not by what anyone else dictates. Still, you'll try to work within the law whenever possible.
(Up)Unprincipled: The honorable thief, the mercenary with morals, the dude looking for the best deal, even if it comes from good or bad people. While selfish and greedy, you're not a total scumbag. You hate dealing with the worst kinds of people, whether good or bad, and live by a code of honor in which you'll do what's necessary to fight evil in your own unique way.
(A)Anarchist: The Con-Artist, the gambler, the uncommitted freebooter. You don't care for any real cause, whether good or bad. You're not malicious at all; instead, you're just looking out for number one. As long as you get something out of it, you'll do whatever anyone asks you to do, no matter how dirty.
(Ab)Aberrant: The chivalrous death knight, the extreme anti-hero, the business-like devil who makes deals in exchange for souls. You attain your goals through, force, intimidation, and power. How you do this, however, is by a personal code of honor you, yourself, achieve. It isn't something anyone has to understand, but you will never break this code. Ever. You may or may not perceive yourself as one who is evil or with evil intentions. But you can't deny that your actions do seem to stir up trouble.
(M)Miscreant: The common criminal, the amoral minion, the cruel mercenary. You are only out for yourself--money, power, glory, wealth--and you will do anything to attain it. You will lie, cheat, steal, and kill to get what you want. Your ambition knows no bounds. People may not like you very much, but what does it matter? You'll be sitting high on top real soon!
(D)Diabolical: The deranged psychopath, the megalomaniac, the salt of the earth. You. Are. Scum. And you're damn proud of it, too! You're a cruel, brutal killer who trusts no one and cares for no one but yourself. You always get what you want, and you will crush anyone who gets in your way. Anyone who is smaller than you, you'll blow them away like castles of sand. You're so despicable, that even Aberrant characters will avoid you. Still, you can't help it. You just love being a monster!
So, I am apparently the renegade hero type.
Ok, I'll accept that.
Now as for who to tag next for this...
Hmmmmmmm...
...Aha!
I know just the people for it!!
Jagrrr
Lexington_E_Greywinds
Lance_FoxxHave fun guys...! ;-p
Feeling Mousey...?
Posted 15 years agoOk, for those of you who are familiar with me and/or know the gist of therianthropy, you know by now that I have three therian sides altogether. Wolf, cat and skunk.
However, I am beginning to grow suspicious of another therian side emerging.
All the typical signs I experience are there.
The ability to envision myself in an anthro form of that animal in real-time.
The shared characteristics of the animal.
The behaviors/mannerisms.
The attachment to the form.
The dreams.
To make it even more convulted than it is, the suspected fourth therian side is a mouse.
Yep, you read that right...
A mouse.
Geez @_@
However, I am beginning to grow suspicious of another therian side emerging.
All the typical signs I experience are there.
The ability to envision myself in an anthro form of that animal in real-time.
The shared characteristics of the animal.
The behaviors/mannerisms.
The attachment to the form.
The dreams.
To make it even more convulted than it is, the suspected fourth therian side is a mouse.
Yep, you read that right...
A mouse.
Geez @_@
And I Spread Another Meme
Posted 15 years agoChallenged by Lexington_E_Greywinds...
who was challenged by
thetakara
If you comment here I will:
1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Tell you my least favorite thing about you.
8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.
Lexington_E_Greywinds... who was challenged by
thetakaraIf you comment here I will:
1. Respond with something random about you.
2. Tell you which color you remind me of.
3. Tell you my first memory of you.
4. Tell you what animal you remind me of.
5. Ask you something I've always wondered about you.
6. Tell you my favorite thing about you.
7. Tell you my least favorite thing about you.
8. Challenge you to post this on your journal.
Let's Spread the Art Love XD
Posted 15 years agoTagged by 
kingdomheartskeeper
1.) Be one of the first 20 people commenting on this journal entry, and I will add you to the Featured List!
2.) For each of the 20 first people answering this journal I will put his/her avatar and the three deviations I like most from his/her gallery on the list.
3.) If you answer, you'll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing the list with 19 other people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone.
1. kingdomheartskeeper {1}{2}{3}
2.
Duke317 {1} {2} {3}
3.
toekneebob {1}{2}{3}
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
kingdomheartskeeper1.) Be one of the first 20 people commenting on this journal entry, and I will add you to the Featured List!
2.) For each of the 20 first people answering this journal I will put his/her avatar and the three deviations I like most from his/her gallery on the list.
3.) If you answer, you'll have to do the same in your journal, putting me on the first place, completing the list with 19 other people. The idea of this is not to get a free feature, it is to spread art around for everyone.
1.
kingdomheartskeeper {1}{2}{3}2.
