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Aphantasia
Posted 6 years agoHonestly, right now I'm not too sure how to feel about myself.
So, I stumbled across something about "Aphantasia" while browsing Reddit and suddenly, a lot more things make sense. Before I go on, I encourage you to watch through this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewsGmhAjjjI.
Theres a little test at the beginning, which I tried on Kel; someone I've always considered super creative. He scored himself around 8-9. Me? I scored myself an absoloute 0. Anyone who knows me knows I talk VERY negatively about my art and I consider myself lacking creatively -- sadly people have often (though understandably) seen it as fishing for compliments or worrying over nothing. When I'm looking at the art of others and seeing all these wonderful images, it hurts knowing that I'm not able to imagine this stuff myself.
I've always subconciously pinned my lack of creativity on my depression, hoping that once I am cured of it I can be a better artist. I honestly feel a little defeated knowing that wont really be the case. At the same time though, it feels a little liberating knowing my past frustrations and self-loathing have been somewhat validated...
So, I stumbled across something about "Aphantasia" while browsing Reddit and suddenly, a lot more things make sense. Before I go on, I encourage you to watch through this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewsGmhAjjjI.
Theres a little test at the beginning, which I tried on Kel; someone I've always considered super creative. He scored himself around 8-9. Me? I scored myself an absoloute 0. Anyone who knows me knows I talk VERY negatively about my art and I consider myself lacking creatively -- sadly people have often (though understandably) seen it as fishing for compliments or worrying over nothing. When I'm looking at the art of others and seeing all these wonderful images, it hurts knowing that I'm not able to imagine this stuff myself.
I've always subconciously pinned my lack of creativity on my depression, hoping that once I am cured of it I can be a better artist. I honestly feel a little defeated knowing that wont really be the case. At the same time though, it feels a little liberating knowing my past frustrations and self-loathing have been somewhat validated...
Shinies
Posted 6 years agoEnabled because why not.
I wonder if this is going to reduce the use of sites like Ko-Fi?
I wonder if this is going to reduce the use of sites like Ko-Fi?
Opening Commissions
Posted 7 years agoI'll be opening a couple of commission slots in a hopeful effort to force myself into doing more art! I'll likely be using this journal entry as my main "commissions" journal, too. I'm uncertain about pricing so they'll likely to change at some point.
If you are interested, please send me a note
I am open to draw nearly anything, even stuff I am not comfortable with. So adult, clean, vore (cv, av, ect), macro, micro, gore, paws, watersports, etc. are all a "yes". Though don't be suprised if I ask for a lot of clarifications and have some unfamiliarity with the subjects! If you're unsure, just ask.
I want to improve at art so being open to any subject is likely to be beneficial for my own skills, though some things may not be uploaded for the sake of those who watch me.
The only subject I definitely won't touch is anything cub-related.
Pricing
Base price is $50. This is for an upper-body focused image. This can be a mawshot, bust, etc. Example: OneTwo
Full body: +$20
Additional char (Low focus): +$10
Additional char (High focus): +$25
I appreciate these prices are a bit random, pulling numbers from nowhere atm :V
Low focus - these are characters that are low detail or only part visible.
High focus - these are characters that are high detail and take up a fair portion of the canvas.
...I'll admit I have little idea what I'm doing.
Can't guarentee things will be finished, as a result payment is asked on completion rather than up front.
I ask any commissioners be honest -- I want to improve! Don't be nice for the sake of it.
You can read my WIP Terms of Service HERE
Current Queue
BlueSwallow - Done!
Alym - Done!
Shorty - Colouring
Dragonfreund - Planning (x2)
LightningDragon & Co - Planning
-Closed After This-
Absence
Posted 8 years agoHeya guys,
I just wanted to apologize for my absence from FA, Twitter & Instant Messengers. I've been going through a prolonged period of low mood which has sapped all my creativity, enthusiasm and joy. It has also made me pretty anti-social in terms of engaging with others, though I want to express my gratitude for the people who've kept in touch with me, it means a lot and it has been seriously needed.
I hope I can shake this soon and get back to doing arts! I've made a point of adding a "To-Do" as my footer as you'll see below.
