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This Again
Posted 10 years agoHasn't even been a whole day and I already want to return to Bryan. Hamza dropped me off in Austin at 8pm for the flight back to Lubbock. The plane hadn't even left the gate before I was already in tears. Get to Lubbock at midnight and I come into my room to the stench of cat pee. To make it worse, my bed also reaked of it. Only reason I returned to this shit hole is because I need to win custody of my son first.
Many Thanks
Posted 10 years agoThank you for the birthday wishes everyone. Spent today and my birthday with Hamza and his family. We went swimming, rode around in the golf cart and then we grilled. It was a very memorable day and I can't wait for the many to come in which I celebrate with my handsome mate and his wonderful family.
Happy Anniversary
Posted 10 years agoToday marks 2yrs in my relationship with my handsome 
. Due to money issues, we are unable to spend this day together. So in honor of this day, I'm going to be using the very icon that attracted Hamza to my profile.
I love you baby and these past 2yrs have been the best. ♡♡♡
. Due to money issues, we are unable to spend this day together. So in honor of this day, I'm going to be using the very icon that attracted Hamza to my profile.I love you baby and these past 2yrs have been the best. ♡♡♡
Couples Meme
Posted 10 years ago◦ ♡ STOLEN FROM ♡ ◦
1. Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend?
-
Donyakavetta 2. How did you two meet?
- On Chatango, he approached me due to my icon at the time and asked if I was up for a RolePlay
3. When did y'all officially start dating?
- April 21, 2013
4. Did you meet online?
- Yes
5. What attracted you the most to him/her?
- I honestly cant put it into words, but I was drawn to him like a moth to the flame.
6. Is he/she what you expected?
- Not in the least. I have never been with a guy like Hamza.
7. Did you kiss on your first date?
- I dont think we had a "First Date". lol
8. When did you first have sex?
- The very night we met face to face. Best night of my life.
9. Do you live with them?
- Sadly, no.
10. Are they snugglers?
- He certainly is.
11. What was the last compliment they gave you?
- "You look perfect even without makeup, darlin."
12. How long have you been dating?
- Almost 2yrs now.
13. Would you spend the rest of your life with them?
- Hell Yeah!
14. When will you see them next?
- Whenever he gets home from work today.
15. What interests do you share?
- RolePlay, Games, Movies, and a few others.
16. Is there something you regret?
- There is always something to regret.
17. What was the last thing he/she gave you?
- A kiss this morning before leaving for work.
18. What was the last thing you gave him/her?
- A kiss before he left for work.
19. Are you taller or shorter than them?
- Shorter.
20. What is their personality?
- Kind and gentle beneath a rough shell. He is my teddy bear.
21. Are they a furry?
- Oh yeah. lol
22. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
- Doesnt matter as long as Hamza is beside me.
65 Question Meme
Posted 10 years ago◦ ♡ STOLEN FROM ♡ ◦
65 Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked 
1. First thing you wash in the shower?
- My face
2. What color is your favorite hoodie?
- Black
3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
- Yes, I would kiss him every day if I could
4. Do you plan outfits?
- Not a lot
5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
- Cute and Cuddly
6. What's the closest thing to you that's red
-McDonald's trash
7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?
- Rather not speak of it
8. Did you meet anybody new today?
- Nope
9. What are you craving right now?
- Raw meat
10. Do you floss?
- Rarely. Never have any on hand.
