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Slightly concerned for my future on FA (Long read)
Posted 2 years agoHey everyone, it's been a while.
Sorry that my activity for the last 6 or so months has been very minimal, there's been a mixture of very full-on studies and some close family deaths as well that have contributed to me being very M.I.A. But I should hopefully start to get some art done after this semester finishes up in a couple of weeks. So those who are still waiting on commissions from me, please do not think I have forgotten about you or those pieces. Motivation has been as low as it's been for a very very long time.
But now to the main topic of intention for this journal.
As most of you may have seen, there's been some rather interesting new policies added to this site, particularly when it comes to Pokemon and other characters that may be seen as "minor age-looking". So basically you either have to "age" them up (which is hard for the majority of them to have that done to them, unless you highly anthropomorphisized them) or just don't draw them period. Also the ruling is kinda giving a bad image on those who are physically petite. I'm hearing there has been artwork removed of petite or flat-chested female characters, because it's deemed as someone with physique of a minor character. I mean loli and shotas, I can understand sites banning those, that's more than fair enough, I get that area is a big part of the initial idea behind this ruling. But come on, the extension of who and what other kinds of content that's being affected is ridiculous and unnecessary. The stupidest part about this is that apparently minor characters are still given the thumbs up with vore themed content, because that's apparently counted as SFW. A MASSIVE facepalm in my books, and I hope the staff at FA review and render this ASAP, because it's gonna give them a very embarrassing reputation in the long run.
Speaking of which, altogether I've noticed that the staff here have added more and more of these restrictions, and the staff themselves has been more and more filled up with these radical activist types who are trying to push these ideations to the main heads of the site to cleanse FA of all themes that can be deemed "insensitive" or "morally wrong". What these people need to understand is most of the fandom (at least those who are still active here) can 100% understand the moral differences between what's appropriate for kinks with furry art/fantasy and kinks IRL. Apart from a very small select few kinks in art that are very understantable for why they're banned (even if they don't have any IRL thoughts, that I can also understand and respect), but I don't think we should policing other on what type of art they can enjoy drawing or viewing.
Some of you might remember a very long journal I wrote on the (still-ongoing) debates about feral NSFW art, and my thoughts on that. With more and more of these changes happening, I'm growing more and more pessimistic about how long it will be until art involving ferals, at least on a mature+ theme basis, and those who produced or commission it will be purged and banned from this site. Doesn't matter how logical it is that feral characters in NSFW pics are still HEAVILY humanized in either expression, emotions and dialogues in some cases, I feel the fandom's viewing that all feral fans must be zoophiles is growing larger. To the point that I think that eventually it will lead a big impression to those who run this site, to start prohibiting it all together.
So I'm going to give a heads up on what my intentions will be, IF the FA heads do indeed target feral artwork in future.
If it does get to the point where feral artwork ends up becoming banned here, then I WILL be leaving Fur Affinity.
If I at that point I haven't been permanently suspended from the moment they start speed-searching through and purging every feral NSFW thing known to mankind, then I myself will personally close down my profile. Either way, there's so much feral stuff through my profile, that I'll probably be bound to be wiped from here before I can even say the word COOKIE. And in connection to that, a fair bit of my art creating future in the fandom will be probably come to a halt. I probably wouldn't publicly open for commissions again, because this site has been the only site where I've been able to gain some kind of business, and it's the only site I have felt safe to do so. I've got profiles on other furry sites such as Weasyl, SoFurry and Inkbunny, but I haven't really gotten much business on there ever, and I barely ever update them nowadays. I've also too voiced my opinion on dealing commission on Twitters, for those who may be wondering up to this point of the journal. I am absolutely NOT up for migrating my business over there, but I may post whatever art I do produce on there as a personal gallery (probably on my AD account). I'd probably only open comms and/or trades for close friends, that would probably be it.
And again just a reminder, this is all IF everything goes south with FA in terms of what they'll further police on this platform.
That being said, I hope that the staff here continue to have enough logical sense to know that it's not a dangerous theme of artwork to invest in and don't consider getting rid of it. Because if they do, I'm very sure that it's not going to be just myself that will be either leaving here or getting banned here. I would strongly assume that at least half of the registered users here will also be on that same boat, and we'll just happily watch how it would backfire on this site as it sinks into the depths of the internet archives.
At the same time it would be pretty sad if it came to that, because I have called this home as an artist for the last 10-12 years. I've grown my business and reputation as an artist here, and most of the artists I follow still primarily post here.
The only business "option" I would maybe consider to the public, and something I have heard other artists suggest they might do as well in that kind of situation, is go back to Patreon. I did have a Patreon thing on about 4-5 years ago, but I never got any followers, plus I didn't post anywhere near enough to reach my part of the tier fulfilments to claim the money from those who did. If I did go back there I'd probably still only work on personal and fanart projects, and I'd probably base the tiers off resolution quality, timing of post releases, special content and maybe WIP access. If anyone would be up for seeing that either way, let me know in the comments below. But I'd probably consider that at the very least when my motivation and art activity is a lot better than what it is right now.
But anyways, that's the end of my massive pessimistic rant about the craziness here.
In better news with life updates, MY FURSUIT CAME! I may post a photo or two of him soon on here, but for now if you want to check out any photos of him until then, I have some posted up on my Twitter - https://twitter.com/gangstaguru123
It's mostly what I use Twitter for nowadays XD
I hope everyone is currently doing well ^.^ Update/Sorry it's been a while
Posted 3 years agoHey everyone! Thought I'd give a bit of an update on things.
Firstly I apologize to those who've commissioned me for taking so long on your pieces, and to everyone in general for the lack of content.
I ended up going back to studying this year, doing my Bachelor of Design (Visual Communications major). There's some parts of it I'm enjoying and there's some parts to it that I'm really not enjoying. A lot of the classes to do with my majoring units had been already credited for, due to already completing those skills in the previous course I did.
While it's good that it gives me one less class to worry about each semester, but at the same time I do want to be doing something that's closer to what I enjoy doing. And the assignments are all very full on too, which adds a lot of pressure and stress. Also for some reason, a few of the mental problems I gained with the class I withdrew from in 2020 are slowly coming back and again it's affecting the motivation to do anything I'd usually enjoy. I'm slowly feeling unhappy in general, as if I'm not supposed to enjoy anything in life, even though I know that it's not true. But I am starting to gain some serious thoughts on whether design is what I want to do anymore. Ever since those serious issues I had in 2020, the want to be a graphic designer hasn't really been there anymore. But at the same time, it's one of the only things I'm relatively good at and I don't really want to do anything else outside of it for a professional future. The areas of expertise I enjoy aren't that extended outside of it.
It's again like before, it's also taking a major toll on my art motivation. I struggle to even do any personal sketches without being afraid to put the pen to pad. I honestly don't know what the original trigger is for all this happening again and again, but I don't know whether I should get some help or not for it. I think the main fear with doing THAT, is not knowing how I would explain myself to a professional. I personally believe I suck at explaining how I'm feeling in a more simpler fashion. I always tend to overexplain myself, and I feel I confuse people with that. But either way, I'll see what my options are.
Anyway, in better news my fursuit is just about completed. The maker has just a couple of smaller things to work on before the suit is ready to be shipped over, and I'm pretty excited.
A quick recap too of a few con events that's happened. Went to both FurDU and Aurawra earlier this year, also just last week I attended Tails of Terror, which was a mini Halloween theme con that was ran under FurDU's name. FurDU I thankfully didn't get sick during the con this time and was able to enjoy the weekend fully. But out of all the conventions, I think Aurawra was the main highlight for me. I really enjoyed myself there, it was a really chill con. Got to suit and attend a couple of events, but a lot of it was spend hanging and chilling with friends. That honestly is all I could've asked for a weekend at a furry con.
I will be attending both of these cons again next year, this time SURELY I'll be suiting as Jaron. I have many plans set for him too when he gets here, which I'm excited to show everyone.
Also, got COVID a few weeks back. It went through very quickly, but I literally felt everything XD I've still got a very annoying cough which I really hope pisses off asap.
But yeah, again I'm so sorry for the the art delays. And to my commissioners, please don't think I've forgotten you. Things have just been very busy and very tough on me mentally
Firstly I apologize to those who've commissioned me for taking so long on your pieces, and to everyone in general for the lack of content.
I ended up going back to studying this year, doing my Bachelor of Design (Visual Communications major). There's some parts of it I'm enjoying and there's some parts to it that I'm really not enjoying. A lot of the classes to do with my majoring units had been already credited for, due to already completing those skills in the previous course I did.
While it's good that it gives me one less class to worry about each semester, but at the same time I do want to be doing something that's closer to what I enjoy doing. And the assignments are all very full on too, which adds a lot of pressure and stress. Also for some reason, a few of the mental problems I gained with the class I withdrew from in 2020 are slowly coming back and again it's affecting the motivation to do anything I'd usually enjoy. I'm slowly feeling unhappy in general, as if I'm not supposed to enjoy anything in life, even though I know that it's not true. But I am starting to gain some serious thoughts on whether design is what I want to do anymore. Ever since those serious issues I had in 2020, the want to be a graphic designer hasn't really been there anymore. But at the same time, it's one of the only things I'm relatively good at and I don't really want to do anything else outside of it for a professional future. The areas of expertise I enjoy aren't that extended outside of it.
