I just did an entire commision, finished it, was about to post it and...

the entire time I had a nagging feeling I was missing something, somehow the picture just looked off. I ignored it because the character is pretty simple so that must be it, usually I have to draw complex fur patters ect so without them I guess it just feels off.

Nope,

I somehow worked on a commision for 10+ hours without drawing the characters obvious - long and bushy tail......

lol :(

I was so excited about possibly completing a commision in only two days...

the good news is I think the picture will look a lot better with a tail.

I want to do a commission and I don't have any right now so I am offering a cheaper commision with the stipulation that its something relatively simple with 1-1.5 characters in it.
I am talking 15-35$ depending on what it is. discounted from what I might do undiscounted for 35-75$

I dont know about exact numbers just give me an offer in a note.

Just trying to get things started again.
This is a 1 Slot offer so if someone else gets something real cheap and good from this dont expect the same price and quality. I am probably going to delete this journal after someone accepts this offer anyways.

It can be anything really, although gore might make sense if I am semi-using it to try to advertise for more commissions. Although if you just want a cool pic of your sona standing or doing something, I could do that.

I also might draw a few 15$ detailed sketches extra if people want. Doing real pen and paper might be fun.

So I posted a picture so that kinda means that I am back in business.

I want to semi set some more limits because last time I had people ask me to do some things I didnt want to do and instead of saying I didnt want to do it I pretended that I might and just ignored people.

which isnt very mature behavior.

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Anyways. I dont like excessive and obscure gore, such as blenders or meat grinders.
I dont like anything thats unrealistic such as characters that are excited when they are about to be killed... or other unrealistic stuff that I cant think of right not.
I dont really like non-red blood I guess.
A big change I guess is genital mutilation. I dont like it when the focus of the picture is genital mutilation.

All these things are not really hard limits but rather an understanding that I work a lot better on art when I am excited about drawing it.
I like having a little of artistic freedom to try new things because ultimately getting better at art is a big desire for me. So I want people to understand that new things may not look exactly like things in the past
and that might actually mean that the newer stuff is better but it also might mean things look a little weird sometimes.

Anyways, things I really do like, are strong emotions, interesting situations. I like gore in which the person is actively being killed rather than already dead.

I also like doing things that are not gore at all. Fetishy yeah but after doing like 6 gore pieces in a row last time i found myself really not wanting to draw something that includes any gore.
I might even be apt to put a lot of effort into something that is not sexual or weird at all. Just because I dont have a lot to show "normal" people. which is kinda sad.

I go out and Im like "yeah I am an artist" and people are like "can I see your art?" and I am like "No" :(
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ALSO a big thing. Drawing many characters is difficult for me. Maybe its a style thing, but like I have realistic lighting and realistic anatomy so when something is slightly off it really stands out. Therefore
drawing 2 characters is like 4 times as hard for me as drawing one and drawing three is like 9 times as hard ect... I realize that this is something thats more my fault and semi-shouldnt be accounted for but its true.

So like often people are like "60$ for one character? can I add an additional character doing something for 20$ more?" and Im like "dang thats not what it should feel like its worth"

I mean 4 and 9 times as hard or whatever might be some abstract exaggeration but the idea is still that I like paint my stuff rather then sketching and then beeping and booping things together and then cellshading ect.
and making multiple things mesh together can be difficult sometimes.

I think the deal is that usually people spend a lot of time on backgrounds for one character so adding another character at a discount is often a good deal for the artist because they can put two characters in front of one background, save time. For me I guess I just kinda dont really draw backgrounds so it doesnt mean anything.

I really just need to fix these things myself and figure it out but I thought I would just mention it.

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I feel like a lot of artists have a lot of different qualities of art that they can do depending on how much that they are paid. Since I kinda pain things I feel like I kinda just have Crap quality and great quality and no in between

This is another thing I need to work on, however it comes up when someone wants a like 30$ cheap commission and im like "how do I not spend 17 hours on this but also not make it look like it was done in 5 minutes?"
ill try my best I guess >.>

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So people can start asking me for commissions again if they want. Im a little scared but Ill try my best.
I know I probably lost a bit of trust by cancelling on a few planned commissions and getting slow near the end. however the one commission that I fully accepted and then cancelled on, I did do for free 8 months later.

I have probably gotten a bit better then I used to be but Ill still start off around the same prices until things start going smooth again.

