Time seems to have no concept of... well, time. I distinctly remember, oooh, about 80% of my journals like they were all written within a year or so, but looking at them? Nope, hella-old. Probably doesn't help that I post a journal like, once every 6 months either, but not the point >.> Especially the last... 5 months? Wow, feels less, but yeah, basically this whole year so far has just not existed. I feel like I should still be in February. I'm 20... did I mention that? Yet I remember writing that 'happy 18th' journal clearly and vividly. I've been engaged for a year and a half, and again, a journal I remember writing clear as day. Time seems to be slipping away, faster all the time, and I'm afraid I'm not making the most of it to make the people I love, and myself of course, happy; and yet the worst thing I can say about my self is that I haven't ever held a job as long as I've been engaged for. Is that normal? Is time like this for everyone, or just me?

Sorry for the wall of un-thought-out text, but yeah. Just a thought that I... well, wanted to put up. Also ...! Because they seem to be the focus of this journal :P

TL;DR - dang time is flying this year!

Okay, it's time for a new journal! Warning, this is a waiting-for-resin-to-cure-so-read-FA-and-want-to-respond type of journal. AKA, pointless to 99.99% of you, but I'm bored so I figured I'd post it! :D More on the resin at the end, again, 'cause I feel like it.

First off, the journal post I've just read, is this one (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3210700/). Now, for what started as a quick reply, but turned out to better suit a journal of my own (as it's more about me, and less about the poster >.>).

Actually, I'm half guilty of this in RL quite a bit I'm afraid - though not for the reason a lot of people think. I don't enjoy using people, I actually feel guilty when I don't make my boss at least $150/week after my own wage (small business, money isn't always upfront for repairs).This is (I think) because I grew up alone, and as such, only talk to people when I have something to say. There are times I think I should pop in on someone, just to remind them I am actually a friend, but I rarely actually "talk", if only because I don't think my life is particularly interesting enough to talk about. Another result of this is that I rarely know details of what's going on or when they could use a hand. This wouldn't be such a problem, if I weren't also the type of person who thinks that if someone would like a hand with something, they will (not should, but will, key difference) ask; thus see very little need to volunteer my services, but have no issues asking myself.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'd like your opinions - is this 'bad'? Are there others who are similar? General opinions are also welcome :)

Resin casting is hard; silly bubbles! Silly contamination, causing more bubbles >.< ... at least I think that's what's causing it =\ Anyone with experience in this field and takes pitty on me? :P

.... I think that's it?
Kae out.

Just got my desktop up and running again after about 4 months of dead-ed-ness, and about a month of BS trying to track parts >.< All is well though, now I just need to track down all my personal files that disapeared when it died :D

Really, I just wanted to clear that last journal off my page, but hey, Love you all! ~<3

Vomit! Haven't vomited like that in about eight years. Oh body of mine, what have I done to you now?

Okay, I've an overdue assignment and thus: question time!

I see it all the time, journals and submissions, deleted. I can't for the life of me think why. Everything we think up is worth documenting - if you're viewpoint has changed, update the description! Journals are really no different - they're simply another way to express yourself. The only time I can reasonably think to delete a submission or journal would be if it was for a limited offer which has since expired, but it happens far too often for that to be all. I understand people leave FA, personally if I ever leave everything is staying up but that's just me. Other than that, why?

Why, dear readers, why would you, or any other that you can think of, delete artwork or journals? I'm honestly curious to know.

Thanks folks! Hope you're all keeping well.

But I found the girl of my dreams. So yeah. Just... felt like saying <3

Not only is it an interesting idea, but it's so rare to see the fandom's name attached to anything non-yiff that I just had to share. Click here to see what I'm rambling on about this time! You wont be disappointed! Well, you might be, I mean, I'm not psychic or anything, but seriously, what do you stand to lose? And yes, that sentence has WAAAAY too many comma's in it...

Wait... An actual journal? About actual stuff? Well, it IS 3 am >.>
...
I feel I should put something that no one cares about here; just to, ya know, make it an official FA journal.
...
My favourite colour is green <3

NOTE: This journal is just random stuff that I felt like posting; only minor content.

Damn my brain; for the last week or so it hasn't been working well. Ever since I finished that section of algebra for my maths classes basic logic seems to escape me, I think I should look into something to help with that. A perfect example is about half an hour ago I thought of the perfect thing to post up here on my FA, it wasn't the greatest thing but it would help break it all up, and then went and forgot it! (Ooh, I just remembered it! Maybe a diary is in order to help organise my thoughts? Either way, expect it soon :3)

Also something cool that I saw in a jounal earlier today, how do you think of me? I mean, how do I come across to other people? Obviously I can't tell, as I'm myself and not someone else; so if anyone has any thoughts that jump to mind I'd love to hear them. :)

Mothers day coming up soon folks, only a couple of weeks left. Make sure you get you mum something, family is irreplacable!

