I'm going to try my hand at making a partial because doing it myself will be cheaper and a way for me to spend time since I'm stuck at home 24/7.
First, I'm going to make a little doll first because I like to slowly work my way up to something big since I tend to give up halfway through something and that's why I know no finished art in my gallery ahhh ///high fives self.
I would love to have one made my Faruku but I'm not financially stable enough to throw money at someone else to do something I can do myself.
hhhhh
BUT YEAH!! I'm gonna try making little dolls and maybe same hand paws since those are a nice start.
I want to get my sewing machine back up and working so I can decide if I want to sew it by hand or not too.

That's really about it.
Oh, I also bought two new baseball crew necks (ones red with a darker red, and the other one is green and a darker green).

I really need to draw a new one soon.
I don't like any of my old ones and I'm really sad because I don't have Photoshop right now since I need to put it back on my computer.
hhhh whyyy

///edit
Also, FA keeps saying I have 1S when I don't and has been for the past week.
http://gyazo.com/6f30201555cf64a7b4.....f45b7c3e93.png
Idk but it's starting to bother me hhhhh

I'm going to try and make drawings with backgrounds because that's something I really need to work on.
I'm going to ask my sister to take me out downtown so I can sketch out some scenery for practice.
I need to practice mega hard because I'm not where I wanna be.

So, today idiot messaged me saying how much he wants to make me proud of him and that he was sorry, like sorry he gets the way he does when he's mentally not okay and blocks everyone out. He also said how much he missed me when he wasn't okay. I gave him space because you can't hover over him it just makes things worse.
He didn't tell me until today but he's been at the doctors and psychologist a lot this past month.
He told me he's being put on medication for his depression/anxiety, and BPD.
For some reason he feels like he doesn't make me proud and he really want to make me proud... This fucking idiot makes me very proud even if he's not on medication to help him out on a daily basis.
Gosh, this fucking idiot I swear.
I just want to bundle him up, kiss him, and tell him I'm very proud and that he's perfect.
Like it takes a lot for him to admit that he's not okay and I just //cries
man, I just don't know. He's perfect and I mega worry about him sometimes.
I know he's had a lot of bad things happen to him(things I will not say because it's not my place) in the past and IS scared to tell people when they're hitting him hard because it makes him feel weak?
idek, this idiot means a lot to me and we have our rough moments but it's nothing I can't understand.

why am I even awake rn???
I should be asleep hhhhh
I need to go out and buy some more melatonin like hella soon.

I might LS later today after I wake up.
jsyk.

I'm still here and stuff.
I check my messages if you need to get in contact with me you can.
I'll be uploading more stuff soon hopefully.

I've done nothing but listen to Broadripple is burning by Margo and The Nuclear So and So's for the past like 3 hours while thinking about idiot.
I'm a really depressed puppy rn and I just //sighs
I think I need to up my medication because it's just not helping.

The past 4 nights have been really bad emotionally and I feel like shit.
I just want to sit against the wall and drink my whisky until I start to feel numb.
I've been bad and bought a pack of marlboro reds too.
I'm just in a bad place rn and I miss him so much too.
My bed feels emptier than usual and increasingly cold.
I just want to hear his stupid grumbly voice and sarcastic remarks.
Him calling me dork as I whisper idiot to myself.
I miss waking up to find sleepy picture of him and his puppy on my phone.
I miss him so much right now.
I wish I could remember to not hold everything in until I explode.
I wish I didn't say any of that stupid shit.
I don't want to lose him and just the thought of that makes my stomach churn.

Go look at them ;u;
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12216639/

If you could?? tell people please ;u;

I'm trying to save up something to buy something cool for myself on my birthday =w=
Probably my leopard gecko.

Procaster said fuck no tonight

I'll be uploading Adoptables of a hybrid species tomorrow.
Ranging from 8-10 bucks ;;
You get to choose sex/gender for the Leer you adopt.
Interchangeable tails.
Etc.
I think they're cute anyway.

I'M GONNA BE 18 IN LIKE 7 DAYS //CRIES
like now it's more like 6.3
I'll be 18 at 6am on the 9th //cries
So excite

I hate when I accidentally unwatch someone because I didn't notice it was a - instead of a plus +
+1 more fuck up.