Send me whatever. I know in the past Ive been kinda the "he will do whatever artist" and thats kinda how I was making money. I guess its just a wish but I hope I can find things both me and the commissioner can be excited about.
I like interesting things and interesting is a strong subjective that changes from person to person but lets see what people have.

I might start refusing some commisions if they are certain things I described that I really dont like or if I really just dont feel good about it.
However dont let that stop you from asking. I really dont judge on things, its just hard for me to work on something if I dont care for it much.

I wanna stay positive so lets see what wonderful things I create in the future.

Ill probably start creating art for my D&D campaign and posting it into FA until I start getting commisions. So like if I dont get commisions I can atleast keep creating art and advertising my skill.
So there might be a bit of SFW non furry art in my gallery for a little while depending on how getting commissions goes.

I have been gone a long while I know.

I now Have a 40 hour a week job, and I am running a dnd campaign ect

I am trying my best to get closer to starting back up art again. However I dont know when it will happen. I am just trying.

Iv been away from the Furry real life community for too long.

So I am planning on going to Fwa this April. I dont have a room so this is me getting started advertising about that.

my prefered method of room getting is 4-6 people so that the price is really low. but if you have other offers Ill listen to them. I am pretty chill in real life. I dont really drink or do anything crazy. If there is alchohol in the room I dont mind though.

Thanks

I think a reason Iv been so angsty is that I haven't drawn anything for myself in so long. Everytime I pick up my pen its to draw something for someone else.
I think I just need to finish out my commissions. Draw some stuff for myself and then Ill be better. Maybe take some time to do this more in the future.

I think I came on a little strong and people may have gotten the slightly wrong idea from my last journal. I do not suddenly hate gore and never doing it again ect. I see people commenting stuff like "it was fun while it lasted" as if it is the end of my gore art.

I will probably do more gore in the future. I have just become tired and frustrated of hardcore stuff being the only thing I draw. For the last 7 months or so I have had a constant stream of gore/rape commissions. Which has been great, I really appreciate all the fans of my art that have kept me floating financially. However I am exhausted from hardcore being my artistic Identity and being the only thing I draw.

I have had a great time and really like this community of people. Everyone seems unusually understanding and nice. Maybe once I settle into my new job and I have a clean slate for commissions I might start accepting gore commissions again. I dont know. I just want to take a little break for now.

sincerely thank you for all the support and commissions through this last year

The name Goredata did not come about from an affinity from drawing gore. The Idea was to take a large amount of visual information and create a unique art style where I cut and mash together these images and also paint over it in photoshop ect.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25995736/
About 10 months ago, I went to new york. It was a free trip paid for by my college for the officers of the UNG Art club. I remember I had two photos in this new style. I showed them around as "my art". At this point I was very excited about my future.

My dad gave me some graduation money so I decided to quit my job and just spend the next few months just exploring this new style and creating art vigorously and freely. That was the plan.
The problem was I had/have had anxiety involving death. Maybe it was because the lack of a job and school the lack of something to focus on, that this anxiety manifested to crippling levels a few weeks after I graduated college. I would lie in bed in terror crying almost every night. I started feeling sick, throwing up. I couldn't come to terms with the concept of death. since as long as I could remember, I hated shooting games, or any game that death occurred. I was a vegetarian as a child after conceptualizing where meat comes from. In elementary school I threw a fit after realizing the teachers were going to kill a tick they found in my hair.

I always hid from the concept of death. I strayed far away gore and snuff art. Wouldn't ever dream of viewing it on purpose. It terrified me. However, after being terrified sick for weeks, my mind snapped in some way, I guess I needed to conquer my fear. I think making light of death praising it and surrounding myself with it in a "positive manner" was the only to make the terror go away. So somehow I stumbled upon the furry gore community. Role played my character getting killed a coupe dozen times and after a while, my anxiety diminished to almost nothing. I still get small fits of terror here and there but the embracing of the concept of death seemed to fix me. After a while of being in the gore community people learned I was an artist and either asked me to do art, or I offered to do art for them. Eventually people offered me substantial money to draw gore for them. That's how I started drawing gore. Because it is a more niche area of art I seemed to get a constant flow of commissions.

