Hello everyone,

Ok so long story short, yesterday I met with the accountant at work (who I cannot stand a bit) to get reimbursement for some money ($100 exactly imagine that) I spent for the club. I was expecting to receive a check as I assumed was standard procedure. INCORRECT! I walk into her office and she hands me singles....fucking a hundred singles. Who the hell gives one hundred singles!? x.x

Well at least it's still money. But while I have it and I got it from someone I can't stand, I figured I may as well have fun with it. Excuse me while I recreate this scene from South Park http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHdh6LiBKZM crappy video quality is crappy >.<

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello everyone,

Well my tournament on Saturday went rather well. The event was team based and we can in 3rd place as a team losing by a shot. Oh well that high of a finish after almost 2 years without competition is not bad. My highlights were my drives in which I averaged 320 off the tee (with a 349 and 366 yard drives in there) and the 3 birdies I made on the last 3 holes (the best was the 202 yard 17th in which I stuck a 6-iron to 5 feet) which put us in solo-third. Up next is a event on December 17th at Lake Buena Vista Golf Club in Orlando FL. If I make it past the cut I lose my amateur status as a player which would be cool. So I will be hard to get in contact with next 2 weeks as I will be training and practicing to prepare. Here's to good things!

Other than that I had a good weekend. I watched the SEC Championship football game which was one of the best I've EVER seen. Unfortunately my favorite team UGA came up a day late and a dollar short and lost to Bama and lost a chance to go the National Title game but oh well. Both teams played good enough to win but one had to loss so I'll get geared up for the bowl game and next season.

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello everyone,

I'm headed up to Atlanta for a golf tournament tomorrow (kinda wish I was going to the SEC Championship too >.>) that I'm very excited about. I haven't been in competition in a long time and it's been great to get all these old feelings back. I all excited and giddy and that thrill of competing is like a drug to me. Once I have a taste I can't wait to have more, and it's great to experience it again. Hopefully it will be this good for the next one mid-December

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello everyone,

I'm trying to decide between two different kinds of computers. I narrowed it down to either a laptop-tablet convertible or a all-in-one touchscreen desktop. I like the convertible so I can use it as a normal laptop at my desk doing work or watching tv and using as a tablet when I do things around my apartment. The all-in-one I like for the touchscreen capability and just being able to come home and tap my computer and works. It also has saves space on this small desk (I need to get a bigger one) and I like the touch version of Windows 8. <not a typo

What do y'all think is the better computer?

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Yesh yesh today is a national holiday celebrating one of the greatest things ever...COOKIES!

Being the little cookie monster I am, I went out and bought a cookie cake after work :D My favorite cookie is peanut butter chocolate chip.

What's yours?

Usually I shy away from talking politics with anyone. However, on the eve of the election and getting crap about this I will state I just don't want to vote I refuse to do so.

Honestly I can't find a good choice in either of the two candidates. I've looked at each side, looked at them up, down, forward, and backward and yet I can't find anything in them that deserves my vote. They both have lied, cheated, and backstabbed to get where they are. I'm tired of having the choose between the two assholes, and not just in this election but everyone of them. I'm ready for a real politician to stand up, not two puppets on strings. When I was a younger soul I was all into politics and changing the scope. Myself and four friends created a new age Republican that embraced a younger generation of voters. We openly supported gay rights and later sponsored the creation of LGBT support group on campus, and now 5 years later is run by an openly bi-sexual president and lesbian vice president. Even after all that I can't stand that sleeze-bag Mitt Romeny and he does not get my support.

Who ever you do vote for I could not care less. We shall get what we deserve, all I hope is that things get better. With an economy in the tanks, high unemployment, and the northeast in ruins things could barely get worse.

This is my first night off in 12 days. So excuse this cub while she goes to bed early and catches the sale on candy tomorrow while she buys groceries XD

Happy Halloween!
KaGe

Hello everyone,

Well today was my last full day in the great Austin Texas. I got myself a new job back in my birth state of Georgia, working at a high end golf course on the north side of Macon (which is pretty much in the middle of the state). It's a promotion from the position I have now with more money and less hours, hard to say no. I am going on mini-vacation with the family to Oklahoma City for 2 days, hoping to see the JFK assassination site on the way up and the OKC bombing site. I pack the UHaul on the 8th, stop half-way in Baton Rouge on the 9th, and arrive in Macon the 10th.

