Well, I knew I was having some issues, but looks like they're getting worse.

As i have stated my laptop is dead until I can replace the battery I think... at least I hope that's all it is.

And I already knew my desktop's GPU was starting to fail, it is like 10 generations out of date so it's time for it to be replaced probably. But this morning it took three tries to boot up my desktop. Looks like my boot drive might be failing now too. That pisses me off cause it's a SSD, I have an old WD external I use to store files on that is over 10 years old and still going strong. The boot drive is not even 3 years old.

DAMNIT!!!

If I could afford to I'd just rebuild the PC from scratch, but that's not realistic and way too damn expensive.

Everything I can make in commissions is now going to PC repairs and I'm just hoping it holds together for another month or so.

*sighs* sorry for the rant, just one of those days...

Well, good news, I am home!!!

Now let's hope I stay here this time.

Well, I ended up in hospital for a few days, hopefully will be out tomorrow. Infection in my gut again this time, I think they didn’t clear it all out last time. Crossing fingers to be home tomorrow, sick of hospitals.

In other news, sadly won’t be making it to TFF this year again, just don’t have the funds or stamina, so anyone going have some fun for me.

Other then that I hope to have my PC fixed up for arting again soon, so I hope to be caught up on commissions I owe soon, thanks for patience during these hard times.

Not much else to say, hope everyone else is doing well out there.

Well…. Back in hospital. Was suffering intense abdominal pain. Drs think it’s a viral infection combined with I was in diabetic keto acidosis. The DKA required a couple days in ICU. Now I’m in a regular room while they try to figure out the abdominal pain. Not my gallbladder since that was removed last month, and not my appendix… sigh, I just want to stay out of the hospital…

That’s it for now, hope I can go home soon :(

Well, good news is they figured out the problem
and I’m back home. Bad news is it was my gallbladder and I had to have surgery. So right now I’m in alot of pain and the pain meds ain’t helping much…

But at least I’m home again!!! Only two weeks in hospital this time, that’s a record short time for me!

As the title says, I’m back in the hospital. Suddenly started experiencing extreme pain in my belly, like I was being stabbed. Pandawife took me to hospital and I’ve been admitted. Current cause of the pain is unknown, waiting for more scans and tests. Trying to keep my spirits up but it’s hard right now.

Will update when I know more.

Hey folks, another month another update.

Still healing, I'm told the hole in my side is getting smaller but I can't see so I have no real idea on how it's going. I'm walking a little better but still with low stamina. Pushing myself as much as I can to try and expand my stamina and how far I can go.

On the moral front I'm holding things together and trying to keep my spirits up.

Hope everyone had a good spooky season and got lots of candy to last them a while. Our house still looks like Halloween threw up in it but the pandawife really likes Halloween >^_^<

On the art front I'll be offering a sale for Nov, the theme will be my Star Hunter Universe (space bounty hunters) setting. Get your char drawn as a Star Hunter, flat colored for only $25 US or cell shaded for only $30. If you're not familiar with my Star Hunter works, here's my main character from the setting, Gunndis >>> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9892271/ Send me a note if interested >^_^<

Well, not much else to update on currently, so I'll bid you adieu and hope everyone is doing well.

Well, another month has passed.

Medically I'm doing alright, some days worse than others, some days better. Still not able to return to work. Standing/walking is limited as is carrying any weight. Weight loss seems to have stabilized which is good, at 6'9" weighing just over 200 lbs is a bit light for me.

Mentally I'm hanging in there. Hearing from y'all here, on Discord, and when I am able to stream does seriously help my mental state. Thank you!

Pandawife is working long hours and it's stressful. Her boss is an idiot! Tells her "This isn't how we did it at a fortune 500 company" Guess what, I worked for a fortune 500 company and he would have been fired LONG ago for even HALF the shit he's pulled. He's fat-phobic, sexist, and believes you need a college degree to do the job my wife has done for 20+ years without a degree. Oh, and he makes sexual jokes in the workplace like this is the 1920's and sees nothing wrong with it. He's even stated he would like to fire my wife but the owner of the company won't let him. (sorry for the rant, but this guy gets on my last nerve)

On a kinkier note... I've put up a Kinktober Multislot YCH to try and get enough money to pay my bills this week. If interested check it out here >>> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/54001850/

I've got a few other YCHs still up for grabs if y'all are interested:
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53517242/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53517194/ (female slot sold)

Well, I got nothing else for now, hope y'all are doing well and staying healthy!

