I've always had trouble accepting myself or my limitations. It's made me very angry toward myself a lot. I wonder still what i wanna do with my life. Where i wanna go. Who i wanna be. All kinds of things.
So i wonder often if art is the road i should take. At first to me it was just me wanting to get into the furry community. Then i realized i needed to want to do it and do it for myself not for the community. It's nice to do things for the community but i need to also think about myself.
But i am at a crossroads still... or again... wondering if i should continue my dream or goal you could say of being an artist. I want to... i really do but i don't have the drive... i want my ideas to come to life and i want to share them. i think i focus too much on wanting to be "good" which once again is doing it for others, not myself.
I look at some artist development and wonder how they got so good. Then i noticed something they all had. I think what i saw was their "Drive" what pushes them forward, what makes them want to do it. I haven't found my drive.
But i want to! i have the drive to find my drive. if that makes any sense. I want to be what i want to be. But that takes me getting the drive to do it i believe. I have the want to want something. It's like preparing for a storm i feel. I am ready for the storm, now i just have to go through it. Then i'll find my drive, reach my goals, and keep going. Be what i want to be.
This little journal. i honestly started typing in a saddened mood. But then something changed. Not sure what but it's a good change. I'm happier then can be right now. i feel like i found a purpose..
I know this was a lot to read and i thank you. Hopefully soon you'll be seeing more of me. Not just on here but all over. i want to be known. i want to be somebody someday.
Stay cool.

To the few that were reading my story on here i'd like to thank you first of all and say that i am back in school and have received my computer much earlier then expected. I wasn't expecting them till around labor day but i did the first day and am very much happy to say that i shall continue writing as soon as possible, Thanks again to those that have been reading.
I'll do my best to continue to supply you with adequate reading,
Thanks for reading, and stay cool ;3

When i get a job yall be prepared for these commissions lol
just random thoughts again...

well i don't know if people know this but i don't really have money... or a job (looking though) and was wondering if anyone would be kind enough to let me... well... let me have a copy of SAI paint... i understand if ya don't wanna but i'm hoping to get a break from somebody.
Just wondering... if ya wanna.

So last night I had the craziest dream!
I was with my brothers and my cousins and we were playing around with some 3D maneuver gear (from attack on titan, watch it) and then I fell and like exploded. Not into pieces in likr a shockwave and destroyed half the neighborhood. The next day it was all rebuilt though. But weird things happened. The city was blowing blue atuff up and down the streets. It gave animals the ability to talk. It also made them insane rapists... so I was getting chased by a squirrel that was chanting "I want butthole" so I ran inside where my two cats were. Sense they had been inside they weren't affected.
Thats where it ended. I honestly hope this dream continues cause it's just crazy And funny. But the weird part is that I rarely have dreams in the first place. Or rather don't remember them at all by thw time I wake up.
But oh well thanks for reading

Yet another school year is coming to an end and that means the end of a lot of things (possibly my virginity, wait whaaaaat~?)
But that also means that this laptop that i am typing on at this very moment will also be coming to an end. So they will be taking them back this friday (may 23) there for i will not be able to type anymore for a while unless my mom actually does indeed get a new computer. Which i highly doubt. But i will be jo searching so cross your fingers yall!
I'll miss you guys and good thing is i'll have plenty of time to think of what will happen next in the story. But it's gonna suck for a bit lol (no more yiff pics omg!)
Luv yall! Stay cool!


(if you want my skype or somethin just note me or somethin)