Miss you all D:
I just wanted to apologize for my absence from FA, Twitter & Instant Messengers. I've been going through a prolonged period of low mood which has sapped all my creativity, enthusiasm and joy. It has also made me pretty anti-social in terms of engaging with others, though I want to express my gratitude for the people who've kept in touch with me, it means a lot and it has been seriously needed.
I hope I can shake this soon and get back to doing arts! I've made a point of adding a "To-Do" as my footer as you'll see below.
Miss you all D:
Trying to improve
Posted 8 years agoAnyone who knows me can confirm that I'm incredibly critical of myself and my art to an almost irritable degree. This is not because I want more praise or I'm being overzealous in humility, but because I have an innate desire to improve; every piece I create I see a thousand things I could improve on. I naturally see these areas and fixate on them. For example, if I upload a piece and see I've been coy about highlights, the next piece I do I put emphasis on highlights.
While this is fine and dandy for creating decent pieces, I've been ignorant about the one thing that has truly been holding me back: my mindset. I see the prolific nature of many other artists and feel a pang of envy -- why can't I upload more frequently instead of every few month? The truth is that my loathing of my own work ends up interfering with my desire to upload -- for every one piece that I upload, there are hundreds of sketches that will never see the light of day.
In an attempt to combat this, I've re-purposed my Twitter ( https://twitter.com/BlueWoofy ) as a bit of a WIP/Sketch showcase. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up and get over my self-doubt.
If there are any other artists watching me who have the desire to improve -- please get in touch. I'd love to have people who I could improve with -- sharing images and getting constructive feedback. Feeling alone in the desire to "get better" is another artistic burden I face.
Lastly, I just want to express my gratitude for all that support that has been given despite my unproductive nature -- comments, watches, faves. Though requiring as little as a click of a button, I cannot sufficiently express the emotional impact it has on me; knowing that people care enough about something I do to actually take the time to engage. I've also seen one or two people list me as one of their 'favourite artists' and I want to express my deepest thanks, it's truly honouring and it has definitely helped me feel more confident in myself and my abilities. It makes my day every time I see it.
I love you all.
While this is fine and dandy for creating decent pieces, I've been ignorant about the one thing that has truly been holding me back: my mindset. I see the prolific nature of many other artists and feel a pang of envy -- why can't I upload more frequently instead of every few month? The truth is that my loathing of my own work ends up interfering with my desire to upload -- for every one piece that I upload, there are hundreds of sketches that will never see the light of day.
In an attempt to combat this, I've re-purposed my Twitter ( https://twitter.com/BlueWoofy ) as a bit of a WIP/Sketch showcase. Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up and get over my self-doubt.
If there are any other artists watching me who have the desire to improve -- please get in touch. I'd love to have people who I could improve with -- sharing images and getting constructive feedback. Feeling alone in the desire to "get better" is another artistic burden I face.
Lastly, I just want to express my gratitude for all that support that has been given despite my unproductive nature -- comments, watches, faves. Though requiring as little as a click of a button, I cannot sufficiently express the emotional impact it has on me; knowing that people care enough about something I do to actually take the time to engage. I've also seen one or two people list me as one of their 'favourite artists' and I want to express my deepest thanks, it's truly honouring and it has definitely helped me feel more confident in myself and my abilities. It makes my day every time I see it.
I love you all.
Moving.. again.
Posted 9 years agoIn hospital at the moment waiting for more surgery, using their Wi-Fi to post this.
Me and Kel have recently moved again. Sadly, we've had a few issues getting internet set up so that's the reason it may seem I've dropped off the face of the earth. Should hopefully get it as soon as possible and get back into posting arts.
Me and Kel have recently moved again. Sadly, we've had a few issues getting internet set up so that's the reason it may seem I've dropped off the face of the earth. Should hopefully get it as soon as possible and get back into posting arts.
Lack of Activity
Posted 10 years agoHey guys, I just wanted to apologize for my general lack of activity.
I've been caught up with my coding work as of late and it's eating a lot of my time.. that's it really. I need to work on my time management and balance doing art and coding. Rather than focusing on one exclusively.