Duke317 {1} {2} {3}3.
toekneebob {1}{2}{3}4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
Because I Had Nothing Better to Post
Posted 15 years agoTaken from 
Taras' journal because I promised I would pass this meme around.
That, and I had nothing better to do.
1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Film:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of FA?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Taras' journal because I promised I would pass this meme around.That, and I had nothing better to do.
1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Film:
5. Favorite Song or Album:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:
9. Do we know each other outside of FA?
10. What's your philosophy on life?
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty?
12. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
13. What is your favorite memory of us?
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure?
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they?
17. Can we get together and make a cake?
18. Which country is your spiritual home?
19. What is your big weakness?
20. Do you think I'm a good person?
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school?
22. Describe your accent:
23. If you could change anything about me, would you?
24. What do you wear to sleep?
25. Trousers or skirts?
26. Cigarettes or alcohol?
27. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
28. Will you repost this so I can fill it out for you?
Happy Easter/Down to Business
Posted 15 years agoHey everyone.
First off, I wanted to say Happy Easter to you all. If you don't celebrate Easter, hope you had a good Passover. If you don't celebrate either, hope you had a good whatever. :-P
As for my Easter special...
Well...
It fell through. I actually contacted two possible models and they both ended up either not getting back to me or not being able to do it. So it'll have to wait until next year. Better luck next time.
Now, it's time to get down to business.
For those who have requested manipulations from me, this does not apply to you. However, for any future requesters, I regret to inform you that I am no longer doing requests. I am instead moving onto a commission status.
Why you might ask. Well, my time is very limited these days. On top of it, I am trying to write a novel so I can get it published and finally take a step in the direction I want to go in my life. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy manipulations but it isn't what I want to do with the rest of my life nor is it going to put food on the table at the end of the day. In the long run, this is just stealing time away from my ability to get writing done but at the same time gives me some time away from everything else & enjoyment.
So it's a double-edged sword which leads to the bottom line; why not make it work for me in some way so I can keep doing it but don't feel like I'm wasting time on top of it by doing this. Now, I'm still working out a general price guideline that is fair so I am not ripping people off. The numbers will be posted in another entry once I have it finalized.
If commission is not realistic for some people, keep in mind I am willing to do art/story/photomanipulation trade.
Thank you and that is all.
People I Owe Manipulations:
1.) Anonymous - Indigo the Wolf Mobian Photomanipulation: In Progress
2.) Anonymous - Deer TF
3.)
rakoonzack - Racoon TF
4.)
Serathin - Black Dragon Photomanipulation
First off, I wanted to say Happy Easter to you all. If you don't celebrate Easter, hope you had a good Passover. If you don't celebrate either, hope you had a good whatever. :-P
As for my Easter special...
Well...
It fell through. I actually contacted two possible models and they both ended up either not getting back to me or not being able to do it. So it'll have to wait until next year. Better luck next time.
Now, it's time to get down to business.
For those who have requested manipulations from me, this does not apply to you. However, for any future requesters, I regret to inform you that I am no longer doing requests. I am instead moving onto a commission status.
Why you might ask. Well, my time is very limited these days. On top of it, I am trying to write a novel so I can get it published and finally take a step in the direction I want to go in my life. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy manipulations but it isn't what I want to do with the rest of my life nor is it going to put food on the table at the end of the day. In the long run, this is just stealing time away from my ability to get writing done but at the same time gives me some time away from everything else & enjoyment.
So it's a double-edged sword which leads to the bottom line; why not make it work for me in some way so I can keep doing it but don't feel like I'm wasting time on top of it by doing this. Now, I'm still working out a general price guideline that is fair so I am not ripping people off. The numbers will be posted in another entry once I have it finalized.
If commission is not realistic for some people, keep in mind I am willing to do art/story/photomanipulation trade.
Thank you and that is all.
People I Owe Manipulations:
1.) Anonymous - Indigo the Wolf Mobian Photomanipulation: In Progress
2.) Anonymous - Deer TF
3.)
rakoonzack - Racoon TF4.)
Serathin - Black Dragon PhotomanipulationA Pay It Forward Queue
Posted 15 years agoTaken from kingdomheartskeeper's journal
The next five people who comment on this journal, in addition to those before, will get a free photomanipulation.
1.)
corbyn_prower - Blue Fox TF: Completed
2.) Anonymous - Indigo the Wolf Mobian Photomanipulation: In Progress
3.) Anonymous - Deer TF
4.) rakoonzack - Racoon TF
5.) ??? - Easter Special TF
6.) Serathin - Black Dragon Photomanipulation
7.)
Kia-Kelio - Pending
8.)
9.)
10.)
