We maybe new to you
But where as old as the dirt we've shoveld..
And the fields we've tiled for hopefull plentiful yields
We manifest a difference then what you protest.
But our grit is gold, our labor isn't sold to your prevarcation, and deliberate spreading of useless disinformation.

You use and abuse the averge proletariat; yet bestow granduer to faux accyolites, that in return let there lust for superiority betray you and your authority; come in due time.

You act as of you walk that walk and boy do you talk...
If your gonna preach it; let us not only hear it but I better see it or I'll make you sing it otherwise why say it just so we all hear it?
Write it down as if you ever did it never once have you ever done it or maybe I've just never seen it? but you lied as if you showed it to parade it? Like as if it was that blatant and your a martyr for it, as if your the representation of it? Why? Only because you preach it, no your just narsasastic and think highly for yourself and others who never had it.

Yet you preach it as if I ever needed to deal with it, get off it your high on your on supply yet you never heard of the 10 Crack commandments? And no that's not a drug reference I just see you seem to like to shit where you eat, that's a mystery to me cause you seem to intelligent for this to be but clearly you lack clairvoyance for the street. You shouldn't waste an education on a frivolous occupation, are we a charity you can attach your name to so you can show off to your friends too? Never do I quiet understand you, nor will I ever respect you (I lost my respect for you if it was even there to begin with)

It only seems that I was to blame for everything was really all me or was I your pawn so you can preach about it like it's a matter of fact when now that's all dought cause you had to get rid of me to make people see the error in your....

oh please you only care what's in-between your sheets you don't care if I no longer breath I've had it with you and your mindless sheep, constant arguing and misery, lost count of sleep I couldn't even eat and all you breed was toxicity all cause' you don't practice what it is you preach.

Fuck you and your gentrification only to support endless romantic greed.

To my ex employer and her cronies and there lies fuck you twice

I know I'm all to blame
I'm honestly just ashamed
Disheveled and in pain
Distressed and distran
Depressed and distain
Feeling it's all in my brain?


Loneliness is isaine
Always makin' a game
Never wanted to 'play'
Just wish you'd 'stay'
Will you ever come home someday?
Wish I had the chance to 'run away'


Chase the heartbreak all the same
Just something to escap
Start the day with a glass of chardonnay
Eventually graduate to more weight
Sometin' to ease the pain...
Never belive in 'faith'


I'll see you someday?
I know You'll push me away
...Could you see it from my way?
But know I don't want to date...
I love you like a mate
I know you don't see it that way...


Settle for compromise friendship and advice
Should of did that when you where 'nice'
...would've never have a 'vice'
I'm too hurt to think twice
Now I think I'm going to 'die'
scared to say 'goodbye'... before my time


I know love is a fantasy
Romance is hopeless to me
Dead flowers on my 'street'
I'll see you on the 'screen'
Think of what it could be
. . . Knowing you could never love me


Feeling women hate me
I dont know.. what I do
unintentionally obsessed
Just.. stressed and upset
I dont want just the 'sex'
I'm definitely not the... best


I know Men aren't to well
Definitely know 'we' fell
I don't want that to be 'me'
Like shadows in the streets
Uninvited in the sheets
'It' happened to me..


They'll Take advantage of the weak
Catfishing 'you' and 'me'
Questioning if there was Concent?
Robing our innocence
Killing our 'sense'
Forgiving to forget


I just want to live

I'm okay for now

It’s a big world
But why am I so alone.

It must be nice
Nice to be someone one
To feel, to feel yourself
To see ; see yourself

It’s a mad world
Trapped… Trapped in my fairytale
Dreams.. dreams I’ll never see
Well I don’t want to dream anymore
I’ll dream for no vacancy

Is there a world with no tomorrow?
Trapped in a fairytale
When… when does this story end..
No backspace key…
I want a self delete

It’s a big world
But there’s no one here for me
I wish I wasn’t lonely; but who could ever help me?
Isolated in a dream… I’ll self delete

Now… now suicide doesn’t seem so bad to me…

I was a mistake.
No.. no family tree rooted for me.