I am still not ready to leave Austin yet. I may have only spent a year here, but it became home to me rather quickly. There were a few ugly moments, but the furry friends (and non-furry friends for that matter) I made here helped me get back on my feet and develop an appreciation for Austin. I am going to miss everyone and everything about this place. I wish you all the best and hope to see you again soon. And now that I am out of college maybe I can actually attend some fur meets in Georgia.

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

...well not right now, but tomorrow

I gotta open at work (that alarm at 3:45am is gonna suck) but when I get off a one I'm driving straight there. Got a job interview with a new golf course called Copper Mill. Looking forward to it, just not the drive.

I'll see y'all in couple days

KaGe

The mind is a very powerful thing especially driven by raw emotion such as joy or sadness. The emotion which has controlled the majority of my life, even more so recently, is fear. Fear is defined as sensing danger or discomfort due to some type of stimulus. It seems so simple put that way but to me it feels more difficult. Fear is such a consuming emotion, it controls your actions and words. Fear drives me to a state of absolute paralysis. I freeze up and lock down.

I am afraid of many things. I am afraid I will lose my job, not making my parents proud, losing my little sister, friends walking away, and ending up alone. I let these fears drive me to lie and take advantage of the ones I care for most. Fear allows me to be abused at work so I never have to say no and pick up some many shifts I end up work 60 hours a week. Fear allows me to lie to my parents about who I am so they do not have to go through the pain of having a "faggot son". Fear allows me to take advantage of my little sister and how she constantly looks out of me. Fear allows me to lie to friends I so I never have to say I'm not in the mood to hang out or that I don't want to talk or hang out them. Fear allows me to shield my other emotions people I want to spend time with, people who could be something special in my life.

Why do I succumb to this fear so heavily? I am more afraid of what happens if I let myself out. I am petrified of saying no to my boss, of telling my parents I am interested in guys, that I should be one looking after my little sister, telling friends what is actually going on with me, and telling people how I actually feel about them. The truth is the scariest thing to me. Lying is easier than telling the truth. I can just lie and get away with it most of the time. Most of the time that is, lately the lies have come crashing in on me. I seemed to have blocked myself in a corner, and this is not the first time. Usually all I do is lay low and manage, but my conscience has been driving me up the wall. I feel like it's time to turn over a new leaf in my life. It's time to I live before I let my lies bury me forever and never get to feel anything real again.

Thanks for reading, (hopefully someone will read this wall of text)
KaGe

I went to a furry bday party on Saturday night. Got there a little late to find that most of the cakes (one of a fox and one of a wolf) had been eaten. Expect of the heads. So after a little joking back and forth I decided someone must eat the head of one of them.

and to clarify: I was not drunk (nor high for that matter) and there was no money riding on this

OH and leave it to a cub to eat a cake with bear paws hehe ^^

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt3OeUAdOxg

There's not many things I like doing more than just hoping in my Escape and driving. No destination, no direction, just rolling down the road. Especially at night with the stars out and sunroof open. Just takes my mind off some many things, which I need to do. Been a hectic month or so. Working more than ever before, got denied a promotion, got a raise, re-built my golf swing, and had family in town. I've been wanting some time to myself for awhile, and if wasting gas is the way I have to do it I will LOL

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

 samtoxxthefoxx is holding a contest for both girls and boys. There is only gonna be 8 spots open so act fast.

link to journal here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3266221/

Love/ Relationship survey:

-Current relationship status: Single

-Longest relationship: 11 months

-Shortest relationship: 2 months

-How many people have you broken up with?: 5, 3 girls and 2 guys

-How many people have broken up with you?: ummm I guess I could say 3

-How many times has circumstance ended the relationship?: I’m gonna say 2, once we knew it just wasn’t right and the other with life getting in the way

-How many times have you truly been in love?: once really

-How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you?: all?

-Have you ever thought that you were going to marry the person you were with?: yeah I did there for a long time

-Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?: si

-Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?: Once

-Have you ever cried over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: yes

-Are you happier single or in a relationship?: Right now single

-Have you ever been cheated on?: yeah my 1st girlfriend f**king b***h

-Have you ever cheated?: nope

-What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex?: err….ummmm…leaving this one blank

-What makes you melt?: make that 2 blanks in a row

-What is the best part of being in a relationship?: 3 in a row

-What is the worst part of being in a relationship?: feeling tied down and worried about someone else, clouds my judgment

-Worst relationship? That first girlfriend, and my first one ever

-Have you ever had your heart broken?: yes, still finding pieces

-Have you ever broken someone's heart?: probably

-Do you talk to any of your exes?: all but that first girlfriend

-If you could go back in time and change things to where you could still be with one of your exes, would you?: In a moments’ notice

-Do you think any of your exes feel the same way?: don’t know, not really sure if I want to

-What is your type?: ummmmm alive?

-Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?: Probably not

-Have you dated people who were not good to you?: that first girlfriend

-Have you been in an abusive relationship?: nope

-Have you ever had sex with someone just so that they would stay with you?: Oh God No

-Have you ever had sexual fantasies about one of your exes?: blank again

-Have you dated someone older then you?: yeah 4 out of 5 times

-Younger?: the first girlfriend

-What is one thing that all of your exes had in common?: never really crossed my mind

-Have u ever done anything sexual with your girlfriend/boyfriend in front of your parents?: that would just be rude

-In the movies?: nah

-Anywhere outside?: no?

-Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Yeah

-Have you ever cried for more then 3 hours about a boyfriend or girlfriend?: correct again sir

-When is the last time that you were in a relationship?: 5 months ago

-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?: There are the few who don’t deserve it

-Believe in love at first sight?: yeah I think it could happen

-Ever dated two people at once?: yep

-What's the perfect date: ass in the water, toes in the sand, and a cold drink in my hand

-Ever been given a promise ring?: nope

-Do you have something to say to any of your exs?: If I do, they know it by now

-Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend?: nope despite the temptations

-Ever liked someone elses boyfriend or girlfriend?: Yes

-Do you believe in true love?: It exist for some people

-Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?: Yeah

-Do you think that you will/or have found the love of your life?: Gonna be tough

Water falling from the sky is simply how it is described. But it just feels so much more than that.

Most people see the rain as gloomy, depressing, or dispiriting. This is easy to understand, it is associated with many bad things in life. It is a part of tornadoes, hurricanes, and flash floods which ruin lives, destroy landscapes, and extinguish the hard work of people. It is as used to express scenes of depression, lost, and sadness in many books, movies, and music. “Cause there’ll be no sunlight/if I lose you, baby/There’ll be no clear skies/ if I lose you, baby/Just like the clouds/my eyes will do the same if you walk away/Everyday it will rain,/rain, rain.” (Bruno Mars It Will Rain).

Yet there is more to rain than just something bad, there is a good. There are those who see beauty in the rain, “I do remember the rain. My grandmother had a farm in central brook, and she use to tell me God is in the rain” (Alan Moore V for Vendetta). Rain is such a vital part of life, it replenishes the Earth. Without the rain plants cannot live and provides the landscape with cooler temperatures. It is such a limited resource and we need to cherish it.

I see the rain as an old friend come to visit again, as something encouraging, exhilarating, and uplifting. It is a friend reminding me what it is like to live when I stand with it, comforts me, and provides a sense of washing away sins to start anew. I have always found I feel more at home with the rain is around, I am never hesitant to go out in, and discovered it was raining the day I was born.

What are your thoughts on the rain? Do you see it as something gloomy or as something cheerful?

There I said it!

I cannot stand horses, they just freak me out. *shivers* I've been afraid of them since I was a kid and never really gotten over it. Heck I won't even watch MLP or whatever because my skin just crawls.

I had one jump the fence onto our property at work, I about lost my mind. I was panicking trying to keep it away from golfers til the cops showed up. It would start running in my general my direction and I screamed like a little girl.

*hides under her bed* tell me when the horses are gone

I was in the parking lot of What-a-burger talking on the phone to Ozzie and Tavi. All of the sudden this guy came out of the building in the shortest pair of shorts I've ever seen. They couldn't have been longer than 3 inches from waistline to lowest part of the leg. I have boxers longer than these shorts. I mean this guy gets a hard-on, and it's a free show coming out the bottom of these things. I couldn't peel my eyes off this guy, I was meserised by the shorts. He was outside wiping down his car and as he stretched I got a full view of his right ass cheek. I almost lost it right there. After he got done with his car he went back inside. He came out a minute later with wife and kid, he got stuck carrying the purse and Barnie plushie. Pretty sure I just had my week made tonight, hell maybe my month XD

Stole this journal from  pensive and  circuspeanut

KaGe came out of 2 things, boredom and rebellion. I went to a very small college in small town USA, there really wasn't a lot to do. I would spend a bunch of nights not really doing anything, so I made up this fursona to enter a different world. I also wanted to be a bit rebellious. I was a very sheltered child and I wanted to find a way to break out. I'd heard of furries through TV and whatnot but was punished for pursuing anything dealing with it. Being at college I didn't have to worry about my parents looking over my shoulder so I decided to enter the fandom.