However, in return, you must offer 10 free photomanipulations/sketches/stories in your own journal. If you've already done 10 Free Sketches/Photomanipulations/Stories (recently) you still qualify -- simply link the journal entry in your comment. Here's the thing:
1. I will not do your request until I see this in your journal. (Be sure to send a link to your journal)
2. In your comment, include a link to reference picture(s) of any character you want me to do.
3. Only one character per person.
4. Story restrictions are decided by the author.
I reserve the right to argue about/turn down subjects and take as long as I want/need to in finishing them. Remember, it's free. I owe you nothing!
Note #1: This does not apply to the previous five I have promised photomanipulations to.
Note #2: I am still looking for someone to take the Easter Special TF photomanipulation spot so if you're interested, you may request it and bypass having to do this Pay It Forward queue.
kingdomheartskeeper's journalThe next five people who comment on this journal, in addition to those before, will get a free photomanipulation.
1.)
corbyn_prower - Blue Fox TF: Completed2.) Anonymous - Indigo the Wolf Mobian Photomanipulation: In Progress
3.) Anonymous - Deer TF
4.)
rakoonzack - Racoon TF5.) ??? - Easter Special TF
6.)
Serathin - Black Dragon Photomanipulation7.)
Kia-Kelio - Pending8.)
9.)
10.)
However, in return, you must offer 10 free photomanipulations/sketches/stories in your own journal. If you've already done 10 Free Sketches/Photomanipulations/Stories (recently) you still qualify -- simply link the journal entry in your comment. Here's the thing:
1. I will not do your request until I see this in your journal. (Be sure to send a link to your journal)
2. In your comment, include a link to reference picture(s) of any character you want me to do.
3. Only one character per person.
4. Story restrictions are decided by the author.
I reserve the right to argue about/turn down subjects and take as long as I want/need to in finishing them. Remember, it's free. I owe you nothing!
Note #1: This does not apply to the previous five I have promised photomanipulations to.
Note #2: I am still looking for someone to take the Easter Special TF photomanipulation spot so if you're interested, you may request it and bypass having to do this Pay It Forward queue.
Compass of Accomplishment
Posted 15 years agoSo things are slowly returning to a normal pace for me.
I've finally been able to get back to writing my novel that I've had in mind for a while. Here's hoping I have a first draft ready by May. I have also made some friends in town finally, after two years. Guess it helps to work as a security officer at the local mall, heheh.
Beyond that, I now have a nice little pile of requests piling up which I shall list below:
corbyn_prower
Fox TF Photomanipulation
Anonymous
Wolf Mobian TF Photomanipulation
Deer TF Photomanipulation
RaKoonZacK
Raccoon TF Photomanipulation
???
Easter Special Photomanipulation
So yes, this shall be interesting to see how all of these will turn out.
By the way, for any electronica music lovers out there, buy the recent Assemblage 23 album titled Compass, and make sure it is the 2 disc Deluxe Edition. Believe me when I say you won't regret it. ;)
I've finally been able to get back to writing my novel that I've had in mind for a while. Here's hoping I have a first draft ready by May. I have also made some friends in town finally, after two years. Guess it helps to work as a security officer at the local mall, heheh.
Beyond that, I now have a nice little pile of requests piling up which I shall list below:
corbyn_prowerFox TF Photomanipulation
Anonymous
Wolf Mobian TF Photomanipulation
Deer TF Photomanipulation
RaKoonZacKRaccoon TF Photomanipulation
???
Easter Special Photomanipulation
So yes, this shall be interesting to see how all of these will turn out.
By the way, for any electronica music lovers out there, buy the recent Assemblage 23 album titled Compass, and make sure it is the 2 disc Deluxe Edition. Believe me when I say you won't regret it. ;)
Recovering...
Posted 15 years agoSo it's been over a week now since I first started getting sick and man, did it knock me out.
What was it I had?
According the the doctor, bronchitis.
Lovely.
Thanks to said bronchitis, all my plans for last week and this week ended up getting cancelled unfortunately. No going car shopping with my wife or going to see a movie with her. No guys' night out with my friends. No work. Just stay in bed and live on a diet of gatorade, yogurt and medication.
On top of that, my computer got hit with that stupid "XP Anti-Virus 2010" virus and it lead to me wiping my computer clean in order to get rid of it. Thankfully everything is operational once more with everything from my harddrive salvaged before the clean slate. But what a pain in the @$$. It took two days to move everything onto the external harddrive because I had to run the computer in safe mode. Never again, please... @_@
Anyway, things are finally getting back on track. All I can say is Hallejulah, it's about time!
What was it I had?
According the the doctor, bronchitis.
Lovely.
Thanks to said bronchitis, all my plans for last week and this week ended up getting cancelled unfortunately. No going car shopping with my wife or going to see a movie with her. No guys' night out with my friends. No work. Just stay in bed and live on a diet of gatorade, yogurt and medication.