I've been caught up with my coding work as of late and it's eating a lot of my time.. that's it really. I need to work on my time management and balance doing art and coding. Rather than focusing on one exclusively.
Moving
Posted 10 years agoHey guys, sorry for the lack of art or any real activity. I'm in the process of moving with Kel. Been eating a chunk of my time though..
On the bright side, once I've moved, you'll see a LOT more art from me.. possibly animations!
On the bright side, once I've moved, you'll see a LOT more art from me.. possibly animations!
My art + Artist buddy wanted.
Posted 10 years ago
About my art
I'm feeling pretty confident in the new technique I've been using and I've been getting the desired result for the most part. That said, I've identified a few issues that I'd like to work on.
Edges
Admittedly, I've been a little unhappy with my edges -- the method I've been using results in some pretty soft edges. In future works, I'd definitely like to improve on that, creating harder edges and defining the shape significantly more.
Color
I feel that I've improved quite a lot with color, there is definitely more variation and the colors are generally more desaturated than they once were, the fact I've also been adding some more lighting variations has also been a help. That said, I feel that I really need to add more in the way of varied light sources, as well as working on translucency and subsurface scattering.
Contrast/Smoothing
I'm still working on trying to make the contrast as smooth as possible depending on shadow types (Hard/Soft) and such but I'm feeling as though that there is often too much contrast.. Really need to work on it as well as smoothing out my strokes.
Patience
I rush. Lots.
Art Buddy!
This is... a little odd.
Basically, I'm looking for someone who I can work on improving my art with. Somebody who I can bounce ideas off and vice versa. It'd be nice to be able to show my art so someone and get a good critique as well as looking at theirs and seeing how they approach certain problems. It'd also be nice to have someone to do Open Canvas sessions with as well! I'm not after a few people; just one. I do have a few requirements though
- Someone genuinely interested in improving their art; using new techniques and methods.
- Someone open minded; this isn't a vore exclusive thing. I would like someone willing to try different things (Artistic nudity, landscapes, cityscapes, etc.)
- Skill level isn't really an issue. Someone on a similar level to mine would be ideal but not all that necessary.
- Mutual input. This shouldn't be about one person helping the other. It's about giving input and receiving input :D
- Skype contact would be very helpful given it's where I am most of the time. :D
- Spare time. If you're bombarded with commissions or anything then it may hinder progression. Doesn't mean it's a daily thing though.
- Digital only.
If you have any questions or you're interested then please let me know. It's not a super serious thing, just a way to improve at art with mutual support. :D
Blimey!
Posted 10 years agoLooks like I reached two milestones in one! 300 watchers and 100 favorites on a single piece!
To many people, these achievements may be just another day but to me, they truly mean a lot. I'm grateful to all of you for your support with my art. As someone who is insecure with art, it's a pretty damn encouraging! I'm continually trying to improve and it's nice knowing when I'm going in the right direction too!
In other news, my paw is still very much broken. I just wanted to extend a bit of a personal thanks to kelenkenwithfangs, chizmo, wolf-mutt and crimsondragoon12. These guys have been keeping my mood up during this kiiinda crappy time by just talking to me, being sweet and doing everything I demand (*Cough*Kelenken*Cough*).
I'm hoping to get more art done soon and improve even further! :D
To many people, these achievements may be just another day but to me, they truly mean a lot. I'm grateful to all of you for your support with my art. As someone who is insecure with art, it's a pretty damn encouraging! I'm continually trying to improve and it's nice knowing when I'm going in the right direction too!
In other news, my paw is still very much broken. I just wanted to extend a bit of a personal thanks to kelenkenwithfangs, chizmo, wolf-mutt and crimsondragoon12. These guys have been keeping my mood up during this kiiinda crappy time by just talking to me, being sweet and doing everything I demand (*Cough*Kelenken*Cough*).
I'm hoping to get more art done soon and improve even further! :D
Out of Hospital.
Posted 10 years agoFor the last couple of days I've been in hospital care after getting into a cycling accident. Was cycling with Kelenken and yeah.. things went awry.. Broke my foot D:
It was pretty bad in terms of pain but I was in a good mood (after pain meds). I'd never broken a bone before and I'd found out I broke quite a few as well as dislocating others. My mood was stifled when I overheard the doctors discussing my injury.. Low and behold, I managed to get a pretty severe injury; one commonly associated with motorcycling and extreme sports. It got a little worse when they were talking about how they couldn't treat me at that hospital...