That being said, my original fursona design was...blank for lack of a better word. I choose the species grizzly bear, after getting the nickname bear from baseball and being called a giant teddy bear. His fur color was ordinary with no special patterns. I gave him green eyes being green is my favorite color. I gave him my nickname I've gone by for most my life of KaGe (my dad said I belonged in a cage as a kid, it stuck but I learned to spell it wrong XD)

As I discovered who I was in college (sexuality, politics, etc.) my fursona began to change. KaGe slowly strated to change. The furry fandom was my first step into my rebellious phase, next came AB/DL. I started to indulge those fantasies and thus KaGe was now a babyfur. As time continued to pass, and I began to openly admitted to begin homosexual, KaGe then became a sissy.

I then wanted to change the way KaGe looked. He was so boring to me, nothing special about him. I rebuilt him from the ground up. I kept grizzly bear as species and kept him a sissy cub. I changed the color of the paws to red brown, except the left hand which is black. Suppose to symbolize how the whole left side my body is riddled with surgeries. I made the head fur black because at the time I dyied my own hair black. I made the left I pink because I could really LOL

KaGe continues to change as I do, I think he well now she needs to as I do. She is suppose to represent me, and being stuck on one thing is no good for me. I have plans to update her again. Big changes after big changes in my life after college. ^^

What about y'all? I know there has to be good stories and reasons behind people's fursonas

Hello everyone,

Decided to finally say "F**K You!" to Verizon and cancel that messed up plan I had with them. I went and got an AT&T Go Phone. It's an Android, and I love it. There's just one problem...I don't know how to use it LOL 1) it's a touchscreen, with my big fingers that an entertaining show to watch me type on this thing 2) I have no idea how to use the moblie web or anything on it, took me 10 minutes to figure out how to make a phone call >.>

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello everyone,

I have a problem trusting people. I feel like no matter how many people I run I across the world is still out to get me. Even with my friends, they do all they can to help me and yet I still feel I need to keep tabs on them for a "just in case" scenario. I can't remember a time I wasn't like that, I always hoped the more friends I made and people I got to know it would go away. Yet I feel like it only gets worse. I wish I knew what caused it but the only I can think of is being picked on and being an outcast as a child.

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello Birthday,

It's that time of year again, I get one year older. I turn 23 officially around the time of high noon. Not really doing anything too special. Gotta go into work early, my co-worker quit on Thursday and now were understaffed. After work I plan on going to Waffle House and ordering the greasiest thing they have with a Coke and piece of chocolate pie :D

Thanks for reading,
KaGe

Hello everyone,

Flying out of Austin tomorrow night and will be back the 26th. Woo airport hustle and bustle! I'm lookin forward to bein back in Georgia but not so much the flight. I'm not afraid of flying...I would call it afraid of crashing. I know I know it's the safest form of travel whatever. Still scares the be-jesus outta me. I usually have to grip onto the seat on take-off and landing.

Anyways >.> Y'all have a Merry or Happy whichever holiday you prefer. See y'all in about a week.

Oh might as well share my favorite Christmas song.
Alabama - Christmas in Dixie
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg81vGuZx7k

I lost a bet with my boss yesterday. Loser of the golf match had to go see Yo Gabba Gabba Live in Cedar Park.

Well I got my ass rocked and lost by 7 shots. So now I have to go see it. Which means they are basically sending an adult toddler to see a toddler show. Now really sure if I won or lost this bet XD

Running away from my problems is very easy for me. I’ve been doing it for so long, I’ve become rather numb about doing so. I lead my father to believe he fixed me, that he cured what was wrong with me.

My father and I use to be such great friends, I was his “little hot rod” he use to call me. I loved to just be in his presence. I had dreams of becoming a father, having kids, and continuing the name he and I both share. Then things changed, as I got older we began to fight more than agree and I rebelled. I started breaking curfew, ignoring phone calls and texts, and wearing clothes he hated. We grew to be enemies..and it only got worse. I feel in love with someone and that’s when things got darkest. He discovered my “affair” (as he called it) with another male. I’ve never seen him so angry and now that I look back, I saw hurt in his eyes. However, I was hurt as well. I felt as if he was treating me like a possession and not his son. That summer I came back from school to not the best of settings. The day I moved in, my car, television, computer, and phone were taken away. I was only allowed to go to my summer job and practice. While I was not a work or at practice I was given lectures and other things to help fix my problem or I would sit in silence in my room. I even started seeing a preacher at a local church to talk about my problem. I then lied to him about being fixed saying things like I was feeling better and less confused (which was not entirely a lie, just in that context). Since then I have been giving lie after lie to him about what I am doing and people I am interested in.