It's again like before, it's also taking a major toll on my art motivation. I struggle to even do any personal sketches without being afraid to put the pen to pad. I honestly don't know what the original trigger is for all this happening again and again, but I don't know whether I should get some help or not for it. I think the main fear with doing THAT, is not knowing how I would explain myself to a professional. I personally believe I suck at explaining how I'm feeling in a more simpler fashion. I always tend to overexplain myself, and I feel I confuse people with that. But either way, I'll see what my options are.
Anyway, in better news my fursuit is just about completed. The maker has just a couple of smaller things to work on before the suit is ready to be shipped over, and I'm pretty excited.
A quick recap too of a few con events that's happened. Went to both FurDU and Aurawra earlier this year, also just last week I attended Tails of Terror, which was a mini Halloween theme con that was ran under FurDU's name. FurDU I thankfully didn't get sick during the con this time and was able to enjoy the weekend fully. But out of all the conventions, I think Aurawra was the main highlight for me. I really enjoyed myself there, it was a really chill con. Got to suit and attend a couple of events, but a lot of it was spend hanging and chilling with friends. That honestly is all I could've asked for a weekend at a furry con.
I will be attending both of these cons again next year, this time SURELY I'll be suiting as Jaron. I have many plans set for him too when he gets here, which I'm excited to show everyone.
Also, got COVID a few weeks back. It went through very quickly, but I literally felt everything XD I've still got a very annoying cough which I really hope pisses off asap.
But yeah, again I'm so sorry for the the art delays. And to my commissioners, please don't think I've forgotten you. Things have just been very busy and very tough on me mentally
Aurawra '22 Meme
Posted 3 years agoStolen from 
FURtitude
Stoked to be going to 
Aurawra this weekend! First time I'll be visiting Sydney in about 15 or so years.
Where are you staying?
At the con hotel
How are you arriving?
Planes, trains and automobiles!
What day are you getting there?
Thursday arvo!
Are you sharing a room with anyone?
Sharing a room with 
ScribbleDragon
Can I take photos of you/with you?
I'll be probably taking photos if anything
Are there events you might be attending?
Not sure XD
What suit(s) will you have??
Unfortunately no suit for me yet, although Jaron's suit is just about finished! So he should be right to go for the next convention I plan to attend
How can I find you/contact you?
If you want to contact me, PM me for my details for social network stuff
What is your gender?
The manliest man who ever manned the man!
How old are you?
Twenny-sicks!
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
Nah, and I'm not looking for anything serious in particular yet.
Do you have a sketchbook/dealer's table/offer free art?
Nope XD
Can I talk to you?
Sure!
Can I touch you?
Depends where and how you're touching me.
Can I buy you drinks?
Lemon-lime bitters or ginger beer is the way to go for me!
Can I give you stuff?
Please do! Hand me your wallets!!!!
May I kidnap you to my room?
Good luck with that XD
Are you nice?
I'd like to think I am
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Wave your paw in my face and you should get my attention easily
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Around the con somewhere with friends.
What/where will you be eating?
Food
What's the next con you're planning on?
FurDU Halloween con 
ScribbleDragonFurDU '22 Meme
Posted 3 years agoStolen from a friendo!
Going to FurDU this year, first con in three years. SOOOO excited!
Where are you staying?
At the Mantra
How are you arriving?
I'll be carpooling with a friend.
What day are you getting there?
Getting there Thursday 28th, leaving on Monday 2nd
Are you sharing a room with anyone?
FURtitude 
DARk_W0LF2529 
Kichi.
Can I take photos of you/with you?
I might be borrowing a friend's suit during the con (as mine won't be done sadly by the time the con starts), so if I'm in suit then go for it!
If I'm not, then preferably not unless you're a close friend.
Are there events you might be attending?
Ripley's Believe Or Not and the Talent Show. Might do the Floor Wars seems that a couple of friends are hosting it. Might as well support them.
What suit(s) will you have??
As mentioned, Jaron won't be here by the con date. May be wearing a friend's one though.
How can I find you/contact you?
Look for someone with the Jaron badges
What is your gender?
Menny men men men menny men men men
How old are you?
Twenny sex
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
No and not really atm
Do you have a sketchbook/dealer's table/offer free art?
Not planning to at this point
Can I talk to you?
Sure, why not XD Warning though, I'm not the biggest social butterfly.
Can I touch you?
Probably best to ask me first depending on what's being touched and how XD
Can I buy you drinks?
Ginger beer is love language
Can I give you stuff?
HAND ME YOUR WALLETS!
May I kidnap you to my room?
Not if I kidnap you first, now what BISH?!
Are you nice?
If you're nice to me, yes of course!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Sing Ace Ventura's 'Alrighty Then' song. I shall join in.
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Hanging with friends, so wherever they are XD
What/where will you be eating?
Food
What's the next con you're planning on?
Possibly Aurawra
Ok, ROLE CALL! Who will I be seeing at FurDU this year??
Going to
FurDU this year, first con in three years. SOOOO excited!Where are you staying?
At the Mantra
How are you arriving?
I'll be carpooling with a friend.
What day are you getting there?
Getting there Thursday 28th, leaving on Monday 2nd
Are you sharing a room with anyone?
FURtitude 
DARk_W0LF2529 
Kichi. Can I take photos of you/with you?
I might be borrowing a friend's suit during the con (as mine won't be done sadly by the time the con starts), so if I'm in suit then go for it!
If I'm not, then preferably not unless you're a close friend.
Are there events you might be attending?
Ripley's Believe Or Not and the Talent Show. Might do the Floor Wars seems that a couple of friends are hosting it. Might as well support them.
What suit(s) will you have??
As mentioned, Jaron won't be here by the con date. May be wearing a friend's one though.
How can I find you/contact you?
Look for someone with the Jaron badges
What is your gender?
Menny men men men menny men men men
How old are you?
Twenny sex
Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
No and not really atm
Do you have a sketchbook/dealer's table/offer free art?
Not planning to at this point
Can I talk to you?
Sure, why not XD Warning though, I'm not the biggest social butterfly.
Can I touch you?
Probably best to ask me first depending on what's being touched and how XD
Can I buy you drinks?
Ginger beer is love language
Can I give you stuff?
HAND ME YOUR WALLETS!
May I kidnap you to my room?
Not if I kidnap you first, now what BISH?!
Are you nice?
If you're nice to me, yes of course!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Sing Ace Ventura's 'Alrighty Then' song. I shall join in.
Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Hanging with friends, so wherever they are XD
What/where will you be eating?
Food
What's the next con you're planning on?
Possibly
AurawraOk, ROLE CALL! Who will I be seeing at FurDU this year??
AD Twitter!
Posted 3 years agoG'day cobbers!
Just letting you know I've made an AD channel on Twitter.
https://twitter.com/GangstaGuruAD
https://twitter.com/GangstaGuruAD
https://twitter.com/GangstaGuruAD
Here is where I'll be pretty much posting most of my art, as I don't post anything art wise much on my normal channel. Also might tweet a few "personal thoughts there too". Will be interesting to see how this goes February/March Commissions OPEN
Posted 4 years agoFor the first time in two years, I'm open for commissions!
Originally I was only gonna open for 5 commission slots, but I'll stretch it out to 10 slots this time. Only because I need money for some big bills coming up.
These will be done over February and March, decided to put a timeframe on myself to knuckle things down. If I finish them all with a fair bit of time before that timeframe ends, I'll open for a few more then before I open for the April/May batch.
Price Sheet - https://www.furaffinity.net/view/45682505/
Terms of Service
Here's an list of the things I basically like/love to draw, will maybe draw and the things I won't draw.
URL=https://www.f-list.net/c/gangstagur.....k]F-List[/URL]
To contact me about getting a slot or any commission enquiries, you can either send me a message here on FA, or you can contact me on Telegram (@GangstaGuru), which is where I'm much quicker to reply.
Slots:
1. 
Sevren2112 (COMPLETED)
2. 
Husky1980
3. 
Vinny_the_Wolf (COMPLETED)
4. 
XXXPaws
5. Pause Play
6. 
alphanemesis93
7. 
EverlastWolf
8.
9,
10.
Sevren2112
Husky1980
Vinny_the_Wolf
XXXPaws
alphanemesis93
EverlastWolfUpcoming Commission Update!
Posted 4 years agoG'day cobbers!
I'm happy to announce that my commission queue has been completed and finally empty!
I won't be publicly opening for commissions right away, because I'm wanting to work on a few personal projects first.
But when I do, at this point I'll be opening about five slots. And if there's more than five requests for commissions made, I'll be picking the ones that are the most appealing to me. I know to some that might sound selfish, but if it's something that I'm not personally into, then the inspiration and motivation won't be there. But in saying that, don't feel as if you have to come up with an idea that's only appealing to me and not you. I think it's absolutely ideal if it's something that both the commissioner and the artist can enjoy. The experience for both parties would be way more positive and engaging that way!
At this stage, it'll be probably some time later this month when I do open again, which I'm totally excited for! And for those who are wanting/planning on commissioning me, I'm looking forward to seeing what ideas you come up with ^.^ Look out for a journal here or on my Telegram art channel for when I do open!
~ Guru2021 Year Review
Posted 4 years agoG'day cobbers!
Firstly, hope your Christmases were great!
But now to reflect on a year, that for me at least was much better than 2020, which I don't think a lot of Australians can manage to share the same opinion XD
This year has been a year that I would say was a year of discovery for myself, as well as some big changes and accepting a few things.