On top of that, my computer got hit with that stupid "XP Anti-Virus 2010" virus and it lead to me wiping my computer clean in order to get rid of it. Thankfully everything is operational once more with everything from my harddrive salvaged before the clean slate. But what a pain in the @$$. It took two days to move everything onto the external harddrive because I had to run the computer in safe mode. Never again, please... @_@
Anyway, things are finally getting back on track. All I can say is Hallejulah, it's about time!
Sick Skunk...
Posted 15 years agoDamnit!
Just when I thought I had passed through my stint of illness of the winter, I get hit with a real bad cold, complete with phlegm galore, coughing out a lung and using tissues to blow my nose faster than the person who has diaherra in the public restroom going through a roll of toilet paper. Time to become acquainted with everyone's old friend... Mucinex.
Joy...
~flops over and grumbles~
Just when I thought I had passed through my stint of illness of the winter, I get hit with a real bad cold, complete with phlegm galore, coughing out a lung and using tissues to blow my nose faster than the person who has diaherra in the public restroom going through a roll of toilet paper. Time to become acquainted with everyone's old friend... Mucinex.
Joy...
~flops over and grumbles~
One Down, One to Go!
Posted 15 years agoSo I have finally completed one photomanipulation request for 
Proto, after life ganging up on me hardcore. Now I have one more to complete for 
AxelWolf04. Hopefully that won't take near as long.
Beyond that, not much else to report except that I have been trying to write, take care of my daughter and get on Second Life to RP with my wife who has suddenly gotten addicted to it. =P
That and on Monday, since she had President's Day off, we used the day to make each other a balted Valentine's Day dinner. She prepared cornish hens and I made zuppa toscana with italian breadsticks. Very delicious dinner indeed, heheh.
I have also been given a new schedule at work that will have me working mornings so that I have evenings open. Not sure how to feel about it other than it will be a big transition for me.
Well, that's all for now.
Until next time...
Proto, after life ganging up on me hardcore. Now I have one more to complete for 
AxelWolf04. Hopefully that won't take near as long.Beyond that, not much else to report except that I have been trying to write, take care of my daughter and get on Second Life to RP with my wife who has suddenly gotten addicted to it. =P
That and on Monday, since she had President's Day off, we used the day to make each other a balted Valentine's Day dinner. She prepared cornish hens and I made zuppa toscana with italian breadsticks. Very delicious dinner indeed, heheh.
I have also been given a new schedule at work that will have me working mornings so that I have evenings open. Not sure how to feel about it other than it will be a big transition for me.
Well, that's all for now.
Until next time...
And For Something New...
Posted 15 years agoHowdy peeps,
Flowtac here, deciding it's time I break silence and actually make use of this journal so you know I'm still alive and all... even though what you really want is more work from me, heheh.
Well, things have been very hectic lately. Between my wife and I juggling work and chores at home, we've been watching our little angel (sometimes little devil) Paige. Then I've been trying to fit in time to work on writing a fantasy novel on top of making new photomanipulations and finding free time to just breathe & enjoy life. It's definitely an art I'm still mastering right now.
I am currently working on two photomanipulation requests, one for Proto & one for AxelWolf04. It's just taking forever due to the previous reasons mentioned above on top of experimenting with some new techniques to pull off a more realistic manipulation. As for what they will be of... it's a secret that only the requesters are in on for the time being. The rest will have to wait and see. ;)
It seems I also have yet another therianthrope side to me on top of the wolf and cat. If you need a hint, take a look at some of my most recent faved pics featuring everybody's favorite striped and musky "mustelid" (term used loosely since they are no longer considered part of the mustelid family).
Anyhow, I better bounce out for now.
Take care!
Flowtac here, deciding it's time I break silence and actually make use of this journal so you know I'm still alive and all... even though what you really want is more work from me, heheh.
Well, things have been very hectic lately. Between my wife and I juggling work and chores at home, we've been watching our little angel (sometimes little devil) Paige. Then I've been trying to fit in time to work on writing a fantasy novel on top of making new photomanipulations and finding free time to just breathe & enjoy life. It's definitely an art I'm still mastering right now.
I am currently working on two photomanipulation requests, one for
Proto & one for AxelWolf04. It's just taking forever due to the previous reasons mentioned above on top of experimenting with some new techniques to pull off a more realistic manipulation. As for what they will be of... it's a secret that only the requesters are in on for the time being. The rest will have to wait and see. ;)It seems I also have yet another therianthrope side to me on top of the wolf and cat. If you need a hint, take a look at some of my most recent faved pics featuring everybody's favorite striped and musky "mustelid" (term used loosely since they are no longer considered part of the mustelid family).
Anyhow, I better bounce out for now.
Take care!