They did a 3 hour operation on that day under general anesthetic to basically wire things roughly back into place so there would be no further damages until I could get to a specialist. After the operation, I was transferred to a different hospital.
After settling in and getting more xrays and CT scans I got my second op. Again, general anesthetic... approx 8 hours this time.. The pain I had after waking up was friggen horrible.. I did find a video of a similar operation, for those curious! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQa8W9oFqqo
after 6 days at the hospital, I'm at home now. Got a big ass cast and I'm incredibly weak after being jabbed EVERYWHERE with needles. So yeah..
I'm still going to be doing art but it's going to be difficult to get comfortable and I worry the pain may interfere with my concentration.. secondly, I'm curious to see how the pain meds will effect things.. xD One nice thing to come home to was the new icon done for me by :userThe-Rat:! As well as a YCH collab I did the sketch for got $80.. which made me feel good about my arts.
Just thought I'd let you all know what's going on! :D
Also, Ow. Ow ow ow.
It was pretty bad in terms of pain but I was in a good mood (after pain meds). I'd never broken a bone before and I'd found out I broke quite a few as well as dislocating others. My mood was stifled when I overheard the doctors discussing my injury.. Low and behold, I managed to get a pretty severe injury; one commonly associated with motorcycling and extreme sports. It got a little worse when they were talking about how they couldn't treat me at that hospital...
They did a 3 hour operation on that day under general anesthetic to basically wire things roughly back into place so there would be no further damages until I could get to a specialist. After the operation, I was transferred to a different hospital.
After settling in and getting more xrays and CT scans I got my second op. Again, general anesthetic... approx 8 hours this time.. The pain I had after waking up was friggen horrible.. I did find a video of a similar operation, for those curious! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQa8W9oFqqo
after 6 days at the hospital, I'm at home now. Got a big ass cast and I'm incredibly weak after being jabbed EVERYWHERE with needles. So yeah..
I'm still going to be doing art but it's going to be difficult to get comfortable and I worry the pain may interfere with my concentration.. secondly, I'm curious to see how the pain meds will effect things.. xD One nice thing to come home to was the new icon done for me by :userThe-Rat:! As well as a YCH collab I did the sketch for got $80.. which made me feel good about my arts.
Just thought I'd let you all know what's going on! :D
Also, Ow. Ow ow ow.
About my art
Posted 10 years agoHey guys, sorry for the lack of any real updates.
I've been doing a lot of sketching in the way of Open Canvas sessions with a few friends. The reason I haven't uploaded much is purely because I don't feel okay uploading my sketches. I feel like I'm "spamming if I upload unfinished pieces". I'm going to try get past that and upload more..
Secondly.. I've been trying to expand on my skills. Been doing more in the way of non-furry art which has been kinda helpful.
Alsoooo.. If you have a ref sheet, please send it my way. I'm looking to doodle random characters. Especially dragons/scalies. Need to improve with 'em.
I've been doing a lot of sketching in the way of Open Canvas sessions with a few friends. The reason I haven't uploaded much is purely because I don't feel okay uploading my sketches. I feel like I'm "spamming if I upload unfinished pieces". I'm going to try get past that and upload more..
Secondly.. I've been trying to expand on my skills. Been doing more in the way of non-furry art which has been kinda helpful.
Alsoooo.. If you have a ref sheet, please send it my way. I'm looking to doodle random characters. Especially dragons/scalies. Need to improve with 'em.
Rarararara!
Posted 11 years agoHey guys!
Arts
Sorry I've been quiet with uploading stuffs, just haven't had anything worth uploading (yet!) That said, I've been posting a LOT to my Twitter in the form of doodles and sketches. I've been doing a lot of Open Canvas doodling with people and it's helping me become a bit more comfortable with art as well as helping me be less "Srs bsns" about it.