At the start of the year, I made arguably the biggest choice of my life. I decided I was going to move to Queensland, and that I would be buying my first home there (which some of you will remember the journal I posted about this about 6 months back). I'm not going to re-explain all the reasons why in deep detail, but it was a mix of things like there being a cheaper market for houses, better climate for my physical health and more security with accessing different things.
Done a lot to the house since I moved in, like replacing the 4ft wire fence with a 7ft steel fence, relocating the vegetable patch and made a fire pit. We now have chillies. tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce and bananas growing at the moment and looking to add more things to it.
I was looking at re-attempting the course I withdrew from last year, but at a university in Queensland. When I approached the coordinator, they said that the advanced diploma course was scrapped from the curriculum literally weeks prior, because they wanted a straighter path from the regular diploma to the bachelor's degree course. So at this stage, I'm wanting to do that next year.
The other massive choice I made was getting a puppy. You guys will probably remember me talking about getting Steele and how excited I was about having my first dog that I owned. I knew that the work was going to be hard and I thought I had mentally prepared myself enough to tackle whatever came at me. But I still managed to underestimate the situation so badly XD There's been times where I love him to death and want to cuddle him all day, and times where I've wanted to yeet him over a fence when he has his bratty moments. But I've come to terms with it, and it's all fun and games with raising and training a dog from puppyhood, as well as training myself to mentally manage it properly and to put in the hard work. He also has a couple of minor health issues. One being that he has a sensitive stomach condition, the other being that he's got either seasonal or pollen-based allergies. Very expensive too btw.
I don't regret the decision to get him one bit! He's a VERY smart and happy boy, and he has his particular ways of learning new things, improving his behaviour and his anxiety. I'll try to remember to post a photo of him up soon, because I know a few people here wanted to see what he looks like.
I've made some very good friends since moving up to Queensland, and I also notice that people here are way more outgoing and neighbourly than the general people of Victoria (no offence intended for my VIC buddies out there).
Also got my RSA and RSG, as well as my Food Safety re-done because Queensland's one has different regulations and acts.
Towards the end of this year, I've been gaining a lot more inspiration and motivation for doing art again on a more consistent basis. I won't say it's fully back yet, because I don't ever want to get too far ahead of myself again. But I'm hopeful with how it's looking at the moment.
Discovered and personally accepted a couple of important things about myself too
Went to a doctor to assess me on a potential ADHD diagnosis, and lo and behold I actually do have it XD I've been slowly adapting to it and finding methods to calm it down, which I believe has somewhat contributed to helping me start to get my art mojo back. But most of all it has answered quite a number of questions I've had about myself for YEARS. I have other traits that contribute to my autism, which I've always known that I've had. But there's other quirks and such I had that I didn't have an explanation for, at times making me feel confused and somewhat upset at myself for little things I did. I realize now it was just because I didn't understand what was up and I had yet to learn why that was.
The other thing, which I haven't discussed yet is something I've been for quite a few years, but it took until this year for me to really accept that it's who I am.
So I'm going to say it straight up.......I am bisexual.
I've always had feelings for both women and men, I'd say since just after high school. I was aware of different characteristics that attracted me emotionally to either gender, but I never really got to exercise that physically in my life until 2-3 years ago, because sex wasn't a thing I focused on for years. I only lost my virginity a couple of years ago to a lovely lady at my university, and it wasn't until around some time last year that I started to "experiment" with guys as well as girls. And now that I've dabble with both, I can say I definitely enjoy both for various reasons. I'd still say my preference is female for sure, but there's a lot for me to like about guys as well.
At this stage, I'm only coming out to the furry public at the moment, because I don't feel that I'm anywhere near ready yet to reveal it to my family or friends outside the fandom. There's a part of me that thinks my family won't be that bothered by it, but there's the other part of me that fears that they'll cast me out of their lives. Considered I've lost my dad and my grandfather, the two people I looked up to most in life, I'd rather not risk losing what's left of that right now.
One thing I will point out though, I don't want anyone to treat me any differently just because I'm coming out with this or to make a big celebratory song-and-dance about. I think all I want is to still be seen and normally just like any normal person, no special privileges or anything like that.
So next year I'm expecting to be a GREAT year!
Some of the things I'll be doing next year:
- My fursuit will be here next year! Was supposed to be this year, but the maker had some setbacks with some very understandable reasons. But they're very close to finishing it (Finished everything but the head, which they're currently working on), and I can't wait to have Jaron come to life!
- Will be attending FurDU next year. This will be my first con in three years, and this will be my first major con debut as a fursuiter! No doubt I'll be lurking around being a suave, mischievous shepsky. Also, depending on what my situation is like, I may be attending Aurawra as well. Was supposed to go this year, but that didn't happen with Sydney's huge COVID outbreak. So I might roll-over the rego I had for that and go next year if I have the free time to do so.
- Potentially continuing on with studies. For the most part, I actually enjoy university. It gives me something to do and I can put my focus onto something.
I want to say thanks to my good mates who continually checked up on me this year, making sure I was okay. Your company is what keeps me going and it's what I cherish most in this fandom.
Here's to a good 2022! Another update, same old thing XD
Posted 4 years agoThought I'd keep you lot updated on things. I'll try to keep it more brief, otherwise I'll end up writing a novel about life like usual XD
Firstly, I apologize for the continuation of the lack of content here.
I've been primarily looking after the puppy I got, which I believe I mentioned in the previous journal. It's been a very hectic first 3 months of raising a dog myself for the first time, but I'm getting the hang of it now and thankfully the puppy is calming down with his puppyness each day at a time. Most of the time he's a good boy. Btw, he's a sable German Shepherd and his name is Steele.
I also took a small hospitality course for about 4 weeks, which gained me a few certificates. So hopefully that gives me more chances on finding work when applying for jobs.
I've been slowly shading a couple of commissions, but it's been very stop-and-start because of all the things mentioned before being bigger priorities. Now that things seem like that they're easing a bit, I'm hoping I can get more work done on those commissions that have been due for over a year now.....fantastic.
I also have some art I've gotten from other artists too, just want to get some of my own art done and uploaded first before I put that up as well.
Apart from all that, things have been alright. My state has been very fortunate so far to not have any major COVID outbreaks since I moved here, hopefully stays that way. I also got my first Pfizer shot late August and will be getting my second one at the end of this month. Then I'll be fully loaded with that 5G network in my veins ;)
Weather has been pretty consistent and nice. Family has been well, been making more and more friends around the area. Had my birthday last month too which was pretty chill, just the way I like it. Big shout out to 
Pyndan and 
Roxadelic for surprising me with an awesome gift they got me. You guys are awesome!
I think that's all too be said at this point.
Hope you guys are doing well and staying safe and healthy!
~ Guru ^.^
Pyndan
RoxadelicMid 2021 Update and some Life Changing Revelations
Posted 4 years agoHeyo!
Thought I'd give an update on what's going on, as I don't I've given any kind of update since later last year.
I'm SLOWLY getting some motivation back for art, but things have been very busy and I've also found something out a few months ago that may have explained some of the issues with consistency with working on art.
First and foremost, I bought my first house early this year! I think one thing I REALLY needed was a change of scene, especially after what happened last year with COVID and also some very bad issues with the real estate I was renting under.
So I've moved from Melbourne and now I'm in Brisbane! New state and everything XD It's a big change for me, and it's the first time I've ever lived out side of Victoria state. I moved from most of my family, friends and most of what I know makes up my life, so some might wonder why I chose to do so. There's a few reasons why that is.
Main reasons being:
- Cheaper house prices. The prices in Victoria are so bad right now, you have to go at least 100km away from a major city to find a decent house that's affordable. In the city, you can barely even find an apartment for under $200k.
- More security and options for my future. I think after the Victorian government really screwed up with the COVID outbreaks last year and the citizens being stupid, rebellious and in major denial of what's going on. I can't trust that they can stabilize their situation enough from going in and out of lockdowns until at least most people have been vaccinated, which could take a year or two based on the speed we're dealing them out at the moment. They're COVID tracking is a bit borderline too and can be quite lethargic with encouraging businesses and such to check-in and follow hygiene rules. Having no security on what's happening around me causes me to stress out and lose control. I needed to be somewhere that I can be more sure that my life's not changing plans every two or three weeks. My mental health works better with a routine that I can stick to and settle on until it needs altering. Plus Queensland's system with dealing with tracking and checking in people is way superior, so I feel safer physically.
- Better weather for my health. Melbourne is very notorious in Australia for being a city that has "four seasons in a day". The temperatures are all over the place, and my body does not react well to constant, drastic changes with that. People close to me know that I do have a knack of catching colds quite regularly, and I'm sick of it to be fair.
- Just a change of scene. Sometimes all you need is a fresh start to get things going again.
So I've been getting things done for the house and been busy. I've had heaps of new furniture being put in, I'm currently having a much better fence being built, done quite a bit of re-mods to the gardens and there's still quite a bit to do with that. Also starting to construct some guitar display work in my little office. Got some wall hangers and I'm hoping to keep my guitars all off the ground so I can make some room.
I'm also looking at returning to studies, and will be re-attempting the Advanced course which I withdrew from last year. I've had some time to reflect on it, and I wanted to return when I know I can sit it in a physical class and not online. I know it sounds very picky and some might suggest to be grateful in case it was my only option. It took me last year to figure out how badly I perform on an fully online basis. You all know what I was like last year, I was a complete bloody mess. I need that in-person connection with teachers and classmates to thrive at my best, and I need something to physically attend so I've got a reason to wake up at an earlier time for. Gives me another part of that routine I need.
