I haven't written a journal entry here in two years. I guess things just got away from me. It's not been a fun ride after all (for any of us).

I spent much of early 2020 dealing with the fall out of catching Covid before Big Government even admitted it was in the Country (December 2019). I am still dealing with Long-Covid's after effects. Then I got furloughed for a month in March.... which sucked up much of my savings. My dog was also diagnosed with terminal Cancer in August of that year, everything pretty much went sideways after that. I spent the winter of 2020-21 dealing with my dog's palliative care as she declined on top of my own health problems, which was extremely difficult. It put a massive strain on my mental health and impacted a lot of my creative energy. Then on the first of June 2021 my dog passed, and things got even worse. The remainder of 2021 is sort of a blur of pain and dark thoughts. My Depression and Dissociative disorder came back ten fold, amplified by social isolation and a very long grieving process. I also estranged myself from some of my family who's presence in my life wasn't helpful, and everything pretty much sucked. I stayed away from people, even online. Places I used to frequent and be active in... I pulled away. No point in bringing my problems into spaces where others come to get away from theirs after all.

And so far this year is pretty much more of the same. Stress, depression, anxiety, chronic illness, and the world on fire. Art hasn't come easy. I'm exhausted a lot of the time, most of my spoons are spent at work, just day to day survival takes everything I have. Not much left over for creative outlets at the end of the day. I still try to doodle. What I do manage, I post on my twitter (@bigTpitty). I'm trying to finish bigger projects, but it takes so much more out of me now compared to pre-2021. It's hard to draw when I'm to tired to hold onto a thought or lift a pen. u_u'

I'm not sitting here writing a sob story wanting attention, I just want to let the few who might have noticed my inactivity know what's been going on. I'm still around. Just, more of a ghost or shadow... I lurk quietly, I watch and hope others are doing ok. I hope ya'll are alright and taking care of yourselves. <3

Hey folks.

I have another question for ya'll! Anyone here recommend a website where I could find "play mats" or gaming mouse pads with a variety of art on them, that's not stolen art? You know, like Redbubble? A place where artists can sell their own stuff that also does mouse pads? I reeeaaally need to replace mine. It's driving me nuts... and I'd love to have one with someone's art on it who'll actually get the $$.


Also, if you ARE an artist who sells such items with your art on them. Feel free to link me to your product(s). I may just end up picking something of yours! Who knows. :)

Working on a project. Need a quality black or charcoal grey faux fur. Short pile (I'd prefer to not have to shave it to shorten it). Anyone have any websites they'd recommend? My local options are quite limited so I'm expecting to have to purchase online. Any help or info' would be appreciated.

Uh, anyone know what happened to the VCL's us servers? Did they finally croak?

I'm kind of sad. Some of my oldest work was archived there and I'm not sure I have back-ups for a lot of it.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/bigTpitty

dA: http://jaxxblackfox.deviantart.com/

Weasyl: https://www.weasyl.com/~jaxxblackfox

Tumblr: http://jaxxbfox.tumblr.com/

Picarto: https://picarto.tv/dreamingwhileawake


Redbubble:
https://www.redbubble.com/people/dreamwhileawake