lol i havent updated. so far lifes been the same.

me and my mate have been good. *yay kisses!!! XD*

my life at home has been hell as usual

and of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my pack is still freaking awesome

me and bloodwriter have a evil master plan figured out that we just have to set into motion.

so ya nothing new

ok somethings wrong with me. all summer long ive been starving and like when i do eat something i only get a couple bites b4 i feel like i cant eat anymore

ive lost 10 pound cause i cant finish a meal

anywhos im prayin to a god that thrusday dani is feelin better because its basically our day

and my mate is feeling better to

i hate my freaking parents!!!!!

dani is in the hospital and my bf has mono and they wont even let me see them...

danis been begging me everyday and all i can do is cry and say i cant.....and same for my mate.......

i hurt all over.....i thought summer would be a happy time when i could be with dani and my mate......

my friend dani may die............and she wont take the meds she needs to get better........

im so scared......i wish i could just curl up into a ball with someone by me and just cry.........

ive been crying since this morning........i really just need someone......i wanna see her.........

life at my house could be coinsidered living in the most secure prison in the whole U.S.

no freedom, no rights, no nothing. And you know when its gotten outa hand when you walk into your own house from like hanging with friends and you feel like total crap

So yeah.....my boyfriend and all my pack mates are what is keeping me from ending it.

Happier note: CAMOFAULGE TRIPP PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i also love the commission CalicoKittyNinja did for me

LOVE YOU!!!!!!! lol

i give up on loving someone....

every guy i fell for just used me.....i give them my heart and get it back with a knife through it.....

i wanna be loved by someone....have someone to call my mate.....

i guess im not allowed to know what true love is

ok so yeah my body is like tormenting itself

i havent been able to get a good comfortable sleep for like weeks.....

fall asleep for an hour and stay up for 3....

eh probably cause my ''family'' hates my guts
i just really wish i could curl up somewhere safe and sleep

(thinks. PJ OR DANI lol XD)

so both my parents suck and have made it clear they dont care anymore

i really wish i could be put up for adoption so someone actually cares

i have honestly wanted to cut myself but i know my pack cares so i haven't

ok so both my parents suck now and im close to just ending it

they both dont care and made it completly obvius on many occasions

id rather be adopted right now then go another day at the hell i call a house

to be honest ive been wanting to start cutting my wrists....but i hold back cause i know some people actually care.....

ok so my dog might go down cause hes pretty much paralized....

he cant even walk to get food or water or use the bathroom....so yea....

but i guess on a happier note....i have a boyfriend....

yes shocker the emo wolf has a mate after refusing to love someone......curse you pj! (lol jk i love him)

fml....

ok so the first week of summer i got to hang out with calicokitty and blindfox and like everyone....

Now i barely even hear from them...

I miss being able to just see my friends everyday...someone call me or txt me....i really wanna hang with people that understand me instead of my family....

lol so i made my own pikachu ^^, and ill hopefully upload him soon

alright weekend....so im going to a colorado ice game with my bfffff (atleast i hope) then staying the night at her house

GRADUATION NEXT FRIDAY

well school year is almost done.....but im not as happy as others
i dont like change...the one person i thought of as a hero is graduating...and so will all my ''sisters''....
i just dont like saying goodbye....

ok so i have a bunch of art but nothing to scan in with.
Once i get a scanner (and get off my lazy butt) ill upload some stuff.

well lets see here...ok ive been starving recently....probably cause i woke up my dancing self and my body is used to just laying in my bed....

anywho i havent been drawing and am looking for ideas...

help me out?

oki lately ive been having the same dream over and over
all of my friends are in it but the weird thing is im not with them
from what i remember i got taken away by a lone wolf and not able to go see anyone
anytime i try to escape the reject wolf i end up blackin out and waking up in the spot the wolf took me in the begining
is this some freaky thing im supposed to learn? or is it just another pointless dream?

ok i just now noticed that i am prone to random (bleeding) cuts
i was just sittin around and outa nowhere i had that like burning feeling
i look down and my middle finger is white with a magical little cut
well im falling apart now lol

its about freakin time i get 7 hours of good sleep even though the dreams still fried in my head
anywho i have been coming up with weird quotes cause im not in an artsy mood (darn drugs!)
so yeah lol i just put one i came up with for my journal thingy
oh and NO MORE SINUS INFECTION

im so tired...i havent slept well in days
i keep having those realistic kinda nightmares and its freakin me out
like ill be asleep for 20 mins and the nightmare comes
beside the dream i have a minor sinus infection that ive had since last tuesday so i havent had any good sleep

things are getting weird in both my life and book
first off im like dying cause my book is getting to a...well kinky part and the character is taking forever to say yes
now my life....i dont remember whats weird cause i wanna know what happens next lol i fail

ok...so spent the night over at my bffff jades house
then watched pineapple express *lol*
in doing so, i kinda noticed how tight my bond is with her and my really close friends
idk why lol i was bored and wanted to type

well...ok...so i maybe the only one feeling this
you know the feeling that you may have where you think you screwed up
ever since the long weekend ive felt like i screwed up somewhere....
another weird hayato moment

ok...so i made my dad mad today because i have failed an assignment i had promised to do well on.....

In telling him he said that my phone is now his for the long weekend as well as my laptop.....

As long as i do not interfer i will get them back monday before school.....

I just wanted to let those people who i usually talk to that as of now i do not have my phone or laptop and that you did not do anything to make me magicly stop txtin you...

oki for some odd and outa nowhere reason....ive been in a better mood *gasp*

Im dead serious like im not joking when i say its outa nowhere.

And for some reason people say my aura changed even tho i dont feel any different.

Yes this was a pointless journal

Anywho i hope ill submit stuff *if i can get off my emo butt and do it*