Also, I will be getting my first dog this weekend. I checked out a litter of German Shepherd puppies a few weeks ago, and I put a deposit on a gorgeous boy I couldn't look past. He's a sable coat too, which are my favourites. I originally was thinking of getting a husky, which is my favourite breed. But I took some good time to reflect on my current situation and what I plan to do in the next half year. One thing that stood out is the huskies generally have really bad separation anxiety, and when I return to uni I don't think it's fair to have him stress out every second day because I'm not there. They're really a dog that you really need to be at home a lot to raise up well. So I went with my next favourite, and I was raised with sheps growing up too.
I've decided to name him Steele, and I'm very much looking forward to raising this little guy. It obviously won't be easy work, but I'm willing to put in the effort and love so he can grow up to be a great dog. Might post a pic of him here too.
And I mentioned before I found out something recently. Some of you might remember in my previous journal, I said something at the end about me not knowing if it was ADHD or something that's affecting my focus on things.
Well not long after that I decided to go and see someone about that. And to my surprise (or not), turns out I do in fact have ADHD. A couple of symptoms aren't so bad (maybe I've grown through it over the years), but most of them are there. The particular ones that stood out were fidgeting and not sitting still (My mind hates that tbh, I'll end up either tapping my feet or bouncing my knees quite visibly. My body has to be doing something at least). Procrastination and concentration is another, as well as having a shorter attention span on doing things. So I struggle maintain focus with doing something for a longer period of time. It can be as bad as changing activities every 10-20 mins, particularly if it's something I haven't got a lot of interest in.
So finding this out solved a lot of questions that I've been trying to find the answers for at least the last 5 years. Particularly with my issues with consistently making art, and I found that depression and ADHD can sometimes go hand-in-hand with screwing that consistency up with me all the time.
I was given many options on how to deal with it. One of them was through medication, but that's a path I don't want to go down. I've seen with other people I know that take them, that it really can deaden emotions and makes them seem like they're living in a completely different reality.
I'm currently trying some different methods on learning to deal with it. One example is I do notice that when I am more active with going to the gym and exercising, that helps my mind stimulate and relax afterwards. That's one of the methods that I really am working more towards, plus I need to get back into shape like I was prior to 2020.
So in addition to autism and a few other conditions, you can add ADHD now to that list too XD
Anyways, hope you guys are all doing well and are safe ^.^
~ Guru
Feeling bad as an artist
Posted 4 years agoI don't know, I feel this is kind of a vent journal but I'm not going to be totally angry. Because I'll end up saying over-exaggerated stuff I don't even mean XD
I kinda feel I don't really deserve to be respected as an artist like I have been.
And don't worry, no one has said anything to me to feel this way, this is just my own self-reflection.
I don't believe I'm at all trust worthy as an artist. Not just in terms of a commissioning artist, but as an artist in general. I don't feel I have what it takes to consistently bring out material anymore. Whatever my motivation level is for doing art seems to be really up and down, and when it's down it sticks around for a lot longer. I'm not only damaging that for myself, but for others too. Particularly those who commission me and have to wait months or years at times for me to finish something.
I give up too easily when I want to try new things. I make an attempt to start, but when I get really confused on something, I just pause and I then stop everything I'm doing and probably won't do anything for the rest of the day. I try to branch out to new levels of skill, but getting that info to my head just doesn't want to happen.
For example, I've been trying to use Clip Studio instead of SAI, because most artists seem to be transitioning to Clip from SAI and I guess I felt I needed to keep up with everyone. To be honest, I find how Clip works to be really hard to get around. I've been trying to get my head around it for about 6 months, and I just can't do it. It's way more time-consuming, and I HATE wasting time on something that I end up getting so little done on. So I'm just considering moving back to SAI and sticking with what I'm comfortable. Don't know if that will help me branch out my skills much, but I'd rather not feel that I'm wasting time.
I also asked quite a few other artists about how I can improve my art skills. I got a few responses, some I did not expect to hear back from. And I thought I got what they were trying to tell me at first glance. But I tried putting words into action, that's when it fell apart. I think for me, I think I need to physically see the process of what someone's trying to show me. Whether that's in person, or sending me a video. I've realize the advice I've taken in and understood most have been through those kinds of situations, and I felt I could've been more specific back then in how I needed people to help me.
And in a general sense, it turns into a whole distaste of doing art now. I can't even muster a lot of motivation and want to do any personal stuff. After trying to do that for 30 minutes, I want to something else. I'm even starting to even not bother sketching an idea I had in my head.
I know I'm sounding like a broken record with the last few journal posts, but nothing's changed. I've only managed to finished two art pieces in about 8 months, and I don't know how the fuck I allowed that to happen to me.
So I'm now having doubts on whether I should be an artist anymore. Because I clearly don't enjoy it like I used to, and I don't really know whether I will enjoy it again in my life. Back in 2019, I thought I was getting that enjoyment back. Who knows, maybe I did, I don't really know. But I remember having ideas, and I had the motivation to stick through it. I had commissions that I enjoyed working on, I was enjoying studying Graphic Design. Even through my dad's death, my motivation didn't falter. In fact, I believe that made it stronger, because I wanted my dad to know that a very bad moment in life won't stop me, and it didn't. But somewhere along the timeline in 2020, something happened. And the issue is, I don't know. I know I was severely depressed, and I turned into someone who hated everything that I enjoyed at one point. But after the lockdowns and everything ended in Australia, I ended up going back to gym, I may have plans to start up studying again either later this year or next year. But why hasn't my enjoyment for art come back?
But what scares me if I do decide to want out with art, if that day comes, is I don't know what else I can fall on? I've looked at having careers earlier on in music and engineering. But when I got a taste of what it was like in those fields of work, I didn't want to pursue it. Mostly because of the social environments respectively. Both very different, but they both would destroy me mentally. Apart from those, art and design, I don't really have any other areas of interests that I would consider as a profession or a long-term hobby. I enjoy sport, but I've never wanted any type of career there. People think I should become a teacher (like everyone else on my mum's side of the family), but I don't do well with children socially. So there's that out the window.
Maybe a problem with me is that having an enjoyment in something will end up dying out within 5-10 years. Do I just get sick of things to easily? Could also be an issue of allowing things I enjoy to become some kind of burden, and that might be how the enjoyment in something dies out for me. I'm even worried that I lose interest in this fandom soon.
What I'm scared of is that I'll eventually run out of things to enjoy, and I'll just ending up having nothing to live for. Like I get having family and friends is important I should enjoy spending time with them, which I do. But I'm a person who also needs some kind of activity that I can invest time in and do something with it. And I want a career that I can enjoy in the long run. But I don't know if I can enjoy something long enough to make that happen.
I don't know if I'm having some sort of mid-life crisis at the moment, or if I've got something like ADHD that's majorly affecting my focus on life. But whatever it is, I don't like it and I don't know what I can do at this point to fix it.Been a while
Posted 5 years agoSo I literally just uploaded my first piece since the start of July, and I really hate the fact that it took that long to happen.
About this time last year, I was the most motivated that I think I've ever been with my art. With all the events that followed with COVID, falling out with my studies and some big issues with my mental health in general, all that motivation went away completely.
I realized that every time I've gone through a major depressive state, it's taken ages to muster the mental strength to complete one art piece. Some of you probably remember back in late 2016 and pretty much all of 2017 I was in a really shit spot. And I was a dealer at Confurgence I believe early 2017, and it took me about almost 2 years to finish that queue off. What happened prior to that, sucked the joy out of me for anything I'd usually be happy with doing, and the exact same thing happened after everything happened last year.
When it comes to art, this has been my mindset for the last 6 months:
I'd have one or multiple great ideas in my head. I'd do the rough sketched of what I had in mind, and my thought process would be, "This would make a very good piece, I think a lot of people would enjoy this too!" And sketching has always been my favourite part, just for the pure reason of it being the most creative part.
But as soon as it came to starting on the linework, colouring or whatever, I just don't want to touch it. It's like as if one moment I love art, and then the next moment I hate doing it.
I kinda think that my style and quality has been the same for the last couple of years too, and I haven't really been bothered to improve on it either. I remember last year I went around asking some artists on what I can improve on (and it's something I don't usually do, because my trust for most other artists is pretty much at 0%).
But then when it came to me even figuring out how to put that advice into my own works, my brain just shut down and I didn't want to do it and thought it was too hard to do.
I'm also trying to transition from SAI to Clip Studio. So for the piece I just did, I did the lines and the colouring in SAI, and tried doing the shading in Clip, then did the last few finishing touches on Photoshop CC. I don't know if it's necessary, but I have seen a lot of artists in the last few years switch over. But that plays on my mind as well, because my mind overthinks too much and I end up not getting much done.
So I'm not sure what to do about this all, because this is still affecting me. I really don't want this to keep happening, especially when I do still have people STILL waiting on commissions from me since at least May last year. I'm trying to work on personal stuff to help with motivation, but that's still really hard for me to muster up with mental strength to work past the sketching stage. I just don't know what to do right now.
About this time last year, I was the most motivated that I think I've ever been with my art. With all the events that followed with COVID, falling out with my studies and some big issues with my mental health in general, all that motivation went away completely.
I realized that every time I've gone through a major depressive state, it's taken ages to muster the mental strength to complete one art piece. Some of you probably remember back in late 2016 and pretty much all of 2017 I was in a really shit spot. And I was a dealer at Confurgence I believe early 2017, and it took me about almost 2 years to finish that queue off. What happened prior to that, sucked the joy out of me for anything I'd usually be happy with doing, and the exact same thing happened after everything happened last year.