I feel it is time for me to come clean to him, man to man, father to son. I believe I have earned the right to live life the way I want it be. I am living a dream I vowed to him 10 years ago while lying in a hospital bed. People told me for a long time to give up and that I was thinking unrealistically, and even he at one point must have thought I was out of my mind (and I’m doing it while being “broken”). I believe we’ve gotten past the point where he can get in my face and tell me what to do. I’ve paid my dos and going after what I think I’m worth. I just hope he and I can look past our differences and come back to being friends again. I never meant to hurt him. If I could take back the pain and retrace every wrong move I would but my only option now is to stand up and take the blame.

I tell y’all this so many you can get a better understanding of the way I am. Most people will read this and think I’m crazy, but maybe one person will read this and be inspired.

by  crystalkat180

First off.... Rules!
1. You must post these rules (Very Important indeed).
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
6. No tag backs.
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately (AKA, really, truly, with all honesty) have to tag 11 people.

Things About Me:

1. I'm a huge music fan. I have almost every genre just wish I could play or make music
2. I'm a very emotional person most of time. It's easy to tell how I am doing by looking at me
3. I love the skateboarder look but I can't skateboard to save my life
4. I'm a fan of romantic movies. I cry at the end >.>
5. I'm very cold natured for someone from the south. It's 50 outside and I don't need a jacket
6. I tend to very lazy XD
7. I read a lot of random news articles and magazines about nothing of any importance
8. I love to drive around wtih no place to go. Some of my best adventures started that way
9. I can't sleep in. I can go to bed at 2am and be up at 8:30am like nothing happened
10. I cannot hold my alcohol well. I am a VERY cheap date
11. I am a die heart fan of sports. I live and die by my favorite teams

Questions from Tagger

1. DO YOU LIKE WAFFLES?
2. Name an anime other than Naruto and Bleach.
3. What's the most expensive piece of clothing you own?
4. What kind of games do you prefer, if any?
5. Favorite video game, if any?
6. Which game piece are you in Monopoly?
7. Do you like soda? If so, what's your favorite?
8. Who's your favorite comedian?
9. Do you work?
10. Favorite Pick up line you've heard?
11. Favorite Eye color in the sex(es) you're attracted to?

1. Meh I guess I can be
2. Damn my lack of anime knowledge! XD I guess Full Metal Alchemist is one
3. I have 2 $60 Under Armor thermal undershirts. Cold Weather aint gonna stop me from golfing.
4. It has to be sports games, only kind I'm less than sucky at
5. Any Tiger Woods game if can imagine that
6. The car man!
7. I love Coke! I have at least one a day :D
8. OH that's a hard one! It would probably be Robin Williams or Lewis Black
9. 6 days a week baby :D I love my job
10. "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me"
11. Either blue or brown (what can I say brown has this mysterious thing with me)

Questions for Tagged

1. Are you afraid of spiders?
2. Have you played any sports in high school?
3. What's your favorite candy bar?
4. Fast zombies or slow zombies?
5. What was the most humiliated thing you have done in your life?
6. What's your favorite type of music?
7. Out of these 4, which would be the best voice to have? Morgan Freeman, Peter Cullen(Optimus Prime), Jim Carrey, or Arnold Schwarzenegger?
8. Do you workout?
9. Have you ever been into a relationship with someone?
10. Have you ever kissed someone?
11. Who is your role model and why?

1. Not really, just don't like seeing them where they don't belong
2. I played golf
3. Does Reese's Peanut Butter Cups count? ^^
4. Zombies are suppose to be slow
5. I got pants at a school function in front of everyone
6. I like music with rock and hip hop inspirations. Like Linkin Park, Hollywood Undead, and Eminem
7. Man that would have to either Morgan Freeman aka the voice of God or Peter Cullen I want everything I say to be dramatic like that
8. I have been lately, let myself go over the last year
9. Been in a few
10. Yep
11. That's a hard one. I have many for the same reason. Many said they would never be able to do what they dreamed and told them to give up. That happened a lot to me and I look to those people for inspiration and courage.

Alright I would tag peoples but I gotta head to work. I'm almost late! (this took way longer than I expected)