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Note to self
Posted 3 months agoI'm not Josh Groban, I'm not Tommy Shaw, I'm not Myles Kennedy, not Tommy Karevik... I'm just ... Jazzy.
This helps, you know. Especially when I'm the one with expectations about myself.
This helps, you know. Especially when I'm the one with expectations about myself.
The hamster sona wasn't meant to be
Posted 9 months agoRemember when I used to gush about AmandaDaHamster all the time back in the day, 2008 or so? Yeah.. I kind of came up with my -soon to be- main hamster fursona to fit and develop in Amanda's universe of warrior critters. The fantasy setting, a world inhabited by all kinds of beings, characters full of personality and a compelling backstory, relationships and all, beautifully rendered scenes in that wonderful cartoon-esque style.
Amanda's art was my next obsession right after Secret of NIMH 2 and Tim's character. For many years I had dreamt of my character being in such pictures, interacting with her own characters and even his husbands. In 2017 I got my first "real" job and bought my first ever digital piano, but also managed to get some USD to spend on commissions, and guess who was gonna be my first BEEG commission from? THAT'S RIGHT!! THE DISABLED ACCOUNT
WOOOOOOOOOO.
So I waited, and waited, and waited annnd fast-forward 7 years to 2024 when it finally hit me: she wasn't coming back (I learned that she's ok, only offline indefinitely). It hurted, a lot. But in all of those years I got to think of how I was so disconnected from my fursonas and art in general because I couldn't afford it. At the same time, there's very few drawings of "me" (my fursonas) interacting with other characters in any way, but specifically physical contact, and it was but a reflection of how I had became aloof and distant IRL. So I saw the chance to course-correct, and it was what I needed for closure...
This guy here is my current fursona: Sly, aka Jazzy. He's a fox. Outgoing, cheeky, flirty, a soft idiot who loves bad jokes and being slliiightly annoying. It's the best representation ever of what makes me happy about sharing with others. The story is, obviously, full of emotional ups and downs, more downs than ups to be honest. But in the end, I'm here typing this, even if it doesn't make as much sense as I'm hoping XD Feel free to ask or whatever. To Amanda, thank you for so much, sorry for so little. I could only afford to leave silly comments and play a character as your fan.
In any case, I may finally abandon this account and move to a different one, not that I'm precisely active lately, but you know... still around, I guess
Wishing you all the best, as always! Thanks for reading.
Amanda's art was my next obsession right after Secret of NIMH 2 and Tim's character. For many years I had dreamt of my character being in such pictures, interacting with her own characters and even his husbands. In 2017 I got my first "real" job and bought my first ever digital piano, but also managed to get some USD to spend on commissions, and guess who was gonna be my first BEEG commission from? THAT'S RIGHT!! THE DISABLED ACCOUNT
WOOOOOOOOOO.So I waited, and waited, and waited annnd fast-forward 7 years to 2024 when it finally hit me: she wasn't coming back (I learned that she's ok, only offline indefinitely). It hurted, a lot. But in all of those years I got to think of how I was so disconnected from my fursonas and art in general because I couldn't afford it. At the same time, there's very few drawings of "me" (my fursonas) interacting with other characters in any way, but specifically physical contact, and it was but a reflection of how I had became aloof and distant IRL. So I saw the chance to course-correct, and it was what I needed for closure...
This guy here is my current fursona: Sly, aka Jazzy. He's a fox. Outgoing, cheeky, flirty, a soft idiot who loves bad jokes and being slliiightly annoying. It's the best representation ever of what makes me happy about sharing with others. The story is, obviously, full of emotional ups and downs, more downs than ups to be honest. But in the end, I'm here typing this, even if it doesn't make as much sense as I'm hoping XD Feel free to ask or whatever. To Amanda, thank you for so much, sorry for so little. I could only afford to leave silly comments and play a character as your fan.
In any case, I may finally abandon this account and move to a different one, not that I'm precisely active lately, but you know... still around, I guess
Wishing you all the best, as always! Thanks for reading.
Still around in 2024
Posted 2 years agoHello, everyone!