…and you, you know you could save me please? I’m in a time for your need

But there’s no family tree
Where’s all the good o'l dreams?

In a fairytale that, that’ll never see.

Escape this reality
I'm dieing in all my dreams.

I know I’m just a plague
Sick, why I am I alive.
In days so blind.
We all wish to feel alive

I do all these crazy things
Just to feel something?
Because I needed feel something …
….even though it was you’re complete hate

I regret everything I've said except “I love you”
Because that shit is true….
But where are you?
Hopefully alive

You’re lucky you don’t Have to see
…see how ugly you both are on the on inside.
I've tried ….
To see what I’ve done inside you’re mind..

Translate to selfish desires of grandeur
Wanting more power over the meek (because you’re week)
You cant full me
You’ll feel your own pity

I know I've hurt you most likely, unintentionally
I feel guilty. I’m a horrible existence of a human being
I wish you could both save me or at least one of you…
Could see me? I understand why you hate me…
You hate me because I'm just a disease.
An unwanted thing…
And most indefinitely
An unlovable thing…

So yeah in now 27 :/

New poem here...


http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9107901/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9107901/
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/9107901/

Have no Idea if people missed it.

I want to let go
Some how my cleanse my soul
I don't want my heart to turn into a black hole
Friends point out my faults
I want to be a more functional adult


I don’t want to think of you
I'm really stuck on you…
Trying to find a way to move on from you
My mind is screwed by you…


All I do is bring everyone down
I don’t ever deserve a crown
I've been closer to the ground
Dragging all those friends down, making me wish I could drown


I’m sorry I always have a frown
Making my soul brown
Only turning my heart to sound
I don't want to always feel down…


My dream ruined by your mean…
The way you treated me was unfair
I don't know if you ever cared...
I picture you as an evil swear
I “curse” you out of my life.
Try to get you out of my mind
Life’s been a slide…
Why was I so blind?


Just want to know why
Why did you come into my life?
You always told me you wanted to be my wife.
…for that I stayed by your side, but this is the thanks I get?
Slippery snake with a slit…


You tricked me by telling me you wanted my kids.
And I did a lot for all of “this”
For A “twisted” chick who made me sick…
Why'd you do any of “this”?
You turned into a which


I bough you a “ring"
A fuzzy one you can only find in a dream or work as hard as me.
In return you cheated on me within a week…
Left me for some one weaker than me…
At least I know I'll never cheat. Look what it has done to me. Not sure anyone would spend 3000$ on me


Liz.. you never gave me the biz.
What is this a quiz?
Should have left you to ‘fizz'
I would never do any of this


Not sure why I deserve any pain
Is it because I'm a perv? So you degrade…
So you throw it all down the drain?
Makes me feel like I'm going insane…


My friends say I talk about you to much.
I don't want attention for your none affection.. I want rehabilitation.
“Devotion” was only a lied emotion…
Only providing fake ‘promotion’


Trying to change and not stay the same.
I won't dare say your name…
I will no longer play your petty game…
You really are “trouble” it’s a shame…


Despite feeling I deserve closure..
It’s a pipe because you've been so mean.
Your apologies are garbage to me
Therapy is the only cure for me, even if I've been so weak…
You no longer control me.


I know eventually you'll come looking for me.
But I'll show you the same as you've been treating me
There’s the door can’t you see?
I don't care any more for the reason as to why you left me and started to ignore me.

The fandom is closed to users and abusers who mistreat others




((Thank you for reading if you did))

Yeah hi todays my birth day x3

So yeah the other day.. I had to go to the ER..


I have acid reflex and sometimes I can get gassy, so one of my friends told me to take apple sider vingear at first then take baking soda for a few hours later.