DRAGON KARLOS
I've been designing a Dragon-sona for Karlos.. For vore. He is mostly canine but maw capacity causes some.. limitations. ;D I'm still in the process of designing him and fleshing him out and stuffs. Trying to make him a dragon but still retain his characteristics in terms of appearance. Click to seeeeee. So yeah, I can't wait to make more use of him and get better at darguns!
To Do
- Shorty's YCH (Still >>;)
- Wolfy Karlos nommin' Rae (akaikosh)
- Karlos/Chizmo vore
- Other stuff
Arts
Sorry I've been quiet with uploading stuffs, just haven't had anything worth uploading (yet!) That said, I've been posting a LOT to my Twitter in the form of doodles and sketches. I've been doing a lot of Open Canvas doodling with people and it's helping me become a bit more comfortable with art as well as helping me be less "Srs bsns" about it.
DRAGON KARLOS
I've been designing a Dragon-sona for Karlos.. For vore. He is mostly canine but maw capacity causes some.. limitations. ;D I'm still in the process of designing him and fleshing him out and stuffs. Trying to make him a dragon but still retain his characteristics in terms of appearance. Click to seeeeee. So yeah, I can't wait to make more use of him and get better at darguns!
To Do
- Shorty's YCH (Still >>;)
- Wolfy Karlos nommin' Rae (akaikosh)
- Karlos/Chizmo vore
- Other stuff
Heya Guys
Posted 11 years agoIt's been 5 months since my last journal so I'd like to just give a small update about things. Sorry I've kinda just.. died.
Things are incredibly hectic these days, I've slipped back into depression which has destroyed my ability to do art and keep in touch with people, so if I've not been talking to you then please don't assume I'm upset or angry at you ;~;. If I have been talking to you and have been an emotional burden then I apologize for that too. A lot of recent events in my life is getting to me.
My web-related work has also been keeping me incredibly occupied; one of my projects is near completion and it's crunch time. Lots of bug testing, communicating and worrying being involved.
On the bright side.. I'm in the motions of getting a place with Kelenkenwithfangs, it's most likely going to be a long process but once that process is complete, I'll be producing a LOT of art and coding a lot more.
Artists...
If there are any people who want to do a small collaboration with me then please let me know. I've surprisingly been wanting to improve on my coloring but I lack the motivation to get any solid sketches done, so if someone wants to do a lineart and have me color it.. let me know!
Twitter
I've been making more use of my Twitter account, my fourth one. I've abandoned my old account with a couple hundred followers to use my account that's more.. personal. If you're on Twitter and want to read the random shit I post, the link is Here. I'm trying to be more social C:
Let me know how you guys are. I've missed you all
Things are incredibly hectic these days, I've slipped back into depression which has destroyed my ability to do art and keep in touch with people, so if I've not been talking to you then please don't assume I'm upset or angry at you ;~;. If I have been talking to you and have been an emotional burden then I apologize for that too. A lot of recent events in my life is getting to me.
My web-related work has also been keeping me incredibly occupied; one of my projects is near completion and it's crunch time. Lots of bug testing, communicating and worrying being involved.
On the bright side.. I'm in the motions of getting a place with Kelenkenwithfangs, it's most likely going to be a long process but once that process is complete, I'll be producing a LOT of art and coding a lot more.
Artists...
If there are any people who want to do a small collaboration with me then please let me know. I've surprisingly been wanting to improve on my coloring but I lack the motivation to get any solid sketches done, so if someone wants to do a lineart and have me color it.. let me know!
I've been making more use of my Twitter account, my fourth one. I've abandoned my old account with a couple hundred followers to use my account that's more.. personal. If you're on Twitter and want to read the random shit I post, the link is Here. I'm trying to be more social C:
Let me know how you guys are. I've missed you all
Updates
Posted 11 years agoSorry for being a little quiet over the last few days both here and on Skype. Kel has been with me and I’ve been looking after him (He’s ill) and I’ve also gotten hooked on a game which, for the sake of my dignity, I shall not name. >>
Anyway, I’m hoping to get back into the groove of things in the next few days.
My to-do
- Practice colouring!
- Do more sketches, I need to venture out of my comfort zones!
- Do more vore art, being a bit more aggressive/in-depth!
- Trade with Aku!
- YCH for Shorty!