11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
- Boiled
12. Are you emotional?
- Yes
13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
- Yes
14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
- I lick em
15. Do you like your hair?
- No -.-
16. Do you like yourself?
- Haha no
17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
- Not unless you pay me
18. What are you listening to right now?
- Black Butler anime
19. Are your parents strict?
- My mother is
20. Would you go sky diving?
- Pay me a thousand dollars then we'll talk
21. Do you like cottage cheese?
- Kinda
22. Have you ever met a celebrity?
- I know some band members
23. Do you rent movies often?
- Nope
24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
- Yes
25. How many countries have you visited?
- 1
26. Have you made a prank phone call?
- Oh yes
27. Ever been on a train?
- Not that I can remember
28. Brown or white eggs?
- Doesn't matter to me
29. Do you have a cell-phone?
- Yes
30. Do you use chap stick?
- Yep
31. Do you own a gun?
- No
32. Can you use chop sticks?
- Yes
33. Who are you going to be with tonight?
- No one
34. Are you too forgiving?
- Depends on the person
35. Ever been in love?
- Every day
36. What is your friend(s) doing tomorrow (or the next soonest week day)?
- Don't know. Don't have alot of friends.
37. Ever have cream puffs?
- Nope
38. Last time you cried?
- 3/12/2015
39. What was the last question you asked?
- "Got a needle I can use? Need to fix one of my bras."
40. favorite time of the year?
- Spring
41. Do you have any tattoos?
- Not yet. I have 4 planned.
42. Are you sarcastic?
- When I want to
43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
- Nope
44. Ever walked into a wall?
- Yes -.-
45. Favorite color?
- Silver
46. Have you ever slapped someone?
- Yes
47. Is your hair curly?
- No
48. What was the last CD you bought?
- Its by Tim McGraw
49. Do looks matter?
- No
50. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
- Depends on the circumstances
51. Is your phone bill sky high?
- No
52. Do you like your life right now?
- Some what
53. Do you sleep with the TV on?
- Rarely
54. Can you handle the truth?
- Sometimes
55. Do you have good vision?
- No, I need either contacts or glasses
56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?
- Yes
57. How often do you talk on the phone?
- I txt just about everyday
58. The last person you held hands with?
- Hamza
59. What are you wearing?
- Purple tank top and black jeans
60.What is your favorite animal?
- Horses
61. Where was your favorite picture taken at?
- On a farm in Michigan with my first horse
62. Can you hula hoop?
- Yes
63. Do you have a job?
- No
64. What was the most recent thing you bought?
- A sex toy
65. Have you ever crawled through a window?
- Yes
100 Question Meme
Posted 10 years ago◦ ♡ STOLEN FROM ♡ ◦
1. Last kiss
Last night
2. Last phone call
Saturday to my Mother
3. Last text message
Friday from a family friend
4. Last song you listened to
Jason Aldean - Keep The Girl
5. Last time you cried
3/12/2015
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice
Yeah, that was my mistake for giving em a second chance
7. Been cheated on
Sadly yes
8. Self harmed
No
9. Lost someone special
Aye, many times
10. Been depressed
A few times
11. Been drunk and threw up
Nope
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: ((ADULT CONTENT/TMI))
12. had sex
Every chance I get
13. How many people have you had sex with this year?
A single soul and he knows who he is
15. Made a new friend
Aye and Im enjoying it
17. Laughed until you cried?
Yes, it was a joke towards my cousin
18. Met someone who changed you
Nope
19. Found out who your true friends were
No
20. Found out someone was talking about you
Its the same person almost every time
26. What did you do for your last Birthday
Sex and Dinner
27. What time did you wake up today
10:30am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for
New, better job
30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time
3/10/2015
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life
Nothing, everything in my past has lead me to were Im at today.
32. What are you listening to right now
Silence is oh so golden
33. When is the last time you had sex?
Last night
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now
No one
35. Most visited webpage
FA and ChickenSmoothie
36. Favorite colour
Silver
37. Nicknames
Cucu, Cubby, Cucumber, Luna, and LunaStar
38. Relationship Status
Happily Taken
39. Zodiac sign
Cancer
40. Male or female
Female and attracted to Males
41. Primary School
NA
42. Secondary School
Again NA
43. High school/college
Seriously? NA! -.-
44. Eye color
Brown
46. Height
5'4"
47. Do you have a crush on someone
Yes I do
48. What do you like about yourself
My eyes
49. Piercings ((ADULT/TMI))
Bellybutton
50. Tattoos
None but I have some planned
51. Righty or lefty
Right
FIRSTS:
53. First piercing
Bellybutton at age 18yrs
54. First best friend
Melissa Gale, known since I was 7yrs
55. First hookup
In church
56. Latest Bestfriend
No one
RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating
Nothing
60. Drinking
Coffee
61. I'm about to ((ADULT/TMI))
Change into something special for my fox
62. Listening to
The silence
63. Waiting for
My mate to come home
YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids?