I've noticed lately that my spell checker isn't working. I'm using google chrome and got sick of the American spellings, so added in an Australian dictionary as I always do on FireFox; but ever since nothing has been marked. I mean, I type alkhfsjabaklgbaslkbfgsa and it doesn't correct me :( Gunna have to go through the settings *sigh*. Other than that though, I highly reccomend it; especially if you have a LOAD of tabs open like me (about twenty at the moment I think; and I culled a LOT last night). I frequently had 1gig + in memory used in firefox, which not only slowed down other programs, but also ITSELF as it tried to sort through all the data. Chrome probably uses about the same, maybe a /tiny/ bit more, but it breaks it up! Meaning that those fifteen other tabs that I'm keeping open as reminders don't actually slow a great deal down, as the unused portions get relegated to the systems pagefile, while the used tabs get their due.

Also, if anyone watching me collects warhammer 40k, I'm scratch building a stormlord superheavy ^.^ GLEE! Good fun, and (I think) it's gunna look pretty good. Not looking forward to the rivets though...

Yeah, so, that's about it, I think. Hope everyone had a good weekend, and try not to get too down at work/school/laughing at the people who go to one or the other while you stay home!

I'm legally an adult? ... That can't be right...

Yesterday I decided to be more positive. Already my opinion on myself has changed.

TL;DR starts here; it's basically just a small (subjectively, small compared to a report or an essay) recap.

I was a little bored, and a little curious. I have a total of three emails that I've actually used; I move on every few years to a new one, usually when my MSN list fills up with people I don't actually know. My oldest email address has eleven pages of emails that I'd saved by moving them to "drafts", and I never quite bothered to go back through and read them. Of late I've been remembering how I was acting even a few years ago, and being amazed, so I thought 'why not go back through, from oldest to newest?' And that's exactly what I did.

About mid-way, I came across a few emails me and an old friend had exchanged. I haven't talked to her in a few years and I'm kind of sad about that; she's one of the few people I used to hang out with whom I actually miss. Any way, at the time I was (I thought, still haven't figured out if I was or not) head over heels for her, but she had a boy of her own. One night talking I threw a bit of a drama-spaz, and basically threatened to kill myself over her; naturally she was both devastated and annoyed. We emailed back and forth a few times a couple of days later, and she'd forgiven me, but the drama-queen in me wouldn't let it go. I then went and whined to a mutual friend of ours (another friend I miss, actually) that I didn't think she'd actually forgiven me. Later that night I got an email that basically said she was over me acting like a three year old, and I could either believe she'd forgiven me or rack off. Naturally I pulled my head out of my ass and get over it; however re-reading that email yesterday damn near made me cry.

Not many people know, but small things really annoy me; skipping songs mid way through, odd stepping patterns, large crowds are one of the worst, but generally things like that. Anyway, the other week I was out at a shopping center (don't ask me why, I have no money) and someone didn't indicate to turn a corner that I was walking across. I all but yelled at him to learn to use an indicator (to put it politely). My luck? He pulled up next to our car. Now, let it be said, I'm seventeen and have my L plates, naturally he was pissed; but he was also a jerk who was looking for a fight and wouldn't let me get a word in and I thoroughly wish I could have smacked him, if for no other reason than I think he deserved it (I didn't, I'm a geek and would have been introduced to the pavement in about a hundred pieces). Anyways, he was an ass, I was an ass we drove off. To make matters worse for myself (as if being a jerk who probably deserved to be smacked myself wasn't enough) I then had a go at my Mum (yes, that's spelled correctly, I'm an Aussie) for arguing against him for me. Well, as these things go, I was put in my place, and my ego was scratched a bit.

Looking back, I can't believe I did that. I mean, he was both an ass and annoying, but what good could my being an ass to him have done? But then to be a jerk to my Mum? Pointless, and negative; especially when she's having a hard time herself. I'm a firm believer in saying what you mean and not bending it to someone else's will, but that doesn't mean going around and mouthing off at ever chance.

There are other things too; morons who've come and gone and I cling to my hate of them. I've always loathed both sayings, 'forgive and forget', as well as 'if you can't forgive, at least forget.' In my opinion, if someone needs to be forgiven then they need to earn it, and I've always thought "why should I forget something they've clearly given me reason to remember?" Now though, I think I get it; even if I can't forgive them, let it go. Why keep carrying around such a negative emotion?

End TL;DR

Always make sure you're honestly thinking what you're saying, but may-haps don't say everything you think.

