I've been putting this off for a while now, so here goes:

Things have been a bit... rough to say the least for myself and  rambutt. For a while now he had been having problems with his back and kidney, his doctor he'd been seeing was looking into the possibility of kidney stones, or a cyst or any other what have yous. And it was nearing the end of November that he went in to have a CT scan done.

I went with him, cause that's what boyfriends do, keep their sheeps company. The radiologist's reactions went from "Results in a couple days" to "I'll take you to ER for your results today" to him being admitted to the ER. It turned out that there were anomalies and blood clots throughout his body....

Long story cut short, they were tumors. He had been diagnosed with testicular cancer. The worst of it was a 4 inch tumor between his spine and right kidney which had caused it to become cut off from blood flow. The doctors had a tube in it to attempt to drain and resuscitate the kidney, but it wasn't responding well with the blood thinners he was taking for the clots... And in the night he began to bleed internally, the only choice left was to remove the right kidney from circulation.

Without it, he's definitely been improving, and over time they have started his chemotherapy. It's a slow process but he's improving every day.

I just wanted people to kinda know whats going on, and where we are at right now... With the move while he was in the hospital, and my transition to overnight work, I've been kinda distant from a lot of people, things are just...hard right now, but slowly getting back to a stable position.

Lastly, all I'm going to say is that we, neither he nor myself, are wanting your pity. He's stronger than any of us, his family or myself, and really it's him keeping me going, so I can be there for him when he needs me. I just wanted everyone to know whats going on, and thank you to whom ever reads this.

Because my buddy  lilchu is selling his old one.

It is a Cintiq 12WX, about a year and a half old.
Asking price is $650

His journal on it is is over here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6178839/

It's a happy birthday for meeee!!


Also New Years. Hope y'all have a good one!

But I'm not sad! I have waaaay too many happy memories to even pretend to think about feeling sad! Sitting in the hotel lobby right now, will put up a proper journal about it when I get home!

I really want to drop a Theros draft at the con... I mean, like, so badly! And I think we can do it, but we just need to get enough players! Currently we have about five players and we are looking for three more players to get this ball rolling.

It will be 15$to buy in, I'll provide the packs and there will be prize support and the game itself will three rounds.

We will be holding it either Friday or Saturday, the date and time hasn't been fully decided yet, but we are more than happy to discuss and plan that with everyone.

Any one interested just let me know here or via a note. I'm putting this journal on InkBunny and Fur Affinity, so there may be some overlap and probably first come first served.

Lastly, if you aren't interested, but know someone who might be, would you kindly pass this along to them? I'm really hoping to make this work!

Kthxbai<3

I suck at begging... Especially when I have absolutely SHIT ALL to give in return.
But, Rosco's car is, well, pretty much dying and we have no money to fix it. I feel like a dick asking the random people who watch my account, but whatever. The worst that happens here is nothing.

He needs his car for the winter, he does snow removal and has to be able to reliable commute back and forth from the depot where his tractor is parked. Sadly, no buses go out there, and even if they did, they are not the definition of 'reliable'.

Go I guess I'm going to be petitioning everyone who can help to help. I know I have been, but when I only work a part time job in winter, it's hard enough to make sure I have rent money.

So, I guess... I'm panhandling online. My paypal is ixyao951[at]gmail.com

But otherwise...
Thank you for the moment of your time.

How's it been? Hows it going? Did you miss me?

Probably not.

Anyway, It's been a while since I really attempted any true 'presence' here. Mostly because I've been juggling two jobs and a full time boyfriend... Seriously, having a life really kills having a second life.

But yeah, things are going swell here, Recently had my one year anniversary with  rambutt and things could not be better on that front. No foolin'

But enough about me; How are all of you doing! Well, anyone who gives a fudge and actually read this :3

Also feel free to drop me some message, I miss y'all.
Well.. Most of y'all :3

I mean, I spent months on end hiding away from my IMs, the occasions I would sign on feeling like no one would eve want to talk to me, even my friends I've known for years...

Welp, the last few days have beat the shit out of me and I wanna let people know I'm sorry for acting like a reclusive dick.