No more
65. Get married?
Hopefully
66. Career
Unknown at this point
WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes
The eyes, one can get lost in a gaze
68. Hugs or kisses
Hugs
69. Shorter or taller
Funsize
70. Older or Younger
Kids are fun
71. Romantic or spontaneous
Both are enjoyable
72. Nice stomach or nice arms
Arms
73. Sensitive or loud
Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship
Relationship
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger
Yes
77. Drank hard liquor
Yes, want more
78. Lost glasses/contacts
Yes on both
79. Had sex
Tons
80. Broken someone's heart
Yes, I always seem to be the one to end relationships
82. Been arrested
No
83. Turned someone down
Many times
84. Cried when someone died
Yes
85. Fallen for a friend
Yes, but didnt end well
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself
Not all the time
87. Miracles
Yes
88. Love at first sight
Yes
89. Heaven
Yes
90. Santa Clause
No
91. Kiss on the first date
Very much so
92. Angels
Yes
93. How would you label yourself?
A loner
94. Someone You Pray Everyday For
No one
95. Did you sing today
No
96. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About
None
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?
Far enough to kick the ass of my first ex boyfriend
98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wiish for?
Acceptance
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Not in the least
100. Do you like the way you look?
Aside from my ass and thigh, Yes
IMVU Disclaimer
Posted 10 years ago◦ ♡ PROVIDED BY ♡ ◦
I'd rather be on the safe side and protect my rights to all posts made on my profile.
This post is to henceforth give due notice and regard to the proprietor known as IMVU. Any material on my page including but not limited to artwork, stories, journals, and all other intellectual material is under copyright to myself. Any material posted onto the FurAffinity website prior to 19 March 2015 is protected by the original ToS agreement to use of this site and no material will be redistributed or used without my legal authorization. At any time the new owners of this website alter the original ToS agreement to meet their own cooperate goals the material preexisting to the acquisition will not be used in any IMVU based sites or programs without my legal authorization.
In the event any of my intellectual copyrighted material is redistributed on any source outside of FurAffinity you will be in clear violation of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act and will be ordered to remove it from any source outside of FurAffinity or face legal charges of copyright infringement.
Unemployed Again
Posted 10 years agoAs of a few minutes ago, I was fired from Subway. I can't say I'm upset about it cause I was already looking for another job before quitting Subway.
BDSM Test
Posted 10 years ago== Results from http://bdsmtest.org/ ==
75% All-Rounder
25% Experimentalist
0% Bondage Giver
0% Bondage Receiver
0% Brat
0% Brat Tamer
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Degradation Giver
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Dominant
0% Exhibitionist
0% Girl/Boy
0% Masochist
0% Master/Mistress
0% Non-monogamist
0% Pervert
0% Primal (Predator)
0% Primal (Prey)
0% Sadist
0% Slave
0% Submissive
0% Switch
0% Vanilla
0% Voyeur
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=47738
75% All-Rounder
25% Experimentalist
0% Bondage Giver
0% Bondage Receiver
0% Brat
0% Brat Tamer
0% Daddy/Mommy
0% Degradation Giver
0% Degradation Receiver
0% Dominant
0% Exhibitionist
0% Girl/Boy
0% Masochist
0% Master/Mistress
0% Non-monogamist
0% Pervert
0% Primal (Predator)
0% Primal (Prey)
0% Sadist
0% Slave
0% Submissive
0% Switch
0% Vanilla
0% Voyeur
See my results online at http://bdsmtest.org/result.php?id=47738
Furry Teasers (Art Theft Alert)
Posted 10 years agoThis group has loads of stolen art and I recognize Hashire's art right off the bat. I'll let the screen caps speak for me. Please alert the artists of the images you recognize and bring this group down for good.