When it comes to art, this has been my mindset for the last 6 months:
I'd have one or multiple great ideas in my head. I'd do the rough sketched of what I had in mind, and my thought process would be, "This would make a very good piece, I think a lot of people would enjoy this too!" And sketching has always been my favourite part, just for the pure reason of it being the most creative part.
But as soon as it came to starting on the linework, colouring or whatever, I just don't want to touch it. It's like as if one moment I love art, and then the next moment I hate doing it.
I kinda think that my style and quality has been the same for the last couple of years too, and I haven't really been bothered to improve on it either. I remember last year I went around asking some artists on what I can improve on (and it's something I don't usually do, because my trust for most other artists is pretty much at 0%).
But then when it came to me even figuring out how to put that advice into my own works, my brain just shut down and I didn't want to do it and thought it was too hard to do.
I'm also trying to transition from SAI to Clip Studio. So for the piece I just did, I did the lines and the colouring in SAI, and tried doing the shading in Clip, then did the last few finishing touches on Photoshop CC. I don't know if it's necessary, but I have seen a lot of artists in the last few years switch over. But that plays on my mind as well, because my mind overthinks too much and I end up not getting much done.
So I'm not sure what to do about this all, because this is still affecting me. I really don't want this to keep happening, especially when I do still have people STILL waiting on commissions from me since at least May last year. I'm trying to work on personal stuff to help with motivation, but that's still really hard for me to muster up with mental strength to work past the sketching stage. I just don't know what to do right now.
For my American friends
Posted 5 years agoI feel like this year I've been talking quite politically at times and I hate doing it because I hate talking about it, and at times can cause me to unintentionally vent.
But I actually want to offer some encouraging words to all you Yanks out there.
I understand that there is a mix of people who voted either Trump or Biden. And which ever leader you voted for, I think you should have the right to feel positive about that. You have the right to vote for who you want and to not be berated and lectured for who you voted for, because that's the way democracy should be. I think either way, people should be respectful for who others voted for. If people are hurling abuse at you because of who you voted for, then that's fascism and it's not right.
My message is, whoever wins out of Trump or Biden, you must unite as a country and work together. I think you need to put all that shit aside about who you know is a Democrat or Republican, left or right wing, liberal or conservative, etc. It can't be this game of "you're either with us or against us" anymore. It's gonna end up creating some kind of civil war. You guys have to work together to find a middle ground, and whatever you think is something that needs fixing as a collective community, approach your local leaders about them so it can lead to those questions finding higher power.
Don't write either candidate off from doing anything good before they've even tried either. Give them the chance they deserve to rectify and learn. And you have to remember, they're not going to be able to fulfil every promise. Things need approval from senates and such, and things come up suddenly and get in the way at times too. At the end of the day, they want to help improve your country as much as they can.
One example I'm liking at the moment is what Ice Cube is doing. He is willing to work with whoever is in power, whether it be Trump or Biden, to help solve problems currently affecting certain communities and demographics. He could've easily said to Trump in particular to go screw himself. Because I'm going to assume, knowing his history of political and social opinions, that he's wouldn't be on the conservative side of things. But he's actually deciding to put what feelings he might have aside, and do the sensible thing and give whoever it is a chance to work with him to rectify the issues in question.
Be like Ice Cube guys, you'll be a healthier country when you start to work together. See others by their character, not their political views or identity. Start to build up some trust in your communities and make them strong instead of broken. Start becoming the examples your neighbours need to look up to.
Don't give up hope, because it's always there.
Withdrawing from my design course....
Posted 5 years agoHey guys
As the title reads, I've decided to take myself out of the course I'd been studying, which I started in July. This decision was also recommended by a few peers as well as my coordinators, as I had been discussing things with them for a few weeks and they tried seeing if they could make this situation better for me, but it unfortunately didn't change much in the end.
So I had been doing the Advanced Diploma in Graphic Design. I had some issues coming into last semester with the previous course I had course, mostly affecting my mental health. I wasn't sure whether I should continue onto the next course, because at that time I didn't know whether I would attend those classes on-campus or if it would remain online, because in the state I live in the numbers were starting to rise again (which ended up turning into a massive second wave). The leading coordinator and teacher from the previous course kind of rushed me to make a decision, and I took the chance. I had this feeling that I shouldn't have, but I did anyway. And in the end I made the wrong decision for me. There were a mixture of issues that I was having in relation to the course, which was taking a toll on my mental health 10 times as bad as what I had been in the previous course earlier this year. My class was basically made up of cliquey, stuck-up individuals who wouldn't help me out when I needed it, and they wouldn't give me any feedback when I was presenting any work. If I had group assignment where we had to research, I'd be the only one making an effort and organizing things. A couple of my teachers I felt weren't really wanting to help me either.
It lead to me just hating the course altogether, and hated studying graphic design. I wasn't happy with anything I would come up with, I had no creative drive and whatever I did come up with was generic. Even thinking about work had me that depressed and anxious that my mind literally refused me to work on any assignments, I just didn't want anything to do it. I was a mess. The part in all this that was the icing on the cake with this decision is that it was largely affecting my life outside. I didn't want to work on any artwork and caused the major delaying of the commissions currently on my queue, and I don't think I've posted any new art since May, which I feel really horrible for particularly to the people who've been waiting on their art for so long. I barely touched my guitars, I was very quiet around my friends and family, I didn't feel like talking to people. I've been starting to get constant headaches too. It just put my mental health in a complete mess, and obviously everything going on with the whole COVID thing isn't exactly helping. Haven't seen my family since February, so that's also been a pain.
After talking with the coordinator for this course, and a couple of friends and fam, it's come to a conclusion that taking care of myself should be my main priority, and I feel that is the right decision. I still got my first Diploma in Graphic Design back in June, so I'm not walking away empty-handed after 2 years. It was an easy decision, but I don't think this is a decision I will regret, because I need this weight off my shoulders for me to slowly gain some enjoyment and motivation in my life.
At this point I don't know if I want to continue my career path to become a graphic designer. I think right now, I just need a break to recollect myself and to rehabilitate mentally and spiritually. Also, I will be buying my first home next year, and there's a big possibility that I might be moving to a different state to do so, so I think I need some time as well to figure things out for that and to prepare myself. I think after I sort all that out is when I will think about what I'm doing in terms of career choices.
Art wise, I know I've got some commissions still to do and I hate them being so delayed as it is, but I'm going to work on some personal projects first to try and give myself that passion and motivation back. It worked when I had that 2-3 year period where I REALLY struggled to do artwork. For those who have been patient so far with me, I thank you for that. I hope you can understand my reasons for delaying things a little further. Some of the projects I'm looking at working on are sketch ideas I've held onto for a few years and thought they could be really cool concepts. I think it's about time some of those ideas can come to fruition. I got some new ones as well obviously, but we'll see what's in store. I'm also going to attempt to strengthen the quality of my artwork, as I feel my process has been the same thing for the last few years. I want to get better with shading, I want to get better with backgrounds, I just want to get better in general.
So in the next few months, you should start to see more and more stuff from me. If this doesn't happen, then something might be still very wrong. But for now, I'm going stick to remaining hopeful.
Hope you're all coping well during the hard times.
~ GuruTMI Saturday
Posted 5 years agoHaven't done one of these for quite some time honestly. Ask away!People wanting to cancel feral art....
Posted 5 years agoSo, I’ve been noticing these last few days some growing concerns about a community/area of furry art/artists/fans, who are slowly becoming under attack in the latest trend of cancel culture within this fandom.
And that is the feral art community.
The fact that THIS community is under threat is just sad and it’s stupid. Feral art from what I’ve seen, I’d estimate it makes up somewhere between 30-40% of the art produced, whether it’s clean or adult-rated works. And I’d say that the majority of the people in this fandom at least follow those particular themes of furry art. I’d even argue that most the fandom FOUND the fandom through feral artwork one way or another, whether that be from furry art found on random or that they grew up on watching content as a child on feral-form characters from particular franchises they had followed (eg, Balto, Ginga, Animals of Farthing Wood). Not saying that it’s the only main core of the fandom, I think there are many major cores and origins. But that’s how I found the fandom, and I know many others who found it in similar fashion.
A big reason people have mentioned on wanting feral porn to be cancelled, is because they believe it normalizes IRL sexual activity with animals (aka. zoophilia) and other related issues. And they believe that those who do like that theme of art, should be automatically put under the assumption that they are zoophiles and animal abusers.
I obviously speak for myself here, and I assume and hope that I’m speaking on behalf of more or less than within 95-99% of feral art followers/artists when I say, we strongly stand against people having sex with any animal. Now I’d be lying if I said that there aren’t people in this fandom who say otherwise and are involved in such criminal acts, because they do exist. It’s disgusting and it puts a bad name on us feral art fans. The number of those people though is basically microscopic compared to the people who have the logical sense to not do it and know that it’s not right in the real world.
I don’t know about you guys, but I believe that in this fandom, people have their art kinks and they have their real kinks. I believe that they’re both separate from each other, and I’d assume pretty much everyone would have similar mentality when it comes to their kinks.
For instance, with myself, there are kinks I enjoy that I only get out of furry artwork. I really enjoy drawing and viewing themes such as size-difference, cheating and incest. But I either don’t have any interest or am not at all in favour of those things happening in reality. Particularly the last two, because they're logically wrong and very low in human standards. The only kink that I have that I'd say is shared in both furry and real life is paws/feet.