So, I'm going to start leaving my IMs running...most of the time (unless my computer is off or sleeping)

Basically, I've been inactive with all the friends I've made over the longest time now and I want to end that problem, So anyone who wants, feel free to send me a message if you want. Please just bare in mind that I may not be available to reply at that exact moment. Just be patient and I will reply as soon as I can, I swear.

I'm not a ghost, I swear! <3

Why do I feel so apathetic to coming here? Sure, I'll drop in on the home page, check if I have any comments or stuff, maybe...MAYBE look at a few submissions off the first page on my recents....but otherwise... I just don't feel compelled to have any presence here any more. ):

I haven't properly checked my submissions or journals since...
July 12th.

And I've barely been able to stay online, between wanting to just play video games in quiet solitude or spending time with friends offline or, and I can't forget to mention, working two jobs.... I just never think about going online anymore, it just feels like I'm wasting the little free time I have in front of a box hoping that someone will deem me worthy of their few seconds.

Now, I'm not saying there aren't people out there who want to spend their time talking to me, nor am I saying I don't want to talk to them. Just, if I am chatting online, that's all I can really do and in the end I'll accomplish nothing else, or I will but it will be super slowly.

As opposed to staying offline and getting a shit tonne done, like room cleaning, advancing in the buckets of games I've been wanting to play, spending time with those who I care for around me, heck even going through my fuck load of magic cards.

I guess what I'm saying is, I'm sorry to those who enjoy their time with me online. Going forward I'll try to be there more often but in the end, it's not as easy as it used to be.

In the form of...WOMENS PANTIES!

Okay, they aren't panties...but damn well enough for me~
Briefs~<3
Based on a pair I own~ ;3

Done by the equaly exposed  rivcat
Thank you again <3

And that means so is my coonbuddy Graedius~

And just for the occasion....
Canada Day icons!!



ctrl+f5 if you're still seeing super ixy boy~

I don't know.. I had a hard conversation with Rabid (  rabidraccoon ) today.
I've been worried about how we really felt about each other and how I felt about him.
I'm happy though, he put my worries mostly to rest.

I did bring up one of my biggest worries to him, and I'm only glad to hear he accepted me for who I am.

I am, for lack of a better word, a polygamist. I truely believe in polyamory and that one can truely be happy and love more than one person. In the two years we've been together this has been a large worry of mine, that I may meet someone, fall in love and that he would see me as discarding him, the furthest from the truth it can get.

I've talked about this with him tonight, and unless he wasn't being honestly (I highly doubt that), he has accepted that I can show him just as much love as I do now, even if there as another in my heart.

So this is my confession, I am a polygamist.
I love you John (Rabid to you all), no matter what or who else may be in my life.

For
And quote:

YOU JUST WOKE UP NAKED IN BED NEXT TO ME... using only 3 words, what would you say to me?

Note: If you comment, please copy and paste this as your journal, so I may comment on yours as well. Be a good sport.

LAYER ONE : THE OUTSIDE
- Name: Chris / Ixyao
- Eye Color: green
- Hair Style/Color: Shoulder length light brown hair, generally tied back or loose.
- Height: 6'1
- Clothing style: Whatever I happen to be wearing...generally jeans, hoodie and a graphic tee.
- Best physical feature: I am in love with my goatee. It defines me~

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: Prolly...biggest fear; being unable to breath... Srsly, if my nose is stuffed, I'll have panic attacks. >:
- Your guilty pleasure: Bad music... I still play it loudly >:
- Your biggest pet peeve: Mall pedestrians.
- Your ambitions for the future: Being able to support myself, consistently >:

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: What time is it...
- What you think about most: sex
- What you think about before bed: Sleeping...or whatever I'm watching on TV
- You think your best quality is: I try to be likeable D:

LAYER FOUR: WHAT'S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: Single is more intimate... so... yeah?
- To be loved or respected: Loved. But also with respect.
- Beauty or brains: Brains.
- Dogs or cats: cats.. Cats... I find dogs always smell bad >:

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: At times >:
- Believe in yourself: When I need to...usually always
- Believe in love: Always.
- Want someone: I have him. Hard fought, but I won't let him go.