After my last upload I was a bit surprised at the amount of views that it got, maybe due to the fact that ever awesome
vixyyfox made a journal about it, but also... them positive comments!
This year I was able to re-connect with the musician that got me into FL Studio and music making in the first place, resulting in this thing (link) composed in 2009. Back in the day I'd just leave silly comments or stupid roleplay on their music and I'd get kind and informative replies, but now we get to talk about life, projects and do some non-music stuff together. However, it gave me hope that I could even get back to composing some more. My personal cycle of self-criticism/perfectionism hasn't been doing me any good on top of my voice being sore and all, though if that goes well you can expect some stupid or repetitive tunes as well as some vocals here and there.
Looking back at what I considered to be "contributing" or "active" in the furry fandom, and looking at how it has evolved and adapted to modern day internet, VRChat, X, Twitch, YouTube, etc, I realise that I'm so behind, I even got to question myself if I'm part of this at all. Like, I use the furry tag on Twitch, I love this community, I love my character, I love that he's my avatar, but I haven't roleplayed or commissioned him sharing something with some other fur(s) in a long long time, which reflects how aloof I am in general. May as well be it just an OC that happens to be a cartoon animal and therefore it fits in here. I know, it wasn't always like this, right?
So yeah, I'm still around! I don't really know what to do, but I'm still around xD
Here's to a better year, y'all! Thanks for sticking around Appreciate it immensely.
After my last upload I was a bit surprised at the amount of views that it got, maybe due to the fact that ever awesome
vixyyfox made a journal about it, but also... them positive comments!This year I was able to re-connect with the musician that got me into FL Studio and music making in the first place, resulting in this thing (link) composed in 2009. Back in the day I'd just leave silly comments or stupid roleplay on their music and I'd get kind and informative replies, but now we get to talk about life, projects and do some non-music stuff together. However, it gave me hope that I could even get back to composing some more. My personal cycle of self-criticism/perfectionism hasn't been doing me any good on top of my voice being sore and all, though if that goes well you can expect some stupid or repetitive tunes as well as some vocals here and there.
Looking back at what I considered to be "contributing" or "active" in the furry fandom, and looking at how it has evolved and adapted to modern day internet, VRChat, X, Twitch, YouTube, etc, I realise that I'm so behind, I even got to question myself if I'm part of this at all. Like, I use the furry tag on Twitch, I love this community, I love my character, I love that he's my avatar, but I haven't roleplayed or commissioned him sharing something with some other fur(s) in a long long time, which reflects how aloof I am in general. May as well be it just an OC that happens to be a cartoon animal and therefore it fits in here. I know, it wasn't always like this, right?
So yeah, I'm still around! I don't really know what to do, but I'm still around xD
Here's to a better year, y'all! Thanks for sticking around Appreciate it immensely.
BlueSky invites: gone - thanks!
Posted 2 years agoI can't keep up with all the sites xD But if you want to follow there: jazzypanda.ar - eventually I'll start posting
EDIT: all gone for now, thank you! If you'd like me to send you one as soon as I get it let me know
So, any thoughts on the fediverse?
Posted 2 years agoI made this thing on the other thing, @jazzypanda@furry.engineer
What do you think about Mastodon, this "fediverse" (to be honest I hate the term, but it is what it is), or this instance in particular?
What do you think about Mastodon, this "fediverse" (to be honest I hate the term, but it is what it is), or this instance in particular?
A silent year / update
Posted 3 years agoHello everyone.
Things have happened, haven't they? Russia and Ukraine are still at war, Elon Musk owns Twitter and every thing that transpires as a decision of his as CEO of the company looks like a bad joke, the pandemic is over, but it's not, but it is, but it's not, thesoccer football World Cup and AI art is a thing and there's sides now.
TL;DR: I moved and haven't been singing, so I'm a bit sad. But wanted to give you watchers here an update of sorts. Also, thank you for sticking around -- Happy Holidays ♥
This year there was no new music from me (aside from a collaboration with Skybowl, who got suspended for something and thus the submission is no longer available). I moved from Trelew to Bariloche in july, and having seen everything packed up in the apartment proved to be terrifying, just like when I was a kid and moved for the first time. You see, I'm an adult and could have chosen to stay but the thing is that
cygiscat got a scholarship at INTA as a step in her pursuit of the PhD. It's a HUGE opportunity that would be a mistake to pass on, so it felt like I had no choice really. At the same time I got a new job at a payments processing company, so I had to learn both the job AND how remote working works (heh).