I’m feet boi of the real world, so come at me.
But one theme that some people question me about at times, and one I’ve drawn more regularly in recently, would be the anthro and feral pairings in adult artwork that I do (and follow). People do see that as bestiality, because stating the obvious here, anthropomorphic characters are animals who have physical, humanistic features, and I completely understand the points some people are trying to make. But I still see them as animals despite the traits, so I personally don’t see that as bestiality. When it comes to actual zoophilia/bestiality themes (human and feral pairings) in artwork, I can’t bring myself to get into that. To me it’s not the same, and I do find it personally a little awkward when it comes up for many reasons. It’s not the only kink I feel that way about. I also feel awkward with other kinks like gore and vore, inflation, watersports and scat, over-the-top obesity. There’s many of them. But those who do like it, power to you as far as I’m concerned and I’m not going to shame anyone out for that. Everyone has kinks that they do and don’t like, as long as it’s not doing themselves or anyone else harm or if it’s influencing them to think and do horrible things.
Either way, whether I’d get into one or both as a furry art kink, I wouldn’t even dare consider believing that those actions are in any way okay to commit in real life. Particularly when it comes to pets, I see them as like I would see a child. Because we take care of them, feed them, take them to see the doctors (vet) when they’re sick, providing them with a roof over their heads. The essentials are almost identical to how we would be like when taking care of the kids we bring into the world, because they depend on us to live a good life. They’re part of the family. Anyone who rapes their pets (or anyone else’s pet too), I’d have no problems with saying to their face that they’re as bad as child rapists. It’s disgusting and I cannot be any more blunt about it. It leaves mental scars, and it can take away their trust for humans, and I don’t want to see an animal ever be done up like that.
In furry-fantasy, imagination art world, any character of any shape or size, anthro or feral (or even human in some cases as mentioned before) are portrayed in displaying as much maturity, intelligence, speech and consent among other characteristics, as each other. If anyone didn’t, I would question your motives a little (without going too much into making assumptions at least).
It would take someone not only sick and twisted, but also an absolute dumbass cunt, for someone to not have the logical sense and knowledge that animals can’t consent in real life, and they obviously can’t contain the mental capacity to separate furry-fantasy, imagination art world and reality from each other.
If any of you have or ever start to gain serious thoughts of doing so, please seek help before it comes to fruition. You know it's not right, so please do what you can to better yourself.
The latter is also the same problem (from a different point-of-view) for the ones trying to cancel feral art too. They can’t differ one from the other when it comes to judgements on anyone in the feral community. They think too much about it and give no logical thought on it whatsoever. They must include all the complex if’s and but’s, creating illogical solutions. All of that just to get on some witch-hunting bandwagon. It’s like some of those people believe that it gives them brownie points for cancelling someone. They’re that desperate that they’ll just pick out anything and make it out like it’s some kind of pandemic with the furry community.
If people in the fandom are really serious about trying to cull feral art, and the people who either draw and/or commission feral works, or even if they have feral porn in their favourites collection, then that’s throwing away half of the people in this fandom out the window, at the expense of your idea of having some prim-and-proper, safe utopia fandom of controlling, totalitarian idiocy.
People are now more and more, slowly being led to believe that feral art is in that same level of atrociousness as rape and cub themed art, and I think that’s been blown way out of proportion. They are nowhere near in comparison to each other.
And the worst thing about this, is there are a lot of gullible and easily misled people in this fandom, they believe anything that’s being said off the get-go about this. They don’t get told to do their research on it to gain opinions for themselves either. These PC people know it works on them, and this mentality spreads like wildfire.
If I had to be completely honest right now, I’d be lying if I said there wasn't any concern for the state of this fandom right now. I’ve already seen within the last 24-48 hours, numerous artists I follow, who’ve drawn feral art (whether it be NSFW or SFW), drop it completely like a bad habit. And I’m assuming it’s because of two reasons. One, they been persuaded by many of these PC, cancel-culture followers to stop it and they feed them with content and reasons that’s been over-exaggerated. At the end of the day though, whatever the reason for them actually is, I will respect their decision. I’m not going to stop following them because they don’t do feral art anymore. If they’re an artist who I think is good at what they do, whether they draw anthro, feral or both. I will continue support that talent with the respect they deserve from one artist to another.
The other reason I’m seeing right now is that they’re scared of being cancelled. They’re scared of losing the reputation of being a trusted artist and losing their well-earnt business, and they’ve packed away or deleted an art form they excel that, so that people don’t identify them as a ‘bad person’. I can understand to a point why some feel that way and it’s crushing to see that. But I think giving into these people and having no self-esteem to stand up for what they want to draw, and they allow other people to dictate them and make that choice for them, is wrong.
The fandom is not much at all like what it was when I first became a furry. I don't see it as a inclusive and fun environment. It’s now been controlled and directed by people who are influence by over-the-top political correctness and complete lunacy, and it’s a shame. I can only hope that bigger figures of this fandom and people who run places like FurAffinity can continue to hold firm and not let others dictate and control their decisions. And I hope that other artists that draw feral art can keep strong and continue to produce the awesome content they’ve been producing. If it ever ends up being that feral art is banned completely in the fandom, which I doubt it at this point that it will happen any time soon. But if by any chance it ever gets to that stage, then I’ve honestly lost my love completely for this fandom, and I’m probably going to dissociate myself as a part of it. If I can’t produce things of what brought me into this fandom in the first place, then I’m done. Either that or I take my business where I don’t really prefer to take my business to, like Inkbunny or SoFurry (and there can be some messed up content produced on those sites). It’s not ideal for me, but if I want to continue my business in the fandom if it comes to it, then I might not have many better options. My type of content won’t be changing either, no matter what site I’m on.
I’ve always strived to not be a sheep who blindly follow fools. I make my own decisions for myself, I’m 25 years old and I don’t need anyone making my choices for me. I will not be pushed around and peer pressured to do things that aren’t necessary. I spent too much of my youth growing up being told that standing up for myself against bullies and such comes with punishment and a price, to put up with that now. I urge all of you to do the same and keep strong for whatever it is you like. If you haven't done anything wrong, do not dare apologise. You owe it to yourself and your self-esteem as an individual.
For now, I’m going to continue doing what I normally do. Until I can’t post anything on here anymore, nothing will change here. If by chance you don’t like the fact that I draw feral art, it’s your choice whether you want to keep following me or not. It’ll be no loss of value if you don’t decide to continue following my works. I’ve said this many times, and I'll sound like a broken record, but I never took up art to gain popularity or to be a “popufur”, or to showboat my art skills or to please others in the furry fandom. I draw these things because it’s what I enjoy doing, and I won’t stop until the enjoyment for whatever has taken its full course or if my hands get cut off. If continuing to involve feral character in artwork makes me lose followers, it will not stop me. Even if I had to start from zero again, I will keep doing what I love to do, numbers do not influence me. For those who have followed me so far for these last 7-8 years and continue to do so regardless of the content I provide, you are greatly appreciated, and I love you.
I’m just sad that this portion of the fandom right now is being targeted.
Personal Update-More Delays (vent warning)
Posted 5 years agoHey everyone
Thought I'd give a heads up again on what's going on
Be warned, there's going to be some venting of feelings ahead, so look out.
I know I was supposed to finish off the rest of my queue after I finished my course in late June. But the last few months have been that stressful with everything going on, it's put me off doing a lot of things I usually enjoy. I've found myself having no motivation in doing much things. And I have no other excuse for no completed commission work apart from having no motivation. I'll be straight up and honest guys.
I almost opted to quit my Graphic Design course at uni as well (even if I was that close to finishing). I struggle to do school work from home, and I wasn't getting a lot of help from teachers, and I certainly wasn't getting help from other students (particularly some I thought I was good friends with). Most of them became completely silent. I understand everyone is going through some shit right now, but you can at least attempt something, don't ignore people.
I struggle to do a lot of things when I don't have a reason to leave the house. I've honestly became lazy again and uninterested in being active, which is a place I have not been at for a few years. I've put on half of what I lost when I was at the gym. I can't go anywhere because people are stupid and have put my city into complete lockdown when COVID went rampant.
Also backed away from social media and the general furry fandom as a whole. With everything becoming overly political and such, I'm sick of seeing all this retarded hatred towards each other and I'm disgusted with various arguments and views. Whether it's to do with the whole George Floyd/Black Lives Matters movement, or the pandemic views and where it came from or if it's real or not, it's all makes you lose your brain cells trying to take it all in.
So I'm going to vent now about this once, and I won't be doing this again because I'm not a heavily political person. I usually try to stay away from that because people become ugly through it. But I need to get this off my chest somewhere. Also if anyone gets offended by any of the following opinions, I'm sorry that my honesty has offended you. But I'm going to say these things, and I'm not going to back down from what I'll say, because that will be dishonest to myself. And I think I'll feel better letting this all out, whether it's necessary or not.
Firstly, you have the left wing protesting and rioting, not giving two shits about social distancing whatsoever and with no regard of being in a worldwide pandemic. Don't get me wrong, I understand the reason why people are mad and I understand and agree to most points why people are protesting (rioting though I don't agree with at all, it's fucking mental). But the timing of this was not right, and helped COVID spruce up to ridiculous daily case numbers. And I've seen videos of protesters on YouTube saying that, "it's worth risking our lives for at this time". You're damn right it's risked lives, you've practically saw to making the virus go to an uncontrollable level at one stage. Note that this virus has killed over 35,000 black people so far in 6 months, whereas the number of the same demographic killed by police is only within the hundreds within the last year. Wait until the virus is at least gone, otherwise there's going to be no black lives left to protest for. They'll be all dead from COVID, because everyone's parading down the streets.