Original Alert Post
Stole Hashire's Piece
It Starts
Continued
There Is More
Isn't That Vextasy
Sure Is
Yep There's More
Not Done
There are more than what I show everyone here. I beg you. Help shut them down.
Original Alert Post
Stole Hashire's Piece
It Starts
Continued
There Is More
Isn't That Vextasy
Sure Is
Yep There's More
Not Done
There are more than what I show everyone here. I beg you. Help shut them down.
It Starts
Posted 11 years agoAlright I'm wanting something new. I'm now looking to add a T-Rex to my collection of characters.
Christmas Raffle
Posted 11 years ago
is having a Christmas giveaway, her art is amazing. So get in while you can!>>Enter Here<<
End
Posted 11 years agoToday has been just shit. I don't even want to know what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that I'm going to let the sound of my falling tears be drowned out by the shower.
What Is Your Job Going To Be In The Afterlife Quiz
Posted 11 years agoFind Out Here
My results are::
Guardian of the Gates of Heaven
Your job will be the Guardian of the Gates of Heaven. Your happy and inviting nature is perfect for the job of welcoming Heaven's newest arrivals. Your smiling and friendly personality will now definitely come in handy.
My results are::
Guardian of the Gates of Heaven
Your job will be the Guardian of the Gates of Heaven. Your happy and inviting nature is perfect for the job of welcoming Heaven's newest arrivals. Your smiling and friendly personality will now definitely come in handy.
Fucking Why
Posted 11 years agoWhy is it that every time I make plans to be with my mate, my mother suddenly has plans that are made after mine? I haven't seen my mate since July. I'm planning to spend Thanksgiving with him and now those plans are being ruined.
Even my boss says my mom is the one who should adjust plans and not me.
Even my boss says my mom is the one who should adjust plans and not me.
Dumbass Facebook Furry
Posted 11 years agoSome people just don't understand Wolves. The following os myself dealing with a dumbass on FB after he couldn't take a hint and kept asking me to marry him.
Wolf King:: Youre really amazing...heh...
Me:: Meh I'm not that good
Wolf King:: No you really are.
Me:: Pfft
Wolf King:: I am serious....-tail wags happily as I turn my head away blushing- Would you like to have fun? It can be anything you choose.
Me:: -grins- Sure
Wolf King:: -I slowly look at you. I lock eyes and smile- Okay, you have the reigns. You get to choose what we do.
Me:: -grabs your collar and pulls you close till our noses touch. My lips curl back in a blood thirsty snarl.- I have a mate whom I'm forever loyal to. He is the /only/ one I mate with. Unless you wish to be hunted down a turned into a fae, back off and don't test your limits.
Wolf King:: -sighs- I wanted to not have it be a one time...I love to mate and I am always faithful...I haven't mated for a long long time. I wanted it to be you truthfully. I have just been looking around and found no one to mate with. I wanted to mate with you and stay by your side. -I lick my nose because it itched from your nose is pressed against mine and I in turn lick your nose too.- I'm not looking to wreck anything.
Me:: That's your problem, pup. Now I mean it. Stay Away From Me!
Wolf King:: uh huh. you have the problem.
Me:: Nope. I'm a happily mated wolf who is not willing to cheat on her mate cause some pup isn't happy being single.
Wolf King:: Youre really amazing...heh...
Me:: Meh I'm not that good
Wolf King:: No you really are.
Me:: Pfft
Wolf King:: I am serious....-tail wags happily as I turn my head away blushing- Would you like to have fun? It can be anything you choose.
Me:: -grins- Sure
Wolf King:: -I slowly look at you. I lock eyes and smile- Okay, you have the reigns. You get to choose what we do.