I've been seeing this go around last few years from multiple artists. What would people think of a Kinktober themed sale for the month of October? Might do a YCH or two with multiple slots available, I dunno yet.

What are your thoughts and what would you like to see in Kinktober?

I’m back online finally!!! My computer’s boot hd gave up the ghost and took a while to replace. I’ll be back to drawing soon as I’m done reinstalling my software.

Still got three YCH up for grabs, all NSFW.

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53517242/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53517194/ (female sold)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/53517157/

Well, another month has come and gone.

Heard from the lawyer reviewing my case, they have decided not to take it. Wouldn't say why or give any reason, I figure too much work for them. Going to try one more time with another lawyer but I am getting less hopeful on this front.

Still can't work, but can stand/walk a little bit more, maybe 30 minutes if I push it but it wipes me out. Wound in my side is down to about 1cm but still draining a little, so it's slowly healing, being a type 1 diabetic doesn't help any with healing times. Been in a lot of pain lately, but can only take Tylenol, which barely takes the edge off to me, leaving me unable to do much some days, even sitting at a computer gets painful after too long.

Going to put up a few more YCHs soon, got the first batch nearly half done and there's been some requests for m/f options instead of just solo. We'll see what I can come up with.

Stress has been keeping me from sleeping. Some nights I only get 1-2 hours, sometimes due to pain, others due to my brain refusing to shut down. I just end up lying there in the darkness...

Still not been able to sell my truck sadly, so still got that burden. The place I tried to sell, after giving me an estimate that would have more than paid it off offered me only about half that when I brought it in cause "the market shifted", in only a week?!

Well, that's it for now. Hope everyone is doing well and surviving in this crazy world we live in. Till next time, stay safe!

Howdy again,

Well, it's hotter than hell in Texas.

Health wise I'm stable, not in hospital, and still not able to work. I can barely walk for 15-20 minutes at a time with a cane if lucky and tire quickly. Still have an open wound on my side from one of my surgeries though it's down to about 2 cm now when it started at about 12 cm. This is from when they had to clean an infection off my lung caused by a leak from my stomach. It still hurts and makes standing even harder at times. All I can do is change the bandage and try to keep it from getting infected. so far so good.

I can drive a little, very little... about 30 minutes max. We're looking at selling my truck since I am currently unemployed and with gas prices through the roof we aren't driving it currently (wife's small SUV is far more fuel efficient). So I'm making truck payments and not benefiting from the use of the vehicle. I love my truck :( what Texan doesn't but I gotta face reality.

I've found a lawyer who is reviewing everything that went wrong medically, they're supposed to let me know this week if they think I have a case. Texas is one of the harder states to win malpractice in. I think I have a good argument cause while in the hospital they kept saying I had a leak in my stomach but weren't doing anything about it which led to the infection on my lung and ultimately more surgeries... I hate medical shit. They wanted a copy of my medical records.... that's alot to review from March of last year to present.

Not been online hardly due to computer issues, hopefully I can get them fixed in next day or two and start streaming again. Got a couple YCH ideas I'll probably put up when I can draw on my computer again, I gotta get some income to pay the bills.

Well, that's it for now. Hope everyone is staying safe and definitely staying cool in the heat waves.

Hey y'all,

Finally able to get to my computer again, which means I'll try to return to regular art and streaming. Not sure how well I'll do after over a year of not drawing and my hands still shake quite a bit sometimes.

Still going through therapy and can now walk limited with just a cane, so some improvement just low stamina. I find I am cold often and it makes me shake worse sometimes.

That's it for the good news, now for the bad/sucks news.

After 20+ years, my company has "separated" me from employment. I am "free to apply when physically able" and my boss wants me back soon as I can walk without assistance and am cleared by my doctor to return to work, but HR says they have held my job for a year+ and they were only required to hold it for 12 weeks by law. Boss claims he'll hold my position as long as he can, but that's no guarantee. Things are going to get tight around here sadly. Let's hope nothing breaks and I don't end up back in the hospital.

*sighs* Trying to be positive here, looking forward to arting again and hanging out online with y'all again.

See y'all soon online.

Finally home with pandawife.

Still got no insurance…. Still got a hole in my side…. But I am home finally!

Still accepting donations to try and get my insurance back. Thanks to all who have donated!

First of all, I want to extend a thank you to those who have donated to help me through these tough times. I still need about $2K to try to get my medical insurance back. *holds up tip jar with big kitty eyes*

Still in the hospital, no idea when I’ll go home yet. Apparently my kidneys are acting up. And when I stand my blood pressure dropped to 63/50 which is dangerously low.