It happened in Australia too. They weren't the original cases linked to our second wave, but they certainly helped amplify the numbers. Because of this amongst other issues, I'm now in Stage 4 lockdown.
And then we have the right winger fanatics and Karens, also not giving two shits about social distancing and have no regard of being in a pandemic. In fact, they don't believe that there is a pandemic at all. Or that this is some conspiracy theory going on and that China or whoever it is are causing biochemical warfare. And that wearing masks is "abusing their human rights" or "the carbon dioxide we breathe in is affecting us". Then they decide to walk out and they do those marches for freedom and walk around their neighbourhoods, believing nothing in life has changed. Nek minut, you have cornholio screwing up your lungs and spreading to your families. And then you believe that it exists once it's too late. Those guys are also a reason why I'm in Stage 4 lockdown right now. Can't see my family, and I'm dealing with a depressed best friend who I live with. Having to make sure he's in good enough shape, while dealing with my own mental health.
Lastly! In Australia, we have these three, plastic Barbie-looking bitches travel from Queensland to Victoria I believe (when unnecessary interstate travel was, and still is, banned), just so they could shoplift random stuff, after they had contracted COVID. Which helped caused more cases here. How retarded can someone be???
FUCKING WAKE UP PEOPLE!
We have to be logical about this, COVID is killing people. It might not so much affect us younger people, but it's killing our parrents, our grandparents and those with health problems. It's also keeping all of us who are actually doing the right thing, working towards being able to be with friends and family, go to work/school, the gym, etc. They're all working towards getting to a better situation, where as all these guys parading the streets are keeping us back and getting us nowehere. Gotta keep wearing your masks, practice social distancing, go out for essentials. You might not agree with this kind of lifestyle, I'm still getting used to this myself. But the least you can do is help us all get to a better situation. The sooner we all learn to work together and focus on the main issue, the quicker we'll all be out of these restrictions by the time the vaccines come. Then you can go out a parade the streets as much as you want.
Also if there's one thing I've learnt about being int his situation, is you really find out who your real friends are. You noticed the people who still make an effort to talk to you and do things for you despite everything going on, and they show that they want to be there for you and support. Unfortunately there are also some people I've noticed who have done a full 180 turn and have shown their true colours. They've turned nasty and downright selfish, and they display self-pity and think that their problems are the only problems that deserve to be seen as problems, and that everyone else needs to get over their shit. I understand we're all going through some stuff right now, but seriously??? Fuck off mate! When this is over, I bet they'll be sitting there and wondering all of a sudden why their friends aren't talking to them. Well I wonder why....
That's all I need to say about that, so back to other updates.
So I mentioned before I completed my course. So now I'm a certified graphic-designer, yay! But now I'm doing the Advanced Diploma, which only goes for 6 months. But this will further cause delays on current commissions I have, and I hate having to drag the working time on these out so long as it is. Once I've finished this course though, I'll be completely done. I could go an do Bachelor's, which I'd only have a year to do with all the prerequisite courses I've already done. But I'm also looking at buying my first home. With needing to put a deposit on it and such, I'd probably be needing to have a job so I can secure a deposit. Hopefully I can get something with the design field, but I'll be looking into that more once I get to December. And I should hopefully be in a better mental state by then, and motivation will be more present at that stage.
Also had my birthday a few weeks back. Was pretty chill, and finally had reason to not go out for my birthday. I honestly don't like celebrating my birthday, I think after 21 it becomes pretty meaningless. Much prefer Christmas, at least there's things to actually celebrate and things to be grateful for.
For now, I guess I gotta take this all in day by day, and see where I go from here.
Be good guys, keep safe and don't do stupid shit like all the various groups of people I mentioned before.
~ Guru
Idea - The Artist Spotlight: Log Series
Posted 5 years agoI have an idea in mind that I wanted to pitch to you guys, and I want to get some feedback (and potentially some recommendations as well).
I think in a world that's going through some rough times, positivity seems to be a thing that a lot of people lack right now, and this community in particular seems to have a lot more negativity within it for many reasons. I wanted to do something that could make this a little better, and have something nice to read in our feed.
So, on a rarer occasion you might see someone do a shoutout for a particular creator that they like, who hasn't got their name out there but has great amount of talent and/or great potential.
The idea I had was to create a series of logs about artists that don't have a large following, and hopefully get their names out there a little more. This wouldn't be restricted to just illustrators either, it can be animators, fursuit makers, musicians, etc. Anyone that has some kind of creative talent really. I also want to showcase some artists that may have a bigger following, but deserve the love for the art and also how professional they are in terms of business and customer service.
My plan is I'll showcase different artists that more unknown, and every 4-5 posts I'll do one for a particular artist I enjoy (bigger or intermediate).
I'm not sure whether I should do these daily, every couple of days, once or twice a week. How much do you think I should post?
My main reasons for doing this are:
- Give talented, smaller artists a better chance, and some bigger artists that do deserve some love as well
- To hopefully inspire some others to do the same, I'm not wanting this to be something that I only do. If others help out in spreading the word about smaller artists that deserve the praise, it's even more helpful.
- To spread positivity during the Cornholio virus.
I'm not really a person that really judges what my place is in this fandom because of my followers number, or what I do. But if I was to use it for anything, I want to use it for a good purpose, and I've always been someone that wants to help people out. Also, I don't know if it's just me, but I don't see a lot of bigger artists helping out the smaller ones anymore. 10 years ago, you'd see a fair bit of that going on. But now, as I said before, it's a rarity to see that kind of thing happen. I'm not the biggest artist myself, by a long shot. But I think I'm in at least a position where I can make a positive difference for someone else during some darker times.
One last thing I'm still thinking over, is where I should post these. I'm definitely doing them here, but I'm not sure whether I should also post these shoutouts on somewhere like Twitter. I understand many of you know that I'm not a big fan of Twitter, because it attracts the leeches of our fandom. But for similar reasons to why I'm doing these in the first place, I want to try and make things a little more positive.
So what do you guys think, is this an idea that you think could go somewhere?
Also, if you do, is there any artists YOU think I should put a good word in for? I have a fair few artists listed down, but eventually I'm going to run out and considering I'm back at uni next month, time might not be favourable for me to find more artists. So I might need some help with finding some more talent.
Either way, let me know what you think ^.^
Have a crackin' day guys!
~GuruDelays
Posted 5 years agoHey everyone!
I wanted to make post to apologize (particularly to those currently awaiting commissions from me) for any delays with my artwork. I'm currently under a lot of stress with a few things right now. I'm getting through the last few weeks of my final semester for my studies (and having to do all of that from home is no help), and there's a few IRL things that are a bit troubling as well.
Please don't think I've forgotten about any of you, I just haven't had the time to work on them, which is really my fault for thinking I did have the time in the first place. Once the studies at least have ended, I will be right on to completing the rest of the queue, you have my promise on that.
~GuruMy content on Twitter and general popularity
Posted 5 years agoDo you guys think it's a disadvantage not having any of my content or future content on Twitter?
I've had a few people ask me about this on why I've never done it, and honestly I don't know how to answer it in short form.
Fur Affinity has always been my main place to showcase my material and my only place to advertise commission openings as well, and it always will be. It seems like though a lot of artists are now more active on Twitter and seem to be getting more better business through there.
There's also many who run works through Patreon, but I've tried that already and nobody seemed to be interested + even if I did have patrons, I was never active enough to make the posts monthly to receive the funds anyway. With my IRL priorities, that was always going to be a struggle.
Also with my fursuit coming next year, people have asked if I'm making a separate Twitter page for him or just showcasing him on my personal page.
I do have early-stage plans for a YouTube project for Jaron, and probably at this stage will be the main social media page for him. Plus I want to wear him at conventions as well. But obviously Twitter is where it's at, by a long shot at that, when it comes to fursuit content.
My issue is with Twitter, I've never liked the place. I have an account and make occasional retweets of things I like, but I really don't like the place. There have been many times where I've considered deleting it, but the only thing that keeps me on there is to keep in touch with a few people who I can only contact through twitter.
Overall though, I find that it's a very negative place for most of the time and it's a place where negativity is easily spread and influenced. There's constant, petty arguments over the littlest things, as well as people making inaccurate and/or false accusations towards one another without any ounce of evidence to back them up. And on a more political matter, there are so many people of the furry community on Twitter who display nonconstructive criticism and vulgar opinions (again over the smallest, pettiest things) from the view of both the radical left-wing and the radical right-wing, who share no desire to be civil and come to a middle ground. Some people who have large followings within the fandom on Twitter, who use it to direct unnecessary witch hunts on someone who they don't agree with on anything. And there are some who hate people with large followings because apparently success from creating art and content what they love is not a good thing (aka, tall-poppy syndrome). Furry drama, particularly from Twitter, is what is really making the fandom a bit more of a darker place to be in, and it's spreading outside of Twitter too (like the Cornholio).