---
That’s it for now. Hopefully I can get my ass off games and work >>
Anyway, I’m hoping to get back into the groove of things in the next few days.
My to-do
- Practice colouring!
- Do more sketches, I need to venture out of my comfort zones!
- Do more vore art, being a bit more aggressive/in-depth!
- Trade with Aku!
- YCH for Shorty!
---
That’s it for now. Hopefully I can get my ass off games and work >>
Karlos in art / Want your sonas
Posted 12 years agoThis is something that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while now to settle a few concerns that I personally have when I use Karlos and Kelenken in my art. I always get a feeling that I’m coming off as egotistical or self-centred when the truth is this: I have no-one else to draw, I’m uncomfortable with the idea of drawing a character I don’t fully understand.
This is a problem that I do want to overcome though and one that I’d appreciate assistance with. When I use Karlos or Kel; I limit myself to their interests and I end up having a lot of situations that I’d love to draw but they wouldn’t suit the characters.
I’m always reluctant to feature other characters because I genuinely fear fucking their characters up. I fear not being able to do a character the justice they deserve… That’s where you guys come in.
I want you to sacrifice your ‘sona! B)
Basically, I’d love to gain permission from you to use your characters in my art. Please don’t misinterpret this as open requests because the images will be thought up by myself but I’d possibly use your characters.. Think of it as free blind YCH’s. I’m up to drawing new things and experimenting with different topics so even if I don’t draw something that interests you, it can always be considered. Sexual and vore situations are definitely okay.
What’s I’d need from you is the following: Reference and Preferences. I’d also need you to understand that I may not do your character justice or I may do them wrong; I’m trying to develop my skills so failures are expected. Also, your character may be paired off randomly (Sexual pieces, vore pieces, etc)
If you’re okay with allowing me to use your character, respond/note with something like this:
Reference: http://puu.sh/6C0lj.jpg
Preferences: Sexual Situations. Vore situations.
---
Anyway, thanks for any responses ;^; I may not use your character but they’ll be in the ‘list of characters I can use’ xD
This is a problem that I do want to overcome though and one that I’d appreciate assistance with. When I use Karlos or Kel; I limit myself to their interests and I end up having a lot of situations that I’d love to draw but they wouldn’t suit the characters.
I’m always reluctant to feature other characters because I genuinely fear fucking their characters up. I fear not being able to do a character the justice they deserve… That’s where you guys come in.
I want you to sacrifice your ‘sona! B)
Basically, I’d love to gain permission from you to use your characters in my art. Please don’t misinterpret this as open requests because the images will be thought up by myself but I’d possibly use your characters.. Think of it as free blind YCH’s. I’m up to drawing new things and experimenting with different topics so even if I don’t draw something that interests you, it can always be considered. Sexual and vore situations are definitely okay.
What’s I’d need from you is the following: Reference and Preferences. I’d also need you to understand that I may not do your character justice or I may do them wrong; I’m trying to develop my skills so failures are expected. Also, your character may be paired off randomly (Sexual pieces, vore pieces, etc)
If you’re okay with allowing me to use your character, respond/note with something like this:
Reference: http://puu.sh/6C0lj.jpg
Preferences: Sexual Situations. Vore situations.
---
Anyway, thanks for any responses ;^; I may not use your character but they’ll be in the ‘list of characters I can use’ xD
Hey guys / 2014
Posted 12 years agoHeya guys!
It’s been a long time since I’ve uploaded anything and my general activity level has been that of a lurker. Despite this, I still do a lot of art but I never find any of it decent enough to upload to FA or even show people who aren’t in my VERY close circle of friends.
Anyway, it’s 2014. I think for this year I’m really going to make an attempt to be more alive on here and actually upload more of my work… even if I hate it >>
I hope you’re all doing well!
It’s been a long time since I’ve uploaded anything and my general activity level has been that of a lurker. Despite this, I still do a lot of art but I never find any of it decent enough to upload to FA or even show people who aren’t in my VERY close circle of friends.
Anyway, it’s 2014. I think for this year I’m really going to make an attempt to be more alive on here and actually upload more of my work… even if I hate it >>
I hope you’re all doing well!