Sorry for the public rant that really has nothing to do with anything any of you are likely to care about, but I felt like posting it.

Yes that's right; I've finally put my DA account to use. A mate of mine and me have been playin around in photoshop for the lulz and I actually liked what came out. As it's not furry I figured here wasn't the place to upload it, but it can all be found on my DA page.

Also in relatively exciting news I'll have a tablet Monday ^.^. It's not a massively expensive one, but I just want it to try to improve my drawing talents - if that's at all possible :P. Yay!

I've heard this term used a lot lately in my classes, and felt like rambling on about it.

The physical world is governed by laws. These laws are set in stone and cannot be broken, however they can be negated. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, while two opposites cancel each other out; by this logic, everything,, the world, solar system, an ant, a super nova, a tornado, cancer, love, kindness, the stars,, everything, must come to an end,, an end which would, by logic, be the exact opposite of it's creation.

Yet, not once that I've seen, is this the case;, there is another variable to factor into account: energy. This part-way falls under the afore mentioned 'equal and opposite',, the moment an action occurs, it must counteract itself; this occurs in the real world via a 'cost', that is, for every action performed, the mass performing it loses the same amount of energy the action itself generated. That idea is the basis for something called a 'perpetual motion machine.' Such a machine would take a single charge; that to 'start' it; then continue operating by harnessing the energy created by whatever action it performs and re-iterating it into the machines power supply.

The whole hypothesis however, is hindered by one little factor: loss. Allow me to explain. A car engine's job is to propel the vehicle it's attached to forwards; it does this by driving pistons up and down at the expense of fuel. In the real world, this constant up and down motion of the pistons creates friction, which in turn, costs and produces energy (again, in equal measure). Friction slows the pistons down, costing energy as the engine must work harder to keep the pistons going, however it also creates heat; a form of energy. To return to out perpetual motion machine, the same issues apply; there are numerous factors that drain energy, without outputting an equal amount in the desired manner; that's very important to remember, they do output energy equal to what they cost, just not in the manner, or form, we wish them to (a.k.a. the simplest to harvest).

Assuming however, that we found a way (in space perhaps?) to overcome the aforementioned obstacles, and could create a 'perfect' engine, a.k.a. an engine that works with zero lost energy,, what possible purpose could it serve? In order for it to power anything at all, it would need to drive an additional reactor (additional being in addition to it's own); an action that would cost energy - making the machine non-perpetual. A possible use would be the 'conversion' of matter to a specific kind of energy; or extraction, moreover. That being said, we neither know of any such energy, nor of any specific matter that would benefit from this method of conversion; yet the perpetual motion machine, not to long ago, was thought to be one of the biggest creations that will ever be made. Following a logical progression of facts, this should not be the case; in fact it should be lumped with some of the most useless designs ever.

Science is meant to be, in all cases, hard solid logic; no not fact, logic. Facts are what science produces, they're the end result of the process that is science. In the best of cases, science would be an imperfect art; seeing as until we have all the facts, any logic progression will be based upon only half truths,, and when we have all the facts, science will be obsolete, as there will be nothing new to discover. This means, however, that at the worst of times, there should be one set 'correct' and one (or more) 'incorrect' hypotheses - some of which would be 'completely incorrect', meaning there is proof against them,, and some would be 'incomplete incorrect', meaning they are incorrect but cannot be proven such until more facts are refined. In any case, it should be a simple matter to discover when a dead end is reached, to allow valuable time to be spent on non-dead research, until such a time as the old research can be revived.

But once again, there is a variable not being taken into account: perspective. Perspective is every sentient races greatest blessing, and their worst curse. At best, perspective is the entire basis for our personalities, it's what makes us unique; you can allocate several other reasons to that as well, but in the end they all come back to perspective. At its worst, perspective is the cause for every non-natural problem that has ever, or will ever exist. If perspective didn't exist, war wouldn't exist, differences wouldn't exist, polar opposites such as happiness and despair wouldn't exist, and we would have a 'perfect colonisational society'. If you think that sounds like a good thing, let me take a minute to explain it. What that means is we would all be working to the same ends, in the same manner, for the same reasons,, with less difference between us than ants have now; we would be mindless drones, except there would be no 'master'.

In this world, ruled by sentient beings, no matter how hard you try, no matter how perfect your 'logic', you will never be able to create a perfectly logical progression of facts. You will always see only what you understand, you will always be different, you will always disagree, you will always hate; and yet, for the same reasons, you'll know there's more than what you see, you will always have something no matter how different, you will always learn so long as you're willing to admit when you're wrong, and you will always love. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, human psychology is no exception.

If anyone read that I want you to answer me a single question: how does anyone know if someone is 'insane'?