This leads to the reason why I'm writing this: you probably already know that I have these breakdowns from time to time (because I dump everything in journals or Twitter threads). According to my doctor, this is called dysthymia (something that later changed to PDD for Persistent Depressive Disorder), but this should be diagnosed by a therapist. I don't feel like I've settled in this new place, the apartment is much smaller than the previous one, and we share the front yard with two other families, which doesn't help with that feeling of "home". I'll work it out eventually, I guess.
Finally, my singing is getting rusty. I've been practicing less and less since the pandemic started, and basically nothing since the move. Wish I could have some sort of positive counterpart to this, but the truth is that I'm sad. This leaves me with nothing that I'd consider significant enough to share here in the fandom. Maybe I'm wrong there but I feel like I don't have anything else. What do furries chat about nowadays? I kinda forgot how to do that x3
Anyway, sorry about the text wall. The ups and downs truncate most of my ideas, and I take note of some of this stuff for when I get the chance. Despite everything I'm still thankful to every one of you who watch me here, every comment, fav and listen is a positive note on the final picture. Sharing those audio things here, being able to see, read and listen to what *you* share, and knowing that someone will enjoy my audios or comments has brought me this far and maybe I'll find a way to get back on track sooner or later.
Happy Holidays, and thanks again!
- Jazzy
Things have happened, haven't they? Russia and Ukraine are still at war, Elon Musk owns Twitter and every thing that transpires as a decision of his as CEO of the company looks like a bad joke, the pandemic is over, but it's not, but it is, but it's not, the
TL;DR: I moved and haven't been singing, so I'm a bit sad. But wanted to give you watchers here an update of sorts. Also, thank you for sticking around -- Happy Holidays ♥
This year there was no new music from me (aside from a collaboration with Skybowl, who got suspended for something and thus the submission is no longer available). I moved from Trelew to Bariloche in july, and having seen everything packed up in the apartment proved to be terrifying, just like when I was a kid and moved for the first time. You see, I'm an adult and could have chosen to stay but the thing is that
cygiscat got a scholarship at INTA as a step in her pursuit of the PhD. It's a HUGE opportunity that would be a mistake to pass on, so it felt like I had no choice really. At the same time I got a new job at a payments processing company, so I had to learn both the job AND how remote working works (heh).This leads to the reason why I'm writing this: you probably already know that I have these breakdowns from time to time (because I dump everything in journals or Twitter threads). According to my doctor, this is called dysthymia (something that later changed to PDD for Persistent Depressive Disorder), but this should be diagnosed by a therapist. I don't feel like I've settled in this new place, the apartment is much smaller than the previous one, and we share the front yard with two other families, which doesn't help with that feeling of "home". I'll work it out eventually, I guess.
Finally, my singing is getting rusty. I've been practicing less and less since the pandemic started, and basically nothing since the move. Wish I could have some sort of positive counterpart to this, but the truth is that I'm sad. This leaves me with nothing that I'd consider significant enough to share here in the fandom. Maybe I'm wrong there but I feel like I don't have anything else. What do furries chat about nowadays? I kinda forgot how to do that x3
Anyway, sorry about the text wall. The ups and downs truncate most of my ideas, and I take note of some of this stuff for when I get the chance. Despite everything I'm still thankful to every one of you who watch me here, every comment, fav and listen is a positive note on the final picture. Sharing those audio things here, being able to see, read and listen to what *you* share, and knowing that someone will enjoy my audios or comments has brought me this far and maybe I'll find a way to get back on track sooner or later.
Happy Holidays, and thanks again!
- Jazzy
My 7th FA submission
Posted 4 years agoHello!
I just wanted to tell the curious story of this one submission (link) in my gallery.