Stress is still there, for both me and panda wife. But who wouldn’t be stressed going through this. I hope I can come home soon at least.

Hope everyone out there is doing well.

Hey o folks,

I’m sitting in the hospital waiting for another surgery. This time it’s a hole in my esophagus. Not been able to eat or drink for two weeks cause of this leak.

I’m stressed to the nines and ready for a nervous breakdown… the last year has been rough.

Hope everyone else is having a good year and enjoying TFF 2023.

Well, seeking legal means to keep my medical insurance.

As far as my condition, I’ve started running a fever of 101+. They’re running a bunch of tests to find out why.

I’m still asking for donations to get the $5K I need to keep my medical insurance. Donations can be via tip link on front page or direct to my PayPal goliath_cpg[at]yahoo.com

Please spread the word.

Well, I just got a kick in the nuts.

Seems that while I thought they were taking my insurance premium out of my disability pay, turns out they weren’t.

This means I have to come up with $5000 immediately or be dropped. Sadly I’ve used all my savings to keep the bills paid.

*sighs* I find I must ask for help. I can’t afford to lose my medical as I’m still in the hospital. Donations can be sent through my tip link on the front page or direct to my PayPal goliath_cpg[at]yahoo.com

Thanks for listening to an old cat’s problems.

Well, still in hospital. They had to clear out my left lung by surgical means due to pneumonia and I am hooked up to a wound vac 24/7. They can’t seem to give me an exact day I’ll get to go home let alone when I can return to work.

Insurance is being a pain… what’s new there.

Trying to keep the bills paid has drained our savings and I’m worried about keeping bills paid until I’m allowed to return to work. This is stressing me out like crazy. I didn’t know when this all started that I would still be in hospital a year later. All in all I am quite depressed about the entire situation.

I miss my wife, she’s holding together but I know this year has been hard on her too.

Won’t be making it to TFF this year either, sorry to miss the friends I see there each year.

Hope everyone has been having a good holiday season.

Sadly, Christmas morning I was readmitted to hospital with severe pain in my guts. Turns out my stomach is leaking, I have puss under my left lung, and antibiotic-resistant pneumonia, and I am so tired of arguing with insurance companies. Currently have a chest tube draining off the fluid and puss. The pain is severe enough they had to double my morphine to keep it in check. This year has me ready to scream and cry at the same time again.

Some days I don’t know what to do…

I got to spend little more than two weeks home before this latest complication. I wish I could be home right now…

Good news is I’m finally home. Can barely walk but am getting by. Art will continue to be on hold as I am weak and shaky still and cannot sit at my computer long. But I am making progress on recovering.

Recovery is slow, doing rehab at home since I am out of days for inpatient rehab through my insurance and I sure as hell can’t afford it.

Hope everyone is having a good holiday season.

Well… been quiet on here and that’s mostly cause I find it hard to type a lot on my phone. It’s been a heavy few weeks.

Had an infection in my lung which required surgery. Couple weeks to recover from that which made the progress in rehab slide backwards.

But, I was able to stand for the first time in months, even if only for a minute. My blood pressure drops to dangerous levels still when I stand. By dangerous I mean not registering on a bp cuff and my vision blacking out.

I am so tired of fighting my own body to do things…

Anyway I’m back in a rehab facility trying to build my strength and walk again. While arguing with insurance to ensure things get paid and trying to keep my necessary bills paid with a huge loss of income as I’ve slipped into long term disability.

Fighting depression and boredom. Wife can only make it out on weekends cause our house is nearly an hour drive away and she has to keep working her job and taking care of the furry four legged children known as pets.

Well… I’m still alive so I guess that is good at least.

Whelp, they did a scope on me yesterday. My GI trac is still leaking into my chest cavity… means more surgeries for me as well as the infected mess in my left lung.

I just want to lay here and cry, I don’t know if I got the strength left….

On top of that my disability benefits are fucking with compensation and wether I’m actually disabled. I can’t fucking even get out of bed! 5 months of run arounds by “professionals”.

Sorry to rant… it’s just…. I’m at the end of my rope.

Still in hospital… just got an update from a Dr that the surgery they had planned for next week is more complex and will require a series of surgeries cause they’ve missed something for the last 4 fucking months! Saying they probably with have to move me to another hospital where the right specialists are…

I don’t know what to do…. I’m so tired of this run around. I hate my body and the stress and not knowing exactly what’s going on. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this bullshit!