Hey all, you may have noticed that the last journal I've posted was 2 weeks ago, and that the last piece of art I posted was even longer ago. While I have many sketches that I plan on finishing in the upcoming weeks, part of me is just.....feeling a lack of inspiration to draw lately. I know I'm getting better and I can see progress in my work, but I just feel like cramming in this drawing on top of studying for Biology, Chemistry, Statistics, and political science this quarter is just cutting into my mental health so damn much. So while I can promise you there will be art postings in the upcoming weeks, my lack of activity now, is more or less because I just don't feel inspired to do work.


That being said I promise there will be more posting of art next quarter. This is because I decided to fulfill the one fine art class I have to take, I'd take intro to digital painting and drawing, so my homework will happen to coincide with making digital art. That being said I will HAVE TO make more time at that point.

Long term I will probably make my commissioning debut at Califur, will have cards and stuff to give people as well as samples cause quite frankly my FA doesn't have as much as I'd like it to, and that may change given the upcoming weeks.

Just as a side note to all the other artists out there. Have you ever felt like multiple different artists inspire your work in their style spilling into yours? I notice that  gunmouth has been someone whom I've wanted to influence my style for quite some time, yet at the same time I've been noticing trends within my newer stuff that looks closer to  yuuri's stuff. Maybe it's cause I've been looking at her work more as of late? Anyway, not sure, and just wondering if anyone can tell me how senses of style develop cause I feel like I just kinda trend after random artists while looking at their stuff and learning from their scraps instead of doing what I should be and learning to develop and create things on my own. It's not that I'm copying them, it's that their styles influence how I learn to art....Anyone know how I can develop more of my own style while still maintaining a leaning regiment?

So, there was a thing that happened a few nights ago. For the last few months I've had a crush on someone....it's been both physical and emotional....well she's had a boyfriend, one for years that has never trusted her around me, or me around her. I think he might have been jealous of the closeness of the two of us. We'd been flirty we'd make sex jokes about doing eachother, etc. etc.

So this last weekend, Sunday night, I had her over, she was drunk, she was heavily coming onto me and she was mad at her boyfriend. She (I'm leaving her nameless for her sake) was to the point of clamoring onto me while I was pushing her off, telling her she had a boyfriend, and eventually dropped her off at his place.

Basically the next day I got a text from both of their numbers thanking me about the decision I made, as well as the self control I showed. As a result her boyfriend doesn't have a problem with us hanging out anymore, what's more when asked if he had a problem with it, I overheard him say "No I trust her with him...I know he's got a good heart" and that...brought such a smile to my face....

The gist of this is....if and I know I've done this to a few of people, if I've come off as someone who just disregard's relationships, it's not the fact that I'm trying to steal your woman, I have boundaries that I set, and lines that I refuse to cross. I want you to know, I'm not a home wrecker....and I can say that in the face of temptation, I could have easily destroyed and shat on their relationship and left it in ruins.

But it's that level of respect that I'm drawn to right now, the idea that you know what, her boyfriend trusts me completely. The idea that his friends know I'm not just some sleeze hanging around waiting for a fruit out of my reach to fall from the tree.

There are things I will admit, I have a flirty sociable personality, but that hardly means I'm a womanizer, or a seducer. While I can honestly say, the idea of fucking people over has been pitched to me...multiple times by multiple people.....I can just say that I enjoy being respected for taking the moral high ground, and I came to the realization that if that means I'm single for a longer time, so be it.......I'm sure what's in store for me is worth the wait.

Thank God I don't consistently live with a baby or pet. That moment when you realize you've left pills on the floor and just left em there.

Huh, having chest pain after giving blood...if it was on my right side I could not worry about it, but being that it's over my heart......maybe I should see a doctor.