I couldn't stop burping for the life of me, I had to be taken to the ER by ambulance because I almost couldnt breath. :<

the doctors just gave me an I.V. drip cocktail that helped settle my stomach and pass things along.

Was still a scary experience, especially being in the back of an ambulance.

Hey I was wondering if anyone had an extra 3Ds that I got have to play with, both my purple 3ds and my pokemon X and Y 3Ds got stolen..
. I'm super upset and I really want to get my 3Ds back.... espiacally sense I cant find the pokemon one, if anyone has the red one could I plesa have it? Its my favorite coloring for the DS and I would really appreciate if someone could help me out here. We are low on money in this family because of the fires that happened in are area so I dont know if I can ever buy another 3ds for a while. Im so upset but i understand if no one can help me.

Hi everyone! Today's my birthday.

Sometimes I hate myself for the fetishes and stuff that I have, does anyone else out there feel the same? I feel like people judge you way to much on things you like, it's like they automatically think your going to force them into your world or whatever.

any one have a spare bong? or can some one buy me a new bong? no one wants to re buy the bongs they break because there cheap assholes fucking "friends" are nothing but cheap ass holes that use you for everything........

its ok if no one can but fuck it, why do I always gotta buy new bongs all the time they have better jobs then me I just fucking hate this fucking world right now.

why do you follow me and then unfollow me? fuck you stop doing that if your gonna follow me just don't unfollow me

I'm sorry i'm not inertaing to this fandom, but I'm going throught so much right now so fuck you if you follow and unfollow me!

I hate my family fuck this bullshit I wanna die

Happy 4:20 guys!

no one really seems to appreciate my poetry anymore.

I know you have different priorities then me
but this was my dream, and this is how I go to sleep
wait for you to invite me over for tea,
just so I can fall asleep.


wake up coughing to a nightmare,
I swear it's not the weed
why can't you let me be?
why can't you see?


antacid is now my daily routine
the methaly got me
where did you go?
why are we so far apart?


I should have quite this from the start
but I should have started in 4 year 3 trimesters
even if that's not who I am.
It's what I should have been!


pain builds character in our hearts
mine was broken from the start
you where my only love line
where do I go from here?


I need help myself
but I lie like a dog
I just want my bones
but I want what you got in your backyard


don't blame me I'm just a whore
I'm ashamed of what I become
not what I have done.
I just wish life had a pause button


why can't I sleep?
I need your touch to heal me
but you don't need me
you don't even see me!

but when I saw you there
that's what kick started my dreams
now I'm lost with out you
and started a downwards spiral of misery

sometimes all I want to feel is buetifu

but all I feel is ugly on the inside and out.

I wanna feel like i'm attractive.

but does it even matter?

I'll never mean as much to the people that mean so much to me.

I feel like giving up.

I lift this glass,
is it last?
wow thats fast
lets back to the past
hopefully it isn't mast
I dont want to sit in class


I lift this glass
is it really last
man I smoke to much Wax
you know I can't play the sax


you know I wanna sing
I buy to many rings
can i fly with wings
will you bring the bling

this was just a fling?
wanna bring the sling

fuck it no one cares...

i wish i wasn't lonely... I 'm hating this right now... I miss my ex and I really feel like she bratrayed my feelings and trust, I don't think ill ever get married just because its bull shit ill probably get fucked again like always, everytime I FUCKING love some one I always get hurt well they recover from me so easy well I still care for them.

all those girls out there crying over your boyfriend not puting a ring on your finger you should know damn well why not because thats to much bull shit for one person to handle, "oh but he should buy me a ring" go buy your own damn ring if you want one so bad, im not going to unless I know your not gonna pull some bull shit on me.

this life is shit I feel like no one cares or understands how I feel... sometimes I just want to die I mean whats the point? is every one I love and care about going to be completely shitty to me? am I just a tool to these people? when does telling someone I love them ever just be enough? why do I have to be the one who feels so low? these are serious questiones... because if i just keep geting fucked over theres no point living just to see if this shit ever stops, I 'm hurting so much and I'm pretty much going to be this way for ever because the people I like makes me feel worthless... or un atractive

its hard when you feel unattractive and un wanted to go out into the world....