Me:: -grabs your collar and pulls you close till our noses touch. My lips curl back in a blood thirsty snarl.- I have a mate whom I'm forever loyal to. He is the /only/ one I mate with. Unless you wish to be hunted down a turned into a fae, back off and don't test your limits.
Wolf King:: -sighs- I wanted to not have it be a one time...I love to mate and I am always faithful...I haven't mated for a long long time. I wanted it to be you truthfully. I have just been looking around and found no one to mate with. I wanted to mate with you and stay by your side. -I lick my nose because it itched from your nose is pressed against mine and I in turn lick your nose too.- I'm not looking to wreck anything.
Me:: That's your problem, pup. Now I mean it. Stay Away From Me!
Wolf King:: uh huh. you have the problem.
Me:: Nope. I'm a happily mated wolf who is not willing to cheat on her mate cause some pup isn't happy being single.
Sexual TMI Meme
Posted 11 years ago◦ ♡ Stolen From 
♡ ◦
1. When did you lose your virginity? = 14yrs
2: Rough sex or soft sex? = Rough
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? = I like being bitten
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? = In an alley
5: Favourite sex position? = Cowgirl and Doggy
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? = I'm a Switch, so it doesn't matter to me
7: Have you ever had any one night stands? = Yes
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? = Don't matter
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? = Nope, but I'm willing to try
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? = Nope
11: What does your favorite sexy underwear look like? = They are a light blue bikini cut and the entire front is lace
12: How often do you have sex? = When Hamza and I are together. At his place, three times on a slow day. My place, when we are alone.
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? = Do I really have to answer that? It shall always be Hamza. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? = I enjoy giving
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? = Top Secret (Hamza knows)
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? = Don't have one
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? = Don't have one
18: Are you into dressing up for sex? = If its to surprise Hamza when he gets home from work, Hell Yeah
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? = Bath
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? = Hamza ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? = No, but I'm willing to try it out. With Hamza's approval of course and he must be allowed to partake in the action.
22: Do you/would you use sex toys? = I have one for when Hamza isn't around
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? = Yes I'm guilty of that
24: Would you have sex with your best friend? = Pfft don't have one
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) = Cuddle and watch Hamza play his games
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? = A nibble just below my ear
27: Early morning sex or late night sex? = Both
28: Favorite body part on the opposite sex? = The muscle mmm
29: Favourite body part on the same sex? = Meh don't have one
30: Do you watch porn? = Rarely
Job Related Rant
Posted 11 years agoWhen an employee says to you "Oh I'm a Furry" dont automatically start jumping down their throats about how they are going to Hell and they aren't a "True" Christian just because they are Furries. Just cause it goes against /YOUR/ beliefs doesn't mean you have the right to try and change them. Number one, its very unprofessional of you as a MANAGER to even ask a question and react like that just cause you don't like their answer. Number two, Its Not Your Right To Try And Change Them!
-End Rant-
-End Rant-
Possible Sale
Posted 11 years agoBeen thinking about this for a while. I MIGHT sell LunaStar. Haven't really decided yet though. Might sell a couple other characters too.
Who is interested if I do decide to sell? Regardless of price.
If I sell Luna, it will be simply rights to her design. However you will be given the art that portrays her.
Who is interested if I do decide to sell? Regardless of price.
If I sell Luna, it will be simply rights to her design. However you will be given the art that portrays her.
Rant (ignore)
Posted 11 years agoI need to get out of this house. I'm fed up with how I'm being treated. I recently got accepted for food stamps, not proud of it at all, and its being spent like every last penny on food for the "family" yet I'm not allowed to have specific things for myself. Its my card and the money on said card is supposed to be for MY PUP AND I. Not on the 5 other people that ARE NOT on my case.