I might change him up to look more like a husky.
I'll probably add more white to his face.
http://gyazo.com/f877723d3ffac36b94.....d69bf78470.png
http://gyazo.com/2897b603aab361493d.....0804429d63.png
http://gyazo.com/9d65d11dd24fd43ca5.....37c1627854.png
http://gyazo.com/60a2b348f81fe53995.....a43455f90e.png

I'll probably sketch something tonight and mess with him some more.
I might not change him at all but yea

I guess my boyfriends ex somehow got my phone number...
They texted me earlier and asked me who I was... I replied Alex, who are this?? But they never told me who they were and proceeded to say "Alex, I don't know any Alexs", so I'm assuming he wants to ruin my life or something because yeah...
Then babe texted me and was like "If a weird number text you don't reply I'll explain later over skype"
So umh yeah, great.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l.....gb3zo1_500.gif

I just watched this fucking movie and I want to cry forever. Every single time it makes me cry.
Oh myogd like if you've never watched it go watch it now.
This fucking movie.
Excuse me while I go cry in the corner.

Do any of you use user styles for FA???
if so what theme do you use??

There's nothing interesting on netflix right now.
It's like when you walk to the fridge multiple times expecting the things inside to change but are continuously disappointed

tmi and me talking about him in general;
Babe and I were talking after he woke up for a nap and then he told me he needed to jack off.
Which he knows makes me frustrated and really embarrassed.
The only bad part is that he falls asleep after finishing himself every single time and then I get really sad because he's usually out for the night ;n;
So now, I'm a lonely,sad,frustrated, and bored pet of a boyfriend.
I'm just going to lay in my bed and cry because this asshole is just the biggest asshole in the planet.

AND LITERALLY THE POEM HE WROTE THE OTHER DAY ABOUT WANTING ME LITERALLY ENDED ME.
LIKE I CRIED SO HARD.
HE'S SUCH A BIG IDIOT.
LIKE THINGS SUCH AS HEARING MY VOICE WHEN HE GETS HOME, ABOUT WANTING TO BE MY HOME, MAKING ME SMILE/BLUSH, AND OUR HANDS BUMPING TOGETHER RANDOMLY.
I still want to cry reading it because it's just so pretty and //cries
Loving this boy has single handily ruined me.
We have matching t-shirts and he tells me to put mine on my pillow so whenever I sleep there's always something there to comfort me when he's not and I just want to fucking fall to pieces.

I've also never seen snow before and he put this part in there about watching me run around in it when I see it fall for the first time...

Help, my puppy heart can't take much more of him.

I want to practice drawing other character and since I'm in no position for commissions right now, I figured I would offer three free spots. I might not do them all today but yeah.
I might colour them or just sketch them idk we'll see. (It'll depend on how lazy I'm feeling)
I'm using my computer with CS6 AGAIN SO I'M REALLY HAPPY BECAUSE PHOTOSHOP IS MY BABY.

But yes,
Three free spots.
Umh maybe first come first serve or something idk.
But comment with a ref if you're interested

edit// I might LS these but at the moment I'm drawing porn so yeh

In a while ;;;; like I just read this really cute yaoi with this big furry tiger seme //cries everywhere
LIKE IDK MAN IT'S KINDA FLUFFY AND NO ONE HAS TRANSLATED CHAPTER 5 YET WHICH IS REALLY SAD BECAUSE BAM DICK.... But cute big furry tiger seme /screams into the distance.
It's called koketsu dining
I've also never seen a manga with a big furry kitty seme like that and I probably never will unless someone else knows of one //cries more
it's just so cute and //screeches
help me I need more

http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes

i might have to go to the store and stuff so yeah.

http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes
http://www.livestream.com/ironeyes

please come watch ;o;

I'll finally be real 18 in exactly one month.
That's gonna be a great night.
and by great night I mean talking all night on the phone with him.

Hookah Bar and Raves here I come.

-Badges (once I buy a laminator)
-Character References
-Icons
-Sketch sets (3 random sketches of your character)
-Bust
-Adoptables (maybe)
-Gore stuff -w-

I'll update this list later when I think of things.

I'll open them once I manage to open my bank account.(hopefully within' the next week.)

On the bright side of moving accounts I get a name I enjoy.
On the downside I have to go watch EVERYONE over again //sob.