If anyone that cares to follow me is curious why I dont make art (I do once a year) there's reasons....

Im severely mentally ill, bipolar, anxiety, anorexia, fucking stress, and crippling anxiety.

My head simply doesnt seem to have space for art anymore, i dont know why....

I was with my gf for like a fucking month straight right

ok so she left today

The anorexia is back and its BAD, ana is telling me so many crazy things, man im literally scared, I cant possibly survive eating as little as i secretly so so wish I could????

But i fucking want it so badly...

God wtf do I even do, If i get really bad and I clue my doctor in im absolutely going to end up in the hospital with a fucking feeding tube up my nose :/

HEY tho! At least I'll become skinny as fuck right? THATS ALL THAT MATTERS R I G HT ???????? EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY IF IM JUST FUCKING THIN AS FUCK

ok rant over, bye

Hello, most of you probably don't know... But i've been struggling with anorexia for a long long time...

I decided to choose recovery, I'm going to fight to get better

I'm open for commissions, is anyone interested in commissioning me?

My price range is 15$-50$

https://twitter.com/KaazKitty/statu.....988690945?s=20

do join <3

I made an adult ych, its my first ever and just wanted to play around

https://www.furaffinity.net/view/51034845/

https://twitter.com/KaazKitty/statu.....QCuGni1T4l5b_Q

Doing a twitter raffle!

title pretty much, i've been thinking of making one!

Im running an icon raffle on my twitter! Join for a chance to win an icon from me!
https://twitter.com/KaazKitty/statu.....-58QH_ofYKw_-w

seriously anyone over 300 watchers doesnt want to talk to me ;(
am i doing something wrong? Am i obnoxious or something?

Like its kinda sad, is there truly nothing for people to write about?

Due to lack of commissions and running out of friends to make gifts for, i decided to maybe try doing some requests.

All i ask is that you follow me on twitter

https://twitter.com/KaazKitty

I would appreciate it if you DMd me your ref there, currently im only doing mammals because i suck :p

Im genuinely so lonely in the art world, i have like maybe 1 fellow arist that im friends with

its kinda sad ;( How do i make artist friends? Nobody wants to talk to me!

Im running an icon ych!

10$ per slot ^w^

Comment on this post to claim
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/50786207/

This is where u can find me:

https://twitter.com/KaazKitty
https://www.reddit.com/user/internetcatalliance
https://www.tumblr.com/kaazarts

And ofc my discord server!
https://discord.gg/WCeCBJ5kdM

Im running an icon raffle on my Twitter

https://twitter.com/KaazKitty/statu.....ddi_9W2br2kbjw

That's the whole journal

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

So remember my last post 2 days ago.
Yeah.... Im not losing 1.4kg a day from malnutrition.

Every meal time is a nightmare, its stressful and scary. And my inner mind wont stop telling me "you fat fuck stop stuffing yourself"
I need to mentally prepare myself to take even a small bite of anything.

But on a positive note i managed to eat some toast and drink a smoothie today? 320 calories in total. Havent eaten in 2 days and i was feeling extremely dizzy and weak. Probably extremely low blood sugar.
Im trying my best....

Yeah ;w; my psychiatrist said it sounds like the beginnings of one, potentially anorexia if untreated.

I just cant bring myself to eat anymore, I feel so panicked by all the numbers, 50 calories sounds like so much...

I haven't eaten more than 100 calories a day in almost 2 weeks. Whenever I do I make myself puke to get rid of it...

Still here, been 3 weeks now.

The psychiatrist took me off the new pills because "no proof they help bpd"

And im not willing to live if the best they can do for me is saying to continue going to therapy, and hoping one day it works.

Im going to kill myself the moment im out of here if that's truly it, and I have exhausted all options.

I cant get new medicine, can't get hope therapy will work, and just... I feel like I lost

There is no more help to be had, nothing

They won't help me, and im too tired to help myself

I think this is a goodbye

Im sorry it had to end this way
I see no other way out of the hell I've been in for the last 4 years. I'm so tired of living. All the hospitals, doctors, pills, a year of therapy, nothing helps me and I came to accept that nothing will.

Im now currently at the hospital again, my 5th time. I ended up here following a suicide attempt.

I think I'll try again

I love you all, and im sorry.

wag wag 20th of December more like kass day of birth *purr*

I cant bother waiting 3 months to MAYBE get it the legit way, every second is killing me and I need it, so I said fuck it and just bought the shit myself, im so happy eee