I guess with me, I've always seen popularity in itself as a kind of fickle thing. That's never ever been a goal I've wanted to obtain through anything I do. If there's one thing I've learnt over time being in this fandom, is that some people can become scared of those with popularity and some can become spiteful of those with popularity, because they are seen as people amongst the masses as more important than most people. But as well, popularity has turned some people I've known from a while back, to walk towards two specific directions. One direction, they've turned from being natural and real, into being either egotistic, selfish, arrogant and/or attention-seeking cunts. And for some I don't say that lightly. A lot of these people not only sell out their material but they sell out their personality.
The other direction, is that it drives people to hiding in a corner. And unfortunately it happens to a lot of the people who still try to keep it real whilst having a larger following. The pressure and the tall-poppy syndrome from others drives some of these people away from being creative and it's horrible thing.
To those who have kept it real and have been strong in not letting anything sway your motivation and love for what you do, I have heaps of love and respect for you.
I don't EVER want to be been in a negative light because of a number or status. I never want people to be afraid of me, or to see me as someone who is more important than others because I draw or anything otherwise. Yes I showcase art here because I want to show people what I can do and to create a good business, and the latter means contending with thousands of other in my position doing the same thing. But in more ways than not, I do this because want people to be able to enjoy the artwork for what it is and use it as an escape from the real world and it's troubles. And when my fursuit comes, I want to use it for the same purposes, to make people happy and to relieve them, even for a moment, from their daily struggles. I want to use what I can do for good, and to put them on platform that I trust that are mostly positive. I don't want to release my content on any kind of place that can easily twist it to be seen as something it's not. Which is why the places I post my work are only so few now.
I see Twitter as one of those places, but I'm having second thoughts. I don't know if I'm missing out on an opportunity for not only business growth, but to give a relief of life's worries for some people who need it. If there is way to do that and to not allow negativity from having affect on my content and others who seek good out of it, I would do it in a heart beat. But I don't know how I can negate that, because I don't (and shouldn't) have power to make a perfect and controlled environment. Because nothing is ever perfect. Even for my fursuiting in the future (particularly this, because I know how fursuit channels can shoot up straight away in popularity), I feel there is big risk for things to change in a not so good way if I allowed that kind of content on that platform.
Understand this though. I will never change to cause myself to be seen as cool and popular or to fit a trend. With whatever content I release, I will not sell out and go against the morals of what I do these things for. I want to be seen as someone who no more important than anybody else, because I'm actually not. I'm just normal, real human being. If anything, just I want be seen as someone who strives to spread nothing but positivity in what I do, and to makes everyone else's day a little bit better.
~ Guru
Six Fanarts Ideas?
Posted 5 years agoThinking of doing the Six Fanarts challenge.
Y'all got any recommendations for some characters I can do?Commissions Open!
Posted 5 years agoNow that I'm home while uni is closed and online only, I have some time to work on some art.
I understand that some may not have the funds, due to what Cornholio virus has provided us. But if anyone is interested, feel free to send me a note or contact me via Telegram (@gangstaguru)
Price Sheet - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/30729752/
Look further below the image for additional rates that aren't featured on it
Terms of Service
Also, here's a F-list of the things I basically like to draw, and the things I don't.
https://www.f-list.net/c/gangstaguru%20artwork
SLOTS
1. alphanemesis93
2. 
Bundadingy
3. 
3stooges
4. 
SLN445
5. Husky1980 1/3
6. Husky1980 2/3
7. Husky1980 3/3
8. 
Vella
9.
10.
Bundadingy
3stooges
SLN445
VellaCoronavirus/Personal Situation
Posted 5 years agoHey guys!
I realize most of you are probably sick of hearing about this global buggery we all know as COVID-19, more commonly known as Coronavirus, or as I like to call it Vic Bitter Virus or the Cornholio virus.
I firstly just wanted let you guys know the less important part of this journal.
I am currently alive and well. I'm basically staying at home though, because school is suspended until further notice, and all other places of leisure I would usually go to are now closed. And I think it won't be long until we're all under house arrest *BLAGHC....ahem* I mean lockdown. I still have to do my assignments and read my lectures from home, which will be a mental pain in the ass. But I have no other choice right now, but to put up with that. I'm slowly stocking up on food incase we do get locked down, but I'm not going crazy at the stores like everyone else. I already have heaps of TP for my bunghole and other necessities, so I should be fine for the time being.
The more important part of this journal (for me at least), is to express to you guys that we all need to be cautious, yet remain calm and collected about the Cornholio. Don't go stupid at the shops, the pharmacy, or any place you feel you need any necessities from. PLEASE be respectful of those who are working there. Don't be a feral by going and demanding shit from them like they're your goodie slave. You should be grateful that they're still putting themselves out there to work, risking their health so you guys are able to buy these things.
Also, I'd like to give a little reverse psychology here. An idea, is to loosely expect to contract the Cornholio. I'm not saying to act all defeatist and think all is lost, that's not the point I'm making. This I feel is a better method to prepare yourself, more so mentally than physically, about what to do if you at least come up with the symptoms. Because it's in the mind where many are struggling to deal with right now. Make sure you know what to do if you strongly display symptoms, go to the docs or the hospital and get a test done. Take those necessary steps with maturity and composition.
And most importantly, if you do get infected, don't think you're only option is that you will die. The recovery rate STRONGLY outweighs those who have passed, and I really like the odds here. Most of those cases sadly have been older folks, or people who have weaker immunity systems from things like existing health issues or pregnancy. Btw, If you do have any issues with your health that may amplify the virus or you're a greymuzzle, please do take particular care of yourselves.
And just be good to each other guys. Again don't be ferals, remain calm and composed, don't spastic spend at the shops. This ain't the zombie apocalypse. It's just our good old mate, Cornholio ^.^ Just keep in touch with your family and friends, don't distance yourself too much. If you do get told to isolate, be sure to find something that you can occupy yourself with. You can binge watch some shows, anime, Disney+. You can play some board games, video games, sexy games. Play some guitar, or other instruments if you have any of that at home, or sing. Draw some doggos or whatever if you like to do art, watch some art streams, watch some art tutorials if you want to learn how to draw. Learn how to cook things, learn some new general skills. Or you can be useful around the house and do some dish washing, vacuum the house, sweep your yard, clean out the shitter. There's always something at home that you can do.
So yeah, we're going be all ok ^.^
In lighter news, I'd like to announce that your good boi Jaron will be coming to life, thanks to the lovely folks at 
fursuiting/Fursuits by Lacy.
That's right, I'm getting a fursuit!
It's been a dream since first discovering the fandom and watching all these con videos on Youtube, to have one of my characters I've created become real. I reckon I've been saving for about a good 6-7 years worth for me to get this to happen.
More than likely, he'll be arriving sometime early next year. I don't know the exact details just yet, but I'll alert you guys when the time gets closer to him getting here.
Either way if he comes earlier or later, I don't mind. I'm just excited that it's finally happening. And he'll be debuting at either FurDU 2021......or FWA 2021! They both run around the same time, so I'm still deciding whether to choose my home con or my first overseas con. Which one do you guys think would be a better intro for the big boy to make his mark?
Stay safe cobbers!
~Guru
fursuitingHow do y'all find a date
Posted 5 years agoA very weird title for a journal, but hear me out.
Lately I've slowly becoming interested in dating again, and preferably within the fandom and within my country (not sure if I can do long distance)
But the big question is, I have no idea how to find someone, or what to kinda do :/ And that in itself is probably a big red alert signal to most.
I haven't dated in 10 years, just after my 15th birthday when I broke up with my previous partner. And on top of that, I never asked her out in the first place. She actually asked me out. So I have no experience in actually asking someone.
Throughout all my life, I've really struggled to talk to any female, let alone new people in general. I just become very afraid when it comes to talking with them. I really don't know why, but I just do. Only made about 2-3 friends at school who were girls, and I only still talk to about that many. Rest of them are all male.
So as you can tell, I'm very socially awkward. One big fear I have, being someone's who's never dated in my adult years, is not knowing what to do on a date. I don't know what to say to them, I don't know what would be a good place to go, etc.
In general, I have no social life at all, I don't go out much. The three places I'm usually at is university, gym and home. That's pretty much it.
The hardest thing is, where do I start? I know most of you would say, "go to your local fur meets!". My history when it comes to local meets in Melbourne isn't that great when I tried it. I didn't really have anyone come and talk to me, I kinda just was left out of everyone's little social circles. So my trust in furs in my hometown/country hasn't been that existent for the most part. Even when I was at the bigger cons, I would keep to the people I already knew, and closeted myself from new people. I honestly felt quote alone at times.
So I'm ruling that option out, I'd rather not go through that again.
"Try any dating sites?"
Honestly I've had thoughts, but half of them seem to be quite scammy, particularly the furry dating sites.
That's the two most common options out the window. What other options are there?
I just don't know how to go about this kind of thing. How did you all find someone?
I have no dating skills, I have no sex experience, I really don't have much to offer at all.
If anyone wants to message me at all about this, you can either note me on here or message me on Telegram (@gangstaguru).
Away from 25/1 - 16/2
Posted 6 years agoHey everyone!
Just giving you all a heads up, that I will be away from tomorrow until the 16th of next month. I'm taking a trip to the Cook Islands, which will be awesome.
Being at the Cooks though, I won't have much availability to internet at all. So if anyone tries contacting me and I don't answer back, that will be the reason why.
For those waiting on commissions from me, I will be working on them, and probably will have them done while I'm at the Cooks. But because of the internet issue, may not be able to get back to you and show you until I get back.
I promise though, I WILL be working on them.
See you guys in three weeks!
~ Guru