Yes, I've started a new one *sighs at his own helplessness* HOWEVER! Unlike the others, I actually have a plot /somewhat/ figured out for this one! Oh, Em, Gee!

Also, as I stated, I'm not giving up on my old projects! I just have a holiday, and thought that now would be a good time to try a new writing style I've wanted to try out for /ever/. Besides, I've had this story banging around in my head now for a few days, and thought, 'I've been given the time, the desire, the plot, AND enthusiasm to do it. Well SHIT HOT!'.

Anyways, FINALLY, a real journal out of me! =o I know.

Love freely;
Give generously,
If you're using backspace as the up arrow -
GO TO BED!

/obeys self and tucks in.

I'd like to thank everyone at 4chan for making me successful and happy.

Why is it; that on an ART website, I get TRIPPLE the amount of journal messages as I do submissions? SERIOUS! NO ONE GIVES A SHIT!

Sorry to all the people watching me, I know this just contributes to all the mass journal spam that seems to have started up lately, but I can't fucking stand logging in only to find an artist posting eight fucking journals all within an hour or so, THERE'S A FUCKING EDIT BUTTON FOR A REASON!

Oh, and for the people that are waiting on the next installation of the Elementalist, it's coming. After my tafe work. After my social life. After my sleep. But it's coming.


\randomragerant

So, after living here for about a month and a half, I finally have my stuff >_> which means? Well, not a lot really... just felt like sayin summin :P

Should be getting a job soon too... and in a field that I actually like! I think that makes me one of about 8% of the population who actually has a job they like ^-^

Hope every one had a great chrissie! I spent basically all of it running around helping out... but I don't mind, happy to help =)

Merry Christmas, and a happy new year all of ya! ... Hope the hangovers go quickly ;)

four uploads in a row? this is unheard of for me! hehe.

Lets start at the middle (its unapreciated) with 'a feild of red'. My thanks go to miss vixyy ( vixyyfox) for pointing out about a million grammar errors in it, and for being patient with a begginer such as myself.

'Elementalist' now has two parts, yay! the first one haas been altered slightly, mainly just at the end there. the second... well, I meant to do something with it, i swear! I have it all in my head, i just didn't have time. I'll try extra hard on part three to make it up too you all! promise~<3

Finally, 'On the road again...' is me~ its my fursona, yay! It always bugged me not having a visual representaion of myself, now I do, and I love it (thanks to  Amun for being patient and awesome!)

ooh, and I've pre-ordered / pre-paid for Brisingr, the lastest in the eragon series, coming to you (us aussies at least) on the 20th! cant wait!~

Love, Hugs, and a nice hot chocolate to you all;
Kae.

Shows how much time I have these days *just nukes over 900 submitions and journals* =

I tried to go through them, but in general...
To everyone I'm watching:
Im sorry ^-^' You guys are great! never think otherwise (I wouldn't be watching you if ya wern't)!

To absolutely everyone:
Take it easy;
Have fun;
Be proud;

And remember, Its never to late, nor to early to change something you dont like!
[/wiseguymode]

^-^

Havn't been here much of late have i? *is proven by the last majorly outdated journal.... Sooooo, thought i may aswell change it xD err, yeah :P

Hey guys 'nd gals!

Hope everyone had a merry Christmas and a great new years! (and hopefully no one was too hung over the next day )

So the season has come and gone, and alas, I still havn't submitted any more of my story ANYWAYS, i was wondering if anyone knew of any good rave / trance artists on here? my collection is quite pathetic atm

loves to all!

sorry 'bout the lack of uploads :( been busy wid college work and wat not (still am, but less so)... sooooo.... if i can get off mah lazeh ass and finish it, we may well have a new story up soon (hurrah)... so yeah *smiles...

Love ya all!

Vixyyfox and foshu! i love both of you! *hugs tightly
Its thanks to these too that i can now show what i really am! a wolf (not a penguin :) )

also, a huge thank you to poetigress, for without her prompts, i would most likely not have started writing (story wise), so thank you!

and, yet another thank you to everyone who has watched me, faved my work, or even given advice! i love all of you!

dont ya rekon? >.>

erm... (damned permanent mental blank >.<)

to the people out there watching me, thanks guys ^^ i actually didnt expect it, and i know i know, i need to submit stuff, but i cant write unless i'm really in the mood (which is, unfortunately, usually also a very depressing mood >.<). currently got CS2, and i should probably try finishing of the drawing i started... so sorry to everyone, but it may be a while before anything new gets put up here... or MADE for that fact ^^;

love ya all

*I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

*I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

*I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

*I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

*We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

*I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

*I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

*I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

*I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

*We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

*I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

*I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

*I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

*I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

*I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

*I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

*I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

*I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.

*I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

*I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia/transphobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.