every day's a struggle when you watch your life wash away
I can't believe all these things that I did in the name of love
so I sit hear clutching this bottle in my hand in silence of the day
I wonder how we can go in this life,
you lied to me when you said you'd be my wife!
and now I sit here and cry, wondering why I did all the things that did in this life.
you don't understand my pain, even if you lived in my game of life.


you will never understand how much I cared for you.
or all of things I did for you, I love you don't you understand why I bought that "ring" for you?
... but I guess the Diamonds where never enough for you...
I f***ing loved you more than a "ring" or any "diamonds"
that's why you steal wear them today and I don't even say...


I wish you didn't act like don't exist
I know I'm like a lemon twist, or a natty Barry but I just really love you, you treated me good before
but now I don't know why I'm a phantom to you?
I know I was "trouble" to you. but I loved you!


it just seems every day's a struggle just to find something new.
but I don't want something new, I just want to be with you
but you forgotten me and my love and Devotion for you.
I might just be a pervert in your eyes but your the love of my life, sue me I'm only Human.


I just watch you guys fly by well I'm stuck on start and do not pass go.
you do't even know how far I'll go...
it's been 3 years and I still have to wipe my tears...
you have given me all of these fears.


what do I do I can't tell anyone's lies
will I keep getting hurt and betrayed by my self?
will I be able to call there bluff?
or will I continue this cycle or abuse?


I don't think they know how I feel
let the rain come down on me and wash me away
let me get cold, I'm already dead on the inside.
but still my hurt wrenches with pain


so I ask again why was it so important for you to break me down.
you took my life away
you took my dreams away
you killed my motivation


why did I buy a "ring" for you when it was to much "trouble" for you?
you don't know why I did that for you?
I still love you the same and you forgot about me and why you wear that "ring"...
I should have known that the Diamonds wouldn't have been enough for you...

I fucking loved you.

~ JFoxx

every day's a struggle when you watch your life wash away
I can't believe all these things that I did in the name of love
so I sit hear clutching this bottle in my hand in silence of the day
I wonder how we can go in this life,
you lied to me when you said you'd be my wife!
and now I sit here and cry, wondering why I did all the things that did in this life.
you don't understand my pain, even if you lived in my game of life.


you will never understand how much I cared for you.
or all of things I did for you, I love you don't you understand why I bought that "ring" for you?
... but I guess the Diamonds where never enough for you...
I f***ing loved you more than a "ring" or any "diamonds"
that's why you steal wear them today and I don't even say...


I wish you didn't act like don't exit
I know I'm like a lemon twist, or a natty Barry but I just really love you, you treated me good before
but now I don't know why I'm a phantom to you?
I know I was "trouble" to you. but I loved you!


it just seems every day's a struggle just to find something new.
but I don't want something new, I just want to be with you
but you forgotten me and my love and Devotion for you.
I might just be a pervert in your eyes but your the love of my life, sue me I'm only Human.


I just watch you guys fly by well I'm stuck on start and do not pass go.
you do't even know how far I'll go...
it's been 3 years and I still have to wipe my tears...
you have given me all of these fears.


what do I do I can't tell anyone's lies
will I keep getting hurt and betrayed by my self?
will I be able to call there bluff?
or will I continue this cycle or abuse?


I don't think they know how I feel
let the rain come down on me and wash me away
let me get cold, I'm already dead on the inside.
but still my hurt wrenches with pain


so I ask again why was it so important for you to break me down.
you took my life away
you took my dreams away
you killed my motivation


why did I bye a "ring" for you when it was to much "trouble" for you?
you don't know why I did that for you?
I still love you the same and you forgot about me and why you wear that "ring"...
I should have known that the Diamonds wouldn't have been enough for you...

I fucking loved you.

~ JFoxx