In 2005 I downloaded a bunch of MIDI files from who-knows-where (Google search using "?intitle:index.of? MID" to hit those public file servers xD), because dial-up internet was EXPENSIVE and my mindset was "download everything now, listen later".
One of those files in particular I loved so so much that I started daydreaming of it being the main theme for one of my "action furry cool animations" (little panda loved daydreaming of animations that he'd eventually make). And so I'd spend hours and hours fiddling around with MIDI editors, virtual instruments, Melody Assistant, the FM synth of my old SoundBlaster 16... it was all fun with this piece!
After some years passed, dad sold the PC and bought another one, and then sold that one and then bought another one, the only copy of that MIDI that survived did because it was packed in an old Klik & Play (link) game I made back then (little panda loved doing things that fit in a single floppy disk). So the MIDI was now stripped of everything but the notes and instruments, this means no comments to be seen when opening it with an editor. When I finally got curious about its origin and gained internet access, I was stuck with a file named "~MIDI016.MID" and the idea that I once read "Metal Gear" somewhere inside the original file. Decided to sample it with Melody Assistant and uploaded it here.
It was all a big mystery to me for more than 12 years, listened to every Metal Gear [whatever] OST, but they're mostly orchestral and couldn't find a melody like the ones in the MIDI... until FINALLY a random fur on a random Telegram group linked this Retrogame Tributes track (link).
The clue I needed: that song is based on a piece from the 1990's game "Snake's Revenge" (a Metal Gear spinoff game by Namco themselves), specifically the one called "Metal Gear".
But now the thing is every single note that you hear in that Retrogame Tributes track being present in the original MIDI imply that it's an 8-bit resample of it... that Retrogame Tributes album was released in 2015, and I downloaded this on May 25th, 2005.
I'd love to know exactly where I got this file from, what the original name was and who wrote it. If you happen to know how to contact Retrogame Tributes, PLEASE let me know ♥
EDIT: Retrogame Tributes re-uploaded this on Aug 30, 2023 👀 No idea... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWnY0rMExww
I just wanted to tell the curious story of this one submission (link) in my gallery.
In 2005 I downloaded a bunch of MIDI files from who-knows-where (Google search using "?intitle:index.of? MID" to hit those public file servers xD), because dial-up internet was EXPENSIVE and my mindset was "download everything now, listen later".
One of those files in particular I loved so so much that I started daydreaming of it being the main theme for one of my "action furry cool animations" (little panda loved daydreaming of animations that he'd eventually make). And so I'd spend hours and hours fiddling around with MIDI editors, virtual instruments, Melody Assistant, the FM synth of my old SoundBlaster 16... it was all fun with this piece!
After some years passed, dad sold the PC and bought another one, and then sold that one and then bought another one, the only copy of that MIDI that survived did because it was packed in an old Klik & Play (link) game I made back then (little panda loved doing things that fit in a single floppy disk). So the MIDI was now stripped of everything but the notes and instruments, this means no comments to be seen when opening it with an editor. When I finally got curious about its origin and gained internet access, I was stuck with a file named "~MIDI016.MID" and the idea that I once read "Metal Gear" somewhere inside the original file. Decided to sample it with Melody Assistant and uploaded it here.
It was all a big mystery to me for more than 12 years, listened to every Metal Gear [whatever] OST, but they're mostly orchestral and couldn't find a melody like the ones in the MIDI... until FINALLY a random fur on a random Telegram group linked this Retrogame Tributes track (link).
The clue I needed: that song is based on a piece from the 1990's game "Snake's Revenge" (a Metal Gear spinoff game by Namco themselves), specifically the one called "Metal Gear".
But now the thing is every single note that you hear in that Retrogame Tributes track being present in the original MIDI imply that it's an 8-bit resample of it... that Retrogame Tributes album was released in 2015, and I downloaded this on May 25th, 2005.
I'd love to know exactly where I got this file from, what the original name was and who wrote it. If you happen to know how to contact Retrogame Tributes, PLEASE let me know ♥
EDIT: Retrogame Tributes re-uploaded this on Aug 30, 2023 👀 No idea... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWnY0rMExww