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: High school; was part of a musical ensemble
- Done drugs: Nothing worse than dope...and alcohol. just those
- Changed who you were to fit in: Nope. If they don't like me, fuck 'em.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Blue, blue and more effin blue D:
- Favorite animal: Rad Pandas. B3
- Favorite movie: i'unno, if I went by the movie I have seen most often; Resident Evil...the first one.
- Favorite game: Chrono Trigger~

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday you will be: It shall fall on a sunday.
- How old will you be: 26...ugh :/
- Age you lost your virginity: 18. I took my time >: Or I didn't care.
- Does age matter: As long as it's not illegal...or creepy.

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality: Funny, sweet, fun to be with.
- Best eye color: Doesn't matter to me
- Best hair color: Once more, no cares
- Best thing to do with a partner: Just being close to them~

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: Rabs
- I feel: lazy~
- I hide: my penis with clothing
- I miss: being a kid, with no responsibilities
- I wish: I could take a trip down south.

LAYER ELEVEN: I TAG
and That's what you get for chatting with an evil bastard like me! 83!

I've been in one for the last week! :D

it sucked x_x
I went in on the 19th with stomach pains to the ER.... waited for 6 hours, where I napped on the floor most of the time, by the time I got into the Emergency the pain had moved down into my abdomen and had intensified.

So, I'm in the bed in emerge, and they are taking blood and just making sure I'm alright, and shortly after the bloodwork came back, I was told I was being rushed to surgery fearing that my appendix may be perferated. It was 4am by this point. So I'm taken to surgery early in the morning, I've been doped on morphine by this point and have an IV installed, so I have no clue what time it was or how long had been passing. All I know is I'm laying on a bed in wait, then I got awoken to be transfered into the operating room...then I was knocked out again.

By the time I came too again, it was late on Sunday and everything is a blur. My doctor comes by later, turns out my appendix had burst, and there was nothing left in there; normally even in this situation there'd be a little left for the doctor to close against the intestinal wall, but in this case he had to close it with itself.

So after that, I was infected. I spent a week laying in bed not eating and being pumped with antibiotics, IV fluids, gravol and Dilaudid...which is a fuck of a lot more intense than morphine (in a good way).

But now I'm free! Slowly, I'm improving but damn, I'm still tired all the time, and the dizzy spells and light-headedness are abundant, but I think I'd rather sleep those off at home than in a hospital.

I am back. You can hoorays now.

sure...why not :U
blame  biscuits


WOULD YOU....
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] miss me if we went out then broke up?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] tap me on the a**?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] caress my body?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] say yes if i asked you out?
[_] let me wear your pants? (panties? :O )
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

DO YOU...
[_] think im cute?
[_] think im hot?
[_] want to kiss me?
[_] want to cuddle with me?
[_] want to hook up with me?

ARE WE...
[_] acquaintances?
[_] friends?
[_] in a relationship?
[_] gonna have kids?

AM I...
[_] smart?
[_] cute?
[_] funny?
[_] cool?
[_] lovable?
[_] adorable?
[_] compassionate?
[_] annoying?
[_] great to be with?
[_] attractive?
[_] mean?
[_] odd?


HAVE YOU EVER...
[_] thought about me?
[_] thought there might be an "us"?
[_] thought about hookin' up with me?
[_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] wished i were there?
[_] grabbed me?
[_] had a crush on me?
[_] idolized me?
[_] wanted my number?
[_] had a dream about me?
[_] been distracted by me?

ARE YOU...
[_] happy you know me?
[_] mad at me?
[_] thinkin' bout me?
[_] going to repost this in your journal so that i will return the favor

My mouse died!
After many years of love and use, it gave up today.... and the scroll wheel/button kicked the shit.
I was sad. Very sad.
Welp, time to buy a new mouse!

I managed to pick up a nice, new video card cheap from a friend of mine this weekend.
I finally have a PC worthy of my gaming (not that it wasn't before :3)

It was nice to finish bulletstorm on higher than 'medium' settings

Sadly... I don't know what to play D:

Suggest for me some games that really shine on PC...or are just pretty in general :3