My mother requires me to give her at least a day notice if I'm wanting to do something with MY pup, yet she doesn't ask me till the last minute. My father obviously sides with her and makes it out that I'm the one in the wrong. I'm bitched at about chores when I work during the day yet non of my siblings are getting the same thing when they fail to do their chores.
I'm sorry but just cause I'm paying $150 a month "rent" to live with my parents, doesn't mean I should put up with this.
What's really sad is that I have absolutely no friends in town that I can hang out with. I can't go out of town cause my mom will harass me while I'm gone. I can't move in with my mate cause of fucking court papers that restrict me to the surrounding counties.
My mother requires me to give her at least a day notice if I'm wanting to do something with MY pup, yet she doesn't ask me till the last minute. My father obviously sides with her and makes it out that I'm the one in the wrong. I'm bitched at about chores when I work during the day yet non of my siblings are getting the same thing when they fail to do their chores.
I'm sorry but just cause I'm paying $150 a month "rent" to live with my parents, doesn't mean I should put up with this.
What's really sad is that I have absolutely no friends in town that I can hang out with. I can't go out of town cause my mom will harass me while I'm gone. I can't move in with my mate cause of fucking court papers that restrict me to the surrounding counties.
Interview Meme
Posted 11 years ago◦ ♡ Stolen From 
♡ ◦
RULES :
1. Pick one of your OCs.
2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OC.
3. Tag four people to do this meme!
4. Tell people that they been tagged with a link from your journal
1. What is your name?
"The name is Adiva."
2. Do you know why you were named that?
"Nope and I don't really care to know."
3. Single or taken?
"Single. Did you really think a monster like me would have a lover?" The fae starts laughing.
4. Have any abilities or powers?
"Compulsion, Strength, Speed, Longevity and Advanced Healing."
5. Stop being a Mary Sue!
"Say that again and see what happens."
6. What's your eye color?
"Light blue."
7. How about hair color?
"Don't you mean fur? Its dark brown."
8. Have you any family members?
"Like I would need a family."
9. Oh? How about pets?
"I have plenty of those."
10. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.
"I despise those who try to change what I am."
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
"Don't have any."
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
"I have 'hurt' plenty of people."
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
"If memory serves me right, I have killed about 19 people at least."
14. What kind of animal are you?
"Vampiric Wolf"
15. Name your worst habits
"Keeping secrets. There are many things that I never tell anyone."
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
"No."
17. Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?
"I'm straight you dumbass."
18. Do you go to school?
"Nope. Never went to school."
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
"Hahaha. That'll be the day."
20. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?
"Oh I'm sure I have some out there."
21. What are you most afraid of?
"Loosing the one I love. If I ever find someone."
22. What do you usually wear?
"My daylight pendant around my neck."
23. What's one food that tempts you?
"Blood. Always craving blood."
24. Am I annoying you?
"Question is are you getting bored?"
25. Well, it's still not over!
"Alright then."
26. What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?
"I don't belong to any 'class' but my own."
27. How many friends do you have?
"None, don't need people stabbing me in the back."
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
"Depends on the kind."
30. Favorite drink?
"Bourbon."
31. What's your favorite place?
32. Are you interested in anyone~?
"Why? Are you?"
33. That was a stupid question.
"Its only stupid if you don't mean it."
34. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
"Doesn't matter to me."
35. What's your type?
"The rebellious type."
36. Any fetishes?
"I'm a vampire. What do you think?"
37. Seme or uke?
"Doesn't matter to me. Although I do end up on top 90% of the time."
38. Camping or indoors?
"Doesn't matter to me. On my own either way."
39. Tag people!
40. Did you enjoy the interview?
"It was alright."
Numb
Posted 11 years agoUseless, Lazy, Bitch, Ungrateful
Those and more I have been called by people both strangers and those I know
Every time I try to do something for myself, I always get bitched at. Money, time, and personal issues.
I do things for them that I don't have to do only to be treated like trash. Then they are confused as to why I hesitate on things I should do.
I ask for one thing from them only to be bitched at. "What are you going to do for me?" Is what I get every time.