About 4 months of time off from my job turned into about 8 months because of the extra money. Now here I am. I cant deny that I have gotten more better at art then I could possibly imagine in those 8 months. I am getting a real job again though. The rate at which I work on art is coming to a screeching halt and I feel like I just dont want to work on gore anymore. And thats not fair to my commissioners. I dont desire this fantasy of death anymore. It doesn't excite me. the concept of death has settled in my mind and become part of me. I am not offended by shooting games anymore ect, but also I am not excited by them. I have become much more desensitized to death which sounds bad, but I feel more stable.

Part of me wants to say I wish I could go back 8 months ago and just spend those 4 months mashing shit together and creating pretentious crap. To create freely and explore as was the plan. But I dont know if I could escape learning this lesson.
I know now that I want to stop. at least for a little while. I will finish this last gore art and then start only accepting non-gore commissions for a while. my next commission is actually just bondage so possibly I can work really hard on that and I might start getting more non-gore commissions.

I havent been able to show my art to even the people who say "I am ok with furry porn". It feels kinda bad sometimes. my family really loves me and I want to be able to share with them.

Anyways, I am definitely getting a job now. I just want to be fair and give full disclosure to anyone commissioning me in the near future. It may take well over a month to finish your commission. I strive to make every one of my commissions the best piece of art I have ever created and really make it special for my commissioner. I feel sad when I fall short of that. I have a lot of problems and addictions that make me bad with time though and I just want people to know that.

I may be moving back to posting my art on  Turic but I dont know yet. no one knows me there anymore but also I assume people are following this account for the gore so it wouldn't really make sense to keep posting here.

I figured out how to get it working in general but like, can I just do it whenever?
Do I have to ask artists who are commisioning me if I am allowed to stream their commision?

does picarto.tv allow adult art? if it doesnt what site does?

Anyways, here is a link that I think might work maybe?

https://picarto.tv/Turic

First of all, I know for sure I dont work on my commisions as much as I should. not even close.

however, it seems the amount of hours I have to spend on a commision to complete it increased drastically at some point and now it takes 25+ hours work to complete an 80$ commision.

I spent 7 hours yesterday trying to complete a commision I thought was almost done and its still not done.
The problem is I feel like most artists have a heavy artistic process. The basic, draw lines, do flat colors, shading then lighting ect ect.

I literally just do vague lines and then paint over it 1 stroke at a time as if it is a literal painting. I do some filter effects and editing and stuff after but still I am really just painting when I create art.

The solution I guess is to learn real methods and improve them, However I feel that 90% of the time I am doing art it is doing commisions and I dont have time to learn the "real and faster way" So I just ironically hatch slowly at these paintings in order to try and finish them faster.
I dont really know what to do. I mean if I really was working as much as I should, it wouldnt be much of a problem,

like just look at this
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23942442/
and compare the detail to this
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25726769/

What I feel I try to do is always make my next image better then the last. The first image took me about 4 hours to do. The second one took me 25+ hours.
I dont really know if Im good at art. I think I may not be as good as I let on to be. I just pick slowly at these images for exorbitant amount of hours until they eventually somehow look good. But maybe thats just what good artists do? I dont know

Tomorrow I am going to a furmeet but after that I am planning on trying to get back on track.

this last month might as well not even exist for me. I was less then not very productive.
iv already been over that though.
My birthday is on the 26th of this month and my mom and dad are flying down to my state to visit for a week around that time so I may not be productive then.

This is all just a heads up on my timeline for the near future, as I am saying I will try to be more productive but I do have a reason for why my birthday week will be less then that.
I will try to do as much as I can in the week between now and then.

Thanks.

It seems right after I said I would do better, a started doing worse. Almost a month has passed since my last commision was finished. I am almost done with another, my biggest commission I have ever done.

it did not need to take this long though. Nothing bad happened to me, I wasnt afflicted with anything that made me lazy. I am just lazy. I have had a video game addiction that I sometimes fall into. Around July this year I nearly had it beat. I made over 400$ in commisions in one month and things were going great. Now things dont seem great.

I am tired of making promises and being stressed about them. I am just going to do my best. sorry to the people that have commissioned me expecting me to keep up with the breakneck creation pace I had last summer

I will still continue to do those commissions unless people want to cancel which is fine.

I spent two years saving up money at my retail job so I could quit my job and try to be a full time artist. It seems I am starting to squander that. maybe being all clammed up in my house all the time has gotten me depressed. Maybe I just need to exercise.