They complain about money and gas amongst other things, always blaming me. I only go to work and the plasma clinic. I don't ask to go places other than that.
I wish to spend time with my beloved only to be given hell about it. When I am able to be with my love, I'm harassed for things. Never able to truly enjoy being with him.
I hate the person I am. Submissive, fat, caring. I wish I was different. I cry cause of stress, sadness and longing only to yet again be bitched at. Told I have no reason to shed tears.
I try to hang on for my son, but I don't think I should. They have taken over and refuse to allow me the reins.
Perhaps I should give up on even trying to live my life. Every time I try to get on my own I'm hit with disapproval.
Those and more I have been called by people both strangers and those I know
Every time I try to do something for myself, I always get bitched at. Money, time, and personal issues.
I do things for them that I don't have to do only to be treated like trash. Then they are confused as to why I hesitate on things I should do.
I ask for one thing from them only to be bitched at. "What are you going to do for me?" Is what I get every time.
They complain about money and gas amongst other things, always blaming me. I only go to work and the plasma clinic. I don't ask to go places other than that.
I wish to spend time with my beloved only to be given hell about it. When I am able to be with my love, I'm harassed for things. Never able to truly enjoy being with him.
I hate the person I am. Submissive, fat, caring. I wish I was different. I cry cause of stress, sadness and longing only to yet again be bitched at. Told I have no reason to shed tears.
I try to hang on for my son, but I don't think I should. They have taken over and refuse to allow me the reins.
Perhaps I should give up on even trying to live my life. Every time I try to get on my own I'm hit with disapproval.
Profile Update
Posted 11 years agoSomething happened today that required I update my profile.
Who can tell me what is different?
Hamza, dont answer either.
Also for those wondering how my ankle is doing. I just twisted it and I'm doing much better. Im actually walking with a limp that is barely noticeable.
Who can tell me what is different?
Hamza, dont answer either.
Also for those wondering how my ankle is doing. I just twisted it and I'm doing much better. Im actually walking with a limp that is barely noticeable.
Life Update
Posted 11 years agoGot a call this morning from Subway. I have an interview tomorrow morning. ^-^ Then around noon I went to block off my sister's window so Kenobi wouldn't get out into the back yard with the other dogs and risk spreading the kennel cough. I stepped in a hole and my ankle gave a nasty pop sound. I was fine walking on it till around 5:30 before I couldn't put weight on it. So now I'm borrowing my sister's crutches till we find out what's wrong.
Mixed
Posted 11 years agoI feel so mixed up.
We long to be together yet I'm getting mixed messages.
They say it has been clear I should focus on getting a job first, but I know we can't do another separation lasting three months.
With things being the way they are, it will be weeks still before we embrace one another.
I feel as if I'm the weak link in all this.
We are unable to start a life together due to many factors on my side.
I try to get things going so there is nothing holding me back only to have it back fire.
They say I'm doing nothing, but they don't see what I do most the time.
I separate myself from others so I can think and have somewhat of a clear mind.
I rake my head for ways to see him again only to find my possible sources dry.
I'm to the point of doing things I don't wish to do.
I have tried selling items I'm willing to part with and no one is interested.
There is only so much my body can give before effects really start taking their toll.
We long to be together yet I'm getting mixed messages.
They say it has been clear I should focus on getting a job first, but I know we can't do another separation lasting three months.
With things being the way they are, it will be weeks still before we embrace one another.
I feel as if I'm the weak link in all this.
We are unable to start a life together due to many factors on my side.
I try to get things going so there is nothing holding me back only to have it back fire.
They say I'm doing nothing, but they don't see what I do most the time.
I separate myself from others so I can think and have somewhat of a clear mind.
I rake my head for ways to see him again only to find my possible sources dry.
I'm to the point of doing things I don't wish to do.
I have tried selling items I'm willing to part with and no one is interested.
There is only so much my body can give before effects really start taking their toll.
